E110 - Active Listening featuring Simon Kardynal

all professions . I'm your host , Simon Kardynal , and today we're delving into what I believe to be the most vital skill for any leader, active listening . We've all heard the saying communication is key , and there's good reason why we're constantly hearing this phrase , and it's because it's true .

But what if I told you that effective communication starts with listening , that , as leaders , it's our responsibility to hear hear everything , not just the words that are being spoken . It's about being active in the conversations . It's about actively listening . Active listening is not just about hearing words . It's about understanding , interpreting and responding thoughtfully .

So in this episode , we're going to break this all down and we're going to talk about active listening , what it is , why it matters and how you can cultivate this skill . And so I begin by suggesting that we answer the question what is active listening

? Active listening is a communication technique that requires the listener to fully concentrate , understand , respond and then remember what is being said . It involves more than just hearing the words . It engages the mind and requires an emotional component . So what are some of the components of active listening ? Pay full attention In Daring Greatly .

Have the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live , love , parent and lead .

Brene Brown talks about how being present means focusing on the speaker , making constant eye contact , not cutting off their sentences and , most importantly , not formulating a response until they have completed their thought , because , really , how can we have a response if we really haven't listened to everything they've said ?

The next thing is to have a solid reflection . Paraphrasing and reflecting on what the speaker said confirms your and their understanding of the information . Rogers and Farson , in 2015 , talked about their topic in the book Active Listening .

In Carl Rogers', "onversations with Carl Rogers , they emphasize that without a clear understanding of what is being said , it's highly likely the intended message will get lost . And once you're doing all this , you have to clarify what's going on . So how do you ensure that what was said was fully understood ? How do you ensure that you understood everything ?

Ask questions . Asking questions every time and when you've asked a couple of questions , ask two more . Asking questions clarifies these points that you don't understand or , even more importantly , where you think you understand something but it turns out you really didn't . And the last thing is to have empathy . Being empathetic can be difficult .

I get it , especially if you don't like the person or if you've already decided you don't like the topic or the idea . But here's the thing You're the leader . It's your job to be unbiased and take the time and be empathetic . It's not easy but too bad . This is your job .

But now that we've listened to what active listening entails , let's discuss why it matters .

The first thing about active listening is that it builds trust In the Art of Listening . How Leaders Create Trust . Leadership development journal Batten in 2015 discusses how active listening fosters an environment of trust . Active listening fosters an environment of trust .

Covi takes this one step further by explaining that when team members feel heard , they are more likely to share their ideas and concerns openly . And , as the leader , it's your job to create an environment where people feel as though they can safely share their ideas and thoughts . The other thing about active listening is that it improves communication .

It's no secret that effective leaders who practice active listening encourage a feedback loop that enhances team collaboration and reduces all those little misunderstandings that always happen . The other thing about active listening is that it provides for an enhanced problem solving .

In HBR's 10 Must Reads on Collaboration , it discusses how good leaders understand the nuances of their team's challenges and , by using active listening , leaders can gather critical information and perspectives about their team members , enhancing their knowledge of what makes their team players tick and , in turn , helping them understand what motivates them and how to get the

most out of their team members . The last thing about active listening is that it empowers teams . When a leader genuinely listens , truly , truly listens , their team members will feel heard and inevitably they'll feel empowered , valued , heard again and acknowledged .

And this sweet spot is where leaders they get the most honest and frank conversations , which , of course , leads to increased motivation and productivity .

So drop us a note and let's talk . This podcast is made possible by listeners like you , and if you feel we've earned it , please tell your friends and leave a review to help us grow our following . And now back to the show .

to practice . Let's discuss how to practice active listening . I mean , obviously , the first one is to be fully present . Being fully present is the foundation of active listening . It means dedicating your complete attention to the speaker and the conversation at hand , and folks , I know this is not easy .

Most of us are programmed to start formulating an idea before we've heard everything . But if we stay there , if the person who is speaking knows that we are there the whole time , I promise you you will reap rewards of that that you won't even see coming . It's amazing . The other thing to do this is to eliminate all kinds of distractions .

Identify any distractions you have in your environment and minimize them . This means closing unnecessary tabs on your computer , silencing your phone , stepping away from a noisy workspace . It doesn't really matter . What you need is a distraction-free zone that tells both you and the speaker that this conversation is a priority . The other thing is to be authentically

mindful . Mindfulness is the practice of grounding yourself in the moment by focusing on your thoughts , feelings and surroundings without judgment . Cultivating mindfulness enhances your ability to be present . I recommend engaging in mindfulness preparation exercises such as deep breathing or brief meditation prior to any of your conversations .

These type of exercises can help you clear your mind before a conversation . These type of exercises can help you clear your mind before a conversation . Personally , what I do is I make sure my phone is actually off , it's completely off , so that I can stay in that moment .

And if I know it's going to be a long conversation or something difficult , or if I know I have other things going on in the back of my mind , I will go over my notes again just to make sure that I'm ready to go , and that helps set my mind for how I'm going to attack whatever this conversation will be . The next thing is to adopt open body language .

Nonverbal communication plays a significant role in expressing your presence . Face the speaker directly , maintain eye contact and let them finish their sentences . Open body language communicates that you are engaged and receptive and if you remember , earlier I talked about asking questions .

Here's the thing when you're reading someone else's body language and you think they're closed off , ask the question . Just because their arms are crossed does not mean that they're closed to what's happening .

Just because your arms are crossed doesn't mean that you're closed to happening , but think about what they might be thinking and then offer an explanation , because most often we're making an assumption about what we think . Ask the questions , talk to people and get it out there . Be active in what the conversation is about .

The other thing is to learn to read body language . This skill is instrumental to being a successful active listener . It's difficult , it takes practice and it takes a willingness to ask questions . There's a reason why I'm bringing it up twice .

It's that important and in the beginning I recommend asking questions and when you've done asking questions , ask some more questions . If we don't , there are many , many challenges that will inevitably arise . It's , it's just the way it's going to be .

And if you've been a long time listener of the show , you'll have heard about my Garfield eyes and what those are . That is where I , when I'm really concentrating and quite often when I'm actively listening , I'm concentrating on the conversation .

I get that furrowed over eyebrow and everyone often thinks that it means that I'm really angry or I'm not disagreeing , when all it really means is I'm concentrating . I not disagreeing when all it really means is I'm concentrating . I'm in the moment . So I've learned over time that when I'm about to go into a big conversation to explain to people .

Hey , listen , it might look like I'm angry right now , or if you're getting that impression when I'm chatting with you , when you're speaking to me and I , my eyebrows are furring over , that's not me upset . All I'm simply saying is I am working hard to stay in this and I'm concentrating on what's happening .

And if you think that's what's happening , tell me and we'll have a conversation and we'll figure it out . And it works out every time . The other thing is to listen without formulating responses . The next point is to listen without formulating responses . I briefly touched on this point earlier , but it's so important I want to bring it up again .

A common pitfall in conversations is thinking about what you want to say next rather than focusing on the speaker's message . Avoid interrupting their flow by planning your response while they are still talking . Instead , pause and allow the speaker to finish before gathering their thoughts . The other thing with this is to acknowledge your own thoughts .

It's natural for your mind to wander during a conversation , considering your own experiences or opinions . When this happens , gently redirect your focus back to the speaker . You might acknowledge those thoughts internally , but consciously choose to set them aside for the moment .

And again , I know it's not easy , especially in the beginning , and especially if you think you've already got everything formulated and figured out . But now is the time to stay in that moment and ensure the person who's talking to you gets all of your attention .

And while we talk an awful lot about active listening , it's also important to practice active engagement . Show that you are present , offer verbal acknowledgments such as I see or go on . It encourages the speaker and reinforces your focus on their message . Additionally , consider taking brief notes if appropriate .

This can help solidify your understanding and attention without becoming a distraction , and that's what I often do . I take all kinds of notes and that's because I know that maybe something is important and I'll get moved on to the next important thing .

So when I'm taking those notes , it helps me understand , to be able to go back and make sure I understood exactly what was said . It helps me ask better questions .

The last thing is remember always do the feedback loop , paraphrase or summarize the speaker's points to demonstrate that you're engaged and to clarify understanding Phrases like what I hear you saying is or so you're concerned about dot , dot , dot .

Affirm that you are not just hearing their words , but that you are processing their content deeply , authentically and with the due consideration that it's required

. Well , that's a wrap from the front . In this episode , we talked about active listening , what it is , why it's important and how to practice it . Folks , I promise making active listening a part of your leadership repertoire will enhance their overall leadership effectiveness and your overall leadership effectiveness , improving yourself and your team . Thanks for tuning in .

And remember leadership without passion limits the depth of your vision .

Music provided by Ashamaluel Music .