Attitude must be one of humility. Don't try to pacify. They approached him in humility. They did it with two ways their words and their ways.
You're listening to Treasure Truth with pastor and author James Fort Jr, senior pastor of the Christ Bible Church in Chicago. I'm Steve Hillard. Glad you're with us today as we continue our series, when I'm sorry isn't enough and you just hit on something so key. Pastor, I'm sure that many of us can think of situations or times where someone has wronged us and they've come and they said, I'm sorry, but based on the tone, the body language,
everything else you can tell they're not sorry. And that's a good lesson, a reminder for us as we go to apologize. We need to make sure that that's coming from a genuine place.
Where's the humility?
Yeah.
Where's the brokenness? Where is the contrition? Because all those things demonstrate my comprehension of the pain that I've caused you. Yeah. You know, and so the manner in which I approach you is very important. Rhetoricians tell us that 50% of what we communicate, we communicate by the tone. 30% of what we communicate by our body language. Only 20% by our words. I have it confirmed all the time. The wife says, you know, would you empty the garbage? Yeah, yeah. Oh,
never mind, never mind. Well, I said yes. Yeah. Oh yeah yeah, yeah. But the way you said it and the manner in which you said it, it was like. No.
Yeah, absolutely. For me I the first thing that comes to mind are my two little kids, because they're at that age now where we are trying to model for them and teach them what it means to say I'm sorry and to apologize and to, you know, recognize the fact that I hurt your little brother or your little sister. What does a genuine true apology look like?
That's right.
And when they're little, it's. It's pretty funny sometimes.
It is true, man. I heard a story of one little boy. His little brother Mikey pinched him and hurt him, and he hollered. And his mother said, well, he doesn't understand how it feels. And then all of a sudden she heard the little brother holler and he said, Now Mikey knows how it feels.
Right, exactly. And it's a good reminder for us that as we were just talking about, if we are going to make a genuine apology, then there are some things that need to happen, and that's where we're going in today's broadcast.
You know, I only say one thing. If it were reversed, how would I want them to approach me? Yeah. And then I turn around and say, okay, that's how I'm going to approach them.
That's a good question to ask ourselves before you go and apologize. But right now we're going to go to Genesis chapter 50 as we continue a message. When I'm sorry isn't enough, here is Pastor Ford.
Not just the catalyst for their acknowledgement notice the comprehensiveness of their acknowledgement. They use three words. They said, we trespass against him. We sinned against him. The evil that we done. They use three different words for doing somebody wrong trespass, stepping across boundaries that I shouldn't have crossed sins. That's omission, commission and disposition. And then evil. If it were New Testament, guess what word it would be? Say
what word? Porn. Ross say porn. Ross what word is that for evil of the words in the New Testament for evil porn, Ross means pernicious evil. No, no, no. What do you mean? What do you mean evil is evil? I'm content to just do myself. But porn, Ross, evil is evil that infects somebody else. And so they're saying, we know that the evil we did for him affected him and infected us. And remember, we saw he. He acknowledged it. You meant it for evil. You meant it
for pervasive evil. But God meant it for good. I like what Peter Marshall said. Peter Marshall said, Lord, when I'm wrong, help me to admit it. When I'm right, make me easy to live with. Ain't that a good quote? That's a good quote. Notice he says. He says all the evil we did. The word did is Gamal. And guess what Gamal means? Succession. Now get this. Here's what Gamal using the word Gamal. They could have used another word. Why are you so excited about that word? Because here's
what they're saying. All the evil we did. Come on, guess what it means that they understood the implication of the consequences of putting him in the pit. That if we hadn't put him in the pit, he never would have went and been a slave in Potiphar's. In other words, all. And remember, it was no picnic. Okay, let me let me just show you. Let me just show you. I know I gave you the scripture, but I want to read it. I didn't read it. I just last time I just gave you the scripture, but I want to
read it. I want to show you what the Bible says, that it wasn't no picnic. We always read it and I say it ad infinitum, ad nauseam. He went to the pit. He went to the Potiphar's house. He went to the prison. Then he went to the palace. But they're saying, you know, all this stuff that happened to him that was evil. That's because of what we did. Now, you need to understand that there are some people that we have violated that we need to go and say,
Will you forgive me, please? Because they are suffering consequences from what we did. There are people who have been abused and misused and confused as children that are suffering for it as adults because of what some adult did, maybe a family member, and they still suffering from that can't have a good relationship in their marriage because of what happened to them when they were children. And here's what you find. Did you know that a lot of men that beat their wives grew up in families where
their mother was beaten? And one of the things that they said is, when I get married, I'll never beat my wife and then end up being just like their daddy. Boy, I tell you, I tell you a dangerous woman to marry brothers. One who grew up with a lot of sisters and a mother. No, father. Now, there's an exception to every rule. Because some of you did, I. Well, I ain't like that. And mama said there ain't no man good enough. Look at your daddy. Had all seven of y'all ain't do nothing. But I did it. I
take care of God. Me and God. We don't need no man. And you go in there marriage with an attitude. I don't need no man. Guess what? And pretty soon you won't have a man. Amen. Because ain't no man, no real biblical man going to settle for you. Running everything. Man has to have his rightful place, even if you are more astute or better. And I know women I
could call names, some of them in this room. You know, I live with a woman who's more, who has more wisdom than I have, but never lords it over me, always gives me suggestions. What do you think about this, darling? I know what she's doing, but I appreciate the way she's doing it. And like I told you before, if I don't listen to her, she don't say I told you so. She just looked. I told you so. Yeah. So there are women better educated than their husbands. Handle
finances better, have better mental acumen. ET cetera. ET cetera. ET cetera. But if she's a wise woman, she'll be like Abigail. She was married to a fool and made him feel like he was a king. Treated him like a Boaz when he was a bozo. And so here it is, he says. Then these three different words, he says, we overstep the bounds, we miss the mark. And we did something that was pervasive evil. Here's the second one. Secondly, approach the person that you have wronged. Now, I know
what you're saying. Isn't that the same thing? No, no. Now, it may occur at the same time, but it's not the same thing. Remember the first time they admitted it was in chapter 42? Now they're admitting it to Joseph. So when you're telling the individual, what are some of the problems? Well, they may not listen to us. They may not listen. But write this down. They may not listen to us. I got caught talking about brother Ray at the health club. I'm just telling on myself I
got caught. We were talking about him because he bragged a lot. And we were in there laughing. And, you know, he he he wanted to give somebody advice about lifting weights. And no, you ain't doing it right, you know. And so it was like we was dogging them out, man. And usually I kind of try to keep up, but I just couldn't keep my mouth shut on this one. I don't know why I thought I was filled with the spirit, but not that day. It was the spirit
of somebody else. And so we're in there talking now. Now, the thing about it is, he didn't like any of them, but we would always talk. And I said, yeah, well there's £402 self. And he walked around the corner and looked at me and for the next nine months wouldn't even speak to me. I try, I say, you know, Ray, all I can say is I got caught, man, you know? And he just he's just looking. He didn't say nothing. He just keep walking, keep walking, keep walking, keep walking.
You know, it's like. It's like finally I said, you want to keep me in bondage, right? You're a Christian. I'm a Christian. I'm. I'm acknowledging I was wrong. I'm asking you to forgive me. You won't even say anything, man. And he wouldn't say anything. So I said, okay, Lord. Well, I know I was wrong and you didn't stop me. I need to keep my mouth shut. Stay out of this mess that's up in here, you know. No matter how juicy it is, don't be doing this. You know,
because it was juicy, you know, because it's like. It's really funny. If you see a £402 man telling a £140 man, he doing something wrong. So it was funny to me, you know. And so anyway, and I would tell you the rest of the story, but I ain't got time, you know, because God worked it out where he needed me for something. I come out of the club and he's standing there with his hood up. His car had stopped and everybody was walking around and said, you got any cables? And I know some of them
guys had cables, but they didn't like him. And so I went to my car. I said, hey, brother Ray, you need some help? He ain't say anything. I went to my car, got my jumper cables, pulled my car up in front of his, put some jumper cables up and gave him a jump. First words he said to me in nine months. Thank you. Yeah. Then we started talking. And then I didn't try to cover it up. I didn't try to, you know. Yeah, well, you know, you know. No,
I just said, you know what? I was wrong. I got in that conversation, and I knew I shouldn't have been talking about you. And I, thank God, had me get caught by you. Just so that for these nine months, I've been soul searching. And I'm telling you the truth. It has caused me to keep my mouth out of stuff because I have a sarcasm about me. I just like to, you know? Anyway. Anyway. But anyway, so we reconcile.
Pastor Ford, get a little personal there on our message when I'm sorry isn't enough. And I think a lot of us can relate. Maybe not to that exact situation, but something very similar. So I hope that today's teaching is encouraging to you, and you may want to go back and listen to it again. You can do that by coming to our website. It's Treasure treasured truth. radio.org. You can download MP3's for free. You can also stream the program through your computer or mobile device, or even
order copies of this broadcast on CD. Again, come to treasure Truth radio.org. Again, here's Pastor Ford.
So then we say, okay, no, I don't want to approach the person. They may not listen. Number two, to avoid further conflict, but you have to you have to understand that as you're trying to resolve this, it's going to be some further emotional trauma. I wouldn't call it conflict. You're trying to resolve something between two people. That's not going to be a tiptoe through the tulips. Number three. Number three, they may tell us they don't forgive us.
And many of us have happened that before. I just shared that story. Number four, they may use it as leverage later on. I'll never forget. I apologize to the whole church about something. About a year later, me and this one brother, you know, had our little disagreement. You know what that brother said to me? Don't forget, this ain't even your forte. A year ago, you told us and had to apologize. I said, let me tell you something. Have you grown in a year? Has anything about you
gotten better? A whole lot. So you trying to say ain't nothing got better about me? Just because I used to have that problem doesn't mean I still have that problem. Isn't it amazing how people will never let you change from how you used to be? Yeah, and that's why I see you got to cut some people loose. Let me tell you why. Because they always trying to drag you into your past history instead of trying to push you in your future destiny. Leave them alone. So that's
what they do. So. So then what does Scripture say? Uh, Matthew chapter 523 and 24, Matthew 1815 through 19. What do they say? Go to your brother. Go to your sister. Why? Because you need to understand. God wants to minimize. We talked about this before in a Sunday. The impact of the offense. Resolve it at its primary level. Get it done. Here's number three. Number three. Attitude must be one of humility. They approached him in humility. They did it with two
ways their words and their ways. Here's the quote. Humility is not thinking less of yourself. It is thinking of yourself less. Let me say that again. Uh, anonymous said humility is not thinking less of yourself. It is thinking of yourself less. So what happens? Listen to what they say to him. They say to him, we beg of thee. Wow. Wow. That's amazing to me. They're humbling themselves before him. Now, I know what you're saying. Their motivation. I ain't talking
about motivation right now. I'm just talking about the principles. God will get him right in their motivation. The reason why we've already said that the barrier was removed. They thought that the only reason Joseph wasn't making them pay is because daddy was alive. And Joseph know how daddy feel about all his boys, and not just him and Benjamin. And so they're thinking he ain't going to do nothing. But when dad dies, they was back on their way. They they had gone to a leak. They had went
over over to. I was getting ready to say Burr Oak, but I know they didn't go there. And they came back and in the limousine, man. And Joseph was in the big one. Him and Benjamin was up in front in that big, long, extended one. And they was back in that little short one. And they said, man, dad's dead man. We better get this right now with him, man, because, oh, man, we gotta go in there. We produce some pleading, bro. You hear me? But what's my point? They did it.
They went in humility and they said, listen to this. Thus you shall say to Joseph, I beg you, please forgive the trespass of your brothers and their sin and the evil they. Now please forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of your father. And Joseph wept when they spake to him. Now notice what they do. Man, this is good stuff, because I'm going on two bases. Human father. Heavenly father, forgive me on the basis of our human father and our heavenly Father. That's good stuff.
That's it. So, yeah.
We pray thee. It's like saying please. Verse 18 says they fell down before his face. I ain't telling you to do that. I ain't say grovel. Lose your dignity. Ain't nobody saying nothing like that. People generally judge the seriousness of your asking forgiveness in the way your words come from your mouth, the way your body is. Uh, well, no, I just want you to forgive me, because, you know, I wasn't intending to, but, you know, you took offense
at it. And so, you know, will you please forgive me? No. Now. Don't try to pacify. Jesus on the cross. Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. So he appeals. Number four appeal on the basis of relationship and then heavenly level, human level. Here's the last one. We're going to have to finish it. Acts of restitution must be rendered. You say what's there? Restitution. Here's what they offer him. Submission and service. Why? Because of who he is now.
In other words, there needs to be restitution. Listen, if restitution can be made, then you need to make restitution. If it was something that I took, for example, I need to replace it. You know, in the Scripture it says if you stole a man's cow, you bring back four for the one. Now, I know what you're saying. What was done to me? There can be no restitution. Yes,
there can, because we have to realize this. Remember when I said about restoration and why it takes so long, what it takes to restore the relationship, and that John Marks relationship with Paul was done at the end of his life, he called for him and said, Bring John Mark for his prophet. How many years was that? A lot of years. 25, I believe it was. But they were finally restored. We looked at First Corinthians nine, and we saw that Barnabas and Saul were restored. So here's
what's at stake in the church. Our unity in our marriages and in our engagements and in our girlfriend and boyfriend ness, whatever you want to call it, you know what's at stake, the entire relationship. Because what's going on? Remember what I said? Marriage is a union of two forgivers. And so what needs to take place? What needs to transpire? I must always make sure that I comprehend in my relationship with my quote unquote, significant other. My boo, my fiance,
my wife or husband. Because the quality of our relationship depends on my comprehension of how important something is to somebody else, especially when I don't see it. So in the church is unity and your other relationship it's quality. All of it has to do with what Jesus said our charity, our love one or another. Corrie ten boom. Some of you read her story. She hid Jews during the Holocaust and she was Dutch. One of the guards that was at the place where she was in prison
became a believer. She gave a speech and he came up and she recognized him. He held out his hand. Miss ten boom. I don't remember you, but I. I was a guard there, a there. German guard at the prison. And I'm a Christian now. And she looked at his hand and she walked away, and she said, I walked away. I could not shake that man's hand. I could not shake that man's hand, she said. All that night God just flashed in her mind again. Forgive us our debts
as we forgive our debtors. I close with something I already said in the first message. I like the translation of the little girl. When her Sunday school teacher asked her to quote that verse, she said, Jesus said, forgive us our trash as we forgive those who trash basket against us. Amen.
Amen. Yeah. Cute but true. You're listening to treasure Truth. And a message called When I'm Sorry isn't Enough. And maybe, as you've been listening to today's broadcast and the previous in the short series, you realized what I want to listen to this again. You can always come to our website. It's Treasure Truth radio.org. There you can download MP3's. You can stream the program through your computer or mobile device or order copies of this broadcast on CD. Again, just
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