Forgiveness is a dialogue and sorry is a monologue. In other words, I'm sorry. There's nothing else to say about this thing, but forgive me. Now I've included you, and now it's going to take a dialogue for us to deal with what the issue is.
You're listening to Treasure Truth with pastor and author James Ford Jr. Senior pastor of the Christ Bible Church in Chicago. I'm Steve Hillard. Glad you're with us today. We're going to double back to a topic of forgiveness. If you're a regular listener of this program, you might remember a couple of months ago we had a series on Joseph, and we got into the topic of forgiveness. And today, pastor kind of boomeranging back to Genesis 50 and dealing
with this topic of forgiveness. You said that it's far better to say, forgive me than I'm sorry. Why is that?
Well, basically, because I'm sorry. Isn't that biblical? Okay.
Forgiveness isn't saying I'm sorry.
Emotion.
Okay.
Forgiveness is more volitional. Forgiveness is a dialogue. Sorry is a monologue. What do you say after sorry. Yeah. You know, there's nothing to be said. But if you said, forgive me now you've integrated that person into the dialogue. You see, you know. And the reason we come back to this theme, it's one of the hardest things for any believer to do. As a matter of fact, I'm going to go on record as saying there are some things that people do to us that's impossible for us to forgive. So then
how do we forgive? Well, just like anything else, we need to understand that the power to perform is in the precept pontificated say, huh? What did you just say?
A lot of big words.
Peter says, Lord, if that's you, let me play. So, you know, he's saying, you name it, I'll claim it. Jesus says, Come, Peter, who did not have the power to walk on water, walked on water by the power of one word from Jesus Christ. Yeah. In other words, what I'm trying to say is this it is his
word that comes. The Bible is called a seed. Seed has power to germinate within itself, so that when I want to walk in obedience to God, the things that are impossible for me are possible with him, because I use my faith to activate. So I don't know how many times I've said, Lord, I just don't have the capacity to forgive for this. But you told me in Ephesians chapter four verse 32, you said, forgive one another, even as God, for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Now
I need you to activate that in my life. Empower me to forgive.
And that's a process that depending on what that wound is, you may need to go through time and time and time again.
Of course. Well, here's what you realize. Forgiveness is volitional. Healing is emotional. So forgiveness is punctilio. What does that mean? Point in time, I make a decision. But the healing process is ongoing. And so I may have forgiven you. Maybe I just haven't been totally healed emotionally. Even when I've forgiven you. Volitionally.
Well, that's part of what we're going to be looking at in today's broadcast. If you can join us in the book of Genesis, we're in chapter 50 as we begin a message that's entitled When I'm Sorry Isn't Enough. Here is Pastor Ford.
Jesus Christ's first words, father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. And we said he is the model for us. Why? Because He is God in the flesh who died and was buried and rose again the third day according to the scriptures. And so Jesus died so that we could get to heaven. And Jesus lives to get heaven in us, because quite frankly, there's too much hell in too many now, not at this service,
but at that early service. There's some folk that are believers that got too much of that other person in them, rather than Jesus Christ. Nobody in here. Uh, so how do we deal with this? Because often we don't want to do things God's way. I mean, he's a God of order. And do you know that people get upset about rules and regulations when they are guiding you and guarding you and gracing you and growing you? That you know, the difference between a river and a swamp is that
a river has Boundaries and a swamp does not. So now. Now, here's the last thing we covered when we said this is what we do. If we want to see the divine model, we see the Lord Jesus Christ. But come on, let's get real. I mean, He's God in the flesh. He could do it. You know, uh, I do have God in me, but I just don't have enough of him. Well, then we have the human example is Joseph. Let's walk through, because the the dominant theme of the text is really
how to forgive people like Jesus. And so we said that Joseph teaches us how to forgive. What's the first thing he did? He released them from their guilt. Now, see, when we've done something against somebody, we ought to feel guilty. But long after we have been forgiven. The devil likes to use guilt so that we don't forgive ourselves. And so Joseph released them from their guilt. We ain't got time to go over everything because I want to make
sure I finish everything tonight. Pray for a brother. Then secondly, he refused to get even. Who is he now? He's big baller, shot caller. He's the one that's in charge. He got the. He has Pharaoh's signet ring. Do you know what that means? That. That he can sign some things. And it's seen as if Pharaoh did it. Same power, even though he's second in command and I. It's not on my notes. But I tell you what's hard to find in a church, a good second. Everybody want to
be first, a good second. And you look at, you look at, look at some of the greatest seconds in the Bible, Joseph a great second. And remember, it was his destiny to be second. And then who was another one? Tell me another one, Daniel. Joshua. You know, and so let me just say it. I don't know why, because it ain't even on my notes. I didn't intend to say it, but you can't be over who you're supposed to be over until you get under who you're supposed to be under. If you ain't fit, if you don't
know how to follow, you aren't fit to lead. I know you heard it before. I just need to remind you. Amen. Amen. Follow your leader. They're taking directions as God is leading them. Amen. I'm talking about the other leaders. Because I ain't worried about you following me. Because I'm gonna knock you out if you don't. Just kidding. Just kidding, just kidding. Yeah. And so he refused to get even. He could have, but he didn't. Third thing he did, he reminded them
of God's sovereignty in their life. You meant it for evil. God meant it for good. You always have to have on the glasses. That gives you God's perspective, and that is with the Word of God. The trouble I'm going through is for the future. I'm going to that I always have to remember that God is sovereign and that it's either God authorized or God allowed. Which means then I'm going to benefit from this or oh, I'm in pain.
I don't like this, but I'm going to grow from this because if I go in it with the mentality of what are you trying to teach me, God, what are you trying to show me? How are you trying to grow me? And if it's nothing else, because some of y'all know what I'm talking about. There's people who did things to you before you got saved, and people did it after you got saved. If they didn't met you before you got saved, you'd have slapped the black off of them. You discussed them until their ears bleed.
Now you just say, well, praise the Lord. God is good and vengeance is mine. I will repay, saith the Lord. Uh, number four, he reaffirmed his care for them. You have to look in the text. you'll find it. He reaffirmed his care for them. Then number five, he restored his relationship with them. Now remember our message out of acts 15 and we talked about what you lose when you don't forgive. And we looked at Paul and Barnabas and their separation and all those things. You got to get
the tape on it. I ain't got time to go back on that. And then lastly, we saw he refused to dwell upon their past offenses. If they hadn't have brought it up, it would have never came up, because Joseph wasn't that kind of believer in Yahweh. We don't always let somebody know you hurt me before. Oh, I remember, I remember. Mhm. Just like it was yesterday. Mhm. Get me once it's on you get me twice. It's on me. Mm mm. And so we want to move on and we want to talk about when I'm sorry is not
good enough. Let's pray. Father, we thank you. And we ask that you'll teach us what Joseph's brothers teach us how to get forgiveness. Amen. There was a woman with 14 children, ages one through 14, and she went to the judge. She said, I want to sue my husband for divorce. He said, on what grounds? She said desertion. Judge said, wait a minute. Desertion? How long ago did he desert you? She said 14 years ago. She said, wait a minute, wait a minute. You came in here
with 14 children. He deserted you 14 years ago. How did you get the 14 children? She said, well, every year he come back and say he was sorry. See, in that case, saying sorry wasn't good enough.
You're listening to Treasure Truth, and that is the title of this message. When sorry isn't enough. Really. Look at Genesis chapter 50 today, and we're going to get back to this teaching from Pastor Ford in just one moment. Hey, if his teaching has ever helped you with something specific in your life, like maybe your marriage, your finances, or salvation,
would you let us know your story? You can visit the contact page of our website and let us know how the Lord has used this program to bless your life. Just come to our website. It's Treasure Truth radio.org. Another way to give us some feedback is through social media. When you stop by the website and go to the Stay Connected bar, you'll find links there to our Facebook page, our Twitter feed, and a link that will allow you to download the Moody Radio app. Again, just come to
Treasure Truth radio.org and look for Stay Connected. Let's get back to the message again. Here's Pastor Ford.
One of the most humbling and one of the most heartbreaking experiences I've ever had in counseling is talking to battered women. Now, I can't do a dissertation of it, but I mention it because I heard these two words more than anything. When I say, why do you subject yourself to that? Now, there's all kinds of reasons. There's financial reasons, there's children involved, there's all these kind of things.
But I say when it first happened, when it first happened, and you should have been prepared for it because physical abuse is never first. It's always emotional, social, financial, etc.. So that should have told you it was on the way. And I say when it first happened, why didn't you saturate the place with your absence? Why didn't you get up out of there? Because the next day he brought me flowers and he said, I'm sorry. I heard that so often. I started crying before I even hear the words.
He said he was sorry. And many of us, uh, if we understand the Bible, we know that sorry isn't good enough. What's the difference? Let me give you as much as I can. A distinction because sometimes we use them and give them the same meaning. Sometimes we use them in tandem. I'm sorry. Forgive me, but technically, can we get technical for a minute? Technically, let me tell you what's going on. When you say I'm sorry, it has to do with human emotion. When you say please
forgive me. It has to do with volition. When you say I'm sorry, you make it personal. It's isolated just to you. I'm sorry. But when you say, please forgive me, you have now included that person that fills the offense in it and now you have set up. There has to be some kind of dialogue because forgiveness is a dialogue and sorry is a monologue. In other words, I'm sorry. There's nothing else to say about this thing, but forgive me.
Now I've included you and now it's going to take a dialogue for us to deal with what the issue is. And so I'm sorry it's emotional all about you. But forgive me is volitional all about us. So then when you say please forgive me, you are taking responsibility for the action. Non-action or trans action. Let me say that again. When you say forgive me, you are taking responsibility for the action or non-action or trans action that caused an offense. Now,
keep in mind, because I know what you're thinking. I'm reading your mind. Remember what I said to you a couple of times already? Why is it when someone does something to us, we focus on their actions, but when we do something to somebody else, we focus on our intentions. So that when somebody says when we say to somebody, you know you hurt me. Well, I didn't mean to. You hurt me. Don't tell me you didn't mean to. It hurt. But when somebody says you hurt me, it
wasn't intentional. Oh, that's supposed to be okay. When it's with me. And so. No. No. See? I'm sorry. And may even deal with intention. But please forgive me. Says something I did, whether right or wrong, offended you. I need to get that cleared up. I may not see it the way you see it, because we don't all see things the same way. What's important to you may not be important to me, but because it's important to you, if I violate it, I've offended you. And so I
need to ask for forgiveness. So sorry is a monologue. Forgiveness necessitates a dialogue. Now, now, let me give you this quote. I forgot to write down his name because I was just writing it so fast. But it's a quote. I didn't say this. It's a quote, but I love it. It summarizes what I just told you. Quote. When you say forgive me, you acknowledge that what you did was wrong and you regret it. But sorry is a casual way of saying what you did was not intentional. Example.
I'm texting and walking and bump into you. Sorry. My bad. In other words, it wasn't intentional. Don't get all upset about this. It wasn't nothing important. But if I stole your smartphone and you caught me and I said, please forgive me, then what I'm saying is, what I did was intentional. What I did was purposeful. And that's what forgiveness is all about. And remember what the word forgiveness means. What does it mean? Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. And so then that cross over there
is filled with offenses that people did against us. I read them all. I read them all. There are over altogether 600 of those little notes. Do you know how many people asked for power to ask somebody to forgive them what they did to them? Two people. You mean to tell me in a congregation with 600 sticky notes on it, about $800 together, if you could get them all there on one Sunday, which will never happen. Only two people have ever offended somebody, I guess, like me
and you. Everybody else ain't never offended anybody. But listen, just like you need to forgive people, you going to need somebody to forgive you. And that's why Jesus said, when you pray, pray, father, forgive our trespasses as as is a simile, like an as in proportion to, in direct relationship to. In other words, if I don't learn how to forgive people, Lord, don't you forgive me? And that's the one we're going to talk about next week, Micah seven, where God says what he did with our
sins and how he forgave us. And so what did these brothers do now? Look at Genesis. Genesis 50. Let me read, beginning at verse 14. And after he had buried his father, Joseph returned to Egypt, he and his brothers and all who went up with him to bury his fathers. When Joseph's brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, Perhaps Joseph will hate us, and may actually repay us for all the evil we did to him. Now get this, get this now here's the first step. Uh,
it is deep. This deep. Don't miss this. Here's the catalyst for acknowledging. So what's the first step? Acknowledge that you wronged the person. Acknowledge that you wronged the person. Now. Now, what's the catalyst for acknowledge the the person. Why is this? Some people won't ask for forgiveness. Now remember, think about this. The first step in acknowledgment took them. How many years? Anybody remember? Holler it out. Right. 17 years. So then
they put them in the pit at 17. And then he's 34 sitting in power second in Pharaoh's court, which of course, Egypt was a world power, which means he's the second, not just in Egypt in all the world. Look at that. Just let me throw that out to some of you who've been dogged out and hated. Maybe God will use their hater ration for your elevation. That's what he did for Joseph. And so here. Now what happened? 17 years to admit to each other. Write it down.
I don't have time to go through it. Genesis 4213 through 24. And in verse 21, after, after Joseph begins to try to test them, to see if the relationship can be restored. Because remember, it only takes one to forgive, but it takes two to restore the relationship. Let me say it again. It only takes one to forgive. It takes two to restore the relationship. What do you mean by that, Pastor Ford? Once you've been forgiven, people say, well, you know, we ain't going to never be the same. Well,
that's not true. Biblical forgiveness. Can I get an amen? Deacon Thomas, am I right about it? True biblical forgiveness is what God did for us. He didn't say, okay, now I'm going to forgive your sin, but I ain't going to have nothing to do with you no more. No, he got more to do with us after he forgives us of our sins than he did before he forgave us of our sins. And so, no, I don't want to hear that. And even preachers say it, you know. Well,
it doesn't mean you're going to be restored. Relationship. I don't want to hear that. That ain't biblical. Restoration is always the goal. And so then what do you. What do you mean, Pastor Ford? That is if if you forgive me. And unlike Joseph's brothers, I don't do what I'm supposed to do to get forgiveness. You're straight and I'm not. And there will be no restoration of the relationship until I have the biblical response to the act
of forgiveness. Everybody's been forgiven their sin. Amen. Then did Jesus die for everybody? Then how come everybody ain't saved? Because everybody doesn't accept it. That's why. So a pardon is not a pardon unless you accept it. And if I accept it, it means there are elements of things I must do well when he forgives you. Is it a work? No. The Bible tells me. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And that is a gift of God, not a result of works, lest any
man should boast. In other words, now what I have to do put faith in the forgiveness that's based on the finished work of Jesus Christ on Calvary.
You're listening to Treasure Truth with Pastor Ford. A message called When I'm Sorry Isn't Enough. Really? Look at Genesis chapter 50 and Joseph and his brothers, and we're going to continue this message on our next broadcast. But if you want to make sure that you're not missing Pastor Ford's teaching each day, you can always come to our website and listen online. Simply stop by Treasure Truth radio.org. There you can stream programs, download mp3's, or order copies
of this broadcast on CD. Another way to listen. Go ahead and sign up to begin podcasting. The program really makes it convenient for you then to be able to listen whenever it fits your schedule. Just come to our website. It's Treasure Truth radio.org. They want to remind you that this is a listener supported ministry, and that is exactly what it sounds like. We depend not just on your
prayer support, but also your financial support. It really is your giving that allows us to meet production costs, air time and everything that it takes to keep this ministry going. So if you're benefiting from Pastor Ford's teaching, not only would we be encouraged to hear about that, but I want to ask you to give a gift to support. Come to our website. It's Treasure Truth radio.org. And there you can click on Make a donation. We do need
single one time gifts and ongoing monthly gifts. Again come to Treasure Truth radio.org and click on make a donation. Well, for our Bible teacher, Pastor James Ford Jr and our producers Amy Rios and Ryan McConaughey, I'm Steve Hiller. Thanks for listening. Treasure truth is a production of Moody Radio, a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.