NBA Playoffs - Emergency Pod

like an NBA draft pick. And now some people right now we go, I don't care about the NBA. Good turn this off. It's not for you. Nobody watches basketball. Fuck you, everyone watches basketball. You don't watch basketball. I care about basketball. We're gonna talk about basketball. And if you haven't been watching this year's playoffs, you've missed out all right. Well, by the way, gratulations to Dallas on winning the first RIG pick of the draft. Oh my goodness,

you know who is that? GM is like, Oh, thank god, we can draft another white superstar to lead the Mavericks for the next twenty years or six years. And then fucking trade him to La when the barbecue here in

Dallas gets them all fat and doe. I can't believe they want but I do want to point out as a Miami Heat fan that had they not they were the ten seed and got their way into the playoffs through the stupid playing games to only get blown out by seventy each night in Cleveland, they would have had that same probability the eleventh seed and that would have been their first pick. But I'm sure pat Riley saw that and realized that's not what we want to do. By the way, I don't know what you watch ed

the games on your YouTube TV? Right? Yeah? Okay? When it asked me do you want to watch it on tn T or True TV, I'm like, what, Who in the fuck is picking True TV? The only people watching the playoffs on True TV or the impractical Jokers? True TV is the first option. I scroll past it every single time. I don't know they're different announcers. Do they slime you? Another thing that's really annoying me. Now, I'm

glad that we have replay. Of course it should go faster, but knock it off with the players after every single foul coach, child, I didn't touch them. Shut the fuck up. You're a role player. It's the beginning of the first quarter. Nobody's challenging this play. Get back on defense. No one cares if you foul out. I didn't touch the ball last Okay, calm down, we'll review it if the play is important. If I was a coach and one of my players did this, I would be like, Okay, we

have to bench you because you're dumb. You think we don't understand. We have one job over here. It's to call timeouts and bucking review a few plays. All right, let's talk about Cleveland. Now, leave it to Cleveland, the most Cleveland thing in the world. Win games when they don't matter, and then shit the bed when it does. You know, you did the best regular season in franchise history.

Go ahead and shove that up your depressing ass. By the way, when people talk about like Detroit being depressed, I'm like, are you kidding me? And I know it's oh it's almost hack talking about how awful Cleveland is. But you tell me, oh, you can live in Gaza or Cleveland. I'm picking Gaza every time. Speaking of depressing, poor Boston, hate him or really hate him. You know, watching Tatum go down, I was just hoping. I was like, oh, please be another Paul Pierce shit in his pants scenario.

There's carting you off because there's just shit everywhere. But no, no, he's done. I have a theory that he wanted to leave and not be seen in that series because he was the only good looking fella. If you look at both those teams, man, are they ugly top the bottom. I'm not talking about their play. Their play is great, but physically, man, they are all ugly. Karl Anthony Towns his posture just walking around. His neck comes out the front of his torso Jalen Brown's his eyes are too

close together. That seems weird. Thibodeau his You know, you don't go after another man's hair when you yourself are balding. Well, you know I did something about mine early on when it started a thin. I can't imagine if I had four hairs left, Like I'm gonna hang on to him

and slick them back. That's so weird, especially when you're a basketball coach where every angle that you're shot at is from above, Like, can't he doesn't he watch some game tape and see himself occasionally go oh, that looks horrible. I should buzz my head. What about Jalen Brunson. I mean, mister Clutch physically looks like he should work security at the farmer's market. I've never once seen him crack a smile,

just constant. I'm like, bro, you're you're making millions and millions of dollars, You're in New York City and you're the best player. Smile. Nope, guy's got no soul whatsoever. Who are the other ugly people in that series physically? I'm just talking about physical appearances. I'm just cutting men apart. Derek White, men being cruel to men. Derek White, that's an odd look. Oh uh, I don't know what's wrong with him. That lineage line looks like it's a little overlapping.

Peyton Pritchard, Oh man, how neat to be sitting in section three point fifty and get your name called? You're playing what? I'll just live here and all right here I go. I mean, if you were to tell me that he is a world class athlete, I would think, no, not this guy. By the way, porzingis rarely can you be you know a lot? Via seven foot whatever and and be not the ugly duckling somehow he like looks like, oh he looks. Okay. That just shows you what kind

of monsters that you're surrounded by. And they show the celebrities and they're ugly, even in New York supposed to be supposed to be a glamorous city. I'm just looking at all these old Knicks players. I'm looking at uh, Spike Lee, Tracy Morgan's on on the court side seat, just vomiting. What is happening. I mean, come on, let's get some sex appeal in there. Guys, that's what you do with your draft pick. You've you've clearly got a team that can play. Let's get some hunks on the court.

Oh ah, I mean, I know I'm a homer, but I long for a Dan Marley. Remember how good looking he was. Oh my goodness, this is a nice tan on the court looking cool. Yeah. Well, anyway, sorry to Boston, Uh, but you know you won it all last year. Nobody feels good. I tell you, this generation of people in Boston, you know who are are what you might call it, guy, our buddy, our teamster president said it best. Is this generation of kids in Boston that grew up with nothing

but winners. They have no idea how bad their parents had it. Minnesota Golden State. This is tough to watch. What's the over under on if Draymond takes someone's life. This is why we got Jimmy Butler for moments like they said this. They said this constantly when they were winning meaningless games at the end of the season. I mean they weren't meaningless to them, but they weren't tough games. This is why we got Jimmy Butler. And I'm like, guys,

wait till he starts missing at the rim. It's so annoying. It's constant. I've watched it every play. Oh, he'll just miss buckets so close. No, not playoff, Jimmy, playoff Jimmy. Is he helping? You know? They're not saying it now. They're not saying this is why we brought him here. Now that the it's like, oh, well, you kind of need Steph. I meant injuries happen, of course, but you beat the Warriors without Steph, We're gonna put an asterisk

next to it. That's like saying, you know, in the nineties, oh we beat the bulls, you beat the Bulls with Jordan No, no, you know that that year and a half period where he was playing t ball because his dad's gambling problem. Oh well, it's not really beating the Bulls then, is it. My point is, you're not beating the Warriors if if Steph played every game and finally,

the OKAC Denver, Oh, the Nuggets. My favorite thing to watch at an OKAC game when they're playing at home is if the team starts out cold and watching the fans get winded having to stand until their team makes the first bucket of the night and they can all sit down. It's actually nice that that team gives out T shirts to everyone, because Lord knows their fashion sense in Oklahoma, Oklahoma might be the only place where people are buying tickets to the game so that they get

the T shirt. I'm actually positive a lot of the people show up without a shirt on. They're like, oh, well, we get a shirt when we get there. You know why they never do those give outs in La at a Lakers game because Laker fans aren't gonna put on a gross T shirt. No one's gonna, oh you want me to put this thick BFT over my outfit? No, it's not gonna happen. That's that's cute. I'll give it to my gardener. I'll let them wash the car with it. God help us if Denver makes it to the finals again.

I know Djokich is an amazing talent. Great, he's unwatchable. Djokich might be the least entertaining athlete to watch in the history of athletes. It's like if you planted a tree in the middle of the court and waited for it to grow, and they're like, well, why don't we give that tree fifty one million dollars a year. I don't even know if he understands that he's getting paid that much money, like you probably don't have to pay him.

Maybe thinks these are pickup games and just tons of people come to watch because it's the us of a Eddie. Who you think is gonna win Larry O'Brien Trophy? And I'll give you a million dollars if you can tell me who the fuck Larry O'Brien is. No, I don't even know. I don't get the connection. Oh geez, all right, I have no idea I have I've never I've never wanted to know. Well, lucky for US. We only have four more weeks of NBA playoffs. At least it's entertaining.

We got four more weeks and then just MLB and w n B A and I'm sure I think the Pickleball Tour picks back up. All right, give me the siren? Where where shot clock? Okay,