My TV Stylist - Carrie Cramer

How you doing, Carrie?

Is are we on?

Yeah, we're on.

We're live being broadcast to billions of people. Oh man, we were really.

Scraping the bottom of the barrel with this guest.

Tashhaw Tosh Tosh Show Show. Welcome to Tosh Show, the number fifteen podcast in the world, depending on when you check the charts.

How you doing, Eddie?

I'm doing good? How are you?

I'm a little nervous because I know what today is.

Today is the day that I get feedback from all the people that leave me comments. And the first time we did this it was overwhelmingly positive. And I heard the tide has changed.

It's yeah, it's shifted a bit.

Okay, bring it all right here we go.

Should have named the pod Toshing Salad.

You know what, it's a great idea.

The problem is we've already embroidered one thousand fleece vests with Toss Show, so it's too late.

I think it'd be cool to bring on some memorable guests from Tosh point zero, like Fanny. I'd also love to see an interview with your wife or.

Now in a perfect world, that would be one interview. I have asked my wife if she would be on the show, and she's reluctant to do it because she won't agree to my terms. And that's that I get to ask her any questions I want, especially about all her alt right friends and their marriages.

She's very nervous about that.

For someone who talks about abortion a lot, it is wild how he has a child.

Oh Eddie hit the sirens. Real dumbest comment ever. Oh yeah. See, the difference is my wife and I wanted to have a child. Now, if my wife, when she was twelve years old was raped by her uncle and she wanted to get rid of that baby, I would just hope that there were no laws in place that would stop her from doing that, and I wouldn't care if it was from conception up until crowning anything. She wants to get rid of that inbred demon seed. Do you see

The entertainment business is littered with petos, and Tash knows that he knows that, all right.

First of all, I don't know my own Twitter log in, I don't know my mailing address.

What else don't. I know.

I just discovered I have a TikTok account, So let me assure you of this. I know nothing. I said this before and people were like, oh, the pedophiles. They're not going to announce that they're pedophiles. It's the law they are supposed to They're supposed to knock on your door and say, hey, I'm a pedophile. I live nearby.

That was my whole point.

And when I said that was that I don't know any pedovihle because I don't, like you think, in a town where people just gossip constantly, I would hear it once like heyge you hear so, and so I think he's I've just never heard that. And I'm being honest. So when people say that this town is just nothing but pedophiles, I'm like, Okay, that's not true. But that's based on my experience. Maybe everyone that's a pedophiles is

Did Tosh turn super libtard? I think so time to unsub I guess.

You know my mom my mom, she thinks that I'm a closet conservative that I only pretend to be liberal for uh my work. Well, seriously, watch I'll call her.

Let's see if she answers. She probably won't. She better not pick up.

Yes, yeah, hey, this is Marga. Sorry I mister call leave a message? Snug Hello?

Why won't mom answer her phone?

Oh? She didn't have it right now?

She's where is she? Let me?

Well, she's in washing clothes right now?

Let me talk to her. Will you go give her? Give her the phone? Please, I can.

Get out of this chair. Then hold on? Oh, I guess she went to get the flag. What hold on?

You guys are so patriotic.

Oh, I don't know where she is now.

You guys live in like three hundred square feet.

It's cold here. Great. Have you spotted her?

Yeah, she's coming, she's right here.

Let me talk to her for one second, Dane, I want to talk to me.

I don't want to talk to you. Hey, what's up? Why weren't you? Where's your phone?

Oh? I went out to bring the flag in.

I got a waitte right listen, you're you're on speakerphone right now. So don't say anything awful about anybody. Uh, hey, don't you think that I'm a closet like secretly conservative, and I'm only that I only pretend to be liberal for television.

That's in my dreams, I hope best.

I don't know that that's I believe that.

Okay, Oh so you so you don't believe that.

No, No, in my closet conservative.

No.

All right, I'll call you later, love you, goodbye.

I didn't know. I thought I thought she actually believed it.

Next one up. What's the best place for us poor is to support Tosh Spotify or YouTube.

That's a great question.

I'm told you can listen to the show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. I've never checked myself. This could be a very elaborate prank being played on me, a reminder that I don't have to do this show. As a matter of fact, I don't want to do this show. The reason I'm doing this show is because I trust that God has a plan.

I have a brain tumor. Send me good vibes, Daniel.

You know that's why we do the show. To give a guy a great guy. I'm guessing he could be a piece of shit, but let's just say for the sake of argument, it's a good guy and he's got a brain tumor, so let's just send him good vibes because we don't want anyone.

To have to go through that.

No matter what your political stance is, unless it's different than mine, then you know what, I probably don't care as much, but I'm gonna send you good vibes.

This podcast is just making me realize out of touch and La Daniel Tosh's.

Calling me out of touch is not an insult. Yeah, I'm out of touch with your reality. I don't know what a gollon of milk cost. Do you know what it costs to charter a hawker nine hundred from LA to New York. Our lives are different. I've never had a real job as an adult. I didn't get into showbiz so I could have a normal life. I can be down to earth, okay, but those two things are different. Being down to earth and out of touch are very different. Do I have to live in Tulsa and manage a

Something is breaking in the comedy world where I think some people are starting to see they were the people who the jokes were on all along, but think Toash changed. It's interesting. Can we talk about how fire Tosh's outfits have been without the ongoing theme? His fits have all been ten out of ten.

That's really nice.

That's really nice, Almost as if we planned that to segue into today's guest. Because I hate picking out clothes, but I know enough about fashion to hire someone who lives for it. Now, there might be some sticker shock in this interview when Karen and I talked dollar amounts for clothing, but I want you to know that I got a different TV show to pay for it, and then I award on here first, enjoy.

Pasha.

If you've ever wondered why I dressed like an idiot or enjoyed a Christmas gift I gave you, thank our next guest because she picked it out. Please welcome my stylist. For over fifteen years, they always stressed out Carrie Hi.

All right, are you stressed out currently?

No, I'm very relaxed.

All right, Carrie, you uh, we've worked together for a long time. You're from Orange County?

Yes, huh, Yes, from Orange. I was born there. I was born there, and I moved all around and then went back there for high school.

I assume your goal was to become a desperate housewife.

That's what my I think my mom would have loved that.

But no, did you grow up rich?

I did? Then we didn't.

Oh you don't have money?

Then we didn't.

I don't.

I don't know what happens.

What's your dad do for this?

He was in commercial real estate until like the late eighties, and then it kind of all went south.

What'd your mom do?

She was just a housewife, was she?

Yeah?

And then she had to go back to work.

Where did she go to work?

Like she was a receptionist? No, she was like a receptionist. It's some engineering firm and Irvine for a little while. She had to figure it out. I mean, are you.

Proud of being from Orange County? Did you think that was a cool growing up?

No, you didn't know.

It's because I always thought of Orange County as a cool place when I was a kid in Florida, Like the OC you just hear about it.

Yes, the greatest place on earth.

I mean, I don't know. It was kind of cool. I had like a DJ boyfriend, you did, Yeah, I used to go to raves in the whole thing when I was like that age. I was in the house music. I went to high school with Heather Sweet. Who's Didavantese?

What's what's her DJ name?

I think it's Didavantese.

Is she popular or a big star or something?

Yeah, I don't know who she is.

I don't know.

I don't think, oh she's Yeah, she's like a huge burlesque star, a burlesque Yeah. But she was like during that time, she was like a very high end kind of stripper at these raves. It would be like the main one on stage or whatever.

She wasn't a DJ at all.

No, she's not the DJ. I didn't date her date. I had a boyfriend that was a DJ. He's said Jesus. Was that a hard story to follow?

I mean I don't know, all right. First question that I ask all my guests, do you believe in ghosts?

Yes?

Absolutely, ghost Absolutely. I hadn't. I had an apartment in West Hollywood and I just moved in there. And my microwave turned on.

No, I don't give a fuck.

I want to hear this story.

No, I don't want to hear this.

I don't proclaimed for them to go away. And it was fine.

Anybody that believes in ghosts I need. That's all I need to know about them.

I've never seen one. I do not want to see one.

Right, pop quiz, hot shot? What size shoe am I twelve? What's my waist?

Size thirty four? But sometimes sometimes you're a thirty six, But but I tell you to still say it's a thirty four.

You do, and then I just have to make them bigger do like some sneaky things.

Uh huh?

All right? What size? What size head do I have?

Oh? It's like seven and seven eighths?

Huh right?

Yeah, I hate your head so big, so big, so bad. I hate I hate it so much. Anytime there's a hat or a jumpsuit, it's like a very stressful.

Because I'm very long from crotch.

Yes, so I have to get you like double triple extra large, then take it in.

Yeah that's neat, that's neat that you know how to do all that Stuff's let's start with how did you become a stylist.

I went to USC for fine art and I graduated and was like, what am I going to do with this degree? Basically?

And there's much as USC costs back then.

I mean I transferred in there and I was there two and a half years.

Because you went to school there and went in the seventies.

No big, ninety, How old are you fifty? I just turned fifty, fifty years so I don't even say anything.

Are you kidding me? Not even in the ball You're.

Very close huh.

All right, yes, so you're fifty years old fifty.

I just turned fifty in May.

Wow five half a century yep. Oh some baggage, all right.

So let's go back now. You got into show business as a.

Star needed a job, and I went where I went to school. There was like film people there, and they started working on a show called Singled Out with Jenny McCarthy.

Oh I loved it. I loved Singled Out right.

So they were trying to cast me because I had really short hair, like, what are the girls on the show a contestant? No?

No, no, no, I was almost I was almost going to just reach across the table and strang.

No.

It was like one of the girls, like one of the dating things that I really don't like to be on camera, and all I get very nervous, and I said, no, I don't want to be on the show, but I want I need a job. So I got hired in the art department. That was a PA in the art department, and then I could make a lot of things, and I think people like took notice of it because I could sow and like make props and do all these things. And I I just started getting hired.

All right, What was what was the first like good job you had is like the head stylist on.

I was a show with Amad Zappa was hosting it and I can't remember or what it was called.

You don't give a shit? What about The Bachelor? Oh?

Yeah, So I did all these little shows. Then one of the producers were MTV jumped to ABC and he took me with him. So I was twenty eight and then I started working on the Bachelor.

So you was never young.

I mean that was young.

So they went to ABC and they started The Bachelor. So you're on the very beginning to the very start of it seasons one through what one, two, three, and then you were fired.

Then I was fired because I, uh, what was going on in that show though, a lot of crazy things, a lot of like I feel like there was a lot of drugs and alcohol and wife swampied and craziness happening. Like there's like the crew oh yeah, uh oh yeah, there was like crazy stuff going on, and I wasn't totally I didn't exactly partake at all. I don't think that was like looked at favorably. So I was, oh, yeah, I wasn't what you're saying. It was not playing the game.

You're right, your meat too in that whole crew.

It was so complicated because it wasn't and nothing was ever said, you know what I mean. It was just like I was supposed to hire somebody that I was asked to hire that was one of the executive's assistants, and I did, and then I didn't do a good enough job of that. I didn't know I was supposed to fire everybody and just hire this person. So I was then fired. But from that show, then I did all of the like Knockoffs, Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, I Love New York. I did all those shows, and.

Then you ran into this the guy that fired you. You ran into him years later and he apologized. I said I had a problem with Cochin.

Yeah, he totally apologized to me. He knew. He was like, I'm really sorry and sorry how I treated you.

And that's because he didn't want you to write an article about him. Maybe, baby, Who are some of the most famous people you've wardrobed.

I've dressed a lot of comedians. I've done a ton of stuff for ABC and Disney like I do it. I've been when I did The Bachelor.

Give me fucking people's name.

I'm trying to think of people's names off the I think they're all from like Theies.

Though I don't care who Paul Riser know that is Milton?

Like a bunch of Disney kids.

What Disney kid?

Like?

We did like camp Rocks. It was like Selena Gomez and what was the other one? Her friend Demie Levado, Oh Yes.

Is my favorite video of all time when people ask her what her favorite dish was in an interview and and she said, I think I like a mug.

And your favorite dish my favorite dish. I like mugs.

That's amazing, And then she tried to play it all like that's.

Not what I would totally answer something like that, like I can relate to that. That's what she was thinking in her head. Maybe she does ceramics. You never know. I did have something funny with David Hasselhoff. We did like there, you know that show, the car show everyone likes. It's very big in England and they keep trying to make it here. Yeah, what's it called top Gear? Top Gear?

But I was more like, you saw his hog.

I didn't see his hog. He wasn't trying to show me his hog. I think he was just trying to say whatever, like, you don't have to leave, you get dressed. It's like a normal thing.

You've never seen my home.

Oh, I've never seen I've never seen it.

You've never's go on record, have you ever seen my hog?

Never seen your hog?

When I started working with you, you you had you were working with doctor Phil. I was, and I when you see doctor Phil, you're like, that's who I want to look like. Whoever, who's ever dressed in this guy?

Let's hire them?

Oh that show. There's a massive budget they had on that show, more than I spent. Yes, I was getting all of his suits custom made in Italy. They were all Zenya. They would like, open up the what do you call it, the factory in Italy to make them, like because they would close down for the summer, especially for him. Because I ordered so many suits, they would come back and open them up and make his suits.

Guys, not even a real doctor? Do you like doctor Phil? Was he nice to you? No? That's fair enough. How long do you work for him?

I think five years? I think I addressed him and his wife dress his wife.

Just for the little she has sat in the audience and just waited. She did, and you put her in those clothes.

Crazy, And they're expensive, gorgeous.

And how much money you're spending on their clothes a year or a season?

Couple hundred thousand dollars a.

Couple hundred thousand a year on just their clothes.

You had a good budget. We had a good budget on your show.

How much would we spend a season?

Maybe eighty thousand, eighty.

Thousand a season.

Yeah, See, that's going to blow people's mind because the show is like you think of the show as such a cheap show, and it was relative to other shows. But yet I was still spent I need eighty thousand a season on clothes.

I mean if sometimes one hundred thousand, it depends, like season of high fashion. We are probably spending maybe sixty alone on your show wardrobe. And that doesn't include like all the webard emptins and all the costuming and every like weekly, all the things that would happen weekly.

That's not even any fun stuff that we should shoot. When we say, hey, I need to be a butterfly this afternoon.

Yeah, I would get notes at eleven am, and then I would have to come two hours later, right, show up, and then put this stuff on you, and then that'd be it. That's why it's stressed. I stress out. I can handle it, though, but barely.

You barely can handle it.

You're always like on the verge of crying or quitting.

Well, that's true.

How much did this sweater cost?

That sweater is about four hundred I think.

And how many times have I worn it on television?

Maybe one time? Oh maybe?

All right, that's pretty good. We just recycle stuff. Yeah did I How much stuff did you steal from Doctor phill and give to me.

A couple things like many you have some shoes and some ties. Most of the ties you wore literally for the entire run of the show was from that show.

And there's that was just whenever I wanted to look like an idiot.

Yes, not like cool no, no, no, no, like business suit ties. And I have a pair of like black coal hons and brown ones that I borrowed and just kept it at the show because I was doing both shows at the same time.

Sure so, And I wore the for like fifteen years.

He did the same dress. Shoes. It was fine.

Anytime I wanted to look like an idiot, Yeah.

Let's put you in a suit. I put those shoes on you nice.

What's the worst thing you ever had to do on my show?

Oh, you're in a real bad moon one time. No, it was like real bad. And there you were a clown that I did have, like proper clown shoes. I had like plastic clown shoes. You remember this, Oh, you were.

Trying to wedge my feet in. Yeah, I hurt my feet.

They were like getting cut up. And then you were like kicking me insane horrible things to me, and I literally ran offset. I don't know if anybody else remembers, and I was like fuck this, and I walked offset and walked into the office and then I started crying. You followed me.

I followed you the clown you did and you can't.

You came in if you were, you apologized, you were like, I'm sorry, I like had my limit with your feet.

That I did. I squeak my nose and squirt you with my flower.

You probably tried to.

That's not even what I thought you were going to say. There's two times I think, oh, I mean making you upset on the show.

That happened a couple of times. I always had to do with your feet for some reason.

Yeah, because you're not good at putting shoes on people, because.

It just takes so long. And in fittings, it's like you're so slow though when you try to clothes on, like time slows down. You're like putting one leg on, then the other leg in the pants and then pulling them up slowly and then talking to other people.

I wear a lot of hats when I'm working.

Oh wait, my brain's going all over the place.

This is going to be manic. How come you still don't know how to tie a tie?

I just got lazy because one of the writers would always tie it, so I was just went in his office.

I would have you quit all the other shows then just to work.

With me, pretty much, because it was so it was nice, It was so much fun. We had so much fun for so long.

What about the time that you had to There was an old guy in his balls. He's just kept falling out of the outfit that you.

Put him in.

I forgot about that, and we kept telling you to go put his balls back in Yeah, and you refuse.

I did.

He was weird like some black s and m like Vinyl outphit. He was the sweetest man, and literally his balls were like.

Dripping out of his balls are old.

And I just didn't and I didn't want to have to keep telling him to put him back in there. But you guys were like, go tell him, go tell him.

Did you seem like it's definitely in your Wheelhouse the time that we made you eat those sugar free gummy bears that like give you diarrhea, but you didn't know about it. Yeah you were, and we were just filming you eating a bunch of them, and then you went home.

Yeah. I went home and like Carly at the time, was at the table, Carl Now, who's now your wife?

Okay, that seems we shouldn't talk about that. Okay, okay, we'll cut that out. Okay. I did not marry anyone that worked at my show.

Okay. Oh well, she kept trying to give me like the eyeballs, like.

Don't Yeah, she was like, go home right now.

She was like, oh, like trying to vibe me to not do it. And I was just like, but I like clear gummy bears and I'm gonna eat these. Obviously it's probably fine. I should have known better at the time. Then I came home and then it was this awful like empty, gurgling feeling like your stomach feels big but small, And then everyone started text messaging me, checking in on me, and.

Then he said diaral night.

I did, I did, I did, And then we had some doctor coming. This is when I was single and you guys were trying to set me up with everybody. Some doctor came in to give us a flu shot.

Do you remember that we came in every year.

Yeah, well it came in like two days after that, and I started talking about that to him. But for some reason, because he was a doctor, like, and then everyone was like, if you're trying to date this guy, you shouldn't talk about that to him.

He wasn't a real doctor. He was just somebody they would give us, like free flu shots.

Yeah. Well, I didn't know back.

In the heyday when people would just give us free stuff. Whatever happened to that.

Nike actually gave you stuff an Adidas forever. And then I think when social media became like a thing, like celebrities were like tagging it and doing all that, and I.

Wouldn't participate in that part of it.

So I don't think, Yeah, I know.

Let's talk about let's talk about your dating now.

What happened the time you almost married a catfish?

Oh man, that was like the last of my horrible dating experiences. It was about it was a rough thirties for me.

You're happily married now, but I have for the majority of our relationship you're always just dating people that were just horrible people.

Yes, And actually the first time I met you, I was super nervous because you were it was some skit you were doing with salvia. Do you remember that?

Sure?

It was like the very first time I met you, I didn't know anything about you, and you kept talking about how much you liked to do salvia, and I was like, and I had just been dating someone who smoked so much weed that like it was a problem. And I was like, great, now I'm gonna have to work for this guy who's like on the salvia all the time.

But that wasn't I was just being opan stupid.

I know I do that later, But the first time I met you, I was like, oh, great.

All right, Well anyway, that's a dumb story.

But what I want to hear about is the guy that just lied to you about everything.

Yeah, he lied to me about where he went to school.

Uh huh.

He told me he was a lawyer. He told me he was a professional soccer player. He told me he was in the Olympics. He told me he owned two real van Go paintings.

And you've just never googled him.

No, At the time, I didn't nobody to check that out.

You can't check that stuff out. What kind of place did he have? His van goes in?

So we had this is he lives? No, it's so silly now, But the.

Time I was just so desperate to be in love.

I mean maybe I was. This is what twelve thirteen years thirteen years ago.

So you're forty one?

I was. No, No, I was in my late thirties I met him, But that like changed my life because I was like, what how did I fall into that? I think I was just like this guy looks great on paper, and all my friends are married and everybody's having babies, and like, you know, he seems like exceptional. And I think I was like going down this path of like this seems like a good partner to other people.

To me, Well, lesson learned.

You're as successful a woman a lot of ventures. You make up pottery with your feet, nog my hands.

Are you still making potter? Are you selling it to the general public?

I am? I am?

I mean.

Yeah, I have a dish of yours in my place in Tahoe, Yes, And it is just every time I look at it, I'm just like, this is horrific.

I know that's what you think, but it also makes me laugh because you couldn't fed ice, couldn't deliver like any other packages for some reason, and you got that that I was like secretly thought that was very funny.

Speaking of Tahoe.

One time you came to my house in Tahoe with a guy and all you did was you guys just stayed in a room for the higher time you were there and just were I guess you were just having sex or sleeping or whatever, but you were just you never came out of your room.

I had.

They were guests in my home, and they were just in my house for like three or four days and I never saw you.

That is not this a little bit true, but not one hundred percent true. I did. I brought him with me because everybody was like a couple there and I was dating this guy at the time, and.

I was, look, I got, I got a guy.

I would literally said to him, do you want to come with me on this trip? And then he said to me, do I need to bring towels? And that should have been like a red flag, you know what I mean, like I see knowing better And then he put like his clothes in like a trash bag, and he like stuck it in my car, and like I drove up there in my car, and like I put us at a hotel in the city for a night before we went to Tahoe, like all these red flags,

How many van goes did this guy have?

This guy didn't have any man goes?

Speaking of getting married, h I got married, and you helped purchase my wife's engagement ring.

I did.

Did I spend too much?

No, you didn't at all. We went to a couple of places and then we went to this my place. We didn't. We went to the magical place in Beverly Hills that had this There was like a secret door in an elevator. We went to this rooftop and I was like, this is where you're behind your ring and it was amazing, and I picked the stone and I was like, that's the stone.

You sold jewelry for a while. I used to sell like high end dog tags for like.

I made them.

Yeah, I made them.

I had a company.

That business failed.

I mean it didn't veil. I did it for five years. I mean it was set up so an investor could come in and either invested in or it would be sold. That's how I set up the business.

Speaking of failing with businesses, let's talk about our business that we started.

What did we start?

We started a toddler clothing line for boys for boys called Boys Wear Pink.

Boys Wear Pink dot Com. I've done everything for the reason. I started this company and I partnered with you. I was like, let's do this company. It would be a great idea because I hate clothes for my son. They all look, they're all stupid. I don't want them to wear a jeep a shirt with a Jeep on it. And it was so it was Boys Were Pink was the line.

Yep.

We launched it, and then I said, I'm going to do nothing because I'm tired of spending money. How much money you think I've spent so far?

You probably spent about thirty to forty thousand, Okay, but honestly that there's nothing to start these companies like whatever.

I still have a ton of t shirts.

There's a your house house, and there's also like it somewhere in Monterey Park. There's like boxes of this stuff too. Where oh in Monterey Park?

Are we paying for that?

No?

Okay, that's good.

No, it's just sitting there.

Well, let's hopefully be I want I just want to sell all the merchandise that we have, and then I will consider continuing it and coming out with new stuff.

So right now, I just need.

Everybody, everybody buy these T shirts.

Only if you have a two to five year old.

That's it. We all have three sizes.

Yeah, listen, I didn't want to. I didn't want to start broad. Have you ever stole from me?

No?

But shit, you're wondering.

You know how men times I got your whoever you were dating, their dry cleaning and they got my clothes.

That did happen?

Are you a chopaholic? No? Is being a personal shopper stressful?

Yes?

So you do that. You're also a personal shopper.

So whenever I have to like buy my family gifts or something that I just tell you go buy my family gifts and then you bring me back always just way too much, like like oh, I'm like, I don't they're my family. I don't like him like this, and we scale it back. Yeah, and then and everybody's like you give the best gifts and it's all because of you.

Yes, but I don't enjoy personal shopping as much as you don't. No, it's a lot of work, and there's it's all on my credit card. And it's just a lot of like lugging stuff to people's houses and sending it up and then putting it back in the car and driving away with it. Like it's you have to

In the basement guzzling water? What does that mean?

Like I'm so hot and I'm tired, and I'm not gonna do it in front of you, so I like go to another room.

See, and I gotta drink water in front of me? The fuck are you talking about?

Not like a crazy person, Like you're hot and you're tired, you know, you can't just.

Have a glass of water like a normal human.

ID. Yes, I don't.

Ye.

Like what you're doing is like like the most you're pushing tin or you're you know, landing hijacked airplane.

I'm not doing that. I'm not. I'm just lugging a bunch of clothes around that are expensive.

Talk about the goat.

Oh, yes, you work with me on my next show I did.

Did you love this show or no?

No? Why?

Well I love it? You were you were a miserable fuck on it.

I was very missed because I was already on a show.

Well, first of all, where were we shooting the show?

You're shooting in Atlanta. I was wonderful, but like outside of Atlanta, not like in like the cool part of Atlanta.

We're next to fucking Ludacris's house. That's pretty cool if you ask me.

But I was already on another show. I was already out there. It was like every time I sure where you on? I was on Lego Masters, Lego Masters.

Oh that's exciting, okay, right, anyway, so you're in Atlanta anyway?

Yes, I was already in Atlanta.

And so you're double dipping. Yes, you're getting paid twice the money. Yes, while you're already here in Atlanta. Seemed like a dream gig.

You would think so. But it was pretty stressful because the other show didn't know I was working on your show.

Great because you were lying, I do that.

I mean, it wasn't like, yeah, I remember you were hiding coming in every day like no one can see me here.

I know. And then I knew everyone on the Crill, like literally, I'd worked with them on other shows, so it didn't matter. They all knew I was there. They all knew other people on the show.

I was because you were in my contract to work on my show. So it's not like they could fire you.

No, they couldn't. It was just mostly the other show and it was all. It was all taken care of it.

And now the other show has hired you back again.

They have, and you're going to go back to Atlanta to play with Legos. Well, yes, you just don't like Atlanta because you're uncomfortable around a lot.

Of black people.

No, it was great because you're.

From the because you're from the o C. And you're not used to black people. One do you just say what it is?

Am?

I the best boss? You've ever had talk about how what a great boss I was?

You were? You were sometimes you were amazing, and then sometimes I was like, how do I get out of this?

Don't don't talk about that.

There was times when I was single and I was living in that house that you talk about, and then you were beast for a little while. This is before you got married. You like calmed down when you like met Carly. Honestly, you became so much nicer. But before then, there was a couple of years. It was like a two year period you were not nice.

I was probably on a rampage.

You were, that is for sure, you were. I remember all of that.

But oh like what like, oh you're talking about like dating and stuff like that.

Oh yeah, oh man, I remember?

Are you kidding me?

I go through that roll Ofdex every night when I crawl into bed. You look at Carly over.

There, she's the best.

Oh yeah.

Sometimes I would have you buy gifts, yeah, for people, and you didn't and I wouldn't tell you who the gifts were for.

Well, that was in the beginning. That's when you nobody knew you were dating Carly and you had me. You were like, I really want to get my niece. My niece, it was like a niece or something weird, like some very like sexy shoes, like one of a kind at the time, like Lubaton's were very popular. Sure, and I remember being like, Wow, this is so nice that he's buying this for her.

I should give those to my niece right now. I should go into the closet, find those shoes.

And give them.

Mind, I had to give them to you, like in the parking lot from my car to your car, all secret.

You're not supposed to date employees, or at least I'm told. I never understood that. I still don't understand it.

Really, so many people on our show hooked up and got married with other people.

Of course we all we lived together for a decade.

Like, yeah, I don't know who are you supposed to date if you're not supposed to day something that you meet at work. I mean, I problem is people called me boss, and I never really thought I was the boss. I always like the network was the boss. I was just a person hosting the show. So I kind of felt like, no, we're all on the same playing field, but we weren't.

No, that was such a fun time on the show. Carly was on it, Sam was on it, Like there was all these fun women on that show.

So many, so many powerful women on my show. That's really well, that's really what made me who I am today is powerful women.

That is not alive by the way, No, I agree, there is like from your agent and your manager, everybody around.

You know, there's a team of women.

I'm so pro and you know, and now that I have a daughter, I just look at things from a different perspective. I'm just such a girl dad. Whenever I see that, I just want to fucking punch the guy. I want to get a show. You make me a cool show that says that says girl dad. But just for the record, I like my son more because he's way more fun. Why don't you Why don't you have a kid, Carrie, let's talk about that.

It's not too late. It's not too late late. Are you serious?

I think so?

You think so.

But if you went in and had your eggs tested, do you think there'd be like one or two left?

Probably? See, yeah, I'm not doing that.

I don't want to do Oh man, wouldn't it be fun to see what that kid?

What about?

What needs these guys like al Pacino like eighty three. Having a kid, you're saying you can't spit out one at fifty.

No, I don't want to.

I didn't.

What about adopting a kid, but they're about to age out? Like so you adopt like a seventeen and a half year and so basically what you're doing is you're going to pay for their college and stuff like that, and then maybe you have developed a relationship. Maybe you don't, but you pay it forward and you do it just legally so that they can have a better life or a better chance at life.

Why don't you do that?

No, maybe you can do that.

Of course I could do that.

Twenty times over. It just seems like a lot of work. I'll tell you what I'm going to do that if somebody just tell me. I want to pick a good person too, I don't want to pick a shit person. I probably want a girl, I probably probably. I probably want her to be a minority seventeen years old, eighteen years old, and I'll send her to college.

I'll do that.

Can you just send people to college without adopting them?

Oh, all right, I scratch what I said. I don't want to do that.

I'll just I'll just start a scholarship fun for somebody. But I thought it'd be cool that i'd.

Be their dad.

No, I mean why at that point.

Well, it's just to help, that's no. I don't say, I know it's a thing. Yeah, so you're not you don't want to have children?

No?

I never. I don't think I ever did. Maybe I did in my mid thirties.

Are you fixed?

No?

Is he fixed?

No?

So what do you guys do? Are you on birth control?

Yeah?

Gross?

Yah? Yeah. My doctor literally was like, so, if you really know you don't want to have kids, let's get you on birth control because you're going to be really pissed off if you made the decision and you got pregnant.

I don't think you should take it.

Well, why don't.

Let's see what happens. No, I'm not going to try to force you to have a baby.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

What if your husband's like, hey, I really want to have.

A child, right, oh, then that that may be the end of us.

Oh.

I think it's honestly, like I really have No, this doesn't doesn't occur to me or anything.

That's great. I don't think you're cut out to be a mother.

Oh that's not true. I think in my job as of wardrobe, you're very motherly. I have to take care of a lot of people.

Well, you're dressing people. You're dressing people, You're dressing people like a child.

Yes, school, Yes, I do have that part of me. I just didn't want it. I don't know.

I were your parents mad that you never had children?

Yeah, and my mom would start sending me articles. Well at thirty five, she was like, you better freeze your eggs because you're already old.

Did you freeze them?

No?

Oh, I've got eggs. I meant that you want one. I may be a kid. I give you a kid of mine.

I mean I wish it was twenty one. They could just be like, here, women, freeze your eggs because being a thirty five.

Eggs, you have a twenty one so much lot, so many.

I mean there's sometimes I think, what if I did have a kid at twenty and now I would have a forty year old Oh geez, but I would have a full on adults. I know, you know, I wouldn't have like, I don't want a baby. I can't even deal with the puppy right now.

So if you if you could go back in time, would you like get pregnant from one of those dudes at twenty No?

Way, I can't even imagine.

Would you if I could go back and have sex again with all these people?

No, you're not going like no, would you want to have a kid with somebody in your twenties? I was?

I was engaged at twenty one?

Oh no, it was No, it was I got engaged to it and then then luckily we called it off like a couple months before the wedding.

Oh you got that clothes?

My mom like went and bought like a dress, but her and everything. Everything was booked everything. She let me off the hook. What's the most single expensive article of clothing you've ever purchased for me?

There was this cardigan. I can't remember who makes it. They're very fancy. It was on Miss Reporter. It was like looked like very like kind of Indian.

I don't think we say that.

No, it was like like Native American pattern. It was a Native American pattern. Indigenous, yeah, sure, And it was made out of some crazy like casum. Do you remember this? You have it in Tahoe I do, yes, okay, yes, And it was like a thirty seven hundred dollars like Cardigan, okay, and that was I remember we used it like for thirty seconds on the show and then you took it to Tahoe.

There's thing I think I've taken family photos in it.

Yeah, it's it's amazing. Oh there was one time there was a Kochinelli sweater. I don't know if you remember this. This was like the last season and it was tan and it was a forty three hundred dollars hoodie. I like it, and I said to you, I didn't realize it was this much money. Huh. So I'm just going to tell you do you want? And we needed it for your outfit, and you're like, fuck that, We're not spending that. So then I found a Vince Won for like three hundred and like like put that instead.

This is why the rest of the country hates Hollywood. We're so out of touch with what everybody would spend for hoodies, like we think so we just bought a cheap three hundred dollars.

No, it's I'm messed up from it. Even my own shopping when I was working for doctor Phil and I was shopping for his wife. It was just I felt normal that it's like twenty five hundred dollars for a dress. I was like, oh, that's pretty good, and then I had to like knock, like where am I going that I needed twenty five hundred dollars us by the way, So it's like most of the stuff is good for like socialites and people on television or if you have

You're fifty years old. Why are you pretending to be a lawyer?

Like any show that they're lawyers. I've watched the Lincoln Lawyer Nev Campbell's character. I'm like, yeah, I'd like to dress like that.

You ever been nominating and won an award for your wardrobe?

I have for Lizo's show. Actually, not for me. No, I wish. I wish we did not for the shit so much fun stuff. Remember we had to make walk about penises. Do you remember that?

No?

I don't know.

There were massive like penises that we put on people and their heads came out of.

It, and you thought you should win an award for that.

No, But it was like we had to make all these crazy costumes.

Still circumcised were uncircumcised.

They were uncircumed. No, they were circumcised.

Yes, there was the uncircumcised. Your husband uncircumcised.

He is English.

That's good, all right. Thanks for being.

Here, Carrie, Thank you for having me.

Daniel, I'll see you tomorrow.

Pasha, we did it, Carl, another banger man. These are getting better and better. I want to thank Carry for being on the show. And don't tell me that I forgot to give her a gift. It's on the way. We recorded this earlier. I'm sending her all the pottery that she's made me over the years with me as always my dog.

Carl.

Hey, you remember when Twitter was called Twitter and celebrities would only tweet at airlines because they were mad about some minor inconvenience. I have a tweet that I need to send out, dear at Alaska Airlines. I was on flight twelve eighty two in seat twenty six B when a portione your plane exploded off, causing a huge hole to open up next to me. As a result, my

Look at me.

I'm not afraid to wear pink. Our rocket. The Goat premieres on Amazon sometime in Q two. I'm told get specific Amazon May fourth. I'll be at the Dolby Theater for the Netflix as a Joke Comedy Festival. What else, my son? You want to hear one of his stories. You don't You don't really care, do you. You've heard them all before. Yeah, see you guys next week. All right, that's one story. Then we go to bed. Okay, I'm sleepy.

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