My Son

Do you know what this is right now? And what we're doing?

We are interviewing each other.

Do you know the name of this shows show? Is that the song Tash Shaw Tosh Shows Show Show. Welcome to Toash Show, the only podcast that is one hundred percent ad libbed. Can we do that again? Welcome to Toash Show, the only podcast that is one hundred percent ad libbed, all crowd work, every episode, zero preparation in the history of podcast This is the only improvised one. I can't believe we pull this off every week.

All right, Eddie, you're here, Yeah, I'm here.

Congratulations, thanks for what for what? You know? What? Today is right? Today is the season finale of Toss Show. This is our first option. iHeart picked us up for two options. They picked up our second option already. This is the final episode, the finale of option one. It doesn't really make sense because we started last year and I think it was November, and then you know, all all the way to August. Option one. The finale is a big day. Here, We've done it. Congratulations to everyone

We're going to do a little feedback.

The all feed What a way to wrap up the first option with feedback, because people, you know, they come at us like we've been doing this for a long time, and that's not that's not true at all. We've only been doing this podcast for one option. All right, Well, let me let's hear what the people have to say, because I'm sure it's it's constructive.

Yeah, here we go. A lot of people are asking, when are you going to interview your wife?

The old ball and chain? When will I interview the wife? I mean, I don't know how that's possible with her busy schedule of not doing shit. Now we are in talks. My people have reached out to her people, and I believe that we can reach a deal, hopefully by the

What else, Dang, that frame is looking good.

You know what, though, as great as our frame is, it's about what's inside the frame. You could make that frame four inches thicker and I put this smile in it, It's gonna pop. Okay, that's just keeping the main thing, the main thing, you know, that's from that's from this douchebag that's on the Bachelorette right now. He just keeps saying it. He keeps trying to make it a thing, and it's just embarrassing. But I actually am like, that's kind of funny.

What's with comedians selling out to DraftKings.

Well, first, I'd like to point out that all comedians are degenerates. I love gambling, and even though I don't need the money, the people that are working here, that are creating this show every week with me, they want to get paid. And I'm sure a shit not going out of pocket. So we're going to have advertisers, hopefully tons of them. I would prefer this show be thirty seconds on sixty seconds advertising the whole way through. That's my goal.

How long has Tosh been dying his hair?

Dying my hair? Never dyed my hair. That's not true either. I have dyed my hair. I don't dye my hair at all. I haven't dyed my hair in thirty years, but when I was young they eighteen to twenties, there was times where I would bleach it white, just look cool as shit, spike it out. Oh man, I miss those days.

From our Cookie episode. It's a legitimate credit to Daniel that he found so many decent, kind people in Los Angeles. I've lived here for nine years and maybe found two of them.

Shut up. There's wonderful people everywhere. Everybody in Arkansas doesn't butt fuck their sister, but some do, and those are the ones we focus on when we make jokes. Oh, everybody in Los Angeles is horrible. Okay, if that's what you need to say to yourself, because you could never afford to live here and enjoy how much better this place is than every place else. Fine, there's no one here that's good, but it's just a reflection of you. There's tons of great people. Go out and meet them.

This is from one of your Father in Law episodes, Physical Exam Yesterday PSA zero point four to seven. You made me check appreciate it.

Hey, look at that.

You saved a life.

Well, we didn't save his life because his PSA was below one, which is all we were told you need to do, per my father in law, who is not a doctor, so that information could be completely bogused. I'd like to go on record is saying that. But it sounds like your PSA is great and you didn't need to get it checked.

If you watched Tosh point zero, you would have never thought Daniel would be a great family man.

It never would have known I'd be a great family man. By the way, I hosted a clip show about internet videos. Ah, it seems like a weird way to gauge if somebody would be good or bad as a father or a husband. But uh, all right, I'm glad you're pleasantly surprised.

From your father in law's episode. A wealthy man saying the economy is booming here in Florida while we all suffer is wild.

Joke's on you. You thought they're wealthy boy because he was a banker, because banks have money. Okay.

Also about Greg, is this the guy that sits on pillows?

He is?

That's the guy that sits on my throw pillows.

I'm an ice man, just like you.

Greg.

Never apologize for ice.

You know what I did for him? This I got him an ice machine. It was a joke gift, but it was it was a nice one. It was like on Prime Day, look at that, a little little play. I don't know. I saw this ice maker. It was like the greatest ice maker. People loved it. Four hundred bucks or something like that. I'm like, oh, this will make him laugh. Put this on his on his counter down in the guest house.

I'm not sure where else to post this, meaning which video, but please, if possible, have Mema on the podcast.

Mema is dead. Okay, that wasn't clear. She was killed in a snowplow accident Jeremy Renners driveway as I don't know, I don't I don't think that's true.

From the Astronaut episode, Interstellar is an amazing movie. Come on, Gosh, raise your game.

I know I'm not smart enough to get it, but if an Astronaut says the movie is stupid, I stand by it. Interstellar's garbage and I watched the whole thing, which means it wasn't all garbage until it became garbage, and that last part was enough garbage for me to be like, that whole movie is horrible.

From the Tour episode showering with kids is weird, no way around it.

Well, yeah, showering with kids. I was showering with my kids. That's a huge difference. I'm not gonna take a bath with them. That's disgusting. They were sitting a bath with your kids. It's just like, oh, it's a ticking time bomb until you know what happens. When I was much younger, my first four million kids, I showered with them. They went right down the drain. You get what I'm talking about. So i'mbout jerking off in the shower.

It's actually ridiculous. How much I look forward to hearing your son's bedtime stories every week?

Well, I hope you have rubber sheets, because you're about to go potty in your bed when you find out who today's guest is. Enjoy Pasha, My guest today is the creative mind behind our wildly popular and often confusing Toss Show bedtime Stories. Hopefully I only needs permission from one of his parents to be here today. Please welcome from a bedroom just across the hall from mine, my son Dan Junior dad name that's not his real name. No, I'm not gonna say your real name. I don't want

They stand at my beauty?

All right? First question, and you're gonna talk loud into the microphone. Okay, okay, you don't just scream are you a boy or a girl?

Boy? But everyone thinks I'm a girl When I'm like buy myself and someone says, I don't tell them like, hey, I'm a boy and not a gul.

Why do people say, look at that girl?

Because I have one hair and I'm pretty.

You are pretty and you do have long hair. Oh man, do you believe in ghosts?

No?

I respect that. Where were you born and a doctor in the doctor You're born in Los Angeles, you live in Malibu and Tahoe, Ah. You are destined to have some problems. Do you love California?

I don't know what to say to that. I am probably yes.

You do love California. Is it embarrassing that we often dress alike?

I kind of like that.

I think I like it too. Mom likes to put us in the same clothes all the time, doesn't she? Oh, so, do we ready for your next question?

What is it?

Bacon or sausage?

Bacon?

Drums or piano?

Piano?

Mommy's or daddies? Who maybe daddy's favorite thing to do with your little sister?

Dear properly, I don't think I know the answer to that question.

When somebody says, oh, that's funny or you're funny, what do you say?

Comedy is subjective?

Comedy is subjective, and what does that mean?

It means if soundings funny to you, it doesn't mean it's funny to the other person.

Now, you are very funny. Who do you think you got your sense of humor from?

What do you mean?

Who do you think it tried to make you funnier? Mommy or Daddy?

You? Daddy?

Who's the funniest person in the family?

Or bully Susan? Susan, She's like, Oh, they was just crazy, but that's fun.

Do you have any imaginary friends? I mean, shit, I can can you name all five of them?

Bumba ye is one of them? Cheetah? Who Cheetah? No?

Remember? Bingda bingda?

Yeah?

What about hamby gymby? What about me?

How? Mehow?

What it sounds like?

Me? How?

The greeting and Mandarin? But we we you changed it to me? How?

I mean? I might get rid of them, get some new ones, cool ones like imaginary dragon?

Interesting? Where did Bumba live?

New York?

New York? Oh man, it's so expensive. Tell everybody your favorite food?

Oh dear, I bet I have a bunch of them.

What are some foods that you like?

Bacon? But you already heard that. I think I like kisada, cheese, burga maybe I like pretty much like a lot of she think mac and cheese, cheese boogie?

You like sushi?

Oh? Yeah, you think I like skin?

What do you like for breakfast?

I could have anything. I don't know what I would have something good?

What about breakfast burritos in Mexico? I had a what do you have in Mexico?

boxIt burt is delicious?

What's your bedtime?

Don't think I know?

Do you have a bedtime?

Yeah?

Except on what day?

On Friday? Don't have a bedtime on the boss of bedtime on Friday.

You're the boss of bedtime on Friday. But sometimes you forget to ask us what day of the week it is, and then you miss it and then how mad do you get?

And I get so mad? Mm hmm.

The problem is when you're the boss of bedtime, how late do you stay awake?

Pretty great?

Yeah?

Like pretty right?

Yeah? Like you'd never get tired.

I never want to go to bed.

Who lets you watch more movies? Who gives you more screen time? Mommy or daddy?

I'd say, I mean daddy, like, let me watch some movies.

You mommy doesn't like you to watch?

What scary movies?

Do you like scary movies?

Yeah? I think so. I mean I would like like a shop dragon things like at all scilly, like everything that's scilly, but not in real life, because it's like you, it's scammy, right of course.

Have you ever been married?

Yes? Yes?

Who did you get married to?

You?

And why did you want to get married to me?

Because I just think I wanted to.

We got married. We had a nice, little small wedding in our backyard, didn't I Yeah, that.

Was pretty fun.

It was fun.

I love you more than any person that in the whole wide wall.

Oh, where do you think you're gonna live when you get older?

I think Moms wants me to stay here Malibu.

I think that's right. Are you gonna stay with us? Just stay here? Are you gonna stay in her house forever?

I don't know how they say any house, but I might stay in the city.

What about the airstream? Could you just move into the airstream? Oh?

I don't.

How come when you talk to me every day your life? You talk to me NonStop from six thirty in the morning until eight o'clock at night, and you start every single sentence with me with dad, Can I tell you something?

A new like? Oh, I got Dad? I mean, like, what a weird being chased by some giant inder city? And you did, and you're like, and I have to say that, right?

Okay, So what you're trying to say there is I said, stop saying Dad, Can I tell you something? Just start talking? Because like if somebody was chasing with you, would you be like, Dad, can I tell you something? And then you wait for me to say yes, and then you go, there's somebody chasing me? Or would you just say there's somebody chasing me? So can you stop saying dad? Can I tell you something? And just start telling me something dad?

Oh?

Man?

I mean like, do you want to do some jokes?

Hmm, yeah, I want to do some jokes. I right, does your dad ever say bad words?

Yes?

Do you ever say bad words?

I mean I think I say bad words when you're not listening?

What funny? And then we have this whole conversation. And I don't think they're actually called bad words. They're just like rude words are inappropriate or they're not nice. It depends on the contexts. It's a lot goes into it. But then there are actual bad words, but I don't even want to get into those. I don't even know when I'm supposed to start teaching you some things that people say, Oh that's tough. Now do you know what I do for a living?

Be funny?

I'm just funny.

You're pretty funny.

What do you want to do when you get older?

I mean, I'm a great builder, right, you're a great builder.

Do you want to be a builder?

I mean maybe? Right?

What do you like going to work with me?

I mean, I think this is I don't care.

What about tours? Do I like going on tours.

You do or not? I don't know.

Maybe yeah, sure, you've already turned into a fifteen year old. That's so sad. Do you know what this is right now and what we're doing?

We are interviewing each other.

Do you know what a podcast is?

What's the podcast?

That's what we're doing. That's what this is. That's what this is. Do you know the name of this show, Toss Show? Is that the song do an impression of my fans?

Now?

Did you know that you were on the Toss Show that I was putting your bedtime stories that we that Eddie animates them, turns them into a little little.

I know what Eddie animates them?

Okay, do you like your stories being animated?

I think so please. I think one time I head animation show on TV.

I think you were three years old, and every night before bed you would tell me a story, and I always recorded you because I thought it was funny that your voice was so cute and I wanted to remember it forever, And now I put it on the show so that everybody can watch it and hear your stories. Do you understand your old stories when you listen to them? Do you know what you're saying when I ask you what word is this?

I don't know if I always understand myself, I mean, listen, I'm just free as well. You don't always understand myself when I'm free years old.

That makes sense.

I would understand myself when I'm free he as old, but like when I grew up in and i'd listen to what I'm fleasy as well. They don't think I can understand?

That makes sense. What is your process? Are your stories well thought out? Or do you just see things in the room and start talking?

Just ask me another question. That's way better than that.

Okay, I'll ask you another question's way better than that. Is it more fun to hear a bedtime story or tell a bedtime story?

I think she at bedtime? Sorry?

How many? But I also thinking geez, go ahead.

I also think it would be fun to tell warm like people like, go yay, that's cool. You know.

How many people do you think have heard the bedtime stories that you've told.

Robberie A couple of people?

Yeah, no, maybe, so your storytelling hasn't stopped. You still tell stories, but I don't record you at night? Are you mad that I recorded you every night? Telling stories or no. So, okay, good, I think it's neat. I've always loved them. You know what's tough now is now that you read books that are like smaller print. Is I have to have all the lights on to read at night to you, and then you don't get sleepy. It's a problem.

You will make my eyes too when you put on the lights, and then I get used to the lights.

I know, and then when I turned down it's it gets too dark. Oh okay. Recently on a trip, you and one of your cousins there, Panda, you used an app on her phone and you made your first stop motion little film.

Yeah, it's called sta Attack.

It's called snail Attack.

And do you know why? And say why is that?

Why is that?

Because then gets attacked?

Oh okay, so the title is just a complete description of the movie.

I made up that one.

I said, okay, so you made up this whole movie snail Attack, and then you did stop motion. Can we play it on the show?

Yeah?

Now, do you want to tell them when the credits roll that they need to keep watching?

Yeah, they need to keep watching because they're a funny. Extra scene.

There's an extra scene in the credits time ago.

It was a village have village. There was some snaps. One of the snails really like treasure, and it went off and that you will come a d itch. Jum yum. Oh you look good.

Everybody that's on my show gets a present.

Oh what is that?

Yeah, but it's just stuff that that's at my house, which happens to be your house that I'm getting rid of.

What is it?

Okay, well the first here's your first gift. You're gonna love this.

And do I like it?

This is every every craft that you did in preschool, every single thing that you came home. I saved them all, but I don't because Mom will let me throw it away, So I thought I would just give it back to you. And now you're in charge of it. There's just hundreds and hundreds of things in here. You want to get that off my desk?

Yeah?

Please, okay, please get it off?

What I like?

You're gooful?

Oh do you have any other gift for me? More one my gift? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, would I like it?

You'll love it?

Oh? Come on, yay, rocky box wacky.

You don't ever play with these, and yet you just take them out and then it's impossible to put them back in the box because they all have to be put in so perfectly for the box to close. Can we donate these? Can we give these to some other other kids?

Give it to them? Then you have to give me a not a pleasant.

To replace it. That's not how it works.

All this other stuff, and yet you just gave me this and now you don't even want it.

That's true, But what's the rule in the house. You have to give away what ten or twenty toys to get one new one?

Twenty twenty.

That's a good rule. The problem is that's not enough. It should have been thirty. You were in preschool for two and a half years. Do you want me to tell you the time I was the most proud of you?

Which time?

One time I picked you up from school and you had a new toy in your hand, and I got upset because I immediately thought that you had taken somebody else's toy. So I went to your teacher and I said, and you're like, no, no, they gave this to me, and I just wanted to get confirmation. And she told me.

He was super super nice.

Way, what are you gonna ask Santa for Christmas this year?

Tubercada? Things that I would like and I might get I might say, can I have something that I would like for even you.

Want to ask him for something that you'll like forever? Yeah, that's a pretty good gift. And you know that you know that gift is memories. Memories. That's right, that's great that you just said that. I was gonna say. Love. Hey, let's talk about sports real quick. First of all, do you play any sports?

Yes?

What sports do you play? Ready?

Position? Two?

Which way do you swing the racket? Load of high, baby, load of high? You gotta put that top on it. What about breakdancing?

I'm done doing that and I'm benning it again.

You're starting back up and break dancing?

Now?

Did you see did you see that Australian in the Olympics that the people said baking data. Yeah, and she was doing the little like little kangaroo hop. Did you think she was good or did you also find it uncomfortable?

Just? Please? Oh my much? Just just I don't think I know you're talking about it.

Have you lost interest in this interview?

You wanted me to do this, so I did it?

All right? You goofball. Well listen, it's been wonderful having you on the podcast. Thank you for all your hard work doing the bedtime stories, and we'd love to have you back in like twenty years. Are we best friends forever?

Love you today? Love you come on? Best friends?

Yeah? Casha, Well, I want to thank you my son for letting me interview him. Do you like today's guest? You don't, do you because what does he do all day? Tortures you? Although sometimes you torture him. I've seen you run at full speed clip him, take his legs clean out, hit a full flip. That was impressive, I believe it or not. Carl, we're coming to the end of his stories, his bedtime stories. This is the finale of option one, and we were only gonna do my son's bedtime stories

Uh?

Hey, I want to talk about some free stuff that came our way. These aren't plugs again. Remember when a Stance sent me those socks. They sent me nine pair and I got furious because what am I to do with nine pairs of socks? And I made the joke that Bombas if Stance didn't up their game, I was gonna switch to Bombas. Bombas did it. They sent me two one hundred and fifty pairs of socks. I've got them. I got just tons of socks from them, you know,

Yeah, some beef for the boys here.

Yeah, why not send me a bunch of those. I like those things. Those things are good anyway. Speaking of clothes, boyswoarpink dot com my children's clothing line. Let's get that off the books. Somebody's swooping and buy that for me. You can go see Eddie do stand up. You don't have to just listen to me. You can go to his website and check out his tour dates. Also check out my tour dates. Come see me in Hawaii and New Orleans. Oh, my son's never been to New Orleans.

Okay, time in a sauce sauce over with a two time out. They were played with Dinal's dinos were not sely, so they won one put in their one, silly Dynald, And that's.

A great story. Thank you.