My Sommelier - Sarah Foote

So my first hell is lime jello.

Come on, no, I don't smell lime jello.

And then my other one is it's either petrol or like basoline, petrol? Get it?

Mm hm oh am I supposed to taste it? Now, what do you think it's delicious? Pashasha Shoshow, Welcome to Tosh Show. Smoke him if you got them. Eddie, you're still a big smoker. I'm not a big smoker. You were a big smoker. Yeah for one week, coolest week of your life. I felt so cool. I never smoked. And now we'll hold on. Now. I don't know that Big Tobacco maybe a sponsor this show, and I don't want to say bad things about smoking. If they're a sponsor,

Are you going to AA meetings?

WHOA, that's a better question. Why am I going to my son's elementary school? Doubles as an AA meeting place once a month. I can always tell when it's being used for AA because instead of children in an elementary school playing, it's a bunch of really depressing people, just all huddled outside, just smoking. And I'm like, oh, this

Sure?

I like no follow up to an indifferent Sure, Sure? Why not? You ever seen a ghost? I don't think so, You're a felt one.

No. I was doing inventory late at night once and all the wine glasses started moving around in one of the doors open, so I just went out there. I was like, I'm scared of everything, please leave me alone, and then they did.

Uh huh. I get scared easy mm hmm. And my mind goes into bad places quickly. But yeah, I never connect the dots that way. I always just think it's just I'm just on the verge of being killed. That's always what I'm worried about. Now. Just so you know, I'm not a drinker, but I always will drink just to show people I don't. I'm not somebody that it's just easier to take it sure to drink than have this long explanation of that. I have a palette of a four month old that just wants chocolate milk.

Sure.

So anyway, that's where I'm at. I'm fascinated by your work for a few reasons, because even though I don't drink. I love vineyards. I love going to places. I love traveling to the South of France. I love do you do it a vineyard? I stay at the hotel, sure or sure, wherever I like it. I like it for its beauty and it's I like the bougeenis. I like walking around like it's it's peaceful, It's pretty all right. How and when did you decide to become a professional Whyo.

I was working at a restaurant in Scottsdale, and the ownership asked whoever worked there if they wanted to get their level on some way, they would pay for it. So I said, I why not? I was it's intimidating. Wine's really intimidating, and when a guest knows more than you about wine, it really sucks. Yes, And I was just serving then, and so I wanted to know more, and it just was like way more interesting than I thought it would be. It's history and geography mostly, and

How much this manager of the restaurant, how much does is getting your level one small A.

I think it's like five hundred dollars to take the exam just.

To take the test, and you just have to do all the prep work.

They did. They put on a little they put on a little course. There's no it's not like they have it online now since COVID. But they would give you like general things to study. And so the restaurant group would put on put on classes like a distributor would come in, bring a wine, put on a class. I don't know, maybe ten weeks or so, and then you sit for the exam and.

Did you pay? You allowed to take the exam multiple times?

Yeah, I don't know the time for level one, but I pass that one. Okay, first try.

You're a level two or three?

I'm a two.

Are you looking to You're not You're done, not interested.

The commitment that it takes is pretty offensive, okay. And the way you have to eat and drink and spend your life and social life and I have a really nice life.

How long did you wait before you went to the second tier? And how many tiers are there?

There are four tiers Intro, Certified, Advanced, and Master so. The Master SO exam is regarded as the hardest exam in any field in the world.

Which, okay, but is it?

That's my response A brain surgeon.

That's listening to this right now is probably, yeah, yeah, I know it's the hardest.

Demonstrably true that it's the hardest exam in the world. I'm not saying that that's matches what I do. I serve rotten grape juice for a living, is what I tell people, and it's I say that too. I don't operate on brains, I don't go to space. I don't.

But it's is the test subjective at all? Or no? It's just factual. I just don't understand.

There's theory, which is the base of it. So less than three hundred people have passed the level for exam since its inception in nineteen sixty nine, so it's like not that many people.

I get it. That's impressive.

Yeah, And so your brain has to be wired a certain type of way to memorize. And then also you have to be a super taster at that level. So fifty percent of the population are average tasters, twenty five percent are below or non you already knew, and twenty five percent are above our super.

So no matter how much you some of it is out of.

Your hand exactly.

Okay, yeah, all right, that's good. Now. I like knowing stuff like that because then it's like, oh, I can't I shouldn't even try, right.

And you can. You can train your genes. You can train yourself to understand more, but you can't out train yourself like my genetics. I'm six foot tall. I didn't earn that. That's not a skill. I trained my genes to play volleyball. But I'm was never going to the Olympics, like I was never.

Those weird knee pads that that had the three sections. Do you know what I'm talking about the pads that had the three sec.

I feel that's good.

I love volleyball. The problem with volleyball, there's a few problems, but one problem with as someone who loves watching it is that it's only showcased properly once every four years at the Olympics. Yeah, now you played indoor? Yes, do you ever transition to the beach?

Terrible? At beach beach is a different game, different game.

But I lived in Hermosa Beach, Wheredando Beach, at Manhattan Beach, and there was a time that the tour would go literally half a mile down the beach each week and we're at a new location. I'm like, yeah, you're at a new location last week year at the other court. That doesn't matter. Fun to watch beach volleyball, But during the Olympics, I just get so into what do we call just regular say, volleyball.

Indoor indoor indoor. Yeah, I don't.

Understand the what's that bullshit position?

Libero?

Okay, just allowed to be like somebody that's not really involved.

But you just don't go in front row your back row.

Is that a new rule or has that always been there?

No, I don't remember that in high school would.

Watch high school volleyball. I never saw lebero.

I think it started maybe when I was in high school.

Okay, can you jump? Not well, could you jump?

Nope? I was just taller than everyone else.

Okay, so that everyone else you're you're not breaking record six.

Feet in my town. I was then on the boys even in like eighth grade. Imagine with your last name foot and your big foot eleven.

Did you have a big foot?

No, I'm just bigfoot. I was six foot tall. Yeah, that's one.

At least you don't have that pen on you exactly. I like that. I'm gonna only focus on volleyball. I don't care at all about this. Smali a shit. Okay, I want to hear by at the time you spiked it, your sister Nicole contacted us to have you on his I guess you also try to get you on the Bachelor? Is she your agent slash publicist?

Sure? Yeah, she would love that.

Yeah. How many siblings do you have?

Three? I'm the baby of four.

You're the baby of four. What do you got were the first two?

Girl?

Boy?

Boy? Girl?

Are you close with all of them? M that's nice.

They're all awesome. Individually.

Your parents still together?

No Ah, thirty years?

Which one of you caused it?

Me for sure, one hundred percent. Yeah, because it's when I left the house that they were like that was the glue.

At what age were you when they separated?

Twenty something?

How to hit you?

It was awful right off. I thought it would be easier as an adult, but then it's just breaks your spirit about this marriage.

This is the this is the conversations I've had with you. I honestly think people that it happens to like at that stage, it's a tougher as opposed to a five year old. You're just like, well, it is just what happened.

You get two Christmases.

I guess that's one way to look at it. Where were you born Illinois? You're born in Illinois. You grew up on a small farm. Tell me what that was like?

Awesome, It's like an idyllic childhood. I'm like, my high school graduating class had forty eight kids in it.

Forty eight people finished. How many started there?

I don't know the answer to that. But our senior class shirt on the back of it it says I graduated in the top fifty of my class.

That's cute. It is in my yearbook. My senior year armatta was if there's grass on the field, play ball, which is a reference to having sex with young people, and nobody in our school figured that out. We kind of always wore that as a badge of honor. Anyway. So you grew up in a small farm in Illinois went She ended up heading out west.

After college after I graduated, well before I graduated, I came out for an internship, went back to graduate, and then moved out after college.

What college did you go to?

North Park University in Chicago.

Did you have a major in drinking?

I did, Yeah, I'm not on purpose.

Did you drink a lot?

Yeah, that's how I started. People ask me like, how did you get started in hospitality? And my mom caught me drinking and made me start working at Pizza Hut.

Why Pizza Hut because there.

Was that My only other friend that had a job at the time, Jess Cush, That's where she works.

One of my favorite Indian restaurants here in Los Angeles is a former Pizza Hut. And I just loved looking at the stupid building and that they didn't do anything to change it, and I'm like, yeah, no, I it's just a pizza hut that's now an Indian restaurant. She worked at pizza Hut. By the way, did you steal? I don't steals the wrong word, but take home a bunch of those red cups? No, I love them. They were such a good drinking cups.

I think I have one of the things you put on top of your car when you do deliveries.

Still, that's pretty interesting. What were you at Pizza Hut?

Server? And then I would get annoyed it took too long. So then I've worked in the kitchen and managed, and.

I hated their pizza fair deep. I hated it. My parents would take as it. I do have a memory from pizza out as a child. It was where I had my first crushed red pepper.

What a moment.

And I remember putting my dad's like, yeah, just take one, and I put one in and he put it on. I think, I don't know if you put it on my tongue like it was passover or but no. I took one. I put on my tongue, and I remember not enjoying the experience. But now look at me now, Dad, I love crushed red peppers.

Well, well, I don't know how I.

Could have been three years old. I have no idea. So your mom caught you drinking? What were you drinking when she caught you?

No clue, don't remember it all something terrible.

I'm sure was she a drinker?

No? I never saw either of my parents really drink, And like.

I'll show you guys, literally, yeah.

I sure did. Now I drink for a living.

It's pretty great.

I know how old were you when you got your Level one twenty seven?

Okay, that's a good time to have some direction in your life.

Oh boy, I needed it, did you?

Yeah? But that was neat, like, oh look at this. Now I'm gonna do something.

Cool, yes, genuinely.

And people talk to you like back home when you're like, yeah, this is what I'm doing that holy shit.

Now they're like, oh, you still work at restaurants? Cool?

Yeah, I worked at a Greek restaurant and I was starting to do comedy and I would have to like come back from the road and still wait tables for if you and people didn't you graduate college And I'm like yeah, but I'm I wouldn't even just stopped talking. I was just so embarrassed.

Yeah, welcome to my life.

So how did you get a job at the French Laundry? Arguably, or maybe it's not, one of the greatest restaurants in the world.

Absolutely, it was the best restaurant in the world for a few consecutive years.

Where is it?

NAPA? Yonville? Past my level two? I studied with Master Songs past my level two, was running a wine program in the Bay Area. Moved up to or was going to move up to NAPA. Had a just an easy, little job interview at a winery in Yonville, and they hired me, and I was like great, but I was like I look good. I was in my interview attire, I had my everything ready and I walked down the street. I knew French Laundry is down the street. I just

Is it because it's like cool, It's just so cool.

I would never know, right, so stupid. I finally found the front door and it was unlocked, and I went in and there was two people standing there, hilariously, like the two best looking people that worked at French Laundry at that time. And so I was like whoa. Everyone hears boys or girls one of each, huh. And I'm like, hey, my name is Sarah Foot. I think you should hire me. I think you're gonna want to hire me. I want

I'm talking to the front people at Abercrombie and Fitch back there, totally like hey here and they're like.

Okay, but yeah, hot, yeah, right exactly, and then they called me and then they hired me.

That's awesome. Yeah, and I never did the interview.

Yeah, well, yes, they called me. I went into an interview, came in and did a second interview and then they're like, all right, go fetch for your suits and come back next week.

And what do they wear?

Hugo Boss suits.

When I was there, Okay, they look sharp.

And I didn't know. I had only worked in semi fine dining. I had never worked in any Michelin Star. It was three Michelin Star. So that was a pretty aggressive and.

Massive Thomas Keller, what kind of boss was he?

I was fortunate he was there a decent amount while.

I worked because we smiling you weren't you weren't.

Like no, I was on the service team. I was not a smiling okay there, but front of house. I would help with wine if I could, and do whatever I possibly could to get there. But that would have taken I would have had to be there much longer, Okay. So again I was fortunate we opened the new kitchen while I worked there, so he was present a lot, and he's he's a presence, you know when he's in the room. I really enjoyed it. I think that I

Why are chefs allowed to be such assholes? Is there like no HR department in the restaurant business.

That's the hardest working person in the restaurant business.

I mean, so the people are complaining to somebody mm hmm, okay, because I've always just felt like they get away with murder in the restaurant business.

It's changing, It's changed a lot. Even I went back to NAPA and was talking to David Briden, who was the head wall I was there, and we had like we started laughing super hard about some shit that went down when I was there, and he's like, we can't do that anymore.

Yeah, no, I mean there used to be a pecking order and then just all the incestual nonsense that would go on always. What's a meal cost you at the French launder if you do everything right?

I think when I was there it was three ninety five per person. That doesn't include wine, It does include taxing. Gratuity doesn't include wine or any up charges. If you got FUA or WAGU.

Or biggest tip you ever received.

I don't know, a couple thousand dollars.

I thought you were going to say, like one night on a guy's boat. I don't know, the weirdo's there, right, Oh.

Totally, yeah, the super rich. There was four people once that ate at per Se, which is Thomas Keller's other three Michelin star restaurant for lunch, got on their private jet, flew to NAPA, and then ate at the French Laundry for dinner. That's like six sticks of butter. Yeah, one day.

Yeah, that's pretty cool though.

Yeah.

I like when people do stuff like that. Yeah, same as silly. Same After leaving the French Laundry, you took some time off to live on your mother's couch.

Loved it. Where was she living at the time, Illinois from.

Okay, you just went back to your home couch. Yeah, because you were just so drained.

Yeah. That had been years now that I had been studying and working and doing whatever. And when you work at French laundry, you don't have a lot of free time, so you give up a lot holidays, weddings, things like that. So I was like, I'm just gonna go home. I'm gonna go hang out with my family, have nieces and nephews, take them to the pool, hang out with my mom, cook dinner, see my high school friends.

But nobody in Illinois really can wrap their head around what the French laundry is.

I I think someone asked me if I was did French people's laundry? Yeah, that sounds about right, And I was like, I don't even know.

I mean it's a military operation.

Yeah, it's the best of the best of the best.

Most people are I think most people that drink wine obviously know this. Not a lot of women in your field.

Yeah right right, Why is that it's changing? Well, why aren't there women in all fields?

Well? There are, It's just it was more than others.

It was a boy.

Why is this the boys club? That's my question.

I have no idea.

In general, men think they know more about wine. Sure, and also, oh it's gotta be fun.

Oh it's super fun. Oh it's super fun. And so I've learned, you know, I've been doing this long enough. Like if I'm greeting someone, if I'm greeting a man, I never offer him help. Uh yeah, So I say, have you made a selection? Or is there a bottle I can fetch for you?

Fetch?

Fetch?

You use the word fetch. I don't like that at all. That would retreat, you know. And I yell at my wife for it. When we go out to restaurants. When the if the male server says a joke that's not funny and she gives him a charity laugh, I fucking stare at her. I stared daggers at her, and I said, don't you fucking make that guy feel like he's funny. He's you know, he's not funny, and you just did that for him.

Yeah, I give it to him a tough day.

I don't care. If he's having a tough day, he should know that he can't just come in, and it infuriates me. All right when some drunk chauvinist starts man splinning wind you, how long do you let it? Let them ramble on before you tell them that you're a Somalia?

Are we? So this is in the restaurant, I'm not in the restaurant.

This is my like.

I love that, and I just try to make them feel stupid without them knowing. But they know they do have eventually, huh, and then they feel real bad.

That's good that some of them feel bad. I bet some of them don't feel bad.

Yeah, I try to make them feel bad.

Do you trust uh customers when they say, oh, this wine isn't good.

I'll smell it myself for sure. Obviously.

Do you ever chug in the back?

No? Maybe, I'm sure I have.

Have you ever have you ever pulled the old switcheroo where you know this person doesn't know shit, so you give them they order something nice, you keep the nice bottom and just give them something else.

Never that would truly be the least hospitable thing you could have heard, of.

Course, But I think I maybe it's somebody that talked down to you or never, you're just like, you know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna show this then come back out and go, hey, dumb fuck.

That should go over.

Well.

Hospitality is a little warmer than.

That, Listen. I was in the restaurant business, and you know I wasn't good at it, I bet, But you know what I could do. What I could write my name upside down on the paper that was put down on the table when I came and greeted. Them. Wow, hey, I stole that move from the macaroni grill. I believe, blow people's minds and talk about how every grape vine in Europe is grafted from an American vine.

Yeah, I remember learning that was crazy. So floxras a vine lause that got brought over to Europe and negatively affected all the roots, and so the American roots were resistant, and so everything got grafted on. Basically, all of Europe is plant on American rootstock.

Look at that, guys, we're still number one. This is what Trump is going to do?

Oh god, yeah, there it is?

How you holding up after that election? Huh? Is rose wine good? Or is it for children?

I don't think any wine is for children.

Well, you know what I mean?

You get what I was saying, Well, Rose, we had a Rose all day. It had a whole marketing thing.

Rose is delicious at what price point? Are insanely expensive bottles of wine just a status and massaging egos of the assholes that can.

Afford it on a wineless seven hundred that's.

The breaking point?

Yep?

Did that? There's a hush. None of us. None of us thought we were going to hear that number.

What did you think it was going to be lower?

Yes?

Oh well, I've been in super fine dining for a long time. So my friend and I talk about this a lot.

So anything over seven hundred is like two.

People ordering that bottle. My friend and I have broken this down. Okay, he runs the biggest list in Arizona. The first person is a really really knowledgeable wine person. They have a deep cellar, they know what they're talking about, they know what they like. Typically that person spends between two and four hundred dollars on a bottle almost always. If they go over seven, they're celebrating. It's a milestone

What is the most expensive bottle of wine at most restaurants? What price wine is? Seventy one hundred, seventy one hundred dollars? Why not just make it seven thousand? Are they worlds better than a seventy five dollars bottle of wine?

Depends who he ases you.

Yes, their world's better. That's good world.

What kind of measurement is a world?

Well, you're you're the one that has the made up profession. I believe you.

If you say no, no to me, it is there's a diminishing return. You know, the difference. You could you could taste a difference between a two dollars bottle and one hundred dollars bottle. You could likely say which one.

I can tell you that it tastes different. I just don't enjoy the taste of it to begin with. So that's just my own problem.

Okay, so maybe not you specifically, right, most people can taste the difference between a five dollars bottle and a twenty dollars bottle or a thirty dollars bottle again. Once you go over one hundred retail it starts getting more difficult. There's like a diminishing return.

Can you get an amazing wine for eight dollars?

Amazing?

You answered it? Are you picky about wine when you go out?

Yes? Particular is the word I like?

Costly is what I just heard?

Yep? Yeah? Well yeah?

Are you team Old World or New World wine?

Both?

What's your favorite te rawa? Was that good?

Yeah? Tear wa tearwah. I drink a lot of French wine? You do?

I do. What's the most expensive bottle of wine you've ever tasted? And did it change your life?

Uh? Probably over twenty thousand? Did it change my life? No? It was good, it was great.

The most expensive bottle off you've ever accidentally dropped and broke?

Ooh uh maybe like two hundred bucks? Yeah? Nothing too bad?

Barely worth righting home about it? I mean it would be worth it in Illinois? That would hit the front pages? Is it true? Two buck Chuck sometimes has phenomenal bottles of wine because of how they acquire their grapes, or is it just some myth? Trader Joe's is peddling to move more of its.

Toilet wine, well, private label stuff that you can get at grocery stores. Some big grocery stores they'll buy fruit from really grape producers. Sometimes they just can't tell you who it's from, so it's like declassified fruits. So technically, yes, I don't think Charles Shaw is one of them, but there's some other labels that, yeah.

What region know the world is the Blood of Christ from.

Ooh, I don't think I'm gonn answer that one.

Were they normally serving in church for communion?

I haven't been in a lot of years.

Our church always did grape juice when I was a kid.

They like box wine because it'll stay good longer.

Maybe how advanced are you? Can you identify the great varietal and year if I pour you a glass of anything?

Or not always? But sometimes I blinded two wines last week and I called it surraw from France, but it was sorrow from New Zealand, so I got the great bright in general age. And then there was another one I called Panagree from All Sauce and it was peanablong from All Sauce.

I mean that to me is what I And there's somebody that can always get it right. Are there always some guessing. Get it.

It's it's a it's a grid, and it's a deductive tasting. So you're deducing, so you're saying by color. It's you're saying the color, so you're essentially saying what it's not. So if it's deep and ruby and rich, and you're saying it's not peana, no, or it's not gonbula, it's not grenache. So then you and then you get through and you guess at the end.

Okay, do you're educated do all the stuff with the wine?

I don't know what that means.

You know what it is? Were you where it's like your your stick in your no, you're swishing, you're doing all of that.

So blind tasting is a skill set that you have to hone to become assemblier and for exam purposes. But I'm not often blinding anymore. What I'm tasting for usually is for the list. So I'm just tasting to see if it sound, if it makes sense, if it's price appropriate, and if it's going to go on the wine list. But if you're a guess at a restaurant, the only thing that you're tasting smelling for is a fault you're just making sure it's not gross.

Do all the different types of glasses for wines that let let them breathe? And what's the other word I want?

Open?

Open? Does it? Do they really make that big of a difference.

They make a difference. They do make a difference. It just depends on if it matters to you or not.

These chunky bottle openers that are so big that can't fit into any drawer. And then when I put this stupid thing in a drawer, you know, it's always the nice ones that just in a one pole. But then I open the drawer, Oh, one of the arms grabs on and now I've got to like whittle my skin any arm in to do some more it? Don't you feel everyone should be forced to use a corkscrew? And a corkscrew only sure?

And then you should have forcing people to do stumps.

Okay, what kind of bottle opener do you use?

That's my question, waiters. Corkscrew? Easy, that's it.

That's it.

And a knife there's one on there. And then if it's an old bottle, I've got a durand is a tool that I use.

These questions are not from me. These are questions from Carrie, my wardrobe stylist. By the way, this is fucking the itchiest thing I've had on in quite some time.

Great can I do to hear her questions?

Is organic wine better for you?

Well? Okay, so you know, vitt to culture is everything that happens before the vine and the grape is picked, vinicultures, everything that happens after organic is really only talking about the first half.

So maybe is it bad to put ice cubes in your rose?

No?

Okay? Who invented froze? And can we make it stop?

I don't know. Probably not.

Poors so small and foody restaurants.

If you're doing a tasty menu, you're gonna get a two to three ounce poor it depends, and then your pores are five or six ounces everywhere else.

Why do wine pairings at a ten course fine dining restaurant involve an insane amount of alcohol.

Because you're paying for it. It's usually pretty expensive.

It's so much.

Yeah, is it okay to share a pairing? Yes, that's not lizly No, not by me?

Okay, Why is sincere so delicious?

Sansa's a little subregion of the Laire Valley in France that plants exclusively savignon blanc, and I call it like the ballerina of savignon blanc. New Zealand can be grapefruity and grassy and super parasitic, and then California can be ripe and pineapplely and sometimes oaked, and then Sanserras just sits in the middle, pulls a little bit from each.

Why does red wine cause sleepless nights?

Well, that seems like a deeper question. I don't know. People are affected by different things, probably the alcohol.

Why can't the people who pour tastings in wine country tone down the spiel for guests who really don't give a shit.

You could just lead with that. You could say, I don't give a shit, I'm here to.

Okay, Because sometimes just I'm like, there's no way anybody that's at this tasting is processing a word that's coming out of their mouth.

And they're just trying to They have to sell wine to make money, so they're just trying to weave the web and make a story and get you drunk enough to sign up for the wine club.

I just like hearing about the land and how they built the house and how when a fire came through they were out there with the hose. These are those that's always what impresses me. They I don't want to buy a barrel, and they're like, what are you going to do with it? Am I going to turn into a video game console or something? And they would just have a good time. Do you have any barrels in your house?

I do not.

Do you like it when people repurpose a barrel for something you don't charming? A nice but in a cabin setting and you're still against it? No, I can't. I can't come up with a scenario where you think it's cute.

Probably not.

What's your favorite place in Europe to vacation?

My favorite wine region I've ever been to is Alsas.

Forget wine region? Is there another region that I do?

Okay, yeah, all of my travels around wine region? What was it? All's US northeast? It borders Germany.

I was born in Germany. I don't remember it though. You know what I found out recently that my mom just blew my mind with I. We we were talking about going to Portugal or something, and she goes, I lived there for two years. I would move back in a second. I was like, what, didn't even never knew. There's just something horrible about how you don't realize how much life your parents had before you were born.

That her sounds really cool, just selfish.

I'm just a selfish son. I should call her and check in on her. Everybody's on the show gets gifts. It's just stuff for my house. A lot of it is first thing I'm giving you.

Okay, that's awesome, full bottle oxy clean.

Now the reason I'm getting put the half bottle. But what it hasn't been used yet?

No, that's like it's like a small format.

No, no share please, Okay, I do you know how much oxy clean I go? I have two young kids. Everything has to get sprayed, okay, and I'm guessing you're having some wine spilled shair. So I'm like, why not just give you bottle of this. But the real reason I'm giving this to you is because I want oxy Clean to start sending me free crates this ship, okay, because all I do is spray all my kids laundry all day long with oxy Clean. Oh, it's max Force. That's good stuff. You're gonna love that.

Thank you.

I got this was in my house. No idea where it came from. It's a teeth whitening. I'm thinking with wine every now and then, who knows? There you go this now, this, this is? This is nice? You were gonna like this first of all? Okay, aren't they nice? This is it's not wine. I know about it. Somebody got this from I think, Uh, one of my wife's siblings. I don't know. I got him a water bottle, my kid. But it's got a crystal in it. It was like a one hundred bucks or something. I don't know what

All Right, I've been I can put wine in there.

You do whatever you want with it. It's got a crystal in it, okay, and it's never been used. And it's by the way, do you have you heard of these water somaliers? Is that just bullshit? Well, you've got a crystal bottle of water. Good luck bringing that through security anywhere. I think it's stupid. Thank you you're taking that. This has to come off the table. Okay, you speaking of them. There's a two for they got it. This is an old book a cheese. It's from Williams Sonoma.

Do you love cheese?

Oh? Man, this is awful. What is it? Is it just to read about cheese? Is that I'm supposed to great? It's great? Well whatever that's yours?

And it is really faded.

I don't thumb it now. This is the bottom. My wife was drinking two nights ago. She didn't finish it. I figured you can have the rest of it if you want it so much. That's how much she left after drink.

That's a very funny amount to leave.

Agree, Yeah, and I go this is the refrigerator. I'm like, what is it?

And a half? Is that?

Is that ship wine that she was drinking? Say it?

I won't.

It's ship hunt, I will not, but it is.

I won't say that.

Okay, why won't you say that?

I won't speak negatively about wine.

Oh they can't hear you.

They can and will the wine, the winemaker, the.

Human I thought you didn't want to hurt the wines because because you know it's at the end of its life when it's poured into a glass. I was going back to that and that you were like, no, no, no, let them go out peacefully, which is also you're you just go finish that off for me. Okay, fine, nobody's taken that, and we're not going to talk bad about the one.

No. I made wine in New Zealand, and I'm taught me not to speak negative about It's so hard.

It's probably is it a relative small circle even though it's global. You know all these players. What do you say to all these people that are trying to tell us that any amount of alcohol is bad for us?

Over it? Hate that? So, okay, I say that because I've been to a lot of wine regions and the amount of eighty ninety year old people that are completely mentally sound and physically sound more so than a lot of other countries, have been drinking a bottle of wine a day since they were like six, and they're cruising.

So you think that I should offer my six year old a bottle of wine.

I don't think I should say that.

No, No, I mean I don't. I have nothing to argue with what you're saying, but I also am like, well, just because somebody drinks a bottle of wine and lives to be one hundred and healthy, that doesn't necessarily mean that it is healthy.

Sure. Sure, but I also think that it's being like it's the devil and the conversation. I think binge drinking is probably terrible. I think whatever's going into Yeah, if you're like taking shots of fireball, that might not be the best. But if you're having like a bottle of wine that was made down the street and has no nothing added to it.

All right, So Sarah, you've brought some wines for me to taste. I'm a little congested. Will that affect me?

Yeah? Of course.

Okay, let's go. Well, let's watch your open a bottle clean? So fun? Is that your special?

No? No, I was gonna since you give gifts, I was going to give you a used cork screw from my car center console.

Why is it from your car?

It always happened.

That seems like it's a problematic if you get pulled over.

No, it's not like I don't have wine.

Okay, what do I have to do?

Well, we're not going to walk all the way through because what I was telling you do I.

Need to do that? Sure, that's kind of and then it's like mine wasn't doing it. Mine wasn't going pretty there, I go there, I use my left hand.

Oh okay, and then dig your nose in there and take a big sniff mm hm anything.

Yeah, it sells like all alcohol.

Okay. So this is reasoning from the finger lakes.

Oh yeah, spending time in the finger lakes.

Yeah, I went there once. It was awesome. It's pretty right, it's beautiful. So I have different people have different tells. So I I have like certain things that I smell in wine, and I know it can guide me to what the wine is. So I have two tails for reasoning, and I want to if you get if you smell either of them after I tell you what they are. So my first hell is lime jello.

Fuck off? Come on, No, I don't smell lime jello. I guess you do. I'm the other the ten percent or whatever.

Sure, and you're congested, so that's not it.

Ida. I can smell fine now that now that my nose is in here.

And then my other one is it's either petrol or like basiline. Oh, dig it back in.

There, petrol.

Get it?

Mm hmm, but I think I'll say that. Oh Am, I supposed to taste it.

Sure, we're not going by any rules. I just want you to. I just like changing people's minds on raisling. So also, people usually think greasling is really sweet.

Okay, and this is not. What do you think it's delicious? It's it's fine, it seems good. All right.

We're only gonna do one more because I want.

To do I don't want food. We want me to do one with food.

It's a little bit of food.

What kind of food do you I have to eat?

Blue cheese?

Blue cheese?

Blue cheese? Really?

Yeah?

All right, then we want it.

I mean I'll eat a little blue cheese.

I just like a lot of blue Get a pair well with whatever she has?

It is, am, I supposed to finish this?

You can. My stomach is crawling.

Oh man, look at this.

So this was one of my first wine pairings with food, and this one I don't know. You tell me BlackBerry jello? No?

All right, what do I need to know about this?

So this is one of my favorite things that changed the way that I feel about food in mine. So actually we're gonna sip the wine first. So this is vintage Port, so it's gonna be kind of viscous and heavy on the tongue and rich and sweet. So sip the wine first.

Sip it.

Yah, it's sweet, it's thick, it's delicious. Take a little piece of blue cheese.

Take a little piece of blue cheese. Oh that's a big piece.

You still can't cut it in half? Yep, good, eat it, and then immediately drink the port. It like cancels each other, mellows each other out.

It's just it's disgusting. And by the way, I'm so glad I brought these, Sarah. I know I'm wrong. I know I'm wrong, but like I could gag.

Anyways, that's technically a perfect bearing.

I still have blue cheese in my mouth, and deel blue cheese.

A little there we go, there we go.

Oh man, so much blue cheese.

You have the tiniest beech.

It's so thick, it's like coat your teeth.

Yeah, it's so good with vintage Port.

But this goes with everything.

Sure, it goes with a lot, a lot, a ton most things. Oh my god, he's eating the cheese. Sorry, your dog's eating the blue cheesel.

Give him the port so that he can balance it out. Come, come over here, How will reimburse you?

Carl?

Come here? How do you want to balance out the blue cheese? Are you having fun? Do you say? Oh I like this life? Yes? That's good?

Oh yeah, I love it.

Where are you gonna end up? You're going to stay in.

The south of France.

Oh good for you.

That's pretty making cheese.

Maybe when you die, are you going to have your ashes thrown in in a vineyard? And then right, yeah, that's kind of cool. I don't think I've ever thought about that. Then you could save a couple of bottles forever and be like, yeah, one day I'm gonna drink my great grandpa. Well, we're gonna dump you into some some soil and we're gonna drink you later. Picking up notes of Cortes on All right, listen, Sarah, I just I wish you all the best in the upcoming volleyball season.

Thanks for having me travel safe, Pasha.

Thank you Sarah for being on the show. I confirmed so much. Still don't like wine. What are you gonna do? But you did remind me, Carl that we must check in on my mother. Let's see if she answers. She's getting wise to this prank. She's like, if you FaceTime, I know you want to talk to me. Hey, Hey, how are you doing physically? Just checking in on your well being? Social check. I'm feeling just fine. Thank you. We have a cool day today. It was nice outside.

Sometimes you got it anything for you?

I love you, Love you bye. I don't blame her. I don't blame her, Eddie, you say some stupid shit. Sometimes we got some plugs. We got the tours, Eddie Goslin, Daniel Tosh dot COM's check out our tours. Buy some merch from the show toshshowstore dot com. Get yourself some cool Tosh Show merch. What else boys wear pink dot com? Check that out before it's gone, gone gone. Now it's time for the free plugs. Oh yeah, let's do some music.