My Personal Chef
 - Rémi Lauvand

What's your favorite American fast food restaurant chain?

Oh? My god, I don't eat fast food.

Have you ever had fast food from a fast food restaurant?

In and out?

In now?

Oh?

I mean I turn a blind eye to that. That's that's nice.

Yeah, it was okay, and it was invited by Julia Child.

Pasha Cash Shows Show Show. Welcome to Toash Show. Now you may notice that I'm not wearing my wedding ring today. It's right here. About six months ago, I was surfing in Florida a little beach break shore break water was probably six inches deep. Jammed my finger, it swelled up. Didn't want to cut the ring off, so I let it stay on there.

Uh.

And then just yesterday I finally was able to get it over this swollen gross knuckle. Six months later. Oh it was, But so now I have to walk around with my ring and set it down near me so that no one tries to have sex with me. I gotta do it. My wife's like, you better put it near you so that it blocks all the vagina from engulfing your penis. Anyway, can tell? Does that look bad? It hurts?

Oh?

Stupid? It still hurts whatever I get through it. I've been sick. To Eddie, how you feeling, I'm feeling pretty good. You were sick for a while there, huh covid over the break Yeah, oh man, that's a shame. Well, at least not on a ventilator.

All right.

I got sick and I'm still talking about it. I had a cold three weeks ago. I'm not whining either, creating content. How did I get a cold? Oh, I'll tell you how I got a cold. My mother in law, who's famously never sick, happened to be living with us for a month, and that entire month she was open mouthed, coughing all over the Monopoly deal cards every night. You know the worst part for me when I get sick.

Now.

If you're just listening to this podcast, I know that you can head on over to our YouTube channel and check out the links. Huh, that's what we do there. Let's get to today's guest. You will notice the set's gonna look a little different. It was. We had a different table, and we had we didn't have lights. The backdrop was a bit different. Okay, we shot all these interviews out of order, and this was one of the

I'm good right now?

What are you? Are you a one kisser, two kisser or do you go three or four?

It depends where you're from.

I understand, what are you? What are you? Three?

So it's a three, but you know what I mean. In my family the pot of fuens I am. It can go all the way to four, but it's too much.

It's too much.

It's too much for four kisses so long exactly, especially if you don't like it, you know, you're like, come on, get away from me.

You can't keep kissing me. Uncle? Do you want to hear my French accent? I don't know if this is offensive. I mean, my friends, that's all I've got.

Okay, good?

Do you believe in ghosts? You know it's debatable, you know, no, it's not.

Well, if I'm at my family house, I do believe in ghosts. Anywhere else, yeah, it's not.

No, you don't believe in ghosts, is the answer?

Yeah?

All right, good, thank goodness? Ratituy? How many times have you seen that movie?

Oh my god?

How many times?

I think twice?

Did you enjoy it? Or no? Yeah?

I do? But I mean I'm named after a rat.

Well, yes, but it's such a such a dignified rat, and rats are I think overall, are considered smart creatures. But in a kitchen, I mean that's the whole point. Yeah, all right, remy, where are you originally from?

Home? France? Born and raised? I mean I've been a little all over. So it was like either in a north of Palace or in a Southwest.

Do you go back to France every year? I used to are you allowed to go back?

Of course? Yeah?

Okay, just making sure.

Well, I guess for a while I was not.

But what got you into cooking in the first place?

You know? I started walking you my songs, like in the summer, just doing things and I felt like, you know, doing dishwashing and stuff like this. But I was still in school. I was kind of a I would say, like an earth antisocial kind of person. And bringing me into that environment where everybody was walking together and I

Do you how do you handle that stress?

Just constantly At the beginning, it was a little traumatic. I'm like, oh my god. You know, I used to go home and not being able to sleep and wondering am I doing the right thing? I mean, this is crazy, and then eventually it's it's kind of like you melt into it and you focus on really what's important and you leave a lot of the background noise and background so it's not affect you.

You wear the chef hat in the kitchen.

You know, I'm six three, so if I put a hat, I'm going to bang that thing all over and he's going to fall in everything. And I used to like make chefs upset with me because I used to cut it up and I would look like, you know, a fast food guy or the ice cream guy, and they would like aff at me. I'm like, okay, so take it off.

Six three. You see I'm six four. Yeah, what's the shortest person, shortest man that you can respect? What's that height?

Well? You know, I mean that beat on my elbow. I'd be like, okay, get away from me.

You cooked in Germany. I was born in Germany. Now they I don't think of German food.

Well were you born in Bopart, a.

Small Frankfurt near Frankfurt. I walked near Frankfurt, but the food in Germany.

So it was a franchise sant Ok So it was a small like one mission star. I saw one thing I really enjoyed in Germany. It was, you know, the how methodical and organized everything is.

Oh yeah, I think they've taken that to another level. Oh yeah, got them in trouble a handful of times. Well so me too. But there was a fun part though. You know, the food was great. I mean there was like my basis were covered. But what I learned was their organization. They were thinking. They were like always requestioning themselves about doing things more efficiently and better. How long have you been in the United States.

Since eighty four?

You went to New York first? Yeah, how was your time in New York?

Great? Oh my god, I mean in.

The eighties New York fancy restaurants. How much cocaine did you do?

None?

How much cocaine did you see a lot?

Oh my god?

I mean yeah.

When people ask me about the story about the rest out the world or even New York in the eighties or it's not a joke, it was beyond belief. Even for me.

I was like, whoa did you drink?

Yeah? Drinking I did.

I mean, like most a lot of chefs, we got a bad reputation. Yeah, we have a little too much.

I never got to the point where it was a poem. But yeah, the drinking, you know after shift, you know, binging until four or five in the morning or until the sun comes up, and the restaurants all the value are like lifting again the high end curtain because they closed it at like three o'clock in the morning, and then you're like, oh crap, it's daylight.

Yeah, it's a sad feeling when you see that sun coming.

My god, yes it is.

What do you think of these people that are that don't care about eating and all?

I don't understand that, And you know, I have a really hard way of describing I mean, they have a sad life, agreed. They go through life with body function and it's really I heat, I drink a shit, and they have absolutely no pleasure doing any of those. And it's it's kind of sad.

Someone that says they don't have a sweet tooth. I just immediately get angered, like, oh, you don't enjoyed eating something that tastes delicious?

I mean yeah, I mean the thing you know, sweet fat, you know, all those salty I mean this is what triggers all your emotion, you know. So yeah, if they don't like anything, it's it's really strange.

You know, when you were in New York. It was when you were a soush chef there. That's when you stumbled upon your chocolate chip cookie recipe. Am I right?

So the chocolate recipe is really jacktois and we improved with him and stuff.

Yeah, who was the one that deemed it the greatest chocolate chip cookie in the world. Who gave it that title?

I think at the time he was a New York Times.

I mean, that's a bold state.

I know, what are the things you like about chocolate chip cookies? Because that's always a big cause of debate for O the things you like about it? And what are the things you don't want in your chocolate?

First of all, I mean, as I'll start with it for me personally, and I care very much about chocolate chip cookies. And I don't even know that it's my favorite cookie, but I still I love it very much. And I've traveled everywhere. By the way, when I got married in Italy. Okay, I'm speaking of delicious food. Borgo Saner Pietro. I'm not sure they're a sponsor of this podcast, but if Borgo Sanra Piedro would like to sponsor this show.

Let me ask you, you want the call of the cookie to be soft?

Yes, But I'll be honest with you. I want everything soft. Rarely is a cookie out of the oven better than before it went into the oven. That's my that's my two cents. Listen. But that's the thing. What anybody says it's the greatest in the world, It's like, well, there's there's different there ever has different takes. And I'm an idiot, so I I.

Never agree on the base of the the base of that, you know. But you have to play the game too, you know.

And now in general, do you feel do you feel that you have to uh be extremely patriotic to your homeland. Do you have to like say that French food is the best food, not because it's not right?

Well, yeah, I mean there's a lot of good stuff.

There's great stuff, but it's not the But it's.

Not, you know, French. It is elevated the notion of going out and my sants and conviviality and all these two two are more how would you say, like, you know, bold thing. You know, so we advertise it better than other countries.

When I'm in When I'm in Paris, my wife gets so mad because people speak to me in French and speak to her in English. Because I know how to blend I know how to blend and like h. I even had a person that I stay with. He goes every day I tried to dress and he goes, oh, today, you look like a true Frenchman. I'd like, oh, I'm very excited to hear that. I love. I love France. They like to eat too late. I don't like that. I like to bea at a restaurant right when they

You're clean as you go. Uh huh that's right.

Let me tell you about a restaurant in France, in Paris that I ate at, and I want you to tell me I'm wrong. Everyone's I had to go there septeen so it's a hard restaurant to get into. Not a lot of Americans sitting in there, and I'm sitting there and I'm like, okay, I want to experience this. I'm very open minded. I enjoy good food. It was too much, it was too much, too much. I don't know what too much, too fancy, too, I don't know, like I don't need foam over some cold egg dish.

Huh.

I don't describe things as woodsy. But anyway, am I wrong? You love that restaurant.

It's a big debate right now, like about those restaurants that you know, how do you define fine dining? How do you define a good time in a restaurant? Is it you know, the deco? Is it the fancy food, is it the overly transformed food? Like you said, you know, there's a lot of restaurants like this. I think they go too far now.

And they won't do anything that's not from the region. So, like I wanted a dessert, I was like, Oh, is there anything that has chocolate or anything? No, because chocolate's not from France.

So I'm like, Okay, that's a little extreme, because I mean, are you going to deny you know, food because it's you know, it's coming from Spain or.

Don't get them started on Spain. That's the most expensive meal I've ever had in my life, where I was like, oh, I really did not enjoy that at all. Talk there's no good Mexican food in France.

Yeah, you're right, you know, I think it's changing a little.

Is it.

Yeah?

Do you like Mexican food?

I do?

That's so good.

I do.

Can you handle spices.

To a certain level, definitely more than an average French person, which have absolutely nottory owns whatever for spies. So yeah, I've travel so I've learned how to like sweat it out, you know.

Do you miss living in France?

Yes? And no French respect that quality of life. You know, they'll fight for it and that's their primary thing or quality of life. And when I go there, I appreciate that, you know, I appreciate that. Well, I'm sorry, I'm not going to you know, I'm down and I want to go home. That's it, you know. I mean my boss in New York used to say, in America, you know, you're like an orange. You know, we squeeze you to death and then we throw you out. We find someone else to do it. What a nice boss, I know.

I take I take vacations constantly. Yeah, it's literally almost all I do. I just vacation. And when I'm on vacation, I'm planning my next vacation. I work in locations just so I can vacation.

You have the luxury to do that, you know, because you know our songs. If you request the day out, they're like, who's going to cover your shift? Who's going to do this, who's going to do that? And they put the guilt on you. Like I have to say, like the I saw own business, it's probably like about a hundred and fifty years beyond everybody.

When people talk about restaurants, like it's so impossible for that business to survive. I'm always like, good, it shouldn't survive. It should I can't imagine wanting to cook the same thing every night for thirty years. That that's insanity, you know, crazy.

It's a tasting. You say that it was in New York and one of my cups and I had changed them, and you you know, and it came and he complained that it came like a few times. You really like that dish, and you know why I took it out of the And I'm like, well, I just cooked it thirty thousand times. Yeah you can to. You know, you come one twice a month and you enjoy it. I cook it every night, you know, hundreds of time. I'm like,

Here, well in Los Angeles, yeah, well see, well I live out, you know, pretty far out in Malibu, and there's just a small group of restaurants, and anytime one of them closes, I get excited because I'm like, good, there'll be a new restaurant exact entirely eating there anyway. Yeah, you worked at Bakara Instanta Barbara. That's right back when Bikara was nice. Now I know Bikar is not a sponsor, and I don't care because ever since the Ritz Carlton took over, you've fallen off. I don't want to be

It's beautiful, so beautiful, Oh my god, it's a classic.

And do you You get your room there and everything's included, your meal at the restaurant and everything like that. So that's when you start ordering like a crazy person. I got to get my money's worth. It so expensive. You worked at Bikar How long did you work there?

Foolios?

Uh huh? I mean did you come from New York too? Directly?

There?

See that's a good switch. The you were like you needed that after New York, like the Squeeze into the orange. Then you come to to Bakara and you're just.

Like you go from eight million people to eighty thousand. You know, it's like you eat the wall like full blast, you know. I mean I used to you know, finish and tried to get a glass of wine somewhere in town and it's like nine thirty and everybody's like oha close. I'm like what it took me a while to adjuss.

You ever read a nasty review about yourself? Oh yeah, what's the worst thing you can remember?

That was written by Guile Green, who was like really famous food rider off magazine, I mean, very well respected. And there was the time I was at the Cirk and we did a beef cheek raviry. This is the story of Ratitui. Go on, okay and you're gonna like this, And she wrote a review. So it was not for me personally, but for the restaurant because I was I was a there and she said that out there them they had to serve beef cheek gravierry. It's basically the

So this credit the review.

I was like, oh my god, I got crazy. You know. Just after that she writes a review now for me as a chef of Marasha.

Uh huh.

So it was Geny I and I was doing an event in Eastmpton and she calls me because she was going to write a review and she wanted to do a fact check. So she's like, hey, I mean I was like making blah blah blah, and I'm like, I don't want to talk to you. She's like, wow, I don't want to talk to you. I'm still upset about something.

I'm like, come on, I love it you hold a grudge. I love that you hold a grudge.

I mean it was a nice way. You know. I was not really me, but I wanted to make.

You make your point.

I made my point.

And what did she say? She apologized, Ah, there you go, Yeah, food allergies. What do you do when someone gives you a laundry list of things that can't be in their fit?

I remember there was a lady that came to our somewhere. I walked and the server comes in the kitchen and goes, Chef, I need to talk to you. Okay, what's the deal? And he gives me like a little kind of like a large business call laminated. You had the name of a doctor on top. I mean, he looks like very official, but who cares? And I didn't call the doctor and there's like seventeen ingredient listed.

Don't go to a restaurant.

He's like, what do you want me to tell? I'm like, I'm going to go tell. So I went in dying woman and said, listen, I have to apologize, but we're not going to be able to feed you tonight, you know, and we cannot even know for you a glass of why because you say your allergy to our call. So we'll be happy to give you a glass of water, right and stay with your friend. And she was a big party with seven people okay, and she stopped making a scene. You know, I go all the places they

I was like, good, I dated this girl. Just an amazing body. I mean I her last boyfriend was Hugh Hefner. Okay, yeah, she had a huge shellfish allergy. That's I mean, very dangerous. Has the EpiPen with her at all times? Where do I take her on our first date? A nice little seafood check restaurant? No way, Yes I do, Yes, I do. I want to see where I matt in the relationship. What does she order a baked potato? That's that's a true story. Oh why do you hang out with my

Or is it? This is the best part because I think most people are frighten him by cooking for me, you know, and you know for me when they cook for me, I'm like, I'm grateful they appreciate me. I appreciate them. I mean. And it's not the end result, it's it's the conviviality. It's being together, you know, sharing a meal.

All right? What's your favorite American fast food restaurant chain? Oh?

My god, I don't eat fast food?

You know what? The you know what? The answer that question is none of it. It's all horrible. Have you ever had fast food from a fast food restaurant? Yes? Which restaurant?

In and out?

In now?

Oh?

Well, I mean if you're now that you say that out loud, it's like, I mean, I turn a blind eye to that. That's that's nice.

Yeah, it was in Okay and it was invited by Julia Child.

How messed up is That's amazing? That's an amazing stay you from New York, so I moved to. She's like, oh, maybe, so nice to see you.

Let's go to in and out.

No, She's like, I'll twitch you. Let's go on a date. Let's go for lunch. And I'm like driving and I'm like where we're going? Oh, keep going, keep going, and.

Then she just did you go? Did you go inside? Yes? You said in the boot they give you little hats. You could have worn one of the little hats there.

The best party is like, you know, their kids in there, and then I have no clue. Of course, Julia child word. So only the older people, like the parents or whatever, they're like, oh my god, child. And I remember all the lady because I paid, you.

Know, oh such a gentleman.

Yeah, mean god. And but the person at the cash to be like your grandma forgot a couple of soda. Your grandma was like, but you know what I mean. She was. She was as stole as me. You know, she was like six one or six two. Oh yeah, yeah, she was a giant woman.

That's great.

I remember coming in the kitchen like in New York, you know, once and she's like, oh, I mean I love you you one. All the few cook who still cook with butter. She was a collecter.

You ever you ever eat it a buffet in Vegas?

Yeah? Yeah, I don't have to be able to know. You have to be able to experience all those big Like I said, those big I mean I can think, you know, I cannot say I've been to Vegas and I only eat in in three style Michelin Star, which is nice, but I also have to experience. Okay, what is the big deal with the buffet? You know?

And you how is your experience?

Oh my god, it's almost disgusting. I mean to see this.

Do you think that you think that it is disgusting? When I used to start working in Vegas when I was a young comedian, I loved it.

No.

No, I didn't get to eat at the buffet. I had to eat in the buffet in the basement with all the employees. Like it'd be like the women with the headdresses on coming through and we're all just shoveling food under our plates. And I was like, this is as sad as it can get. But I would do it because it's free. Exactly do you eat sandwiches?

I do.

I love a sandwich.

A good sandwich is good. I love a sandwich, but it has to be like the right proportion, the right take shues, perfect bread. Yeah, the bread is the key, you know, because it's just too hot you kind of bite it.

What do you think of wraps, wraps, upset?

Yeah, wraps is dumb. Raps is good for like testless vegan people.

I'm not said your personal chef, now.

Yes I am.

Do you prefer that?

I mean it was It was never something I really wanted to do, you know. It was the fact that the pandemic hit and whatever I was doing like the bottom like everybody else. And I was lucky that this person came and say, hey, you pay your dues for a while, come with me out of hell.

Oh, let's talk about this. I want to talk about personal chef. I want to know what's accessible to people and what's not. How many meals are you cooking a week for them? Are you there every day seven days a week? They're five days a week, three days a week now three days a week. All right, so you're open for business. You could take on another round, Like if I wanted three meals a week, a nice dinner entree, the whole nine nice fish wanted you to do the

And for four people, let's say the cheapest would be seven on bright okay two, you know it could be a lot higher.

So sure, all right, it's about seven hundred. I'm going to be on the cheaper end. I feel my taste are probably on the cheaper end there. And you do present it and serve it or no.

So it depends. You know, some people want it, plate it because they want to fancy dinner. They have, you know, really high profile guests like my boss. Okay, once he has a profile. Guess, so he's played. I have servers. I mean, we do the whole thing. When it's family, we do it family started, Okay, when it's just a family.

Is your client? Is your client a celebrity not per se?

Uh huh okay, I mean he's a very successful business post business.

What kind of business are they in?

I would say biotech?

Okay, I'm no longer interested.

Now.

Your specialty is fish.

That's what I like to cook.

Do you get buy? Do you do all the shopping I do? Where's the best place to get fish in LA?

I mean, it really depends what you're looking for.

Shrimp cocktail.

Who doesn't like a shrimp cock I don't.

Order a shrimp cocktail. That's disgusting. Everyone talks about like, oh, this is the perfect chef's kitchen. What do you actually want? What's what's a great kitchen?

If you see Jones's kitchen.

John's house is that I get lost. I've never I can't imagine the footprint of his house is so confusing. But no, every room I'm walking too is like I just renovated this. I'm like, oh, it looks great. But then you go into that one room where the two little kids are in little cages next to each other. That's kind of scary having twins, as.

I had twin sisters.

Did you older younger older? I guess I might be a little No.

No, it was not cool.

No, because I was like a toy that was a toy for a Whow that's good. Do they do they enjoy your cooking?

Yeah?

They do, that's good.

No, everybody in my family enjoyed my cooking, that's for sure.

Do they force you to cook when you guys get together?

They don't force me. But I feel like, you know they're they're not always couldn't I incline. I mean they appreciate good things, they don't have the skills sometimes, so I let them plan and then I help.

It's really funny how it's such a skill, Like you think, oh, you can read, so you should be able to cook, and the two don't go hand in hand. Do you know what I'm saying. I don't mean to simplify to that level, but it's like, if you give me step by step instructions, I still will not make a meal that taste anywhere the way it should.

Yeah, And that's kind of like what it is with my sisters. I mean, they have shit great food. They won't the good food. So you know what I do is I go shopping with them.

I still, I still won't do it. I just i'd rather there's no the money is worth it. Grocery shopping alone is the worst thing ever.

Even for me.

You know what I will, I would pay a fortune for someone a service. I want somebody to invent this. I want someone to bring me four pieces of fruit every day to my house. That's because all I do is throw fruit away because it's no longer good. And I just want every day four pieces set on my doorstep somebody do that. They used to for milk. They used to put milk on people's doorsteps. Why can't somebody put four pieces of fruit every day?

Crazy?

The milk at the door That is pretty stupid. I was like, And apparently all they were doing was banging the moms. Wow, good, no one, it was a good gig. What about relationships with people? Physical? Sexual relationships?

When you spend ten twelve hours cruise to people? Yes, he gets pretty?

Do you ever while having sex? Do you ever? Yeall corner?

You're watching too much TV?

Do you watch the Bear?

Oh? My god, this is the this is.

The question everyone asked me.

This is the question.

It's so intense. They all seem like they're on the verge of a breakdown. Gosh, it was accurate in some level.

Label and the level disconnection between every character. Yeah. I mean the first season, I have to say, I was like, oh shit, I couldn't go to sleep.

Talk to me about cooking shows? Do you hate them? Do you like them? Do you find them entertaining? Do you watch them?

I mean I do watch a few of them, but I haven't in a while.

I like the Great British Baking Show. I know that you prefer. I know you prefer the French version.

I do.

I'm not gonna watch that, though.

It's interesting to watch in I don't know why, but there is some time the Breech version I'm very impressed and sometime I'm like, come on, you shouldn't even put this on TV.

Well, I just I mean, it's a sweet show. Just rarely is there a show where everyone's positive and nice to each other. It's true, and it's not about insulting. And then, for goodness sakes, that Paul Hollywood. He does a handshake and that's the biggest deal in the world to people, right, that guy Fiery? You ever met that guy?

I did?

Is it true that his hair is made from cheese?

With?

Why is Michelin the tire company in charge of telling us what the fanciest food in.

The world is? Yeah, well they've done it for like.

Why why is the two things?

Because he never started for the general public. He was he started for their ripes. When they were going in at the beginning of the twentieth century, when they were going from town to town tried to sell tires. The guys would stop making notes like, oh, next time you're in that region, stop that for runch.

Well, who gives a shit what this dumb tire salesman thinks is good food?

I mean, yeah, before you're like a tire company, but.

I don't still mean something. Everyone still talks. Oh it's the Michelin Star.

Is the oldest, mostly established one.

What about Zagat? Remember Zago was a Zagat. I think WoT culture canceled that.

I mean it's my accent, I guess yeah. I mean Zagat was pretty good because you had a rating for the service. You had a rating for the ambiance, you know that decor and all this, and you had a rating for the food. So by reading like the few little lines, you had a general consensus of what you were getting into, you know.

Right, versus Yelp, where Yelp is just people complaining that they didn't get enough fucking eggs.

Oh my chair was wobbling.

It's not a useful review. Yeah. I look at Yelp and I'm like, if if the reviews don't say, like, oh, they refuse to serve Asian people, then I'd be like, oh, I'm glad they wrote that. I won't go there. But if you're going to complain that the meal was five dollars overpriced. I'm like, I don't care. I don't want to read three paragraphs. Yet I do. I still read it.

And that's one thing I never actually, I never ever read YELP because it's just a waste of time.

I disagree with you on one thing, because then I can at least look at photos. If I can look at photos of the restaurant inside, I can get a feel if I look how they printed their menu. If their menu looks disgusting, I can you know a bad font, a bad font? I'm out.

But now you have so many ways of getting this. I mean, you have so many you have better pictures.

Whatever, it's easy. That's how I use it for some things. I'm just saying I still use it for something. Tell me some overrated restaurants here in.

La Oh I don't do that.

Okay, Fine, I'm going to tell you some restaurant. Because fine, I'm going to tell you some restaurants that I eat at, And you tell me what if it's over Georgio Baldi, Okay.

You had to eat this one first. Yeah for me, it's it's overrating.

Okay, the sweet corn ravioli very delicious? Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, dar all right, you have you ate it? Fia in Santa Monica. F I A, yes, it's beautiful. It's a beautiful that's beautiful as date night. My wife makes me take her on date night. Our rule is once a month, I have to take my wife on a date. It's a dumb rule. Why I just like I'd rather not go out. I know, I know. If she didn't say you have to take me out once a month, I

John and Vinnie's dresself.

I think remember when you said you weren't gonna say if things were overrated, and then I say the restaurants, and you immediately say that they're overrated.

Because like you say the right songs.

I don't want to tell you that's fine. Fair. Felix in Venice is good. It's good. One not to get in, but thank you. Let me tell you something about it. So I take my wife there occasionally to Felix. Sometimes I'll have my assistant make my reservation and they'll make two reservations.

Right, So what time you get in when you always aition.

I don't know, five six something that silly. But if it's sometimes I say, you have to put it under my name, not that it gives you anything, but at least it's it's my name. They'll give me a better table, right, But sometimes it gets put under her name or and I lost my mind because then I had a garbage table on the back. That's my biggest complaint with restaurants. I understand it's the margin for profit is impossible. I understand that I don't want to sit two inches away

And that's so is my point. You know, if you if your business model is not sustainable to be so what do you how do you define fine dining? Intimacy, the ambiance? But if you'l so close to each other and you charging high price, well maybe there's something. Do you need the volume or you need this? You know? And that's yeah, it's a small mounting.

Yeah, what do you think of nobu?

Noboo? Is nobody's a chain?

Ah? Look at that. It's a change your final meal before you die. What are you having?

I haven't decided yet. I'm not already to die yet.

No good, I'm thinking about I have a big burrito just because I want to make a mess.

Yeah, I never heard that.

What about chili? Do you make chili?

Yeah? I do?

I love chili.

Yeah.

Just I'm just feeling you out for things I like, do you ever make a brookie?

I have?

You've made a brookie? That's the stupidest thing I know.

I still don't get it.

What are you talking about? You don't get it. It's a brownie and a cookie. It's a brookie.

Yeah?

Do you?

Uh?

Do you ever make a queen? Aman? Are they difficult?

That tweaky? I mean, I wouldn't say difficult, but yeah, just a lot of sugar and butter.

I know, I want you one once a week at the farmer's market. I go to the farmer's market and there's a pastry person there and I got a queen them on and I'm like, you're good for the weekend, No, just for that day you get I have I have a See. I come from a line of sweet tooths. Okay, my grandfather was a baker. I had a bakery, had a couple of bakeries, and and and my dad bakes. And I've always enjoyed baking. And I've always just every meal I have, I can eat a dessert, no matter

Well, you know what I mean, it makes sense. You know, this is how you hand the meal. Yeah, you know, I saw especially. Yeah, I feel for me the last thing, either the little petty fool, the mignalis, the desert that You're right, that's what's going to set it up. Because if you put all that effort to do the beginning and then you hand up on a whoop note, it.

Just kills every Asian restaurant horrible desserts.

I know what's up with that?

That's too funny. All right, tell me about your famous candlee.

What about the candie?

First of all, what the fuck is a candie?

What the fuck is a candilee. It's nothing. It's kind of like a kool yana of bodo. You know, it's very sweet. It's a texture thing. So the outside is really crunchy. The in stye is kind of guy. You might not like it. You don't like country.

I can hint no, I just don't like a crunchy cookie.

But the Santa is kind of like soft and guey, and the external is very crunchy.

And how did you perfect it?

By errors?

You're very protective. You won't let anybody know how you actually make them. Correct.

Well, I will tell them how to make them. But it takes a little more than that to do that, because it's it's really a game of patience. And really, I mean I did some today. Okay, so you're going to try it?

Oh wow, do I have anything? Use me? Look at this presentation?

Is that the best cookie in now?

All right? It looks good to me? And that's fine? How dare you? It's beautiful? It's a beautiful cookie. My wife she's always like, whenever she makes chocolate, I make chocolatechip cookies for her. She doesn't want a lot of chocolate in it. And I'm like, what, that's what I'm excited about it.

I think in no ICP there's more chocolate than flower.

Really. Now I'm a fan. I'm a fan. Oh that's good stuff. Yeah, that's good stuff. You know what grosses me out the most about food shows is watching people eat. Yeah, it's disgusting.

Mm hm hm you know what you're doing? Yeah, of course, an amazing cookie. This is the best cook I've ever had in my life. That's a crazy thing to ask. I don't know, but I would. I'd pay five dollars for this for one cookie. That's fair at a farmer's market. That's fair.

That's a good price. Do you ever sell your cookies? No? I know?

A stupid o me?

All right, now this How are you supposed to eat this? Are you supposed to bite it? Anything? Fancy? What do I need to know about this?

It is very crunchy outside, and.

It's gonna be like putting in the insider? No? Is it gonna spill?

No?

Do I need to cleanse my palate before?

No?

No?

I mean yeah, you don't want your tongue to be cooked and chocolate before you do that. Yeah.

I don't even know what I'm about to taste at all? What if I don't like it, if.

You don't have to finish it, oh you mm hm oh the smile.

I like it. I love it. Here's the thing. I could eat nothing but dessert until I die, and just like I know, my life wouldn't be long.

But you'd be nice.

Yeah, that's really good. That's really mean. Well, you've got to listen. Thank you very much. This is exciting, chef Remy. This is this is the way to my heart. A chocolate chip cookie. I appreciate everything. Thanks. Okay, that was four family, Pasha. That was a great interview. I want a thank Remy. He's an amazing chef. Had him over my house recently. He kicked your water bowl over That made you very mad. He doesn't drop a lot of food either. That also upset you. Carl My dog carls

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