My Little Ballerina - Brianna Abruzzo

Did you ever like a black swan I have to rip your own toenails off? No, thank god, you've never done that.

No, but they have fallen off while on point. I heard it.

Crack mm hmm.

Yeah, Cosh shaw, cosh shush show show.

Welcome to the Hodown. I'm your host, Daniel Tosh. Let's get it going. If you think your sister fine, grabber, wear the Sundo Giant.

If you figure because it's sweet, then you can you lit your feet.

Oh man, it's good to be back ed. How are you.

I'm good?

How are you good? Man? I'm doing great. Before I start the show, Eddie, I want to say congratulations to the Michigan Wolverines for kicking the dog shit out of the national champion Ohio State buck Eyes.

Yeah.

That's got to feel good, right, You win the national championship and then Michigan has to be like, yeah, well we beat you badly. Who do you hear that we were an answer on Jeopardy?

I did hear this?

No, man, it was a a just ask Spindly comedian Daniel A load of I guess it was a load of Tosh. By the way, Spindley, that's not a compliment. But you're allowed to You're allowed to throw those adjectives around when it's a thin person. You think you think had I been tipping the scales the other direction, they would have been like, just ask this fat fuck portly. That would have been better than Yeah, they probably wouldn't have put fat fox. They probably would have went portly,

I loved it? Thank you.

How'd you sleep last night?

I slept so well?

You serious?

Yeah?

She slept in the airstream, guys, luxury. Your last name a Bruiso. That's Italian, right, Yes? You grew up in New York, I did. Did you say I'm walking here?

No?

You never screamed I'm walking here. My son says it now. It makes me laugh. That's amazing, I'm walking here.

But I do have a good New York accent?

You do? And do you only turn it on just whenever you're there?

Whenever I want?

That's so bad. It really is a horrible accent.

Terrible.

I used to think at school accent your dad. Yeah, but I'll get in your father later, find it well. I've always found him fascinating. You know. It was a man that you know it was it was it all stocks? Is that all? Yeah? And just insider trading. Tons and tons of illegal stuff went on? I hope not no, no, but he like just figured the market out. He was a mathematician. I don't think I knew that he has.

A brilliant math mind.

Yeah, yeah, what he guys, if you want to hate your life, Like just made a ton, got to forty and said I'm done. I'm not gonna work ever again.

Retired at forty two.

Yeah, well I'm forty nine. I'm still working, as you can tell. But who has more money? Me or your father?

You do?

I are you sure?

I'm pretty sure?

Oh? Thank god, I can quit. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes?

No, you don't?

I do?

Do you really? Yeah? God? Your ding bet? Do you have proof?

I just believe they're real? Okay, yeah, but why why wouldn't they be real?

Oh god, I don't think it's It's on you to prove that they are real, not me, to prove that something that doesn't.

Exist does energy cannot be destroyed once it's created.

I like, this cannot be destroyed? That is that is a load of tosh if I've ever heard it? Right there? You know the joke I used to always pretend, way before I was ever married, way before I even was dating my wife, that I would tell people that I had a ballerina wife. That was my joke. I have always had a fascination with ballet. Okay, okay, I don't know. I don't know where it came from the thing is I've never been to the ballet. Is that weird too? Okay,

I think you should go to Paris or Russia and see the ballet.

There and not going to Russia, and then you will SOB. You're kidding me. I've already I've made jokes about Putin. There's no chance I ever get on a planet. Have you been to Russia? No, No, don't go to Russia. I'll go to a ballet in Paris. That's a great idea. Yeah. Do you like Paris?

I do?

I do too. Yeah, I don't know. There's just some there's something so I think the mystique of ballet, so you know, it's sad and depressing and.

Some little pain goes into it, and it's just.

I mean, I don't even know what. Yes, I guess maybe my perspective from watching movies and the portrayal of what you guys go through that I just I'm fascinated by it. Thanks, just so I'm aware. Are the Nutcracker and Swan Lake the only ballets? No, I've never heard of any others. You heard of any others?

My favorite is Seranad Serenad. Yeah, you have to see it.

I'm gonna see. Have you seen Sarahad Eddie?

No?

I never heard of it. Okay, how does ballet work? Like? How do I know what's going on? Is there dialogue?

No dialogue? But there's pantomime.

Are you good at that?

It's not like a set language that you can be good at.

Well do they teach you?

Yeah, it's choreography that you learn.

Huh.

But every pantomime and every different ballet is different.

Are you amazing at charades? Pretty good? I mean you sing too? Have you sang your whole life? Yeah?

I have? Actually?

Okay? Yeah, like because you can sing some of these answers if you'd like, Just so I get like a sampling of how musical theater works. Okay, when did you start ballet?

When I was three? But I hated it?

You hated it?

Yeah? My teacher is really mean, very strict.

Why would you have a mean teacher at three? It seems so counterproductive to the sport Russian. Did your mother let you quit or did she force you to continue?

I had to finish out the year.

Yeah, it's weird how parents have that. My wife tried to do that with my son because he wanted to playing t ball and he's like, I don't I don't want to play. I just want to get the trophy. And I'm like, buddy, I say we quit and we show up for the last game and we get the trophy. I had no issue with his plan. And then I was scolded for bad parenting. So your mother made you finish out the year? And then when did you get back into it?

When I was nine?

Oh? Is that late? Is it actually eight? Is that late?

No, it's not late.

But I've taken seriously big gap.

And my sister actually went to the School of American Ballet.

Was she a good dancer? But you were so much better than your right? Were you immediately better than her? She's fine, she's got a great sense of humor.

Well, she stopped after two years.

Because because the writing was on the wall that she was cumbersome, she.

Just she pursued figure skating. Actually, oh that's right, which I can't do.

So, yeah, you went to a fancy high school. Your mother ripped you, ripped you from regular school and said you are going to go to this fancy school in New York City. But what were the wanted to go there? Oh? Of course you did. It probably cost a fortune, probably, and you didn't have to take any tests and you could miss school constantly. We had to take tests you did. Yeah, do you know simple mass?

Barely?

What's seven times seven forty nine? Is it? Yeah? Yep?

What's the square root of one hundred and forty four?

Uh, let's see nine twelve? Oh and far off? By the way, how was this high school? Bullshit?

It was great. It was actually like the only way I could go get a real education while training for ballet.

How horrible is training for ballet?

It's really intense?

How many hours a day? As like, when you're in your your what are you? Is this okay? To say are you past your peak.

For ballet? I would say I'm past my okay?

Yeah, okay, Well I don't want to I don't want to insult you, like you know.

I'm also not trying to be a prima valeria right now, right?

Okay, So when you were in your peak, how much training is involved in hours a day?

Yeah? So like your last few years of high school. You have class at ten thirty and then another one at two thirty, and then you have rehearsals in the afternoon and potentially a performance of some sort.

Well, how many hours a day are you doing dance or related things?

Three to five or six.

Three to fives, three to five or six. It doesn't seem that hard, I mean, if you love it. Yeah, I want to surf three to six hours a day when I was in high school. Nobody's nobody's freaking out over my work ethic. Yeah, no, I'm not impressed.

But then when you're working, you're dancing.

Seven days a week six Yeah. What's the average career length of a professional ballet dancer?

From about eighteen to thirty five?

Oh, it seems pretty good. I can't really complain. Why you guys always complaining How often did you have to buy shoes?

Point? Shoes depends how much you dance, but a lot of dancers use one a week or one a show.

Okay, Yeah, what do they cost? A good pair of Points shoes one hundred and twenty five and they're not provided by the company.

They're provided by the company.

Yeah, what age do you start on point?

At my school, we start at twelve, okay, and we do like one year of just like simple relevase at the bar, like a whole year just to gain ankle strength.

Were you strong on point?

Yeah?

By the way, are your feet all messed up like everyone this year?

It's not that bad.

You got a bad toe? I do like a grandpa kind of you know, it's like, oh, I got one toe? Is it because of ballet or just just a fungus that you haven't taken care of.

No, it's not a fungus. It just I squeezed my feet into point shoes for so many years that one of them is just like stuck.

Did you ever like a black swan I have to rip your own toenails off? No, thank god, you've never done that.

No, but they have fallen off while on point. I heard it.

Crack mm hmm, yeah, disgusting. I know. Do you never complain about high heels because of your life?

I hate high heels?

Oh you don't like high now? Are you good in them?

Or no, Yeah, I'm good in them, but they're really uncomfortable on my toes because, like I said, my toe is jammed forever.

Well, I don't know, but is it jammed in the right way or the wrong way.

For high end? Yeah, it's actually my foot is better on point than it is in a heel.

You're kind of like a knuckle dragger toes.

Well, your toa should be straight on point.

Okay, yeah, I thought you're like going like.

This, Yeah, you know, like kind of more straight.

You're just on top of them.

Yeah, but your arch is so strongly it sticks out.

How hard is it to stay in ballets shape?

It's really hard because you have to keep doing it to maintain. Basically, if you're not going to class every day, then you're losing your ability.

Can you do the splits at any time?

Yeah?

Like that? That's not uncomfortable for you?

You don't know?

Okay? Am I wrong? Or is it right? That? Right now? With my daughter who is just a year and a half, that I'm starting to push or splits farther and farther every day. Should I not be doing that?

I think you should.

I got to get her there, stretch her feet too. Stretch. What do I have to do to the thief?

Stretch them so that they touched the ground.

Even if she's crying.

Whenever you see a tear, then you can stop.

Oh god, the reality of that that you know that exists, Oh my goodness, that's terrifying. Talk about a dancer's typical diet.

Everyone's really different. It just depends on their body and their metabolism.

What are people having to get on the scale like.

In front of No, they don't do that anymore, but I was definitely.

When did they do that years ago? In your lifetime of ballet?

Now?

Okay before you, before me? So you weren't pre Brie. Okay pre Bri. I don't even like to think of a world pre Brie.

But I was definitely called in to have the fat talk.

Okay, let's talk about the fat talk. First of all, you're a tiny person, so okay, that's off the table. But you think, or maybe I'm wrong, but that you were kick out of the Miami City Ballet at one point because of being too heavy.

Yeah, that's correct.

But do you know it to be true or it's just a hunch you have. I know it to be true, which is weird because Miami we like them thick. It is weird, honestly, first of all, can we because you're never supposed to ask these questions, but I feel like I need to. What was your weight back then? Or five? Five?

Yeah?

Okay? And what would be what would they say on your weight should be?

I got hired when I weighed one to ten.

It's that goddamn food run.

The ran the company was a woman, so that kind of hurt even deeper. But she called my mother and told my mother that I gained twenty pounds.

Twenty pounds yeah when it was only five.

Yeah.

But in fairness, like freshman five in ballet is equivalent. I don't know, I'm trying to justify it.

I mean, I think in a leotard everything does show a lot more than in like street clothes.

But did it affect your dance? Did five pounds affect your day?

No, it didn't affect my dance. But I was also diagnosed with PCOS at that time, so that was like something I was dealing with that was affecting my weight.

I don't know what that is.

Polycystical variant syndrome. Oh yeah, it's just like a hormone disruptor.

Does that cause a five pound weight gain?

It can, because insulin resistance can be a part of it too. That like makes your body retain water and like retain weight.

Do you hold a grudge?

No, I am happy that I ended up leaving the company and pursued other things, But I was not proud of the way that she handled the situation and the way that she treated other people.

You saw eating disorders. Oh yeah, that's probably huge.

Right, yeah, Well, especially when you have a director who wants the dancers really really thin.

And that's the thing. You're like, oh, no, so and so is directing this, We're all in trouble.

Well, she was just the creative director of the whole company.

At what weight is going on? Point? Not advised? You know, because now there's plus sized models. Has that infiltrated the ballet world where there's now plus sized dancers?

No, there aren't plus sized dancers, But I would say more and more every year, it's becoming like more acceptable to be a healthy weight. But that depends, like company to company. Every company is different.

Do they want the guys this then, or do they not care?

No, they bring them cupcakes? Man?

Is it It really is a man's world. We get cupcakes, they're over there purgein. Do you jump on a scale? Now? Yeah you do? Do you care?

No?

I make my wife get on the scale every Thursday.

Do you measure her as well?

Her height? Oh? No, you just met all the parts? Did they do that?

No?

Did they ever measure you? Yes they did.

Did you measure your he They measured us for costumes?

Okay?

Yeah?

You ever had diarrhea on stage?

Thankfully not.

Do you know anybody that's ever had such an accident?

No? I've had like wardrobe malfunctions.

What does that mean? Just your crotches out, your costume like falls off while you're dancing?

Yeah?

Ah, was it the best show of your life?

It's pretty fun.

By the way, I just learned this, and tell me if I'm wrong. But a female dancer was a ballerina. A male dancer is a danceeer, a male dancer or a male ballet dancer.

Male ballet dancer.

Yeah, my research has also a dance tour. But if you don't know that, then it's not true that all right? Whatever, we think a better than ballerinos, Yeah.

I think so too.

Ballerinos, Yeah, are all dancers sleeping with each other?

Uh? The men?

Yeah? Oh? Just the gayness? Yeah? Are they all gay? What percentage of the male it's just your your ballpark in it here, ninety percent of them are gay? Yeah, I would say you think it's an it's which came first, chicken of the egg. Does ballet make you gay?

No?

Or do gay men? They're just drawn to ballet. I'm drawn to ballet, but I guess I don't. I just like it and to watch I don't.

I mean there are straight ballet dancers.

Too, But are they not as good?

No, they're good. Yeah.

They're always trying to hit on the girl the ballet Yeah.

Yeah, they get all the girls.

Oh, they do get them all.

Yeah.

Have you ever dated? Have you ever dated a ballerino? No?

Never wanted to.

What about an instructor, a teacher?

No?

Never, never. No lines are blurred ever. Do you look at their hogs when they're wearing those outfits?

I try not to.

But you see them all day, aren't you? Guys just always naked backstage, just all of you at all times in.

The dressing room.

Yeah, I would be.

So is it different than any sport?

I wouldn't know. I never did that, Like I was the kid that like changed real secretively in the corner rest. No, it depends. I mean, that's the beauty of being a woman on some level. Nobody's ever like, oh my goodness, look at how shorts your vagina is, right, you know, it's it's it's a different anxiety as a man. I dread it to this day. To this day, I still have a note signed by my mother that excused me from showering in the lockers after pe class.

Wow.

Yeah, I have had this debate for so long with anybody that listens, and nobody cares. Why is ballet not in the.

Olympics Because it's an art?

Okay, they have like every type of dance, like gymnastics, they have that dancing, not just the gymnastics, but the dancing whatever. All of it is dumb figure skating just a dumb, dumber form of ballet. It's it's crazy that ballet is all about Like there are tons of experts that are like, that was precise, that was not but and that's all that's all gymnastics is judging. Why are you on the fucking wrong side of this one? How

I don't think break dancing should be an Olympics.

It shouldn't.

But here's the issue though, if you make it a sport, then it's going to take out all of the artistry because people are just going to be focused on completing a technicalities than like showing there you're wrong. Okay.

Too many sports in the Olympics are based purely off judging diving. All of that is is how your body is turning, how it enters.

So that's so artistry is so subjective.

I know you're going to have people that are going to be upset, but are there not the best ballerinas in the world that you're like, she's the best, they're the top. Yeah, right, so there's a reason that you know that person is better than the other person.

Yeah.

So there are definitely judges that could say this person on this particular dance was better than this person on that particular dance. And yes, it's subjective, but it still should be people dancing for their country. Oh I stand by this, okay. And you're surfings in the Olympics. That's purely judged, and that's artistry in the water. I can't believe you so mad at you do dancers suffer long term injuries from all the impacts?

Yes?

Well why are you laughing?

Emotional? Physical?

No? But I mean I mean, like like a football player. When you see a football player in their fifties, it's kind of sad. You're like, oh, the knees, the joints. Do dancers have that same problem later in life or not as much?

Some and some dance forever and they're in great shape. Like one of my ballet teachers was seventy two and she had more energy than me and went out tango dancing at night.

And is there steroids in the ballet? People do it? I bet I know it. I think they do. I mean, you don't get tested as a ballerina right now, so you're allowed to use steroids since it's art. I guess this is where you're probably, this is where you have so many holes in your argument. You should you should be all jacked up on steroids.

But then you would be too swol.

No, No, we'll moderate it. I will figure it out. Your jumps will get a little higher. Blah blah bla.

I mean my cancers used to take a lot of coke.

Coke. Yeah, back in the time, you done cocaine. Never never, never look at me. Never. If I put cocaine on the table right now, I don't even know what to do. Would you take some of it? Wouldn't even know what to do with it? You would know what to do with it? What is that? If I gave you just I'm not saying a lot of cocaine, just a little bit of cocaine right now, you're gonna do some cocaine.

I don't even take caffeine.

You don't mean either, like Mormons? Did you like living in Miami?

Not particularly?

I lived in South Peach for a while. You didn't I once I no longer lived there, right, it was like I was like, oh that was fun. But I mean when I was there, like.

The weird place to live. Yeah, yeah, that's for sure, because everyone's partying and you're going to work.

When I think about I used to go shoot, you know, I had this interview show at nightclubs, like we wouldn't leave to go to some nightclubs till two in the morning. And I'm just when I wrap my head around that now, I'm like, couldn't be me?

I went to one club once for about ten minutes, and I was like, never again.

Was your family more proud when you landed a gig as a dancer at the Miami City Ballet or when your sister was hired as a post production assistant on Tosh point zero because both organizations are prestigious in their field. Sorry, Lauren, they were more proud of the Miami City Ballet.

I think, so okay, But they also put a lot of money into my training, so maybe that was what.

Do you ever have a dollar figure on how much they've spent on you?

No?

Do you want to know if I said they spent three hundred thousand on your ballet career from birth till now, would you be like, Oh, that sounds low or.

That sounds high?

That sounds high? Yeah, I'm just ballparking it. I don't know. It's not a sport that a lot of poor people can get in.

It's not.

It's not an art form that a lot of poor people can get into.

No, but there are scholarships.

But to get good to get a scholarship takes a lot of sacrifice that a lot of poor people might not be able to have.

Correct.

Yeah, the only time I've ever seen a poor person in ballet is in a movie where like, look at this poor person that's doing ballet, and she's a little different and edgier. It's a dumb bag story. Always she's trying to incorporate hip hop into ballet. It's never going to work. What's your favorite ballet movie?

Center Stage?

Oh? Yeah, that's good.

Yeah.

Did you ever see the show Tiny Pretty Things?

Yes?

Okay, I watched Tiny Pretty Things.

Auditioned for it.

You auditioned for it? Yeah, I would have loved for you to have been in that show. Now talk about gay porn. Oh yeah, there were just dudes on dudes the whole way through that thing. I don't really understand the show. They pushed somebody off like an eight story building and she lived. Yeah, she was in a coma the whole time. Now, the show is weird. I watched it, though, it wasn't meant for me.

Definitely not the demographic.

No, I'm some forty year old dude watching this young ballet show. Did you guys watch it? No? You remember bun Heads. Yeah, A group of the writers on Tosh point zero all would watch it together and then they would live tweet during the show just about bun heads and things that were going on, and they thought it was the greatest thing. Will you always be a bunhead?

Yeah?

Is the ballet world really like the movie Black Swan? Also off topic me, lacunis, do you think she and her rape apologists husband get wrapped up in this Diddy disaster?

Part one? Yes and no okay and part two no comment.

Aw, they're in there, that's gonna happen. By the way, your sister worked for me. Your sister originally when she first came into my life, she was an assistant for the clip clearance guy. This guy is just like he would clear the videos that were on the show. I also threw up on your sister on camera, that was her first appearance. That was nice. But then she worked under my stylus, Carrie, and she clothed me for many years. Lauren.

No, you don't know quite as much hair as too much hair.

I just remember that your age gap is a little you're seven eight years apart.

Yeah, I'm going to save the marriage.

Baby, how'd that work?

Not great?

It didn't save the Did you cause your parents to separate?

Maybe?

Were you ever competitive with your sisters or with a gap so big that it didn't know?

And she was always so supportive?

Yeah she really is.

Yeah.

I mean I knew about your career long before I ever met you, just because of how much she talked about you. I was like, shut up, no one gives a shit about this. Ballerina. Do more people call you bri or Brianna.

My closest friends call me bri Your closest friends Cammy Brie.

Am I your closest friend? No, no, I'm not. I'll stick to Brianna. I think Brianna's fancy. And it's like it's almost all the same letters as Ballerina. Do you ever notice that, speaking of letters, you're engaged. Congratulations to a tiny fellow. Uh, everyone in her family he was in munchkin Land. He's not. He's a normal person, but everyone in their family they always just refer to Brianna and her fiancee a j as as. Oh, there's just so cute and tiny, which I always is very average. Yeah,

Super fun?

You live in New York City. Then you moved right at the pandemic or before the pandemic August, so smack dab in the pandemic Okay, to Nashville, a city that exploded during the pandemic. A lot of people talk about, like, oh, the mass exodus out of California or into Texas and Florida. When people talk about Nashville how it exploded, I'm like, I saw it from my own eyes. I'd go there. I'm like, good God, this has changed.

The housing market has like tripled.

Did you guys buy when you were there? No, you didn't even score nothing. But did you enjoy living in Nashville?

Yeah?

Why did you? A New York ballerina, Broadway singer, all of that, Why would you go to Nashville?

Well, during the pandemic, my whole career was just shut down. Okay, the whole business. So I went to Nashville for AJ's music career, and there's just so much of that. There's a lot of art. There's like something for everyone.

It's very there's nothing for ballerinas.

Nothing really for ballerinas. But it's a very like just small, manageable town. It's a lot easier. Just everything's easier. You can get in your car and get your groceries.

What are you happy to be gone? Would you? Are you glad that you're left Nashville behind me.

Bittersweet for sure, but I'm happy to be back more in my business. In the scene where.

Yeah, it was like, it was like, listen, fiance, we've been living for your dream long enough. Let's go back to the bread and butter.

Sort of guid and sense.

Now, if you had your your druthers here, would you rather your fiance make it huge? Okay? Or you make it pretty well off? Like not not to the absolute top, but wow, what a career the first Yeah, you're a liar, can't believe it. You're just like a Hallmark movie. Give everything away for somebody else. It's just knows. You gotta be selfish, no one listen.

If you's to make it all the way, then that's gonna help me, of course.

But that's not what you want. You guys want to have a family and that kind of stuff. Yeah, Are you going to torture your children into the to the art form that you loved so much at one point?

No, if they want to, I will encourage them and stretch their feet, but I will hope that they are good at other things.

You and age, you just sit around all day and just sing to each other. I hear you do not all day.

I hear you guys do sometimes like you guys like it, Like I mean he's a musician. He might sit at the piano and play a song.

Yeah, but even when other people are like come over for like wine, and you guys just sing that it's really cute. That is the silliest thing. I would never have so wholesome. Oh, it's so it's so weird.

No coke or anything.

Age you had a hit Billy Joel. Does he force you into all of his music videos or do you force yourself into his music videos because you're like Shakira, didn't she used to date like like a mentally abusive soccer player. Am I wrong on all of this? I could be making it up, not ringing any else. And he wouldn't allow her for like a decade when you didn't hear from Shakira, they wouldn't allow her to be

Yeah, she's back. It's not like that. No, we just co collaborate and I helped produce his music videos.

By the way, does he sing country music. Why did I thought he didn't. I thought he's saying pop.

He does pop? Yeah, but he right? Whatever?

Did he write any country hits out there?

Yeah?

Nah. I used to dabble with a girl that wrote country music. She also sang, but she but every day she'd have to she was like in a deal, she'd have to deliver twelve songs a day, a day some something some year. No no, no, no, no, Like it was just churning out ding dumb shit after dumb shit. Yeah. Let me tell you something else about this girl. What She was the first person I remember we were sitting in a hotel bed. Don't tell my wife about this,

I feels it about your baldness.

Shut up. Everybody that's on the show gets gifts. It's just stuff in the house. You're not gonna like, well, you might like some of it. These are some of these who are like leading up to your wedding, you have to like do different like parties and things, but you have to wear white, so there's different like white dresses.

Oh my god, there'll be.

Some fun things in there. I don't know what they are. You'll you'll you'll like them. And you're cooler than Some of this stuff has tags. I go, I go, honey, why why are you giving this? Uh to brown? And she she's cooler, she's gonna. I can't wear these things. I'm not cool.

This is great.

There's a lot, there's a lot here. Look, you're gonna you're gonna love all this stuff. What do we got here? I don't know what this is. Oh, I can't wait to see you in this number. Look at that's extra small. Huh what is this? I don't know if this is? Oh man, that's a that's a slinky little number. Now it's gonna be on A J's wife. Are you taking his name?

Not legally? But I will be known as missus.

I've seen I've seen my wife and this one he's the one that one before, Oh, this one, Oh, this will be You'll like this dress's.

Great for wicked? Are you going to I've already seen it twice.

Look at this horrible thing like a haunted doll wore that I can't wait for you to wear. That was awful. Okay, now here, get that off my desk, put it, put it back into the bag that it came over there. Four here, Then I got you. These are I took these from my kids because you and your everybody refers to you as little gingerbread, you and your fiance, so that that that can be a j and that can be you and then you guys when eventually, when you guys go to therapy, you can use these to point

Thank you.

You'll be fine with those. Get it off the desk. You played Sorilla in West Side Story. Was that a dream gig for you? Yeah? By the way, Steven sewel Ward, what was he like as a choreographer. He's not Did he stay away from that?

He stayed away from the choreography, but he was definitely there every day.

Do you really believe that when you're a jet, you're a jet all the way yep, from your first cigarette to your last dying day?

Correct?

Was being on that set You're heaven? Yeah? It was.

It was amazing.

Yeah, well that's great. Yeah. I had to watch. I had to sit through that turn just to be like, ah, there's Bren.

Did you recognize me?

Yeah? Sure, it was like you were in a gymnasium or something. I remember all that. Yeah. Was your West Side Story character in a gang for the whites of the Puerto Ricans the Italians? Was it? No? Isn't it? Wasn't it just whites' versus Puerto Ricans and that Which were you? Were you Puerto Rican or white?

In the movie very very white?

You were white? Ah, you could pass this Porto Rican? Really, don't you think? Okay, I'm always around you don't think she can know? You say? No, way, No, I think she could pass the Puerto Rican.

Great agent.

Do her makeup a little different, throwing some cute, big old hoops, do an appropriated accent? It's Puerto Rican, it's not allowed. What what's some auditions of that? You didn't get that? Of projects? You're like, oh, I wish I would have gotten that.

The marvelous Missus masl I auditioned for twelve different roles.

Twelve different roles, the marvelous Missus Mazel Yeah, and they said no, they said no, they said.

You're I'm old for a couple. But I didn't get it.

And each roll out of the twelve they said, this person is five pounds too heavy. One of the odds.

I think I was actually too thin for some of the rules.

So you never, it's a different era, it's a different error. Do you have any issue when just to sing at the drop of a hat.

I'd prefer to have notice.

I'm not asking you sing right now, but I mean like at a table read where it's like, oh, we're just now singing the other day, I was talking to you.

I sing a cappella yesterday at the audition.

Wait, she has this audition yesterday. Listen to this nightmare of what she has to do. She goes to this audition yesterday. There's like a hundred people. They're all in one room and they're just individually like dancing learning numbers, splitting up into small rooms in front of each other. And then they're like, okay, now we're gonna do some little scenes between yeah, you guys, pair up. We did some cold reading, and they're doing that in front of

Was the first time I had to sing a cappella for anything. Normally there's like a pianist there.

I wish I could sing. I could never sing. I just can't do it. It's not good. The thing that I hate about musical theaters is when they're not singing songs but singing dialogue. That fucking me so much.

They're not singing songs that they're singing dialog, you know, like whether I just singing like like Hamilton.

Yes, any of that ship or watch mccallay. What was the other one that Hugh Jackman did a while ago?

There was a movie The Greatest Showman. No fuck love the Greatestman.

By the way, I love The Greatest Showman too, thank God. The Greatest Showman's the best. I'm talking about the other one, miss Oh, yes, like that when you're walking around Now I'm looking at the river. You could do it. Well, I'm doing an impression of someone trying to Maybe that's how you're going to sing? Is that? Yeah? But that's not really singing, is it. I can sing like my grandpa.

How does he sing?

He sings like this? Did that weird fucking like forties from the radio? Kermit the frog thing? M h, I see scars or blue? He always did a version of that. I felt it red roses. Now you got a new one? Uh uh. My wife went to watch your table read you got. You and your fiance produce creative music a musical? Yes, and now has he written a lot of the songs for it.

He wrote all the songs with his co writer.

I heard from other people that the songs were amazing. That's nice. Yeah, but that's what they said. They said the songs. They said there was some other trouble in spots, but other than that, they said this. They said the songs were amazing.

Yeah.

So this would be your dream gig, your own project, this music.

Yeah.

What's this musical about.

It's about how Prince Charming came to be, a tale as old as time.

Is it funny?

Yeah, it's kill Yeah. It's about the princess Estella, the princess behind Prince Charming.

Oh yeah, I know nothing of her.

Yeah, she's new.

She's new. Yeah, Oh you made her up. Yes that's good. Yeah, I still can. I'm furious at your stance in the Olympics. Thank you, Brianna for being here today. Of course, I look forward to seeing you for at least three to five more years, and then the career has to stop right now. Listen, if you're ever dancing or singing, I will be there to support you.

Thank you, Okay, I appreciate it, and you're welcome.

Casha. I want to thank Brianna for being on the show and I can't wait to dance with her at her wedding. Oh, it's gonna be intense. Hey, believe it or not. Guys, you think I'm hunting these down, I'm not. I've got another poop story. Come on, you're not gonna believe this now. Every morning, around six point thirty ish, I go and get my daughter. First, I warm her up like three ounces of milk, and I uh get my wife a cup of coffee and bring the coffee