My Favorite Reality "Star" - Joe Amabile

Can I ask you a question? Yes, out of the contestants, who were you the biggest fan of before hosting.

This Tasha and now after Tashash show?

What what what what? I'm what the culture is feeling? Woo Kendrick coming with that smoke. Huhuh so good to show team Kendrick. I'm what the culture is feeling. I just like him. He says that, you know, we all are descendants from a single tribe in Africa, so don't even say that I'm not black enough, you know. And then Kendrick, He's accusing Drake of pedophilia. I mean, I don't know what's going on every but he is being accused of being a pedophile lately. Jimmy Kimmel got it

I did.

I watched it the whole thing, watched.

I think I might have missed the very beginning.

Haven't gone back to check it out. It's long, it is long. Did they do any jokes about Kevin Hart's height? Yes, that's the problem with the roast. They're just mean. People's feelings get hurt. If I was off there, I would try as hard as I could to cry, just see if maybe they'd stop. The people have always asked if I will be on the roast, and I've to be honest. I saw Jeff Ross the week before the roast, and he encouraged me. He said I should do one. He

Uh?

No?

Okay, No ever thought about changing your name to instacart Joe.

I honestly think I would have got more Instagram followers if I if my name would have been grocery store Joe. But my last name's hardest spell and pronounce. You probably can't even do it.

Huh huh. But did you think I always said Instagram versus Instacart.

Uh, that's where my mind went. Yeah, that is where my mind went.

I was just like, because instacrt is just a little more updated.

Is instacart still around?

Yeah? Okay, you go to the grocery store.

Serena orders off of Amazon. Right, so I'm plugging. I just plugged the.

Show Team Team Prime. Where'd you grow up?

I grew up in a town called Melos Park in Chicago.

You like Chicago?

Uh?

Yeah?

I like it where dummies put pickles on hot dogs and call asagnya pizza.

I don't like deep dish pizza.

No one does.

And I take the pickle off my hot dog.

What do you do with the pickle? I take a bite of it. Did you major in groceries at college?

I actually didn't go to college.

You didn't go to college? Not a day.

No, I barely graduated high school. I got to school.

Yeah, I got through it. I got through it. You found high school tricky.

I had the option not to go to college after we all.

Have the option, and I took that option.

I loved it.

We're in trouble of the country. In your opinion, what is the best grocery store? And don't just say Whole Foods because Amazon owns them and they're the ones that made the goat available on Prime. I shop at Whole Foods, so yea, yeah, Whole food is not my favorite. Air One.

I bought a thirty dollars bottle of water there because I couldn't believe it was thirty dollars.

Good for you.

It tasted the same, but it was out of a wall Inake, Washington.

I respect. I respect that you saw that it was thirty dollars, said I have to own this water.

Air One's great, it's expensive.

But it's just the girls that are in that store. It's just ridiculous. Every time I walk in there, I'm like, oh, holy cow, arawon is it's And then I like then I like look down, I'm like, oh, there's my little wife. Come on, honey, how small is your wife? She's tiny?

Really?

When did you start selling Marinara sauce.

Two thy and twenty because it was during.

COVID what's it called. What's it called Sundays with Joe? All right, pop quiz, hot shot? How much sodium is in one serving of your sweet Marinara sauce?

What is it measured in?

All right, let's just go percentage of daily nutritional value? Thirty twenty seven percent? Okay, all right, yeah, all right. People may not know your story. You were on the Bachelor, you were you were a night one loser. Were you upset with yourself? You're like, oh fuck, I made myself look stupid? Or no, well, is the Bachelorette whatever? Okay, you're on the Bachelorette. You're on there night one and she kicks you out? Who was a girl? Back of? It was upsetting. It was upsetting.

I felt embarrassed to go on in the first place, just because I thought I was like too cool, huh, And then to be one of the guys that didn't receive a rows felt pretty pathetic.

Did you talk to her that night? Yeah?

But I couldn't really form a sentence because I was really nervous. Like you see, you've seen me really great on camera, like I'm funny and I'm charismatic, but that didn't really come across that didn't come across Night one.

People always but I didn't get any time. Why wouldn't you just force yourself. You're on this show, like I'm going to go right now and talk to this person. How do they keep some people from actually talking to them?

They just say it's not your turn, and then most people listen. But I I had the first conversation kiss no.

And then how long from when that night happened to when the episode aired? How long of a gap is that?

That was like a I want to say, two months. And then the show aired and I thought I was gonna look terrible, and I looked incredible, and then I trended on Twitter. It was it was it was basically national news.

See now, I have a rule that I don't have celebrities on my show.

That's why I'm shocked them here.

I don't consider you a celebrity. You get famous for two minutes of airtime and you have this normal life, but now you don't have the finances to like shelter yourself from all the nonsense it's about to come your way? How is that?

That's why I went on the Goat, and that's why I own bitcoin.

True.

Well, let's talk about though, it isn't it weird to I mean, because it's weird to be like, all of a sudden, now you're famous. But it's like if I'm famous, I get to go to my house in a neighborhood that nobody lives in. I close the wall to the gate.

Well, something that I learned is attention is better than money.

Oh it's the opposite. Yeah, but money is great. You don't want any attention.

Yeah, and then you know you don't make any money, and then you then they ask you to do other reality shows.

How much money did you make on your actual appearance of the batchelor Arette that one single episode?

Nothing? You don't get paid, Yeah, you don't.

There's unions. You have to get some money.

You don't get paid. Bullshit, I'm not lying.

You got zero dollars zero.

I thought you get you get paid to do Bachelor in Paradise, which was another shot.

But you get paid to be the bachelorette of the Bachelor. They get paid, but you don't get paid to be a Contestants don't get paid for being on a show.

And I'm such a fucking idiot. I went to tom I went to Gucci and bought a suit, okay, and then the suit, the suit didn't fit me right, and I freaked out the day before. So then I went to tom Ford and bought a suit and I basically spent like nine thousand dollars in suits so much.

Okay, So he did that. Then a year later, you did The Bachelor in Paradise. Oh, then you were into that that what's her name? And that didn't work out with you, but you dated her forbid? Or do you guys get engaged?

Who are we the first person one I've been on plenty of seasons?

Did you get engaged?

No? We just we dated.

But she was a twin and she was into fucking dead animals.

Yeah, Taxi Durmy.

That's there's a few red flags. That's all I'm saying. When you watch those shows, because your body is not great, what do you mean, like you're like a normal dude. But those all those guys, are you intimidated? They're all so jacked.

I feel like I feel like I actually have a nice body.

Your body's gotten better.

You don't think that doesn't look good on on the on the goat?

No, no, no, no, no, Now, that's what I'm saying. I'm saying probably from from from the first time you're on reality television until now your body's probably I like to I.

Enjoy food, so I don't like I'll eat I like to eat a cheeseburger and I like pizza.

Sure, yeah, I'm just don't. I'm not. You don't be self conscious like you're talking to somebody that's got an awful body. But those guys are all so jacked. Yeah they care, Yeah, they really care.

Like when we're when you're in Paradise, a lot of guys don't even drink beer because it's got carbs. Not me though, really, Yeah, what a waste of a trip.

Yeah, why does everybody uh clamor for a date card? I would just be like, if I'm interested in a girl that's there, I just fuck want to hang out on the beach all day and try to make out. That's what I did, right. Why do people care so much about it going on the fucking date because they want your time? Right, That's all it is. Yeah, I get it. And people are always like, oh, how I've made this joke before where people get like, how could

It's a it's a ten to eleven year difference.

My wife's younger than in that gap at times.

At times it's ten years and at other times it's eleven year different.

Mine's twelve and someone's thirteen. I think our gap, let me tell you this always bothers me. Do people give you any grief for marrying somebody so young? Yeah?

Sometimes, And I agree with that. I think we're I think we're emotionally and you know, we're on the same level.

Why always think it's funy when people stay like like if a guy it's usually a guy dating a younger girl, and they're like, oh my, what do you have in common? What can you talk to a twenty two year old about? I'm like, what kind of conversations are you having? Because I can fucking have the same conversation with a twenty two year old that I can my.

Father like, I agree one hundred percent.

Then you did Dance with the Stars too, Oh.

Yeah, that was in between.

Did you like that? Did you get paid a lot for that?

You got paid for that? Yeah, that was a nice paid six.

Figures, yeah, mid six figures. That's five hundred down.

Then no, no.

It doesn't matter how long you stay on for those shows, you get paid more.

Yes, so you get an upfront and then weekly. The longer you stay, the more you make. And I admit it. To the semifinals.

What place did you get all? Fourth or fifth? Do you enjoy dancing? I hated it because I know, like everything that I know about you and watching you do physical things is it's just it's bad.

No, it's not.

Your balance is poor.

My balance wasn't poor that day. It was my shoes.

I didn't have shoes fucking everything. He said, Like, it's not true, your shoes aren't. Some people have good balance and some people don't.

I have average balance.

No, you don't bad balance. Would you ever do dancing with the stars, I've done it. No, you have well at home. I just you just dance every night. You dance with my wife. I'm like, enjoy this, You're dancing with the stars. I like that. No, I would never do that show. I would never do that show. Ever, there's a lot of shows that I wouldn't do. Would you do? Uh? What shows wouldn't you do?

Probably Survivor. I don't think I would do Survive, even though I say I would. I don't like the idea of not being able to rush your teeth in the morning.

That's your deal breaker. Yeah, that's a big deal break. I think you're allowed to bring one item. You're a fellow degenerate. Would you consider yourself a degenerator?

Now depends on how you defined degenerate.

Do you love Do you love the gamble?

I enjoy gambling.

Do you love it so much? Does it make you so happy when you sit down?

I enjoy the first day, Like the first day in Vegas is usually my favorite. But I don't gamble outside of Vegas. I'm I'm controlled.

That's kind of how I am about gambling. I like that you can't do it everywhere. And I'm glad that California killed sports betting because I was like, Oh, if that happens, I'm gonna be a mess.

I have on my phone. It's out there, but I have a in notes I put don't don't sports gamble.

So what's the most you've ever left Vegas? Up?

Forty five?

Oh it's a good. Oh, it's a good trip.

And that was my bachelor party because I hit I hit a slot machine.

Oh, such a dumb way to win money. It's like, it's not excited, it's all.

So it's my favorite way because you don't even have to think.

Because so we met on The Goat, which is a reality show that's out now on Prime. A month before the show began taping, I get an offer to host this show. I don't get offers a lot because I say no to everything. And I'm reading this and I had just had a baby, and I tell my wife, I go, what do you think of this offer to go to Atlanta? And she's like, we just have a baby.

I guess yeah?

But more so I was like, should we do this? And then I kept saying she was like fine, so we uh we go, and everybody stayed with me. I brought I like, I added to my contract. I want my own my own writers, I want my own producer, I want my own whatever. Sounds like a dream dream Well, and again they were to posses. I don't know what they were gonna do if I didn't do this. I

It's like a hot spring.

It was, but like like algae was growing in it because it's not a good temperature to keep. This is just our house. This is the nonsense that's going mean. I've got a baby. So every night, you know, we're shooting. They make you shoot these stupid shows in the middle of the night. I was there, I know, right, but I'm having to go back to this other mansion thirty minutes away.

God for bed right.

To stay up with a four week old. Yeah. Like it was just it was just a nuts and they were everyone was going crazy. Here's how they sold me in the show. We're not making fun of people that are doing the show. And I was like, good, I don't want to do that show. I want to have fun. I want it to be lighthearted. I want to be silly, but we're mocking the whole genre of living together in competitions And I was like, okay, that's what they sold

Do you remember how much they were screaming that first episode? It was insane?

Can I ask you a question? Yes, out of.

The contestants, who were you the biggest fan of before hosting.

This Taysha and now after Tasha?

Honestly though for.

Real, no, no, I was. Let's being honest, although you weren't. It wasn't supposed to be you. I thought I thought I was supposed to be when I had seen the first list. You were supposed to be what's his name? Who is the guy that married uh, the the Canadian teacher Nick Vile. Yeah, I think you were supposed to be Nick Vile.

So me and you were replacements.

And then or you were supposed to be snooky. Uh, I don't know for sure. How much did they tell you about the goat before you agreed to do the show.

They don't tell you much. They tell you how much money they Yeah, they tell you how much money. And I didn't know I was going on the show, probably because it was potentially nick un till I want to say, ten days prior. And then they just really staid pack colorful clothing.

I made fun of your clothes a lot, I know, but I there was just one shirt that just to me, it just looked like, look, you just looked so wholesome, as brown as some stripes across the trailer.

Yeah, it does you you did nall it on the head. It looks like a third grade.

There's all right. So you didn't know much about it. You knew how much you were getting paid. Now, do you get Is that the same as like Dancing with Stars where you get a lump sum plus every episode that you stay in. Yes, yeah, so that's what that's what brings the competitive nature out.

And you know, it's like it's like playing a board game. You know, once you're in it, you're in it, and then you're you're you're there to compete, but.

You're you're competing against some people, like like real housewives that certainly didn't need the money. So that's that's a silly thing.

Yeah, that was a problem. It was because then you know, like some could say, no, one, we can't talk about that. You know, it's very hard to.

Talk about a show that you can't talk about. Yeah, we filmed the show in Atlanta. The producers they're coming to me and they're like, hey, you know, we don't ever want you to mention where we are. Then the very first cut I see, the first credit that appears, is a big fucking logo of a peach with Georgia written above it. Oh I'm not allowed to mention where we are? Why?

Why what it was? Why can't you mentioned it?

Because you want you want to make it like, oh, who knows where it is? It could be anywhere, they could be anywhere. I don't understand Atlanta at all. It was the fucking grossest neighborhood. And then there was just this random dirt road that went way back and this huge mansion that was built by a former Indianapolis Colts player. It had sit vacant and so we rented to shoot this show, and it's meant to be a house. It's not meant to film a show with hundreds of employees

No, I didn't.

Your plumbing will work.

Oh we were fine. Yeah.

Did you ever go into the garage.

They wouldn't let me in there. I tried to walk in there.

So the garage and it's it was like a ten car garage is just filled with just screens of every hidden camera in the house and all the people watching you. So I found that interesting to watch how the sausage was made. The thing is, I would be sitting downstairs when I would come to work. I would sit in the basement and I would have a TV of all the cameras, and then I would have some people tell me what I missed, Who said what, and blah blah blah.

So but I was good at making it seem like a lot of them.

Okay, okay. So then we get cuts of the show and you and I had had some banda. I was teasing you constantly. We had a lot of fun, right, They didn't put a lot of that stuff in there. How about well, I can't even probably can't even say it. Say it when I shot the firework backwards?

Is that in there?

I don't think. So that was funny. I asked you if I was allowed to call you. I said, I know this is a racial epithet goomba. I said, could you explain to me what it is? And you explained it to me, and then I said, I am I allowed to call you that if is like it? And you said yes or something. But it was so there was some back and forth about it, and that never saw the light of day. Wow, what is what does gumba mean?

I think it's a slang for like an Italian, but it means like yo, oh.

Hey I'm a Talian. Well it's not in the show. Some of the stuff I fought for. But like, here's the thing. We shot this a year ago. I know one year ago you looked the same though, Thanksome, But they're like asking me to give notes on these episodes? Dom you. When I give notes for a show, I give them one time and then I want you to take my notes. I know what's funny, what's not funny? Yeah, that's it. But these these are twenty back and forth over a year. You think, I remember what funny thing

Now?

Am I saying that this show would be a million times better if they did everything that I said? Yes? But they you know, other people have jobs, I guess, and there's just it was just weird?

Am I funny?

Yeah? You're funny?

Am I the funniest?

I mean it depends.

I'm taking you out of the equation.

No, no, no, I wasn't gonna put you in my category. You're the funniest if if if probably intentionally, and then other people, you know, they cut them to be funny.

So that so then I'm I'm probably the most talented when it comes to being funny.

Did you win the goat? Did I win? Yeah?

I can't disclose.

You're so properly pr trained. What did the cast really think of me?

I think I think they all liked you. I would say I liked you the most.

That's why you're here.

I enjoyed your presence when you were there. It made me feel somewhat better about myself.

That's nice. It's actually really nice. Nice to say. Reality hosts are usually pretty dry. Did you find me funny? Yah? I just said, yeah, funny? How funny? Like a clown? You know that you use? We're doing a bit there?

Yeah, I get it. There in New York, they there's like a real estate company that does that bit around a poker table and they have like a twelve year old girl do it with like a family, and it plays in the cabs in New York. It's so bad. It's incredibly bad. I watch it. I cannot believe somebody paid to make that.

But you like it?

No, I actually hate it. I hate it, and I really want you to say it's still worst.

Okay, I'll find it. I'll watch. I got a gift for you, Oh really? Yeah? I love that. I always give people something that comes on my show to have something from my house that I don't want anymore. Now, this this is this is you get. This is a two part of This is your wedding gift. Okay, this is a knife sharpener. Come on, man, is he here, Eddie? Yeah, Eddie's trying to Eddie bought me this. Eddie bought me this for Christmas a couple of years ago. I've never

So this is this mine? Now, Yeah, thank you. I don't know if you can fly with a knife.

Sharp you can fly with a knife sharpener.

Take it off your hands, Okay, So that's it's a Model fifteen x V.

That's a good one. That's not the only gift. That's not the only gift. I got it then because I was teasing you about your wardrobe, and I know you like to gamble. I'm giving you this is one of my show jackets when I'm in Vegas.

Zippers up there. It's from oh, from Zach Sacks.

No, it's not from sex. That's just an old bag. This is nice. You like this. Oh, look at that for when you're in Vegas. You're gonna love it. Go ahead for me, Yeah, put it on, see if it fits. All right, this is great.

I wasn't expecting a jacket.

Well it might not work with that jacket on it. You might be broader than I thought.

Yeah, I told you my body's not bad.

I think if you hadn't, if you didn't have the jacket or anything, it could be good. How's a look? Well it looks good now, but it looks weird with Yeah, what size are you?

I'm a forty usual?

I eate forty two. I don't know. I usually get a tailored You're you're not forty two. Well, that jacket doesn't fix anything. This is a thirty.

This is the thirty eight.

No, listen, Joe, what would your first illusion be? Yes, all right, take take that off. Okay, they're gonna love it. What have you been up to since the goat concluded?

Well?

I got married.

We had our wedding, but.

You're already married, right, and you just did like a formal one.

A formal wedding in Charleston. I have a podcast.

What's the name of your podcast?

A happy Hour it's like a Bachelor podcast, but you.

Don't own it. No, they just put somebody on it. Yeah, but are you making some decent scratch with it?

I might get paid for it.

That's another thing I don't know about these, uh Bachelor. I always told my wife if she died, I would go on the Bachelor. I would want to be the Bachelor. Yeah, but like, I don't think they would allow what I want to do.

Yeah, well I don't think you could. Come on, Let's rearrange the way the show works.

Let's get everybody has to be naked. There's no world where I'm going to marry somebody that I haven't seen naked in the daylight.

Well, eventually you will before you marry her.

Your wife, that's who you want. You want somebody that fucking walked off the show right before, like the very end.

Yeah, she didn't want to get engaged when when I asked.

Her her season? What was the guy's name? Bet James? I watched that. Are you friends with him? Hold on? Are you friends with him? Yeah? No, I do.

I do like him.

Here's what I liked about Matt James. I remember the very first episode he started by asking everybody to pray, and I was like, oh shit, oh shit, this is awful. We're all gonna pray, all twenty five of you women that I hopefully get to have sex with. I'm let's first have a nice and then the girls are like, oh, this is this is so meaningful, this is what I wanted. It just the most insane way to start a show that is basically built around debauchery. We're gonna have this

Life is wonderful, it's great.

How long you been married? Now? Two years? She's Canadian?

She's from Toronto.

She Canadian? Yeah, oh I'm making sure. Yeah, some people live in Toronto. But all right, so she's Canadian. I always say, don't marry somebody from a different country, but I don't consider Canada a different country.

Yeah, but there's a lot more to it than we initially thought. Oh yeah, like it is another country. Oh so like all like you have to you know, there's like immigration.

And she can become a citizens citizen potentially, potentially, are you going to move to Canada right now?

We're trying to stay in the States, so we'll see what happens. But I do I enjoyed Toronto.

Toronto sucks.

You don't like Toronto? No? Oh, you really don't like huhuh okay, yeah, that's fair.

Give me Nova Scotia, give me Montreal, give me Vancouver, sure, but Toronto hard pass Nova Scotia. Sure.

I've never been there.

Nicest people on the planet interesting, and that what they're known for. I think that. I think it's they're considered the nicest people on the planet. Whatever. One time I did a show that they protested it. Wow, that's true. You can't spell for shit? Neither can I thought, I could you give you a word? Yeah, all right, let's see, let's see how you do. I'll just let me just pick a random word and let's just see how you do on a single word. Bachelorette.

That is the war word that I screw that word up every time I could spell the Bachelor. Spell bachelorette b A C H E, L O R E T T E.

That's all right, that's pretty good. Thank you? Were you scared?

I was nervous.

Why are you still not on cameo? I feel like you're leaving a lot of money on the table.

I know I never wanted to do cameo.

You don't want to say happy birthday to people?

I just I don't want to charge people for me to say happy birthday to down fair enough?

Fair enough? Can we give out your number and let people just text you for free?

Car accidentally? Did do that?

You gave out your number? One? Yeah?

And I and I gave out my Starbucks gift card once because I was trying to be nice for Christmas, like pay it forward kind of thing, and I put it on my Instagram and I filled it with a couple hundred bucks for people to to get their coffees. And then every time I put more money in it, it would get it would get whacked because people still had my number.

Oh man, you gotta did you change it?

I just don't use it anymore.

No, you get you get harassed, recognized, any of that stuff.

I don't get harassed, but I still do get recognized.

And are you nice to people?

I'm very nice.

I think it's fun to not be nice all the time. But I have a different reputation.

Yeah.

Like if somebody comes up to me and says, hey, I'm a fan, can I take a photo? I'm like no, and they just walk away.

Really that's how you do.

I'll do that sometimes because that makes him laugh, like he just scream. But you go back now. I don't go back back then.

I'm gonna try it.

You and your wife both do the podcast?

We do it together?

Are you guys both like lifers? Are you gonna just keep doing different reality projects if they come along?

I mean, if I get asked to do another reality show, I would entertain it.

But we'll see.

I mean, if it fits the schedule.

Sure, what's your schedule?

It's pretty open.

Right, You're you're smart enough to realize, oh this is this is interesting and I'll take this as long as I can.

Yeah, I'm writing this wave you do.

I mean, listen, if any anyone has taken a small little pop and fame and turn it into a career, it's you.

Well, who else from the show? Have you have? You?

Are you anna ask on your on your show? You're the last one, the end, the only one? Right, No, I've we've we've done them all.

Oh no, yeah, see, I mean there's I mean, think about it.

I'm gonna think about it. Think about what what do you want me to think about?

Why did you only ask me? I don't know because you see raw talent.

Because you're silly.

I'm a silly guys, You're.

Silly, funny Joe, thank you for being on the show, and congratulations on all your success. Look forward to watching you this season on The Goat.

Thank you very much.

Look at that handshake so strong, Pasha, I want to thank grocery store Joe for being on the podcast. You find Joe interesting? Huh, Carl, do you find Joe interesting? He really tickles me. The first three episodes of The Goat are now available on set Carl Prime Video. They're available the first three, then every Thursday, a new one's gonna drop. By the way, this is two days after Mother's Day, but technically I'm recording this before Mother's Day.

Thank you, except that.

I was very concerned because your sister and your niece and their family, they were under tornado all.

Night last night.

So I was upmost of the night texting with them and there.

But they're all fine, So that's good.

Oh that's good. Is that it?

That's it, that's it.

Happy Mother's Day. Thank you, love you, love you. By Hey, I want to thank everyone that came out to the Dolby. That was a pretty neat experience. My poor son. I was going to exploit him. I was like, Hey, do you want to do the intro for me at the Dolby where they, you know, do the oscars And he said yes. He was very excited. He had a joke planned and everything. He was going to walk out there, and the day of he was like, I don't know. He's like he just kept saying, I don't I don't

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