My Favorite NFL Player Turned Chef - Derrell Smith

You find Thanksgiving stressful? No, okay, what is a go ahead? Don't take this offensively. Take I'm gonna take it as ask me about white people Thanksgiving?

What is that like? Cosh?

If there's product in my hair, it must be Tuesday Toss show time, Eddie. You guess what what? Thanksgiving? Right around the corner? Hit me with the gobble gobble. You went authentic? That turkey sounds good? You excited for this Thanksgiving?

I am excited.

I love Thanksgiving.

We're sharing it together. We are Oh, our families are going to be together.

Yeah, be thankful. We will watch a lot of football. We're gonna watch all nothing but football.

Let's go to Bears Lions now. Detroit has been playing on Thanksgiving Day since are you ready for this? Nineteen thirty four. There were only two teams back then. Wow, I don't know who the other team was, but Detroit was losing on Thanksgiving Day. That was the tradition for ninety years. They've lost every single game by double digits. Well, this year is going to be different. They're going to destroy the Bears. They are on their way to the super Bowl. Now they won't get to the super Bowl

But that's good. Yeah, they'll make it to Week two of the playoffs and the.

Town will be like, yeah, that's good enough, Motor City, let's build a car.

Okay.

The next game is the Giants and Cowboys. These are two bottom feeders in the NFC East. They have fallen. Cowboys are unwatchable at home, just unwatchable. And the Giants, well they got ridish Saquon Bar for Daniel Jones, who's now a third stringer. Congratulations, general manager, way to really eyeball talent. Now the final game the entree of thanksgiving, the reason that we slaughtered the indigenous people, the Dolphins

Yeah I like getting thanked upon. Okay.

The Dolphins go up to Green Bay, probably the most depressing city in America past October thirty. First in the overhead shots try to paint it as a cute, quaint town, but it is fucking horrible. Thank goodness, it's at night, so the Dolphin players won't be super depressed when they see the nothingness that is the Green Bay area. Now you know that team is owned by the fans, right,

That would be fun.

I wonder how many people have to move from the city of Green Bay to bring the team with them. What if it's just four or five influential families. So you know what, we're thinking of getting a timeshare down in Baja. Could we move the Packers to San Jose del Cabo. That would be delightful, right, No players are going to complain about doing some sweet deep sea fishing, you know, and then getting to play a football game against the Packers down there in San Jose del Cabo.

That was always silly. Where would I want the Green Bay Packers to move? I mean, does it have to be near a bay?

Yeah, it probably doesn't need to be near bay. It's not going to Oakland, Maine, Maine. That's a good idea. Bring them over to Bar Harbor. Yeah, there you go, the Bar Harbor Packers.

That sounds great. Bring them to Maine.

Maine is so much more fun to visit than Green Bay. Now Appleton, Wisconsin, don't get me started. Love it, Oshkosh, love it, Madison, Heaven on Earth, Milwaukee, I'll be honest with you. I enjoy it. But green Bay, oh depressing. Here's the thing. When you're in Green Bay and you're like, Wow, this couldn't get any worse, realize there's a whole country above you.

By the way.

Thanksgiving it's probably, you know, one of the worst holidays. But the food. What's your favorite piece of food that day, Eddie?

I think I like stuffing.

The stuffing.

Ah, I'm in your wheelhouse. Mine is the rolls. Oh yeah, I just like the rule. If the roles aren't good, I'm furious at the meal and they need to be plentiful. I need at least four roles to get me through a fucking horrible Thanksgiving meal. And you know where we're gonna be, Eddie. We're going to be in the beautiful state of Hawaii. We're gonna be in Maui. The roles that I want, I want the local roles. I want

By the way, if you're gonna do the wishbone, you break the wishbone, I do by yourself. Yep, just so win either way.

Good point now me, I got a little strategy with wishbone. You gotta grab up real high. You know, you see the other person pinching the bottom of it, and it's like a sucker. Another thing I'm gonna say about Thanksgiving, sweet potato cast role. If you put marshmallows on it, you know, you might as well sit at the children's table, because that's fucking clown food.

Nobody wants that. All right, let's get into the show.

Today's guest knows everything about football and Thanksgiving dinner. Enjoy Pasha, my guest today is one of those guys who's annoyingly good at everything he tries. His resume includes NFL player, executive producer, cooking show host, and founder of his own company. Please welcome, Chef Drell aka Uncle Rel aka Relly Crocker.

I love that intro. I'm gonna steal that. How are you well? I'm good. How about yourself? I'm well? Thank you? How many people call you Relly Crocker? A couple? They only know me from Instagram? Not many? Question Darrell, Okay, do you believe in ghosts? Yes?

You ever seen a ghost? I felt ghost? I haven't seen him before.

Have you always believed in ghost or did something happen you're like now? I believe.

I think gradually over time you hear the rumors as a child, but then as you grow older, you start to feeling me.

You know, we're not alone, can't be I believe we're alone. Yeah, you're originally from Philly? Yes you were jumped yep. So I much like the Fresh Prince.

Just like the Fresh Prince.

I actually grew up in Overbrook, where he's from as well.

And I went to a school called Lamberton.

And one day at lunch we had this big mound of snow and we had a snowball fight and I hit this kid in the face with a snowball and he was a part of this gang.

Our school was K through twelve, so he k through twelve is a horrible idea.

Absolutely, I agree with that, and this kid he was part of this gang, hit him in the face. Couple weeks later, he's like, man, we're fighting, all right, I bet so. We uh. We went to this place called the News Book, which was across the street from the library near Lamberton, and he was there with all his gang and everybody's in a circle, and me and him one on one, and I whooped his ass and then

I just looked.

Went to get some Pokemon cards from my kid the other day, literally, and they're like, oh, we don't sell small packs. We just have this big pack and it's eighty dollars. So I go, I said, no, thank you, I'm not spending eighty dollars my kid. It's crazy. What grade were you in during this jump? The seventh grade man, and what grade was he? We were all in seventh grade.

Oh, he was in seventh grade too, so the the bigger gang was in eleventh grade. So the young gang was seventh grade. We were all seventh graders. The big gang was was eleventh grade. I remember my sister was trying to jump in the fight. She had to be around like six seven at that time, and my friends are holding back my young sister.

Long story short, my parents sued.

So if we got money, I love those Pokemon cards, hopefully at least eighty dollars for the for the Pokemon cards I had.

Fighting has never been my thing.

I've always been like if in school as a child, there was like there was a kid that would I could tell he wanted to fight and would instigate with me, and you always hear of like kind of tougher parents and oh, don't back down. I had parents are like, yeah, you can back down, just don't who cares if you don't want to do it, just like you do, don't want to get in trouble, just walk away, it's okay. Yeah, and I did. I always was like, hey, I'm not

To Delaware, Delaware. What was life like in Delaware when you first move that were like, oh, this is different. Delaware is different.

It's interesting because in Philadelphia it's very segregated. So you got black community, got white community, got rich folks, non rich folks, whereas in Delaware, everybody's forced to be together, and it's beautiful, like it's a it's a cool place. It's a lot of farmland, no taxes, so everything's cheap.

Gas is super cheap. I know nothing about Delaware really, although I did date one girl from Delaware. She's Oh my goodness, now that I think about her. Is she a farmer?

No?

And she's from Delaware, but she has sisteric fibrosis. Oh okay, that was bad. Okay, I got you anyway. I met in Philly. Anyway, all right, you were a star athlete in high school? Oh yeah, When did that start? When did you feel.

Like, oh, I'm different, I'm better than the rest of these kids that I'm playing with.

At birth, so my biological father played football at Cheney.

I remember as a kid.

We would play catch and every time I dropped the ball, he make me do five push ups. And around seven years old, my stepfather came into my life and he put me in organized football. And once I got in organized football, I wasn't scared to get hit. When you play football. Once you get hit that that first time, either you say I like this or I don't like this, and I liked it, and so after that you just

You're running back all through high school. Only in high school.

Actually, growing up, I was a center, and once I got to high school never carried the ball in my life. My coach was like, man, we were gonna turn you into a running back. And by my senior year, I was the number one rank player in the state. I was Gatoray Player of the Year, got a full scholarship to Syracuse.

And that was Delaware, right, Delaware. It ain't Florida.

But if I would have been in Florida, I would I would have got Gtoray Player of the Year too.

All right, did you play you played sports? No? No, I could see he was a kicker or even a wide receiver.

No, I think a wide receiver that would have been nicer to lead with that. No, extremely athletic, but didn't play football.

And you're tall too. Punters are tall. Fuck hunters, dog don't care? Oh, fair enough?

Football is not my thing. Love it, love watching it, no desire to play it. You know what killed me with team sports? I always liked the individual sports. I hated listening to coaches give me the raw raw thing. I'm like, hey, I get it, we need to have more points at the end of the game.

Is that the objective? Coach? Got it?

So I never enjoyed losing because of knuckleheads.

Fair enough, Oh, I hated it. Were you a swimmer man?

I did surfing okay, Okay, I competed there a little bit for a while. I liked, you know all those things. I like tennis. Yeah, No, granted, I live for watching football. Who's your team?

The Dolphins? Okay? You think two? I should have walked?

Hell yeah, that's not something to play with too young. I'm thirty six. I'm pretty sure once I get to like forty five, my body or hurt even more. And I didn't even play longer in the NFL right when at adrenaline is flowing and you fill in vincible. When you're young, it's all fine and dandy. But when the ogs tell you how they feel. You see people who retire from the NFL walking with canes or impression sleeves on their knees or wonky and like gott.

To make their food blended. Its different. That's a different experience, man, You gotta listen.

Syracuse is it considered prestigious amongst safety schools?

Amongst safety schools? What does that mean? It's throwing shade.

I would say, now that I live in LA, I would say Syracuse is the USC of the East, like a private school in the middle of the ghetto. But the only difference is our students don't stay in Syracuse, whereas USC students probably stay in LA.

Our students just go back to New York City.

But in terms of prestigiousness, Syracuse is our network is ridiculous.

Now did you know Pete Relia You were a freshman at Syracuse when he was a senior he works on this show. No really, no, I didn't know him. Oh man, he was a big man on campus.

So I love that.

By the way, what was it like being a star athlete at a Division I school. Were you just swimming in women?

Yeah? Did you cook a lot in your kitchen on South Campus? Yes?

I would actually cook for my teammates. I remember one time we cooked for some lady friends that came over. I never fried chicken.

It's a mess. It's a mess.

But if you put the heat too high, it'll give the illusion that it's done.

When it's not. Oh no, So this kick this chicken I fried.

It came out perfect golden brown, and when they went to bite into.

It, everybody got salmonilla. Possibly. Do you ever ship yourself as an adult?

Uh?

As an adult, I've never shipped myself.

But I remember when I was in school one time I went to wipe and a little gut on my finger, and uh, and it got on my shirt and I had to go back to class.

Oh man, and I had to like take on my shirt and like wash it, put it under the dry. It's no good. That's no good at all. I mean, how old was this. I was probably about like twenty one, twenty two.

Oh oh geez, okay, all right, it's embarrassing. You made it to the NFL. By the way, your first year you didn't get drafted, but you made it to a team and you were the Bucks.

Yep, practice squad. What's the practice squad make? Not much?

They make probably make like nine thousand every two weeks back then.

Is actually a good money. It's great money, but it's not life changing. You never have to work again. Money obviously nine thousand for two is that just during the season.

During the season. You don't get paid in the off season. Okay.

But I went to school in off season, so I was I was okay, and then I went back to Syracuse, finished up my masters during the off seasons, and then I would just fly back to By my second year, I was with Houston, So I flew back to Houston, played on the team, and then off season would just go back to school finish up. What was your playing weight with the Bucks. I was in a four to three, so I was about two thirty. The linebackers are super small there. And wait and your way today two forty

Uh.

The way I ended my career is in practice, I uh compressed one of my vertebrates. Put my neck down when I hit somebody and uh compressed a vertebrae. So that still is painful. But like this morning, I did some yoga.

If I could right now snap my fingers and get you to the weight that you wanted to be, what would it be this one? I look good, Well, you look good, but to forty is still a lot of weight to carry around. Yeah, on the knees, especially new knees. I'm big bone, So that's not a thing. If you see my lady, her bones are like this big, like her.

Arms like you can look at her.

I just showed you your skeleton. I'm gonna let you know it's not different.

Is it the same? Yes, it's the same. I don't believe that I would have to see what I have to see this.

I feel my bone. That's a boone. That's a big ass arm. But that bone is in there. I know it's big. You're telling me you're bone the same size as my bones?

Probably, really, am I wrong? I'm looking at science. It's not it's not that different. I'm seeing. Big bone is a thing. Big bone is a thing, says, it's not a medical term, but it's it's just a thing. People have bigger bones.

Some people have big okay, but is it like drastically bigger. But you see my lady in me, my bones are much bigger.

Okay, Well that's male female. Maybe it's I'm maybe male to man. Maybe how brutal is the NFL? Describe what it feels like when you're just going against another top athlete, just collisions.

What does that feel like?

NFL is brutal, but everybody there is prepared for that. The NFL is the best professionals in the world, and so a hit, it's a hit, but it's a perfect form hit, and everybody practice is perfect form. They practice coming in, being in the right position, and so it's not necessarily painful. Yes, yes it is painful because it just by nature, a hit is painful. But as a professional, you know how to do it right the right way.

Of the game.

But most of the time you practice the right form, right things, so it's not as bad.

As it seems.

That seems scary, man, it seems fast, very fast.

Are you still quick? Oh yeah, I'm an athlete at heart.

I feel like you feel like if you get out there right now, you feel like you would be good for a game.

I don't know, no, no, not even one play because those are those are elite athletes. I'm not an alst athlete, but I'll say this, if you and me were to race, there is the athlete in me would make sure that unless you super fast, and.

I'm pretty quick, you are. Yeah. Yeah.

I raised the fastest uh uh Paralympia and with no legs.

I smoked him nice.

But I raised him with his blades in the sand, so he didn't stand it.

He thought he could we That's that's a strategy, man. Listen. I didn't pick. I did pick the place.

My mother, her whole life, she's always told me she's like, I could be a running back. She's like, I just have the ability to get out of the way to this this. This woman's like eighty years old, and she's like I could. I can still, I know I could do it. I'll tell you this.

If I was a linebacker and I saw your mom, I would light up, light her up.

Oh my gosh, something old. Go through that again, killer, I can't believe tear my mom's ass up, Jared Man.

When your career ends in the NFL and you're not a star player, how do they take care of role players or people that have small role on the team post the NFL?

Is it nothing? That is like? All right?

So yeah, NFL Players Union does a good job because anybody who makes it to the NFL, that's not that's hard to do.

It's not easy.

I don't care if you're practice squad or whatever level you're at. NFLPA does a good job of protecting anybody who makes it to the NFL. So, now, for instance, I get fifty percent off Cohon shoes because I'm a part of the NFL.

I know, right, how's it comfortable? That's a very comfortable shit.

Absolutely, So like things like that, you you still get discounts. They still they're like insurance plans that you can get through the NFLPA. And so I'll say that the NFLPA, they do a really good job of taking care of everybody who makes it to the NFL. NFL, I don't know, Like that's a different into and once you're out of the league.

I don't think that's their problem. An Do you like football now?

Oh yeah, I like watching college football more than NFL. I'll actually be in Syracuse this weekend.

Okay.

I like being on the sideline. The energy of a stadium is like none other, and that Syracuse is cool because we have probably one of the loudest stadiums in the country. We have a dome, and being on the sideline of a game. I still love it, still love it.

So who's your favorite pro team? Els? Die Hard? Diehard ego? So's Eddie? Oh oh yeah? Sing it Eddie?

Hey g Sly Eagles singing weird ego story?

All right? You know, I always liked Barry Sanders.

When he was interviewed when I was a kid, They're like, do you ever watch football? He's like nope, And he's like you ever seen the Super Bowl? He's like nope. He wasn't into football. Some people like that, but he made it to the top of the profession and was like, listen, I'm great at this. It's given me a wonderful life, and I respect that. But I mean it. The two don't have to go hand in hand. You don't have to love what you're great at.

You know, it's wild.

I'm a chef now and I love food. I love to cook food, but I don't eat out a lot like I don't. I don't necessarily go to a bunch of restaurants. I appreciate really good food.

Yeah, but you can make good food, so whun.

But that's that's the same as going on because I can't make good food. But that's the same as Barry Sanders like he of course he could. He could make good plays, but he doesn't necessarily watch good plays. Is more so to him, I would say in relation to it, food for me is a feeling. It's not something where it's an obsession. Like I'm not obsessed with it, but I'm good at it. It's kind of spews out of

I mean to make it at the top and then walk away. I think I think you did pretty good. Oh, hell yeah. Talk to me about after you finished football. You had finished getting your masters at Syracuse, and then you went to work for a bunch of agencies throughout the YEP.

So I worked in advertising. I have a master's degree in advertising. After college, went to Boulder, Colorado, worked as an intern in production, and then I moved to New York City.

Talk about the women in Boulder, Colorado. Harry, Oh, but kind, Harry kind.

But in shoelass. Yeah. How did you get into meatballs?

One day after class, I made a really good recipe when I'm out of the air, had everything in the fridge. I remember making it and calling my best friend like, yo, come over, we got a winner, man and uh and but at the time I had an Italian girlfriend. Okay, One time her me Ma made meatballs for New Year's which was like a special time, Like she never made meatballs. She would only make them for like special occasions. And they were like yo, me my main beatballs. And everybody

Like I mind, we're good When I tried it. Uh. The sauce was really the driver.

But when I tasted that meatball, I knew the potential of a meatball. And after that, I just like I became obsessed with meatballs. And over time I practiced it so much and I got so good at it that I would just I would bring it into my goal work because I.

Knew it was good. Where were you working at the time.

I was in New York City at an agency called three sixty. I and my boss there was a competition coming up, meatball competition coming up, and she was like, Yo, these meatballs you bringing, you should enter them in this competition.

And I did.

I won, and I started the company and also bought.

You a little gift.

We started the Maize Balls based on the it's for the fridge as Grandma.

That's you, that's your grandma. That is is based on women in my family. Yeah, okay.

The idea is that whenever you eat my food, it makes you feel as though Grandma made it.

Maaze balls and matches the colors.

I'll be honest with you. I don't, I can't. I don't have a fridge. It's clauded in the wood, the same.

As the cabinets. That's cool. Yeah, that's nice. I believe it. That's cool. Thank you very much, very welcome.

N No one in here ever brings anything in other than a receipt to be like reimbursed.

That's hilarious.

So how did you transition from making these people enjoy it winning a or was winning the contest where you're like, Okay, I can make this my full time job being a chef.

Not necessarily when I'm When I won the competition, I still had a job, right, but I knew that if these people liked it, all we need is more people to taste it, and more people would like it.

You did a pop up while you were still working, and we're pumping out thousands.

Yeah. So I worked at UH.

I worked in advertising, but then on the weekends there was something called Smorgensberg.

Have you heard heard of it?

So Smorgasburg la versus Morgasburg Brooklyn two totally different experiences.

At that time, I.

Would say it was probably harder to get into Smortgagsburg than it was to get into Harvard. Like, this thing was very competitive, ten thousand people per day, every single weekend. And meanwhile, when I started making metballs, I'd only made meatballs, maybe like ten people here we are like making meatballs for thousands of people every weekend.

How many people did you have to help you? Two?

I had my girlfriend at the time, and then my sister would come up from Delaware and help me roll meatballs.

And I had four roommates.

Always had your back, always had my back since six years old, trying to jump and scrap back man.

Shout out to my sister deschante. Did you have the oven space for this? No? But you, I mean, if you really want something, you make it work. No, I just now.

I always just appreciate people with that type of drive. Yeah, I mean, I guess I had drive at some point in my life. I just don't remember.

I grew up watching Tosh point zero. I remember that show right.

Like, Like, as an artist, whatever your form of art is or whatever your form of expression is, you figure out ways just like to do it. I don't know if before times point out, I don't know if you're getting like.

Big ass checks, but it was probably days.

Where you were like poor or like damn, I don't know, I'm gonna pay rent, but fuck it, I'm still gonna put out this piece of art because people want it, and it's a form of expression that I have to get out.

I can't explain why I have to get it out, but I have to get it out. And for me, I feel as though meat balls was that thing. It sounds crazy, but I knew I was really good at it, and I knew from this competition I was the best at it, at least in my region.

And so I did what I had to do.

And now I could look back at it and say, like that was crazy. I would never do it again now, But in the moment when you have to do something, that was what it was. I had to get my food out to the masses, and we did some crazy shit to get to it, but I did it.

You ever had IKEA's meat palls a tasty? Are they good? I'll be honest.

I know about them just because of pop culture, but I don't know if I've ever had IKEA's meatballs.

They're good with the with the mashed potatoes, gravy, and I think it's Lindenberry that is delicious, and.

They're like a dollar for like twenty. They're tasty. Man, what are they doing over there?

Like?

Se are your meatballs in stores?

No?

Not yet. Okay. Is that a plan potentially in the future, would you'd be okay with that?

Oh you're not? Like, no, I don't. I want to do it this whatever version smaller?

No you?

So, how'd you land a cooking show on Taste Made Again? Your career is fascinating?

After Meatballs Smorgasberg, I was let go from that job, so they made it easy to do a full time That was April twenty seventeen and bed Back Beyond in Subseid Park because they had opened up a studio kitchen, first of his kind in America, and their resident chef had retired before that. They had me come into a demonstration to demo the meatballs. They liked it, like my personality, and so they brought me back to take over his job as resident chef at Bed bath Beyond Sunset Park.

This is not like, not every bed Bathroom Beyond has this. There's only one. Only one. Yep.

There's like a full working kitchen. You can come in and just see somebody and they're filming this.

They have cameras, whole whole audience, live audience, and I would cook the food and they would film it, and I owned the content. A friend of mine who was at Taste Made saw it, passed it on to their team. They reached out to me, came out here, did some content with them, and then over the years we just kept building a relationship. Twenty twenty hit everything shut down. By this time, A Maze Balls, which is the company

And so I was like, move to La Why not.

I want to get out of Brooklyn's tight here it's everybody everything shut down. When I moved to La, I had to shoot with Taste Made During lunch. They were like, yo, we went off your TV show. I was like, all right, oh, I like that, and so we came up with the show Shout It a few months later, and then season two came, Season three came.

We just how about the producers where they understand what they were doing with you? You would go off the rails and absolutely and they couldn't.

They didn't really know how to capture that gold.

Is that there kind of I would say, it's like show that I have kind of like this, like you're prepared, right, you have notes, but along the way you just kind of like riffed off and you.

Threestyle talking about fucking getting shit on our fingers exactly.

But with the show, it's the same thing, like they give you kind of a guardrail, but then once you get into the moment, like a different character comes out.

I don't know what it is like any anybody who goes on film.

Like whatever, your your caricature, like the big personality, big whatever, that's what comes out on camera. And I really can't control it. And so we would just be in the film room and whatever came to mind, I'll just say it and sometimes they keep it, sometimes they take it out.

But did you have to fight for stuff? Oh? Yeah.

By my second season, I got an executive producer credit, so I was able to kind of come in and be like, no, let's keep that.

Your catchphrases were unlike anything I've ever heard on a cooking program yet included my god, I'm gonna tear your ass up.

And that's the stuff. That's it, man. You can't have a catch phrase I'm gonna tear your ass up. Man. Stinctual too. I love it.

Most of the time you eat, you want to say it, but you never hear people on TV say those.

Most of the time you see a cooking show. Hi, y'all, we're here to make some cone brit.

But in my TV show, like, I'd rather just give you my real personality versus giving you the standard cooking show template.

Tell it how it is you find Thanksgiving stressful? No? You cook sometimes? Have I got a special way you do the turkey?

Or no, I'll Brian my turkeys, and then I do low and slow, and then the final hour, I'll put a little salt on the crust, on the skin, crisp it up, turn up the heat, and then.

Come on nice and brown. I don't do any of it crispy. That sounds good, Yeah, that sounds good.

I like a traditional Thanksgiving meal, but I have no desire to do it.

What is a go ahead? Don't take this offensively.

Take I'm gonna take it as ask me about white people Thanksgiving?

What is that like.

It?

Do you have like canny yams? Or is it pumpkin? I fucking hate pumpkin almost of any kind. Okay, I don't even like pumpkin. Pie is disgusting.

Same.

No, I all the you know, the green bean cast roll, the fried onions on top of the cream of mushroom soup inside it, the mashed potatoes and gravy, the yams, all of that stuff. The sweet potatoes. We'll do all that. Get a little individual crock pot of the sweet potatoes. I like that if the chef is whipping something like that up.

What about music? Do you play like certain? Do you have like a playlist for for Thanksgiving? No, not a playlist, but I like to have some music on it all times. And then I'll out of respect for the family, I will mute the football.

Yeah. Same when we eat, my mom makes us mute.

The football, which is but luckily, like where we sit, you can kind of still see the game.

But uh yeah, that's that's same, Miles. We mute the football. Now, look at that. We're not that different. Look at that. And no pumpkin, that was a surprise. I'm not going to live. But I'm sure a lot of people love the pumpkin. Yeah, I don't like pumpkin half and half.

Speaking of your grandmother before, what what did she cook that you would miss?

So?

My my grandma was from the South so grits, grits. She cooked a lot of grits. Since that's my it's kind of like my default. I could eat grits with anything. I'll put meatballs on grits, oh yeah, or approve.

Of that, Yeah, grits, catfish.

My mom actually makes the best mac and cheese I've ever had, so like Southern style food for big bone people.

Everyone says that they have like the best mac and cheese thing, And then I tasted in my gap, right, it's good.

Yeah, how it's not that different. It's not.

But I think it's just nostalgia. Okay, I would say the thing. Once it feels like oh yeah, once it feels like home. There's a there's a frequency that comes through the food when you taste and like, yep, that's it.

You ever had a Chitlin? Have I had Chetling's Eddie? Don't? I don't think you have. I don't think I have. Yeah, I've only had him once, but uh, don't eat those talk about these crazy parties that he used to cater.

I remember this one party I did at the Chelsea Hotel. It was my doctor at the time. He was my chiropractor. Him and his partner would do these underground weed and burlesque parties, and so he invited me to it, and he was like, oh, we would like to be to cater it. And they tell me the location of a day of and so I pull up to the hotel and I have this. Uh my sous chef was like the super Christian lady, like old school Christian lady, guarantee

And it wasn't a sex party.

It was a bird less party, but we weren't in the main room, so we don't know.

I don't know. It's just people coming in.

They're masked up, and uh, we're serving the food that all of a sudden, everybody goes in there and they take their seat, and out of this room comes like this woman dressed as a clown with like a bousier, like super tight and like a thong on high heels, dressed like a clown, just like walking in the room behind her is another woman runs out the room with like tassels on her nipples and like runs into this

After that she was like, no, I'm busy, man. And I was like, damn.

Did they enjoy the food? They love the food absolutely, Yeah, yep, love the food. That's the cool thing about food. Like once before I got into it, you wouldn't know these little worlds exists. But at the end of the day, everybody got to eat, and uh, it's cool to be able to.

Serve even the guy walking my guy again with in fact, man, guy's gotta set up and eat at some point.

You gotta you gotta keep this little fucking apple.

Well, yeah, man, did you do any new catchphrases while you were there?

I didn't say tear that ass up. I'll tell you that.

Everybody's on the show, I try to bring them stuff. I just give you stuff that's laying around my house. It's never exciting.

See what I got for you. First thing I got for you.

We never used this this. It's this fancy spice rack. I don't know if you've heard of March pantry, but if you look it up, it's hundreds of bucks.

Okay, okay, have this. Yeah, it's George shout out to you. This heavy ass. Uh stand?

Well, yeah, yeah, we don't scratched my beautiful table. I just got this table enough. Yeah, put that on floor. You can put that on floor. You have a you have a funk with chili? Hell yeah, okay, then this week I gotta get you this right here, Malibou chili cook off. My man, you now won a chili competition too. Next next year, it's in September. Okay, you're entering boom boom, you do this. No, I bet my my friend Mona, shout out Mona, She'll get you.

Make sure you're in all right. Look at that.

You got to tighten it up. My head is bigger. Yeah, you hit this only get hit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is big.

That looks good. It's good.

All right, that looks good. You interviewed. I saw, uh you posted it with Ricky Williams. One time I was doing something with Ricky. We're shooting something and he knows that I'm a diehard Dolphin fans and he said to me, honestly, he was like, hey, you know when when I left.

When I quit, were you mad? And I was like, I was a what I was.

Like, absolutely, man, I was like, they destroyed you. They like they forced you to run through the middle for a decade and just hammered you because you're the only person on the team that could do anything.

You know.

He was after Marino before whatever. And I'm like, I was like this notion that I that I as a fan of fanatic care like I don't want I don't want them to destroy themselves. I was like, you're nonsense, frigging Now with Tua, he should take his ninety six million and.

Go is guarantee too. He got some money guarant.

He's got ninety six guaranteed, and the other one hundred is like but here's you know, here's the thing with him. You know that he's Hawaiian. They've got this culture. His entire family is gear to run football. I've heard stories about his father raising him. And it wasn't do five pushups. It was it was a little more intense five hundred or it was, or it might have been something else. I'm not I'm not speaking on what I don't know, but I'm just saying. And their whole livelihood is football.

I mean, if you can't feed it with ninety six million, how big are these mouths.

I know it's frazy big mouths. I know Andy got no income text there too, so listen.

I always thought it would be great if someone came out like a Heisman Trophy winner, waited for the draft, got drafted number one, and then said no, thank you, I'm not playing. That'll be lovely in fairness that what really did happen. Charlie Ward, Yeah, he got the Heisman, went to basketball. He said, you know what, I'll sit on the bench in New York for two decades and just make bank, collect.

Checks, brains intact with a heisman. What this is why I've always felt bad. It's not the right word, but whatever, A little sad toward football players.

Whenever you play your last football game, whether it's high school or college or pros, that's it you Rarely it's one of the nobody has a fun pickup game of tackle football. You're done for the rest of your life. Unless it's Thanksgiving, right, but it's not. It's still not. I mean you still go, you go all out still of course. Yeah, that'd be the scariest Thanksgiving.

Yeah.

I just thought, you know that, I've always been grateful, Like the comedy where it's like, oh, I can do this till I'm an old man if I want to. I think it's great that while you made it to the mountaintop, you're like, hm, I found something else.

Cycling meatballs, all right, meatballs? Yeah?

Fuck cycling? Okay, cycling really does that get you going? You're like you love it?

Hell yeah?

Oh man, I see you guys on the pch in your pelotons, oh groups of you, and I'm just like, oh shit, I'm gonna I'm gonna hit them.

I'm gonna get get over get over. I don't do that.

I'm not like a you don't race with people, No, I do by myself, and I wear like this hat, I have no shirt on, like okay, all right, my bike like a fucking huffy.

I ride bike like.

It's funny to me though, that they do all like wear the tight gear and everything like that.

It's like, well, you're not actually in a race. Why does it matter. I don't care for those people either. Okay, but I.

Ride wearing the pants. No, you don't have the butt thing I wear this shit. Man, you don't have a pad in your ass. No, okay, that's really.

I'm gonna say. I'm a cyclist. I like to ride bikes.

I like to ride my bike because it's like it's my form of meditation versus it being like I'm going to this destination and trying to be a douche and take over lane. I like to be in a cut. I'll ride on the beach, not near cars. Especially in LA. These people drive crazy. We got text to send out, that's a fact.

Today.

A lady was sending text right next to me. But yeah, I hit a guy on a bike once. When I was first moved to lah. He was riding and I wasn't going fast, but I turned into a gas station and he was going straight and I clipped him, knocked him off the bike, and he was he probably was unhoused. Yeah, he jumped off his bike, looked at me and just goes a and got on his bike and rode away. I was like, oh Jesus, place.

Is terribus a monster.

If you could play a different professional sport, not one that you're't necessarily good at, but what would be like?

That would be a pretty fun professional sport to be baseball man A check what And I'm built like a baseball player.

I look like Stanton. We have the same build.

And by the way, and they can forty five doesn't bother them. They'll fucking go out there and still keep swinging it.

Hell yeah, I could do that.

So baseball, that would be your That would be the one. And I love to swim, so I love swimming.

Yeah, but there's no money, and swim at the opposite of what you're saying for baseball swimming is that there's no money.

Why would I would probably do like Olympics, not the Olympics. What's the cathalon one of those ath I don't know where you run, swim bike that one.

I would like to do that. Well, you can do a triathlon this week, here we go. You want to do that, I would love to do that.

But but that, But I think the thing is when you're an athlete, you're born that way.

Like I can't help but be a competitor and everything.

Like if I have children, I will never let my children win at anything until they actually can.

Even then I'll break a hip from the beat them. That's big talk.

Until you have that kid and then you want to see their face light up.

No, I'm not see mad as fun.

You're gonna have children, yeah, but hopefully soon, Yeah, hopefully soon.

I mean were practicing, Man, I'm shooting that shot. I'm Steph Curry.

Boy you thank god after you shot? Amen?

Amen, good for you. I'm not shooting my shot anymore. I had my shot snipped.

Yeah, yeah, I was that. It wasn't so bad.

Is it like a dog where you become like super nice after they kmitter you.

No, I'm just as horny as I was. That's good to know.

I love that I waited till I was forty four. Are you happy with that decision? No, God, I wish I was still single.

Damn hilarious.

If you could go back, would you have had children earlier? Would you leave it to No?

No?

I wait, I would have liked six more months of being single. That's it, and I would have I needed to know that I was going to be locked up after that, so I could have gone like a madman for six months. It would have been nice to get the Rolodex, just with tons of extra.

Hey, big hit, I have a serious question.

No, what is your advice to a first time male parent, especially dealing with a pregnant significant other.

You have to suck it up, m because she's going to be a bitch. I believe that. Okay.

Her innards are changing like like where like organs were are now complete in a new spot in her body. She's gonna be it's gonna be awful for a year and a half, and you just have to embrace that awfulness and have fun, Okay, and then it's just it's silliness.

Do you like kids? I love it you like your kids? Yeah?

I like I like kids in general, but I like my kids a lot more than the other kids.

When you when you watch them, is it interesting to do they like do things that you do and you're like, oh shit or someone.

I don't notice it as much as my wife will point it out to me, but it really is a time machine in the sense that you all of a sudden, Oh fuck, I get to relive life again.

Yeah, huh.

So that part of it's neat. You're like, oh, this is different. And I always knew that you were going to care more about them than yourself. But when I was just my own self, that's all I wanted to care about, and I was good with that. But then when you get the kids, you're like, oh, this is fun seeing all their silliness.

I look forward to it. That's good. You'll be good. Thank you, you'll be good. I appreciate that. All right.

Well, listen, Darrell, we appreciate you being on the show. And I look forward to seeing at the Malibu Chili Cookoff. Hell yeah, brother, thank you, Tasha, thank you, Drell. I hope he wins that cookoff next year. Then I'll take some ownership in it. We're gonna do that segment. We haven't done it in a while. Hello from Toss Show from Sydney and Justin. They invited me to their wedding. The invitation was in both English and French, so I who knows where the wedding is. I didn't click on

Ah. What else?

Eddie's tour Go to his website. Go to our website Daniel Tosh dot com. Check out our tour and now you ready, you ready, Carl free plug, Let's do the free plug.

Hit the music.

Oh wow, that is depressing. That is extremely depressing music. Well it's free, okay. This week's free plug is from the Wheeling Turkey Trot, a five K on Thanksgiving morning and Beautiful Wheeling West Virginia, Ah.

Where is that exactly? What's that near? What? Real city?

Near Pittsburgh, oh Man Wheeling join his Thanksgiving Day at the Alma Grace McDowell Center, located on the beautiful Wheeling University campus. If you hadn't kicks off at eight thirty am with a one k.

Children's fun run. Look at that.

I've never I've never been involved in a one k? You get a shirt for that? Do you have to wrap up in aluminum foil at the end of a one k?

Yeah?

Good?

Yeah, all right?

Then the five k run and walk begins at nine am sharp. You think they let the walkers go out in front. No, they make the runners go in front, but they should do it the opposite way so that the walkers are getting passed.

Is scary.

Today's the last day for virtual sign up, which is thirty five dollars plus a four dollars and sixty cent processing fee. Or you can just come with a sweaty water cash on race dam guessing. All proceeds benefit the Wheeling Parks and w reck Ay. So get yourself out there, burn off some calories before you sit down and gorge yourself while your uncle rattles off of some light hate speech. Yeah, I don't know what you guys do. We all have traditions anyway, Happy Thanksgiving, See you next week.

Eddie do the gobble gobble again