My Favorite Military Long Distance Runner - Paul Johnson

How many miles a day? Are you running about sixty sixty miles a day? Somewhere less some of them. I think my biggest day was eighty miles and my lowest was like thirty five.

Cash Show, Cosh Show Up, Tosh Show Club Show. Hey guys, welcome to toshs Show with me, mister Edward Gosling. Eddie, how are you?

I'm good? How are you?

Liar Eddie wasn't here last week, as everybody knows he was. He was gone. We missed him. The fans were angry because anytime Dylan or John or Pete chimes in, they're like, oh, they don't have the comedic chops. The show really took a dive.

That's unfortunate.

And you were on a cruise.

Is that right?

He's on a cruise. I did a Caribbean cruise three days.

It was pretty nice by yourself. Oh yeah, good for you.

Sometimes you need a little me time to recharge.

And I like to get on a cruise with two thousand people. I don't know.

No, you were taking care of you were taking care of your mother, your your father passed away. We're very sorry about that. And your dad was a you know, I don't have a ton of military dad experience, but just always just a sweet man.

Yeah, that was always.

It was always like delight and to have like a goofball like you as a son who just always was talking nonsense. He really just rolled with the punches constantly.

Yeah, he was great. We would prank me and Eric would prank him a lot. My brother. Uh, really fun stuff. Great guy colonel and the military.

That's just that's just a lot. So you went back to Florida.

Yep, went to Florida.

Well that's a Was it beautiful?

Nope, it's just hot.

It was hot. You look a little sun burn if I'm being honest with you. The first thing I said, I saw Eddie gave him a big hug. I hate touching people. Hugg Danny, and then I go, man, he looks sunburned. He's like, yeah, I fucking pressure washed my mom's house.

Yeah. The whole back. Lannai was just like, I mean, when it rains there, you get every so I had to get through there. And then planning.

She just immediately passed on her honeydo list to you.

It really was like we would do stuff during the day and she would take out something from the freezer and thought out for dinner. And then we would sit there and watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune, have dinner.

And you just became your father. You became her father.

I started wearing his clothes. I didn't do that, but I was like, I do feel like I'm filling a void for her right now.

Well, yeah, and your your mother also a very sweet person. You know what, if she's listening, let's go come on out to California. You know, split your time. You come to California, you head on over to Austin to hang out with your other son, play with these grandkids. Ah, we'll take care of you. You spend a day or two at my place. That's it.

There you go.

You know, set up.

We got you three months a year placed two days at mine. We'll do it. We'll have some fun. Also, my stylist, Carrie, her father just passed away. Yeah, it was just it's just awful. They say it happens in threes. Dylan, even Dylan doesn't know his father.

I don't believe he doesn't know.

Yeah, he's a donor.

John.

How old were you when your father passed? I was thirty years old, okay, and you were cleared of all charges.

Uh yeah, yeah they didn't. They didn't know pretty well well orchestrated.

All right, So that didn't count because that was that was quite a while. So the third well, it's it's awful, Eddie. I owe you five thousand dollars. Yep, Eddie and I made a gentleman's bet five thousand dollars on whose father would go for We did not do that. No, no, let's go double or nothing. Wives carries it over.

Everybody wis will live forever. Well, now, if you go on a cruise.

Tips, I got some tips.

Well, I tell you if if I can do anything for you, you know I would, And actually I talked it over with Carly Eddie, and we would like to adopt you.

Hey, okay, that'd be great. I'll uh let's do that. I like the idea you adopting me.

I don't know if it's like, are you legally allowed to adopt someone that's older than you?

I'm five years old, so barely older.

Barely older?

All right, I bet you could.

Okay, yeah, done?

You're my dad now, yeah right.

I don't think you should call me a dad right away.

I'd like to go to college again yeah.

Oh god, well I do want you to share a room with your little brother.

My brother. Yeah, be my brother.

Now, well, we're glad you back. You only missed one day of work, and we'll dock your pay. Okay, did you have to can't on any shows? Are you going to have to cancel any shows?

No?

He'll be buried at Arlington National Cemetery. So that's a way fancy, Yeah, pretty fancy place.

Well they do.

I mean I'm just gonna ask, do they do the.

Yeah, full military honors?

How many how many rounds they fire off?

Sixteen twenty one?

Oh it's a twenty one or maybe seven guns.

Three times one twenty one?

Yeah, Because he was a bomber pilot, they've they've asked for like a flyover to.

So they've asked for who who knows to ask for the flyover?

Who knows to ask? I mean the funeral hum that you do. They're kind of like, because he's a colonel and he's a pilot, you can ask for a flyover, you.

Know, to ask for this stuff.

I mean, yeah, you did, I did.

Oh good for you. I mean, your your parents were they their affairs weren't order. But it's just it's it's always so like, Oh, you just have to spring into action right away, right.

You guys start wrapping things up.

Here we go.

Now, today's guest military kind of you know, Navy. I'm teasing seamen. By the way, when you came home from your trip with your family from Florida, did you consider jogging back instead of flying?

Did not?

No?

See, today's guest would have told you, Hey, take that three hundred dollars, just spend it on awful seven to eleven meets and just jog forty to fifty five miles a day and you could get home in an easy fifty two days. Enjoy casta. My guest today is insane. There's no other way to put it. He ran from la to New York City in seven weeks to raise money and awareness for mental health issues in our military. He will be the third runner we have had on

That was great to me.

Wow, I have so many questions. Let's start here we go. You ready? Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes? Mmm?

Do you have proof?

No? Oh, okay, you just said believe. Uh huh do you ever have any an experience. So the ships for the Navy, huh down like the uh some of the engine plants. Weird stuff happens down there when you're by yourself, and it's ghosts, like the lights will turn on and off.

Well, sure it's a ship. Yeah, but now before I thank you for your service, what is it that you're running from?

Ooh, it's deep.

Boredom? Is that what got you into it?

For real? No, my buddy wanted to run the Marine Corps Marathon. I was like, sure, I'll run a marathon with you.

And you had you never had ran a marathon.

I had run a marathon because I did an Iron Man back in college, but I hadn't run in probably close to four or five years.

How many miles are you running in the Iron Man.

Twenty six point two? You do have a marathon at the end. It's at the end.

What's the hardest part of the Iron Man?

Guests staying awake? It was a long It was my first ever like long race, so it's just like super tiring.

How long did they take you to do the Iron Man?

I want to say it was like eleven hours.

To do eleven and then incredible.

Came about a short race. Now, all right, so you were in the navy. How long are you in the navy. You're still in the Navy. I'm in the Navy for another two days and then I'm out.

Two more days.

Congratulations, So seven years total.

Could anything tragic theoretically happen in the next two days that would make you like they keep you in?

Oh no, it's all signed, PaperWorks done, so.

Not like we need you. So this just happened. Aliens are off the coast of blank. We need you out there.

You throw aliens in, I will volunteer, go'll go back. Yeah, well only if it's aliens. Though.

What made you get into the Navy in the first place?

Needed something to do. My parents, well, my mom wasn't in, but my dad was Air Force for four years. His dad was career Army. My mom's got some Army on her grandparents. So it just seemed like something interesting to do. Looked in to it, and then started applying.

Was like, sure, when'd you apply?

How old? So I went through the ROTC program that started when you go to school Penn State. Oh were you there during Sandusky? No? Right after I was safe. That would explain the running. Yeah, took very few showers there.

I mean that that was quite a thing. Were you were you hesitant to enroll there because it was right after or were you like, now's the time to.

Go, Now's the time to go. You know, the market's down. Got to slide in there like you can.

Oh man, why can't they win a national championship?

You know, I've never actually been to a game, so I couldn't tell you.

You never went to a game. You've never been to a white out.

I bought season tickets and I would resell them. Did you make money off of it? Yeah? Oh so it was like just a business move. I guess.

Were you a hustler.

I don't know about hustler, but you know I was able to buy my romin every day.

I was getting to get into the nifty lions. I can't even say that word properly.

Don't. Don't think they're a real animal. I agree, all right.

You join the Navy. Where were you stationed.

First three years? I was in road of Spain, which is on the southern coast, right on the straits of Gibraltar, so you have like a joint base between the Spanish and the US. There, beautiful, beautiful it's beautiful. I would go back there, not in the Navy in a heartbeat.

Because you're on the ship a lot all the time. That's the bad part about the Navy. It's having to be on the ship all the time. Yep. Oh.

And they're not like nice yachts either.

I've never been on a cruise. I've never done a yacht that both. That's not my world. You were at the station there for how long were you there?

Three years? Okay? So twenty eighteen to twenty twenty one? All right?

And where'd you head off after Spain?

San Diego? So I was there twenty twenty one to twenty twenty three. Sometime you like San Diego? Love it? Almost moved back there.

My good looking people down there in San Diego I enjoyed.

Sometimes I don't go. I don't.

I don't love it as much as other people do. But that's me. They're here and one there. You have any cool sailor tattoos?

Seven or eight? You do? Yeah?

Where are they?

I'm not asking a well, we can show them if you want. You're gonna get in there though.

Whether I wanted or not. By the way, is it true that sailors drink a lot? Yes, do you drink a lot?

Not anymore?

Did you drink while running? No, it's not Can you drink a lot?

I used to be able to not anymore?

Okay, But sailors and that is that is a it's a fact. It's not a stereotype. It's based on truth. Did everyone on the ships drink? Oh yeah, but you don't drink when you're on the ships at all.

No, they don't, right, they don't. They don't have the Spanish juice. Like we had a Spanish navigator who like hung out with us as like an exchange program. He was so pissed the first day when he found out there was no beer on board, Like, he was pissed.

He didn't understand our customs and rules. And we've always had that rule.

They used to like that's where a cup of Joe came from for coffee. They got rid of alcohol and they said, the guess guy's name was Joe or something. He got rid of it. It was secretary of the Navy or Naval operation something, and he got rid of it and they replaced it with coffee.

Cup of Joe came from the navy. Did you guys know that did not go. That's great, we learned something today. Did you join Top Gun?

No? No, that's like a pilot thing, and I'm not a pilot, so no interest. I wanted to do Explosive Orange Disposal EOD didn't work out when I applied for all the transfers, so I stayed as a service warfare officer on the ships. Did you watch the new Top Gun Maverick movie I have?

Did you enjoy it?

I did?

The opening sequence is all I like.

I just like that.

I just like people doing big thumbs up. Tom Cruise, what's your thoughts on him?

Don't like him? You don't like him? Why don't you like him? When they filmed Top Gun Too, they basically contract out the ship to go to sea, so they sent five thousand sailors to sea just to film the movie. And then when they were on the ship, none the sailors were able to use like the gym or like, they weren't even allowed to like look at him. They basically like, you can't look at him, you can't use the gym because it's for him only. So within the navy, don't like him.

Oh, I didn't know. I didn't know that Prima was like that. I think it's just funny that he keeps doing these things. Watching him run is so silly. So while you're in the Navy, did you stumble upon this desire to become an ultra runner or was this kind of always something that you wanted to do.

I completely stumbled upon it when I was living in San Diego.

You seem just I know nothing about anything for the most part, but as a runner. If I were to guess what an ultra runner looked like, you seem big, you seem bulky, dam then I wanted you to be I was. I'm thinking Kenya, Yes, I'm thinking those runners. Yes, I'm thinking light, easy on the knees. You seem like like like a big old dude going through Is that normal or most ultra runners.

The heavy froze do not look like me. The pros are stick figures that can fly up a mountain. That's what That's what I was thinking. I'd say I'm upper middle of the pack. The advantage I have is that I've got strong legs, so I'm pretty good at the climbing portion. But yeah, I carry around extra weight that most people don't.

How did you decide all right, Well, I'm gonna, you know, try to break the record and run across the United States of America.

The record was kind of an afterthought. I knew I wanted to do the run, and when I first started training, I was like, there's no way I could do like forty miles a day. That's how many people have done this run. It's not there's a real official tally, probably somewhere less than a.

Thousand, and it's three thousand miles.

Ish within the running community, you have to do three thousand miles. But as long as you go city to city across the coast, it counts.

Why did in its Los Angeles to New York? Why don't people nobody does North Dakota down to Texas?

Well, that would be up and down, not across.

It doesn't It doesn't well, I mean, I guess it all depends on your perspective in the time of the year, which way the planet is.

No.

Is there any shortcuts like when you're running, like like, you're not running on a freeway ever, are you?

It depends No interstates, but definitely freeways.

How direct of a route are you doing?

We did it La? Where we go California, Arizona, northern Arizona, northern New Mexico. We touched the corner of Texas. I just like dipped my toe in it because I did not want to run through it.

I did what I did the Texas part. You were smart to just hit the corner of it, because when you're driving, if you do the ten the long way through, it's just horrible. Yeah, this never ends.

But uh, Kansas, Indiana, Illinois, Ohio.

Kansas is boring. That's a boring run.

But they were some of the nicest people. Well, sure they have to be n they got nothing else.

Going on to being an asshole and you live there.

That was Indiana, Oh worst state? Why was Inny of the worst state? They will you have a four lane road, the massive shoulder, they will purposely cut across three lanes to try to hit you and run you off the road.

Oh yeah, that's just a couple of bad apples.

I would run with like my hoosiers. Yeah, I would run with my pole with like a carbon call a car by tip on it. They get too close, they get it.

Did you actually have some close calls every day?

A lot of cars, so many cars.

It's such a bad idea.

It's a terrible idea.

By the way, what is the world record running across the United States of America?

It is forty two days, six hours, and thirty minutes. It's something like seventy two miles a day, okay.

And how quickly into your run did you realize I'm not going to break this record?

Day four?

Day four?

Yeah, call quits early, okay.

But you're like, I'm still doing Did you always say I'm gonna still do this no matter what.

Yeah, because we were gonna We're doing the run, right. The whole point of the run was I want to do it a be the fundraising and see the awareness. The record was just kind of icing on the cake. If we can do it, great. If not, then.

You're a good person because you keep saying the word we But I don't give a shit. How many people sacrificed to go on this little fucking voyage with you? You're the only one doing the work.

It's right, I had to carry the load.

So how many people did you have coming along?

I had a full time crew of about five and they're in an RV. They're living in an RV.

Did you sleep in the RV as well? Or do you guys get a hotel.

No hotels. I had like a four transit van that I was sleeping in, So.

There's two vehicles following you the whole time.

Typically the RV would like jump ahead for the day, they do shopping, laundry, maybe they get a shower once a week, and the transit van would stay with me and kind of just follow me along, feeding me and giving me water. Would you shower every day in the inn where the van had like a little you know, shower.

Thing in garbage showers?

I thought it was great.

Look at you just doing it all right? How many miles a day? Are you running?

About sixty sixty miles a day somewhere less some of them. I think my biggest day was eighty miles and my lowest was like thirty five. I don't even get it. I don't get it on any left. I can't run three miles. We can know it right now. We can go after the we talk here, I'll tak you about it.

I don't want to. It's just so hard.

How often are you walking uphills? Don't? I don't run up hills, you'll walk up them.

What was the biggest elevation changes you were doing? We did quit saying we.

Is They're in a car, that's right. I made fun of them because they weren't acclimated. They tried to go running at seven thousand feet in flag Staff when I was up there, and they all just died because they weren't moving with me. The highest point was I think nine thousand or so feet in Tows in New Mexico. The most vert I did in the day was about eight thousand because we did two four thousand foot climbs going up to Tows in one day.

How many days it take you to get out of La just because of the traffic.

I didn't have traffic where'd you was on foot? We did Santa Monica Peer and then I'm still like learning all the roads out here, but I think it was foothill, like ran along foothill, I think, and then we stopped somewhere around Fontana on the first day. Second day we were in Palm Springs. That was the eighty mile day. And then like getting to Palm Springs were literally running

Oh, why are you an idiot for not having a shirt on? Why is that a bad move?

Heat stress? Oh? Yeah, so I didn't get sunburned, But like that was part of the reasons we had to call the record attempt was because my body just went into total shutdown on like day three or something.

When did you like it? Click? You're like, I can go forever? Do you just not get tired?

Now you get tired. But like the best part about the sport is it's really just like an eating competition, okay, because you just got to keep eating. If you keep eating, you make it to the end. It's like you're not running super fast comparatively to if you were sprinting. You're just kind of chugging along. You take some walking breaks, eat a lot of food, and just keep going.

Hold on your weight. Yeah, you started the race.

Weighing what one seventy eight probably.

One seventy eight, and then halfway through where what did you what did you get with the lowest amount of weight. Where were you at.

One fifty something or like one sixty or low one sixties? Yeah? Great?

And then by time you finished the race had fifty two days later you weighed what you had gained.

I gained. I gained all that weight back plus a little bit.

How is that possible?

More food?

Okay, I want to talk about your diet because it's just it's just horrible.

It's great for running.

It's not. I mean, there's nobody can say this is the right thing to do. You would start your day off with what the powdered donuts powder donuts? How many would you eat of those?

Those? Like mini powdered donuts sleeve? Uh no, like big white bags at the grocery store, a big white bag. I would eat three of those in the morning, three bags, three bags of donuts, and then like half a family sized thing of golden oreos like inside of pancakes, so it'd make pancakes with the oreos in them, and I would eat that for about three hours, and then I would eat all the powdered donuts and that was like breakfast. It was delicious.

I mean, I understand that you're burning calories, but there's better calories. Better ways to get calories?

How do it? Like a salad?

No, not a salad. But I just don't think those donuts are the right things to eat.

You just gotta you gotta put sugar in and burn it off right away. And that's why I was losing weight. So how did you gain weight? Then we started taking creatine about halfway through, so some of that water weight we weren't taking creatine. No, they were taking creatine too. That was a team effort. They were like shoving pills down my throat at night, like take your vitamins. And we also started eating a lot more.

Like what else were you eat?

How? What was a dinner? Like, well, you skipped lunch. What's lunch? Lunch was mac and cheese and steak.

That makes more sense, pasta and steak.

Yeah, if there was a burger cheering McDonald's, I'd get a big mac or a single large fried and vanilla milkshake, pizza, half of pizza, dunkin donuts, we'd get like a full dozen of glazed donuts to pop those down.

Were were you eating in a civilized manner or were you just like just like oh.

Yeah, yeah, pinkies were out and everything.

No, But I mean, like, were you sitting down in restaurants ever?

No, you don't. You don't have time.

I didn't think so.

Oh you're like, I'm literally you eating run on the side of the road at the same time you were jogging and eating. It's my superpower, iron gut.

No, it's not your superpower. How is your your BMS BMS bowel movements your ship?

Oh yeah, code Browns?

Is it okay? Code Browns?

Plentyful and mixed variety?

Right? So were you having loose stools?

First one of the day, yes, uh, second one of the day about two hours later, No, third one around lunch, yes, and then sometime in the evening it was back to solid. It was like take turns alternate.

That's where I tell you your diet was off because like better foods would have maybe stopped something.

You still haven't said which foods, though, I don't know the answers.

I just you know, I would assume someone that that that's in this world would be like, this is what you should be eating, not three bags of powdered donuts every morning, just so many donuts so good.

Well, I'm not gonna lie.

I can eat that stuff.

It sounds like you're ready to run.

What were you drinking? Were you only drinking water? Were you drinking some gross stuff?

Water, milkshakes, melted ice cream? Like the freezer sometimes didn't work. Man, Well, if I am, it's too bad, I guess I'm gonna get Oh.

I can't imagine what that would do to me if I was running. What about finding bathrooms?

There's a lot of foliage out there on the side of the road, so.

You were you were just doing your business wherever you could.

It would depend nobody.

Nobody had it. I mean the RV obviously had it toilet, but they weren't next to you.

At all the time. I mean the van had a toilet in it, uh huh, but it was only for Code Browns, that was it. Otherwise piss on the side of the road. Well, sure, Sometimes you just pop a squad in a bush because the RVY there, you know, they leave frog and you really got to ghos. So you just find a bush.

When you were using this portable bathroom in uh in the van?

Yeah?

Did they dispose of it outside of the van immediately or were they driving around with your shit?

I mean it's like one of those containers where you can like shit in it a bunch of times and then you eventually just empty it.

Okay, so they weren't emptying it right.

Away, No, they would probably empty it.

They were driving your three days, yeah, the country like my delivery driver. Yes, I guess that's why you say we they did a little bit of the work. What about wipes? Were using wet wipes.

Or just wet wipes and a lot of lube? That's night lou Loop saves lives. There's no such thing as too much lube.

Just because your butt was so sore.

I mean everything just chafing. You don't like if you have any chafing, it's better where.

Your nipples burn.

No, you tape them.

You tape them. Yeah, and you lost all your nail fingernit toenails.

I probably lost three on that particular run.

Were you listening to music all the time you did?

Yeah?

What kind of ear budget are you using? Shocks? They're like the bone conductive where it's like sits right here on your head, but it doesn't actually go in the ear.

How long was that battery?

Lasting? Ten hours? He's wow?

Do you get a sponsor from them?

Now?

What's going on? What's the name of shocks?

Shocks?

Shocks. It's almost embarrassing that I have to ask at this point. But you know, if you don't do right by a serviceman, that alone. Good God. All right, you got sponsored by shoes, but they didn't really sponsor me.

No, it was like in kind support. I was about twenty twenty one twenty two pairs of shoes that we went through, pretty much all Hoka bondies, Clifton's and clos.

Hokah's are popular, but man, I find them hideous to look at.

Well, they got good colors. You just don't like color.

Then I don't like the big the big graphics on the side's too much for me. Ok, are you a sponsor other show? Come on, hook him up, do something for him. So far, were you dating anybody during this?

No?

Do you have a strict no bust clause during the run?

No busts mm hmm.

What do you mean, you know, uh, take care of yourself?

Yeah, not during the run the whole time.

Now days when I got back, well, I know.

Your brain's just so fried, like you don't even you just all you do is you run and you immediately pass out and go to sleep.

You're never horned up on a run.

No, it's so exhausting, like you just you can't even think.

How many hours a night were you sleeping three to four? And was it like sound.

Sleep you like wake up with like the meat sweats every couple of minutes.

Because of all the meat that you were eating.

I didn't was seeing that much me. It's mostly donuts, steak you god, lunch with the mac and show like your body is you're freezing cold, but you're just I would literally wake up like I got out of the show. Were just soaked in sweat? Every morning? Were you worried that you weren'ting to be able to finish? Or every day?

Would have you quit?

No? I mean like the answer is no, I wanted to every day, but then it's like, oh, well, I'm already using my vacation days, like I might as well do this. Also, it's like I would feel bad about letting down everybody was coming out to run, because we had over the course of the run, we probably close to ten thousand people come out along the way to run with us. So it's like I don't want to let those people down.

How often were you completely alone? What percentage of the race do you think race whatever we're calling this cannon all run?

I want to eat a thirty percent of it?

You were alone? Yeah, okay, and the rest are just random. People would run and people hop on me. Any any hobbies run next to you?

I couldn't remember because I was just so like focused on the ground in front of me.

Did they want a chit chat at all?

Some of them did, and it's just like, please leave me alone. Other times, if I was like in the headspace, I would have some conversation, but it wasn't very very much.

Did anybody like, hey, let's pick up the pace a little bit here?

They probably should have.

We got a record to hit, buddy, let's go. Not to be sexist, but who put gas in the RV's water tank? My mom?

Uh huh?

And what happened? So she put gas in the water tank? Yeah, so now you can't use water ever again on that rental RV.

Well, the problem was you couldn't clean it out. We would have, but after she put she's always so embarrassed. I tell the story after she had filled up the entire water tank with gas and she realized it. To get rid of it, she like opened all the fasts and showers and just ran it through all the pipes in the RV rather than just like siphoning it out and like throwing some dish soap in there.

In fairness, siphoning is hard, it is. But the fact that she had gasoline coming out the shower.

Yeah, and so like Rob Rob came back into the RV and he's like, yeah, I don't think this thing's supposed to smell a gasoline. And she's got like towels hanging up soaked in gas and everything. So it was like literally a driving bomb at that point.

When did she realize that she was putting gas into the wrong spot?

You filled it.

I mean, that's a pretty good one to hold over your mother's head for the rest of her life. Like as far as like, oh cool mom things to do, that's a good one.

How much money did you raise a little over six hundred k. How much did you pocket negative one hundred and fifty thousand. It costs a lot. You went in the hole. Oh yeah, like you're on the hook for one hundred and fifty thousand. I was, it's paid.

How'd you pay?

Oh?

My goodness, that is that is awful how much did you want? You wanted to raise? What a million?

A million was the goal? Yep?

If you would have raised a million dollars, would have you pocketed money?

Then I still would have lost money? Yeah? Nuts? Wait was it because of the RV? Did you buy this RV? No? We we destroyed that RV. Didn't get my security to posit back with it? She rented it. Yeah. The insurance is always worth it for RV.

Oh, and they covered all the stuff that you guys did do.

I paid two fifteen hundred dollars deductibles for probably about fifty thousand dollars worth of damage.

What did you guys do? Why were we guys so mean to their RV?

The general blew up my mom put gas in the water tank, and my crew chief crashed it into a concrete pillar in a parking lot.

It's because they were like looking at you, joh the whole time.

He was asleep. Oh, and he was trying to park in a parking lot and he was super sleepy and he crashed into a pole. He also ran it into a ditch in Indiana and like completely blew up the drive train underneath.

And what are they when when these mishaps happened. Are you like jogging in place waiting for them to fix shit or do you just go on ahead?

You just keep going. I mean that's why we had two vehicles, and you're smart. They'll figure it. They'll figure it out, that's their problem.

And they always got to the next spot.

Yep, they did lose me in Prescott, and I had a caller, where is Prescott, Arizona, Like just south of Flagstaff?

The van?

Was it next to you at all times? No, They're like there was a lot of times they would just leapfrog me. Mm hmmm.

So I guess they can't drive in a that'd be so horrible to drive that slow at all times.

Usually I run on the left side of the road, but because of the the bank, it would like mess up your hip, so you got to switch sides to balance everything out. And so when I'm running on the right side of the road, they would drive behind me at like five six miles an hour.

I couldn't help. But notice a lot of vandalism on your journey. Is it legal to randomly spray paint your milestones on the sidewalk?

Debatable?

Do you guys clean that up or no?

No, still there. Somebody sent me a picture on Instagram the other day. They're like, yeah, your marker's still here.

Ah, that's pretty good. Who the hell was the guy in your documentary that runs with the motorcycle helmet on.

Dead Scout. He's a LA local, that's his thing. Runs with a helmet on in all black. He's done the transcon by himself four times now with a helmet on. Yeah, he's a psycho in the middle of the desert. He'll run like that too.

Do you actually get runners high?

Yeah? You do.

I've never experienced it. Have you ever tried real drugs?

Not for another two days? Oh? That's right.

Well, I've never been a drug person. But I've also never been an exercise till I die person either. I'm not even sure if you actually asked a respected doctor, what's worse for your body doing heroin or what you do heroin might be healthier.

There's only one way to find out.

We gotta do heroin, all right, man? Oh gone, I mean, honestly, it's not healthy right to run that far?

Why not?

Well, I mean honest it's it's bad. You are your knee like.

You know, my knees are perfectly fine. Your glutes and like the whole posterior chain will start to get messed up. So that's why you have to like change shoes or change how you're running.

But I mean you even talking about the hips thing with the sides of the roads, like that's all.

That was definitely opinion, But eventually like it went away after we kind of like rehapped it a bit.

It's good stuff, man, that's good stuff. Has anyone ever been more excited to enter the state of New Jersey than you were on day fifty?

I don't think anybody's excited to enter the state of New Jersey?

Were you so happy to be finished?

When I saw my first sign for New York City in Jersey, it was like, oh, new York City this way? I was the happy personalive. Yeah, it's like we are done, Thank god.

Do you finish in Times Square?

Yes?

Police escort getting into the city. It's impressive. And how long did it take?

Fifty one days? Three hours and so many minutes?

Were you late to work?

I almost was did you how fast did you have to go back to work right away? Because I like, you can only take so many vacation days at once. The maximum is sixty at once. I had all these days, and so I planned fifty because we're like, oh, let's try to get the record. And then we realized, oh man, we're not going to make it in time. So I texted my boss and finally got them to approve an

Back to work.

Would you when you're in New York City canes raising canes? Is that it right? Right? Some chicken tend us and fries?

Uh huh? Listen, you're not going to mess up. If it ain't broke, don't fix it right?

How do you even begin to plan something like this? You get your friend to make their route for you, you get another just tell your friends to do it for you. Most of the stuff. Once you get the route planned, it's pretty easy.

But you were as an altrunny, Where is this like something that people talk about, like, oh, you ever gonna run coast to coast?

It's becoming more popular. The charity that it was done with, Team Red, White and Blue, they just did another version of it. They took twelve veterans and they carried a single flag from San Diego to DC. I think they finished yesterday or two days ago, and they never stopped moving the flag. I think they averaged like a seven to forty five pace. They would trade off like every thirty minutes for two weeks or three weeks straight. So they just raised another like six hundred k plus for that.

I want to do Key West to Bellingham, Washington. How many miles is that? That's got to be over five thousand, is my guess. My guess is five two and eleven.

Let'sa say it's less. Say it's four thousand, thirty.

Five thirty five hundred. That's it. Man, I was way off. Are we ever thinking about running around the planet and you have to swim whatever gap you.

Have to swim, We could but swim across the ocean?

How about that?

We're going to need the sponsors. I'm not pocketing. I'm not paying for that one.

No, No, you're not coming out of pocket ever.

Again, No, no, sir.

As long as I'm in charge of this, you're the new manager. Well, I'm not the manager because I don't want to even take a cut of anything. I'm more of the idea guy, and then I get people to make sure they pay for it. All right, what do we want to do? You could just do a fun swim to Cuba, just to show people how it's done. Ninety miles. Is that an easy swim for you?

Probably not, but it's worth of shot.

We'll have We'll have your mom and a boat next to you.

Oh man.

The fact that she had she just turned on all the faucets. It is just so perfect. All right. Everybody's on the show gets a gift. It's just stuff around my house that I don't need. This gift though, I was like, oh man, this is perfect for paul. A massage table.

Oh perfect, thank you, That's what I needed. Yeah.

I figure if anybody deserves to be treated, oh yeah.

Thank you, does it come with a massage therapist?

I can get you a session, all right. My guy's is Ukrainian.

He's I know what he's doing.

He did, He's never rubbed me. He's Uh, he just does my wife as she always our back always needs to be aligned. He's a bit chiropractor too, so he's a little more legit. I like massage is just to fall asleep. I don't want to be I don't want.

To know what manhands all over you. No, I don't. I don't.

I don't like manhands on me. Okay, that is true. Also it is true. I don't like it, but I'm not. That's not what I want to get into. I don't like I don't like to feel pain.

They can be gentle.

This is this is what they say to you. I can tell you by the way, Paul, maybe the first guest that I've ever had that I didn't have to say, get this off my desk. Tell me about the days after finishing the run, Like did you sleep for a week?

How did I slept for a day and then I was pretty much back to normal? Like the second day, I was like back to normal?

How soon after you finish this race did you run again.

Two days later?

How far did you go a mile.

Warm up?

Uh?

Huh? Would you ever try it again? No?

But you've done other races, like other massive ultra marathons.

What was the one over in Europe. In the French, how was utmb ultra trail du mont Blanc some French words. It's beautiful, it is gorgeous. I got I've done that twice now it's one hundred miles trails around the you know, France, Italy, Switzerland, back into France. It's gorgeous. How do you have to be invited? You either have to qualify to get direct entry where you.

Enter a lottery, and how did you get into it?

I qualified? My first one hundred mile race was in Auburn, California, and so I placed I think twenty first or twenty second overall, and I guess within my age group. I got automatic qualification for the French race for two years. Yeah, that's pretty neat. Their foods aren't great. They just have a bunch of pasta which was good, but no donuts. Yeah.

I know most people when you think of Italy and France, you don't think of good food. Paul got to change your diet. Would you ever do a run in like Antarctica already?

Did you did?

Yeah?

Once you do Antarctica November this past year.

How was it cold? Was it enjoyable?

No?

It was exactly what it sounds like. It's Antarctica. I've wanted to go to Antarctica. I would go back, but not to run because we did one hundred miles down there and we set the new record for that.

Did anybody else run with you? Did you run by yourself?

Well, this one was a wee because Rob was with me. Yeah.

Yeah, so just two of you ran.

It was part of like an organized race, but we're the only ones that were actually doing one hundred miles. Everyone else was doing like a marathon or one hundred k What kind of shoes were you wearing? And to run an antarcticle, they're like Solomon's. They have like a zipper on the front. They go up like mid calf and they have like little nano spikes on the bottom for grip. A lot of trench foot because they're just not breathable.

What about desert runs? Do you are you into those or not?

I hate deserts. Hate them.

It's tough, right yeah.

Never doing a desert race probably ever? Well, I have, but that's why I'm not doing them again.

I watched a thing on a bear. Grills is his team that films him when he does these like survival shows, and they all like are furious when it's desert hot climb because they're like, they'd much rather be in frozen tundras because when they're in desert, it's just a matter of time. One by one they will all pass out. Yep, it's just like they just drop. Yeah, you can't. You can't the heat winds every time. Have you ever considered running the Barkley Marathons.

No, I'll go watch like tailgate it, but I'm not running it.

Did you hear about this year no one finished?

Nobody? Well, it's cause too many people, because there were three people finished last year. No, it's because one woman finished last year and they were like fuck this, Las said no way.

Yep, that's what happened. I made it impossible.

Barkleys is just a scheme for him to get whatever T shirts or cigarettes he needs for the year. That's the entry fee.

I bet you could. You don't think you could do it.

I could do it. I don't know I'd finish it.

I mean, the whole being able to it seems very frustrating. I don't like that element of the race of like, oh, I didn't you know use my compass right and now I'm not where I'm supposed to be. This is very disheartening.

Bushwhack in the whole way.

Do you want this to be your job or no?

I like doing it for fun, like I don't want to be my job, so like I have like I don't know when I'm gonna do it, but sometimes this summer I'm gonna go on cruise ship and run one hundred miles on the cruise ship just because I can. And then I'll like chill out on the cruise ship the rest of the time.

Asking me annoying. If you're on that cruise seeing this guy just all day.

Long doing last, are you gonna hate me?

I can think of better places to run. Where are you planning on living after you retire from the Navy?

Inland Empire? So about two hours east? Uh huh yeah, ranch a Cuckamonga area.

Okay, you're gonna be a southern California person, Yes, I am. Is that good or bad? You're looking forward to it? I mean, are you looking forward to civilian life?

Yes? Yes, I can just go wherever I want without having to tell anybody or get approved to go, Like, just drive out here, hang out all day. I'm gonna go for a run after this. Do you like to run on the beach? Beach trail? Road doesn't really.

Matter, okay, I mean there's good trails here.

That's what I was looking up.

I know some trails. I don't run on them. I just walk and then yell at my kids. I don't don't dodge. All right, Paul, Well, thank you for being on the show. I look forward uh to you enjoying civilian life here in southern California. And if I see you on the freeway, I'm not gonna get too close to you. I'm gonna go over. I'm gonna make sure everyone around me knows. Let's let's move over. He's got a poker. You always run with the poker.

Still, no, I haven't experienced these. I've just done the trail so far here, so no roads yet. That's good.

Stay on the trails, all right, Paul, appreciate it.

Yeah, thank you, very thank you, Cash.

Well, thanks Paul. Now, I'm told there is some rumblings in the community that are questioning the validity of his run, something about him not releasing all of his GEO tracker. I don't understand it, but I want you to know if he didn't run every step of the United States of America, I don't care.

It's like, you run one state, We're good. That seems fine.

Yeah, you run as you pick a state made. Fuck, you're gonna run across Maine. There's so many there's so many bears and random things. That's that's impressive. Now you run around anything a track, I'm like, whoa, you did a whole track that's a quarter of a mile. You run around Dutton's property, that's impressive.

You speaking about John Dutton, John.

John fucking Dutton. Now there's there's no distance that I won't be impressed.

With.

My wife. We're going on a little trip and she's gonna be in a bathing suit and she goes, oh, I gotta I gotta get in shape. And I go we're leaving in two days. And she's like, that's all it'll take. I'm like and I and I said, and I know this is right. I said, Oh that ship is sailed where you can get in your body that you want into two days? That doesn't make any sense. And then she got mad at me, and then she

Do you feel like you're motivating her?

I don't know.

I don't care if she's not in the house. She's just toning up in two days. And then then what are you gonna do? She goes, Then he's gonna eat like a monster while we're gone.

So yeah, I'm gonna do it.

Good for you.

We're turning up in four days.

You got a four day tony. Yeah, you're talking about it's like seven minute abs. Eddie's got seven minute abs.

He can do it.

Eddie's got world class calves. All right, Well, what's our plugs? We got our tours? Eddie and I going on tour. We're seeing this great country and and a lot of shows in America too. Check out tossshowstore dot com. Get some cool merch that I will sign if I see you in public and you want me to sign it, But you gotta take it off right, okay, And then you gotta have a nice piece of sanded plywood.

That you put it on, and probably a sharpie.

You definitely have to have a sharpie, not blue. I won't use blue because blue is what the counterfeiters like to steal your name or something. I don't know. Somebody told me something once about that night. Thought I listened, How.

You doing, Carl?

Should we tell people the horrible thing that happened the other day at the house?

Oh?

No, you guys want to hear this? Yeah, okay. The other day, Carl and I are just doing what we do, going around the property seeing if anything is out of order. Lo and behold, here comes Potato, our beautiful fifty pound pig. And in his mouth. What was in his mouth Carl was a freshly killed rabbit. Wow, and like it was. I was like, oh, he's been eating it. I don't know how he I know he didn't kill it. It was he they're killed by some poison or something else or old ages, old age.

I don't know.

Do rabbits die of old age. I don't think they do.

No.

I think they automatically get eaten by coyote or something. But anyway, so he's carrying this this disgusting you know, it's it's a new kill, and he's running toward the house and I'm like oh, and I'm yelling at Amanda. I'm like, Amanda, get the fucking rabbit out of his mouth. And she's grossed out. But she's like a farm girl, you know. So she's trying to chase him and I'm like, get it out of his mouth, and it's just off.

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