My Deck Guy - Freddy Carrion

Other than powerwashing. What can a homeowner do to preserve the life of their deck?

They off it.

Kashsha Cash Shows Show. Welcome to Tash Show. I'm your host, Daniel Tosh. We are here in Malibu, California, and I know everybody likes to always talk about how crazy they think the people of Malibu are, But I've got some news. This is definitely a sign that people here in Malibu are not as crazy as I once thought they were, because I was confused when I first moved here and I found not one, but two large crystal shops very

You know, they are a waste of money because they leave them outside and no one steals them.

Right, there's five million dollar crystals being left outside. Well whatever, they're out of business. Good riddans, I say, and I, you know, support the new car wash. Probably have him on the show soon. I think we have time this week to do my favorite segment, Dear Toss Show. That's where our subscribers write to me. They're problems and I fix everything all right, Eddie, let it rip.

My wife wants to start watching sports with me so we can spend more time together. How do I not let this happen? Should I just stop watching sports before she ruins them for me?

I like to where his HEA's at. I dated a girl once that really loved sports and knew everything about it, and I was miserable the whole time. I can't do this. He's right now. Should he stop watching the sports? Now? Here's what he has to do.

In the world of.

Unlimited DVR storage and hide score technology on all the apps, you have to go into your preferences. You gotta change your Apple TV so that it doesn't ever put any little icon up in the corner. Close game between Miami and Charlotte. You gotta get rid of all that. And he needs to just start watching all of his sports after she goes to bed. And I know what you're saying, that's porn time. No no, no, that's got to get pushed

That's a brilliant idea.

Well listen that why That's why I do the segment.

My girlfriend always leaves her phone unlocked when she does this, Is it okay to read her text messages? And if that's okay, is it then okay to text people horrible messages from her?

Short answer, yes, But there is some layers to this. I used to always take my wife's phone back when we were dating, way before children, and I would fire off horrible things from her phone and then eventually her friend groups like oh okay, this is this isn't carly. But I mean I would I would start normal, and then I would just get it like ridiculous, like hey, oh I think you we should do this, and hey, hey, girls, send me photos of what underwear you're wearing right now.

That's so hard hitting one, right, off the bat, But I'll have to say I haven't seen one, but I do believe that.

Where you can't see ghost, they're invisible.

Then I don't.

Hey your accent. You from Louisiana? Yeah? Born? And were you born in the Bronx?

Yeah? No, actually I was born in Queens, moved to the Bronx at a very early age, the Lovely Bronx. And yeah, I can't watch this accent. That's it. I just can't. You know, to thirty years in California, look at this accent.

Is it help business? Your accent?

God?

Does it hurt business?

You know what? I gotta be honest with you. I you know, if I'm meeting someone from back East, Hey, New Yorker, you know everyone else. You know. Basically, I just try and tone it down as much as like you.

Don't tone it down at all. Really, Freddy, the very first time I met you, I was like, oh no, what did I get myself into? This guy is crazy? And first of all, always say a few things about I'm I'm very I'm a big fan of yours. But you're You're intense, You're a close talker, and I'm like, oh, this is this is my nightmare. Then quickly I'm like, this is the greatest guy ever. I told my wife,

And I lovedn't mention handsome at all.

You're not handsome at all, Freddie, those days have sailed? Are you a diehard Yankees fan? Yeah? What about the Mets? You like the Mets?

Mets suck. I'm a Yankee fan. I love the Yankees, but I have no real reason for loving the Yankees.

Now, I.

Think that's only because I'm from the Bronx. You know we got out of the Bronx. Yeah, well, you know the place is a piece of ship, So you know, I only associate the Bronx, I guess, with being a Yankee fan. So that might no. No, now I'm thinking, is that the reason why I'm proud of being a Yankee fan of the Bronx.

Did you study decking in college?

Uh? No?

No?

How did you get into the offer that?

How in the world did you get into being literally the deck doctor.

Oh my god, you know what. My story is long and boring, but I'll edit it.

I was.

I was a hyperactive kid, so I got the heck out of New York as soon as I thought I was capable of doing something. I was a musician. I always thought I was going to be an actor. But I got to be honest with you. It came out here, studied a little bit, played in some bands late eighty did all that stuff, long hair. I'm not what kind of music sad to say, glam rock music.

Lambrock's wonderful. Well, it had its moment.

Look, I'll be honest with you again. I did. It wasn't that crazy about it was in a couple of bands. All of a sudden, Guns n' Roses hit, glam.

Rock just went by the wayside. Do you play the strip? Did you ever play on the strip?

Played on the strip? Gizaris? Let me see, really the Rainbow a couple of times at the Rainbow. But you know that's it.

Just you know, drugs not many. You know, it's funny.

I just and the funny thing was that I was working during the day as a carpenter to support my my musical and acting lifestyle. I was studying with Susan Strasbourg, you know, a daughter of the father of method acting. You know, I really thought I was going to get in to it, but I had no money to survive, you know, and I'm dead tired going to these classes at night. So I'm like, fuck this. I said, I'm going to just dig in. I'm gonna do what I know how to do, and started some just small jobs

My parents, if you fell for that, you said, yeah, completely. You thought it was the story of Cinderella going to the pokey.

I went to the pokey and all right, you know you're gonna you're gonna, definitely you're gonna have to take this one.

What are you buttoning up for? Yeah? Chilling.

I'm nervous because now I'm about to tell you something from here. My mother I told I said, Mom, it was a mistake. I mean, she said, You're gonna get fucked in the ass, and I said, my god, Mom, I started crying on the spot of fifteen years old. That was it. From that moment on, I went to what they called a board of Cooperative Educational Services program where they started to teach me carpentry. Next thing you know, I was out on a work program, working for a

All right, Freddy, I got to know, did you get fucked in the ass?

No? No, no, I'm waiting for that. Yeah, I mean I figuratively yes, yes, but but but no.

No, good for you. Do you like these celebrities try to like tell you like, hey, don't ever use my name or don't ever say that you've worked on my house?

All of them? Yeah, look, I work. You know, you're a heck of a celebrity. I mean what I mean by that is, you know, you seem to be a pretty a pretty straightforward guy. Your family guy. You know, I like your dog, your wife, your kids. At uh, you know, believe it or not, we have more in common than you would think.

I believe it.

But yeah, it's it's just so you know, I have had people that I've been so uncomfortable working around that. Yeah that I just like, what, you know, what the fuck am I doing? You know that like celebrity ship. I'm not. I don't even want to associate with these people and they're basically my neighbors. But the uh, you know, you know, I'm I'm trying to really sugarcoat this. But there what happens, you know, really, really what happens the

I tell people not to take the shoes off.

You go, okay, and I take them off.

I don't want your shoes already, rather your shoes than your socks on my floor.

Well, I got news to you. When I walk into people's house, I take them off, okay, and and and I say who it was? But she says, you bringing you know, I guess maybe people do bring bring in whatever with with? She said, well, do you have something to cover the floor with? I said, and I didn't want to say I just took off my shoes, but I said, no problem. I went out and I got some of my drop clothes, right, which are marginally clean

Okay, cool Mario Lopez.

That's another thing, all right. I cannot know not Mario Lopez or when I get a kick out of you know, because now that I you know, I washed the Tash Show.

I washed the shot it.

But now that I watched the Tash Show, you love it. It's actually take in here.

Please, I gotta ask a question, let me talk, Let me ask some questions. How did you come up with a deck? Doctor? H I'm surprised that wasn't taken.

Doctor dek deck doctor. They both roll off the tongue. But everybody, everybody who's ever built the deck is a deck doctor, all right. Every contractor they ever know it always you know built, there's always decks on his resume, and a handful of them will call themselves, you know, Joe Schmoe contractor a ka deck doctor. So I've seen it over the years forever when I try to get deck dooctor dot com, deckdoctor dot com has been gone for thirty five years as some guy in Pennsylvania deckdoctor

By the way. Uh, you know you've been doing that building these decks for thirty years, have you? You mess with porches at all? You fuck with porches or.

No, you know what, anything outdoor man, anything that has to do. I just want to stay outdoors. You gotta pull pergola, you got a trellis, you got an arbor, you got anything you want to do outdoors. Pool deck, second story deck.

We've got stoop. You mess with stoops.

Stoops and normally you know, you associate them with concrete. So you know, if I had to, yeah, I've built wood decks over stoops.

You know you deal with concrete at all or no.

I mean when I have to. I'm doing a job down the block from you right now, where I got to pour concrete slab for a jacuzzi and you know, a little curb to hold a little bit of retaining walls hall City Hall like you you know what city Hall changes? You know a lot. I mean back from when I believe or not when you dealt with them several different inspectors even since then in the neighborhood, we

You ever been red tagged?

No, I had been. I have been popped by an inspector. Let's come on my job and said, hey, you know you've been down to the city on this one, and I have to say no, I'll be down there tomorrow. Good news is that I build a code, so I've never had any problem. But yeah, of course, I've a side stepped the building department.

Please walk me through the processed time frame and cost to build a moderately elaborate deck.

Your deck is about one hundred and fifty grand whoa, By.

The way, is my deck bigger smaller than Justin's.

Justin claims to have the largest deck.

He won't shut the fuck up about this. Look he keeps telling, let me tell you about go ahead, Justin. I don't know why. By the way, Justin has put a few people on this show. He introduced me to you, and he introduced me to Alligator Jesus. Anyway, Justin tells me he's this French guy that I can't interview him because he won't let me talk. Ever, He's basically like a shark tank guy. People ask him for money and he's like, yeah, I'll give you money. That's all I've

All right, look, I'm building a deck right now that's about almost four thousand in the square feet. So Justin's, I gotta admit, is a big deck, but it's broken up a little bit more to pain in the ass to work on. He spent god knows how much on that beautiful Brazilian hardwood deck and all you see is a billion screws in that thing. Forgive me, Justin.

He didn't plug them, he didn't have plug, he didn't.

Plug it, and uh, you know, I'd put my foot in my mouth. I go, Justin, I can don't worry. I'll come back. I'll do it for fifteen grant immediately, immediately, as soon as I no, no, no, what am I talking about. I can't afford to do that for Justin. I can't afford to do it for fifteen grand But I will come back and take care of it for you, I promise. So, yeah, as soon as I that subject came up, Yeah.

I got to just a technical question break. Sometimes my plugs start to have our floating up. There's no way to tap those backs.

Give it a shot. If they don't go back in, it's probably because, yes, all right, you want to get.

Technically sometimes all right, this talk about this wood, this would well.

This this looks this looks like just a piece of oak, simple red oak that's been created into a table shape. And but my point is that, uh, you look at this grain. Okay, the grain is heading in one direction. Technically, if I put my plug in with the grain in the same direction, yes, I shouldn't have a problem. Okay, but when you're putting in ten thousand plugs, you're just

You misread it at first. At first you thought it was a red wood.

No. At first I thought it was an epaid deck, and then I thought it was a a there's another product that's called Kebny that's a very similar product. But regardless, yes, you're right, it's sometimes these decks they throw me a little bit, mainly to the truth because of the color. When you see a color that's not naturally in nature or that a tree doesn't have, and you know, if you look at your deck, it's hard to describe that color. You can say, oh, it's mahogany, or it's oak, or

It looks durable.

That's the color.

Give me a low end what somebody can spend on a deck and off the charts, what could they spend.

Off the charts, off the charts honestly, right now, in the last couple of years, you know, I'm just finishing up one hundred and twenty thousand dollars deck that's about five let's just say, about the same size as your deck, but broken up into about five different decks on the property. That's about one hundred and thirty grand. That boils down to almost fifty grand in material right there. Our issue

So what did I do wrong to mind mine that you had to come in and fix? God, because I have. Everybody's getting all their socks dirty if they walked on it. There's oil come out of it constantly.

Yeah, your deck doesn't require oil because again, oil is required to nurture the cellulose fibers in the wood. Okay, you've got something that the fibers are petrified. They've heated this wood. They've gotten to a point.

Where why do they oil it? I didn't tell them.

To no, But you know, the it's almost like, as a matter of fact, you know, deck's done, let's get some oil on it takes out some of the blemishes and then they don't even know what to put on top of the product. So yeah, so it sits on top. Oil attracts dirt, It doesn't really want to dry because it's oil. It doesn't really evaporate.

You're telling me though the air this uh this marine marine layer. Yeah, that acid rain marine layer crappy. You know, look, we as wonderful as our neighborhood is, we do still have.

Pollution in our area. And a deck is an outdoor floor that everyone beats the cowboy heck out of nobody. But nobody cleans their deck except a handful of customers that I'll go and swab the decks on a monthly basis just to keep them.

How should you clean a deck?

Basically, you gotta swab the deck with a little epsom salt and water. That's the worst case scenario. If you don't want to use a cleaner or brightener, just a little bit of salt and water because you don't want I don't like to use a lot of chemicals. I like everything that I use to break down into the environment as salts so epsom salt is like an old school method of scrubbing the deck with a little lep some salt, wash it down. It's dirt free. Oil is the only

Rank these woods in terms of favorite when building a deck epay, Acacia, cedar, redwood, or hempher.

You're talking about almost five different families of wood. They're all so distinctly different. So hemphur quickly framing lumber, that's a two by four. You're building your house with cedar, not normally associated with decks anymore because it is a little bit soft. So cedar you'll use it on siding, You'll use it a on fence post. Build fences, Yeah,

You work with landscapers when you're building your decks, I do. Yeah, that seems like those things go pretty we go hand hand. That's the one thing I regret. I didn't do the right lighting on my deck.

Nobody does. Nobody does. And every time I do a deck, I always tell my customers let's think big. Let's think big, and then we can back off.

Based on But I should I should have talked to you, Freddy, because I should have wired for lighting everywhere on my deck and I didn't.

Now, you do have an opportunity with solar to do some nice stuff that you don't have to do a lot of hard wiring for. But the solar is so unpredictable. Light hard wiring, Yeah, it's a hard hardwired.

Yeah.

Lighting. Exterior lighting is.

A way to washing. Should I be ever power washing my deck or should I stay away from it? I'm due to power.

Wise your deck and buy another year from now.

What's the hardest part of building a deck?

It's really not a difficult thing. What's difficult for me is maintaining the highest quality control I can with guys that I hire.

Now A lot of people that might look at California from Afar might just think these are day players from home Depot. But these guys really are are, you know, masters of their career.

To be honest with you, you can get some quality at a home depot. Okay, all right, Now that being said, if you're a homeowner and you go to home depot, the first thing they're going to say is, okay, let me take.

You can't do the accent.

I can't do that.

Jesus. You're going to.

Say, okay, may I see the job and I will quote it for you after I see it, And You're like, you need to see the job. You can't tell me how much it's going to cost to work for three or four No, So what I'm saying is the whole negotiation thing has become part of the routine now. You know, even if I pull up believe me, I pull up a lot and I I see guys that I've known, they've been there for years. But the first thing that happens, they're all going to crowd my truck and then you know,

No, you can't say that because they they know that question they do. They just say, yes, we gotta have a trickier question.

You're right, you're right, but that does break the ice. And usually the one there's usually a leader, as you know, there's one who will speak for everyone. That's the guy always say okay, And you have them work with tools, you know, and that's usually not important because I just need them to dig a hole or sand or something like that. But I'm trying to somehow vet these guys.

For sure. It's like a dating guy.

Exactly exactly, because you know, next thing you know, they're going to be in my truck with whatever colonne they're wearing. That's what I got to deal with. But that being said, all right, these guys alone, oh man, I'm wearing a little bit of money.

You working on a deck of a house while a porn was being filmed? Yes, okay, First of all, are you sure you were not in that porn? Have you watched that porn? Like you're in the background, sand in or something like an extra?

Look, I gotta be honest with you. I'm known as the hammer, but that's uh.

Who calls you the hammer.

Nobody calls me the hammer. The point that I'm trying to make is that yes, they actually were out on the deck and camera ndering out, not cameras, but.

That's not a point. That's just people sex.

No no, no, no no. They were definitely filming inside. But you know, the the the actors were coming out on the deck to have cigarettes. Yeah, and this was the section of the deck that I had completed and I'm on the other section. It was it was an interesting moment. Your guys loved you that Oh my guys loved me that day. And the funny thing with the greatest part of the day was that they asked they asked us if we needed anything.

You know.

So it's like sometimes when client desks if you need anything normally you know, no, no, we're good.

You know.

I tell my guys, you know, we don't go in houses, we don't use the bathroom.

But where do you go to the bathroom when you're building these decks, then.

That's kind of tough because a lot of times, you know, well, we'll take a break, you know, the guys have cards, will take a break for lunch, the guys will go but no, no, we got you know, occasionally got to sneak one off, you know, And I always tell you I didn't pee in your yard.

That's fine, But I always tell people that they can use the airstream is unlocked and there's a bathroom in there, so I always tell people to go in there.

I we don't never use the airstream.

I tell you, I'd rather that than pee in my yard.

You know what.

And that kid comes around and then sees some big old hog. He's like, how come yours look so much bigger than my dad's. I don't want to have that conversation. People may be surprised. You know that you're forty five years.

Old as of last week. Thank you very much.

How old are you, Freddy?

Oh my god, I'm sixty three. I will be sixty four years old.

I'm sixty three, almost sixty four. By the way, you're physically, how are you doing physical? Are you still in pain? Where? Yeah? Where's the pain level?

I I swear to you I am not in an ounce of pain right now. But apparently I've got degenerative discs, I've got osteo arthritis. I've got a bunch of stuff happening, like right in my core that keeps me in a bad quite a bit.

But how often are you taking baths every day?

Yeah? I probably spend at least two hours a day in a tub.

What Yeah, two hours a day in the tour.

In the morning. When I get up four point thirty in the morning, I am in the tub because it look I sleep with a vibrator.

Okay, where.

I sleep with a vibrator? Man, I am literally up three times a night, and I'm making this move because that's the area, okay, is in your back right on my lower back?

Right?

Yeah, I mean, and I am literally I probably get two or three solid hours of sleep a night. Once I'm up and moving, I feel pretty good.

What do you love most about living in southern California?

Oh, there's no place I'd rather live than where I live right now. The best thing about it, it's easy to say, the weather. There's very few places I really enjoy going. We go to Mexico a lot.

But your daughter wanted me to bring up the fact that you got busted in Mexico with her when she was a young child.

Oh my god, all right, real quick, all right, take the kid to eastlam Moo Harris A right, tiny little island off of Cancoon All. They have his golf carts there, so you rent the golf cart and he cruise around the island. So I got my eight year old with me. I think she's eight nine years old. And to make a long story short, what better time to teach a kid how to drive?

Sure driving a golf cart something? The same rules, Mexico whatever.

Mexico roads are empty, throwing the driver's sea. She's doing a great job. You know where this cop came from. But woo, we get pulled over by is he in a golf No, he's in a He's in a pickup truck. That's what I'm saying. I had no idea where he came from. Literally, I say, sweetheart, just keep driving, just you know, outrun him. No. I just thought maybe she'd pull it off, like, you know, just if she looked, you know, like.

She meant like a nine year old exactly exactly.

So he pulls in and he stays behind us, and I'm like, all right, just keep driving, keep driving right. So then he pulls up alongside of us and we're like, all right, we don't want him to ram us. I said, pull over over here. She pulls over shoots the tires exactly. I'm like, okay, he's getting serious. Pulls up, comes over right. So I'm trying to think quick. Immediately, I grab my leg and I put it up on the golf course. I've seen a hold of my leg.

Or you're taking injury, taking an injury right, just man Spanish by the way.

My Spanish sucks, but enough to have him guide us to a hospital. And I say guide us, I mean Sarah's still driving.

Fake it all the.

Way, we fake it all the way. I'm like, oh this is I'm like, okay, pull into a hospital. He literally pulls into the hospital. I get out. I limp into that plump, got a plate all the way through, a limp into the hospital. I'm sitting there. I'm in the waiting room and they're like, s senor, guess who program? What is the problem? What is your problem? You know? This was after about three or four.

Times on the police left. Are they still?

They're in the parking lot. So I'm sitting there going, okay, you know, do I check in?

Do I?

So I reached my pocket. I'm looking I I got about probably twenty five hundred aesos. It was a couple hundred bucks, give it to Sarahs and get out there. Just give it to the cop. Just go give it to him. Say thank you. My father's going to be fine. Thank you. You know, I said, hug him if you have to.

She goes out, an eight year old go out there.

With cash, shows that this is this is the way it's done. Literally watched him. I mean he took the money from her, like you know, there was no hey, had no qualms about it. Took the money, literally looked at it, flipped it over, put in his pocket, got on his pickup truck, drove away.

And her.

What's the problem, what's the problem, like, guys, Literally at that moment, she started walking back the door he left, made the right endo boom out of there, jump right back into the golf cart. Other direction?

Did she driven? Okay, how exhausting is it having a kid that's involved in so many activities.

I'd be a multi multi millionaire at this point had I not sacrificed all the time that I took with that kid. All right, so it's all say.

Okay, your daughter's graduating soon too. She's a hockey product.

Yea, yeah, we can't she's a hockey prodigty.

That is probably the most expensive sport.

Thank you. Like I said, there's so much stuff, would be a Malta Malta.

I remember as a kid in Saint Louis, my dad loved the Blues, love the Saint Louis Blues so much, and I was like, I was like, should I get into hockey? Baby? And he's like, you don't want to. They basically said you don't want to get into hockey because they were because they knew how expensive it was, and they just didn't want me to play.

Every sing I did with my kid from the age of two years old, they said, she's got to do it. I took her to I got pictures of her running five years old medals for running. I took her to swim class Lenny Krazelberg swim class. She was already completed the whole program by seven. I took her to the gymnastics place over and Agora Hills over there, right, the lady comes up through Russia. You must train your daughter with us every day. I'm like, what she's gonna be

Okay, So it's a hockey prodigy. She's not interested in playing college or beyond. Is that because nobody cares about hockey outside Canada and the Northeast.

No, it's because obviously, what future does a woman have playing hockey? And even if it gets you into a school, the school is so determined to win that you're training on the ie, you spending two hours a day in class. My kid happens to also be a you know, a singer, and she's a.

Singer, a capting of her debate team. That brings me to this. Go ahead, why doesn't she just not go to college and go straight to Disney on ice singing and ice skating? Boom, I solved all your problems.

From your lips to God's ears.

Everybody's on the show gets gifts. I just got to. I just find stuff around my house and I give it to you. You ever get splinters working on decks?

Yeah?

Yeah. My wife has drawing salve and I'm like what she is, like, who uses drawings? She goes, oh, it's good for you for and I'm like, and it leaves this like black tar stuff on you. I'm like, I go, I don't ever, this is I've never heard of drawing salve until I met my wife, and then she's always got a tube of it. And I'm like, I'm not putting this stuff on our kids. I don't even notice.

I can't.

No, I have extra. Uh, I have extra doormats. I figure you, of all people, need some extra. These are brand new, never been used. These are good. I don't know what this. What is this? Chili witch? Send me more of these, Chiliwitch. I like these that you bring these to the next time you have some hoity toity. Uh, person, say I bring my own match to my gig. This

I'm going to send you a photo of me on the deck. No, no, no, no.

That'd be nice. You give those away or do whatever you want.

Definitely a functional gift. I think that nice. Functional well, you know, look, I appreciate it.

The warranty on No, no, those things are from Amazon. They have to be quality. Eric, get these floor mets in the fort, the drawing soult on the floor.

It's just like Christmas. There is more than I got, you know, well.

But you're gonna love it. You got this good stuff here. You've been doing this line of work for over three decades. In that time, have you experienced deck building becoming increasingly complex?

That is the most boring question, asked Breddy.

I won't ask you you ever fuck with any of those composite materials or fastating a fuck?

They need your customers.

Have you ever had a second any of your customers? That's a good have you.

You want to get into it a little bit?

No, unless you want to tell me do I know them then my neighborhood. I built my wife's deck before she was your wife. No, that's not true.

I'm just trying to find I have a couple of questions for you.

Oh Jesus will take you ten hours to figure out how to use your own phone.

Thank you. Yeah, I'm a little inept. No, no, continue, please continue with your line of questioning. Something I lose.

My is Justin's the biggest deck in Malibu? Yes or no ah.

I'm pretty convinced I'm building a larger deck than he has now. But I'll tell you what. Let's let him live with that, because you know he's he's got such little little in the life. He should.

Make sure that stays in the show. That's too fun.

Justin. I'm sorry, man, I love you, and forgive me for not recognizing you a Trancis Market. I kind of knew it was you. You're driving that Bronco, that retro. It's not.

Blazer, he mocks me, because I have a retro bron You got.

The retro Bronco.

You know you think you can build a dock, of course, in the middle of the night. One night, in the middle of the night, I got to do it illegally.

Oh yeah, I did in Malibu Lake. But uh uh, you know what, we can try and pull that off. Why not. Yeah, ship, I'll bring a crew over there.

A crew.

You got too many people going to keep that quiet?

No, no, you gotta you gotta knock it out in the winter, in the middle of the night. You get a long night.

That sounds like fun.

Though, Are you playing? Are you playing candy Crush over there with the No?

I just fucking can't, I swear to God. Oh there it is Frederick Carrion. Thank you. All right, let me see if there's something here that i'd like to talk to Daniel about. Oh my god, going on, I got a whole bunch of time. Here we go.

Freddy's gonna interview me now.

So you say you like chewy cookies. You know what I don't like chewy? I make cookies. I mean it's all right, Peter's gonna get some. If you're lucky enough, you'll get some. You'll probably complain that they're not chewy.

Let's say crunchy.

No, they're a it's a cranberry chocolate chip. But the cranberry's a little creanberry with the chocolate chip and the walnut.

Oh fuck off, I don't want any of it.

Go my cranberry chocolate chip walnut cookie. Very special. You love it. Did you ever take that Porsche driving course down off the four or five waste of time? You want to have fun? You go to Fontana and you get in one of those literally they got the NASCAR cars on a half mile track. Crazy again for that experience. I just could you know. Sometimes I'm listening to you know, some of your guests make me nuts.

You're listening to my podcast and then you're taking it's taking. No, tell me, this is what I will in this particular moment.

Eddie, you weren't at the Heart concert last week, were you?

No?

I wasn't. Okay, and then I swear I saw somebody that looked just like Eddie.

Did you have a crown on?

Well? That's he had a hat on, and I was trying to get him to take it off to see if he had a crown underneath it. Nothing there?

All right?

No, okay, I think I.

Mean again, I think I think we hit all the.

Yeah, I got, I got, I got you put your phone out, I got one more question. I'm looking for a hold on a second. Oh, I have a tash impersonation.

Okay, we'll get the phone off my desk.

All right, all right, if I had my glasses, it would be something like this. Ah, that's it. When he like this, Kidy goes out a waste of time.

You guys, you're the best. Thank you for helping Pasha. I want to thank Freddy for being on the show. I'm gonna be honest with you. Freddie might be one of my favorite guests. I mean, complete maniac. I also need him to come back to my house right now now. Am I looking for a deal. No, Freddie's got a family to support. I respect that charges me an honest rate, But I would like my deck cleaned. Did you hear this, Carl,

Very different, yeah different.

She didn't play the cello. She played the clarinet. Now I gotta ask.

Her, love it?

What did she play? Hey, Margot, what instrument did you play growing up?

Piano? Trumpet, french horn?

French horn for the last six years, you.

Know, from junior high to high school.

Yeah, all right, that's what you Never played the cello, never played. What about the clarinet?

No, Carol played the clarinet. My two sisters did that.

I never did.

That's all. That's all. I'll talk to you later, Bye bye. French horn. I didn't see the french horn. No, I didn't see that coming. All right, let's do this free plug as free plug is for a couple of witches who run the Green Witch Apothecary located in New Brunsville, New Brunel News, New Bronfels, Texas, New Bronfles, Texas Apothecary, The Green Witch. Huh, I mean that's who should run an apothecary. Witches. They specialized an artisan made herbalist, formulated

It stuff lasts a long time. I have to be.

It'd be a weird long Yeah. What a what a great way to save twelve bucks, Eddie making me plug this goddamn witch business. Look ayeah, the beer bomb run up to sixteen dollars. The oil sixteen dollars. You get the oil or the the whatever the ball?

I get both?

Oh? Oh get Okay, that's some money, all.

Right, oils for the skin bombs.

The beer, all right. They have anti aging creams, wellness tonics. They're witches. They probably can whip up anything if you ask him. Free shipping with orders over one hundred dollars oly ship. That's you gotta really spend to get some free shipping.

Good deal.

That's not a good that's a bad deal. Or or you can if you live near New Bromfields, you can pick up your order from their front porch or one of their area market events they attend each weekend in the Texas hill Country. But where's the Texas Hill Country?

Everything north of Austin.

No, this is near Austin. Oh, this is This is nothing but hipster heaven here. All right. Well, head on over to Greenwich Apothecary dot com. That's good that they got that. See you next week.