You practiced for twenty five years in Santa Monica, the mecca of pretentious, all organic vegan assholes. I can't imagine what they must have been like, uh with their children.
I love my cinematical parents. I'm not going there. Look at me.
Pash Shaw.
Tosh shot Tosh Show Show.
Hello everyone, it's me Daniel Tosh and welcome to another episode of Toss Show.
I've been redeemed. I've been redeemed by the Blood of the Lamb.
By the blood of the Lamb.
I've been redeemed. I've been redeemed by the blood of the Lamb. You if you don't know this song, you're not going to go to heaven. I mean I want to go to heaven. Let's try it again.
No, I really want to go.
You get one chance for the Blood of the Lamb to redeem you. Alright. Hey, I'm not excited because I know what we're doing.
Feedback.
We're getting some feed back from the viewers.
Yeah, let's get into it.
Let's do it.
Grocery Store Joe's episode eat It Back of Dick's Tosh Toronto Rules.
I'll pass on your local cuisine a bag of Dicks. That's that's Toronto for you. What are you guys in the mood for today? Well, hopefully you got one of those piping hot bag of dicks for me.
Hello, mister Tosh, I'm a producer at Warner Brothers and I'm interested in buying the rights to this week's bedtime story. I think it will fit nicely into our revamp. DCEU, please get in touch if you were interested.
Not interested, I appreciate the offer, but you're a little late. Marvel has already locked my son up.
The Italian restaurant near my house is called Goomba's, but it's owned by Mexicans.
How's their pizzadillas? A bitther delicious?
Andy's episode? Honestly, I can't believe anybody pays the Sea comedians when there's so much music to see.
Okay, first of all, dip shit. You don't see music, you listen to it unless you're deaf. Then you feel it.
We got to look back and forth here from Andy's episode. I love the real numbers, and then there's a response he was pulling in really good money in nineteen ninety eight. I don't know what he thinks that proves four hundred dollars for like five days. Nominally ten hours of work, even if he was working eight hours a day is a lot of money for ninety eight.
Fuck you just just fuck you. You don't.
First of all, when I was reading my calendar from nineteen ninety eight, that wasn't the day I started comedy. I'd been doing comedy for five years. That was just happened to be a calendar that I had found and making five hundred dollars a week. Yeah, that's great if you're a person that has no real dreams. But I didn't live in whatever random city I was in in Ohio. I was commuting four hundred miles every day to some
random city to do a show. I'm I'm just just if you would have gotten my calendar, which doesn't exist from nineteen ninety five or ninety six, where every show I did was me just showing up to a comedy club begging to be put on for free and them saying no, and me driving home that night.
That was That was the career for years.
Then eventually I got to a point where I was making the four hundred and the five hundred dollars a week while traveling in a car back and forth across the country every other day.
See here, I'm still angry about that one. Well, let's get that one. That one really burns me. Let's move it on, moving on, I worked. I don't know what that proves.
Four hundred dollars back in ninety yeah, I remember back in nineteen ninety eight, when if you had four hundred dollars you were Everybody's like, look, how rich that guy is.
He's got four hundred dollars.
Well, I mean the people would be like, well, it's nineteen ninety eight, you got four hundred dollars.
Woo, all right, go on, what's the next one?
Chandler Parsons episode. Don't worry, Parsons, Memphis still hates you too.
You know what Chandler should do to make things right in Memphis. I don't know if you've heard, but Graceland has been in the news lately where it's potentially being.
Sold in foreclosure.
Chandler should swoop in right now for the city of Memphis and buy Graceland. Then he should demolish it everything except for the death toilet, leave the toilet there, then open up a Kansas City barbecue spot there. Because Kansas City Barbecue is so much better than Memphis Barbecue. And you go there, you get some cac barbecue, and then you get to sit on the throne. That's what That's what Chandler should do. I think they would all. I think everything would be forgiven at that point.
Actually, a lot of comments about you having celebrities on, a lot of people have been calling you out because you said you were never going to have celebrities on, and then you had Michelle Wee, Luke McFarlane, grocery store, Joe Chandler, Parsons.
Okay, that's enough. First of all, you can't believe the thing I say. I'm a huge liar. I also said I would never do a podcast, But here we are. Let me be clear. I feel like I have to say this again. I don't care what my fans want this show to be. If you think, and I'm sorry Chandler, you're about to catch some strays right now. If you think Chandler, a role player, a former role player in the NBA, is a celebrity, then you're right. We're never going to see eye to eye on anything. I mean,
no offense. He was never even an All Star. He was like a second team All rookie. I think it was the biggest honor that he got in the NBA. I could be wrong. He's gonna give me shit. But whatever what I said the show was, or I don't even know what I said, doesn't matter what I said.
Here's what the show is.
I'm going to interview people that I want to interview if I find them interesting.
That's why they're going to be sitting there.
What I didn't want to do was do a podcast like other comedians where they're just talking about stand up comedy back and forth to each other. And the thing about celebrities was that I didn't want to have a forced conversation with somebody that was only here to promote their new project. So that the guideline, I'll have Robert de Niro on the show if he wants to talk about having children in his seventies, Okay, that's interesting, but
I don't. I don't care about someone's movie that they're they're contractually obligated to plug.
That's That's where I'm drawing the line. You hear me? Is that is that crystal clear? Do we understand? Now? Can we stop with the dumb comment you were gonna have celebrities on, and then you had the helpful Honda guy on.
I'm sorry that you're such a fucking boring person that lives in some awful place where you think anybody that's been on TV for one second is now a celebrity.
God damn it.
I didn't want to get all worked up. Knock it off. We're gonna have whoever I want in that chair. And this week is no exception because it's brought to my attention that a lot of my fans have been getting abortions because they don't know where their baby should sleep. Well, I gotta fix that, So we're having another doctor on this show. Yeah, this podcast is borderline educational.
Enjoy Pasha, my guest today, believes that all babies should sleep in straight jackets, harnessed to a gyrating bed, blasting white noise.
Please welcome world renowned pediatrician, author and inventor of the snow doctor, Harvey Karp.
How's that for an intro? I think that was moombastic, fantastic, fantastic. I meant to say fantastic. Yeah, it was a little bit of that first question, Yes, do you believe in ghost Do I believe in ghosts? You know I believe in higher powers though, all right, but you don't believe in ghosts.
No.
Well, by the way, you went to Albert Einstein College of Medicine. That's made up right? Where is that?
I don't even know where it college is. It's in the Bronx, is it? Okay? You unable to get into the halls of medicine. It's you know, as it turns out, it is.
Here's what I tell you that half my questions are just dumb.
Okay, No, but listen, here's the thing. There's there's science and there's humanity, and medicine really weaves those two together. And what's great about Einstein is that it really pays attention to the humanity. Did you excel in school? I was good. I mean I was like, you're not gonna be honest now. It wasn't like the smartest in the class. I mean I did graduate early. Like I was a sixteen year old when I graduated high school. Okay, see
already that's it. I mean, although, but very immature. Uh huh.
You practiced for twenty five years in Santa Monica, the mecca of pretentious all organic vegan assholes whose bodies are sacred temples. I can't imagine what they must have been like with their children.
I love my cinematical parents. I'm not going there killed they're the Do you know that? Now they have acupuncturists and chiropractors in Omaha, Nebraska and Vegan, you know, guides and things like that. This is all across the country.
Now, I'm fine with all. I'm fine with Vegan. I'm fine with There's just something another.
Level, you know, one of the things. But this is one of the things that parents are raising children. Sometimes they never even touched a child in their lives. You know, smart people, they're educated. Maybe we're the most educated people in history, but in many ways parents are the least
experienced in taking care of kids. So people are going on the internet and just trying to learn as best they can, and they're you know, they're influenced by different people, and so sometimes these these you know, kind of overly concerned approach about children comes from you know, people just not having experience. Now you're a huge anti vaxxer, right, No, I don't give I give vaccines to all anties. Is that what you mean?
I don't hesitate if they tell me the kid needs it on Mike Stickham, let's go.
Yeah, we don't, there's no debate. Listen, Listen. I'm old enough that I've seen the effects of children who didn't get vaccinated. Now we have vaccines against diseases, even chicken pox. I've seen kids who lost their legs because they got severe infections after chicken pox, children who have had brain dissolving because they got measles. These are things that are completely preventable now. And we live in Listen. If you live on a farm by yourself and your neighbors never
come over, you can do whatever you want. But when you're living in a culture where you're exposed to other people, you have a responsibility. It's not just me, me, me, it is us. We've got to protect each other. In your opinion, do you single handedly bring back us swaddling? Yeah, I would say so.
By the way, are you flattered in any way because all of us use our phones when we have a child, and like, what does this mean? And we do our own research, but that so many times the answer to the question is quoted from you. Is that a flattering to you?
I didn't know that.
I mean, it is like the amount of baby searches that you do where you're the answer that everyone agrees is that ridiculous.
I mean, it's so odd. Here's the ridiculous thing. We've been around babies for thousands of years. How could anyone figure out something new about babies. You know, you can downplay that all you want, but that's impressive. The world is googling things.
You're the answer That'll bring me back real quickly to a thing that you once said about why you kind of chose to focus on babies was because focusing on older people, cancer and all of that stuff at the end of life is I mean, I'm paraphrase a little more depressing.
Then the kids get better. For the most part. That's very much my experience. And the other part of it is that it's very hard to be a doctor and be respectful to older people. And what I mean by that is that when you, as a doctor take a history, you're asking, you know, tell me about this pain, tell me about your life, tell me about your work. You
have to really learn a lot about people. If you're really going to be a good doctor, you have to understand their life, not just my toe hurts, and you're focusing on that and I found that it was really hard because when you have another patient and then another one and they're stacking up and you got to see them. You can't really listen to people. You just don't have the time, and so that was really hard. And babies, they just don't. They have nothing to say. Just shocking through.
The cutest race of babies. Oh my gosh. You know what, it's really the mix. That's not just taking a political answer, but you see children who are you know, Anglo and Asian.
Or you're talking about mixing races. That creates the beauty it does. Sometimes at Backfars, I've seen a few mixed race babies. I'm like, Eh, that one didn't work, and I feel bad for the parents.
Well, you know nothing, two hundred percent. But the fact of the matter is that the melting pod is really it's really a great thing because you're kind of you mush all the things together and more you'll get the things you like than things you don't like.
Babies in general, as a parent, you look at your child and you're like, oh my god, it's so beautiful. And then time goes by and you look back and you go, oh my goodness, what a what a monster that came out of us.
It was. It was usually people says, that's the opposite thing. I mean, yeah, sometimes the nose is smushed and the head is big or whatever. But you know, there are studies that showed that we're attracted to beings that have the big forehead and big eyes and a small chin. Huh. There's a cuteness factor that makes you go, oh, that's adorable. We're set up biologically to see babies as being cute, and seeing baby animals as being cute because of their
big eyes and big foreheads and things like. Do animals do this as well?
Do you have any idea do animals look at other animals in their same species and go, oh, you're an attractive animal versus an ugly animal. I always want to because the reality is humans all look alike. It's so funny how such subtle things make one person beautiful and another person ugly, because you're never supposed to say, oh, all blank look alike. That's a you know, certainly a race of people that's not considered a very.
Well, but that's not right. I mean, maybe it is if you don't know how to look at somebody, I mean, if you look at the specifics of a face, or you look at the goshalt and oh the face is white and the nose is big or small, and he looks like those people you know. But I think when you get to know a race and you understand the subtleties of it, like can you tell the difference between
someone who's Korean or Japanese? Absolutely not, yeah, so I mean, but but someone who's Korean Ken, right, so I mean.
Question is like, do you think pelicans are going look at that fucking ugly Pelican. I'm sure they are, is what I'm But to me, all pelicans look alike.
And I bet if you I bet if you ask everybody in your audience, they would pretty much agree with you. My audience is, for the most part, idiots.
I find it fascinating that you're here because really the reason that you came into our lives, are on our radar was because your wife backed in to my producer's car over there.
Is that true? That is true, But it was an accident. There was an accident. She wasn't trying to get me on the show. As much as we were excited when we heard about it.
That is so funny to me. I was like, w how do you know this guy? And he's like I was just like I was confusing. He goes, nah, his wife bumped into my car and we just started talking and I was like, oh my goodness, how's your wife doing?
She actually just twisted. We were five hours in the hospital a couple of days ago because she twisted her ankle hiking. But thank you for us five hours. Yeah, I wasted an angle. You don't have any poll at a hospital, are you kidding me? It would have been fifteen hours. It was five hours. Was really great. But now you're making me feel bad like I'm insignificant.
Well, I feel like you could have opened something. I mean, my mom was a nurse for sixty years. If I ever needed stitches, boy, she just marched me right in m It was always I always felt so cool.
When I was going with my mom. Uh huh. Yeah. And let me tell you another thing.
A lot of people might be like they always asking, oh, why are you having this person? I want you to know the reason that you're on is because I find you fascinating. You invent this new and for those that don't know's it's a very high end bassinette. It vibrates, it shakes, it has white noise. Basically helps your child sleep in a safe manner.
Correct. Okay, And it's it's pricey and blah blah blah.
There's always correct incorrect. Well, there's at some point you can get it secondhand.
There's a work rented for five dollars a day. I mean it's cheaper than a five dollars Starbucks. Yeah, five dollars a day. I don't drink star Eggs, okay, blue bottle. I don't drink coffee. Okay. Do you know why I don't drink coffee? No, I was.
Most people drink coffee because they need to be awake, you know, And I do when I'm sleepy, I take a nap and.
To get energized. What do you need to do?
No, just open your eyes? Well sure, I'm okay. I've just never people.
Drink coffee for the taste too. But here's the thing. It doesn't matter that when you when you have a baby and you're exhausted a lot of people are buying coffee because they got to keep their eyes open, they got to go to work. They don't want to get in a car accident, understood, And that's why.
I know that I was extremely fortunate because I had children that slept and I was in a position where I could make work work around my schedule. And what I did when my baby slept, I slept like that was just what I did.
It's great if you can do that. But here's the thing. S New isn't just about sleeping more. SNeW is about keeping a baby safe because prevents them rolling over to the only bed that's got this FDA authorization that keeps them on the back. You know how many kids, just healthy kids die in the United four thirty four hundred so close? I mean, yeah, yeah, I mean, who's what's six hundred babies? Especially if they look like Pelicans are. So you're a Pelican baby, I'm gonna being loved. So
here's here's the thing. It's it's really one of these tragedies in raising children in the United States. That's a number in the United States. It'll be as has any baby died in US New Yes? Oh, how many? There are five that we know of?
Okay, so that how many people have died in Tesla? Yeah, just out of curious No, But here's the thing.
I mean, it's dramatically less than one would expect in a regular bed. So the point being that, and we're not claiming that we prevent SIDS, we don't have the privilege of doing that yet from the FDA. But we do claim that we keep babies on the back, which everybody knows is the number one way to keep baby safe. Did you know that my grandfather died of SIDS? No, the oldest case your grandfather. Oh my gosh. Can I get into why I don't have a snow? Yeah?
So I had my first child five years ago and a coworker mine had a snow and brought it to work for me, was going to give it to me for free. His child had grown past that age. And then the show runner on that show, Charlie, he shamed me. He was like he's like, oh, you don't want to hold your baby, blah blah blah, Like why don't you just embrace it? So then I was like, all right, I'm not above doing it the hard way or whatever. So you know, and then we had our child and
sure enough, kid was a sleeper. Didn't really have much issue. If there was ever a scenario where it was like we need to try something different, I would have waited two seconds, and I would have purchased it.
At full cost rented it. I wouldn't have even rented it. But did you have help? Did you have help in the house? No, No, just you guys. Yeah, huh. But you got to be able to be home during the day and whatnot. You don't have to go out to work. I did.
I would work with it, but I wasn't. Yes, my schedule was very accommodating. So there a couple of different things that we're trying to do with SNOW. One is to help babies sleep longer.
We've proven that we've measured six hundred million hours of sleep, and we showed that babies automatically sleep an extra hour. But here's a curious thing. By three months of age, a normal three month old will give you a five hour stretch of unbroken sleep. That's pretty pretty good, pretty much average for a three month old. In SNOW, it's six and a half almost seven hours of unbroken sleep. In other words, we're maturing the brain two to three
months earlier than we ever thought was possible. And what we're studying now is, well, if you can mature the brain to sleep longer, are there other ways that you can mature the brain as well. So I want to give you an example of that. Garoo care. We're off of Pelicans now and kangaroo care. Have you ever heard of that? Oh, I don't know.
I'm guessing it has to do with the mother holding them in the pouch. Yeah, exactly right. But instead of a pouch, we kind of bind them against the chest. And we do this with little premature babies, like a one pound baby, and you put them on the mother so she the baby feels the breathing and smells the mother and feels the movement.
Of the day, is kept warm. And what has been done now is that we've been doing that for thirty years and we measure the brain development of children fifteen years later. And what do we see. We see that premature babies have difficulties with some of their brain development. The earlier you are, you know, the more challenges you're going to have. Kangaroo care improves that and almost all the way to being a regular, normal term baby. And
so what does that mean. It means that holding and rocking and closeness, those are things that are nurturing for a baby's brain. It's not just milk. You want to give them closeness and so all day long. And I bet you did that, right, did you hold your baby and carry your baby and give that type of skin to skin? But you do that for twelve fins of skin feels a little awkward. I'll be honest with you. You're always like, am I really doing this? Am I
taking off my shirt? So? But anyway, anyway, it's a super cool thing to do. But anyway, here's the point. The point is that if you feed a baby but you never hold them and carry them, their brains are not going to develop ugly. If you do it one hour day, that's better. Two hours better than one. Four hours is better than two. So what do we do twelve hours at night? We have babies in kind of
sensory deprivation. They're kind of in dark, still silence. If you ask a thousand babies, you know you want to be twelve hours by yourself in the dark, or held and rocked and shushed.
Right, But that's the argument that I mean, listen, there's a lot of third world countries where everyone sleeps with their baby, and that would give you what you're asking for, But then you have the problem of rolling over and killing them.
That's right, that's right. You So, how can you give the baby the nurturing that they're going to do the best with but keep them safe as well. Because we start it's new. Originally was not even about sleep. It was about how do we keep babies safe flow in the back. Unfortunately, I've had the experience of working with families who've lost their babies. You never recover, You just never recover. It is such a horrible, horrible experience. So
we're really super excited about keeping babies safer. Yet we want to improve sleep at night, but also improve it during the day because during the day, when you're cooking dinner or taking a shower, most people don't have help in the house. But it used to be that everyone had five nannies, right when you had your grandmother and your aunt and your older sister live in next door. I know, but I don't like that either. I well, here's whenever, like my wife.
We'll have the discussion and we're she'll bring up some other country where you know, when a mother has a baby in this country for six years, the whole village just rubs her feet. I'm like, okay, there's some trade offs to our country. We're not all awful.
We got some We have some great things here that they don't have there. So yeah, of course, of course, But I mean you're we have doctors like you. But you want to do it the tough. You want to you know, trial by fire. You want to show that you earned your stripes, and you want I did it the hard way, and I can tell everybody else. So what the guy who goes later on and says you shouldn't be do you be just like the shower you
shouldn't be doing that. I won't be like Charlie. Charlotte'm not gonna be like.
I encourage people to get it, and I'm all for help and family and community raising the kid.
I don't.
I don't love a lot of people in my house. That's my big objection to Nanni's and that thing. Now, where are you at snow or a night nurse?
It's not an either or. You can use a night nurse and a snow because the night well then what's that night nurse doing? Changing diapers, feeding, kind of bringing the baby to you to nurse? I mean, I'm not advocating it, mind you, but it's good to have help. Listen, do you know what postpartum depression is, of course, Okay, do you know how many women get postpartum depressions?
Well, thirty percent is my guests, not a bad guess.
So about twenty percent in the general population get depression, end or anxiety, But in the higher risk populations, inner city folks, single parents, things like that, it's more like thirty percent. So you're on target there, thirty percent, twenty to thirty percent of all normal mothers get clinical depression. That's like ridiculous.
Now what percentage of that do you associate to them not getting a proper night sleep?
A lot of it. So here's here's a bunch of things that lead to postpartum depression. Exhaustion, crying babies that you can't come fear that in the middle of the night, your baby's going to roll to danger, and so you're looking and looking and checking your baby, feeling like there's nobody there to help you, and feeling kind of incompetent, like nobody told me how hard this was going to be. I had no idea. I wasn't ready for this. I'm just saying, yeah, I know, that's not ready for it.
We all know it's hard. We all know it's hard, but you know something, they use crying babies and and exhaustion to train navy seals to injure torture, So it isn't just like mildly hard. If you're going after night with sleep deprivation, it becomes like torture. My point is that we developed snow to take care of all of
those five things that lead to postpartum depression. So our goal, besides helping the babies and keeping them healthy and keeping them safe and helping to nurture their brains and preventing them from rolling to their death, is how can we support mothers and fathers to be healthy, to kind of be feeling successful instead of overwhelmed, and be able to go to their job every day so they can earn a living and pay for their family.
You believe in the fourth trimester, yes, I do. What about abortions during the fourth trimester? No, that was just sorry about that. You believe in fourth trimester?
That?
What is? That's just but you know, a horse can run the first day of life. They have to be able to run to survive. If they don't can't run, they're gonna get eaten or something. A baby horse they eat horses if you don't if they don't run, yes, of course serious.
The wolves, the coyotes, time on the wild. Yeah, I just start you're talking about like that.
Random. I guess it's a long time. That's why you went there. But you know, the babies are very helpless when they're born. They can't even smile yet, they can't even follow you across the room. So they're the only reason we have to kick them out is because their heads are so big, and so we got it. We have to deliver them into their fourth try and take care of them as if it's a fourth trimester of
care inside. That's the concept. But it helps people to know because it used to People used to say, don't go to the baby when they're crying. You're going to spoil them. You're going to make them feel like, you know, like they're going to get everything they want just because they cry. And actually what you're doing in the beginning, but going to them and holding them and responding to them quickly, is you're building a sense of trust and confidence that they're going to then carry with them the
rest of their lives. We call this attachment. So it's super important to give to them to meet their needs as much as you can. You can't do everything, but as much as you can in those first six months of life, and later on you're going to teach them well, just because you cried doesn't mean you're going to get
what you want. You know, you can't have the scissors period of end of story, you know, and you're going to teach limits at that point, but you don't need to worry about that in the first six months.
The elephant in the room that people will always bring up when looking into your work is that you, uh never had children. Uh yet you're the expert on all babies. Although you do have a daughter, a step stepdaughter. She works for you down to she does. Yeah, she's our head of marketing. Do you ever you ever? Do you ever swaddle her as an adult? Just to be funny, do people people ever say, oh my god, how how would you relate to them?
And that's obviously ignorant people say that. I mean, it's like going to a gynecologist who's a man and saying, can you be a gynocologist? He's been on my show? Really my wife's obi? Seriously? Yeah? Yeah yeah? Would you love to have your brain? Uh?
Like you know I live forever, forget that nonsense. But but wouldn't you love to have your brain downloaded and then turned back on a couple hundred years from to see how right or wrong you were about things, Because there's no way we're going to be doing things the exact same way that we do now with babies.
But yeah, that's curious, Yeah, of course, of course, like a time machine. Well because like it's like, oh, babies sleep on their stomach. Now it's like, oh my god, make sure they're on you know, a coffee table. There's just a study that just came out with that, and well that says they can sleep on a softer bed. No, it said that what we did by putting them on the back actually messed up with their sleep. It keeps them safer, it's definitely the only safe position. But babies
don't like to sleep on the back. They win themselves up. You know, my second one, oh my goodness, about three maybe four months.
I'll lie if this is inappropriate. But once she once she went over to her stomach and started, I was like done, Yeah, I'm letting her.
But here's the thing, and we you know, I'm old enough that I used to only recommend sleeping on the stomach because we thought if you were on the back, you would vomit and choke and run that cross desks. It turned out we were one hundred and eighty degrees wrong. Babies don't and choke on their back, so that is safe from that point of view. But they don't like being on the back like your daughter. But here's the thing, they are safer on the back, and so why even
be forced into that chance? Why not allow a child to sleep well, but sleep safely? And that's really what's new is trying to do. I mean, it's weird.
It's weird the compromises you'll make with yourself for an extra thirty minutes of sleep.
That's the torture thing.
If my kids are good sleepers, Do I get any credit for it as a parent or no, Yeah, you did a fantastic job.
I didn't know.
Well, I didn't know because I didn't know if it was one of these things where you're not supposed to take pride over that because you know, just because your kid's a bad sleeper doesn't mean you're a bad parent.
No, But you know, it's like the first question they ask you right when the kid's born, they say boy or girl? You know, But once you're home, they say, how is your kids sleeping? Wink wink, nudge nudge, Like you knows enough.
That's why I'm saying it like, well no, but they always say it like is your kids sleeping?
And then people say always sleeping?
Great, and you try to wear that as a badge of honor, but I didn't think that it was actually a badge of honor.
Yeah, take it, take it whenever you can write, well, then I'm amazing.
How much is this new seventeen hundred brand new? If no rebate, no nothing, I want to I want off the shelf. That's about what it is. Seven okay, yeah, so you use it for six months?
Six months is how long? Yeah? Yeah? So that's like nine dollars a day. So would you pay nine dollars a day for an hour or two more sleep? And I know you would. Wait, I wouldn't want it at all.
I'll buy one of those fancy mattresses that was with the plaid what are they one hundred thousand dollars?
What are they called Hastens or whatever? You know? In Beverly Hills they have a store the horse hair one. Yes, the horse. You have a horse hair mattress. I don't have one. No. I I sleep on a on a just on a table like this.
No, you don't you like a firm bed. I do like a firm Do you have it elevated slightly? I have ranchisers? No little acid reflex. I guess did you ever own a water bed in your life?
Yeah? I did?
You did?
Yeah?
Yeah? The worst night sleep ever? Hated? Yeah, exactly. See, He's like I had to take dramming. Mean every night. How many hours a night are you sleeping? Six? Seven? You know, when you're older, it's less need it as much. Yeah, I'm way more. What time do you go to beds? Eleven twelve? Do you nap sometimes? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, I love a nap. Yeah yeah, nap is good. I nap almost every day. Do you almost every day? That's good.
My favorite thing is when I read an article where it tells you, like, oh, the healthiest thing you can do is get lots of sleep, And.
I'm like, oh, that's right, doctor's orders. My wife and I sleep, and our kids sleep.
It's you know, people always like, oh, you should have the same religion or you have to have a lot in common. I don't know if we have a lot in common, but we both love sleeping and that that has had us proved to made a good marriage.
Call it.
It's a broad term for prolonged crying or fussiness. Can wives have collic.
It depends on their husband's.
Because there's just sometimes I just don't understand how she can be so loud for so long.
Well, so the word colic comes from the same word as colon, meaning you know, intestine, right, And so for thousands of years people have said, well, colic, the babies just cry, they get red in the face, they grunt and say, go, I think it's their stomach is bothering them. But here's the way that you know it isn't that.
It's that when when the baby is really fussy, and sometimes we say driving around in the car and they fall asleep in the car, Well, car is not going to make pain go away, you know, or bouncing on a yoga bawl things like that. So it turns out, for the most part, colic is a child who is like really sensitive and they don't have enough calming rhythms. I mean, like if you hold and rock your child all day long, they're much less fussy, so you kind of pay it in before they get fussy in the evening.
You're retired. Are you're not practicing doctor? No, I'm not seeing patients, right, But you still you run this new empire, run this new business. Yeah. So the happiest baby is our is our business.
Whenever you say this new you always say we that seems nice, but are you really the the single person that invented it.
I had the idea, but you know, to turn an idea, it's like my wife's uncle is an incredibly successful CEO pharmaceutical guy, and he said, give me a great idea. I'll give you a dollar, make it work. I'll give you a million. You know, having the idea is one thing, but you need engineers. And this was actually difficult. This was very difficult. It doesn't imagine. And my wife, God bless her, is like there'd be no company without her. She does so she found our factories, raised our money,
hired our executive team. You know, she has been just incredible. So it really is a team. And my daughter actually, like somebody that doesn't have a prina, she has trust. She has trust.
But when it comes down to it, you're the one that would make the final decision if this company were to be sold. Weren't you offered one hundred million or something crazy and you said no, thank you.
Yeah, we were in the very beginning because we didn't want a company to screw it up. I love everything about you. Would you ever read reviews of your product on like yelp? Yeah? Sure? Do you? Do you ever write to them? No? Okay, no it's not there's no there's only only pain and suffering and trying to get into those dialogs. Listen, here's what my mother told me. She said, if there's no controversy, you haven't introduced anything new, So don't worry about controversy. And so people you know
and listen, not no one, no one. Product works for everybody. But this works like ninety eight percent. The only real controversy with you is is that I've seen is that you're, oh, you would be attached to a lot of celebrities. At the beginning, people said that that wasn't uh whatever, and then it wasn't obtainable for everybody. Now you've you've over you've said five dollars a day or something that. But yeah,
our goal is everyone gets it for free. I mean the thousands of people get a free snoop from their employer. So anyone who's listening can what employers are JP, Morgan, Chase, under Armor, Snapped, Underdone. It's I'm not going to work for under armored just for a snooz. How about Sonic Burgers, which which is with that National Air Traffic Controllers Union, which Sonic Burgers gives free snooze? Yeah, it's pretty nice.
Yeah.
Yeah. So anyway, the point being that our goal is everyone's going to get it for free, so insurance will cover it. Now we're starting to work with medicaid programs so that the most at risk populations can get this because the goal, Like I said, I'm seventy two. I'm not I mean the only I'm not a startup guy. I'm not a roboticist. I'm not a techie guy. I'm here. My wife and I really started this, and this is
this is just the way it is. You know, we started this because it was a serious problem and it wasn't getting better year after year in the last twenty years. You know how many babies have died of SIDS. It's the same number of American babies as American soldiers who died in Vietnam. I mean, it's just absolute travesty, and so that's why we started this because we thought we
could make a difference. So now the goal is to get everybody to get it for free, and we're working hard to do that and it'll be paid for by you know, the insurance folks.
I heard Beyonce about thirty six of them is true?
No comment, right, why did you name it snow? When we tested it out, people smiled when they said the word snooze, So that's kind of a positive thing. We have the five says. We wanted this to be one of the says. Do you know about the five s's? Also, I just want to know about the five K sarcasm? Do you do that? That always works with my child? Yes? Personality sneezing. You should never sneeze in a baby's face.
That's a bad idea. The five that's of course, that's one. Swaddle what's this swinging?
Swinging? Okay, sucking and the side stomach position.
Sarcasm isn't one of them though, interesting, So everyone knows you hold a baby, rock them, it's going to work. But why does it work?
Why did you ever fall asleep, like on a long haul airplane flight or in a car. Yeah, so all adults do that. They like to rock and hammocks. We like the sound of the wind and love a hammock. You don't, okay, well rocking on the ocean? Do you like that feel? You're done? In a boat? But boats? No, not that either? No, okay, I don't nap, but see
often on a cruise, yeah, yeah, I like cruise. No, no, I've been personal cruise the right way, the right you've been on some oligarchs they always want a doctor on board. They rush. Oligarchs have asked you to to be their primary care physician. I cannot give you. You know, the cool thing about one of the things that I really enjoy about the five S is actually, you know, what is the reason that the five s's work. Well, it imitates the uterus? But why does the imitating the uterus work?
And this was actually the kind of thing that I really discovered. This was the Aha moment, which is that babies are born with lots of reflexes. That's that's a built in software so that they survived. Like, you don't teach a baby to suck or to swallow, they know how to do that all on their own. You don't teach them how to cry. But it turns out they're born with an off switch for crying, and the that
off switch is activated by imitating the womb. And the reason that that's so important, the entire survival of the species is dependent upon babies having that off switch, because if they're swimming around too much before they're born, they'll get stuck in a sideways position or in a breach position where their head is up and their feet down, and then they get stuck coming out and they die
and they kill their mothers. So all of us are descendants of these zen little babies who are kind of put into a trance by the rhythms and the sound of the womb. The whole reason that you have mantras or that people like to rock. You know how you see people with their legs going back and forth when they're nervous and kind of.
Generating, and they shake the table and they shake the table infuriating.
I know it's annoying, but it's soothing for them. And all of that is really related to this very ancient part of our biology. There's the book The Happiest Baby on the Block, which I kind of don't recommend people read because there's a video. I mean, it's a great book and it's got interesting stuff, but to really learn the five essays, you got to watch it. And so they're the video we have that teaches that. It's kind
of like learning how to tie your shoelaces. You know you're going to learn it better by watching somebody than by reading on a book about it. Just how hard is it to learn? And then snugly and huggy and so so here's the here's the kind of nuance to it, right, it's on the side, roll towards the stomach, not roll towards the back. So people oftentimes mess that up or
they have to squaddle arms tight but legs loose. And the shushing how loud you do the shushing people all the time or you know, like what you just said, the that's not the way it is for babies. You get because inside the wound before babies are born, which is what you're imitating, it's louder than a vacuum cut.
Do you know it's been measured? It's science, got it. I didn't know they could measure. I didn't know they could measure it. Yeah, I didn't know they could measure it. You got Okay, No, listen, I go as loud as I need to break her or him out of whatever they're in.
Yeah, but people when they do that, they go I feel bad, like I'm saying shut up or something like that. But you have to. You're exactly right. You go to the level of their crime and then you kind of bring them down for a soft landing. All right. See, I don't have to read it or yeah, you're a natural. You're natural.
I give everybody that's on my show a gift, but I have to grab it over here.
It's not a real gift.
It's it's just something from my house that I don't want anymore, and then they have to take it.
Do you like massages? No, okay, it's farra gun.
Well I figured if it's it's like a massage, but it's a machine that does it for you, much like this new is a person rocking you. You can just have this. I never like this. Somebody got me this, and I'm like, I'm not using this. I like a real massage. You give yourself a happy.
Ending with this. You're gonna get hurt, So here you can take my massage gun. Thank you so much. That's incredibly generous. Wait, you know what, I have more things for you. I forgot I have.
This is if you ever use like a face mist before you go to bed. It's supposed to help you sleep, like a sprint, a lavender or something. I don't, yes, exactly. I don't like the smell of this one, so I'm going to give that to you. And this is just some essential oils called unwined. It's going to help you sleep more.
Huh. And you hate this one too, I don't like that do so much. I'm going to get this off my table. I don't.
You wrote happiest baby on the Block, every happiest toddler on the block, any plans on publishing happiest slash sometimes depressed slash most awkward teenager on the block.
You know something that is the toddler book. Teenagers and toddlers have a lot in common. Toddler starts at one and goes till when tyler starts at eight months, eight months and goes up to you know, seventies, eighties. I mean, listen, everyone becomes a toddler when they get upset enough, right, they throw a fit and they're not reasonable and they
can't hear what you're saying. Toddlers are between being an infant and being a kid, and they want to you know, they want to do things that they can't quite do yet. But then they fall and they cry like little babies. They're going back and forth teenagers. I want to be a kid and I want to be an adult. You know, I want to clean up my room? Can I have the car keys? You know. It is really trying to find their way to make the jump into into adulthood. So a lot of the way you communicate actually is
very very similar. Have you checked out happiest toddler on the block now? So you don't like any of my work? Basically, you're just that's not avoiding me.
No, I like, here's I married someone that is so smart that.
You're just delegated. You're outsurfing. I delegated it and I went surfing. You're not wrong, It's what it's like. I have so much confidence in now now here. I have tons of experience with babies. I have a large family, they all had children early. I've always been around me. I was babysitting was my key source of income. From like eleven years on. I've just always been very comfortable around kids. Well and not to.
You know, brag that my kids are better than all of their friends, but like they are the we have a large group of friends in our in our neighborhood.
My kids are the only ones.
That get jokes and when somebody is serious and not serious, like they can just tell if I tell another kid like, they'll just be like, they'll shriek. My kid knows that's not that's not real.
Yeah. Yeah, because you've taught them that over and over and over again. Right, that's the list you got to teach them. You got to teach them how to get jokes, all that stuff, and also not to take you know that, I like little kids love to negotiate with you and learn how to negotiate so that Oh no, that's too hard. You're asking too much for me. I can't. Oh, okay,
you drove a hard bargain. Okay, I will give you one cheerio if you brush your teeth, you know, and you make it make them feel like they're winning out through this negotiation, so you don't want to take it so so seriously that everything is earnest and heavy my kid's not gonna do shit for one cheerio, all right, okay, Dan too, two cheerious You.
And I at least honey nut cheerios, or he's not even getting out of bed.
If you wanted to see the future, read The Happiest Toddler, because you will understand ways to communicate with kids that that people who like preschool teachers and pediatricians who do this as a profession, are able to do to get
kids to cooperate and stuff like that. Like in my practice, I had a reputation in Santa Monica for being the doctor that if your kid hated doctors and was scared of doctors, that I would help them get over that, because it's all about how you communicate and approach them. And I bet as a comedian you already have a lot of skills that you're use in because you don't take it all so seriously and so earnestly, which is
half of the problem. Right. People are just so incredibly you know, oh I don't want to hurt their feelings, or oh I can't make them do this or that, and you don't take the responsibility of being a parent, and so part of what I talk about in the book is how do you set limits and how do you, you know, do the tough things that you have to do as a parent because you're not their friend, you're their parent also their friend.
Maternity leave it's bad in this country. Well, paternity leave. Also, how long should people get off from work to focus on their newborn baby?
A year is a good amount of time. Yeah, I mean, here's an interesting thing that's going on. Everyone knows about the climate crisis, you know, fad things are happening there. Not a lot of people know about the population cliff, which means that there aren't enough babies being born. I know you've advocated having fewer babies being born, but.
Have I Yeah, yeah, I'm sure it made a joke about it. But that's why I meant children. John over here keeps spitting out kids every week.
So here's the thing. In a lot of countries, the population is dropped. In the United States has dropped twenty percent over the last decade, but in some places like Korea, Japan, Italy, even China, now it's plummeting. And what that means is twenty or thirty years from now, you're not going to have people to pick up the garbage, to do all the jobs, to pay the taxes. It's all going to be a bunch of old people and nobody'd take care of them. Twenty thirty years ago we worried about overpopulation.
It has shifted like a one eighty and now it's a very serious international problem.
Are you saying, though, that there's gonna be more land, affordable land available for my kid's future.
That's that's not all bad. No, it isn't. So there's a there's there's a silver lining for the tashas everybody else is screwed.
Ah ohash oh, they finally catch a break.
Doctor Carp, thank you very much for being here today. I appreciate it. It's so good to meet you. Daniel still got.
A baby sleeping, Pasha.
I want to thank doctor Carp. Good stuff.
I learned a lot, but it doesn't matter now because my kids are past the age now if I have a third child, shoot me.
There's a good guest. Carl, Why you're sitting over here?
You want to tell everybody, I cause your birthday's coming up. His birthdays this week. Carl's gonna be three years old. Send us some stuff. You know the problem with our podcast is now it's reached.
Like my outer circle.
I got an inner circle, right, which is just the people I see constantly friends, event then there's this outer circle of people I know, and then they kind of keep coming up to me the other day, Like a guy goes, oh my goodness, you know so and so, and I'm like, yeah, yeah, I know. He goes, you got to have him on your podcast. He's not a celebrity's he'd be perfect And I just like looked at him like, oh no, I don't think he would. I don't find him interesting at all. Or I get this.
I get this a lot now, Eddie people, I could never be a guest on your podcast. I could never do it. And I'm like, yeah, no, shit, I would never ask you what's going on? We've got some tour dates. Make sure he comes see me do stand up comedy. Carl will be there.
What else?
Uh, boyswearpink dot com If you want to get something cute for your little one?
What else Carl like a puppet? What else? What else? Buddy? What else?
Oh? That?
Goat? What episode are we on? Now? Don't know how many more are there? When are we?
Are we at the penultimate? Do you know what the penultimate means. It's the second to last. I always feel smart whenever I say pen ultimate.
Oh brother, well, got another bedtime story for my son. Uh.
I'll see you guys next week. Happy birthday, Carl, Give me one quick story before mom reads.
Go ahead, tie in a little so land. We give a treating anyway with a big revealed track society at he would be. He would only be a fleak either then they freaked the dress, or it will be flick flat so he could dry. And so one day he decided to be a push flatt so he dart suddle. He pushed it all the way, flew the plant so they would row high and tall. So but he decided that he would be a mile for it. One day he would then milk prints mail him to pretend mal
and he was saying usal male. The one decided to do milk, tell weed do too. But the only shiit he didn't know that there was a milk guy. He was milk and he turned the milt's any but the weded drinmed the moon and they walked and they walked away on the table. The milkman who did it different the humbled door. But the milkman, as he didn't know there was the little take. He sat and then he set down to the milk tea. He saw a way to get out or the milk take deep and wow.
Good story.