I didn't want to start the show like this, but I wrote an open letter to Aaron Rodgers. Actually it was a closed letter, but I don't have his address, so now it's just an open letter. Dear Aaron Rodgers, I'm sorry you weren't drafted earlier. Now, please calm the fuck down. You know, in the history of the world, the smartest person in the room has never announced that they are the smartest person in the room.
Just take a deep breath.
I used to like Aaron Rodgers, the Green Bay Packers' version. Then he became a Jet and you have to constantly tell everybody how smart you are, And fuck do I find it tiresome? I mean, I hate the Jets. Is that what this is about? Maybe I just hate the Jets. I've always hated the Jets the most in the AFC East.
You didn't hate the Patriots, was sure.
I hated Tom Brady. I hated that every championship they won was because they were the best at cheating that year. Now, Buffalo, they're obnoxious. But you lose four Super Bowls and I have a soft spot for you, you start turning a blind eye.
I hope for Buffalo. I hope the current Buffalo Bills.
I hope they do a thirty for thirty about that two and a half year period they had potential. Wouldn't that be a riveting thirty for thirty? Remember that two and a half years the Buffalo Bills had potential. You know why the tradition started by Bill's mafia jumping on tables? Do you know where that originally came from? Originally it was so they could die, because that how fucking horrible
living in Buffalo is. Anyway I want to get I want to get back on topic of my Aaron Rodgers rant here, the whole thing with him and Jimmy Kimmel over who's which one of them is a pedophile?
Or I don't know.
I don't know how it worked, but by the way, they're probably they're neither of them are pedophiles, or they're both pedophiles. I don't fucking knows. That's not that's not my concern. My kids will never play with either one of them unsupervised. But gun to your head, honestly, gun to your head, which one of them would you think
is a pedophile? Jimmy Kimmel, who you've you've seen on TV for thirty years, married, couple kids, and just seems like just a normal dude or the other guy who always gets engaged to celebrities and then right before they get married just mysteriously calls off the wedding at the last minute as a super Christian family that doesn't approve of his lifestyle and has no relationship with him whatsoever. Oh, and he has an extremely creepy mustache gun to your head.
Which one? Which one do you go? Ooh? If I had to pick one of these is a pedophile?
By the way, I don't know that Aaron Rodgers has a publicist, but do you think do you think his publicist was like, Hey, before you go on television accusing people of pedophiles, could you shave the mustache? Just please shave the mustache. It's that's my only thing, all right anyway. By the way, so he does this not apology, he you know whatever. He's still feuding with Jimmy because Jimmy made a joke at his expense, and you know, he
goes then he goes on this long covid rant. And by the way, he starts the covid rant in the most pretentious way possible. He's like, I know it's a novel concept. But I like to read.
Fuck you, fuck you.
Oh you like to read, and you've done all this research so you know everything.
You know who else likes to read?
Tons and tons of Catholic priests who have molested boys.
So maybe reading's not so great.
Maybe a little less time reading, more time scroll and Instagram and jerking off, and the world will be a better place. He's oh, by the way, went on his COVID rant. It he said he had lots of friends that were small business owners that lost everything due to the COVID shutdown.
Really you did, You had tons of friends that lost everything. I'd like to see that list.
Send me that list of all your friends that were small business owners that lost everything. Because my friends that were small businessor thrived during the shutdown because they just took all these government handouts. Now he did amazing. He also brought up Bobby Kennedy and that should immediately the conversation should end there. First time I met Bobby Kennedy, this is what he said to me. I introduced him to my wife. He goes, oh, Daniel, Daniel, I thought
you were gay. I'm like, okay, yeah, you should be president. Your Gadar's off. By the way, you made one pass in twenty twenty three, and it was incomplete and made over thirty seven million dollars. Why don't you just give all of your friends that lost everything one hundred grand I bet you they'd bounced right back. What do you think it would even affect them? This is one year in a very long, prolific career, just one year. Just say,
I'm gonna divvy up this thirty seven million. Since I only threw one pass this year and it was dropped, I'm gonna I'm gonna go ahead and help all my friends who lost everything.
You know what else did?
He then brought up surfers, which I was like, Oh, here we go. He talked about the pandemic and how you need vitamin D and blah blah blah, and how surfers were being arrested for surfing. Oh really, you know, and I did during the pandemic in California, surfed every day with my friends and none of us were arrested. So quit turning into the clickbait you fucking pretend you hate.
Oh so annoying.
By the way, I don't have a problem with him if he would just come out and be like, hey, this is what I think.
But it's when do you start saying.
Stuff like this is this is what happened, and Fauci is a murderer and he wants everyone dead. It's like, couldn't couldn't you be wrong? Like that's all I want. I just want him to be like, oh, I could be wrong, but this is what I believe. And by the way, could could I be wrong?
Yes?
Could my doctors be wrong, Yes, of course they could. I have no problem saying that. But but if there's a sword I'm gonna fall on, it's.
Going to be that.
Like, I'm not gonna be like, oh, my wife and my kids died. Oh my goodness, how did they die?
Well?
I listened to my award winning doctors from Beverly Hills instead of instead of the quarterback for the Jets, Zach Wilson, No fucking, not fucking Zach Wilson, the other one that reads, you know, the other guy that reads a bunch of books.
I listened.
I should have listened to him, and now instead my wife and kids are dead because I listened to doctors that told me this was the right thing to do.
Oh, I'm so mad at myself.
I don't even know why Aaron Rodgers is still employed by the Jets in the first place. The guy should have been canceled long ago for sending those dick pics to the staffers.
That's actually Brett. They're all the.
Same, They're all all the quarterbacks are the same. That was Brett fa Fuck the Jets, Fuck the Jets, Fuck the Jets, Fuck the Jets.