TOP SELF | Tips on Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships - podcast cover

TOP SELF | Tips on Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships

Shanenn Bryantwww.topself.com

Struggling with jealousy, insecurity, or self-doubt? You're not alone. Join Pattern Transformation Expert Shanenn Bryant as she combines humor, hard-won wisdom, and practical strategies to help you break free from the patterns keeping you stuck. From 2 AM social media stalking sessions to second-guessing yourself at work, each episode tackles the real struggles women face with jealousy, insecurity and confidence.

 

Shanenn draws from her experience and expertise in attachment theory to help women transform from overwhelming insecurity to unshakeable confidence in both relationships and career. Whether you're battling relationship jealousy or letting imposter syndrome hold you back in the workplace, you'll discover how to recognize your patterns, regulate your emotions, and transform your story.

Ready to stop letting insecurity and jealousy run your life? Subscribe now to start writing a new story - one that isn't controlled by old patterns or endless overthinking.

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Episodes

Is This What You Needed To Hear EP 118

In this powerful episode of Top Self , Shanenn Bryant delivers something your inner child may have never received: acknowledgment, validation, and the words you needed most. This episode is a gentle but honest space for anyone who grew up feeling unseen, unprotected, or responsible for everyone else’s emotions. Shanenn talks about how childhood trauma—whether loud or silent—gets stored in the body and shapes adult patterns. Through reflections on her own healing journey and a moving message writ...

Aug 05, 202524 min

This Childhood Shame Is Holding You Back EP 117

Schedule Your Free Discovery Call Today In this episode of Top Self , Shanenn gets deeply personal, sharing the origin of the podcast and a powerful realization about the hidden shame many people carry from their childhoods. If you’ve ever felt like you had to hide how you grew up—because of addiction, dysfunction, or chaos—this episode is a must-listen. She shares the moment she realized she wasn’t alone in her struggles with jealousy and insecurity, and how our pasts—when left unspoken—can qui...

Jul 22, 202525 min

When Safety Feels Scary EP 116

Book your FREE Discovery Call Ever started pulling away just when things got good? If calm, consistent love feels boring—or even threatening—you’re not broken. You’re human. In this episode, Shanenn explores why “safe” love can trigger your nervous system, especially if you grew up in chaos or experienced emotionally unpredictable relationships. You’ll learn: Why peace can feel like a red flag to a dysregulated nervous system The hidden link between chaos and connection Subtle ways we sabotage h...

Jul 01, 202519 min

Tapping Into Emotional Freedom W/ Amy Vincze EP 115

Book Your FREE Discovery Call With Shanenn Watch on my Youtube Channel here In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn welcomes tapping expert Amy Vincze to explore how tapping can help release jealousy, insecurity, and emotional triggers. With over 17 years of experience, Amy shares how she went from skeptic to certified coach—using tapping to navigate personal trauma, anxiety, and even breast cancer recovery. This isn’t just theory. Amy walks listeners through the science of tapping, the emotional p...

Jun 24, 202549 min

3 Stages of Jealousy Management EP 114

Book your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help. 🎧 In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down the 3 stages of jealousy that sabotage emotional security—and how to work through them. If you’ve ever felt stuck in spirals, constantly checking your partner’s phone, or craving reassurance just to get through the day—this episode is for you. Through her own experience and years of coaching clients through jealousy, Shanenn identifies 3 specific levels most people go through: High Alert, Dis...

Jun 10, 202535 min

A Nervous System Reset For Jealousy EP 113

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn unpacks one of the most misunderstood truths about jealousy: it doesn’t start in your mind—it starts in your body. If you’ve ever told yourself “I’m just going to think positive thoughts” or “I’ll be chill tonight”—only to spiral the moment your partner picks up their phone—then go ahead and hit play now. Shanenn introduces a nervous system-based approach to jealousy, built around her signature BAM Method : Body And Mind . You’ll learn how to stop shaming you...

May 27, 202534 min

Unhealthy Thought Patterns And How To Spot Them w/ Amy Kemp EP 112

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with thought habit strategist and author Amy Kemp to unpack one of the most damaging patterns women struggle with—tying our self-worth to performance. From subconscious thought loops to resentment signals, Amy shares the surprising truth behind why we feel exhausted, unseen, and over-obligated—and what we can do to reclaim our identity and energy. If you're spiraling in your own pool of thoughts, this episode will help you understand the thought hab...

May 20, 202534 min

5 Daily Gratitude Habits to Quiet Anxiety and Reclaim Joy w/ Dr. Peggy DeLong EP 111

In this episode of Top Self , Shanenn sits down with clinical psychologist and gratitude expert Dr. Peggy DeLong known as The Gratitude Psychologist to explore how gratitude can be a lifeline in life’s hardest seasons. Whether you’re navigating grief, anxiety, or emotional overwhelm, Peggy shares the science and soul behind why gratitude is most powerful on your worst days not your best . From the moment she found comfort in a cup of hazelnut coffee while sitting at her fiancé’s deathbed, to her...

May 13, 202531 min

Detach From These If You Want Love, Peace, And Clarity w/ Bob Rosen EP 110

In this episode of Top Self , Shanenn sits down with psychologist, leadership advisor, and author Bob Rosen to explore what it really means to let go—not of people, but of the stories, fears, and beliefs that silently run your life. Whether you’re obsessively checking your partner’s texts, chasing success but never feeling satisfied, or stuck in pain from your past, Bob’s message is clear: your attachments are stealing your peace. Together, they unpack how detaching from control, perfection, and...

Apr 22, 202532 min

Are You Guilty Of This Common Habit That Destroys Relationships w/ Jessica Higgins EP 109

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with relationship and communication expert Dr. Jessica Higgins to unpack one of the sneakiest relationship saboteurs: criticism. Whether you’re nitpicking over the garage door or bottling resentment until it explodes, criticism can quietly damage your emotional connection. Dr. Higgins breaks down why we criticize, how it's often tied to fear, insecurity, or control—and what to do instead. From revealing instead of blaming, to communicating needs wit...

Apr 15, 202546 min

You Can't Control Others But THIS Question Will Change Everything w/ Leah Lemberg 108

In this powerful episode of Top Self, host Shanenn Bryant sits down with Leah Lemberg, who shares her remarkable journey from growing up in an alcoholic home to becoming 16 years sober and helping others transform their lives. From IV drug use at 18 to finding sobriety and purpose, Leah's story offers hope and practical wisdom for anyone struggling with addiction, unhealthy patterns, or leadership challenges. Golden Nuggets: 💎 "How am I complicit in creating the conditions that I say I don't wa...

Apr 01, 202535 min

Uninstall Your Triggers w/ Dr. Greg Stewart EP 107

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with Dr. Greg Stewart, counselor, executive coach, and author to explore why insecurity might be the most valuable emotion we experience. Dr. Stewart shares his powerful framework for understanding emotional triggers and reveals how owning our insecurities can be the key to personal freedom. From his concept of "the house of your heart" to practical techniques like "embrace the digs," Dr. Stewart offers a refreshing perspective on emotional intellig...

Mar 18, 202535 min

Reframing Friction For Relationship Growth w/ Dr. Rachel Glik EP 106

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with Dr. Rachel Glik, a licensed professional counselor with over 30 years of experience as a couples and individual therapist. Dr. Glik shares insights from her new book "Soulful Marriage: Healing your Relationship with Responsibility, Growth, Priority, and Purpose," offering her thoughts on how to nurture lasting love and embrace conflict as an opportunity for growth. Golden Episode Nuggets: 💎 "The impact of our own personal growth work and turni...

Mar 04, 202530 min

The Jealousy Scale - From OK to No Way: A We're Not Fine & Top Self Collaboration EP 105

🤣 🤣 Get ready to laugh your way through relationship real talk! In this episode, we're joined by the hilarious duo from the "We're Not Fine" podcast - relationship therapist Dr. Talia Jackson and Doug Jensen - for an unfiltered discussion about those "Is this normal?" relationship questions. Shanenn, Talia, and Doug dive into: The great memorabilia debate: Is it okay to keep items from past relationships? The Instagram thirst trap dilemma: When does looking become liking? The workplace flirtin...

Feb 18, 202557 min

The Sneaky Way Your Past is Picking Your Partners w/ Dr. Christie Kederian EP 104

❤️ The Date Doctor is Here! In this episode of Top Self, we sit down with Dr. Christie Kederian, renowned relationship therapist, former eHarmony matchmaker, and author of the upcoming book "Ten Dates to Your Soulmate." Dr. K shares her expert insights on building healthy relationships, understanding family dynamics, and navigating the modern dating landscape with authenticity and purpose. Key Moments 🎯 [02:04] The unique perspective of a therapist-matchmaker and the importance of having expert...

Feb 13, 202540 min

Get Rid Of This Survival Skill EP 103

In this powerful episode, Shanenn opens up about childhood trauma and how it shapes our relationship behaviors through hypervigilance. Episode Highlights The development of hypervigilance as a childhood survival skill How childhood experiences with alcoholic parents can create heightened threat detection systems Why hypervigilance often gets mistaken for good intuition The physical and emotional toll of maintaining constant vigilance Key Insights 70% of children from alcoholic homes develop hype...

Feb 04, 202529 min

How To Be Happy w/ Tia Graham Ep 102

Wanna know the science behind being happier? Check out this week's episode with Tedx speaker and happiness expert Tia Graham. Tia Graham shares some powerful stuff about choosing happiness, managing triggers, and transforming childhood trauma. From practical happiness frameworks to deeply personal stories about motherhood and healing, this episode is jammed packed with valuable tools for anyone looking to increase their joy and emotional regulation. Episode Highlights: The SPIRE framework for we...

Jan 28, 202524 min

Who Can You Trust? Ep 101

Ever caught yourself having a meltdown or giving your partner the cold shoulder because you're feeling insecure? (Been there, done that!) In this follow-up to our conversation with Dr. Brittany McGeehan, we're going in hard on a game-changing truth: the only person who can't abandon you is yourself. Get ready for some fiery talk about self-trust, validation-seeking, and why your inner child needs a time-out from running your relationships. Key Takeaways Why are you testing your partner with "aba...

Jan 21, 202524 min

Stop Acting Like His Mother w/ Dr. Brittany McGeehan Ep: 100

This episode is fire! 🔥 In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn talks with Dr. Brittany McGeehan, who dropped a major truth bomb that made her stop everything: You’ll have to hit play to hear it. This may be the only thing you need to hear today! Dr. McGeehan, a licensed psychologist and performance coach specializing in empowering high-achieving female CEOs, shares the "Drama Triangle" and why we keep getting stuck in these relationship cycles. And you better believe Shanenn of course asked her h...

Jan 14, 202532 min

The Next Chapter EP 99

Shanenn understands how deeply our patterns are embedded in every corner of our existence. It turns out that relationship anxiety isn't just an isolated phenomenon – it's part of a larger tapestry of how we navigate life's complexities. What We're Diving Into: The revelation that your inner critic has apparently developed a rather impressive portfolio, showing up everywhere in your life from dating, to work, to relationships... all of it What Top Self is currently offering so you can make this y...

Jan 07, 202515 min

New Year, New Thoughts EP 98

What will you be thinking ONE YEAR from now? Will it be the same thoughts you're having today? Will you're focus be on the same things? In this episode, we explore how your life could look totally different one year from now and why your thoughts might be your biggest obstacle to change. Shanenn gives an example of what she calls "heavy thinking" or better known as a thought spiral and suggests you could try to do the opposite. What? Shanenn shares: How your thoughts have likely been your bigges...

Dec 31, 20249 min

Why Shame Is Sabotaging Your Relationship (and what to do instead) EP 97

🎁 Only a few days left to claim your "Pay-What-You-Can" Coaching Session with me. This episode talks about the crucial difference between guilt and shame, and why one might be secretly sabotaging your relationship growth. Shanenn shares: • How guilt is like your relationship GPS - letting you know when you've made a wrong turn, while shame is more like a brick wall blocking all possible routes 🚧 • Why treating yourself like your own mean girl isn't helping (and what Brené Brown has to say abou...

Dec 26, 202416 min

The Connection Formula: Are You Wasting Your Time Worrying? Ep 96

Do you enjoy how you're currently spending your time? Do you feel like you use your time wisely? When I am insecure and jealous, I don't! When you're feeling jealous, most likely you are spending your very precious time thinking about your partner rather than spending it on things that bring you joy, not a stomach ache. In this episode, Shanenn and Dr. Adam Dorsay talk about the concept of connection in our modern world. Despite being more technologically connected than ever, many people struggl...

Dec 17, 202437 min

Why Your "Everyone Cheats On Me" Story Might Be More Fiction Than Fact Ep 95

Ever felt like you're starring in your own personal soap opera where every relationship ends with infidelity? Host Shanenn Bryant unpacks her own journey from "everyone cheats on me" to "huh, maybe I should check my math" in this eye-opening episode. Key Takeaways: A shocking 50% of our memories aren't even accurate (Thanks, Dr. Joe Dispenza, for this incredibly eye-opening fact) Only 20-23% of men cheat in relationships (Sorry to ruin your trust issues with actual statistics) Married people che...

Dec 10, 202423 min

The 'Just So You Know I Know' Protection Strategy EP 94

Ever catch yourself saying "just so you know, I know what you COULD be doing" to your partner... even when you're pretty sure they're innocent? In this episode, Shanenn's calling you out when she gets into why we sometimes choose accusation over acceptance, even when our rational brain is screaming the obvious. THE HEART OF IT The moment your logical brain offers the truth (and why we often ignore it) Why we feel the need to prove we're "not stupid" in relationships The protective pattern of "ju...

Nov 26, 202424 min

Why You Control And How To Let Go Of It w/ Joanna Kleinman EP 93

🎙️ Where my freaks at? Control Freaks that is. In this episode, we dive deep with psychologist and author Joanna Kleinman to unpack why that voice in your head is working harder than a barista during morning rush hour. Shanenn and Joanna talk about: How your inner critic is just like the mean girl at school when you were growing up and she's been messing with you since you lost your first tooth 🛡️ The Jerry Maguire "you complete me" line is such a bad representation of the way relationships sh...

Nov 19, 202433 min

The #1 Question To Ask Yourself: Am I Being Honest? EP 92

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn's guest, award-winning psychologist Dr. Courtney Warren opens up about her own struggles with relationship insecurity and shares her thoughts about the lies we tell ourselves. From crying when her college boyfriend went out with friends to becoming an expert on self-deception, Dr. Warren's personal journey and professional wisdom offer hope for anyone wrestling with jealousy and relationship fears. Key Moments: - 2:00 - Why self-honesty is the key to living a...

Nov 12, 202442 min

How To Recover With Your Partner Quickly After A Jealous Meltdown EP 91

Feel like your relationship is hanging on by a thread? Do you wonder if too much damage has been done to the relationship? I was there too but you can turn things around. Your relationship can recover from this, but it's might take you going against how you normally feel after an argument to make a difference. It may take you recovering quickly instead of letting the shame and guilt of your actions take over . Apologize to your partner, forgive yourself, and push yourself to get back to normal a...

Nov 05, 202434 min

Break Free From The Identity Of Jealousy EP 90

🎉 Special Announcement: Join our FREE Two-Day Self-Discovery Workshop! Dates: November 4th & 5th at 1:00 pm ET Register at: topself.com/workshop I'm talking about you on this week's episode. The REAL you. Often we think we have to transform into someone else to overcome jealousy and insecurity and that seems like a huge feat to become your future self you want to be. However, you already ARE your future self. In fact, you are much closer than you think because its not about changing who you...

Oct 29, 202428 min

How To Know What You Need EP 89

Feeling needy? Do you feel like you're high-maintenance and your constantly asking for things from your partner to make you feel better? It has everything to do with your core wounds and your relationship to self. In this episode, Shanenn share's her acronym S.E.L.F to learn how to identify your personality needs and how to self-source those needs. She shares the importance of becoming the captain of your own ship to maintain emotional balance and independence. Shannen invites you to take small ...

Oct 08, 202431 min
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