Burnout

it was definitely less festive noticeably than other years. Um. It is definitely hard to celebrate freedom when you no longer have it. Um. I still, you know, I live between l A and Tennessee, but I'm a Tennessee resident and I live, really live in a state where I have less bodily autonomy rights than a corpse. And that's not maybe being dramatic. That is just a genuine fact,

and it's really fucked up. So if we have any like men listening or people who are having trouble empathizing with that, it's just it is insane to realize that the government can force you to be a mother in Ohio. This week. Um, there was a little girl who was brought in by Child Protective Services because she had been raped by a family member. And um, she was ten years old, and a ten year old can't give birth. You just you just can't do that, that is like.

And her state of Ohio banned all abortions and she was not allowed to get one, so they had to basically smuggle her over to Indiana to get an abortion. But who knows when that could go away too, So it's just the fact that that was so narrowly avoided and there was no support system for that girl in her own dight is insane. Um. So anyways, that's what's been on my mind. But this episode, speaking of all that,

is about burnout. And I think we've all probably seen what burnout is on the internet, and if you don't,

it's you've felt it. It's it's that feeling that the world is so heavy and so complicated and there's nothing you can possibly do about it, and it bleeds over into your own life and your own relationships, and you come home from a long day at work and you turn on the news and all you see is just absolutely horrifying things, and then you'll want you want to have a nice night with your partner, but then you can't make yourself be intimate because there's too much running

through your mind. And then all of a sudden, it's just like taking over your life. And so like we already have bad days, right, but then when you look and you see a bad world, it just exacerbates everything. And so when you have enough of those days in a row, hello burnout. And and given the culture that we live in, with the internet and cell phones and with the twenty four hour news cycle, it's impossible to avoid.

And I'm like the last age, Like I'm like the one of the last, like the tail and of millennials are like the last generation of people who can remember life before cell phones and texting and internet and all of those things, but also know what it's like to

have one, like all through high school. So I have an interesting perspective on that, Like I remember what it was like to not to have to have somebody call you on your home phone and to have to wait around to be picked up and not have a cell phone to the call and be like, oh, I'm gonna be here. But I also, you know, know what it felt like to be addicted to my phone by the time I was fourteen years old. Um, and I have a hard time turning off empathy, and I think it

that's a very normal human thing. I don't think I'm special for that. I think that we all do that. We just might not be able to recognize that that's what we're feeling. Um. But when you watch something on the news that's very taxing and people are dying for. For me, the biggest one recently was the the Uvaldi shooting,

I couldn't turn that off in my head. I could turn off the news, I could stop reading about it, but I always found myself circling back to it and winding up, like staying up late on Twitter, reading accounts from the kids, parents, and UM, it's hard, it's really hard, And I don't want to turn off my emotions, Like I don't want to become desensitized to this, because that's what it feels like we're heading towards as a culture.

It's just seeing stuff like that, being like, oh, look another's shooting and that's not That doesn't feel good to me. So I'm trying to find the balance between protecting myself but also not like tuning everything out completely and it's a delicate balance. And I'm going to tell you a little bit about what I found in my search for that and also share some advice from some other people.

So I'll bury that. So. I remember back in I Am was roommates with some some people and I was talking to them about, you know, all the Black Lives Matter stuff and all the hard stuff that was going on, and they were just like, oh, you know, I just don't really pay attention all that. And I was like, what are you kidding? Are you kidding me? Like you

don't you just don't pay attention. They're like, yeah, Like I just really can't, Like it's just really stressful, and I just like try to be quote unquote a political and I was like, a political that's not fucking real. Maybe it was real, but I mean, I just can't think of being a political. It is such a privilege.

It is such a privilege to be able to be like, I don't care who is in office, I don't care what decisions are being made for my country because at the end of the day, I am privileged enough that they will not affect me. I've never met a black person or a gay person who describes themselves to say political. I'm sure they exist out there, but I'm just saying, like, being a political is a privilege, and not everybody is

able to do that. And I know a lot of women who considered themselves to be a political but then now that the Supreme Court has overturned roev Wade, they're like, oh, wait a second, that affects me. It's like, yes, it does affect you. Welcome to the life of a minority women. Um, this is what it feels like. So no, I just I don't know exactly how to like handle that either.

Like I'm talking about this, but I don't really know the best advice because it's like, how do you tune stuff out enough that you're protecting your mental health but also not become totally ignorant? And so I actually posted something about this on my Twitter account and somebody shared some really good advice, but my tweet was like, you know, basically a moment of desperation and I was just screaming

into the ether, being like somebody out um. But I just was like, how do I find the balance between reading the news slash not being ignorant to the plight of minority groups? But still protect my mental health. It feels like a privilege to tune it out. But also my brain is completely consumed by the ship. So I'm

very depressing to talk to and that's very true. I have a really really hard time not talking about it because it's consuming me and I have a d h D and I think it might be like hyperfixation thing, and I hyperfixate on the news and whatever bad situation is happening. But I'm very depressing to talk to you sometimes, and I don't want to be depressing to talk to. So somebody, UM name M she's a fan and she's amazing.

She shared this newsletter with me called UM s y s C A Ship you should care About, And it's a newsletter that balances things out with good news, but it also shares like really important world updates that you need to know. But then it has pop culture as well, and that's been really really great. So I don't have to pay attention to stuff. Um, it's like I don't

have to follow all these news things on Twitter. I can just kind of like scroll through them, but I can read this newsletter in the morning, and so that was like really really great advice. UM. But I reached out to some friends of mine in the music industry because it is a really really special kind of burnout that you get because we're taught to say yes to everything. Um,

We're taught like basically instilled with FOMO. Like from the moment you walk into the music industry, it's like if you say no to this, like you never know what can happen, blah blah blah. So I've said yes to so many dumb opportunities because I'm like, you never know who could be there. But then also I've had opportunities

where it's been completely true. So it's like trying to figure out how to be deliberate with your time and protect your mental health and not to mention like artists and creatives are all like very very emotional people and that's what makes it even harder. And like I'm an angiogram eight and so I'm very just as oriented, and so if i feel like something is unfair and it's not getting fixed, I lose my fucking shit and I

can't think about anything else. And I'm just like so focused on getting justice, whether it's for myself or for others. I just I need that sort of not karma. It's not karma, it's being like these people need to know they're wrong, and that's my best way to describe it.

But so, um, up next, I'm going to share some advice I got from Butch Walker, my producer, and Maggie Rose, an incredible artist, and they both shared some really really great advice, having both been in the music industry and been you know, professionally ootional for decades at this point. So I'm gonna share that. Are okay? So I would go to Bunchet with advice for anything. Bunchwalker is an

amazing producer. He produced my EP I got here by accident. Um, I've looked up to him my whole life and getting to work with him was such a dream. He has produced Taylor Swift, he did Um Everything has Changed on Red. He's produced many of Pink songs. He wrote and produced UM so much for My Happy Ending by Avril Levine. He's produced Wheezer, Green Day, Fallout Boy, Panic at the Disco, and he is just a beast. Um can't ripe enough

about this man. So this was his advice when I asked him about like what he wished someone had told him earlier in the music industry and in this political climb it so, he said, I think burnout is inevitable with anyone who is constantly working toward goals. If you're a writer, you're always trying to be your best. If you're an actor, Sam, if you're an advocate for a cause and you're passionate about it, you'll burn out. The harder the flame burns, the faster it runs out of fire.

I stepped away many times in my career, whether it be from writing, producing records, and touring, or even from social media, when I get too wrapped up in it and can't find the goal post or what I set out to do. I have a little anecdote from my journey that I often share. When someone asked me how my role of being a producer came to be, I tell them that over twenty years ago, I just wanted

to be a big touring artist. I'd already been on the road, playing about two shows a year for a decade when I finally reached the point of being frustrated with a touring grind and not reaching unrealistic goals for myself. So I just walked away. I said to myself, I'll just make records in my studio for a while. I really enjoyed that part of music, and I hadn't had

time to explore it because I was always torn. Well, that's when all of a sudden, all of these amazing opportunities came my way as a producer, all because I was burned out on touring. That's when I realized to still love something for many years to come, I have

to be willing to let it breathe. The same applies to relationships as well, and I think there's so so much truth in that, and that was really good advice for me, and also for me to like think about reconnecting to the parts of music that I love that I might not make time for every day because there's so many different parts of it. I mean, you've some of you have probably listened to my podcast on the creative Process, and they're all very very distinct things that

you're doing, um to exercise that same creative muscle. So next up we have Maggie Rose. Maggie is an incredible artist, one of the best vocalists I've ever heard. She's done country, she's done rock. Um. She just has this really, really soulful voice and she had Her big start was when she released a cover of You Somebody by Kings of Leon Um on Universal Republic and her name was Margaret Darante at that point. Um, she's had songs on the

Disney Channel. Um. She's Her big single in country that like really broke through was the song called and Your Mama, And I love that she released a record in called Changed the Whole Thing, which really did change the little thing for her. Um. She just is such a spitfire and I adore her so much. She's towards Cheryl Crow. She has done so many things and I'm totally blinking on them because like she's so incredible. Um, I just could not adore her more. She's one of my best friends. Um.

She's a fashionista and just amazing. She's been featured in so many, like different publications Rolling Stone. Um. Oh, she's played the Grand ol Opry over fifty times. I want to say maybe over seventy five at this point. Um. But her album that came out is called Have a Seat, and it is a full soul R and B album and you guys have to check it out. It's amazing. So that's my very chaotic biography on making Rows but

this was her advice for burno. I realized recently that up until this point in my life I haven't done the best job establishing boundaries for myself, which is the biggest factor that leads to burnout. In my opinion, I've been programmed to believe I have to be the hardest worker, a people pleaser, and always on if I wanted to enjoy a successful career in the music industry, and everything around me reaffirm those beliefs. I do work hard doing

what I love, and I love making people happy. But I realized, after being in this industry for so long, that a sustainable career is not made or broken by one show or a big moment, and I don't need to answer every call that comes in my way if it doesn't fulfill me. That takes years of building confidence and knowing oneself, which takes work and self exploration. Furthermore, if I plan on doing this for the rest of my life, which would be the dream, that I need

to make sure I'm walking my path my way. I was told to stay away from hot button political topics in my early career, and I felt unrest because of it. I listened to my gut a lot more now, and I'm at peace with the fact that I'm so much more than just an entertainer. So I make sure I don't smether those parts of myself that make me a more well rounded and wholehearted person, trying to want what I have and not want. All I want is a daily exercise, and I love that, and I needed to

hear that. So I'm asking these people for advice to share on the podcast, but I'm also like, hey, successful person that I respect and look up to, and it seems to have a really healthy mental state. How do you do it? But if you guys have any good tips for avoiding burnout, I think I might do another episode on this. I'm on vacation right now, so I really was like, Okay, let's do an episode on burnout, but let's also not burn ourselves out doing it and

try to enjoy this vacation. So I also want to recognize that some of the coping strategies for burnout are inherently privileged. A single mom working three jobs does not get to go on vacation to Hilton Head that her boyfriend's parents were kind enough to invite us on and take that break and get to go to the beach and just lay out there all day. So I'm definitely just want to check my privilege there because we all have to adjust what we're capable of and um our

expectations for ourselves based on that. So I'm going to go take full advantage of this. And UM, I love you guys so much. I hope that you are able to find some healthy ways of dealing with this. UM, stay kind, stay whole, stay safe, and try to stay happy. I love you all so much and I'll be back next week. My name is Kaylie Short and this is too much to say. Don't asking questions now, turn it out you