Oh, good morning for all you podcasters a little after nine am. You are not hearing putting on the Ritz by Taco right now. Dwight will be here any moment now. He's sitting in traffic. It looks like sixty four westbound as an overturned semi as we heard in the news. I mean, don't they teach you on the first day of truck driving school that you, hey, mad, don't they teach you first day of truck driving school the how to take a turn or without dumping the I think we know the answer
to what happened to the person driving the zoo train. I think, yeah, that's that's the thing. All right, Okay, it was good day this morning, the sun was up and feeling good and I had to have a The Hirshborn six might have been right. Uh oh, yes are they? Are they still alive to hear this moment? The Hurstborn six. Johnny's doesn't remember the Hirshborn six. Hey, top Golf, it's going to be loud and it's gonna be right. Yeah. So they said, look,
it's gonna be too much. It's too loud, it's too many people we live back here. Well, they might have been right, because last night it's seven point thirty. A man was stabbed at Oxmoor Shopping Center in the arm and in the butt. Pullasville, Kentucky. There you go. So Aaron Ellis from LMP he's an LPDE spokesperson, responded to a report of a stabbing at the seventy nine hundred block of Shelbyville Road. That's my neck of
the woods in Saint Matthew's in Oxmore shopping Center. This man was stabbed in his forearm and it is butt. Things would be worse if we had an abandoned mall instead of a vibrant mall. Well, no, here's the deal is anytime you put in some kind of a golf course or golf facility, it just brings in the wrong element. Yes, true golf, violent golfer victorious. Yeah, Ray Charles could have seen this coming, okay. Ellis says that all parties have been accounted for for the incident. That means you're
not gonna be charged. That means they know each other, you know, they know each other. And if he got stabbed in a butt, that means he was probably trying to leave. It's always been but thank you, doctor Falci. I appreciate that. Hey, how about the guy that punched Mayor Fisher? Not able to stand trial but okay to walk around amongst us? How about that found yesterday? So apparently there was I saw that he was deemed in cocompetence stand travel. They don't let him off right, drop
the charges? Yah? Yeah, because done. That's that's he's free to punch Mayor Fisher. Again. That is the Louisville court system. We have lowsy freaking judges. Sure he committed assault, but I don't think he's right, and it's on video right down here on four Street live not they look like right down below us where it happened. Uh, I don't. I don't understand that thought pattern. Look, there are a lot of examples in Dwight's life where you would say he's mentally unstable to stand trial. Yes,
so had it might as well go ahead, right. A lot of people don't want Dwight walking amongst us. Most people don't. That's why Dwight stays at home. But he's not here. No. But here's the thing. In certain situations, the courts would prosecute to the fullest extent. For example, if someone came up to me and they were going to rob me, and I pulled out my waft for nine millimeters and shot him dead. The court system would want to put bury me under the under the jail. It's
it's just it's ridiculous. Oh, I know, And on that one, definitely I agree with you on that one. Definitely know you do, buddy. Okay, So gen Z, oh, gen Z, what are we gonna do with these kids? Gen z gz you're talking about that report out of Remember remember I used to Uh, I stuck up for the millennials. I said, either not that bad, they're they're yes, they have issues, but they're not that bad. And of course everyone made fun of gen X. They made fun of us and they said, look, these guys
are are are trouble and they don't care about anything. But once they figured out what we are. We were raised on water hoses and neglect. Oh, they left us alone. But this gen Z oh boy, yeah, I mean, I just it's the most narcissistic generation I've ever seen in my entire life. It's all about them. So the latest cool trend for gen Z landline phones. Yes, because they look cool. They're bringing back the
landline phones. Okay, you know, why me anymore? If you really want to commit to it, though, if you really want to commit to it, gen z bring back their pain in the ass rotary phone. Yeah, we got to go. And then ultimately, every time on the seventh number, you hit the wrong number and you gotta start all over again. Yeah. Hell, if you're pissed. If you're pissed by the time you dial a couple of nights, you're not mad anymore. I forget it.
Yeah, okay, okay. According to the National Health Reviews are Interviews survey, by the end of twenty twenty two, two years ago, seventy three percent of adults in households had no landline. Nope, three of four houses. I think that's actually low, and I want people to point out, like my mother has a landline. We have we have a house phone through our internet provider, through our cable provider. But that's it. That's the
closest. It doesn't count. It's not a landline. I got rid of my landline in nineteen eighty eighteen, nineteen ninety Eight's gonna say damne no, nineteen ninety eight because I had a cell phone. And the only cause that I would get would be right at supper time and they would be is mister whipman in you know this? I uh oh, Slim, hey, Slim, you got the comapment? Sam Casper and older gen Z at twenty seven.
He has a lineline? Was she? She says? She says she Samka Samanda says her her mom's husband's grandma's phone is what inspired her to have a landline phone. So I will tell you in nineteen ninety three, when they came up with the caller ID, which was a separate device. Yes, I remember you plugged the land the landline into the caller ID and then another chord from caller ID to your phone. Yes. And I almost cried because I could now look down see who was calling and go nope or Star
sixty nine Yes, Star sixty nine was good too. Who's stalking you? Yes? So, but your name came up with the phone number, and so I called the phone book and said, hey, can I not get my name? You were? I was, Do you remember because every time every time the hotline would light up Jack Carrouac, I said, how do I get my name? Not in the phone book? And she was like, well, it's two dollars a month, and I was like, it's two dollars a month to have not print my to not put ink in your
bread. She goes yeah, and I go, well, can I just put it under a different name? She goes, I said, how much is that? She goes, oh, no, that's free. So she goes, what name would you like? And you're doing this right now? She said, yeah. I go I looked around in my apartment. I went Jack Carrouac and she was like, are you serious? I said, yes, you in the nineties, I remember, I'll do that now. Jim Bullet. Jim Bullet had danger Boy. Yeah, so when he called
him, you just say danger boy. Think of all the money phone books are making now by not printing names. Woow yeah. And then when when you had the old dial up modems on computers, you got to do the Star seventy, so you're call waiting wouldn't click in and knock you offline. I think you could do Star six seven and would block the number. Like if I hit Star six seven and that I called your number, no, you couldn't see who it was. This is gonna blow their mind trying to
memorize all this stuff. They're all out there writing it down right now. I saw something on the news last night. It was on CBS. I think all these college students living on campus whining about the stress of food insecurity. It's like, I'm sorry, college cafeteria. What you borrowed thirty thousand dollars to be there, but you forgot the meal plan? No, no, Susan, what Susan? And I. Susan read the article and she shared it with me over the weekend. I forget which college was, but
they were protesting. They were doing a hunger strike. The hunger strike that lasted almost twelve hours, which I don't understand. On a hunger strike anyway, if somebody says, you know, hey, Dwight, unless you give me fifty bucks, I'm not gonna eat, I'd be like, Okay, what do I care? I mean it do a water strike like in Preson's they go on a hunger strike. Ah, I don't eat? Then what do we care? I remember? Did the hunger strike? Uh? Okay,
suffer? What do I care? I only argue with the gen z is when I talk to them, I'm like, you are miserable in the world. You created a line I called Dwight a dip you know what, every day and he goes, thank you. I mean, we live in our world. You created this sensitive, crazy, no one can ever get hurt ever world. And you're miserable. We told you you were going to be miserable. We called it, Yes, we warned you. Dude, you're creating a world. You're gonna be miserable because no one can say anything.
So you're sitting in a dark room looking at your phone. That's not my fault. That's problem. This is a you problem, not a meat problem. Okay, all right, talk about a kick in the gut. What else could we use of his term for kicking the gut? Kicking the little bit lower and the giblets in the junk? What do you call him, Dave? What do you call butt? Did I disagree with? But your biscuits? Biscuits? He says, biscuits. My mom says biscuits.
I know. And that's I've seen more people say that I've never heard of. Meet John Cheeks, Hey, John, all right, John Cheeks is suing power Ball and the Washington DC Lottery. Good for you, John, after the numbers. Can you imagine this happening to you? The guy that runs the website for the power Ball in Washington, d C. Posted the wrong numbers of Johns match. Oh my gosh, he thought he won thirty three hundred and forty million dollars. Wow, but he had not. But
hey, please tell me that he found out be whore. He did all the FU calls like calling your boss. Hey, Oh that's right. There's no better scene than Reno nine one one when they all think they won the lottery and they walk in. Have you never seen Reno nine one? I've seen it like a webisite danglar. It's funny about it, my god? All right, So he played his family's birthdays. That's what a lot of
people do. Everybody's birthday do whatever. So they posted the numbers on the website, but they weren't the same numbers that were drawn the night before. He goes to the lottery website and he thinks he wins three hundred and forty million dollars dollars. He is suing lottery officials say a contractor posted the wrong numbers to their website and told Cheeks, sorry, dude, throw your ticket in the trash case. Oh my gosh, end quote, great customer service.
There, no kidding Oh, can you imagine he's suing them? He is suing them. Yeah, I'm gonna make a I'm gonna make a prediction he's gonna win in the end. Yeah, I hope he doesn't crack. Take twenty five cents, Oh you have I gotta be chef. There's not much money left. Hey, if if Cheeks does win, I wanted you gonna spread the love. I mean, what was John cheeks nickname in he Oh? Come on, oh man, Johnny the Rump. Yeah, sure, Johnny junk. All right, let's do uh, let's do joke of
the day. Go and do that early. Yeah, it's not that early. No, it's nine to seventeen. It's just always lighteen. We're always late. All right, let's do joke today. Let's go ahead and do it right. We got plenty of stories. A man that h that is named Taylor Swift is having a miserable life. Oh, Haraska man was arrested for harassing a moose. You never don't harass mooses. I found something for you to make up for, not for getting kicked off of going on the
amazing race. Okay, what NASA is looking for people? Next year Long Mars simulation Yeah, I got the story. Yeah, I got the story. If he was I would say, yes, that fits. Well, there's more to it, and we'll get into that, like there's more to it when you get in there. It's not just a peaceful hangout. We'll get into the Mars. There's no reason to go to Matt Damon survived on Mars. You could do it movie and it's still I watched it the other
day, from beginning to end. It's one of the best movies ever made. Which one the Martian, Oh, the Martian. It's fantastic. Never heard of it. And we'll talk about Barbie getting shut out yet again from the BAFTA Awards. What is that the British Actors Actor in Film Television Awards. Yeah, it's not a big deal because Barbie is an okay movie. It's funny after the British version of the Academy Awards. Didn't ken know when Best Actor from the Film Actress Guild Screen Actors Good, Yeah I think he
did. Oh I see what he did there my bad blonde moment. All right, let's do Jocos Hey Fellas Hey, beautiful day like yesterday. A guy decides, you know what I'm gonna take advantage of this day and go for a walk in the woods. He starts walking through the woods, very peaceful day, but they he sees a bear. Oh no, all right, and then the bear, the bear sees him. It's even worse. The bear starts chasing the guy, say all night. The guy's running. He goes, I'm like, I can't out run a bear. So he
starts praying. He says, Dear Lord, I've been sea Steve. Please Lord, let this bear be a Christian at least. That's when the bear catches up to me and knocks him down. But all of a sudden, the bear stops just like that. It worked. Hey, bear gets on his knees and he says, Dear Lord, thank you for this food. That. How did your joke of the day, February twentieth, if you believe it? Twenty twenty four, Johnny, have a great day on the news. Yes, sir, all right back after this. Were in your
hot tub last night? Yes, I was. As a matter of fact, Susan and I got it in a hot tub last night and we were in there for two hours. Listen, folks, I'm not playing. If you want a vacation and you went all of the stress and the worries of your world just to melt away. It was just me and the woman I love sit and listen to the rolling Stones, Hackney Diamonds and reconnecting. It was a beautiful evening that two hours flew by like that. You could have
a hot tub too. Think that it's too expensive, think again, because this week hot tubs are fifty percent off. This is the last week of the twenty twenty three blowouts. Come on out there. You can get a hot tub as low as sixty five dollars a month. Over one hundred and fifty hot tubs ready for immediate delivery. And did I mentioned twelve months same as cash. That's what Susan and I did seventy five oh one Preston Highway.
Go down there see Todd Gibson, Amanda the crew at Southern Comfort Hot Tubs and Becky and I enjoyed some lots of pasta last week or so. I had some chicken that bores head, sliced chicken breast plowed through that. She's going to make a penny pasta with cream vodka sauce this week. All from lots of pasta. I also had the chicken pot pie with the flaky crust, the fresh carrots, green beans, no peas, and lots of chicken potatoes too, all the good stuff from lots of pasta. Yep.
So Maggie's coming to town this weekend from college, so we will hit our lots of posta. We're gonna hit the two favorite spots for Maggie Venetti, which is Skyline Chili ding ding and lots of pasta doubleing. We're gonna hit the lots of pasta thirty seven to seventeen Lexington Road in the heart of Saint Matthews. I'll spend some time on that back wall in the frozen section with the rabbit revioli. He loves that red one, you know, that's right.
The goat cheese so good, iculous. It is ridiculous. It's like it's like candy. You're eating candy. H So go check out lots of Pasta and tell them the Tony and d White Show with Dave Jennings sent you back after this, I'll do. He was ready to wait forty whash is it, David Bowie? It's the live version from Nirvana. Oh, because it is Kurt Cobain's birthday today. I don't care what anybody says about being overrated with Nirvana. You weren't If you weren't there at that time, you
weren't there. Man, you understand how they were sort of the catalyst that made that opened the door for everybody else, Like they MTV and the radio station started playing Nirvana, which kind of opened the door to all that Seattle sound. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. You can pick apart their music now and say overrated, but at the time they were significant in music because you went from that lipstick and party, party, party, party.
You know, every rose has its thorn, brilliant poetry of music, every hair band. What I used to that was my closer Kelly's lounge. Yeah, I would get a girl now, slide the DJ a fiver and he would play Poison. I would singalongue hear. I would go Every rose got the thorn, baby as it say, Yes, you're grammar there. Every every rose got time they woke up and went, oh my god, I gotta get my life together. Yeah, you women got sober and I'm better
than married. Soon after up with you, I'm like the healing place. I'm rock bottom. You are rock bottom. I'm rock bottom. This is the story that John was talking about earlier, where NASA is actually looking for some people to live in a Mars simulaly. Once you in there for a year, that will not be Nirvana. No, it will not be well okay, like toss in the desert or something. Uh, it's no,
it's a well Houston Space Center, Oh okay, okay. And Tony said earlier that I'd be a good candidate because I like being myself and what not, which normally would be yeah, but it's not. There's more to the story than that. It's the Mars Dune Alpha is the project's gonna be at Johnson Space Center in Houston, Texas. Uh. When you're in the facility,
though, you're gonna face various different challenges. There's gonna be simulations of things that occur if you're actually living on the Mars planet, including resource limitations. They're gonna put you through equipment failures, communication delays, yeah, that one about me, environmental stressors, and in addition, they're gonna be asked to perform different tasks like spacewalks, robotic operations, and habitat maintenance. I
think the whole lack of oxygen. Thing that will get rid of them. Well, here's the thing they're gonna do it that they're gonna go and somebody's gonna step on Mars, right, and then that's it. You're not gonna populate Mars now. It's not gonna be a base on Mars. It's too far away. Everything on Mars wants to kill you. The radiation. Uh, the lack of oxygen, the lack of water. Of the storms are make cur cane here look like little rainstorms. It's crazy, how uh hostile?
Don't give me, don't get me started on the gigantic space Martian and by the way, space it is too far away. It's too far away. If you're going to build a base, build it on the moon. It's three days away, three days driving to San Francisco has made out of cheese or to boot. Yes, uh so, anyway, if you want to if you want to apply to be part of this, you have until April second to apply. Compensation is available. The comps for doing a bit, will you lock me in a room with a bunch of stem nerds for
a year. The trip to Mars, by the way, takes about seven months. Seven If you time it. What kind of data did you get from time it around that you know when they it's not all the time that it's close. They have to time it cru so because it goes around in the circle. Dwight, Oh yeah, and then the other and they're not at the same speed, not lined up. I'm not excited about Mars, but I am excited about Uranus. I would love to send you to Uranus.
I would love it. A guy whose name is Taylor Swift explains why his life is miserable. Taylor Swift way share. Imagine sharing the name of arguably the biggest females celeb in the world in matter of fact, the last decade. Really the male Taylor Swift is thirty, so he's in the It's not like some old dude. You know what this sounds like. This sounds like a meet Leonard skinnerd gag. You can book Taylor Swift. Yeah, oh imagine that. Oh hey, everybody, uh from experience, don't do
it. I was the first one in that meeting you stand up and say, don't do it. Any other fan base but a skinnered fan base. As soon as the singer shot to fame, mister Swift starting getting teased. Similar to most kids, I was trying to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be. But a couple of high school bullies and a choir teacher. How bad do you have to be if the choir teacher is bullying you hitting it with his wand I was bullied by the choir teacher.
What like if I'm the dad, I'm upset. You mean the choir teachers. But the choir teachers bullying you? Look son, his dad? Did you just say, hey, look at you? You're a choir teacher? He says, it's miserable. He says his name is the topic of literally every social interaction. He hates it. I wonder what his middle name is. You can work around this. Yeah, but then sounds like a serial killer if you throw that with the middle name. Oh okay, later a
minute. He's getting into politics. This actually might be smart. Well, if your name is Taylor Swift, you run for office, vote because people are gonna people are gonna vote for it as a goof Remember the Edie Murphy movie The Distinguished Young Gentlemans. Yeah, yeah, yeah, vote Jeff Johnson. Why Jeff Johnson? He took h There was just some guy he took. He took a former senator's name, and he ran by that name and he won. Because that's what people do. They look at name recognition.
Yeah, it's a terrible movie. So awesome are you talking about? Okay? Now I want to bully him because he does this when he get when he meets people as an icebreaker line, I go, uh, Taylor Swift, please feel free to make jokes. I'll shake it off later. I'm sure you will. Now all three of us at that point would bully him. He's in the party we're at. I'm on the side of the choir director. Now me too, Yeah, me too. I just or I
just go okay and just walk away. So he's complaining about how miserable it is and then introducing himself as Taylor's Well, how well, you gotta embrace it, I guess, But don't be super nerd if your middle name is like beat Tom Swift and be done with it. Yeah right. I wonder if he cries alone in his bed, I guarantee it. You guys don't. Yeah, a couple of times a week. I don't either. Why Sometimes, Well, guys, what you beat Samantha Heart, she's in trouble
with HR at her Oh no, no, Samanthas. Samantha's always walked the line, don't they, Because there's Sam's when they're the bad girl and Samantha when they want to be a good girl. Yeah, Sam has the double horns on one shoulder, but Samantha has the haylong You know how you can tell the Sam's Samantha. Sam smokes right, if she lights a cigarette, You're like, oh, we're in for it tonight, Sam is here.
Sam. Sam also goes a little bit heavier on the eye liner, like yeah, right, oh you are, and then that little tiny line that all goes out, he goes out to good god, what if she's a Sammy? What Sammy? She's a you? Okay, oh you're Samue when you're little? All right? What is she? What she do? Well, she got a new job, and HR is now taking issue with the way her name appears in their system. It's not her fault. Her name
Samantha Heart. So what they do at her office is they put your first initial and then your last name, and then the name of the business. So it's coming out short short, So they're putting the what the way the email system is set up of this business. Last name, first first initial name. So Samantha Heart, it's coming out shart period H A R T. Human. So now they're making her take another Moniker besides her real first initial. And our generation's a holes. I mean, come on, what
the hell? Unoffended? Why because short? And by the way, when we were growing up, you didn't shark. You just pooped your pants. There wasn't a word for it. No one's asking her out anymore. And that's the worst. We used to have a production director here that would do that, just in the studio working with him. Oh no, and he just continued to work. No, It's like, dude, yeah, yeah, the tell me his name. No you know, no, you know
stop it? No, not sit now, No, not Jimmy. And by the way, we got to have a discussion about Jimmy the engineer. Yeah, he is a really good looking guy. Can't find a date we gotta do. Who was to date Jimmy the Engineer? I asked him, I said, do you smell? No? He was like, no, I don't think I do. He doesn't smell maybe shark stiff everybody. I was gonna say, how do you know that? Jimmy doesn't smell. I'm
a regular Biden. I'll go about it. That's the first I got doing a meeting to say, good afternoon, mister bank president, how are you? Because I told him, I said for me specifically, stinky is the first. I'm out if you're stinky, sorry, honey came out, asked that, and I will be honest, I'm sorry this won't work out. We're having such great we are. Yeah, you stinky? You smell all right? So, uh, we got to find something for Jimmy. He says, uh, he just I guess he said. Did he say he
couldn't? He doesn't. He doesn't communicate very well. I'm not the one I'm doing it right now. I think that maybe we ought to have a contest. Who was today? Jimmy the engineer? And we will send you and Jimmy the lawyers will never let us do to Baron knows pizza in a limousine. Oh you have a time machine? Where can go back at time when radio is fun? Oh? Okay, they listen. There's another saying. I'd rather ask for forgiveness and permission. May we just do it?
We've lived our life like that. We have lived our life like that, so I think we do a contest who was to date? Jimmy the Engineer will send you and Jimmy the Engineer in a limo to bear on those peach where you have a fine meal and open open to all genders by the way, of course, Yeah, yeah, well I don't see gender for once. Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, No, I know, No, it's not open to old genders, Joe, it's not. It's twenty twenty four. No, I'm sorry. Hello, we have to ask Jimmy
first. It's twenty twenty two. You have to be inclusive. No, we you do, yes, you know. I don't think Jimmy would want to do this. If we have to be inclusive, Jimmy won't know. Wait what, jim jim Wait what? Look Jimmy, don't think, just feel. It's been a while man, don't think it, just feel. Keep your options open. By the way, when you do that line, you have to take your finger and you have to smush the lips of the other person. Well they can't talk. Don't think, just feel. Feel.
So anyway, should you be picked up in a limb with Jimmy the Engineer, you get whisked away to Barnol's Pizza, and then after a fine meal at Barnold's Pizza, We're gonna have you go to Heart and Cheap Trick at the Yump Center. Wouldn't that be a great People won't believe this, but we did. We we wanted to find the biggest loser in Louisville. And we had a record number of people sign up for said they were willing to be on a fifty thousand watt rock station and be called the biggest loser
in Louisville. We gave them, so if you're the biggest loser in Louisville. And by the way, the person that won, Wow Wow, And he he got a limo and we put six exotic dancers with him for the entire night and they rode around to bars, and we had bars where we had trade. So he got to go around with six exotic dancers by himself, and he would go to we He went to three or four different bars all night long, and then the limo dropped everybody off. But it was
probably really good night for him. And it's still smiling and he was. And then another time I had a problem with uh this coming out, Oh no, do you have a good time, and he would and it would go down and he would suck it back in. He I did, I had a great time. Oh God, says like a pug. Yeah. And then there's another time when we were in a rock radio that we did who Wants to Date Dwight's cousin? Yeah, and we put my cousin Suzanne
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well. You have to clean your carpet, that's right. Listen, Zero RESK carpet cleaning folks, Hey, get your carpet, get your postery cleaner than ever. Insanely clean is how it gets it. With patent a z R WAD or other places, they're gonna use harsh detergents, soaps, chemicals to try to clean your carpets. Well, it's gonna leave behind residue, the collects dirt, and quite often it makes your carpets look even worse.
Don't go that route. Go with the pros. It's zero risk. And right now, if you mentioned Dwight Witne or whas, you can get three rooms of carpet clean for one hundred and nineteen dollars plus. They're gonna throw in a staircase for free. Schedule easily online at zero Reslouisville dot com. As Big Paul checks in with the show, he says, Udate Jimmy, the concert ticks are nice, but mainly for the pizza. Thank you,
Big Paul, you are in the running to date. Jimmy the Engineer stick around Tuesday school a great time, thanks a huge an with h they can't get it picture you get click dude, we have. We chose the right stick around Tuesday's too. Right after News News Radio eight forty w h as