To Be Continued with Cristela Alonzo - podcast cover

To Be Continued with Cristela Alonzo

Cristela Alonzocristelaalonzo.com
Hello! You might've ended up here because you're familiar with my Netflix stand-up specials "Lower Classy" or "Middle Classy." Maybe you were a fan of my sitcom "Cristela" or you saw "Cars 3" and thought, "I NEED to follow this yellow car!" Look, ’m a homebody. I love plants, I build Lego sets and watch a lot of murder shows. I also have lived a hell of a life. I was born in Texas and grew up in extreme poverty. My family squatted in an abandoned diner for the first seven years of my life. I moved to Los Angeles and lived in my car. I moved back home to help my sister raise her children and become my mother’s caretaker until she passed…all by the age of twenty-two. I still somehow, made TV history and became the FIRST Latina to create, write and star in a TV show. The thing that got me there was my story. It was unlike anyone else’s and allows me to talk about life from a point of view that doesn’t get a lot of attention. I’m into current events. I struggle with anxiety and depression. Did I mention I love Lego sets?
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Episodes

EPISODE 40: I’M GOING TO BE HONEST. YOU DON’T REALLY KNOW ME.

After a long hiatus, I'm finally back with another episode where I decided to come clean about myself. I think people always think they know me but really, I keep a lot to myself. I chose to upload it today because today I made a MAJOR announcement and wanted to talk about it in depth. I also want to give a shout-out to my four listeners. I hope you're still around!

Mar 17, 202552 minEp. 40

EPISODE 39: I'M NOT HIGH OR LOW...I'M MEDIUM MAINTENANCE

I'm back with a new episode where I thank my new (and old) supporters and talk about how being in the middle can be a great thing. Also, talk about mental health and how it affects me and how I treat myself....and the Cowboys. lol

Oct 06, 202338 minEp. 39

EPISODE 38: I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP, I'M A TOYS 'R US KID (FINALLY)

This week I talk about my toy/retro video game haul that I got in San Jose while doing shows at the IMPROV with my friends Steve Halasz and Jerry Rocha and how buying old stuff can unlock moments that bring back memories and remind you of times when you were happy. Sometimes we need that reminder.

Apr 20, 202339 minEp. 38

EPISODE 37: LIKE WHAT YOU LIKE. EVERYONE ELSE SUCKS

I went to Wrestlemania 39 last week. Grew up a wrestling fan and had some people criticize it because "it isn't real." It made me realize how much people LOVE to judge things people might like because THEY think it's weird or lame. My point is: If it makes you happy....who cares? It's hard to find joy sometimes. When you find it, don't let it go.

Apr 14, 202338 minEp. 37

EPISODE 35: It's A Next Year! My List of Five Random Things That I Kind Of Remember From 2021

I just wanted to do a quick episode to say "It's The Next Year!" to everyone. I'm saying this instead of Happy New Year's because why give you the pressure of trying to be happy if you don't feel like it? I decide to randomly do a list of five things I remember of the top of my head about 2021....not good or bad....also, I mention NFTs but I don't know what they are?

Jan 01, 202236 minEp. 35

EPISODE 34: Merry Christmas! If I'm Wearing Pantyhose, I'm Robbing A Store

This episode was recorded on Christmas as a Christmas gift to all of my four listeners. In this episode I catch everyone up on where I've been and what my year has been like. It's had ups and downs and guess what? I'm still here. I talk a little bit about writing a Lifetime Christmas movie, hosting Legends of The Hidden Temple and preparing to shoot my second Netflix stand-up special!

Dec 26, 202144 minEp. 34

EPISODE 31: Do You Ever Ask Yourself If You're 'Enough?'

I finally made a new episode of my podcast and explain how the struggle I have with doing my podcast is the question that makes me wonder if I'm doing "enough" for people to want to listen. I always catch up everyone on what I've been up to...like writing a Lifetime Christmas movie with a predominately Latino cast, directed by an awesome female director and why I'm so into vintage clothes lately.

Jun 10, 202144 minEp. 31

EPISODE 30: Should Birthdays During A Pandemic Count?

This week, my listeners realize I'm back after taking months hiatus to try to help save democracy. Did it work? We still don't know! Starting the year with a new podcast to catch people up. Also, for the first time ever, I talk about my birthday in public and about roller skating.

Jan 02, 202145 minEp. 30

EPISODE 28: TGIF (Tias, Goya Is Fired) EVERYONE!

This week, I break down why the media is not "a virus" and how I love when I ask people to unfollow me because they support a racist. Also, I talk about the magic of Latino supermarkets and why our spending power is a tool we need to learn how to use more...I'm not talking to Goya anymore, it knows what it did.

Jul 11, 202049 minEp. 28

EPISODE 27: Stop The Spreading Of The Karenavirus

It's time we talk about the importance of wearing masks during a pandemic where people are dying....and how not wanting to wear one because it's about freedom is the dumbest thing I've heard. Go run into a burning building after fire fighters tell you not to because of "FREEDOM" then....(insert eye roll here)

Jul 02, 202042 minEp. 27

EPISODE 25: The Person That Knows Me Best...

This week, I introduce my best friend Steve to my four listeners. If you follow me on social media or have seen me on tour, then you know him. We got people from IG to have Steve ask me questions they wanted the answers to because he knows, I don't really like to get too personal...

Jun 10, 20201 hr 14 minEp. 25

EPISODE 24: Black Lives Matter

In this week's episode, I talk about why I support the protests and talk a little about why it's important to support the movement and make sure you don't insert yourself into it. There's really nothing more to say about it.

Jun 04, 202033 minEp. 24

EPISODE 23: I Was Depressed? I Just Thought I Was Poor

This week, I talk about my love of space and science, I break down my breakdown from 2018-2019 because it's Mental Health Awareness Month and the thing I'm into this week is money...YOUR money!

May 28, 202053 minEp. 23

EPISODE 22: White People Should Stay Out of Haunted Houses

This week, I dive into why I LOVE scary movies but also what is wrong with them and talk about why I’m wearing workout clothes but not working out. Also, I talk about how I’m the kind of person that makes playlists about playlists.

May 20, 202053 minEp. 22

EPISODE 21: St. Vicks Vaporub - The Saint Of Healing On A Budget

This week, I break down low-budget health care and talk about what it was like translating action movies for my mom as a kid. Also, I list all the video game consoles/systems I have and talk about Animal Crossing. Did I mention I'm single? Pew Pew.

May 13, 202053 minEp. 21

EPISODE 20: Taking Down My Cinco De Mayo Tree

This week, I talk about the importance of Cinco de Mayo, one of the holiest holidays for my Mexican community and how I'm having a hard time understanding it's May. Also, I go on about comic book movies and how I want to give people bricks.

May 06, 202044 minEp. 20

EPISODE 19: When My Phone Dies, I Die Too

This week, I talk about how the most helpful thing to get me through a pandemic was growing up poor because I've been going without necessities my entire life. I also talk about how I'm a proud plant mom and talk about what the hell "Planturday" is. Also, I talk about my phone because why on earth would I name my episode that and NOT talk about my phone?

Apr 29, 202052 minEp. 19

EPISODE 18: My 80's Movie Makeover

During this time of a global pandemic, I have decided to give myself a makeover because I have great timing. Sure, why not? It turns out, this time has been serving as a reset button for myself and I somehow end up talking about how even Barbie gets in a bad mood sometimes. Trust me, it all makes sense.

Apr 22, 202056 minEp. 18

EPISODE 17: Time Doesn't Exist Anymore

This week, I'm at the point where I've lost all concept of time and how because of that, I ended up exploring the world of conspiracy theories. Also, I talk about the resurrection of a long, lost skill I forgot I had.

Apr 15, 20201 hrEp. 17

EPISODE 12: TREAT YOURSELF LIKE GUCCI

JULY 30, 2018 : In episode #12, I talk about my return to social media after months of absence to focus on myself. I get honest about what has been going on with me, including changes that have made me take control of my life better and I talk about the importance of taking care of yourself mentally/physically. Oh, and I throw a little Star Trek: The Next Generation chat in there too.

Jul 30, 201851 minEp. 12

EPISODE 11: SMALL GOALS LEAD TO BIG CHANGES...

In episode #11, I talk about how heavy rain makes me homesick, my trip to Sacramento to see my friend on her first day as State Assemblymember, and how I spent my birthday. The thing I'm into this week is watching videos of the ocean, reigniting my love of science. I end by checking in on how everyone's "resolutions" (goals) are going and remind people to not be so hard on themselves. THE MOTTO OF 2018 IS 'KEEP TRYING!' 🇲🇽❤️🇺🇸

Jan 09, 201852 minEp. 11
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