Lets Talk About It

I'm Tamika D.

Mallory and the ship Boy my Son in general.

We are your host of Tami.

Tamika and my Son's Information, Truth, motivation and inspiration, name.

New Energy, same o us. What's up my song?

Huh am blessed Black and highly favored. I'm still celebrating Juneteenth. Shout out to Actively Black, get shirt and so far, Like you gotta read this back of the shirt because I need you to see what they say back and this shp read reading that a loud.

It says made from cotton grown by black farmers. Oh, made from cotton. This shirt is made from cotton. Oh yeah, they said they're gonna send me one of those shirts.

So shout out to Actively Black. They we supporting me. Everything I got on right now is black on this hat and the Cavil coaches my hat. The sneakers come from Enzo. Shout out to Enzo. They got some of the most comfortable sneakers. So this was on my you know black, I'm black and the black and the black.

Some people say that the time period of like the week of Juneteenth is the Jubilee week or Juneteenth week, So you know, black folks, they don't you can't tell us that something is on one day. It was already being observed by many people, many black folks, before it became a federal holiday. And I remember when when Biden first announced that that Juneteenth would be a federal holiday.

At first, I was kind of like, who asked for this?

Like this is not exactly like what we're looking for in terms of, uh, something to address the issues of Black America.

Uh.

And then I heard folks like Roland Martin and our sister Monique Presley and others who are like from Texas and understand the history of the day. And then you know miss Lee, who's an older woman, you know, elderly woman. You know, it's so many different people, and they gave a historic perspective or historical perspective her words together about the importance of Juneteenth, and I thought to myself and then over time I still wasn't one hundred percent convinced.

And things have to actually be closed.

It is definitely going to force children and others to say to their parents, what does today mean? You know, it's going to force people to do a little bit of Google searching, you know, and also give people the opportunity to feel a sense of pride, because I see that all over the timeline, even.

For people who are working.

They like I work at the hospital, so I have to go to work today, but I'm wearing this.

I have a pen.

I saw that Delta gave people a bracelet and you know, shout out to Delta. And it's exactly what I'm talking about as it relates to target.

When people be.

Like, oh, well, you know, so many companies are rolling back DEI, wife, just focus on target. Well, guess what, I also love Delta. I travel Delta. I'm over a million mile status, you know. You know already Delta is my airline. And guess what they are sticking to their DEI strategy and their DEI I don't want to say campaign, their DEI efforts, right, and so they gave out a red, black and green bracelet to riders.

That's that's a big deal, you know.

So I now am thinking that the holiday, while it doesn't take the place of the needs of Black America, it certainly is something that will require the world to stop and especially as they roll back our education, the little piece of slither of black history that was being taught in schools, you know, and and in other places. It makes the world have to stand still and address something that has to do with us, at least now.

So I guess it's a it's a good thing.

I mean, we should have time to celebrate some things, right, we should. We should be able to like we I think, and I find myself being a victim of it, right that I want equity, justice, equality so much that I don't want the micro anything. Everything is on a macro level. So we can't even celebrate June team people like Juete that ain't freedom anytime we do so, they said that

Sometimes well, some people will say that we as black folks do so much enjoying and celebrate and that sometimes we lose our sense of focus and purpose for what is actually you know, what will give us lifelong joy. And so you know, I hear that, I see that, I understand that, you know, as like right now in this time period where the boots are on the ground thing is such a big deal, and everybody's learning to and it's all over social media. It's kind of calmed

However, there are a lot of.

People who are among the boots on the ground community that don't want to pay attention to it at all. And that's where I think things get to be a little.

But theo is if they don't want to pay attention to it at all, they're not gonna right. So you trying to impose your ideology or your your understanding about where we should be on somebody who doesn't care as much as you do. It's not changing.

They don't care.

Mostly I don't care.

Some people just can't handle it in their minds and.

It's not there. It's not it's not that it's not their fight. It's not the way that they fight. Right. Everybody like when they say boots on the ground, like we literally boots on the ground. So for pretty much the last five to six years, all we've been doing is fighting. Like sometimes you want to dance to boots on the ground, just have it and not think boots on the ground means I need to be on the front line. Somebody might die and we gotta like sometimes

And it's just like I think, I personally think that you are also making it like you're you're you're Your definition of how people feel is.

A little, a little extreme.

It's not to me.

I don't think people don't.

Okay, I'm asking you this now.

People on your Instagram cannot those are not even those.

But I'm saying there are millions of people. There are so many people that when you talk about any black person who has done something, they'll tell you they ain't ship.

There's not millions of people, but there are some very very there's.

There's a there's there's a very yeah, there's a very strong dynamic and and you know, gender people that will say that about every black person. I don't gre for what you said, Oh, such sance did Obama. I ain't never this ship blood, I ain't never dishift black. I don't care who you say. It just it's like we just have to.

About about who historians or historical figures like. I don't think a lot of people. I've heard some people say, oh, doctor King didn't do this and that, But I think there is a consensus around, uh, with the majority of black folks, the majority that doctor King actually is an important figure I think about. I think about, you know, even the Black Panthers, there's a there is a majority, a majority that feel he was in for I think about Malcolm X.

The majority people say.

What I'm trying to say, is this her and this is what I want.

You to contribution was significant. But when it comes to women, it's like, oh, but she wasn't.

It's not just it's not it's not just because they're black. Right is when you all of these people that you talk about, they they were still pretty much in their infantry. They were thirty something years old, they hadn't been elevated to anything. They were pretty much just most of them was still like grassroots they were pretty much grassroots. They would they this is what I'm trying to tell you.

They elevated to anything. What would be the elevation.

What the elevation is when none of them gained any power within the in the system, none of them conquered the system. They was just still people on the ground fighting. And once you start getting gaining ground and you moved past you're just throwing rocks and you start getting and they give you a medal for something. Now you no longer, You're no longer relevant to our people, no.

More to our I don't I think you just got.

To be because I.

Don't think it's to our people.

I think more people, just like we say all the time, with all the hate that we receive, there are more people who are with us, who tell us every time they see us, we with you, we with you. I don't believe that it is to our people. I think it is always good to say to some people to faction.

But when you listen to Malcolm, when you listen to Malcolm X, he didn't feel like that. When you listen to marcol Luther King, he didn't feel like he felt like they felt like their people hated them.

Well, I feel like it's not. I don't think it's their people.

I think that what happens with all of us is that we become so concerned and consumed with the two or three people, and that's all of us. We all do it the two or three, and then the hundred is like we just kind that in a way, take them for granted. And the reason why I say that is because I think about something as simple as Instagram comments.

So we just.

Become consumed at times with the two or three because they sound loud, but they're really not as loud as the twenty who are really with us. So I think that has something to do with it, but it's not, And that's not and those two or three people can be harmful. So I'm not suggesting that we shouldn't care about it at all. But I don't think it's true that the majority of our people don't want to see

I do as well.

My son graduated yesterday and I'm going to celebrate that. Shout out to King cam you graduated from junior high school. Just watch it. Just knowing that he is almost fourteen years old. Wow, Like it's crazy to me. Wow, you know, just holding him in my arms as a baby and just seeing him almost as told as me right now, it's just amazing. So shout out to him. I love you the life.

King, Congratulations. So that brings me to my thought of the day. And you know what, it's really kind of in keeping. I know, y'all hear me talk about rats all the time, so it's kind of like, h get over it. People probably tired of me bringing up this topic, but this is very very important and a little different.

Well for me, okay, let me judge.

So you know, my birthday, Lushawan Thompson, my dear sister, and I celebrate our birthdays at the same time.

People are like, why do y'all have so many events?

Well, because it's two people who have different friends, which we're all kind of one big family now, but still different friends, different interests, and there's a ten year age difference, which really is fine because we kind of like the same music, we kind of like to do the same things, but there are some differences between the two groups, and so we merge to do a lot of different fun activities over X amount of days.

Now. I don't know about y'all listening out there.

And yes, people think because they see us always going somewhere and always doing something that we're always like having fun or doing fun things. But I can't tell you the last time. The last time we went to karaoke all of us was like seven months ago. You know, it's not a thing. We don't really get out that often. And so I think during this particular time June eighth and ninth, my birthday's the eighth her this is the ninth.

Shout out to Nevey Verday.

Nevey Verday, please check that out to make sure we get that right. Nevy Verday is not divertedt No, it's Verday, yeah, because that means green, right, Okay, So Nevey Verday in Belleville, beautiful,

So that's you know, a big thing.

So when we were trying to figure out a place for karaoke, the place that we wanted to go was like super expensive, you get nothing included, and.

I was like, you know what, I don't want to do that.

I looked up online and found that in Harlem there is a place that has karaoke on Friday nights.

So I was like, okay, this is perfect.

So I contact the man and you had to go over there, and you went over there, you know whatever happened. We get all the details and we say we're going to use this small kind of club like lounge setting to do our karaoke. I get a whole arrangement with the guy Lushawn, and I are like, this is perfect. So when arriving at the place, the front door, this is when I'm going to pay the deposit.

So I get there.

And the front door of this venue is shattered, and so I pick up the phone and I call the owner from the front door.

I haven't even walked inside.

There's a big security guard outside because they're getting ready for their evening opening for their affair. And so when I walk up and I see the doors shattered, I contact the owner immediately to be like, hey, I'm at your spot. I'm coming to bring the deposit. But I notice that the front door is shattered. Are you planning on getting this fixed? And he says no, He's like, no,

If you touch the door.

You'll see that it's not like shattered to the touch. The shatter is on the inside of the plexiglass. It's basically a bulletproof glass. So he's like, no, it's not you know, I'm not planning on doing anything. He said, I can't afford it. Okay, so cool. So I'm like, okay, me the type of person that I am, I would walk away right now just by the idea that the front door is not presentable for me to bring a

Okay. Cool.

He wasn't nasty, but just still talking back and forth. So I go and I say, okay, I'm putting the money and the bars in his hand. She says to me, well, how much is the No, she said, she said, what is your name? What's the date and time? So she's getting her paper to write the details down, which gives me time to inspect and look all around. And as I turned my face to the side, a rat runs this way and then something over here go and I'm like, oh my god. So I jump up and down a

It's not nobody is stressed about this rat but me rat or rats or whatever. So the thing my thought of the day here.

Is that the presentation of how you operate and how you maintain your business is more than likely an indication of what's going on inside. So how people will look at you and say, well, you know, just because that person doesn't dress neat and clean or keep their hair neat and clean, or you know whatever, it doesn't mean that they're dirty or whatever. But generally, how you look on the outside, or how a business especially looks on the outside, has a lot to do with what's going

Was shattered to this place, it should have been.

An indication to me that the inside of this venue is not being kept up. Because he does not even have the respect for his business to say, I don't want it to look crazy now. It happens to be in Harlem, and the corner that it's on in Harlem, it's a little while over there, like a lot of things go on in that area, And so he doesn't have respect for the community that he would say I need to make sure, my business looks up to you know, it has a good upkeep or whatever.

So why would I.

Ever think that I could go inside it there and that his kitchen would be clean, that his glasses and you know silverware, the utensils or whatever, the bathrooms or whatever are being kept to a particular standard. But now here's the real kicker. That part is.

Or you know, in and of it is one thing, but this is the other part of my thought of the day. I got a two part thought of the day today.

I don't know whether this man is black or not, but I thought twice about and I still have decided. I'm not gonna say the name of the place, but if people know on Friday night's a place in Harlem has karaoke, they'll figure it out.

And it's packed in there, packed okay.

But what I was thinking was, because he may be black, I did not want to put it on my platform to where he might lose business. But then I thought to myself, if that same business owner had his space was on one twenty fifth Street or forty second Street or ninety sixth Street or some other place, he could not keep that door shattered that way, he would not be able to keep his door that way because the community would demand something different from him. So rats get

But I also know that our crowd is not so.

Bougie that they can't do a good hood night, you know what I'm saying, Like, we could do a good hood night, but we do not have to subject ourselves to rats and vermin and and and doors being shattered. And I because I have a tendency to try to I don't want to say, shrink myself, but I try to check myself because all of y'all say, all, Tamika, you always, you know, got a problem with everything. You

Your hair down. And so I started to have.

A little bit of a complex about how I want things to be at a certain level. And as a result of that, I allowed myself to walk in a place to force myself to do something that I really didn't want to.

Do off the front door. But I still tried.

And what I ended up learning it was it reaffirmed for me what I know is that if it don't look right from the beginning, it ain't no sense in going down the road because each time you're gonna end up finding out that your first instincts about it was the right instinct.

Well, first of all, I would like to say that you definitely are very critical, super critical of things, but in this instance, you aren't. You know, when you walked in there and the rat was there, the thing was broken. Like when you told me somebody what like this, it didn't even make sense to me, you know that somebody would And the fact that he had no real care, like his response was oh, really, okay, all right, don't

I don't think the rat would be okay to most communities. They're not paying attention to that, probably because they don't go there at the time.

There's probably no way that nobody's seen the rat in there before it had to and if you come on, people have seen resident and it ain't stopping people from going there.

But also I think another part of it is that you know, when he says he can't afford to change the door, that's a lie because everybody said that. Well,

Right there that I know for you.

Right, so you could have gotten the doors, but it's not and it's not a priority because we as a people and the community that he's in, to your point, have not commanded demanded that you can't be here and operate your business in our neighborhood unless it is up to a certain standard. And I you know, it's it's funny because, as you know, our homegirl works for the City of New York. As you know, our girlfriend Tiffany works for the City of New York. She is actually

I'm like, I don't know.

I don't really want to report the man because it might be a black venue. And then you know, if I you know, people always like, oh, we got to give black people a chance race, right, some grace, And so I tell us, I'm like, what you think.

She's like, let me be clear with you, because, first of all, Tiffany does not do discrimination of accountability. Okay.

She wants everybody to be accountable, and that she with.

The law and the rules are the rules. Okay.

So if you go on a white restaurant, white owned restaurant or Asian owned restaurant and there's a rat, she wants that reported, and she also want the black people report it.

And she sends me anytime I call Tiffany.

And tell her that anything happened, Tiffany will send me three one one. She's like, call three one one and report the details. So I set to her in the text message, I'm like, I mean on the conversation, I'm like, I don't really want I don't know what to do. And she said, listen, let me be very clear with you. There are restaurants in Harlem, lounges and venues, and she knows because they get the inspection report that they don't have rats, and even if they get one from the

It is not acceptable.

And there are people who are maintaining their establishments in the same neighborhood. You got pont Bistro. Ponti Bistro is right down the street from this place. And guess what we know because we know Pebe Brass he has other restaurants. The chef from there. He don't play about that. He don't play about rats and rodents and all of that.

Of just decency, right, we should we should have we should have community based organizations that care enough to provide a clean and healthy space for our people.

And we do have community boards. We do have that, and it's like that should be a part of the focus. But guess what a lot of times these community boards have people on them who are very much so older. Right, well, no, no, I'm talk about community boards, like the community.

Boys that are responsible.

A lot of them are older people, like so much love to my godmother, you're what would you say? She's like an auntie to you and to all of us. Hazel Duke's she was on every damn community everything you could think of. But when she passed away, she was ninety two years old. So she's on a community board, but she don't go to the local club, so she don't have a clue what's going on at the local spot.

We have to show up for our communities. Sure, so you know, because you can't blame the people who are on the community board.

They're gonna make sure the senior centers are good. They're gonna make sure the streets are the garbage is being picked up. They're gonna make sure that.

The safety they're concerned.

Exactly are the safety issues are are are addressed. They're gonna make sure that the police deal with the people in the community a certain way to the extent they can that. You know, they're gonna see to it at the grocery store is there, but they don't know to go check the front door and the inside cleanliness of the local club.

Well, I hope the local club owned here this and realizes that we're talking about you. So we don't have to say who you are. Just do better, man, you know, we just we wren't. Decency in our community shouldn't be rats and shattered windows. We should we should want our communities to represent us properly.

I guess so, I guess that's what we want him to do. But I think I think that is true. But moreover, I just want to know it's not so much for him because I'm sure he won't hear this, so you don't sound like that type of person. But what so for people who are listening, who I know, go to that place and will we demand something different?

Makes sense?

There's that all right? Well that was long and drawn out.

But what I mean but it made sense. You know, you had to get the story, had to be told that way to get the full synopsis.

Yeah, I mean I could have just said I went to a place in Harlem and this is what happened. But if you know, the color around everything is what makes it like special.

That's why.

Because somebody would say, like, well, what the hell would you be going to the place in Harlem on the corner of X Street for any way to have a party.

Wow, it's trying to have at night, you know, so it makes sense. Good old hood night, a good old hood night. AnyWho.

That brings me to let's see what's next TMI. Well, some people say it's a split decision here, okay, six thousand comments on one post. I just happened to see this in my two am musings. There's a man who has been taking care of a young girl, which is his wife's daughter, since she was four months old. Came into the daughter's life by way of meeting the mother when the child was four months and I think they got married once the.

Child was two years old.

Okay, Now, when it comes graduation time for this young lady to go to college or at least to get out of high school, she has a graduation and she does not prioritize having her stepfather at the graduation. In fact, who ended up being there is the actual biological father and some other people.

Now there were folks, you know.

I I when I heard that the father, the actual bio logical father, was there, I was kind of like, okay, well, you know, that makes sense to me. And then they said there were eight tickets. Eight tickets is not only because it said, oh, the.

Father wrote a whole post about it. The stepfather wrote a post about.

It, and he said and then I learned there were only eight tickets. I'm like, eight tickets is a lot of tickets, right, That's a lot of tickets.

And if you've been taking care of a.

Child since they were four months old, and particularly married to the mother, not like we met, and then I just kept the relationship with them while I was no longer with the mother. But no, they actually are still currently married. That is a significant relationship. But when it came time to distribute the tickets, they went to the mother's sisters, the girl's boyfriend I think, the grandmother, an uncle.

And the biological father, and of course the mother.

So the eight tickets were taken and the stepfather was not given a ticket, so he was not allowed to go. So he was so upset and heard about it that he said, well, now she's grown, I'm taking her off my car insurance and my health insurance and whatever other things that he did for her. And he said, now you know, since I wasn't chosen, now, if she needs somewhere to go, she should go stay with her father

And I'll give my opinion.

I would say that I don't know if I would have in that moment said I'm taking you off my insurance and all of that, because it is certainly a way to show like you're trying to retaliate based upon your feelings immediately.

I do think, though.

That this young lady is still a child, and later on in life she will realize that something should have been done about the arrangement here to ensure that her stepfather was able to be there, including having her boyfriend meet her after the graduation instead of having to be there and have that ticket. I don't know the situation where all her family members, her grandmothers and aunts, maybe they are very close family personally, two aunts, I don't feel two aunts.

Need to be there.

We need to make a choice as a family that one aunt is one aunt is gonna go and or the boyfriend is not gonna go, but somebody needs to fall back to make space. There's no way that eight people should have attended that graduation and not allow a man who.

Has been there.

He said that it's caused turmoil in his house because he took her off his insurance, and I kind of feel like they're taking advantage of him, But I do I would say that we have to be mindful not to react to everything in the moment, because it gives the impression that you kinda are dangling money and things over her head, although insurance is not just money, that

It should be based on the relationships. You know, if her biological father, although he probably wasn't able to take care, if he's been in her life and they have a very strong relationship.

Or a decent relation, decent.

Relationship, right, then he has the right to be her graduation. But if I married a woman who has a child and his father has n't been present, and then probably just recently, you're trying to rekindle a relationship, I'm just telling you me.

I'm saying if I know, but that's what I'm saying. I don't want to make a so I want to assume. But jadon assume because I want to assume because he didn't say that that man hasn't.

Been But he's saying he'd been taken care.

Of, right, But that doesn't mean that your other dad wasn't there.

But to say that he's been taking care of a child since you know the child, since the infant means that for me to be saying I'm taking care of that, miss me, somebody else wasn't taking care because if I'm taking care of you, and and for me to say that, that means I know that this person hasn't been present. That's the only way that I would have this level of okay. Then if that's how you feel, and cool if you because he didn't say you chose your boyfriend

Right, I feel like you say you would just jump up and take the I don't.

I wouldn't just jump up and take, but moving forward, I would acknowledge that, right, and then when I start making decisions, I can't prioritize you in a way that you don't prioritize me, right, I want to do the best for you and cool, I would let you know first of all, hurt my feelings, and then and then moving forward, you know, I would have to prior I have to treat that the relationship has to be equal to me, you know, and you can't hurt somebody's feeling

What I'm saying. Both dads should be present.

And that's what I'm trying to say. So because you.

Don't know what the circles, and I want to believe the best that maybe the dad, like you said, was in prison or maybe not, let's take that off of his name. Maybe he just didn't have the resources. And if you living in the house, would child automatically. It makes you have a certain type of relationship. Get that job from now, when your insurance and different things you put them on, because that's your wife's child who.

Lives with you, And that's what I'm trying to say.

So I'm saying that the boyfriend doesn't need to be there but like Jamie my best friend said, you know, when we was young, we were stupid. We ain't even going to the graduation if our boyfriend can come. But that's type of stuff we would say, not some about we as in young girls.

Listen to me, it doesn't make sense. And I understand the man's frustration, and just based off the fact that he pointed out the father, he believes that that father hasn't done nearly enough to actually be able to.

Supersede him for a ticket. Okay, I think two aunties. If I was two aunties, I would say, I'm gonna stay back and get the dinner together, straighten out the restaurant or whatever whatever, get the balloons, but I don't need to go.

But the anties has to be what grade, what she is, she graduated high school. That might have said, you've.

Grown that the mother was supposed to regulate that though everybody.

Said that, I feel like that's true.

But I also because it cost so much, turnoi in, your aunt.

Was supposed to stay at the house and get everything together.

If that's your husband and it's the person that pays the bills and the tranquility in your home, you allowed this young girl who's who's making the decision that she don't even understand the dynamics of that decision to affect your home, like your assurance, Like you know how serious people died about insurance. People ain't got no insurance, car insurance, what mental medical assurance? Like, come on, it's crazy.

Like I feel for the man. I hope that they find a way to work.

Feel for them to.

Apologize to that man. We sorry, sir. Well, we have a friend, our brother, our friend. Elliott Kannie is joining us yes for this episode where we're talking about men's mental health awareness. I didn't know that June is Men's mental health months. We should have done some more stuff, like you know you learned these months.

I don't know.

I don't know where the months be coming from, but they got dates and months and sibling day and this day and that day to try to keep up.

We need a calendar around.

But anyway, Elliott Kannie is a psycho therapist. He also, as far as I'm concerned, this is a therapist to all of us in the movement, because we all everybody be calling them on the load and nobody tells anybody, but everybody knows you call Elliott Khannie when you're in trouble with some mental health issues. But he also is our podcast sibling at the back Black Effect podcast Network. He has a show called Family Therapy and has been a guest on our show before.

We've been guests on his show.

And it's good to have our brother Elliott Connie with us today.

We need some kind of thanks for joining us.

Brother, No problem is good to be here. I love y'all both.

Yes, yes, thank you for coming on.

So we were actually just talking about something and I just wanted to get your take on it. We generally don't well, sometimes we do ask our guests to lean into other topics that are on the show for this week or that particular week. And this week we were talking about on our TMI segment, which is a segment where we discuss whether or not people are doing too much or some folks are like no, actually what they

I'm sure it's got him.

Come on, I don't know.

It's got to be high school. And so he was not able to go.

There were eight tickets allotted to the families for the graduation, and he was not one of those individuals. But the biological father was allowed to go, and so he said that, you know, he was so upset about it.

His films were so hurt.

When he got home, he took his stepdaughter off of his health insurance, his car insurance, and whatever other things he was doing for her. He said, she can go live with her father if since she's grown now go stay with him. And so that gives my son the impression that the father had not been showing up in a certain type of way for this young lady's life.

Absolutely not.

I don't think it really matters whether or not the biological father has been showing up or not. I think the bigger issue is we have a tendency to treat children as if they are like miniature adults. And I have no problem with this stepfather having hurt feelings, but he needs to understand that though this child is likely eighteen, I agree.

With you this is probably think. I think it was a high school graduation. I saw the story.

He has every right to have hurt feelings, but he has to address it as an adult and explain to this step daughter that he has hurt feelings. And we have to understand that even though the biological father, let's say the biological father wasn't around, children will live their lives in pursuit of approval and connection from their biological parent, and this might be an attempt for this child to get that.

Now, is she doing the right thing?

Probably not.

And he has a justified reason, justifiable reason have his feelings hurt, but he's now taking it out on the child, and he's making the child's life worse and more complicated. And when you marry this woman and take on the responsibility of raising that child, you are taking on the responsibility of being good for her and to her, even while you have hurt feelings. Now, stepdaughter or not, like the two of you, have children, and sometimes your children

She doesn't know what she's doing.

Well, So I'm gonna give a little pushback. If when my son got to a certain age when he was grown and he started to talk to me or do things that were disrespectful to me, to when you start hurting me, hurting my feelings, I told him you got to get out. I'm not paying no more bills. You need to find you somewhere to go. Right, So, as much as I understand what you're saying, but if this

So I have to make it you made a decision just because you graduated that you're grown.

No, when you made a decision that I'm going to invite the people I want at this graduate.

But what about if her mother probably helped control the list? See that that makes it a little bit different.

But regardless of what if you and your mother, and this is what I'm saying, cool, y'all got it?

You gotta stop until you finish eating that or you want a tissue because you like slurin. I'm telling you, and I know you're not gonna want that, So you want to just finish real quick?

Yeah, not gonna be real quick. Okaya, it ain't gonna.

Be real all right. Well, I just still I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know because I feel like, again I told you the boyfriend probably because of the makeup, the makeup

If my boyfriend can't, well, you're a boy.

If you need to pay for your car insurance.

But here I'm gonna here's my response to my son's pushback, which I actually.

Agree, Like, I understand where you're coming from.

But there are two variables, and just from reading the story, I don't actually have the context for these two variables. But the first one is in your situation my son, Like, my guess is you have talked to your son about like in essence, he was breaking rules that you had taught him not to break, and then he gets to the point where he continuously breaks them, and you say, well, if you're gonna keep doing this, I'm now perceiving this as disrespect and you need to go live someplace else.

So what do I do with that as an eighteen year old?

And also maybe I'm being influenced by mom being influenced by these aunts, Like there's so much context that we don't have. But I will say the responsibility is always with the adult.

So the stepdad. A.

I hope this stepdad had a conversation with this daughter leading up to this moment the stepdaughter leading up to this moment.

And B.

I would like to know that this person is capable of being a bigger person and at least having empathy for the complicated situation that all step children find themselves in I.

Understand, but I just want us to have empathy and understand that if a man raises a child as his own pretty much since they're four months old, and you make putting somebody on your insurance and your health insurance, that's that's that's a different thing. Like you don't just putting people on your health with dying every insurance like these are these are real things. So you you're paying like you're you're you're paying a lifetime bill something that

I one hundred percent believe that he had every right to have his feelings hurt. He just shouldn't have taken that action. And the reason I keep saying that the onus is on the adult. Like children don't immediately understand all the sacrifices it takes to raise them. Do we understand what paying somebody's car insurance and life insurance is?

But both of you, I'm sure in.

Your older years you were like, oh man, now I understand what it was like for my mother to do this, this or this.

Yeah, you know what I mean.

But at eighteen, I didn't. I didn't have that perspective.

I didn't have that So this this, this stepdaughter one hundred percent should have invited the man that raised her. And if she was sitting right here, I would say to her, you've got to find a way to honor your your feelings about both dads. At eighteen, she doesn't know how to appreciate car insurance. She doesn't know how to appreciate.

But it's a good segue into a broader conversation around you know, when you're dealing as we're talking about men's mental health, and man, I mean just on social media alone, it's a whole mental health situation. Like they I want the whole Internet to just shut down for a few days.

And I wonder about this idea of you.

Know, parent co parenting or parenting stepdads and families. And you see so many men, especially when you're coming up on Father's Day, saying that they don't feel appreciated or they feel like everything is about the mother. And you know, I think I saw somewhere that the number of like the revenue for Father's Day is so much lower than it is for Mother's Day. And you have so many men who's like, yeah, get your socks, and and it's like a joke, Like my cousin wrote something on his

I think it's both.

Actually I think it is a real thing, But I also think that men don't always know how to ask for that thing that they want, and they don't know what always know how to be vulnerable and say this is how I need to experience your love, and this is how I need to experience that you care about me. So children don't always grow up knowing what to do. But one of the things I often talk about with my client is funny. I just had a conversation with a client yesterday who is a dad and in a

Like you didn't.

You didn't have that child hoping that you'd get a watch for Father's Day. You had that child with a much bigger picture and our reward is watching our children and particularly young boys, grow up to be the kind of men that we can we can respect and value and know that the type of children that command respect and on some level, like we've got to just parent through the life cycle and understand it was never about socks in the first place.

I know it's tough when you don't get a pair of socks right, because when you that's why I can identify with the man right even as a stepfather, but as a father, real father. You we put so much emphasis on making sure that the mother is satisfied on Mother's Day, cater to infraction. Somehow there's just this level of disregard for Father's Day. Like the people they just

But I think it's deeper than that, my son.

I think I think men traditionally take on the role of provider, and this is a byproduct of being the provider. Because if all childhood you are providing for the home that includes their mother and you are not the recipient of providership.

You are the provider.

So when it comes time to take care of you, that's just not how the system is conditioned. Now I'm not saying that's right or wrong, but I'm saying this is a byproduct of being a provider.

It's a byproduct of being a provider. And do you think vulnerability has something to do with it as well? That you know, uh are you say you're breaking up? You know that maybe, like you said, they haven't been taught because a man is not necessarily bringing up that. Hey, I would like to have, you know, people celebrate me for my birthday for five because it's not just Father's Day, even birthdays and other special days. You have a lack, if you will, of interest the same way that it

Absolutely, I think I think men, in particularly Black men, perceive vulnerability as a showing of weakness. So a lot of black men won't advocate for themselves and won't say, Hey, my birthday's coming up in last year, y'all got me socks. I would really like it if I got something that showed me how much you value my energy, effort and time and just Most men don't say that because they'd rather be perceived as I don't need anything because I'm the provider.

Yeah.

Yeah, So anyway, we went down a rabbit hole that was never our intention, but it just, you know, it came.

I'll say, I'll say one more thing before we un rabbit hole, and I'll use my son as an example.

I've always I've been a fan of this.

Dude from his rap days twenty years ago and as i've gotten to know him more recently, Like, my son is a very strong, principled man.

Why so is it fair for me to call you that?

Yes? It is.

And I saw a video of.

You one time where you did not like Nike's response to Kyrie Irving and you put all of your Nikes down an insiderator yep, And I was like, like, this dude truly stands on what he believes in a very principled way, and I respect that about you, even if you stand on certain principles that I may or may not agree with, like the fact that you live how you talk, and you talk how you live.

I would be willing to bet if as a father.

If my son only gets socks every birthday in every father's day, but observes his children growing up in an equally principled manner because that's the role model that they watched, he would feel successful, successful and valued as a dad. So that's why I say, I think that we need to look at it in a much bigger scope.

Like our blessings and our gifts come differently.

Right, exactly, And.

That's because our responsibilities and our roles are different.

So thus what we get is different.

Like we can't really say I want to be treated like the other parent when your roles and responsibilities within the dynamic are different. But if we raise a child in this case, I'll just use a son as an example. And you know, twenty years from now, my son is in his sixties and you know, growing older, and he observes his son holding his morals and principles and values in the way that my son role modeled for him, that would be far more.

Valuable than socks.

This is true, And I think that's the purpose, and that's how we get rewarded. And quite frankly, we can't expect the same rewards when our responsibilities are not the same, is true.

Yeah, that's going to be the title of this show.

More than Socks, that's what we're gonna call it. But more than Socks is Mental Health Awareness Month for men, And would love to just hear from you. What have you been doing this month working with your clients? How are you honoring Mental Health Awareness Month for men?

Mean, you know, people.

Ask me that every time it's Mental Health Awareness Month or Men's mentalth Wedness.

People ask me that, And for me, it's not really any different.

Like this month.

I have been in the I've traveled the world and in the past like three weeks, I've been in Poland, I've been in the UK, I've been in Canada. I've been in Durango, Colorado. I'm now in Los Angeles. I've been in Gosh. I can't even think I've been in all these places because mental health drives everything that I do, and that's not changed by any particular month.

That's not changed by any particular day.

Every single client has my cell phone, I respond to their phone calls and text messages because mental health it's part of everything that I do. I decided to make this my life, and I live that as if it's my life, every single day, regardless of whatever month it is. So what do I do the same thing I always do.

There's black people in Poland, and they're black people in these places that you've been traveling to.

Absolutely, yeah, there are black people in those places. But also something that's very very important to me, I exist in academic spaces where there are not a lot of black people, and I think it's very important that black students see the black man given a keynote at the predominantly white conference, so that they know there are no spaces where we can't go, and there's no spaces where we can't influence, and there's no spaces where we can't

I think it is.

Incredibly important that young black students see that there is no space we cannot go and have influence.

That's amazing. Do you have a therapist?

No? Not currently?

Not currently? Okay, Okay, I want to ask a very controversial question. Oh shit, okay, because you know how I follow you. So I listened to you, and there were people coming out talking about Cassie Yes, and you made a post and you and people were saying that she was complicit and this and that, and you made a

Well, it's funny, bro, if you ask a controversial question, I'm going to give you a controversial answer, probably, But what I tried to explain to people is I got really irritated because I saw a lot of people attacking Cassie. And for me, it is irrelevant whether or not Cassie got paid. It is an irrelevant whether or not Cassie was using Diddy for a music career. None of that gives him the right to assault her.

Number one, which is what is alleged. Number two.

Is there are a lot of people are who truly believe that like a woman deserves certain treatment.

And I want to say, I am.

The child of a person who watched an abusive dad not treat his children or wife. Well, there's a psychology of how the women are controlled in that environment, and unless you like understand that psychology, you really should just be quiet, because, like I.

Think you don't get it.

Like I watched an interview one time with and Jay Z referenced in one of his songs where Farrakhn said, like, you should be quiet too.

I think it was Wallace in.

One of the interviews, Mike Wallace.

Right, and he was basically saying, like, you don't understand the thing that you're saying, so.

You should just be quiet.

And how I felt about this dynamic is unless you understand the power dynamics between abuser and abused and how control is initiated and kept going, then you don't understand why Cassie didn't leave.

So and there's no justification.

I don't care if Cassie was using him for money and opportunity and everything else.

Some of the things.

That are alleged do not give him the right to treat her that way.

So that was the point of my video.

Now to answer my songs question one hundred percent, like mentally healthy people don't do the things that Diddy is alleged of doing. But here's the controversial thing I'm going to say, So, yes, I think did he had mental health issues, and he probably had those mental health issues long before he became the person that we knew of

I e.

Power, It's very easy to see how people lose the boundary between what is mine and what is not my Hm.

Wow, that's interesting.

I mean definitely, I think some mental health stuff was there, and I think that the defense has already attempted to make the case that he was, you know, all high often, very often, and therefore not necessarily in his right mind. And we've argued this many times in different circles. I mean, you know, well, and I don't know if you know this, but you know, I love Puff very much. I have a good relationship with him, and he has always been very good to me. You know, I've never ever witnessed

What I'm saying. And I mean, as long as we're honest about it.

I think that because when our young people are watching us, when kids are watching us as they grow up, they hear what we say and they see how we act and how we react. And when someone that we don't know does something, we are automatically This is kind of like a question you could just jump in, but we are automatically like, ill, there's an X on you because you are a person that either I don't know or

Or why didn't she leave? Well, why didn't this happen? Or that happen? And I don't know about all the other things. I think we will see what a jury says about sex trafficking or what a jury says about coheression and extortion and this and that and the third. But the abusive side, which is not what.

He has been indicted of, by the way, it's not him abusing Cassie, is not there that part. I don't understand how people are debating that. No, I see, I'm not talking about you. You know you can't cause you. No, I'm talking about I see people online who are like, well, she might have done this or that and the third.

And I feel like that may.

Be because we have this contradiction of if it was happening by someone else that we did not know or appreciate for whatever reason, we'd be really pissed about it. But when it's somebody we do know a half familiarality with, we can make excuses for them.

Well, we have a tendency.

There's this thing in the psychological world that's known as confirmation bias, which means if I have a positive feeling towards you and I learned something negative, I have a tendency to disbelieve it. And if I have a positive feeling towards you and I and I hear something positive, I have a tendency.

To believe it, or vice versa.

If I have a negative feeling towards you and I hear something negative about you, I tend to believe it. And if I hear something positive while I think negative you, I tend to not believe it. But the important thing

And I was not always this person.

And that's why I know that what you're saying is true, because there was a time in my life where I was, you know, not living at home with my parents when I should have been, and then I had no money, you know, so I was kind of like living from pillow to posts, as they say, not listening, not being respectful, dropped off the school, and so it put me in situations where people were able to take advantage of me because they knew this girl doesn't have her shit together,

That is absolutely correct and Narcissists are always looking for targets. Narcissists don't have relationships, and again, want to be clear, I don't I do not know m to be narcissists, but that's one of the things on the short list i'd be considering. And they always always look for targets, and you're not a great target. So it's not surprising that you would say, well, I always got treated pretty well because outside of the target, most people would say, oh,

Uh.

And because none of them really lined up as targets, so they don't get they don't see it.

And see me and my son and I argue this one point that because my son knows a lot of guys who work for Puff, they have they were like raised not by him, but like, what would you say in the environment.

Since since ninety eight, I used to Mace is a close friend of mine that been around I know a lot of his security sad personal like people that were his personal assistance, assistance. So I've seen different elements from ninety eight until now, I know, and a lot.

Of people and none of them, I mean, with the exception of Mace, because he said the man's evil and dis.

And I mean, I'm not understand from him suicide. Yeah, with the exception of Maze, they had their own personal situation and it was finance. It was based on finances. It wasn't based on you know, a lot of the accusations that's dealing with now. But for the most part, they haven't seen this level of him, you know what I'm saying. And a lot of them have like, well,

So say so, I.

Mean, that's what the accusations is, but that wasn't what they were saying.

Yeah, the way they project in other words, but my I mean, I hear what you're saying, y'all don't have to translate it. But for my own whatever is that the media made it seem like it was just any party you went to because people would actually say that to us and to other people, like, oh, you was at a ditty party, So it was a freak off because in their mind, you walk through the door and immediately in order for you to be here, you gotta

Yeah, So, but anyway, and think about the way power exists, Like.

If I'm aware of the other life as you put it, and he is Sean Colmes and everybody loves him and they love his music and they love his work, and he donuts to charity and.

He does this, does that, and I accuse him of something.

It is very often that the woman is not believed, and most women live in a world there's like I'm afraid to say anything because that person is very powerful. So all I can say is and this goes back to what you were saying to Meka, like I wish the internet would just take a pause. And part of the reason I wish that is people overvalue their opinions and think they should be able to share them about

Well, how do we say that, because we don't live with the judgment of a whole lot of things. We get upset. We say that black men are being railroad. And now you see that this issue with Tyler Perry has come up. And I don't know if you read the all the slides, because I read all the text messages in the.

Slot, and I you know, you know it was some some funny business.

I can tell that you know clearly this was a relationship that's outside outside of.

The buying the bay the excuse me.

This was a relationship that was outside of the boundaries of a work employee relationship. And I keep telling everybody that I work with, everybody that will listen to me. People probably so tired of me saying over and over again that you have to be very careful when you're the boss and you work with people and the types of relationships that you carry on with people, because it

To take it.

In the moment you touch it, you are the one with the power in that situation.

And I keep telling people that, but nobody wants to listen to me.

But you do have this element of folks who are like, well are Kelly and now Puff and then of course Bill Cosby and then now here we go with Tyler Perry.

So all the.

Big time, very successful black men seem to be taken out around sexual things, harassment, rape, things like that, and folks are not willing to accept that.

They just like this is even if they don't like these people.

Right.

Well, I want to be I want to be really careful, make sure I express myself accurately.

Here.

One of the best things that you can do to protect your mental health is mind your own business.

That's that's a good one, Yes it is, but it's true.

It's absolutely true.

If I want to be a mentally healthy person, I got to mind my own business, which I think is harder to do in today's eight then it's ever been before, because I have access to more of stuff that is not my business than ever before.

But I have to I have to recognize it.

If I want to have a healthy life and take care of my own mentality. I've got to learn how to mind my own business.

And drink water and drink.

Water and you know, exercise whatever. But like, just mind my own business. Now connected to that, I don't have to like the system, and I can oppose.

The system, but in an individual basis, I don't know what Tyler Perry did or didn't do.

I don't know what he said or didn't say, so I'm gonna just not judge that. But I'm not unaware of the pattern that black men seem to be targeted once they get a certain level of wealth. And I can say I oppose the system that seems to be targeting black men, but I don't know that that specific black men didn't do exactly what's allegedly I really don't know there.

But how do you reconcile those two things when people feel like they're constantly attacked by the system, And now here we are in a situation where one after the next after the next, it's like they dropped like flies.

I mean, what was his name, Cuba Gooding?

I mean, is every time you turn around, it's one of us, even even Elliott, even.

What's his name? The one from the movies that.

You know, As far as I'm concerned, he was over there trying to protect himself from that woman.

What's his name?

Oh gosh, that was just In Creed, Yeah.

The one who who who is in a relationship with Megan Good.

Oh yeah, yeah, major.

Look at what happened to him, like you know, and every people will have their own opinion, but it was very clear the man told the lady leave him alone, He got out the car, he ran from the lady.

Yes, did she have bruises?

Yet she did, but nonetheless he they got into whatever they got into, and like my son says, top relationships, shit happened. And then on top of that, then he gets away from her and now somehow he becomes like he loses everything right as a result of that. So I'm just saying it's kind of hard for people to

Making me upset.

But when I turn around, everybody was having such a good time that I said he had go negative Nancy want to go over to the DJ, and the DJ is into it, like, yeah, they doing I don't smigny not and everybody's having a good time, and here I go negative Nancy finding my way to the DJ booth to say, please, don't play R Kelly. I did it the first night at Sylvia's. The DJ looked at me a little bit like what, and I'm like, yeah, we don't play R Kelly.

But as every day went on, it's kind of hard to always be the one.

But I don't want R Kelly played at my parties. I don't listen to R Kelly. I don't want to

Yeah, no, I agree with that, and I don't think all these people did all these things, and they all should go to jail for the rest of their lives, and they all deserve advocation winning if there are improprieties. But I want to go back like again, So let me bring up confirmation bias. One of the ways that racism works. Let's say I have a bias against black people, and as a consequence of that bias, I don't look at my song and see an upstanding, good person.

And then I see my son in a video with a woman running from him.

It is very easy for me and my negative bias to believe a negative thing about him. So when someone then says my son was being inappropriate with that woman, that's how the system works because there's a negative bias against black people in the system. So black people end up overcharged. They end up frequently charged when non black

Soan, people would want to watch that.

But if I said I got a secret video somebody running from mister Rogers, They're probably not as interested because they know the bias doesn't exist and people have a hard time believing.

So we have an unfair out.

Here, that's what you're said. We black out here.

Yeah, we black out here, and we have an unfair responsibility. But that responsibility is still there, and that is I have to be very careful with how I live my personal life.

I have to be very careful with what I do.

Like, can an average person send inappropriate text messages.

To their employees?

Probably because nobody cares.

But if I were sitting there talking to Tyler Perry, I would say, if you want to say these things, go over and say the things to the person. Yes, because you text them, you're giving evidence, and that evidence will be devoured by the world differently simply because of you, who are a black man.

We're gonna wrap it up.

But I just want you to just on as we leave for Men's Mental Health Month, give just us black men, Well, I give us just one piece of advice to deal with this, all these things that we have to deal with every day, understanding the dynamic understanding that we black out here. You know, give what would be just a piece of advice that you can give just every black man for Mental health mon.

Fight. That's what I would say.

I would I would tell every black man to fight on the battlefields with which they're capable of fighting. Fighting an advocation leads to hope, and fighting an advocation leads to change. So I would say, advocate, push, push the boundary. It's like my way of fighting is. I am a black psychotherapist, and roughly ten percent of all psychotherapists are black.

The way that I do that.

It's in the way that I dress, talk, walk, act, It's in everything that I do. One of the ways that my son fought is he made sure he was aligned with a basketball player and he doesn't wear Nike anymore. But whatever your battlefield is, make sure you fight. This world is not fair to us. It is a threat every single moment of every single day, and we have to we have to fight. And in that fight, we also have to understand that the best way we can

There you go exactly.

So they got a more ideal candidate and Rosa Parks who intentionally did what she did, and then they use that as an opportunity to stage a boycott. Now what they don't tell you is that all started because the bus companies raised their prices by a penny per ride, and they knew the predominant population using the bus were black, so now we got to pay more to be treated poorly. The black people said, no, this is not going to work, so we're not going to ride on your buses.

The bus boycott lasted.

Over a year, and in that time, the church community created car pooling to make sure black people could get to their appointments and to their jobs and those sorts of things. There were three bus companies in Montgomery, Alabama when the boycott started, and two of them went out of business, meaning they would rather go out of business

So we think of this as like, oh, this.

Woman got really tired and she didn't sit on the bus and the bus company decided to change.

That's not true.

We gave economic punishment to the bus companies for the way that they treated us, and that's what led to change. So, if you're going to tell me what's one thing that I would have say that black men in particular need to do, it's fight because in the fight is hope that the fight will lead towards change, and the most powerful thing in any journey of mental health is hope. So everyone needs to fight on the battlefields with which they have access to. My saw, he has a large audience.

That's right.

You the man Elliott Elliott Connie Man, I tell you you guys, make sure you tap into Family Therapy, his podcast on the Black Effect pac podcast Network.

He is our sibling in this space.

And you know, we appreciate our brother Charlemagne of God and all of the team members there at Black Effect Podcast Network for giving us a platform to be able to share information and topics that some people might not find to be the what is it, you know? The trend the trending topics. Listen to what we're talking about. It is absolutely trending because it's trending in our lives, and mental health awareness is trending, as you said, Elliott, every single day. It's not just during a month for

You should call.

Up to the White House and say my name is Elliott Kannie, and I don't support you, but I feel like I can help you. You need my health for real, because the brother is in trouble. I mean seriously, And you know I was thinking the other day is that I think presidents get held hostage right by their own team members. And because it's very clear that like when he comes out and he says, well, we can't really continue to deport the farmers, and you know, we got

They just want you to have the stuff that looks like you have success. And so he looks like a very successful man.

He's got Trump International Hotels, he's.

Got all of this stuff. These people they think he knows what he's doing.

And guess what, he knows that his businesses will not work without the population that they are trying to destroy in this nation, and that is the immigrants that make up a huge part of the workforce in America. And but you know what, he can't just go off and do and say whatever he wants because he promised all these people that he was going to help them fulfill their agenda and now he's stuck having to do it

But let me be.

Quiet, all right, Thank you for coming to my ted talk. Elliott Connie.

You know I agree with every word you know, and I would love to call it what I wouldn't say, I support you, but because I don't.

You don't I said you don't.

I don't support you, but no, I don't support you, but you do need help. But again, narcissism would be on the very short list of things I would be thinking about it.

Why I would assess.

Him too, that's full circle.

Yeah, so it's.

We live in a really difficult world. And I think it's hard being black out here. I think it's hard. I think it's hard being anything other than a sis gender white male and I and I think we have to I think we got to fight. Like I really mean that, like we I mean fight is a strong word and it evokes emotion, but I really we'd have to advocate. We have to stand up, we have to do what we think is right, and we have to bond together. When we bond together, we're essentially unstoppable. In

Shown that up.

And on some level, I almost don't care how big the barrier or obstacle or oppressive attempt to put around my people because we have a historical history, we have a pattern of overcoming everything put in front of us. So all you're doing by doing the crazy things you're doing with Project twenty five is you're giving our future selves a story to tell because we're going to overcome this too, because that's what we always do.

Absolutely well.

I just hope that we don't perish in the midst of these people's wars that they're creating. But you know, like you said, even that will be okay. It's good to see you. Everybody needs an Elliott Connie in their lives. So get you an Elliott Connie and you can go listen to him at Family Therapy on the Black and Pect And you can go listen to Elliott Connie at Family Therapy on the Black Effect podcast network.

Yeah, thanks for having me. I love y'all so much.

I support everything that y'all do, and the voices that you guys are for black people is incredibly powerful and.

Impactful, and I hope you guys always know that.

So when I say fight, I think you guys are great examples of people who advocate for what you believe in and always do that.

Thank you. That was good. I mean, listen, here's the thing.

He is, like what I like about Elliott, and there's a lot of there are people who they do one thing and that's all they can talk about. It is like one thing that you know, whatever, if it's if it's therapy, that's all they want to talk about. If it's politics, that's all they want to talk about. With him, you can go from politics to mental health to hot topics of the day, and he's able to sort of cover the gamut.

And so that's why I like talking to him.

I spend a lot of time listening to the things he says and trying to get his take. And like he said, we don't always agree, but I agree with him more than I don't.

Agree with all the time.

He's very sensible and he's very descriptive, right, and he breaks things down to where you let me like, he doesn't leave room for you to be like, well, what it's like he's very good at what he does.

Yeah, he is so, but you know, and he's also mature. You can always lived through some life, you know, and that's important. I mean, I think even with us, like when we're talking about things, sometimes people may not get it.

Yeah, that's true. People don't always get it.

And it's like you will, you know, but we have to learn that because we've been ahead of our time.

On issues all the time. And then then next thing, you know, everybody's saying what we already said.

Yeah, it's very strange. That brings me to my I don't get it. I have I have two I don't get it. Oh my god, to one of them is gonna be really quick. I just don't get anybody that still is a Trump supporter, like, I just don't get it. It's at this point you deal with mental health. You're dealing with some than that you need. Elliot Khanni, you

I know, Tom can't we My you should not say.

No, no, we can't. We can't help anybody that right now. If you in your home, you're like Trump Trump, you are dealing with Jim Jones Colt like mentality where where you might drink poison and jump off the roof because you just don't even realize where you are at this point. So that's just my first I don't get it. My second, I don't get it. It's a little more logical. It's serious.

Go You saw the protest, yes.

Literally saw the protests like now yeah, and they were standing in front of Chick fil A and they refused to let people in. And it's like for me, I would think that if you come to a community as a corporation, organization, franchise, you will want to respect the

You A day or two is not enough.

It is to notify you that the thing is gonna be shut down because we're giving you a whole day.

I just said a day or two is not enough. It doesn't I think with you know me, I think about process. So I would say that people need a lot of time in order to know so that they can prepare themselves and just know what they have to do. However, it doesn't matter if they found out.

Two days before. Repebody else is doing it.

Respective community should be.

But you know a lot of times some of the people and I don't know if this is inappropriate to say, so I'm apologizing from the gate, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, because we used to say this. But it's a lot of things we used to say. We can't say no more. But a lot of those folks are foreigners. They like the owner or the managers, the people who run these businesses, they're not really from here.

Is the manager's supposed to call a corporate office and let them, but the.

Corporate office is automatically getting ready to tell you that they don't observe.

Because that's not true because every other this what I'm trying to tell you, have every other franchise that close their doors. And I know the people in the store. They don't have the authorization to say we're not we're gonna close. No, they got the word from them, Okay,

To Chick fil A since you shouldn't eat it nowhere.

I mean, I don't my kids like to eat it, so once in a while I'll buy. But now when they be like Chick fil AaB like nah, they don't respect Malcolm X, so we ain't. We ain't going there.

Well, here's what I'll tell you.

I agree with you, and I think that they got one protest, which is a warning now. And I don't know if folks want to wait all the way until next year, but they probably will to see if these people do right next year. But you can't forget about it. You have to make sure that next year it's clear. Okay, let's see what you're gonna do, and the next time, if they don't do it, it got their warning.

They don't do it the next time.

The whole it has to be you can't even eat at that particular store.

It has to be closed. You can't stay there.

That you take a page out of New Era Detroit's book, where they don't they're like your doors in our community. I think that's I agree with you. I was just saying, like we should make sure they are. They have now been informed a year.

They have demed.

But but you know, the turnover in these places, the ownership or whatever. It's a franchise, so it's not like the corporate office has but so much jurisdiction over what the local franchises do. Like the franchise, you know, there's a rule book. There's a rule book that has you know, certain things that they know. You can't have people if the whole company shuts down on Sundays and says you can't open yours on Sunday. But you don't necessarily have

Don't go on the target list.

Now, oh well there's that shut it down.

And with that said, we've come to the end of another episode. We appreciate shout out to our guest today, Elliot Khannie extraordinariy psychologists.

Will you He is a psychotherapist psycho therapist.

He is an amazing individual, Like he's so cool and every time I see him, he always gives me love hugs and you know, it always gives me my flowers and I give him his He's a dope dude. Once again, continue to follow us. Let us know what you like, let us know what you don't like. Give us ideas about guests that you want to see. Let us know some topics. Tell us you love us, tell us you hate us, tell us anything. Make sure you follow us at tam Underscore Show on Instagram and on YouTube. It's

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