Fatherhood Brotherhood

Justice for Pam Turner, Justice for pam Ala Turners. This woman was killed by police in Houston, Texas. She was She suffered from some mental health challenges. Officer lived in her community, knew her. I think there are reports that he had encountered her in the past. She was out doing what she does, you know, often, walking the community. Everybody knows Pam Turner was one of those women that you might see out there taking the garbage out. Maybe

sometimes she might actually be rumbling a little bit. You know, she had some challenges. Officer approaches her, she they get into a little conversation back and forth. He tells her over and over, you know, not he tells her, she tells him over and over again. I don't want to be harmed. You know, I'm pregnant, which I think later on they found out she wasn't, but she was trying to appeal to his morality, you know, trying to tell

him I'm pregnant. She didn't want to be harmed. He tasted her, and while she was down on the ground, he got on he stood on top of her and shot at the death um. And so Pam Turner died because a hateful man decided to take her life for no reason at all. And we are fighting for a justice for Pam Turner. Shout out to Ben Crump, family attorney, also miss Miss Turner's daughter and family members, her sister.

They're out here, they're struggling on her behalf. And just weeks ago we went to Houston along with the Just All Our movement folks to be with traded truth uh and stand with the family of Pam Turner. Definitely did man, So justice for Pam Turners. Turn What made you get

up today and put your Pam Turning? I was. I was going through my closet right, you know, trying to because I always want This is our podcast and we should be branding things that we represent that we own, you know, God's work had on, you know, shameless plug. And then I looked and I've seen this T shirt. I hadn't one. It was still in plastic, and I was like, you know what, today's the day. You know,

I just we just celebrated Father's Day. And and that's always a good thing, you know, even though we don't really get much. But you know we we ain't gonna talk about that. We're talking about that later. But anyway, I found my Pam Turner shirt and I just wanted to say justice for PM Turners. So we got justice

for Pam Turners for sure. So there's a lot that's happening. Um. And you know, I feel like, you know, now we're we've entered this sort of freedom riding hot summer where we're now beginning to pick up the steam of protests around the nation. Tomorrow we'll be in Washington, d c. Um, you know, until Freedom and other partners will be there dealing with this filibuster issue, ending the filibusters so that we can actually move some legislation through the federal government. UM.

So it basically is it's it's basically a delay. It gives power to particularly the Republicans to delay the process. And have you ever seen them on the floor where they're like talking for hours and hours and hours and hours. The most simple way of explaining the filipbuster is to say, it's a delay. That's that's the that's the shortest way to describe it. It's a delay. And if you ever watch where there when you see uh legislators speaking for a long period of time and they're just like standing

on the floor, they're basically trying to obstruct progress. And UM, I forget exactly how it works between the Democrats and the Republicans, but I do know that the Republicans use the filipbuster to be able to slow down and delay progress as often as possible. It really sort of throws the government into this this stalemate process, and um, it needs to be removed. It's there's no reason for it. There should be votes, We should have people voting on issues,

voting to pass laws and moving forward. There should not be any process in place that can slow down progress or gives you the ability to obstruct justice, because that's what the feel of us to currently does. Then most Democrats are for getting rid of it, but you of course have folks like Joe Manchin and Senators Uh Cinema who are saying that, well, you know, they're not a hundred percent in agreement with ending it unless the GOP,

which is the Republicans, agree as well. So they want everybody to be on the same page, and we're just not in that. We're not in that space. And I think, and I think that's what it is to me, right, you know, I think most people are losing faith and what what government even is not even just individuals, just

the whole state of what government is. Right when you when you can have something like this that can purposely just delayed progress, right, when you have people who who have been in Korea, politicians and they know that this process has never been everybody on the same page, it's never been coomed by young right, And then you hear and these are the same people that are supposed to be with the party that you supposed to be progressive.

And now when we have an opportunity to do something that's progressed to you need the people who have been stopping progress to agree. It makes no sense. So I think people are starting to see that, right, And that's why I say we need something different. I think you know, and then the Philipbuster. Philipbuster is definitely one of the

first things that's really important. It's very important to see the other thing that they can do with the Philipbusters, like they enter all types of motions, you know, again delays, uh, you know, coming finding all kinds of problems with the legislation, um serving this motion and that motion, just delaying and exactly that it really it sits on someone's desk and it never really moves because the philip Buster was was designed to sort of like stop things or to dis

imagine being imprisoned and somebody and you're waiting to go to trial and they and they're able to do that. I mean, it's not on that level, but I get you just think about it, because it's not level is a different thing, but it's pretty much the same because people's life hanging the balance of these bills that they won't pass. So while we wait, we're fighting to get just basic civil rights bills passed that you block, and people are dying. People are losing their life, they're losing

their finances, they're losing so many things. So it's yeah, people are dying. The blood is still spelling, and so I agree with you. You know, the Philipbuster needs to end. And so tomorrow when we go to Washington, we will be one addressing that, protesting to end the Philipbuster, to

push especially the Democrats to do something. And then also there are other issues passing the George Floyd Justice and Policing Act that for us is not negotiable and we wanted to pass as it currently stands, rather than it being a watered down bill. So you know we're gonna be This summer is hot. It's time for us to get back to the energy of last summer. People don't people got their vaccinations. The world is opening back up, and there should be no reason why we're not hitting

the streets. And you know, I was thinking, because that's what I do. In my thought of the day, I was thinking about this idea of June teach and realizing that there are some folks who are really mad at people like me. I don't know your position on on it.

We haven't really talked much who are not impressed by the fact that there is a Juneteenth holiday, you know, I want to say, and I did alive on it um the next day after it happened last week, after the uh the holiday um was passed into federal law. You will um you know where people I did a live explaining why I said, I'm not impressed. And there was some folks who were like, when you say you're not impressed, it's disrespectful because there are people who fought

to make this happen, you know. And they named particularly one woman, miss Opal, who is someone who let them move. Meant to get um, the the June team to be recognized. And obviously we understand the history of June teenth, this

when black folks became free. When when people in Galveston, Texas who didn't know that they were free from when we originally supposedly received emancipation on June nineteenth, that's when they learned that they actually was still being held in bondage with the word didn't get to them that they were free. We know that, and we understand that June tea is important. And to your point is we're not

freedom right? Well, I mean, but we can move about the world, right, and so and and and and if you compare today to what they were experiencing, oh, certainly there's progress. Right, So we all we all respect that. And I understand a thousand percent why people would lead a movement to get that day recognized, because at the end of the day, right the first step towards anything is an acknowledgement of wrongdoing. So we all support that.

No one is saying that we don't appreciate the work that was done by Miss Opal and others who have fought hard. And I know for sure they didn't just want a symbolic day. They wanted an acknowledgement so that we would know who we are, where we come from. Our children will understand the history of black folks in this country. So we would not think that the fourth of July was our Emancipation Day, because it is not right.

And so I understand that they they they were working to get this holiday put in place, not because they think this is the end of the conversation around the enslavement and oppression of black folks, but so that we have a new beginning, a new conversation. But some of us said, and so when we say we're not impressed, we're not talking to the advocates who worked to get the holiday. We're talking to the people who passed it who are disingenuous. Is because you won't pass the Voting

Rights Act. You won't secure voting rights in this country. You won't pass an anti lynching bill. You won't pass and hate I hate crime bill. John Kanye is died trying to get a racial profile and bill in place. You won't pass the George Floyd Justice and Police and Act. Not only will they not pass it, they're trying to block it to the point where they want to roll us back to what I think is the sixties and even beyond that, even before that. Okay, that's that's what

we're up against. And you and and so that. They said, well, these folks have been fighting all their lives. Well, John Kanye is for all his life. Guess what John lewis for all his life for our voting rights to be secured. And we're losing them every single day. Okay. Brianna Taylor died while they were out here. Uh. You know which, by the way, it's still happening with no knock warrants and other forms of policing that is harmful and dangerous

and abusive for our communities. Uh. Eric Garner died being choked to death. Uh. George Floyd died with officers me and his neck. We got names of people who have given their lives for this struggle. And so what I'm saying is acknowledge the day, celebrate the day, have our black joy as a resistance method and as a as

a revolutionary act, have all of that. But for me, I'm not going to be impressed with the holiday until I have the accountability match with the holiday so that I can look at it and say, they gave us a holiday on whatever whatever the date is, June of two thousand and twenty one, and this holiday signifies that we've actually turned the page and then we've actually made some form of progress. So no, I'm not impressed. And in the in the words of my dear sister, our

sister Leah Daughtry, Bishop Leo Dartry, that's nice. That's nice, you know, thank you to appreciate that. But we want some real stuff done. We want some real things done so that we can celebrate the holiday knowing that you can't say we won't be killed, we won't be harmed, we won't have to deal with racism. But what you can say is that somebody's gonna have to pay for it if they do it in our communities, because damn it June nineteenth is a great day, a great holiday

that we can all celebrate together. And meanwhile, on the way to your celebration or back, or if you Brianna Taylor, you could be dead in your home on the same holiday, and guess what, nobody's gonna give you a damned piece

of justice for it. So no, I'm not impressed. I'm I'm glad that there are some folks who see this as a milestone, and God bless them, and keep fighting for us, Keep fighting for us, keep doing the work to make sure that their flag is raised, that people know we're at war and what our people have been through, because we've been harmed, we've been abused, and we have been in this country for over four hundred years experiencing an oppression that nobody else has ever experienced on American soil.

So keep doing what you're doing, keep fighting for us. When I say I'm not impressed, I'm not talking to you. I'm impressed by the work, the struggle, and the sacrifice of our elders and brothers and sisters who are out there sounding the alarm on our behalf. But I am not impressed by some, particularly white men, who are sitting up in Washington, who have struck justice every single day, deciding to sign a damn holiday in place and give it to us and say, now, on this day, go

eat some stuff, dance. We're gonna give you some damn uht off at this store. We're gonna give you a few things to make you celebrate and drink away the the the real truth of what we're doing, which is to try to take you back to at the same time when June nineteenth had to be granted to you in the first place. That's how I feel about it. So no, I'm not impressed, have mercy, and I can still say happy holiday on June nineteen. I have the right to feel both things. And we need grace for

people to be unimpressed and celebrate at the same time. No, I mean, that's the truth. Listen, you just you sound like a Baptist preacher in here today. You just look, she listened. We don't even need to talk about that is what you call thought of the day. She from the router to the tutor about this man. She feels some way. And let's right, man, we need real We don't need symbolism, we need activities, we need policy, Biden. We need policy and everything that it encompasses. So listen,

June teeth is nice. Like she said, it's nice. It's nice. It looks good, but make it feel good. You know, I'm tired of looking good. Make me feel good. Get that. What's her name? Holly Berry and Moss is going Now, this is funny. Holle Berry was talking about something else I'm talking about, Yeah, but not halle Berry. Come on, now, let's get it together because people, you know how people get. We did the comments to be the only chi like Hollie Berry and Master's Boy. You know what's going on

in Marsters, No champion, make me feel good? Okay, she was talking about something completely different than I'm talking. I'm talking about policies and laws. She about somebody's draws. I'm not talking about that what I'm saying, So no, h's the truth. Before we go to the next segment and have our special guests joint, we're gonna take a quick break for our sponsors. That's so in keeping with this

idea that we're still celebrating fathers. We always celebrated black fathers on street politicians trying because I'm a black father. So we did celebrate you. So you know, we talked about how great you are as a father, this is true. And then also to the community, there's so many young people who look up to you, So we're still celebrating fathers. That and in keeping with that, we're being joined by one of our friends, of our friends, that's a that's

a that's a brother. He's still because the fame is that we've got so many friends across the country that do such amazing, amazing work. And I appreciate you for allowing me to introduce him today because Jeff Johnson is someone that I consider to be a mentor, uh, someone that I have been for many many years looking up to and looking to for advice about strategy and how to maneuver through this crazy movement that he knows all

too well. UM. I first learned earned of Jeff Johnson when he was the director of the Youth and College Division of the nub A c P, which is a position that Jamal Bryant, Reverend Jamal Bryant, our friend, um and brothers you said, also had. And then Stephen Green, Reverend Stephen Green, who's one of our friend and he's our until freedom. UM, I won't call him a baby

because he won't appreciate that. But he said, well he's yesterday at an event he actually said that I was his elder by far, So I will call him one of the until Freedom babies today. And then Tiffany Lofton, who is one of our colleagues dope organizer. The Double A CP has produced some of the absolute baddest young organizers in the country. Um, I think about Stephanie Brown, James and now Brother Wisdom is running then a CP youth in college the business. So Jeff comes out of

that tradition. Um, he's a commentator, radio personality and influencer. Uh, he won't want me to say a celebrity, but he is. And he is a brilliant organizer and now leading men thrive and so and he's a dope father ape that might be a T shirt. Yeah. If the Dad gang already has they got a dope dade. Okay, all right, you see, look you know all about the dead. But thanks Jeff, thanks for coming on this show today. Of course,

thank you. I mean you all are you all are friends and I don't I don't I like you all. Don't throw that around like and um we've been in this a long time, and there's just certain people who you know that whenever you call or they call, they always answered. UM. So I'm just I'm forever thankful and grateful for who you all are in this work, uh, and who you are in my life. So when when you hit me and say come on, I don't even think I checked my schedule. I'm just like, let's go

appreciate that. We definitely appreciate that. Man. Just just just watching you over the years, man, and I watched how fatherhood just changed you. You understand, I'm saying, like I watched you just always be one of the greatest speakers of all our time. Educated and always I'm looking on your shows and just tune into your social media and

just get guide into certain things. But I remember, and we actually probably and I don't know when it was, but we had a conversation about how being a father had had changed your perspective about life and it probably saved a lot of different ideologies and things that you thought you change becoming a father. What is that process? You see? My son is that I was never in the public space, not as a father. So so my daughter was born, Madison was born, Uh, four months after

I started working at the a CP. So by the time I was on Rap City, which is when most people got to know me, I was already a thirty year old dada too. So i've I've never really been in the public space and not been a father. But to your point, um, I think fatherhood if if if, if you're doing it in a way that makes any sense at all, reminds you how the difference between, um, the difference between moving to create pleasure and moving to create legacy m hm. And and so I never got

everything right. I don't get everything right now, but but being a father helped me recognized with real clarity the difference between legacy movement and pleasure movement. And there's something I think too, to my son's point, because there are a lot of people who don't know that we had children so young, you know what I mean, And so they see you with your newer children and it's like, oh, wow,

you know, now Jeff has kids. Will know actually, Jeff's had kids probably for as you said, as long as your you know, public career, um, you know, and as long as people have known you. But there is something about having children later in life, uh, that I I do think it's sort of shifts your perspective from when you have them and you're young and you don't really know anything, and they don't know anything, and y'all don't know anything together. When you have the smaller kids, you're

trying to approach it from a different perspective. Yeah, you know what's funny, the perspectives already changed. So I mean you're right. When I had Madison a twenty six, I didn't know ship. Uh. I'm just like, can the rink get paid? And can I not kill her? Kay? I'm winning? Um. You know when when Baldwin Garvey was born, I was. I was in my forties, and so you know, my wisdom was different, my revenue was different, my thought process

was different. Um, the relationship that I was in with my wife was different than the relationship I was with my previous wife. And so there were all this this maturation that it happened, and so too, I literally tell um, Madison, Miles and Maltham like, don't hate your brothers, like they just got a better me than youall. And and what I learned being a father with you, the joys, the pain, the mistakes, the triumphs at all have maybe a better

daddy for them, and so they get it. I think on most days sometimes they'll be looking like, damn, dad, you ain't never do that when we was killing But but um, but it is a blessing. It's it's such a blessing to be in this space and be a father for the first time again. Um, because I just know so much. I didn't know how old is your youngest child? Two too? Wow, I remember that. It was terrible too. I tell people all the time, at two years old, they trying to kill yourself when your job

is to make sure that they don't know. You know, it's crazy. They are trying to discover the world and like with with no limitation myself, Like brother, I will sit there and watch them move, and I'm like like, Lord, please please help me not mess up this life us because they're not supposed to stop. And my wife I had to teach my wife. I'm like, this is age appropriate defiance. Like if you got a two year old

who does everything, you say something wrong with him? Like something is wrong with a two year old that does everything because they're supposed to pretend like they don't hear you, and they're supposed to break stuff and throw stuff and figure stuff out and kick stuff. And they're supposed to be overly emotional and whine and cry and get angry and and of course we're supposed to parent them through that, but that's naturally what a two year old energy is

supposed to be. And so I really they have taught me something like I now have a mantra where like every day I want to have childlike joy at least once a day, because I watched them operate in a level of joy that often confuses me because I'm so busy trying to figure out how to fix stuff and create stuff and make stuff that I often deny myself

that joy. And so I have learned so much from their joy about joy that I gotta make sure exists in my life when we think about the community, because then it's like, now you're twelve years old, you grow up, and I would like to see that young black boys would still have that joy. But now you get to school, you get to other places, and you're operating within systems that are trying to stop you from realizing you know

your greatness and and and seeing the world. What would you say is the approach that educators and administrators need to be taking to to continue to allow that defiance to blossom in to the greatness that our young people can actually display. Yeah, I mean, listen to me. I don't I don't even think it's just about defiance. It's like,

let them be who the hell they are. And that doesn't mean that that doesn't mean that there aren't rules, right, and to some degree we were, so we're so concentrated on order and controlling people that we destroy what they were put here to do. And so I think it's parents, I think it's teachers. I think it's administrators. I think I think we have to realize what spectrum is. And so whether we're talking about autism or we're talking about dyslexia,

kids exist on spectrum. And so we're busy diagnosing and labeling that we're not dealing with the nuance of our babies. And so kids are gonna exist on a spectrum one way or another. And as opposed to spending so much time saying, well, now something's wrong with this kid because they've been diagnosed for this, and now they can't do a B, C and D or now this kid has been diagnosed and that means she is this, and now we're creating judgment around what she's gonna be able to

do with her life. Just recognizing my my, my oldest son, Myles, has dyslexia. And I'll never forget when we got the diagnosis. And maybe six months after that, we ran into Mr bel Fonte and we're at a we were at an event for kids with dyslexia because because Yale runs this event and and Mr B has dyslexia, and so he was like, it's this the boy And I was like yeah, And so he pulls him aside and like, I need

to have a conversation with him without you. And so my Miles is probably nine years old, has no real clear understanding of who Mr B is at all. And when I asked him, I said, well, what did he say to you? He said, he told me that I have that dyslexia gives me a superpower and I just learned what mine is and and it was so empowering for him. But I think every kid is in that space.

It's like every kid is in a space where they have been told or they have been convinced that something that is really natural to them is crazy to other people. And if we would stop telling kids that there's some yellow brick road to success or some narrow road that if they travel this road that all these other people have traveled, that they're gonna make it and start individualizing that give them have a unique gift and they have to uniquely identify the tools that help them get there.

Then whether it's defiant, um, whether it's questioning, whether it's activity, whether it's whether it's uh, you know, solving problem solved, whatever it is, we would be getting out of these babies way helping them actually do what it is that they were put here to do, as opposed to convince them that they were put here to do something else. Before you, I just wanted to to chime in on that thought. That and I talked about it all the time, um, because you know, I of to talk. That's something we

do together. We talk all the time. When I was young, I was punished a lot for talking. Um. It was actually the thing in school that would keep me in trouble and I and I wasn't just a talker, but I recognize injustice and so I would speak up on behalf of other people. I would speak to the conditions

of the school. I attended a Catholic school in which, um, you know, there was clearly a difference between the way that the Latino young people, especially young girls, they had longer, prettier hair, they were treated differently from us as young black girls, darker brown skin girls, um, you know, who had the sort of pigtail look. And I used to say things about it, and they found ways to marginalize me and to use the fact that I was so talkative as something to tell my parents so that I

would stay in trouble. So the discipline, if you will, at school was rough, and then I would get home and my parents would punish me over the weekend because they had to to pay me back for whatever I was doing in school, and it made me miserable and probably very rebellious to where at twelve years old, I

started running away from home. And the conversation that I've had with my parents since then is that the thing we thought or they thought, was, you know, you know, it was problematic about me ended up being what now has shaped who I am as a person. Um. And so I agree with you so much about individualizing individuals, and you know, we call people individuals, but then we want them to act in a pack. And it doesn't.

It doesn't work that way. And I think if folks had been more like if perhaps if they had found me a debate school, perhaps if they had, you know, allowed me to be the one to do the announcements every day, you know what I mean, giving me some job that allowed me to speak rather than trying to suppress my voice. It may have actually helped me. But you know, I still did it. I still talked too much behind whatever I think it's I think it's it's perfect.

I say that all the time. I said, your gifts are the things that come so natural to you, you know, and when you have when you say what you just said. Your mother actually acknowledged that at your party. She was like, you know, the children who give you the most, hell, those let them do what they need to do. She said, those are the ones that are gonna go off and do great things. And I realized the same thing in my life. But I want what I want. I'm gonna

bring it back to this. I think black fatherhood is so important right and when we look even when now when you go they have a lot of commercials for schools where they want black teachers black male teachers, because there's not a lot of black male teachers, and I realized there was one. There was there was one black teacher that that really pretty much molded me in fourth grade. I never had any other teacher. And I remember one

day I was just in a school walking. He pulled me to this out and tell me pull your damn pants up, and he just put me to side. He said, you know, you know these kids look up to you. You know how influential you are. You know how intelligent you are, you know how smart you out here and you out here running around here looking like a fool and letting these people um marginalize you and pay us and label you as something that you're not. You You reflect me, and you gotta and you need to act

like it. And from that conversation, the way that I conducted myself every day after that, because I didn't want him to see me in a certain way and I wanted him to be proud of me, pretty much shaped

my life throughout the rest of my life. Every time I would do something wrong in school, I thought about this teacher's name was Mr. Johnson, So I wanted you to speak to what do you how do you feel about the the presence of black fathers, the presence of black men just in the community, whether it's your father or your father like figure in the community. No, I mean I I don't. I don't think we can argue

the importance of men in communities. I think the question for us, because we know we know when when men are in communities and and that there is a difference, the question for me is how are we investing in how brothers are in communities? And so I think sometimes we're so heavy to talk about presents that we don't talk about health. I know, you know, we we created a community called JOURNALSY, and JOURNALSY is taking the word

journey and legacy and bringing it together. So JOURNALSY is about, um, how do we honor every black dad's unique journey to create legacy for his kids. But the community is about health. I mean literally, I did an unplanned live uh two days ago, and a brother came on and said, you know, I'm I'm raising this two year old by myself, her mother's daughter. Her my daughter's mother passed away, and I don't know what the hell I'm doing. And not only do we have another brother who was alive and these

are just regular dads. Like I literally went on and was just like, I just want to talk to some dads. So this wasn't influencers, this wasn't dad influencers, this wasn't celebrity dads. Was his brothers at work, and and so he was like, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm angry. Sometimes I'm like, why did this happen to me? Um, there's certain things with her I don't know how to do. And I'm like, bro, like one, can I celebrate you

right now? Because you you didn't put this baby up for adoption, You didn't drop it off in your mind, and do you you acknowledge like most parents do that we don't know what Any good parents will tell you. They don't know what the hell they're going Any parents like I don't. I'm showing up at what I have because I don't know what else to do, and I'm

hoping for the best. But but we were able to connect him to three brothers who have been raising their daughters by their self because they either lost the mother in childbirth or the mother had a ray ease or condition. And I talked to him the live is two days ago. I talked to him this morning and he's like, man, these brothers are fantastic. It seems like an entirely new day. And I bring up that story to say, that's the focus for me, because I don't want brothers to be

present and broken. I want them to be present. And black men have the lowest life expectancy of any demographic in America. We've got the highest level of toxic stress, highest level of anxiety, highest level of of of increased suicide rate, highest level of certain preventable diseases, and as a result, we're dying from stuff that's preventable, but we don't even have the wherewith all to talk about it because what we've been told is manhood is shut the

funk up and standing there and look strong. So so yes, my sound. The more brothers we can have present, I'm with it. But can you imagine a world where black men show up whole? That's beautiful And so that's what that's what men thrive is about, That's what journalysy is about. Destre mentor that's what I was about to ask you. So that's pretty much what I've been that dude that was showing up and like I got to a place

and I know y'all been there. I got to a place where I was on the road for the mpteenth day, and I got a call from Myers actually, and he was like, I said, buddy, how you doing. You know, blah blah blah blah. He was like, Daddy, I just need you to come home. You come home, And and I mean, coming out of the a CP, I was probably in the worst place I've ever been. Um it was a place of depression. I realized I hadn't. I had been living this life of service and never serving me,

and so I was broken. Um, I wasn't who I was supposed to be. I was navigating crazy um character flaws that were being encouraged a lout of the brothers around me were a whole either. And so I'm I am. I am for my son brothers being president anyway, they know how, but I'm excited about brothers being holed. M M. Yeah, I mean pretty much. You pretty much sailed to deal

with that one. Being hold man. It's hard, you know, we deal with so many different things, and like you said, we've been told to just shut up and be strong, you know, So just unpacking that and re teaching ourselves something different. Man, it's really important. I'm in the process of doing that because I find myself doing that with

my child. You don't have two young sons, and a lot of times they'd be doing things and they fall and I'm like, you don't be crying, and then I have to pull myself back and say, that's not that's not really something I should tell them. Be emotional, have expressed yourself. I don't want you to feel like you have to put up a certain role or be something different, or be too strong like you know, you should be able to do those things. So I'm unlearning as I'm

trying to teach them, you know. So it's a process. So definitely appreciate men throughout. I mean, I want to get more in tune with that, you know, connect with you on that and see what we could do. I appreciate you though. All I will say, Jeff, is that the more you are able to help black men heal as you continue your own healing process. Yes, it's important

for our children, but black women need you all. You know, Black women need healed black men in our lives, and um, I think the work you're doing is probably the most critical component of what can bring the black family together. And I don't mean it so much in a relational sense in terms of husband and wife for spouses. UM. I mean it just the Black family. Is the grandfather to the grandchild, it's the granddaughter having a relationship with the son. I mean, all those things are so important.

And I believe that in this moment. I think that throughout history, UM, and I guess, I guess I don't think. I know that throughout history one of the most important tactics of our oppressor has been to keep our families split and to keep us broken. UM. Because once we recognize and realize the power that we have being a unit,

how how bold will we be? UM. And So it's something I look forward to and I look forward to even my own healing, because I am in transformation and I feel it every day, and I feel like I'm showing up better in space with my son, which you and I have talked about so many times over the years. What it's like to try to raise a twenty two year old when I also needed to be raised. UM. So I love you and and I'm so grateful for you, Jeff. Thank you for your work. Thank you for your sacrifice.

Thank you for your commitment. Know that it does not go unseen. Absolutely, but you before you go, we got to come back and talk about something you just said. Because the family is us, it really is the platonic

relationships between black men and women. We could get to the place where relationship goals, where more about how do black men and black women look at each other and say I want to create a relationship with them just because not because I want to hit because they look good on my arm, not because she can hold it back, not because she can cook, not because this negro can buy his ring, or not because he can drive this.

But I think about the relationship you and I have and it's like, I love you because you dope theory because you dope, no right and so, but imagine what we would look like if even the romantic relationships we were in were rooted in the fact that we got first because we each other was dope. That's that's the key to Yeah, that's the key to it. Y'all are both dope dads. Love y'all so much. Thank you, Jeff, Thank you for being with us, you coming back again,

definitely You appreci YouTube helping men thrive Jeff. Jeff is very inspirational. I watched just just watching him. See the thing is, you know, I realized that he had a lot of children. He got well, I realized that he had children before. But I think maybe it's the fact that, you know, social media got way more prevalent. And I started seeing him talk about the journey, you know, it was a lot, and I was like, damn. And he started talking about how changed and it even changed the

relationship with him and his wife and everything. So you know, I just I applaud him and just listening to the men thriving something that's because a lot of us men, we just was taught different. We was told we wasn't supposed to be emotional. We was supposed to strow emotions, were supposed to always be strong, and a lot of us were raised that way. And and when you start

to think about it, it's not even realistic. Yeah, right, part of the breakdown between black women and black men, it's of the things that we've been taught on both sides. I mean, you know, when I when I was growing up, my mother didn't say it because she obviously has an incredible husband, which he wasn't always incredible, but nonetheless he's a good man. Um. But there was a narrative that I heard from many older women, and men ain't ship,

you know, that's just something we were taught. You can't trust them. They all lie, they all cheat, and so

we carry that with us into relationships. So we're entering a relationship with trauma just based upon somebody else's story or what what what's being deposited in our minds, and so in state of emergency, one of the things that I thought was so important is to hire someone to help me with research, because sometimes we as black folks, and I don't know if other communities do this, but I know with us, we tell stories like tales to

make a particular point. And then later on you're like going around thinking that Jesus walked down hunt twenty five street, and it's like Jesus was not. He was never on Huntsway history. But that's something that made sense at the time that your grandmother said, if you know, because Jesus is down there walking on in twenty fifty and he gonna get you. And you're like, oh my god, can't you know You're thinking that these things are true, and

it's actually not. So I wanted to make sure that even the things that I believe I know about history that I was I was right, that I was right on point, and I learned in the process and unlearned some things. And one of the one of the issues that I told you about all the time is that towards um the end of the book, where I start to really get into some of the solutions, I talked

about police reform. And it just kills me that I used the word reform, because over the year that I was writing the book, I still believe that reform is what we needed and towards and now as I'm entering this new phase of my own development, I realized reform won't work. That it's you overhaul that transformation, overhaul, tearing down up what exists and rebuilding public safety with community at the center of it. And so but you know,

that's evolution, That's what growth is all about. Where we get in trouble is when we think we know and are unwilling to listen to other people. So I appreciate Jeff for saying we're healing, learning and growing together. Definitely, I definitely appreciate him. One of the fathers that I look up to. And the next person that we're about to have is also a father that I look up to a very you know, a brother of somebody I consider a brother. He's our friend. We got more friends

than anybody. But this is one of those brothers that man. I just I watched the way he moves. I love, you know, how stand up he is. I love the way that he carries itself as a man, the way he carries his family. And you know, he's always tintoes down. So this is one of my brothers. And he happies to he I mean, and he happens to be married to our brand expert, LaToya LaToya Bond. Yes, and this is my brother, none other than James Bond, the Bond Man.

What's going on? Everything good? Appreciate job, but we appreciate you. Man. It's funny because y'all you had Jeff here today and me and Jeff just went live yesterday. Yeah, we were just building and kicking it about the importance of fatherhood, you know, and how the neighborhoods and in the city kids really need that, you know, and not only the

in the city. You know, it's very important. Yes, sir, I was saying that to Jeff two, you know how important it is to have black men in prevalent in our communities fathers, even even if you're not biologically fathers. But there's a lot of men in our communities who people look up to as fathers, you know, and I think it's important that we get back to that. You know, So tell us about dad Ish. You know what made

you created? What is it is? I like the name already, but I just wanted there is the name for me, you know, do some of the little bit of down

to it. Yea. So reason why I came up with Dada's just because I've seen that it was just a lack of you know, like brotherhood, So I call it dad It's just the fatherhood brotherhood, you know what I And then what I try to do with dadashes link up with like minded fathers because as fathers and as men were we all have circles, right, So what I do is I come in with my circle and we get our circles together, which create a larger circle. And if we build the right way, that overflows to the

kids in the community, you feel me. So that's what Dadash is really all about. Networking and building and just giving back, you know, because as a dad, the reason why I do the things that I do is because I grew up without a father. So all the things that I missed out on is the things that I give to my kids, you know, and it's very important to me. So what activities of dad is like, what have you guys been doing? I mean, I've been watching

you on social media really building a movement. I love the networking opponent of father is getting together because one of the big arguments that my son and I have on a regular basis not just him, also um Angelo, who you know well, our partner until freedom. One of the biggest arguments we get into is this idea that women get together all the time working on women. So we don't need y'all to tell us what we need

to do, because that's what they do to me. Y'all need to do this, and y'all need to do that, and y'all need to know what you do to Yeah, well that's because y'all don't get together and figure out what y'all need. Y'all need us to tell y'all. We don't need y'all telling It's true because women do get together more than men, and they building, they create common

goals and then they attack them, you feel me. And that's another part of this where I reached out to all the brothers who I know, the young Dad's old days, because it's basically each one teach one thing. So what I do is, first of all, I'm from Halem of Coach ya know what everybody else don't know. I go back to where I'm originally from, where they know me

the best at and I started there. That's my grassroots, you know, and I just build with the brothers, like, yo, you could be doing something different, you know, with this amount of I mean, you could call it power, but it's just basically influence in the community. You could be doing much more. And I tell them, look, I'm a perfect example that we all come from the same place, you know, and that's that's what it is. That's the key to it, you know. And I try to do

the same thing. Go back to the community because for me, it's like why would I want to grow and evolve and be successful and have the people from where I you know, is that my lowest at stay there, you know. I want to evolve what people come back to the community. I tell people all the time A lot that the notion of leaving the hood is good, but you know, you want to go to a better place, you want

to live in it. But the key is to transform the hood to where it's something that's that's beautiful for you. You know, you want to I want to see everybody in our community thrive. I want to see these young brothers utilized, like you said, their influence to be, you know,

something positive, because it's it's easy to do. And when you start to realize it, you know, when I started realizing that the influence I have and the ideologies I have can be put to something more than what we've been taught about in the streets, you know, and when you apply it to something else that's that's legal and positive, the amount of success that you can have from it. I was startled. I couldn't even believe that because we

have only been taught that this is the way. You gotta do this, and you gotta utilize the streets, and you gotta go to this method. And as soon as I realized that the same ideology and the same talents that I have I can use to do something positive, I immediately did it. So Dad is when I when I think about what you're saying with Dad, is is influences and people of integrity who have you know, some

level of notoriety. Just coming together with this regular people everybody and just and letting them feel empowered and showing them how to utilize what they have to be in power game changes, just showing them that it's other options. You know, we don't got to be stuck in the

same ways anymore. There's so many optionss guys with limit and you know, with Dad is as you guys already know, we're putting together a tournament for get back I mean back to school in August, and also working on putting a retreat together for Dad so that we could get together. And there you go, because these girls are retreats. You already know. We gotta build and just playing the seeds, you feel me because without playing the seeds, it won't be anything. Yeah, No, And you know I think, Um,

you know you are our change maker today. We have a change maker, a segment in which we choose people who are doing really, really positive things within the community. Some folks are doing it on an international scale. Other people are doing it just on their block. Um, and I think all those things matter, and Dad is is

so important. I see this movement growing. I know the drive that you have and also the support of the strong black women who are there to help you um and and it's obviously a very very very important moment in our in in in just in in general, in our society, especially when we know that shootings are up around the country. People are dying, and they're dying because there's so much oppression and pain and so much lack to your original point, where folks are feeling like they

don't have. But one of the things I will say is that watching you with your daughter, watching you with Journey, is where I see the most of the of the of the let's see, what do I want to call it, it's change maker stuff. Man to watch a man and his daughter have such a bond and come together in the way with you, And I know because I have that bond with my father, I know other young men on the other, young women who have those bonds with

their dads. And I don't know if men, and particularly black men, understand how important it is for your daughter to know that her first love is her father, who is there to teach her the values of what it is for a man to be in her life. So I just want to salute you for that and thank you for the movement you're creating, because there is definitely a need. Yes, yes, sir, Man, we appreciate you. King. I always tell you, Man, you wanted brothers I look

up to. Man. Continue to be with you all man, Dad, is just something I see going far. Make sure we get these retreats going because we need to go out and just build with each other. Because these women got all types of stuff going on. Every time I turn around, they got something going on. They work, They working. Look, we gotta work. Well, listen, we working too. Let's work, man, Let's get it going. Man. I appreciate you, appreciate your love.

You keep doing what you're doing. The Bond James Bond Dad Ish Yes, Sir, shout out to James Man, James, these are just a great dude. You know, there's a lot of dudes, and you know it's hard, right transitioning from where we come from. I see a lot of brothers that I know have a struggle transitioning from the streets and then evolving into having seen principles and morals that we got from the streets but transform into something that's positive. They think you just got to be the

street person and stay in golfing that. And he's one of the people who shows you don't have to do that, that you can come from the streets and understand the ideology and still be respected, still be firm. That's what it is because a lot of people and respect every first of all American society. A matter of fact, the whole world is has been built off of the perception of power and respect. Right, well, you gotta have in order for you to have power, people have to respect

or fear you. And um, I think that for a lot of men, there is this feeling of you know, if I soften and or change, will it make me lose the grip that I have on whatever power is in my little box, whatever box I live on, my street, corner my house. So do I need to have power over my wife? Do I need to have power, you know,

on the corner and the hood? So I think, now, what what I'm hearing is that this is an opportunity to figure out how to use, as you said, the same skill set, the same talents, the same strategic thinking, but to apply it to how we're going to develop and empower our community. Shout out to James, and and that just brings me to mine. Don't get it. I don't get how any man would not want to be

your father to this shop. You know when when I hear or you know, hearing the desk because some of the stories and I've real you know, they are different, you know, situations in people's relationships, but they are actually men who father childs, who have had sons, who have daughters, who really want to be connected to their fathers, and they don't do it, you know, And as a father, just understanding how connected I am to my children, how just wanting to hear their voice, just seeing them smile,

just wanting to guide them through things, and watching how they just evolved. Like when she talked, when he was just talking about his child and seeing them do things and his freedom. You know, every time my sons do different things and I and I see them Jeff was talking about his his two year olds, said watching them and seeing them be so free and wanting to have that. I don't understand how a man would not feel so connected and obligated to be a father to their child,

Like I really don't get at all. Yeah, I mean, you know, I mean, I guess I don't get it either. Um, but there's a lot of it, and unfortunate, it's a lot of absent parents in general, and certainty dads. But the positive note is that there are many studies that show black men are re entering the home, that black men, especially those having children today, are finding ways to be

more committed and more present in their families. And I'm really proud to see your son, my son who has a new baby, really stand up and be a dad now hopefully to reak his best buddy doesn't go out and do the same thing. We're trying to keep him at twenty two, my child from having a baby because it's hard. You know, it's hard, And I think that's one of the issues is that. And again a lot of things, as we were just saying, it's been taught

over time. So one of the things that we learned, um, as black women or as men, is that it's mommy's baby, daddy's. Maybe that was a saying that you would hear as people were trying to encourage you as a young girl not to get pregnant. It's mommy's baby. Daddy's maybe, but that statement. But I thought the statement was about we

don't know if it's the demands baby. That statement or at least the way that it was given to me, it was about, you have no choice but to take care of your child, and you hope the dad will be present, but it's possible that he may or may not be there. For me, it was, look, you don't know who she even sleeping with, and you better go get your blood test to make sure. From the male perspective to the female perspective. But I know for us, we definitely learned you stuck with this child, and the

baby's going to live with you. The father can come and go, he can do whatever he chooses. But I think that's I think that's that's that's a two pronged situation because legally the mother is the primary I can't take of the child. Legal like, you have to go through processes for you to have the same rights as the mother all the time. It's not if you if a child is living in the mother's home, right, if both of y'all living in the same place, you can't

just take the child. No. But well, but so first of all, there are there are provisions in place or laws in place on both sides, because also the mother cannot take the child out of state and just move without out of state, but she can take it to somewhere else, and she's the primary chip. If you take as a father, you're both living in the same house, and you take the child and you go to the way,

they're bringing that child back to his mother. Well that's probably true, but they're still court proceedings that will take place. So for instance, I have a friend who I'm very close to, and recently that happened. Her nine year old daughter went to her father's house and decided that she wasn't going home because she's They got into it and

she was like, I'm staying with my father. Well when uh, you know, her mother got the police and went to his house to get him get her back because he wasn't willing to send her back, and a c S got involved and said, well, we can't just remove her from her father's home because her mother did not have any paperwork that says that she is the prominent or the dominant parent, not dominant, but the main parent, primary parent,

that's the word. Um, she didn't have that paperwork, so now they need an investigation to figure out is the child being harmed, this and that and now that little thing that happened. Unfortunately, has the child protective services in both homes on a regular basis over the fact that the mother and the nine year old got into it.

So it's the system. The lines get very blurred. But yes, the mother does birth the child, and therefore there's a lot of responsibility and also expectations placed on the mother. I'm just saying that because of the way it's framed in the world, because you know, sometimes you put things in the air in the universe and it sticks, and I think that there has been because it's so difficult

to raise a child. It's stuck somewhere along the line that the father is like, maybe you know, you can be there, but you can also go off and do whatever else you need to do in your life, and maybe you come, maybe you don't. And I think that's shifting because people are understanding that their children need both parents. There is no way that balance of two parents is

very critical, and it's not just two parents. You actually need two parents, grandparents on It takes a whole village to raise one child, so it's good to see daddish, It's good to see men thrive. I love these types of shows when we bring the brothers into the space because we always have powerful black women, but they are also great black men out there doing IMpower the whole things as well. That's right. So that concludes our episode.

Great episode celebrating fatherhood. Happy belated Father's Day to all the fathers out there. If you have a child, you deserve to be celebrated. Hopefully you got more than the card. Maybe somebody cooked you something. Probably maybe you got a little more than socks. Come on, woman, step up, gives his Father's Day. Look, I want all the types of gifts and jewelry and trips and all this stuff. Act

like Father's Day really exists. Were tired of getting the same old card that you wiped off from last year and you put the new you say, they do we want more than a hug. We were more than a hug for you know, for Father's Day. Starts stepping up, Step up, step your Father's Day. You know, thing up so we appreciate your game. Father's Day game, step your Father's Day game all the way up. Salute you dads.

We love you. We appreciate you. Continue to be great, and once again, I'm not gonna always be right, but I am now because today's probably day and we're gonna celebrate Father's Day. So fathers are right and Tamika is not gonna always be wrong, but we will both always be right. Thanks for the Street Politicians, the number one, number one podcast. Appreciate your number one Subscribe, Subscribe, subscribe, suscribe, hit hit the light button. That's how we owned it.