HIGH TIMES AT THE WHITE HOUSE

You have found the Titus Podcast Armageddon Update with hosts Christopher Titus, Rachel Bradley, and Ken Hyland. And now, here's Christopher Titus with this week's Armageddon Update. Hey everybody, I'm Christopher Titus, and this, for the thousandth time, is the Armageddon update. Well, of course, Elon was high the whole time. Okay, finally, we finally have a reason why someone would go...

full Third Reich and then watch ghosts and fairies fly in the Oval Office. This guy is just one large bank account away from this guy. And how many of us have woken up after a long ketamine three-day weekend, after decimating government services and screwing the poorest people in the country?

And we're told by our friends, dude, you would not stop heiling Hitler. So Elon's now gone and two trillion has been cut by the Doge team. We can do at least two trillion. Wait, hold up. Sorry. Actually, nothing was saved by the Doge team. In fact, as of June. 2025 doge has claimed to have saved 180 billion an analyst by the partnership of public service estimated these savings will actually cost taxpayers 135 billion

And that's just in 2025 alone. Other analysts found billions of dollars in misaccounting. And some of the money spent was spent at dispensaries. However, they have really cool merch. So the guy in charge of finding fraud and waste fired all the guys who were in charge of fraud and waste because he knew that, well, they couldn't find the fraud and waste that he could find. And then he spent four months finding...

Zero fraud and waste. In fact, of the 110,000 social security counts that they went deep on, they found two weird ones. Not 2,000.

Two. That's statistically zero. So once again, the Republicans took something that was working fine and shit the bed horribly. In fact, let's go over all Trump has destroyed in just four short months. You ready? Deported.

legal residents yeah not ms 13 like he said people here legally then denied the supreme court making him bring them back you know violating the law and the whole premise of america ICE is going into neighborhoods and is deporting mothers after they obviously Photoshop MS-13 tattoos on those mothers.

they went after our best colleges because they won't teach what trump wants them to teach you know which would be against the first amendment went after law firms that proved to a jury that sweet potato hitler was a criminal 34 times over in fact the only category

Trump leads as for presidents is in felony conviction. He gutted the FAA. Planes crashed. Gutted HHS. Measles is back. Cut the weather service. No more warning for tornadoes. More people dead. Cut FEMA. So no more help for tornadoes after. the tornadoes or floods or hurricanes or wildfires. In fact, why don't we just say no more help? Your tax dollars pay for that help, by the way. He gave Doge access to government payment systems and they cost us $135 billion with a B?

They also took women's rights and are arresting and jailing mothers who miscarry, you know, making women take a dead fetus to term, killing some of those mothers, you know, like Jesus Christ would do. stopped all federal grant funding, stopping infrastructure projects, stopped pediatric cancer research because, you know, billionaires kill children.

You Democrats better get serious. Stop writing strongly worded letters, Schumer, and say what is. Republicans kill children. They tried to end birthright citizenship, you know.

violating the constitution you say you love closed usaid the government program that helped us worldwide yeah it gave other countries aid so we had goodwill from those countries it was called soft power and it was cheaper than bombs and bullets oh and the medical and food aid saved lives because of usaid we were the good guys but trump stopped it all with

Afrikaner ketamine cowboys help. So now, not only did they open the door for our enemies to step in and take over in those countries, but around 300,000 people will die this year from lack of medical support and no food. billionaires kill children and the republicans in congress voted to kill children because republicans kill children and if you voted for these republican billionaires

You support killing children. Whereas the Democrats took them to drag brunches where they heard show tunes. You kind of see how that's a little bit better. I'm Christopher Titus and this is the Armageddon update. God damn, man. But you know what? That's it. Democrats, would you get some balls and just start saying it? Billionaires and Republicans kill children. They actually vote to kill children. Republicans...

Hey everybody, Christopher Titus, Titus Podcast. Holy crap, it's been a word week. With me as always, the lovely, talented, and brilliant Bombshell Ray. What's up, people? And with me as always, the also lovely, talented, and brilliant. Highlander. There could be only one. We have lost our fucking minds. So we now know. And you know what's weird is that everything happens so fast now that nothing sticks. Yes.

Just rolls and rolls and rolls. The guy that was in charge of everything, that was cutting government services and everything. Who was the president. High as shit. Yeah, yeah. Well, we knew he was high as shit. I think the first time, when did we first notice it, really? I think when he was jumping up and down. Oh, the inauguration was when you really. The inauguration was when he started seeing, as I said in the Oregon Update, when he started seeing fairies and ghosts. He was just like.

Yeah, yeah. On shrooms or whatever the fuck. What does ketamine do to you? I've never taken it. It's a horse tranquilizer. Oh, so he's trying to fight off COVID. Stop there. You don't have to say no more. Really? Back in the day, I don't know if it still is, but we called it Special K and people would take it at raves with- ecstasy and stuff. It's definitely a trancy kind of thing. It's a millennial drug? No, this is when I was craving. So trancy, were you just like...

Like you stand at the TV for like four hours and you realize, oh, God, I'm sitting here for four hours? It's definitely a sedative vibe. No, no. But I do have a friend that just was doing ketamine therapy. She got it prescribed and then she would lie on the floor. Well, she went to a camp.

but then after camp ketamine after k camp to do ayahuasca what is this camp they don't have a lot of schedule at camp ketamine no there was no schedule all right guys from activities tomorrow whatever when she first got there there was no AC either it was in California like Ojai area and she was like how am I gonna this is like a tree house and then

She was fine for the next three days. Like I never heard another word. Yeah. So we've got the highest guy in the world, Bill, richest guy and the highest guy in the world going into government agencies, slashing and burning. They found, as we showed them the thing, they found.

Buds, like marijuana buds, and all the doge guys went in at their workstations. The Institute of Peace. They destroyed the Institute of Peace. That's where they found the buds. That's where they found the buds, but also they wrecked the building. They messed the building up pretty bad. Water damage, roaches, rats. There's a fucking rave in there? What the fuck? You can't take a bunch of 20-year-olds into a government building and let them run wild. Yeah.

Then he did all that shit, fucked it all up, and then basically got fired. As Jon Stewart pointed out very funny, he gave him a key, gold key. Trump gave a gold key and he goes, so this is very, very special people. I give them out all the time, but it's for the special people. And Johnson goes, well, he had to go out of his way to go. You're not that special. I give these out to everybody. So.

We've lost our minds. So that story, this guy second in charge, that story, the guy second in charge, high as shit, to the point where his... bladder were shutting down i was gonna say that bladder and urinary problems occur in chronic heavy use would be a story 10 years ago. For weeks. They'd be talking about drug rehab. They'd be talking about all this craziness. And now...

All of a sudden, Joe Biden's a robot. There's another parallel. Sometimes irreversible bladder damage. Ulcerative cystitis. Well, we saw him yesterday in the Oval Office. We watched the video of Musk in the Oval Office, and he looks bad. That's when you reach junkie level is when you are going to the Oval Office to say goodbye. In your merch. Not a suit. Well, he's been doing. He and Trump in their own merch.

The day that the story breaks about your drug addiction, you still tweak in the Oval Office. And get into a fistfight with your dealer. You should see the video. We have a little clip of it. He's in the Oval Office doing this. Yep. Like that guy on the side of the road. That's another Nazi parallel. They were fucking high on- Yes. They were on meth, yeah. That explains a little bit more, too. It explains a little bit, but-

But it takes away all your empathy or whatever, not that he's already autistic, so he doesn't have any empathy anyway. But we are in a place where that story would last forever.

Then Trump retweets something. I think we're starting to understand that Trump doesn't believe this shit. He just does it to distract from what's really going on. He tweeted out someone claims that Joe Biden was a robot and a clone, a robot. Sorry, robot.

He was a Robart and a clone for the last three years. Did he say Robart? Like Jason Robart? No, I wish. Uncle Dennis calls it Robart. So we have now decided to take his – Uncle Dennis is an older 80. Yeah, the Robarts are taking over. So we call it Robart all the time.

to love the guy so he uh he basically said that joe biden was a robot and here's the thing was one of elon's robots because they don't they're not real they don't really work so is that what you're saying because biden was bumping into stuff So it's not a high-tech robot. It's self-imploding. It was an 82. You programmed it as an 82-year-old guy. So all these stories, I think what's freaking me out is, and that's why I went down to the Armageddon update of all the list of horrors he's basically.

done to the world people we helped and what we did is that i have this feeling that all the shitty does and people have been saying it is just to divert from what the real nightmare that's going on yeah it's also uh like sort of a reality tv method. It's just cost chaos, look for ratings, and that's his wheelhouse. He came from reality TV. That's all he wants. He just wants cameras. He just wants to make noise.

He's the worst president. They're saying now that he said he was going to do 90 deals in 90 days. He's done no trade deals. Canada hates us. How the fuck Canada hates? Canada doesn't hate anybody. Canada hates us. Mexico's pissed at us. The EU is pissed at us. We have to talk about what Zelensky pulled off this week. Zelensky pulled off. Good on him. Oh, man. How awesome was that? That he just didn't inform us? That's why he distracted. Fucking that's why he did it.

Because he looks like an asshole. Oh, from Russia. Wasn't he? Well, no, no. Trump too. Remember Trump had his uncle in the office and was just up his ass? You don't got any cards. I don't think you have the cards. You don't have the cards. Of course. It was an 18-month operation to get these drones. Did you see the pictures of how they got the drones in? They snuck them in to inside Russia.

Into their, near their buildings. In buildings. So basically, so when they did the roofs and then, you know, you do these studs and you do roof on the top and then there's a ceiling and then there's a roof, right? And then there's a space for insulation. Yeah.

They put all these drones in these little, not even something this big. They put all these drones, like 18 of them. And then automatic, and they were hooked to motors so they could remotely open the drone. Drones flew out and just destroyed the airplanes. And they did it for 18 months. So you got to understand what a great actor Zelensky is and what a badass he is. Trump's yelling at him in the Oval Office.

And he knows in his heart that, oh, we're going to fuck up some Russian airplanes. And he just didn't do anything. He's like, Mr. President, I don't have anything. You don't have any cards. Yeah, I got some cards. I got this ace. I got this fucking drone.

I got nine aces. Nine. There's only four in the deck. I got nine. So we are now at a place where I'm watching ice push people around. I'm watching people push back. I think we are at the beginning of whatever's coming. And people are not taking it. Do you see those people in San Diego back everybody out? The San Diego thing. is yet again hsi right it's happening a lot hsi are trained investigators and they're out doing crowd control which what could go wrong with long guns and full

Full tactical. Tactical gear on. They show up in full tactical gear to get some guys from working in a restaurant. An Italian restaurant that's very popular in the neighborhood. They showed up to get all the busboys and the waiters and whatever. All the MS-13 busboys. MS-13 has really lowered their standards. Remember when MS used to be the cartels in Iran, the world? Now they're working in Italian restaurants. And this is where we have lost our fucking minds. Is that...

He said from day one, I'm going after the gang members that are killing. The crime is out of control. They're killing and raping women and the murders are out of control. They're eating the dogs is what he said.

Now they're going into Italian restaurants and arresting the guy that's probably getting paid $4 under the table. What about the fact that Trump and the fucking GOP, their whole campaign, partly, was about fentanyl? Fentanyl's coming in. It's killing everybody. Fentanyl's everywhere. And then this motherfucker just pardoned the biggest fentanyl dealer. What the fuck? Oh, can I point out-

You and I have been doing this podcast for almost 15 years. Has it been that long? 14 and change. Wow. And we have made some predictions over the years that have come true. And I just think, tell your friends, people, because we'll make it up here first. We're usually right. I predicted Letitia James would be the first person to take.

Trump down, which she did. And then she got. That's all gone away. Yep. You actually called COVID months before anybody knew what it was or what was happening. I kept saying something's coming. I kept saying something's coming, guys. Something's coming. Last week, we made a whole conspiracy hour about Trump pardoning Diddy. It's not Pup Daddy anymore, James' name. It's Diddy Dirty Money. No, that's old, too. Oh, man. He actually said in the Oval Office that he will look at it.

I'll look at the facts of the case. He has to because a lot of that stuff happened at Trump Hotel. Trump Manhattan. And that being said, all the people, Trump loves celebrity. And he will, even if you're a shitty reality television star. real estate show, he will be. You're his buddy. Yeah, you're his buddy. So he will, yeah. You mean like he was?

Well, they're that couple, that couple. It's so funny. It was video of that couple he let go and they were, the guy's in the car and he's, they're laughing. Super cheese. Oh yeah. They're laughing. They're like, they're just, it's like. To have no humility. What is it? Like $35 million, they embezzled and bank fraud. And he just like, you're fine. You go home.

He did that to pave the way. Nobody does pardons like that in the beginning of their term. They do them at the end. Right. We did it so he got us used to it. He's paving the way to desensitize us. for his people to just pardon pardoning Diddy because he needs to because Diddy had cameras in every single room that's exactly right there's also he's creating a lot of chaos so he's like this is an opportunity to get away with tons of shit

So there's so much going on. He can just like, let me slip this in, slip this in, throw this in. He made, just so you guys know. $2 billion came from Qatar and the Saudi government for his crypto. He's doubled his net worth in the hundred and whatever days he's been in office. Doubled it. Doubled it. Literally, not exaggerating. He's now worth $5 billion. He was worth $2 billion. He used the presidency.

To rape everybody, basically. And no, and we can't stop them. And this is what I don't get. Again, I'm going to pitch this one more time. We need a fourth branch of government. Yeah. The bouncers. Grab your shit. Let's go. Clarence Thomas, grab your shit. Alito, you're not an American anymore. Grab your shit. The group of people that have to go through a grand jury, right? A grand jury? For what?

uh for anything so there's another there's a fourth branch of government called the bouncers basically if someone in government is a big enough criminal the bouncers hold hold hearings it's supposed to be us with the militia Right? But the militia are these dumb fat fucks.

With their fucking masks and their fucking Gadsden flags. Yeah, but no, I'm just saying that we need, that's what I'm saying, because the militia thinks they're supposed to protect Republicans. So they come in, they have a grand jury. They go, yeah, Clarence Thomas is obviously corrupt. Yeah, but grand jury Anaheim. sandwich.

Yes. No, and then the bouchers. Once the grand jury says yes, the bouchers walk into the Supreme Court. I know, but you know the thing about grand juries, right? They'll indict a ham sandwich. Like, give me more. Yeah, the bouchers go in. It's obvious. Corruptions, obviously, there's 10 examples of corruption with Clarence Thomas.

everything and money he's taken. They just walk into the Supreme Court. They go grab your shit and they go, you're done. 50 guys, full tactical, grab them, put them in. He goes in and then you have a hearing and we go to jail. He's corrupt. Yep. Yes. No, because all we do on here is say that due process is important. That's what I'm saying. That would be due process. And a secret grand jury would actually... That's not due process. Your trial. Yeah, but that would be... You're right.

We need bouncers. He'd go to trial after we got him out. You guys can't. After he went to jail? This is a brilliant idea. If it works in a nightclub, it's going to work in the government. I'm with you. I was a bouncer. But that's kind of what he's doing to people.

Well, that's another thing to the Supreme Court. That's what I listed. Guys, you realize that this guy basically was told by the Supreme Court to get all those people that you illegally sent. to an El Salvadorian murder prison, get them back. And they went, yeah, fuck off. Yep. Yeah. Do you realize that that happened? Can you imagine if a Democrat did that? They're running with the, what is it called? What's her name? It's like the Lacey something, Katie something. This bill. Was it a bill?

I don't know. They can send somebody out without due process. What's it called? It's called the Lakin-Riley Act. The very first bill I signed into law as your 47th. President mandates the detention of all dangerous criminal aliens who threaten public safety. It's very strong, powerful act. It's basically a War Powers Act. They use it to put the Japanese in internment camps. And it's from like 1789 or something.

or 1889 it's the war that's the one that the court said that he couldn't use but here's the thing They said he couldn't use it. They said it was illegal. And he still left the guys in El Salvador. This episode brought to you by Huel, which I had on my way here. And the bottle is in my car. Yes. I had the vanilla. The vanilla? I had some yesterday and Ken had this great idea. I put it in my coffee too. I was going to bring that up. That was a great idea.

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It was really good. It's kind of fluffy. Saw some news this morning, and you can bring this up. In New York, they are filing a case on election fraud. Hold on. Let's go back real fast because today is a little...

All over the place. San Diego. I mean, us. What happened was... HSI, which is a part of ICE, raided two Italian neighborhood restaurants that actually ended with federal agents using flashbang grenades against the local residents that were... protesting what they were doing but that's when i started that's the first piece of like first of all they had long guns they were all in tactical gear and they started dropping flashbangs and i thought

Remember we used to make fun of these countries. People would be throwing rocks at the cops. It looked really close to that. Everybody was filming. Everybody was in it. And the cops didn't know what to do. And nothing safer than a scared police officer. As we've seen in the past, that always works out so well. They're not trained for crowd control. They're very skilled investigators. And what they do is like international drug smuggling and sex trafficking and things like that.

But there's no excuse for us putting soldiers on the street. Now, if MS-13 and we were invaded by – they used this law. They said that we are at war with Venezuela because Venezuela has sent invaders to our country. That's why, that's the law invoked. The judge said it doesn't, it's bullshit. But what you guys, what they're doing now is he's getting it to, we are approaching violence.

like boiling a frog. You're just, it's slowly turning the heat up. Flash bangs were dropped. I watched the video. Boom, boom, boom. People were like, holy shit. And you see people turn and walked, ran away from it. And you could see the look on their face like. Wait, what's happening? We are not used to this. Other countries have had turmoil. Other countries have had, some of the Middle Eastern countries have had violence for years. They're used to it. When this breaks off, I don't.

I do not see a good thing. He's going to impose martial law. So last week they announced that they did a raid at an L.A. area underground nightclub that ended with the arrest of 36 Chinese and Taiwanese citizens. Citizens. Suspected of being in the country illegally. No, Chinese and Taiwanese citizens. Got it.

Those words go together. In April, they took around two dozen day laborers that were hanging outside of a Home Depot in Pomona. They, this week, arrested people outside of ICE offices that were coming. to renew their status legally that came to...

Ice to get. Follow the rules. Yep. They were actually not MS-13. They were following the rules. And the whole pitch was, let's get these people out that are like on the teat. The bad people. MS-13. But they're also like taking, they're a strain on our system. These people are contributing and they're here to work. They're at work. Just so you guys know, immigrants bring in $7 trillion every decade to the country and a trillion dollars in taxes. They actually add to the GDP.

It is pretty insane what we're doing, specifically based in a country that was founded, designed, and built by immigrants. The San Diego neighborhood thing, once the officers threw the flash... bangs at the neighbors who were unarmed, five federal agents armed with assault rifles, which my brother will object to me saying, but it's in the article. started approaching the crowd as the government vehicles reversed and exited another street.

unarmed there's a lady in a little pink skirt she had a pink skirt in like a turquoise shirt and she and little flip-flops and she's just walking towards in the end behind her is this dude chin strapped and I was like what is happening in America right now

uh also now marjorie taylor green and again guys can we not say big beautiful bill can we not talk like complete the big idiots like he does people don't talk like that right it's just a bill it's a budget Bill. Right. And news people are like. It's a bullshit budget bill. So Trump's big, beautiful bill to move through the bidet. Stop, sit, stop. And people are arguing against it, like leaving comments saying.

That's what it's called because he called it that. No, I don't give a flying fuck. He also said it was a perfect call. I'm a very stable genius. None of those words make sense or go together. Someone actually did a guy, a linguist. on and he was talking about how he uses semantics ever since day one. Yeah. Coming down the thing, Little Marco.

Sleepy Joe. It's like four or five year old. He learned, someone taught him that if you make fun of people and you put an easy to remember name, Big Beautiful Bill. And so, yeah. It's a bullshit. Everything is beautiful. He says it's beautiful. All the beautiful. And everyone else is a disaster. We have a beautiful relationship, him and Kim Jong.

So Marjorie Taylor Greene has now admitted that she also did not read the mega bill that she voted for. A growing number of House Republicans are learning more about the bill that they voted for, and they're not happy about it. She did not read it. Republicans kill children. And who could have seen that coming, what with her heading up the fart response team? Floor action response team. She seemed so smart.

I just love that they let that get that far. The floor action response team is here. Really? The fart team is on the floor, huh? Cool. Republican leaders with House Speaker Mike Johnson and his team wrote and rewrote the bill in the middle of the night and changed the reconciliation package repeatedly in response to private backroom deals. Quite deliberately, they then rushed it onto the floor for a vote before members had read it.

I would have said, hold on, I need to read it because they didn't want them to see what they did. And it worked. It passed by one vote. All these people have a threat over their heads with Trump, whatever he has on everybody. Trust me, he spent the last eight, nine years. You got to remember Epstein was. his best friend he knew how epstein operated puff daddy also knows puff daddy puff daddy did a lot of his freak offs in the trump hotel so you've basically got him knowing how

Roy Cohn was the guy who taught him. Roy Cohn was like, you have evidence on people, so you have pressure. So you put pressure on him. Yes. And you also got a bunch of people in Congress. He says, even if he doesn't have anything on him, like illegal or whatever, he goes, well, I've got enough money now to primary you. You're going to lose your cushy job with your $5.4 million or $3 million, whatever it is, yearly expense account.

But we've never had somebody like this. We've never had someone that was, I mean, at smaller governments, Huey Long, there's been some people in the past that were just evil pricks that used their position to make money and skim for themselves. But we've never had it like this. He's made people. He's made $2.5 billion in four months as president. We have adversaries giving him billions.

He's actually taken our allies apart in Europe. He screwed up the economy so bad no one can trust us anymore. With the tariffs, no one can trust us. So we're going to go, okay, the tariffs are off. Okay, good. All tariffs are on. So Mike Flood last week had a town hall meeting where he was aggressively questioned by the people that voted for him because there is a provision in the bill that would effectively prevent judges from holding litigants who defy court orders.

contempt. Well, that sure would come in handy for Donald Trump and his whole team. So the court can say you did something illegal and you didn't respond to us telling what to do and you're in contempt and they go, yeah, we have a law. Yeah, we don't have to. Mike Flood said that he did not realize that was in the bill that he voted for.

in that town hall. Also... How do you... It's your job. You have one fucking job is to read bills. You have one fucking job. This is going to sound crazy, but I'm happy. that these crazy people are actually admitting that they didn't see it because that is a common tactic. This isn't the first time that a last minute bill that's a fucking thousand pages long is changed at the last minute.

And people are kind of like, oh, I guess I got to vote on it. Nancy Pelosi said once we have to pass a bill so people can know what's in it. Something like that. It was like admitting that they do it. So Marjorie Taylor Greene. admitted that she had no idea. And she said she was being fully transparent. She didn't read it. And she had no idea that one of the provisions that she voted for.

says that it would block states from passing any laws to regulate AI for 10 years. She's now calling on the Senate to remove that provision that she already voted for. So they're thinking that AI is going to become sentient. You know, it kind of already is. Next year. Well, yes. August 7th. And that's the date. That's what James Cameron said. So, 10 years AI would have...

What I don't understand, I guess it's because Zuckerberg and all the guys, all the tech bros basically gave him so much money, they're telling him what to do. Again, this goes back to Citizens United, man. If you had just made it so billionaires can't give you as much money as they want, the people would still be in charge to some degree. Citizens United is responsible for Elon.

Elon Musk is all for Zuckerberg and all the money. I blame Mitch. I blame Mitch. I blame Scalia, but he's dead now. This episode brought to you by AG1. If you... Stop taking AG1. Have you ever stopped taking it for any period of time? I forgot for four days once and I was like, why do I feel so crappy? Yes. When I was moving, I stopped taking it and I started to crumble and become haggard. Did you have irregular poop?

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Like a dictator, Trump has planned himself a military parade, which he really wanted the whole first term. He really admired the one that he saw in France and the one that he saw in North Korea. Did France have one? It wasn't a dictator thing. I think he went like, didn't he go like for best deal day or something? And he saw a parade and he commented to Kelly that, oh, I'd really like one of those for me. So the guy who, I just want to be clear, the guy who actually avoided.

the draft five times that couldn't march in any parade he did have because of his bone spurs who avoided the military, who called the military suckers and losers. wants a military parade. Well, because it has nothing to do with the military. My computer is listening to me because it just put up a tiny little video of him in France with Macron for that military parade. Here's the thing that everybody needs to think about.

has mass firings going on at federal agencies, have personally experienced that he's cutting programs that help people that are... Children, people that are elderly, people that are ill. The foster system is what I'm speaking of specifically. Republicans kill children, yes. And he's doing deep cuts to many federal programs that Americans rely on, like Medicaid, Social Security, SNAP. Meals on Wheels. But he's planning a...

$45 million military parade for himself. For his small penis, yes. Exactly. 100%. It's on his birthday, by the way. What I can't abide by is... Because listen, scumbags are everywhere. You know, just go to any car dealership. Scumbags are everywhere. What I can't abide by is the people that continue to support him. Well, it's literally going to have... to be like HSI or ice shooting a bunch of people.

At the parade? No, I'm just saying that it's coming. Maybe, probably. Guys, I believe it's coming. Oh, you're just back on that. I'm watching news. Well, no, I'm just saying that. No, I'm mad because we now, again, have nobody standing up. The Republicans. Republicans are allowing children to die. Republicans and Republican billionaires kill children. Please start putting it in your head. And Democrats, start having some balls to start saying shit like this because it is true.

Bono was on Joe Rogan's podcast this last week, which is the weirdest thing. I was like, Bono's one of those guys, I think like Pete Buttigieg, where he's like, I'm going to go wherever I got to go to make my point. And he said... 300,000 people will die in the next year because of Trump's cutting all these programs in USAID. But that aside, so children are going to die.

Cutting the funding to Harvard is going to stop all the research. China is now actually offering the best brains in the world free housing. Free college to come there and bring all of our brain power that was going to Harvard to there and with unlimited funding. So now.

You've got this country, China, who is our adversary, who's going to take all the best and the brightest, who is going to give them everything they need, is going to suck their brains dry, which they're going to become leaders in tech, leaders in medicine, leaders in... And everything. And then we're going to be this third world country. And all it took is this one bloviating orange asshole. That's ridiculous. Some manufacturing is also considering moving to China.

on his birthday. It's dictator. Actually, the mayor has asked them not to use tanks. They're going to anyway. Estimating it's going to cost about $16 million to replace the streets after that. Also, he's created a... $1 billion funding deficit for D.C. And they're currently trying to pass a law that would roll back voting rights in D.C. But hey, we're going to come to your city and...

Do this parade on his 79th birthday. But also, I think it comes back to what you, he always does this. You're right. He does this, Ray. You said this.

He'll always do something that leads to what he's going to do. So to us, in America, we've never seen tanks rolling in the streets. It's like a really dumb version of chess. It's like checkers. Dumb guy checkers. But we're going to see tanks in the streets of DC and we're going to be like, oh, I've seen that before. When martial law is declared and tanks are on the street, we're going to be like, oh, I've seen this before.

Did you see that his lock screen is himself? Everyone. Yeah. He got off Air Force One. He's going like this. At himself. His own screen. And they're like, you have like five grandchildren and children and a wife who's a supermodel. Well, let's be honest. He's got to love himself because no one else will.

Well, he does love himself. And actually, it's being reported that his true social posts have spun out of control. He's posted as of Sunday. Washington Post analyzed it. He's posted 2,262 times to his true social page in 132 days. He's got to have, is there another, is there a robot Trump? That's 20 a day. He's auto penning his tweets. That's what it is. And we should take him out just for that.

Can you look up this election thing? That means that he's sitting on his phone all day. Right. Which is also a security concern. Right. But also golfing. How does he... But it also means everybody else is running shit. It means that this scum, this vampire, Stephen Miller, the worst economic guy we've ever had.

keeps saying this dumbest shit in front of Congress. We've got HHS secretary. He basically has went like this because last time he had to work, he didn't like working. So what he's going to, what he did is he showed up, he's going to golf and he tweets all fucking day. So we have a loser. inept, dumb president surrounded by a bunch of evil pricks and douchebags who are basically destroying the – I mean, if you think about it, I ask you guys in the comments, please put something he's done.

Yeah. Anything. Just put one thing. Just what has he done to help us? I saw a chart recently. And it's – what are they called when they get – the president gets these meetings and memos and they have to meet with their cabinet and all that? Cabinet meetings. Cabinet meetings. Okay. So – meets with a cabinet and he meets with... Oh, I know this one. Cabinet meeting. That sounds right. Look up the chart. It's something else. No. Biden had 90. Obama, like 70 or something.

Trump? All the time. 14. Yeah. They said they can't get him. They said they can't. Like he's seeing. They can't even wake him up and brief him on what's happening in the world. Yeah. Two a week, maybe. He usually, last time he didn't get up, they said until about 11 a.m. But he's up very late, as we know from Covfefe. This episode brought to you by True Classic. Great t-shirts. Great stuff. Great. They're great. We got some of this stuff. It's so good. It's all about...

Helping, I wear them, but helping. You steal them. I always buy guys, like this was a guy's sweatshirt. I come home, here's how nice to treat the two guys. First of all, I like them because like all the working end I've done with our other advertiser, FitBod, they feel great. They look good on me. They're cut different. They cut them differently. We are so used to having...

shapeless, shitty t-shirts in the world. Tailored where you want it. Tailored where they want it. Tighter on the guns. A little bit looser in the old... But I don't have that. I don't have... Bubble gut area. Not you, but I'm saying the average American male. They will hide a dad. If you have a little bit of a dad bod, they will hide it. No bunging, no stiff fabric. It's like this super soft. And you steal them.

Yeah, I sleep in them. Finally, somebody cares about men's clothes. Yeah, right. There is that. Definitely not disposable, cheap, fast fashion either. It's affordable. It's very, very... Low price. We all have shirts we go to on our drawer. When you get to that, when you're going through your day after day and you grab. It lasts forever. Good day. Yeah. Yeah. Good day. Yes. It lasts forever because it doesn't fade when I.

get them out of the dryer. They're the same color. They're the same shape. So you don't have to get rid of them. Like, you know, those. You know those cheap shirts you used to use like way back when for merch when I first met you? Like the curl? Like some of the edges would curl? What is this made of? It's like putting on a box, kind of like scratch it.

This is not that. They also have chino pants that he wears to travel. They have denim boxer briefs, all that stuff. So anyway, just try it. Forget overpriced designer brands. Grab these at Target, Costco. They have them at Costco now. I saw this. I actually went online to check out what they had. Or you can go to trueclassic.com slash Titus and get hooked up today. Trueclassic.com slash. Can confirm I'm wary. Can you look up the selection? Costco, though.

It wasn't by our people at Electric Election Truth Alliance. It was by another group they found in New York. The voting anomaly was so weird. that they brought it to court and the judge says there's a case here. Do you have it? Well, I was just reading about more dumb shit Linda McMahon said in front of Congress after A1. A1 is going to take over the planet. A1 is taking over. A1 stakes us? Briefings. They were called briefings. Presidential briefings. Yeah, there you go. Got it.

John Kennedy asked her, they were discussing funding for a program. It's a federal program for low-income students so that they can go to college. Of course, that's going to be on the chopping block. And John Kennedy asked her about this $1.58 billion he said was being spent annually on the program, which he then calculated as amounting to more than $1 trillion over 10 years.

She nodded and agreed. I'm sorry. 1.5 billion turns into trillion. When did everybody start throwing the word trillion around? But then, what Trump- billions trillions they're giving us they're gonna bring five trillion to our economy it took a democrat from rhode island to jump in and fact check both of them on their math he said i'm it's jack reed i'm not a great mathematician but i think you were talking about one trillion i believe one point

25 billion times 10 would be 15 billion. That's a little off from one trillion. Yeah, that's a tiny bit off. It's a little bit, it's like so much money. It's enough to buy the world, I think, 15 trillion.

She's super dumb. Yes, she is. She's super dumb. But then again, here's what he did this time. The first time someone gave him advice, you need to surround yourself with great people. So he did. And all those great people were like, this guy's fucking nuts. And then he went, no, no, I'm going to eat people way down. When talking to Chris Murphy, well, hey, her husband ran a worldwide wrestling federation. That's valid. She, through osmosis, learned how to teach.

Do a suplex? Fight naked. Put somebody in the wreck. Another instance, Chris Murphy. I like him a lot. Connecticut. He was talking to her about Title VI of the Civil Rights Act, and that would be the act. the title that bars discrimination on the basis of race, skin color. national origin yeah like in the civil rights she said that's the statute that's allowing the trump administration to try to force harvard university to hire more conservatives

How is she? Okay. All right. So we knew she was going to be dumb, but wow. Please look up the election case, New York. She knows a pile driver, though. I'm on it. I just want it. I like when people are dumb in public. And that's why she married me. What do you want to know? Election case in New York. Because they're basically saying if this is found to have. I hate when people say they. They are saying. 2024 presidential and Senate results called into question.

Rockland County, New York. Who's saying that though? They filed a lawsuit. Who's they? A seminal case questioning the accuracy of the 2024 presidential and Senate election results in Rockland County, New York, is moving forward to open court. In open court last Thursday, Judge Rachel Tanqueray. That was my college nickname. Carl Ketamine was also a friend of mine.

is moving forward in open court. She said she's in the New York Supreme Court ruled that discovery must proceed. Oh, shit. Pushing the lawsuit brought by smart legislation and the evidence. gatherings. gathering stage. The lawsuit seeks a full-hand recount of the presidential and U.S. Senate races in Rockland County. Her name was Tengue. Tengue, yeah. So this is not being reported on nationally. No, it's not. This is only being reported on, I would like...

to say right now by News Channel 6, which is WJBF.com. So you do understand. It's seeking a full-hand recount of the presidential and Senate races in Rockland County. Because here's how far. If you guys listen to us, you guys understand about Election Truth Alliance. You understand that the anomalies in 20... 2016? No, 2020 and 2024 were really weird. So they found out that there's one county where Kamala didn't get one vote, not one.

Impossible. They found that there was another one of the person that was up for center in the district literally got 75% of the vote. It's not as possible. Well, so this is good news because that means that if one. pops up right then the other ones can go oh well we need to take a look at these other ones yes so this would include many voters have now said face to face smart legislation which is part of smart elections is the plaintiff in the case

Voters have written sworn statements that they voted for the independent Senate candidate, Diane Sayre. Who got no votes. She got no votes. Also in the presidential election, the anomalies include multiple districts where hundreds of voters chose Kirsten Gillibrand for Senate. but also where zero, not one, selected Kamala Harris. That's the proof. Yeah. Holy shit. Yep. So why isn't it being reported nationally?

Because the people that currently run all the media in America are owned by billionaires. And what do billionaires do? They kill children. Ketamine. And ketamine, yes. They kill children and ketamine. I am filming my special on October 18th at the El Portal Theater. That's more newsworthy than this shit. It may move, maybe? No. It's going to be a big, beautiful...

No, it's not. Don't do it. Don't do it. It's not. I mean, it is, but don't say it. 6.30 and 8.45 because I'm going rogue on Showtimes. Huh? Because of the 45? Huh? Yeah. What are you, an improv now? Yeah. On Saturday, we're going to do 7-15 and 9-37. No more 7 and 9. Oh, I should have made them like 7-12. Yeah, like really odd numbers. 9-13. Well, Benson used to do 4-20.

already show up 4 20 in the afternoon yeah well there was a reason i know but i'm just saying i like that uh this episode is brought to you by christopher titus's all-time favorite thing ever FitBot. Oh, man. Can I tell you? I don't know if it's favorite. I have a love-hate relationship with FitBot. Because FitBot, it's like having an app that kicks your ass. Hey, I need to hurt. It's not like that. You do moan quite a bit from that workout.

Morgan, our niece, will go, he's making the noises again. Yeah, I'm lifting weights. You're dying. Well, not everyone moans when they lift weights. You know what I love about it? And I want to bring this up. I was working with it this week and last week. So last week. It totally changed my workout and my leg day was brutal. And then this week I was like, okay, it's going to be bad again. And what it did was it totally switched the exercises to what I was doing. I know that it.

kicked your arse that's what i know because there was whimpering happening and then immediately within a couple of hours when you came down the stairs i was like stairs I was like, no, stairs suck. Stairs are horrible. Highlander left his foot on during the podcast. It's important. I'm sure it's the president or something. He has a child. Yeah, you were already tanked, and you said your legs were shaking already really bad.

And it was because it knew, okay, so what it knew was, I had taken six days between leg days. So what it did was it knew and it was like, hey man, here's what's going to happen now. It's like a real trainer that was like, hey, you weren't here. The last time we did legs was six days ago. Do you notice how often it... rearranges or is it every week it rearranges it?

Because that's a good technique. It's always different. Yeah, it doesn't give me the same exercises. Muscle confusion, people. It is a thing. To the point where I've gotten to the point where I'll do my workout today. I'll put on my workout and I'll go, what's it going to give me? It's going to do the same thing.

It doesn't. It actually gives me something different all the time. You should not be doing the same thing for the same body parts every week. Switch it up. Switch it up because you'll hit different angles. Fast twitch, slow twitch. Let these personal trainers... that help develop these workouts let them guide you because they know what they're doing 69 bucks 79 bucks a year i think it was 79.99 and then you get a discount with our code and so i used to pay when i

I used to use Amber. I think she was 85 a session. Yeah, Presto was 85. But now I think she's 100 and something. So like it gave me like, for a while it was giving me... decline push-ups and push-ups and then release push-ups, which are just not fun. Oh, I like those because I'm like, Sharip.

Okay. Horton loves them. Horton loves them. He's like, you want to build your muscles? Do the release. So then I was like, I'm going to have to do those again. Because you can't use momentum. It did that for, right. It did it for a couple of weeks. And then yesterday it said, it gave me, it said, nope, I didn't do any of that. I did this, some of this crazy stuff with. the dumbbells that I was just like, this hurts.

I did floor presses, which is weird because you have to control it because you can't just drop the weight because you're going to hurt your elbow. They specifically said do them on the floor? Yes. Well, because they want you to control its looks and you don't want to hurt yourself. And then I did a decline, so you don't get into titties. I did decline bench. I love it because I've been using it two and a half years now. Never been bored. Good.

So I love this because somebody who has a storied history with fitness, good and bad. I do remember. I know the fear of feeling like you don't know what you're doing and not wanting to do it in front of people in the gym, like feeling stupid about stuff. Also, I know the feeling of being a woman and being in a co-ed gym and being...

hit on and gawked at when, you know, there were certain exercises I stopped doing. And I see some of your outfits though. Some of your outfits are wearing. Yeah, right. It's my fault. I asked for it because I wore workout clothes. But that's what I... I mean, like, so this is such a great alternative for that. I actually eventually joined an all women's gym and that was better. I could suddenly do.

uh abductors and adductors again but even as a dude like i don't like to go to a gym and i i okay so now i got a workout setup right and that fucking machine is always fine i can't get on the machine now because oh my favorite is when they're on the phone leaning or they're leaning on their other sitting in the machine on

If I can do it all at home and the bodyweight workouts, my son started doing the bodyweight workouts. Jeff started doing them and he's like, don't kick your ass. So you do it at home or you do it wherever you are, hotel room, your backyard, whatever. You can set up your own profile.

You can set up your own profile, you put what you have, you know, you can do it with no equipment. And then if you don't know the exercises, you can watch tutorial videos, just click on each one and it shows you how to do it. So it's just really such a...

great way for people to build their fitness knowledge. And you've seen how I change my body. Yes, I have. Every day he shows me. It's the best 70 bucks a year I've ever spent. Yep. So basically, so we now have a case going on in Rockland. Please tell everybody there is a case in Rockland where the...

votes were so weird that they brought it to court. If that passes, that means a precedent has been set. That means other places can open their thing. That means we could actually look at the swing states. The swing states, by the way, it is impossible. When you look at the swing states, we're going to have election truth lines back on.

right yep there's more stuff they found yep great guys we're gonna have electricity lines back on good now that we got this rockland case maybe it gives us a reason to bring them on sooner awesome great uh guys thank you for listening i really appreciate thank you for watching do me a favor before we go i want to hear

Two years ago today. Better days. Better days. These are better days, baby. Two years ago on this day, President Biden held a cabinet meeting at the White House. In his remarks, he praised the recent debt ceiling deal and bipartisan compromise, emphasizing the importance of continued investment in America and economic progress. Remember that.

He highlighted the creation of 13.1 million jobs since he took office and billions of dollars of investment while also mentioning deficit reduction. Biden also referenced... the new investing in America website and discuss the ongoing efforts to implement recently passed laws, secure the border, combat climate change and protect fundamental rights. Remember those regarding foreign policy.

Biden reiterated his support for Ukraine. Remember that? Remember a support for Ukraine stating that the U.S. is not leaving and will continue to help. It was unclear if he fully heard a question about the damn explosion. I don't know. He also jokingly commented on the PGA live golf merger. What did he say? He was planning on playing in the PGA. Good point.

Oh, I just want to say this really quickly too. This was another prediction of things that are coming to fruition. So do you remember how I told you guys that I was concerned about Trump? Elon helping Trump to gather Americans' data instead of having it separated. and confidential in different agencies, social security, your medical records, all of that. They are now, Trump has just hired a- Palantir.

Okay, I was going to say what it was, but you go ahead and explain. No, no, sorry, sorry. She's super eager about this story. Sorry, I'm just mad. Go ahead. It's Big Brother. No, no, go ahead and explain it. Yeah, so they're planning on... It's a tech company. The guy is super nutty, super MAGA. Go watch videos on him. It's kind of terrifying, the stuff that he has said publicly. Yep. They are going to merge your data from... all different agencies into one single location.

Which would give your federal government unprecedented power to spy on and harass. One login. Now I can get all your stuff. Just so you know, in China, they have the CCV cameras. They have facial recognition technology. So if you're out in China somewhere. doing your Chinese citizen they have all this this is China shit this is like communist shit yes they

If you do something wrong, bam, they got your picture, they got it, you get arrested. There's a score. They'll go to your house. It's like a social score. You get a social score, right. Yes. It's like a Yelp review, a digital Yelp review for you that will affect your ability to get credit, to get jobs.

of that to do anything and who's in charge of that exactly you know so by the way guys speaking of china just wanted you to know that the guy that paid the most the Chinese Binance guy who went to the White House, the SEC just dropped the case against him. Wait, the guy that gave Trump like $16 million, they just dropped the case against him? That's correct. Scott Bessent, our treasury secretary, and Pam Bondi together.

Coincidence, isn't it? They dropped the whole case. I'm sure that him giving the Trump administration $16 million had nothing to do with it. Don't even imply that. 100%. Billionaires kill children. Republican billionaires specifically kill children. I'm tired. Guys, go to ChristopherTitus.com. Get my new special, Carrying Monsters. Also, come see me on the road. Doomed to Repeat is getting so good. And we just came with a really cool show.

You did short sets, but it was really good. Did you like it? I did. Where did I need to work on it? I'm not sure. Jen and I were talking the whole time. Exactly. No, we were watching. Jen was hysterical. Jen hadn't seen any of it and she was... I'm sure you heard her laugh in the back of the room the whole time.

Like nonstop laughing. Good. But it's getting really good. Come see me. I'm going to be this week. I will be in. Desert Ridge on Thursday. Desert Ridge Improv on Thursday. Then I'll be at Stand Up Live. Downtown Phoenix. With the lovely Rachel. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

And she's working and ready for her special. I am getting this thing. And I think I'm off book now. I'm going to be off book. You were at Flappers. Yeah, I only did 20 minutes. So this show's an hour and ten. There's a couple bits. Maybe I can work. phoenix are drunk mostly anyway so you're not gonna never notice no i'm looking at my computer

But go to ChristopherTitus.com and get that right now. We have a bunch of new merch. I think Billionaires Kill Children might be a new one. By the way, shout out to Tom Morello for just being as ballsy as he is. My alpha chick is the album is out. Came off of Spotify for a minute. We don't know why, but it's going to be back. But you can get it on iTunes and everywhere else to just go and put it in your Apple Music and then just hit play and mute and go about your day.

Yeah, I'll get paid for those streams. Put some bots on it too. That's right. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Guys, thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. Do me a favor. Keep just scream sanity. We got to start getting a billionaires kill children. Let people know that because.

These guys, when the election comes around in 26, if there is going to be an election in 26, we can make sure that we have some, not some strongly worded letter from Chuck Schumer, but that we are actually calling these fuckers out for what they did. That's right. Yeah, continue to scream sanity.

myself, the lovely bombshell Ray and the Highlander. Later. Peace out. I wanted to see if that would work. Oh, shout out to Mr. Thomas, Mahogany's dad, who listens and tries to maintain his sanity in this world. By the way, he's a world champion black belt. Yeah, he was just in Japan. He was just in Japan. Won a tournament in Japan. Calmest dude I ever met would not want to. He's going fucking crazy. But scary calm.

He's like this. He's kind of calm. You're like, okay. Guys, thanks for watching. Later. A brilliant 22-year-old nursing student named Lakin Riley, the best in her class, admired by everybody, went out for a jog on the campus of the University of Georgia. That morning, Lakin was viciously attacked, assaulted, beaten, brutalized, and horrifically murdered. Lakin was stolen from us by a savage illegal alien gang member.

who was arrested while trespassing across Biden's open southern border and then set loose into the United States under the heartless policies of that failed administration. It was indeed a failed administration. He had then been arrested and released in a Democrat-run sanctuary city, a disaster, before ending the life of this beautiful young angel. With us this evening are Lakin's beloved mother Allison and her sister Lauren

Last year, I told Lakin's grieving parents that we would ensure their daughter would not have died in vain. That's why the very first bill I signed into law as your 47th. The president mandates the detention of all dangerous criminal aliens who threaten public safety. It's a very strong, powerful act. It's called the Lakin-Riley Act. So Allison and Lauren, America will never, ever forget our beautiful Lake in Hope rally.