Finger Blast From The Past: Packed Lunches

Finger blast! Finger blast! Oh! Finger blast from the past! All right, Luce. All right, babes. All right. So I've just had a message from school chasing me for school dinner money. This is a reoccurring theme. Reoccurring theme. They're always after me. Dear Mrs. Tired and Chestered, your school dinner balance is now £500.

Yeah. Can you tell me, I remember when I was at school, when I was in middle school, it was £1.10 for a school lunch. What is it these days? £2.50. All right, not too bad. The inflation based on the years gone by. Well, some people, it depends, I guess, because, I mean, Evelyn will generally just have a cheese sandwich. And I'm like, I can make you a cheese sandwich for less than £2.50. Do you know what I mean? So it just depends.

But you're paying for the convenience of not having to, right? True. Imagine having to do a packed lunch every morning. Well, I have to do it for chops. So when chops goes into the childminder, I have to send him in with a lunch. So I couldn't, and I'm not, I'm not that person. And I really want to be who makes everything the night.

before so I'm really organized in the morning no I decide that the point in which to try and make a child's lunchbox in the morning is well I'm trying to get them dressed change a nappy try and put breakfast down them get the other ones ready get them out the door try and find six shoes um and and it doesn't it you know it doesn't end well for us no i mean all hail packet snack packety snacks for kit for babies right oh god love that tell you i love a veggie straw

Yeah. What is it called? Are they called kiddie somethings? Yeah. The biscottis. Yeah. The veggie crisps. Literally. If the veggie straws add a bit of salt on them.

sometimes i sometimes i take a pack and just add a bit of salt on like salt and shake crisps those i mean that's a finger blast that's a finger blast in itself isn't it and you used to think that you'd maybe won a prize because it was do you remember you each win prizes in walkers crisps didn't you this little blue sachet and it was dead greasy you rip it off and then put it in and then i remember that yeah shaky crisps around like maraca

Yes. Like a munchie maraca. Oh, but anyway. I mean, how lazy was that with Salt and Shake? It's like, I'm going to launch a crisp brand, but I can't be asked to put the salt on, so they'll have to do it themselves. But then I guess if you are, you know... Not a massive salt fan. My dad loved them because he was a big salt fan. So he could regulate the amount of salt. He put shit loads of salt on his crisps. But just don't eat crisps if you're not a salt fan.

I don't think that's your game. I think you probably should maybe, I think you should maybe step away from the crisps and let everybody else enjoy the high sodium intake. Yeah. okay so yeah i mean we're not gonna we're not gonna finger blast um sultan shake chris but what what an absolute blast that is um but i thought maybe we could just do a more generic school dinners off the 90s

Now, I'd say this. I didn't have school dinners. I had a pat lunch. I was one of them weird kids. Or the whole way? Yeah. You never had a school dinner? I had a school dinner at Christmas. in you know like school christmas dinner and primary school because it was made out to be this absolutely amazing event and did you get the really really really hard sage and onion stuffing balls yeah yeah and like a piece of turkey that was just

Denser than Dwayne Johnson's thigh muscle dents. Like that's what it was. Like somebody had roasted Dwayne's leg and served it to us at school. I feel like... you were missing out on a British institution.

I mean, I think that I'm hoping for your kids' sake and for my kids' sake when they get there, that school dinners have maybe evolved a bit. I hope so. Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, the kids seem to quite like this. They don't talk about, you know, like, blancmange or spotted dick. Can you imagine?

imagine they've had to act spot a dick haven't they like get that one off the menu that's that's just a dictionary yeah now now it's just like a raisin pudding with a bit of like with a bit of custard on it yeah yeah I mean the thing that I was that I really remember is I didn't mind some school dinners like I think there was like if it was chip day everyone was like

You could smell it. You could smell the oil. Smell the oil a day in advance. But then it was almost like they would get it so right on chip day, but then they would get it so wrong. So... They had like, it was like a blancmange, but which was incredible as well. They would create these like sponge puddings with sprinkles on the top. And it was just, it was basically just sponge icing sprinkles. But then they would have it sat in.

Not just custard, but pink custard that tasted like plastic. Oh, God. Yeah, what was even the flavour supposed to be of pink custard? What was that? I can't imagine it was natural colouring. No, I mean, it was the 90s. It was probably the same people that made a sunny day, wasn't it, really, to be honest? Yeah, just all glowing on the inside like you'd had a barium meal. So, no, I didn't experience the pure joy of a school dinner apart from a Christmas.

um and then yeah I kept my high school years pretty

pack lunch heavy as well and my pack lunch used to consist of some quite questionable materials um because that because again because I was a fussy eater so I might have mentioned this on the main pod before my dad used to make sandwiches right the week before and freeze them for speed like my dad

And he still protests to this day that he didn't do this. He did, John, you did. He used to make the sandwiches, right? So he'd be a bit of ham and he'd just stick it in a bit of like a white roll and he'd just shove it in the freezer, right? And then it would out this little sad. Flat, frozen balm would come in clean fill in the morning. Would it not be soggy? So as it defrosted throughout the day...

it would become soggy around the edges with the condensation of the defrostation. And then so I'd have to pick off the really wet bits of bread around the outside. And then the worst he would ever do, and this is what he highly protested to do that didn't happen, but it did, was that...

on his lazy days when he couldn't be asked making me anything more adventurous than a piece of ham inside of dry bread, which I don't, it takes like 0.3 seconds to do that, John. Why did we freeze these sandwiches? He would make me Marmite butties, right? And he'd do the same. He would freeze the marmite.

And shove it in the freezer. And that's what I'd have for my lunch. Right. So this is what I'd have. Did you actually eat this? No, I didn't. And they were always still a little bit frozen in the middle as well. Because you have your lunch early as a kid. Don't you have your lunch at like 12? Yeah. It's like not lunchtime. Like I'd have lunch at two or something.

yeah you'd have me half frozen soggy sandwich what a taste sensation that was then I would have a really nutritious pepperami just to you know finish it off

Just dial up that sodium content again. Yeah. And do you know what I used to do? What I used to do with my pepperami? I used to, then it had like a plastic casing. If you've never had one. I've seen them. When somebody opened their lunchbox and opened it, it'd be like... it comes in its own um condom as well so you know safety first comes in its own sheath and what i'd do is i'd take the pepperami out of its sheath right i'd eat the pepperami um and then i would suck the salt off the

Pepper and a Miami condom. Oh, my God, that's gross. Tell you what, Jorex are missing a trick here. They should do a partnership. with pepperami right and they should have a pepperami flavored condom people would go for that people would go for that i think we should make this happen Okay, you go do that. One thing that I'm intrigued, so I was never, I was always on school dinners, right, until I was in, when I went to high school. And then when I was in high school, I got, I was on.

packed lunch because it was cheaper right so and then but then when I was on packed lunches in high school I was like fancy like there were boys that I fancied that used to get school dinners in the year above so I used to like pretend I'd forgotten my packed lunch and go and get a free lunch and sit and not eat and just look at these boys and be like just look at the boys but when I was

exciting was it um but when I was growing up and when I was on school to this I always wanted to pack to be on pack lunches do you know why why because I had a bit of a fetish for pepperami pepperami condom not pepperami but for tupperware like were you were you quite um like I remember when I was put on to pack lunches I was very excited about choosing

a new Tupperware for my lunchbox that wasn't really a thing for me no I think I just used to throw stuff in my gigantic rucksack which had every book in the whole land yeah and I could just take and I'd quite often as well just find a month later a complete

flat defrosted marmite sandwich just squished at the bottom a bit green around the edges that I'd have to like take out and then I'd hide them in my room I don't know why I would just put them in the bin at school but I'd hide them in my room don't know why what your bedroom

yeah because i'd be like shit i can't see that my dad can't see that i haven't eaten my shit sandwich so i just like hide them let them fester even more that yeah i don't know why i wouldn't just put them in the bin so gross did you ever have um a packed lunchbox though like you know like the character ones when we were little with the with the third

Thermos flask. I think I had a My Little Pony one. I had a Care Bears one. Ah, classic. Do they still do those? They've got those hot, you know, the, oh, they were the best. Thermos, you could take some spaghetti hoops into school with you and they'd still be warm. health and safety risk now they wouldn't allow it i wouldn't thought yeah yeah but no i remember like on a weekend i would ask my mom and dad for a packed lunch in my care bears just to eat in your house yeah in front of gladiators

Oh, what a life we lived. What a life, what a life. They don't know what they're missing, do they? They don't know what they're bloody missing. So no, I did. And then I always had a Jordan's Crunch Muesli Bar as well. Oh yes, healthy. All of the sugars.

I still get, I still, I'm like, oh, I'm going to have a, I'm going to have a healthy snack. I know, I know they're naughty. I'm going to have a full cereal bar because it's got a peanut in. That's fine. Although now, so our kids, we're not allowed to send any snack in. No cereal bar that's got any trace of nuts in it. So you can't, we're in a nut-free school. But again, it was the fucking 90s. It was like, I see your nut allergy and I raise you 12 Fruisley bars.

oh my god i know i love it oh my god i want a fruizley they were a bit chewy weren't they oh nice oh fruizley um the jordan's one were a bit more um like you'd maybe break a filling or two something where rock hard you had to bite on the side and you're like um you've just speaking of like healthy snacks you've just reminded me of something i haven't told you so um obviously brad who does our meal plans and our lord save you brad a lot of it right so

I have been working out like a bitch for a long time now. You have. Granted, okay. But, and I've been, I'd say I've been well behaved 90% of the time when, if I'm not going like, if I'm not.

going out out or whatever anyway we have to check in don't we every every thursday or friday or whatever we usually do on a saturday in the end don't we i haven't done it the past two weeks he's gonna get me i messaged him actually yesterday i messaged him and i was i need because he's like you know how are you doing he checks in how are you getting on so i was like well it was a bit naughty at the weekend because there was all about like i had

birthday booze I had to dial up it was my friend's birthday and then there was mother's day treats out of my control out of my control yeah all out of my control um so that's what I said I told him I was going to stick to his meal plan and his exercise plan really strictly this week. But then I said, I really, I feel like I'm worried that my body is plateauing. Because I keep eating shit and drinking Prosecco, yes.

plateauing. So do you know what he's come back with? No, go on. There's been a few weeks of mishap stroke not 100% commitment. So maybe I think it's going to take... More hard work. You see. Burn. Burn. Stop it. Oh, he's so right. It's so annoying. He's so right. This is, to be fair, this is why we signed up with him because he's just like, don't bullshit me. Just stop eating and then...

then you'll lose me. I've been really, really, really, really, really, really good, Brad. And he's like, you just told me last week that you were going out in the lash. Was it Sunday you messaged me and like, like fucking hang, like the fucking hungry caterpillar that you were and you were like, Oh, babe, I think I've put two stone on this week because just today I've had a fry up. I had a roast. I had like some car snacks. Then we needed to charge the car on the way home. So I had a Mackey's.

do you think that'll be all right i was like yeah just water wait babe it's water wait yeah that's why i said to brad like mother's day it was out of my hands it was out of my hands brad out of my hands um but yeah okay fair dues Have fun. Exactly. Gotta live, babe. Gotta live. Gotta live. Yeah. Funnies.