¶ Intro / Opening
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¶ Classic Adverts Nostalgia
Right, Lou. This week I've had a right blast from the past. Are you sure? I was going to say this came from my son, so maybe I might have to rethink. He had been having guitar lessons and his guitar teacher had taught him this song and I want you to tell me what the advert was from when you and I were growing up. TV Gelderland 2021 All together now. All right now, baby. All right now.
Wat was de advert? I'm on a really dusty coach. Yeah. There's a hot guy with a white vest. Yeah. And he's just left half Wrigley's chewing gum. Yeah. We're going to meet with the cup. Yeah. You're just going to, you're going to put your chewies back together and then your fingernails going to merge beautifully into the end of your wriggly cup. And so he came, he came down like doing that on the top, like dang.
Da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Steve en I both away were like, whoa, whoa. It got me thinking. Tell you what, right, adverts from the 90s, they don't make them like they used to do. Well, actually, do they even make adverts anymore? Because who watches adverts?
¶ Pepsi's Harrier Jet Debacle
Nobody watches adverts, so we stream everything, don't we? So we don't have any adverts that we're watching. But some of the ones that I used to watch as a kid, they were... Leegendary. So that one was a favourite. Do you remember the tango advert as well? With the guy who went around happy slapping people. And then they had to ban it, didn't they? Because so many kids were copying. And do you remember happy slapping became a...
actual things and then it got entered into the dictionary and everything and that came from the tango advert the tango bloke just went around slapping around the people in the face did he just slap them with his hands or did he have like did he not have something that you would slap them with
of was it just his hand? I think it was his hand moving backwards and forwards I think and so he was just going yeah he might have also been half naked as well I think there were all sorts of things wrong with the advert retrospectively that's right it did get banned and then do you know They then tried to, because it was such a craze, so no PR is bad PR, but because it was such a craze and they were like, how are we going to beat?
Dat. Dan het was de guy met de bald haard, de orange bald haard. En hij ging around dan kisselen met de bald haard. Oh, dat was niet echt beter, was het? Ja, non-consensual kissing instead. Oh, brilliant. Tango's PepsiCo, wasn't it? Was it? PepsiCo. But I mean, come on, shock tactics, guys. They were probably the first to go in there with a bit of shock tactic, weren't they?
PepsiCo. Do you remember the Pepsi advert? I don't think it aired in this country. The only reason I know about this is because I watched a documentary on it. About Pepsi advertised. dat je genoeg geldt van de kanten, of de kanten, of de kanten, of de kanten, dan zou je kunnen winnen een Harriere Jet. En ze ze niet in de small print dat je niet kunt, dat het was een joke. En zo, dit one guy... I want that Harrier Jet. And there's a brilliant, brilliant documentary.
Het is netflix, is het? Ja, het is netflix. Ik kan het niet zien, maar het is called Pepsi-something. Maar ga en kijken het, want het was fascinatig. Ik kan niet geleden dat ze stupe genoemd waren, om het niet te zien. Maar je gaat niet echt winnen. Er was geen small print whatsoever in dit. En hij werkt uit hoeveel tokens hij had nodig om te winnen. Blummin harried. En hij collected them. En hij cashed them in. En pepsi went.
No, je kunt niet hebben een Harry's Jet, want het is niet real. Het is een piece van war equipment dat koste billions of pounds. Dus ja, het is een heel goed watch. Het is called Pepsi Wears My Jet.
Yes, there we go. There we go. Watch that. If you're looking for something to watch on Netflix, give that a whirl. So yeah, they had quite questionable marketing techniques, I would say, back in the day, didn't they? They did. Also, I still remember... de eerste tv advert waar ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben ik ben
We used to play Guess the Advert. It was actually a really fun game. Where you had the first person to guess it before it said. Those three minutes would fly. I tell you.
¶ Iconic and Quirky Adverts Revisited
My favourite though was, I don't know if you'll remember this, and it's such an obscure memory. Do you remember the Mr Soft Chewy Mints? Mr Soft, why don't you tell me? Why the world in which you're living is so strange. Yeah, and it was so freaky. This weird little marshmallow man just...
Lolling down the road with all these bendy arms and legs. Back then I thought it was really cute and fun. And now I'm like, oh my God, it was basically just some bloke on an acid trip, wasn't it? Like the whole world has turned soft and like squidgy. It's like, it's like. Blimmin Magic Ground about, innit? All the kids are going to think it's so cute. Do you remember the wine gums? Let the juice loose. ... ... ... ...
And then, if you are a millennial, you'll remember at the turn of the century, what's up? What's up? I think that also, along with happy slapping, got integrated within the dictionary, did it not? It was just everywhere, wasn't it? That was. Like, if you didn't, did you, I used to always start my text messages. What's up? On my Nokia 3310.
It probably would have taken you 25 minutes to type out WhatsApp as well. Ordeal, wasn't it? It would get you through the three-minute advert break, I tell you, to type in that. But yeah, and do you remember the Crunchy advert? Oh, the I'm so excited. The chocolate rollercoaster. Oh, I could eat a Crunchie as well. I could eat a Crunchie. All the Diet Coke adverts were always quite great back then as well. Just, you know.
Us gals objectifying a gardener or a brickie or something. And that was fine. That was fine. Because, you know, women have been objectified, you know, since the beginning of time. So I actually quite liked the fact that the coach turned that one around. over this really hunky gardener. Also, it just really set my expectations way too high of what a gardener...
Mijn moeder had een gardener voor een beetje. En zijn name was Neil en hij was about 68. Het was niet as enjoyable. Niet Jesse Metcalf van Desperatijs? Het was niet echt niet. Ik was niet er, het was een teenage me. ...at de window looking at Neil... ...rubbing a can of cold diet cake down myself.
I remember the window cleaner one and it was the guy cleaning the windows in the office. Oh, we didn't have that. Did we even have windows in our cellar of an office? I don't think we did. We were underground in a basement. ... ... ... Dat was de tijd, remember de lads mags, zoo? Ja. Wat was de andere one? Zoo? Nuts. Nuts, dat is het. Nuts, dat is het.
They were so bad, those. Oh my God. And yeah, she's like, do you want a flake in that, love? Flake. Now I just want a flake as well. Dip it in some Boddington. Don't think I've ever had a...
¶ The Evolution of Advertising
can of Boddington's in my life. I don't think I've even had a Guinness in my life. All I could extend to on Patrick's, St Patrick's Day, was an espresso martinis. It kind of looked the same, but it wasn't. You know, when you're watching something now on streaming, like so, so say like...
of you're streaming Married at First Sight or whatever. And then there's an ad break and it's like 30 seconds of ad and it's like, oh my God, like we are spoiled. No, I've had to pay like £4.99 to Channel 4. Can't do it. Kan't do it. No, thank you. You will not sit through those bastard adverts. And sometimes it makes me really cross because they do, what Channel 4 do is they go, OK, we're going to take out the adverts for other products, but we are going to show you a cheeky trailer.
of something else that we've made that you might want to watch. And that makes me fume irrationally. I don't want to see 25 seconds of some other show that I'm probably going to love and binge watch also. Fuck off, I paid my £4.99. I do not want to be interrupted in this whatsoever.
You know Video On Demand, it's now all based on your algorithm and you're targeted on adverts that are suited to you and your demographic. Do you know what I keep getting targeted on when I'm watching maths? Jamie Redknapp. I'll have that. Fair enough, yeah, I'll have that. Advertising slip-on sketches for men. Do you think that it's like they think, oh, do you know what Jez is love? He's of the right age. He's love a slip-on sketcher.
really don't have to bend down as far just get him straight on I mean like he must have got paid a packet to be like hey Jamie will you help us market this slip-on trainer to the older man oh I mean Jamie was my Favourite footballer. And having grown up in Liverpool. My dad used to take me and my sister to the Liverpool games. And we used to get to the cup early. And watch them all warm up.
En seeing Jamie Redknapp in the flesh do some lunges. I was absolutely convinced he waved at me once. That's my claim to fame. I could have been Louise. Naked! He is a beautiful specimen, isn't he? Oh, he still is, innit? He still is. Do you know what I'm currently being targeted with on Instagram, my algorithm? You know, when you go to your Explorer page, I'm getting targeted by really...
Older women. I'm talking 70s. Who can bench press more weights than I can. They're all there in their sports bras. It's called Train With Joe. No, Train With Joan. Train with Joan. I mean, have a look at her Instagram, to be honest. And then once I'd been targeted by it, because I clicked on it because I was intrigued, and then I fell down a scroll hole of this 80-something-year-old woman just doing Bulgarian leg squats.
Dat ik niet doe. Ik kan niet doen. En nu omdat ik klikken op Train With Joan. Maar dat is het nu. Dat is het. Ik zie het op Steve's Instagram. En ik ga naar de Explorer page. It is all DIY projects and hot women in bikinis. Exactly the same as Jez's. And I'm like, who have you been following? Who are you DMing? Who are you sexting? Ja, don't mind me, I'm just sending a dirty message to Joan. Who are you messaging?