Bean Soups and Summer Scoops

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used to describe an individual whose spirit is unyielding, unconstrained, one who navigates life on their own terms, effortlessly. They do not always show up on time, but when they arrive, you notice an individual confident in them. contradictions they know the rules but behave as if they do not exist mutine the new fragrance by mu mu defined by you so hello everybody and welcome to our first spin-off

Thursday episode of the Tired and Tester podcast. I'm Sophie McCartney. As always, I've got Lucy with the Fringe by my side. Hi, babes. Hello. So Thursdays, this is how we are going to roll. Thursdays are our fun features, okay? So we're going to be doing our Urban Dictionary Corners, we're going to be doing our Parenting Tales slash Fails, we're going to be doing When We Were Young, maybe a cheeky little finger blast from the past, okay?

It's our Thursday snackette just to keep you rolling through to the weekend. Happy, relaxed, and going, ew, I can't believe they said that. So, shall we dive in? I think we should ease ourselves in. Ease ourselves in. Slide in. Glide in. With a little bit of Urban Dick on a Thursday. Shenary. Shenary. what an intro um okay excellent so i feel like this reminds me of something i'm stuck because we've been doing this for quite some time now i'm actually getting to the point where i'm going

have we done this one before? But I don't think we've done this. I think we've done something that sounds similar. I mean, surely at this point, they were running out of rude words in the urban. No, absolutely not. Just keep going. The gift that keeps on giving, guys. But I feel like when I say it, tell me if you can remember or listeners, tell me which one this reminds you of, okay? Okay. Sophie McCartney, what do you think bean soup is? I think we've had bean soup.

I don't think we have, though. Bean soup is bringing horrific memories to my mind. I know. I think it might have been bean juice, maybe. No, I think we've had a bean soup. Yeah, I don't know. I want to say. What do you think it is? I want to say. I don't know why I've got, like, a lesbian six-way going on in my head right now. Who are the lesbians? Who are they? I don't know. If you were to have a lesbian six-way, who would it be with? Who would it be?

I don't know. Actually, I've never really thought about that. There's not. Oh, there we go. I'll have a think. Let's be like, Lucy, what's going through your mind right now? Well, Megan Fox. I'm sure we do a new laminated lesbian list. Yeah, definitely. You couldn't be there. Oh, no! I know that we're friends. I haven't seen your boobs. And you've seen my boobs.

You've had to hoist me in to like secret outfit. So many times. And my Spanx. I feel that once you've seen a girl in her Spanx, the lustiness has gone somewhat, right? Like I feel that I wouldn't float your boat now because you'd be like... Girl, please. I know that those curves have come sponsored by Spanx.

And those boobs are not yours. I've seen that those boobs are actually Boomba fillets that you just shove inside. And you're going to like really seductively just flick those out. And there's just going to be these two really sad. triangular little lumps of skin that just look like... Derrily slices. Derrily triangles that someone put on an ironing board and then they started to melt off in the sun and slide slowly down. Oh, I wouldn't want to bang me. No, I've tucked those in.

They're in your bumps. imagine though I don't know like whether the lesbian six way would be like a really empowering moment or just a room full of girls just being like babe just what just does this look a bit jiggly in this light like well you wouldn't be able to see anyone would you for how dark it'd be in that room Right, should we go back to bean soup? Yeah, sorry. Okay, so bean soup, I think, is part of some kind of lesbian six-way, where there's so many beans. Oh, that's beans.

beans ahoy hoy is like a a french bean five bean salad or six bean salad, I guess in this case, with all the vinaigrette and the vinaigrette is just flying away and there's so much of it and that they're possibly... They're possibly squirters. I don't know. Oh, right. So they make their soup with their beans. Yeah. That's nice. I like what you've done there. You know what, though? I now really weirdly fancy a tuna and bean salad. that's what she that's what she said oh my god the dog

because Steve's giving him a wash. He's come in really... Oh, stop it! Stop it! Steve! Own your zone! Own your zone! Own your zone! Stop barking at me! Stop barking at me! Stop barking at me! He had tuna and beans and he was like, yes please.

he said we've just been he went for a walk and he fell in the canal oh god oh god fortunately he was on the harness and we just kind of like like magnet fished him out um and um but then he stank so steve's just giving him a wash and he was meant to be keeping him downstairs but I don't know quite how the dog has now managed to thunder his way up the stairs unattended by the way Steve has not followed being like no he's still not here he's still not not here he's still not Steve

Not even in the house, I think. I think he's just out in the garden. Well, let's just let him sit there and growl for a bit. It's fine. He's quite aggressively... What is he doing? He's humping my big paddle brush. He's bean souping a big paddle brush right now. I've remembered what we've done. I just was quickly, we've done bean dip before.

oh can you remember what that was that feels chlamydia orientated i don't know it just feels like there's something that's scoopable that's lurking somewhere that it shouldn't be it just it's all mannerisms of gross so no i i think that bean soup is Some kind of squirty lesbian fantasy dream scene. I think that's what I'm going to go with. Do you know what? I actually prefer your... your version. Sorry, I need to interrupt.

Steve not wanting to be seen in the podcast, crawling on his hands and knees. And he's timed it perfectly. Like nothing to see here. It's like... Is this a clip? okay right it's taken a really long time to get the beans really isn't it everyone's beans are on the edge of their seats right now Right. I've got really sweat. Back to my, hang on a second. I am just going to, I got, I am just going to just deodorize.

Are you on a leather chair as well? Yeah, well, leather. We're not all learning the big books yet, Lisa. Just sat in a bit of bean soup. Yeah, yeah. Right, okay, so, bean soup. I did not know this, funnily enough. Funnily enough.

Bean soup is in reference to a TikTok video where a creator posted a recipe for bean soup and then received a comment asking, what if I don't like beans? So bean soup. or being bean souped, or bean souping, is a phenomena in which a user is unable to recognise that not all content is directed towards them. Oh.

A normal user would realise they don't identify with the content and move on. A bean super would interact in opposition and usually unintelligently too. Oh, I love that. I have so many people who bean soup over me. I know. So here's another example. Here's how I curl my hair with a curling iron, says content creator. Bean super. But what if I don't have any hair?

love this so much okay well actually I think this is the first urban dictionary that I'm going to take away with me into the real world yeah that is relevant um just think about this the other day Jack said something that cracked me up and it like kids today now It is a whole new world, the language, isn't it? And now I'm beginning to feel like my parents did when we'd all be like, yeah, like, you know, sick man or whatever. What did we say?

I don't know what we used to say. It's how we talk now, isn't it? I don't know. What did we used to say? Cowabunga. What's up? What's up? I think ours was still fairly like you could probably work it out you know what I mean like it would be like a Spanish GCSE paper like you could kind of there or thereabouts get the gist of what we were saying but like But now, so Steve was telling Jack a story. He's been away with work and he was telling him a story to do with one of the players at work.

Anyway, it ended and we were all like, oh, it's a nice story, Steve. Yeah, thanks. And then Jack just rolled his eyes at me and went, oh, dad, you're such a click farmer. And we were like, sorry, what? For a minute, I thought you said a click farmer. He said a click, click farmer. And I was like, what is a click farmer when it's at home? He was like, you know, somebody who just like says something just for likes.

like click beta like click beta but click farming so you would produce a story or like you'd just go online and just do something just so people i was like fucking hell if anyone's the click farmer around here it's me it's mommy mommy doesn't click farming yeah she needs those crops exactly my god I've got like a whole like warehouse of people that I'm hiring for click farming right now hanging out the back

Let's get farming. It's quite mad. Like all squished in the corner that basically Jack told him. His story was a bit shit, basically. And he's only saying it to be liked. It's so harsh. so there you go bean soup i think you do get quite a lot of bean supers yeah to be fair and now now you can you can throw back that that sort of analogy

Yeah, but God, Jack, don't be such a bean souper. But although sadly now in my mind, I have an alternative as to what I think bean souping is. I don't want my son to be anywhere near bean soup. No, thank you. I mean, good on him.

if you can get six of them no do you know what it's because he's um because he has been doing reproduction and sex ed stuff at school like the other day i was just like leaning over the kitchen island and um and steve walked past me and he just ran his hand across my lower back it was very restrained because normally if I bend over in front of Steve like it's the pole axe up the arse isn't it is what you get like like not like through the clothing not anal in front of the kids and then and but

Jack just went, oh, dad, what did you do then? And he was like, no, I literally just touched your mom's back. And he was like, whoa, steady, not in front of the kids, gonna go and make a baby. And then we'll see if you'll be like, yeah, I will actually, if that's all right. If you lot just bog off for a minute, then yeah, maybe I would.

yeah anything now and like if he's kissing or and I'm like hyper vigilant because I cannot cope with him being basically like oh wait you're about to go off and have a bong I know what goes where I'll thank you very much It's awful. It's awful. Oh, but how can he lick you in the eye? I remember when I found out about it, I was just like... How can he lick you in the eye? Lick you in the eye! I was like, what kind of sex ed did you get in Newcastle?

That's how you make a baby. But yeah, like I just, as soon as I found out what went down, I could not look at my parents. I was like, you dirty, dirty fuckers. I still think that I don't remember. I know we've spoken about this probably in previous series, but I got a book, didn't I? I got my book with weird machinery in these like big industrial click farming units.

And they had big screws hanging out of them. Like the bloody dog from Toy Story. A slinky dog hanging off them. A slight little floppy cock that they had to go and put inside of other machines. So confused. And like probably the first time that I saw them. saw a vibrator i was just like what the fuck is that like it's like terminator rise of the machines i'm like what are these fucking machines gonna be doing so gross

Anyway, I feel very well informed. Thank you very much. Shall we have one more? Yeah. Because then I discovered potato soup. And then while I was discovering potato soup, I then discovered there were two meanings to potato soup. So I thought... Let's give this one a whirl. Oh, in for a penny, in for a pound of potatoes. Okay. All right. Potato soup. Well, okay. Well, I don't think that I should go dirty then because if it was a similar ilk, so that must be something like internet.

orientated is it oh i was just gonna say somebody's just like proper thick like as dense as a potato like two short planks yeah right and they just yeah and they just The brain is much...

Yeah, they're just saying stupid shit because they don't understand what's happening in front of them. I would say, because I can't, I don't think it'll be dirty now, now that I know what a bean soup is. I actually love a leek and potato soup personally. Jamie Oliver does a cracking recipe that is actually quite like...

on the potatoes um and it incorporates some celery some onions some carrots as well which i thought was quite controversial you know yeah as well as the leak that goes in and it's very delicious actually and not too carby oh do you know what's awful a really

thick potato soup where basically somebody's just blended potato and put some water into it awful so you like it with the chunks i know no no i still with it and make it yeah i still with it really smooth but it's quite a runny very flavorsome soup It's delicious. Well, I'm about to ruin that for you. Just sort of soak in one last memory of that leek and potato soup, babes. Ready? So two meanings. First meaning. Potato soup. Very chunky, thick vomit. Only found inside of a sink.

Steve wants potato souped a whole chicken into a shower.

In our house in Norwich when we lived there. We had a house party. But the pre-kids days. I don't think we were even married. Yeah, we talked about this. Yeah, but he puked like a chicken bone into it. Like a dog. Just like... like you found you found a chicken out in the garden chased it and just swallowed it and then just went and then threw it back off again like we're nearly used to eat pigeons oh i think we can call like chicken and potato soup

yeah yeah yeah so um so that was the first explanation of potato soup and that one was from um 2022 but now I'm going to throw back to the 2009 entry

Okay, so 2009 potato soup. God, this is so gross. Vomiting in an asshole and then eating it out. No, no, no, no. fucking way that anybody has no nobody has done that that hasn't like been tied to a chair in a situation like there's no way that anybody has volunteered for this to happen I know that like two girls one club happened i know that that was a what context sentence

Oh, no way. Two girls, one cup was nothing compared to the potato soup I saw last night. No, that is absolute, I was going to say bullshit. It is puke.

shit it is not real that is not nobody's ever done that there's no point even coining it that has never been a thing that everybody has been done like they haven't just pulled out their little like wooden ladle like goldilocks and the three this have them be like just right like no do you think it would be i know that it's maybe maybe this is more uh um a fantasy

no i'm sorry you belong in jail if that is your fantasy you are already of a level where like your face basically just looks like it like do you know what you can do you see like criminals and they post their pictures in like the daily mail and you go yeah, to be fair, I'd pitch you up or have a line out for being an absolute wrong one. Like if that, if you are thinking of puking into somebody's bum hole and then eating it again. And then go, wait, wait, I just got to run to the kitchen.

To get, what, some salt and pepper? And a spoon. And a spoon. Don't move. I think they should bring back hanging just for things like that.

I think, to be honest. If that is your level of sexual kink, then just get rid of them. Just because they're wrong-uns, to be honest. They're just going to... commit some other atrocity other than eating sick out of a bum hole and they just put them out their misery first well do you know what this makes me think though like it's clearly the potato soup which is just a little bit of chunky sick in it

in a sink that's like gen z and then and then potato soup from 2009 that's like millennials that's what that's that's we were the fucked up generation aren't we is that what that says it was the boomers the old ones yeah yeah because if you've got no teeth then soup is the easiest thing to eat um so maybe that's maybe No, no, honest to God, the nightmare is now that I'm going to have tonight. But also, hang on, just if we're talking logistically. Yeah, come on. Get it out. Just like the sick.

Who's, who's thrown up? Have you thrown up? Who's thrown up? Is it you eating your own sick? I don't know. No. But you vomited. You said that like it was so audacious that I've just asked that. No. Who's sick is it then? Who the fuck? what just yeah no no it's just so so the you you vomit into somebody else's asshole and then you eat it so it's your own sick so you cannibal your own your own sick i don't know if that's better or worse

Well, it's the more hygienic of the two. I beg to differ. There's any hygiene involved in this story whatsoever. Well, thanks everyone for this. Soupy, soupy, soup, soup. What are you having for lunch? I'm not fucking soup. I imagine our listenership is going to drop off dramatically for next week. So thanks so much, everybody, for listening. Please come back next week when we will be hopefully talking less about soup.

All I can think about as well is what if the person farted? It'd be like a weird little volcano, wouldn't it? awful this soup's got a bit sulfur-y okay so that's that's your soupy urgent dictionary for this week This episode is brought to you by Marshalls, where you never have to compromise between quality and price. The buyers of Marshalls hustle hard, working to bring you great deals on brand name and designer pieces.

Because Marshall's believes everyone deserves access to the good stuff. Visit a Marshall's store near you or shop online at marshalls.com. This episode is brought to you by CBS. DMV is a brand new workplace comedy turning misery into magic and chaos into comedy. Starring Harriet Dyer and Tim Meadows, DMV is here to serve you laughs. Watch October 13th at 8.30, 7.30 Central on CBS and streaming on Paramount+.

Alrighty, time to dive into a bit of when we were young. This week's splash of nostalgia is proudly brought to you by our friends over at Photobox. Now, we've been rummaging through our memory banks and asking you, lovely lot, to share those hilarious sun-drenched tales from summer holidays of yesteryear. And guess what? Photobox is the...

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we'll ever have to worry about copyright i'm guessing i don't think we will we'll be anyone's gonna be bothered to be honest i really think actually it bears no resemblance to the actual tune anyway

It's totally different. So we did a little shout out for some summer holiday specific stories. And honestly... i think it's been the the sort of the quickest response and dms they were sliding on in um so but keep them coming and holidays and like the noughties like when you're in your late teenage years of my life honestly booking it for like 200 quid to go away to Valaraki for six years living in a one-star apartment with no

anything no facilities no basic means of living like no running water no windows just basically in prison in balaraki but having the best time ever it's so good somebody actually commented and said um She remembers packing, like, pasta, like...

pot noodles and pasta things because they didn't have enough money to go out for like to eat so they would actually take all of their dinners pasta like cup of soups pastas and sauces and pot noodles and stuff so that they would they would eat that before they went out because they didn't have enough money That was just, that was the life, wasn't it? It was survival. Going out every night, caning it. You'd go for two weeks as well, wouldn't you? Two week August holiday.

And you would just go out and drink fish bowls every night, fall off big foreign curbs. The curbs are excessively high, aren't they? Well, I remember vividly, when you used to go to Vodka Revolution when you were younger, did you used to drink in absolute shambles?

no can you remember that so this was our favorite this was our go-to pre-last drink it was vodka red bull topped up with some shitty carver or prosecco and it was honestly yeah classic it was real real classy anyway so we went to um where were we i think we're in marbs and we used to before we went out we would make a tank of this with whatever the cheapest of the cheap

fake red bull cheapest of the cheap shitty pissy wine and the cheapest of the cheap vodka which was probably laced with some sort of wild bleach or something anyway so um we were drinking this or like Like.

by the keg and then it must have got to about day three or day four and me and my friend avril were on the roof of where we were where we were staying we were up in the roof sunbathing and we were both crying and we were shaking and we were just like what the fuck is going on with us we were we were shaking

and we were it was like all of a sudden we were like we're having to come down from all of the red the shit red bull that we'd just constantly been drinking we were honestly it was why we we were just like like a quivering mess with each other like why are we crying and why are we shaking and it was just because all we'd been drinking was this absolute rocket fuel which was it was rocket fuel oh my

God. Oh, no. Do you know what? I never did Red Bull or anything because I just couldn't. I think I'd won Red Bull in my life and my heart went mad. So I just went, oh, no. imagine i had a murmur as a child oh yes yeah i mean now i'll have you know eight drinks in one day that contain caffeine but i won't have a red bull yeah oh my god yeah so there we go that was that's a little bit of a stupidity story from my youth um but I've got one here which is from Laura

So she hasn't asked to be stay anonymous. So we're going to go with it. So Laura says, I went traveling with my bestie around Europe and we have lots of stories. First up. Waking up in our tent one morning after going to the local discotheque. My friend woke with waist down in the tent and her head poking out of the tent. I woke up in a camp bed wondering...

Why there was pizza all over the floor. After nodding back off, we both woke up, absolutely sweltering in the heat, and then it dawned on us. It wasn't pizza. My friend had puked up everywhere. And then flipped her mattress, sending it all flying into the floor, hence the pizza. Then she proceeded to get some fresh air before collapsing half in and half out of the tent door. Oh, do you know what would have made that worse? If she'd done it in somebody's bum hole and then ate it.

So, you know, they should all be very thankful that they didn't wake up with their legs in the air and their mate puking on them and trying to eat it with a spoon. I'm sorry, right? But I think about some of the utter states that we stayed in. when we were young that were actually hotel rooms to be in a tent i wrote camp at the best of times like in this country where it is cold majority of the time i will not

And it is mainly because, well, I hate it, but I despise waking up in the morning. At five o'clock in the morning, sun's already blurring in. And it's waking up in the sweaty, hot plastic bag. And that is a July, August in the UK. It's not even hot. Put yourself in a tent, maybe in a foreign country, where it does actually warm.

and waking up and oh no where were they europe somewhere in europe generic europe she said the local discotheque she said local discotheque so i'm gonna i'm gonna go with france france yeah yeah and then but then imagine as well after that incident that you have to carry on with your friend sleeping imagine the smell oh you'd never get rid of that smell would you

oh no i mean it ended nicely she said later on in the trip we were camping in corfu so they'd moved to corfu oh they moved on yeah just to get away from the smell and then after two weeks we would know they took the smell with them And after two weeks, we were getting bored of each other and wished for a bus full of bus full of hotties to turn up. Literally later that day, a coach full of Aussies rocked up. Yay. We made friends with them.

bought us breakfast, invited us on their group pub crawl and gave us the best time ever. This is manifestation before it became a thing. Yeah. I hope that they made friends. I mean, no wonder that they were getting bored of each other, especially if one of the... Oh, nah. Well done, girls. Well done. You survived. Yeah. Oh, God, there's no way I'd do that. No way. Camping in a tent in... Oh, no. In mainland Europe. Thank you.

No, I'd be off to Australia. The Australians take me with you. Take me back to Australia. So there we go. That's this week's When We Were Young. When we were young. So there we go. That was our first spinoff done. And Dusted, I hope that you enjoyed. And if you didn't, don't tell us. If you would like to contribute to next week's episode, if you want to send in a cheeky little story, a parenting tale or fail.

slide into our dms if you have a story from when you were young that you want to send in send it and if we read it out you're going to win yourself a 50 pound photo box voucher why would you not Go for it. The more debaucherous, the better. Hit the jingle.