The importance of "me time" | 890

Hi. It's been a while. Wait, hold on. Let me do the thing. In this episode, we're going to talk about where I've been. Get excited. Because this is Tiny Leaps. Big changes.

I'm not going to lie. It actually felt kind of good doing that. It's been a minute after doing that for roughly eight years, seven-ish, seven, eight years, and then not for the last year. I dig it. I'm into it. Anyway, I don't know if there's anyone listening to this. It's been a while, so I don't blame anyone for unsubscribing, no longer listening. Why would you? There's nothing to listen to. If there happens to be a couple of people listening, hello, thank you for being here.

What am I doing here? I think is probably the big question everyone has. And that's a good question. So over the last year, one of the things I talked about in my wrap up episode last year. was a big part of what led me to feeling like I no longer enjoyed this. I no longer enjoyed the show, no longer enjoyed the industry. A big thing that led to that was this sense that all I can really do is talk to a microphone.

You know, we're covering, or at least we were covering, really big, important topics on this show. Things that have massive impact on people's lives. There was nothing I could actually do to solve the problems. Really, all I could do is talk about it and maybe leave somebody feeling a little bit more hopeful.

about where they're going or a little bit more realistic about where they are and feeling like, well, you know what? My current situation might not be great, but I can at least move forward.

one tiny leap at a time that's what i was trying to do and for a while i think i did that but over the years i started to feel like it's not enough like it's just not valuable enough to just talk about it and and i started getting more and more frustrated because the industry has quite frankly like warped so much since when i first started um And you've all seen it. The number of people grifting and selling courses and $3,000 coaching packages and all of this stuff.

The number of people doing that, especially with the rise of TikTok and short form video, is massive. And we're talking people who have not lived life, but are somehow life coaches. And this was something that... I was terrified of when I first started the podcast. Because remember, I was 23. I'm 32 now. I'm about to turn 33. Well...

Five months. But I was terrified when I first started the podcast that I was going to be a 23-year-old life coach. And that's why, if you remember the early, early episodes, they were heavily based in, let me find a... document, research, read through it, and then translate what I understood. It was never going to be, this is how I think you should live your life, because that's bullshit.

I was 23. I didn't know how to live my own life, much less tell you how to live yours. Most people apparently don't have that instinct. And so we see a lot of 23 year old, 22 year old, 19 year old life coaches out there. Making a ton of money. Capitalizing on people's desperation. People's fears. People's inability to control their situation. And worse yet, I think, blaming those people for the situation that they're in. Now, here's the thing. I'm all for personal responsibility.

But as you know, if you're a fan of this show, there is a lot we do not control. And a lot of the stuff we do not control creates the opportunities that we get. So blaming those people saying, hey, you're here because you're not good enough or you're here because you didn't try hard enough or whatever it is. It's just a tactic. to get you to feel like, well, I need to invest this money because that proves that I'm taking this seriously. That proves that I'm trying. That's the game.

And so I stopped. I felt like I had done, you know, I'd said what I wanted to say. And I ended the show last year, as you know. In that time, so I ended it last October.

Something happened last December, so December 2023, that ultimately led to me recording this episode now. And if you follow me on Instagram, you may have already seen this video. So December 2023, I wanted to get my wife a gift. And I knew that she was interested in tarot cards.

She liked tea. We had just had a conversation about how in 2024 we were going to spend more time on the couch reading and drinking tea rather than watching TV. So... I had this idea to get her a tea set that paired different types of tea with different tarot cards. And, you know, it was just meant to be kind of like cute and jokey. Like, you know, you don't take it too seriously, but just like an interesting way to view the tea that you're drinking. And I couldn't really find it anywhere.

It just wasn't something that existed, or at least that I could come across. And interestingly enough, this is how crazy things can be sometimes. Right when I'm in the middle of thinking about that and looking for this gift, we get a Christmas card from a family member, and it is a hand-drawn tarot card. It just stuck with me. Everything felt like it was coming together. So for her gift that year, I worked with a local tea shop. I worked with the same tea shop happened to do.

candles i worked with the family member as the artist i purchased some tarot cards and i created the pairing myself i put that uh gift together gave it to her she loved it and the idea just sat with me and so over the last year i made the product

And that's kind of why I'm talking to you today. So I created something called Fourth Ritual. The basic idea is this. Every box is themed around a specific herb. This first box is themed around cinnamon. What we did, I worked with this artist, she picked out three qualities of cinnamon and then hand drew, designed and hand drew Oracle cards, custom Oracle cards around those qualities. And she did her thing. Like, she hand drew, created these.

beautiful cards and then we took that we got a cinnamon custom blended tea we got an unscented candle and sprinkled some of the cinnamon tea on top and then we designed and made something called a ritual card which gives you a space to reflect on your life thus far the last three months roughly

and manifest the next three months and the reason for that three-month timeline is that we're going to be doing a new box a new drop roughly every three months every quarter of 2025. now the goal here Going back to why I started this podcast was to create something that was both fun, a nice gift, interesting, felt good, looked good, but also helped.

actually solve the problem. Now I want to be clear, you know, buying a gift box and drinking some tea and journaling is not going to solve every problem out there. But what I noticed over the last eight years of doing this show is that a huge part of the problem is just getting people to carve out the time required to do the work.

to actually sit with themselves and think about where they are and where they want to go. So many people fail to achieve goals because they've never had the time to sit down and think about what that goal is. Like they don't have goals. So what I'm trying to do with Fourth Ritual is give people every three months a dedicated way to reconnect with themselves, to have some me time.

to enjoy just a moment of calm and to better understand who they are, what's important to them, and where they want to go. And even if... they're not able to do that every day, even if they're not able to engage with that process for as long as they want. Having this box at least gives them an excuse to sit down and do it for a short period of time. So I created the product.

It exists. I just got the final product in the other day. It's gorgeous. You can check out my Instagram or the account Instagram, the product Instagram, which is at Fourth Ritual. All of this is going to be linked in the description. Or you can go to fourthritual.com and take a look. My original goal with this was to find something for my wife as a Christmas gift, as a New Year's gift. And what I've tried to do over the last year was make sure it was ready.

in time for you to have that option as well so if you're still looking for a gift for the person in your life who is is interested in tea interested in tarot interested in self-development wants to have that me time scheduled with themselves next year wants to take their goals more seriously and actually push their lives forward

head over to forthritual.com and pick up a box. Or even if you, looking at the new year, just want to actually have a way to connect with yourself. And as a bonus, If you go to the website fourthritual.com and you purchase a box, and you leave a note letting me know you came from the podcast, or you email me afterwards letting me know you purchased from the podcast, I'm going to include a signed copy of my book. Absolutely free.

That is, of course, while supplies last. I think I've got about 50 of them. So if I've got a book and I find out that you're from the podcast, I'm going to sign a copy, send it to you. I don't know how much of a motivation that is, to be honest, but... The option is there. And as far as what happens next with the show, I'm not sure. I will absolutely say this. I have missed this. And so I'm not sure what's going to happen next.

I want to think about it a little bit further. But I suspect this won't be the last time you hear from me. So until we talk again, just remember that all big changes come from the tiny leaps you take. Every day.