Trauma can overwhelm our kids. So how do we help them transcend it? Adoptive mom Jenny Rose Asher and I go deep on allowing, validating and evaluating feelings on the road to healing. We also explore separating ourselves from the trauma to gain the perspective that helps us be the parents our kids need us to be to support them. Here's a bit about today's guest from her website. Jennifer Rose Asher is the proud mom of 3 wonderful children and lives with her family, dogs, and horses outside of Dal...
Nov 04, 2022•53 min•Ep. 205
If you are afraid you are definitely not alone. Fear is a familiar feeling for all parents but adoption can take it to another level. That's what adult adopted person and retired adoption professional Lynn Deiulis learned working in adoption for 25 years. In this fascinating and empowering episode we get to the very heart of that fear so you can parent with less of it, thrive and help your kids thrive too. Lynn Deiulis was placed on adoption at the age of nine months. Her adoptive parents were a...
Nov 02, 2022•51 min•Ep. 204
Self worth is THE issue for us all. How we see ourselves determines how we see the world. Allison and I both had profound insights about self worth during our conversation. How we see ourselves shifted. So this is a must listen to episode for both adoptees and adoptive parents. If you're an adoptee you're going to want to listen for yourself. If you're an adoptive parent you're going to want to listen for yourself so you can deeper your own understanding. We can't share what we don't have. We ca...
Nov 01, 2022•58 min•Ep. 203
We adoptees have lots of thoughts about adoption. Those thoughts decide how we feel. But what if those thoughts are wrong? And what if being wrong helps us heal? Ed and I explore how his curiosity let him to new discoveries and the truth. He's a great guy with a huge heart for helping us all. Hope you learn as much as I did! Edward Di Gangi was adopted at birth in New York City. An only child, he made no effort to explore his heredity until, at age 69, a visit to a cemetery where members of his ...
Oct 28, 2022•42 min•Ep. 202
Where do we find happiness? Is it nature or nurture? Adoptee Charlotte came through some very tricky times in her adoptive family including her mother's suicide. What's she learned along the way? How has she become who she is? How has focusing on others has helped her be happy. Listen in for a very empowering episode. Dr. Charlotte Laws is an author, columnist, and public speaker. She was the star of the NBC show, “The Filter” (4 years), a political pundit on BBC television (6 years), and a sout...
Oct 26, 2022•56 min•Ep. 201
Did you immerse yourself in learning before adopting and yet still feel you're learning on the job? You're not alone. Adoptive mum/mom Susan has 3 kids all in their twenties. She STILL feels she's learning on the job. Learning never stops. Getting that in our bones reduces the frustration and impatience we sometimes feel. There's always more to learn so Susan shares her insights into connecting with our kids which lies at the foundation of our relationship with them. Relationships start with us....
Oct 24, 2022•1 hr 19 min•Ep. 200
Mary Beth has 7 kids including 2 adopted from China and one from foster care. Ahead of our conversation she talked to her kids about what what helps them thrive. We talk about this and go deep into the meaning of adoption, taking things personally, empathy and understanding. Here's a bit about Mary Beth's non profit: We want to see all waiting children placed in a family in which they can thrive. To that end, we will work to facilitate the adoption of the worlds waiting children into loving chri...
Oct 17, 2022•1 hr 19 min•Ep. 198
Adoptee writers Alice and Marci go deep on changing the narrative around around adoption. We explore changing the narrative out there in the world and the narrative within. What others say about us and what we say to ourselves. It's all about self-empowerment, healing, sharing and learning from others. Listen in for a great conversation with two people who really know how to inspire themselves and other adoptees. MARCI CALABRETTA CANCIO-BELLO Founding Co-Director Marci Calabretta Cancio-Bello is...
Oct 14, 2022•54 min•Ep. 198
If you're an adoptee looking to find your birth parents, listen in. Jay shares over 30 years of knowledge on both the practical and emotional aspects of search. A fantastic big picture overview with lots of great little nuggets. Birthparentfinder.com is the creation of Jay Rosenzweig, an award-winning California private investigator. Jay has been licensed for over 30 years and has spent the majority of his career focused on locating people. In 2006, after receiving numerous requests by adoptees ...
Oct 13, 2022•48 min•Ep. 197
We've all felt shame - it's part of the human experience. But beyond it lies the peace we seek for ourselves and those we love. So how do we get to the other side of shame? Marcy and I go DEEP into this in one of my favourite conversations so far. We hope you love it too. Here's how Marcy describes herself on her website: Jesus-follower, mom to 4 humans, two adopted through the foster system and two biological, multi-passionate mompreneur, best-selling author, international and 2xs TEDx speaker,...
Oct 12, 2022•53 min•Ep. 196
GINA ROGERS – PRESIDENT Gina Rogers is a dynamic, passionate individual who is eager to serve at-risk children and families. Currently, Gina works at Boys Town North Florida on the Development Team; her title is the site’s Donor Relations Specialist . Gina has earned both her bachelor’s and master’s degrees in Social Work and has been certified in Child Welfare Practice as well as Leadership in Executive and Administrative Development. Gina is determined to serve children and families in need an...
Oct 10, 2022•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 195
Jenni Alpert (Cami) - Singer, songwriter, guitarist, and pianist Jenni Alpert (Birth name: Cameron, Cami) was born in Los Angeles, CA and adopted out of the foster care system at the age of four. She started to sing and play piano while staying in various foster homes. With the encouragement and support of her adoptive family, she learned to play the guitar as well and began writing and record songs early. With her honest rich songwriting and soothing musical melodies, songstress Jenni Alpert’s ...
Oct 06, 2022•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 194
Richard Rose is the Director of Therapeutic Life Story Work International (TLSWi). TLSWi provides consultancy and training on Therapeutic Life Story Work and working with ‘hard to reach’ children and adolescents and develops academic training programmes in the UK and Internationally. TLSWi is also the professional body for Therapeutic Life Story Work and engages in research, supervision and professional development of all members. Richard has worked with traumatised children and families since h...
Oct 03, 2022•1 hr•Ep. 193
Seasoned professionals Phil and Mike share 2 lifetimes worth of insights, learning and understanding into what helps adopted kids thrive. Given the depth and breadth of their experience there's a host of nuggets here, so settle in for your own learning. Phil Scarpelli is the President and CEO of the Brevard Family Partnership Family of Agencies. Phil joined the Brevard Family Partnership in November 2018. Since the inception of privatization, he has been proudly involved in Florida’s child welfa...
Sep 28, 2022•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 192
Adoptee & therapist Brett dives deep into how we change. We want to change and yet the work involved seems daunting. Why is that? How does safety keep us stuck? How does adoption impact safety? Where's the freedom from this for adoptees? It's an empowering and uplifting conversation. Here's some info on Brett and the Center he works at from their website. Dr. Brett Furst holds a B.S. in Child and Adolescent Development from The University of California, Davis, an M.A. in Marriage and Family ...
Sep 26, 2022•56 min•Ep. 191
Therapy is often seen as THE route to overcoming trauma and thriving. Mentoring is less known and less common. In this episode I interview mentor Jessica on the benefits of mentoring to help adoptees thrive. Listen in for insights, aha moments and personal learnings. Jessica is a transracial adoptee born in Bogota, Colombia who grew up in Long Island, New York. She is an Adoptee Advocate, working to create supportive spaces for adoptees and their families. Jessica was one of the founding mentors...
Sep 14, 2022•58 min•Ep. 190
Life can feel really tough when our kids are showing the signs of their trauma. Adoptive mom of two Heather has been there and felt like throwing in the towel. So how do we get past this? How do we ride the emotional rollercoaster that is parenting kids from tough places? Heather goes deep on self regulation, unconditional love, absolute security and tapping into a source bigger than ourselves so our families thrive. Heather T. Forbes, LCSW , is the owner of the Beyond Consequences Institute and...
Sep 09, 2022•55 min•Ep. 189
Known stories heal. So how do we do that? Adoptive mom and story expert Alisa shares a host of practical insights into this vital topic. She breaks the process down for adoptive parents so they can gather and share their child's story in an empowering and healing way. Here's a bit about Alisa and her organisation from her website: Alisa Matheson received a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology , with an emphasis on Marriage and Family Counseling, in 2017 from the University of Northwestern – St....
Aug 30, 2022•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 188
Being where the other is. Putting ourselves in our kids' shoes. Seeing life through their lens. Maria goes deep on how we build empathy and connection with our kids to help them heal and thrive. Maria Nanos, LCSW, Ph.D., is the Chief Executive Officer of the Greenlight Family Services. Dr. Nanos received her Ph.D. in Clinical Social Work from the Institute for Clinical Social Work in Chicago and her masters in social work at Jane Addams, University of Illinois. Dr. Nanos’ clinical career began i...
Aug 26, 2022•49 min•Ep. 187
If our kids come from trauma life can be dark. Where's the bright light of hope? It's in neuro-plasticity, the brain's built in capacity to change. Melissa translates the science into every day language we can all understand and sets out practical ways to harness neuroplasticity so our kids can thrive. Melissa is an adoptee and adoptive mom. Here's a bit about her and her organisation from their website Patrick and I are parents to six by both birth and adoption (ages 14-23). Our open-door polic...
Aug 25, 2022•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 186
Lindsay Hermida helped Lindsay Rustan adopt. She's now raising 6 (yes 6!) teenagers. Her gold dust insight absolutely blew me away. So be sure to listen out for it. As a high school teacher Lindsay is ideally placed to explain what goes on within the educational system. Her knowledge puts you in a better place to get the support your kids are due. Listen in as the three of us go deep on adopting from foster care and explore advocating for your kids. Lindsay Hermida worked in the foster care syst...
Aug 22, 2022•50 min•Ep. 185
The title may cause some to question this episode or simply not listen to it. I chose the topic out of deep respect for Herbie's beliefs and because I know a lot of adopters are religious too. I was also curious as to where we'd go. I'm not a religious person but my own healing experience appears to be more spiritual than psychological. More magic than logic. That's why healing can't be set out in a step by step rational process. Rewiring our brains isn't like rewiring a plug. It's magical. I wo...
Aug 17, 2022•51 min•Ep. 184
How do transracial adoptees come to terms with feelings of loss and shame? Clare shares what she's learning as we dive deep into mental health and limiting beliefs. We also touch on physical health given her wake up call after being diagnosed with diabetes. Inspirational. Check out Claire's amazing letter to herself here https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uCIJtEfcEAkrz_NiZTjer_0JKB-kpyxMhbXrKZxzTKc/edit Connect with her here: https://www.facebook.com/claire.magenheimer https://www.instagram.com...
Aug 15, 2022•54 min•Ep. 183
Life can be chaotic for all families. So how do get comfortable with the chaos? What do we focus on to help our kids thrive? How do we need to be so that happen? Danielle dives deep into humility, vulnerability, re-thinking our own past. Boldly being wrong about who we think we are and what we do changes our lives for the better. Here are links to the book from my mentor that I recommend in the interview: https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Your-Fault-Choosing-ebook/dp/B07957XB9T/ref=sr_1_1?crid=34D7...
Aug 12, 2022•1 hr 20 min•Ep. 182
Adoptee Emma shares what she's learned about how we break from addiction whether that's our thinking or other addictions like alcohol. It's a particularly profound episode. I hope you find it as powerfully enlightening and empowering as I did. Emma Stevens is a U.S. domestic adoptee from birth and has survived layers of trauma that have put her on multiple journeys. She developed the inner strength and courage to surmount the many struggles she faced. Her traumas were born from being an adoptee ...
Aug 10, 2022•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 183
A low sense of self worth can plague adoptees. So how do we make our kids see their iron clad value? To be comfortable in their own skins? How does being a transracial adoptee play out in this issue which is in fact all about identity? What do we need to do to help our kids with this? Adoptive dad, counselor and professor Dr Mark Andrews shares his empowering answers to these tricky questions. Here's a bit about Mark from his website: "My own experience as an adoptive parent since 1994 has also ...
Aug 08, 2022•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 181
Mike's sense of self crumbled on finding out he was adopted at 9. It took him decades to become secure in himself. How did he? What can we learn to unleash our own greatness? How can we be more of who we truly are? Listen in with big ears. Our greatest learnings often come from the toughest times. Here's a bit about Mike from his website: "When I was nine, my parents told me I was adopted, and it shattered my sense of identity and belonging. After that point, I believed being “perfect” was the o...
Aug 05, 2022•48 min•Ep. 180
Kelly thought that her experience raising 3 bio kids, her knowledge of trauma and qualifications in children and infant mental health would make raising her adopted child straightforward. It was anything but. Listen as we take a deep dive into what she learned and continues to learn. We explore helping kids adjust to new environments, building trust, vulnerability and more. Kelly's gift to listeners is her openness to share what she's learned about herself. Empowering and insightful. Kelly found...
Aug 03, 2022•45 min•Ep. 179
Here's the link to the other podcast episode on unpacking our own baggage as adoptive parents that I mention in the interview https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/unpacking-our-own-baggage-as-adoptive-parents-with-hollyann-petree-mom-executive-director Marcy and her husband adopted a biological sibling pair. While remote schooling my children during the pandemic, she began to see a gap between adults with a desire to adopt and the 115,000 adoptable children within the United States....
Aug 01, 2022•44 min•Ep. 178
Connect with me at www.simonbenn.co.uk email simon@thrivingadoptees.com Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.
Jul 29, 2022•21 min•Ep. 177
