Dr G has the beans get all lukewarm under the collar about seagulls this week. Voted the animal least likely to be of any use in warfare four years running and Time Magazine’s “Worst Pet Experiment” (2003), the seagull is largely unloved by its human neighbours. Indeed a major survey by Ipsos MORI discovered that 99.23% of seagull based anecdotes cast the seagulls as the villain of the piece (and the remaining 0.77% were believed to be fabricated). Can the beans find an upside to the seagull? Or...
Jul 02, 2025•1 hr•Season 17Ep. 5
The presumably unreconstructed Nick of Chicago feeds “Old Wives’ Tales” into the Bean Machine which spew-jects it just at the moment the beans are after a topic so that’s what it is. Is there no such thing as an “Old Husbands’ Tale” because husbands have no tales? Or because they typically die younger and therefore before reaching tale-telling maturity? The beans don’t know and make no effort to go into it whatsoever. With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Join our PATREON for ad-free episode...
Jun 25, 2025•1 hr 1 min•Season 17Ep. 4
They say if you remember the 60s then you didn’t really do yourself any serious brain damage in the 60s. Perhaps someone in that situation would be well placed to offer some thoughts on arguably the most famous decade of all time. Gabby of Worthing eschews such a source and instead seeks definitive banter on the 60s from the three beans who, between them, own almost one Lovin’ Spoonful CD. With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: w...
Jun 18, 2025•1 hr 6 min•Season 17Ep. 3
The beans have avoided it for as long as possible but Roddy of London has spoken and what he spake is “Moths”. This could be a fearsomely difficult listen for anyone with a loathing of moths or this podcast. The beans, however, are inexorably drawn to lukewarm banter just as the badger is drawn to the dual carriageway and so they chat the chat that must finally be chatted. With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/th...
Jun 10, 2025•1 hr 6 min•Season 17Ep. 2
Sean of Exeter kicks off a hot summer of lukewarm banter by suggesting the beans discuss wild camping. Sub-topics could but don’t include how to make a tent out of your own trousers, evading predators by setting them against each other and if “north” is effectively the top of a huge ball, will your compass still work if that ball rolls a bit? With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Tickets for our UK...
Jun 04, 2025•1 hr 1 min•Season 17Ep. 1
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until June). Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad TOUR TICKETS: https://littlewander.co.uk/tours/three-bean-salad-podcast/
May 07, 2025•4 min•Season 16Ep. 10
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday April and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month out of respect for all that is holy) Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod...
Apr 30, 2025•18 min•Season 16Ep. 9
George is a native of Stockport, birthplace of The Renaissance, and so it is little wonder he has chosen that very topic for this week’s episode. Are we on the cusp of another renaissance? Might we be better of with a de-renaissance to make everything simpler just for a bit. It’s chunky fodder to be sure so why not let the beans mince it down smooth for you while you expend your mental energy on inventing whatever it is that will eventually replace the pendulum. With thanks to our editor Laura G...
Apr 23, 2025•1 hr 5 min•Season 16Ep. 8
Ella from Cambridge but currently in Cuba has offered up language as this week’s topic. Could she have known that the beans would not only take on this crucial subject with rigour and courage but they would use actual language to do so!!! With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Tickets for our UK TOUR available here: https://littlewander.co.uk/tours/three-bean-salad-podcast/ Merch now available here:...
Apr 16, 2025•1 hr•Season 16Ep. 7
You will no doubt have a strong opinion on ham. It has been a muse to poets, a justification for war lords, a promise between lovers. It is mankind’s cornerstone. But ham salad? That’s something many of us have never truly got to grips with in theory or practice. Thanks then to Michigan-based wildcard Douglas for giving the beans this urgently needed topic for this week’s episode. Hocks away. With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes...
Apr 09, 2025•59 min•Season 16Ep. 6
It’s Helen of Bristol’s turn to feed the bean machine this week which has led to the topic being festivals. Of course there’s a festival for bloody everything these days and they’re not like they used to be even the ones that didn’t exist previously probably but you can’t even say that in public most likely and so and so forth. With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Tickets for our tour available at this link from 10am on Friday 4th April 2025: https://littlewander.co.uk/tours/three-bean-sala...
Apr 02, 2025•1 hr 1 min•Season 16Ep. 5
Evidence that Vikings used toothpicks has been found in Eastern Sweden according to Big Archaeology. And who would dare to disagree with them, let alone needlessly argue the toss just for the sake of it? The beans, that’s who. Maybe be these so called ‘toothpicks’ were in fact used to score games of Nordic cribbage? Maybe they were used to stop complex burgers falling apart? Or maybe they were tiny spears for skewering mini-monks? Either way, ta very much indeed to Ben of Minnesota for selecting...
Mar 25, 2025•1 hr•Season 16Ep. 4
What are the beans really but gardeners of knowledge? For the benefit of all mankind they nurture the seeds of data, strip away the weeds of untruth and, from time to time, obscure everything in a great steaming pile of donkey shit. Thank you then to Matt from Chester-upon-Bremen for choosing the highly apposite topic of gardening for this week’s podcast. With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Tickets for short film screening: https://www.chapter.org/whats-on/spring-comedy-shorts-2025 Join ou...
Mar 19, 2025•1 hr 7 min•Season 16Ep. 3
Samuel of 84A High Street chooses giants as this week’s topic and no doubt he has his reasons. Should you wish to know those reasons the beans are unable to help but you could always spend the rest of your days ringing on the doorbell of every 84A High Street on Earth until you track down Samuel so you can ask the man himself unless he’s given us a false name or a false address or has moved during your quest or is simply out. With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Join our PATREON for ad-free...
Mar 12, 2025•1 hr•Season 16Ep. 2
What is your council tax liability if you build a holiday bungalow in outer orbit? How would you recycle all that cosmic glassware? And most importantly, would the lukewarm banter of your favourite podcast freeze in the cold void of space? Callum of Oxsted clearly doesn’t know the answers to any of these questions bless him and so has suggested space travel tourism for the first topic of spring. Take it away, beans! With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes ...
Mar 05, 2025•1 hr 4 min•Season 16Ep. 1
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until March). But sign up to PATREON for weekly bonus episodes throughout March, ad-free episodes and more: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Ticket links for Henry's work-in-progress shows: https://www.angelcomedy.co.uk/event-detail/henry-paker-illustratinator-wip-thu-3rd-apr-the-bill-murray-london-tickets-202504031830/ https://museumofcomedy.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/shows/873652303...
Feb 05, 2025•13 min•Season 15Ep. 11
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday January and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month out of respect for natural law, magnets and the tides) Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod...
Jan 29, 2025•9 min•Season 15Ep. 10
Steven of Oslo suggests DIY as the topic for this week’s episode so if you’re looking for the audio equivalent of a double-treaded sub-insulated Type D prog-backed 9mm helix arched reverse spiral pentagonal retaining bolt shackle with adjustable nose you’ve come to the right place.With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansalad...
Jan 22, 2025•1 hr 3 min•Season 15Ep. 9
We will never know if Guy Fawkes’ grim end would have changed had his barrister not gone for the “He only wanted to make the Houses of Parliament lukewarm” defence. Perhaps Mr Fawkes himself would have drawn comfort from the fact that, thanks to Georgia of York, he is now (and for the first time ever presumably) memorialised in podcast form: a medium he could have had no understanding of and likely would have suspected was a concoction of Satan or a Dutch conspiracy. Join our PATREON for ad-free...
Jan 15, 2025•1 hr 1 min•Season 15Ep. 8
A bean sharp scalpel is applied to a literary classic this week as Robin from Weymouth suggests the topic of Peter Pan. Could we have had Darth Vader without Tinkerbell? Could we have had a robo-handed Luke Skywalker without Captain Hook? Where does Chewbacca fit into all this? Answers on a postcard please. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.co...
Jan 08, 2025•1 hr 5 min•Season 15Ep. 7
The railway is this week’s topic thanks to Nick of Kent (which for our international listeners is “The Garden of England” according to Kent. It is also unusual as a county as it categorises each man born in Kent as either a “Kentish Man” or “Man of Kent” depending on which side of the River Medway they were born: a taxonomy which wilfully excludes men who live in Kent but weren’t born there, all women, nonbinary folk, children, etc, you name it. Nigel Farage is originally from Kent) which the be...
Jan 01, 2025•54 min•Season 15Ep. 6
To date the indisputable peak of human scientific endeavour has been managing to hide a bonus track on a CD. The natural next summit is to hide a bonus door on an advent calendar. Will we see this achieved in our lifetime? Unlikely. Therefore please console yourselves with this bonus episode of Three Bean Salad, not hidden but visible and available to all. This episode is exclusively dedicated to the extraordinary response to the request for rat based anecdotes. Know then that it is not for the ...
Dec 29, 2024•1 hr 4 min•Season 15Ep. 5
Tis the Yule and Jacob from Manchester very cannily suggests hippos as this week’s topic. In Aesop’s fable, the hippo is humiliated by being left out of any accounts of the Nativity and, according to Hans Christian Andersen, rather than sharing its feelings with its closest friend, the Little Mermaid, retreats to the Nile and dedicates itself to be able to run faster than you’d think it could. Perhaps by honouring the hippo on this special day we can bring its troubled narrative to a happy close...
Dec 25, 2024•1 hr 3 min•Season 15Ep. 4
Annie of Cork City reckons it’s high time the beans talked monuments and who could argue with that? Tune in for a lukewarm take on this zeitgeistiest of topics which incorporates everything from art to politics to nougat. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod...
Dec 18, 2024•1 hr 2 min•Season 15Ep. 3
Most of us can only dream of the splendour of the internal spaces occupied by London’s elite. A lucky few might have a neighbour who’s made it big on the pools, bought one of those glossy magazines with photos of a Londoner in their parlour and invited the whole street round to have a squiz. This week on the Three Bean Salad Podcast, the beans are knocking dreams and glossy magazines into cocked hat as their very own topflight Londoner gives the inside scoop on some of his earliest interior desi...
Dec 11, 2024•59 min•Season 15Ep. 2
Steven of Utrecht gets the beans wagging them tongues about the Netherlands to kick the new season off. And why the bloody hell not? After all the beans have all visited that great nation in the past and therefore it’s safe to assume each has taken a deep, deep, deep dive into its history, culture and miscellaneous to the point where an informative yet entertaining conversation will surely be second nature. ¡Feliz cumpleaños! Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www...
Dec 04, 2024•1 hr 10 min•Season 15Ep. 1
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until December). Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad
Nov 06, 2024•18 min•Season 14Ep. 10
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday October and we only do four episodes a month - take it up with our lawyer, Julian Calendar) Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod...
Oct 30, 2024•5 min•Season 14Ep. 9
Put your seat back into the reclining position (but only if you have the express consent of the person behind you who has also ideally reclined their seat with the express consent of the person behind them ad infinitum etc), shove a lukewarm bean in each ear and enjoy a third bean as a mid-flight snack for only €79.99 for Joe from York has suggested budget airlines as this week’s topic. That may mean BYO sandwich, BYO magazine and BYO sick-bag but the lukewarm chat is complementary. Bean voyage....
Oct 22, 2024•1 hr 3 min•Season 14Ep. 8
Dan from Bremen chooses sharks for this week’s topic as well he might. After all, just as the shark is a perfectly evolved apex predator, so is the bean a perfectly evolved apex legume. No one wants three sharks to team up: that would simply lead to a bloodbath. Three beans on the other hand means a lukewarm banter bath and everyone’s invited (special rubber socks will be supplied for those with untreated athlete’s foot or verrucas). Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus epis...
Oct 15, 2024•1 hr 1 min•Season 14Ep. 7
