Can you believe we're one year old!?! Only seventeen more years, boys. They just keep getting younger, huh? For our anniversary episode, we make the holy pilgrimage to the Thot Topics Mecca: IKEA. We follow the winding paths in search of truth, liberty, justice, and most importantly: a freakin' bargain! Advance warning that we are definitely "queering" audio quality on this one. It's a complex experimental listening experience-- a beautiful one, if you have the stomach for it. We certainly do-- ...
Jan 22, 2021•1 hr 12 min•Ep. 49
Shake some ass you sexy juicy faggots! The Thot Topics WETland safari is about to embark on the expedition of a lifetime. Cats and cannibals and chemtrails: oh me, oh my! First, the girls give their take on the "events" that "unfolded" at the Capitol. Spoiler alert: it's literally the most salient analysis you will ever hear on the situation. More importantly, we decide once and for all whether or not it was okay to think that guy in the viking costume was hot. We also take off our turquoise AND...
Jan 15, 2021•1 hr 25 min•Ep. 48
Oh fuck, oh no... we think we left our pussy in our other jeans. God dammit! We hate when this happens, we're so forgetful. Can you gives us a minute? We might have a travel-size in our purse... For the first time in what seems like forever, and certainly for the first time in 2021, it's just. us. girls. And boy did we have a lot of pent-up psychosis. First, we look back on 2020 AND look to the future with our new years' resolutions. But it's not all about us: we flex our clapback at the Flo Mil...
Jan 06, 2021•1 hr 15 min•Ep. 47
It's a new year, and though it may be out with the old and in with the new, some things NEVER muthafuckin' change-- specifically, a good old fashioned sexy and stimulating girls' chat-- and this week, we have one with none other than THEE Paul Cupo from Not Really! As balls prepare to drop throughout the country, we purge the remaining demons of the year over a FRESH can of Squirt (a drink that Paul did not know existed). We discuss our new years' resolutions, expanding the definition of "tearin...
Jan 02, 2021•1 hr 14 min•Ep. 46
We know the title's a mouthful, but we think you've all proven you can take it like a man! This episode is the Lucky Pierre in the pillow-bitingly girthy three-part crossover POPULAR THOT REVOLUTION in which Twink Revolution, Thot Topics, and I'm So Popular recap the year of our lord 2020 in excruciating detail. Here, we talk May through August: to hear Part 1, follow your nose to Twink Revolution ; to hear Part 3, offer yourself at the altar of I'm So Popular. This week, the ladies have a meat-...
Dec 24, 2020•1 hr 15 min•Ep. 45
This week, we take a festive load of holiday spirit to the face. You better believe that the sleigh bells are ringaling AND ring-ting-tingaling to boot. We slip on velveteen footie pajamas and leave the zipper low enough to make the whole family uncomfortable. If Santa can bring toys to all the children in the world in a single night, then we can cover the week's online drama with just as much conviction. We get to the bottom of whether you need to be "intelligent" and "not Mexican" to understan...
Dec 17, 2020•1 hr 24 min•Ep. 44
Picture this, bitch: four Completely Krazy homosexuals combine their powers on the first night of Hanukkah to form a podcasting Megazord. Haters cower in fear; the joint slay is maximized; only God stands in their way. In layman's terms, this week we host the crossover event of a lifetime-- the girls are joined by Juan and Josh of Hot Local Singles! On our graves, it couldn't be juicier. We completely tore it. There's very little we don't talk about this week. First, we join hands with Zola Jesu...
Dec 11, 2020•1 hr 23 min•Ep. 43
Sure, Thanksgiving may have come and gone, but mere time is not strong enough to stop two young girls from having an Urky-Turkey Pilgrimtastic Thanksgiving Special! The discourse cornucopia is practically bursting at its pretty wicker seams, and boy, have we got a mind to tear that hoe up. First, we wish Elliot Page a very pleasant evening (dudes rock!) and wonder whether it's time to put the ancient art of the Coming Out Letter to bed for good. Then, we unpack the 2021 Grammy nominations: we ge...
Dec 03, 2020•1 hr 21 min•Ep. 42
What are we? We're fucking Barack destroyers, babe... It's International Men's Day, and what better way to celebrate the global purveyors of dick 'n' balls than to invite another expert on the matter to our intimate set? Beloved chaotic-good Twitter gay and all-around sweetheart @Maxxi_Pad joins us for one of our girliest chit-chats of all time: we were gonna make some Barbies scissor, but before we knew it, we'd loosed our lips on far more pressing matters. With closed minds and open legs, we a...
Nov 20, 2020•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 41
678-TRIPLENINE-8212!!!! Baby! You know that we miss you! We just wanna kiss you, but we can't right now so baby kiss us thru the pod! This week, we mourn Nick's suspended Twitter account and start the fight for edgelord RIGHTS! Then, it's a week of cum-back singles-- we review Lil Nas X's "coming out as a bottom" banger "Holiday," the new geriatric jam from 3OH!3, Slayyyter's dick-suckin' single "Throatzilla" and Billie Eilish's "Piece of Me" moment "Therefore I Am." This is our first episode wh...
Nov 14, 2020•1 hr 15 min•Ep. 40
And crowwwn thy good, with siiiiiisterhood, from C to shining U-N-T! It's November 3rd and it's a retardy in the USA. We attempt to survive the absolute psychic torture of the NBC coverage of the election for an early cuntrunner, but we wind up throwing in the towel and settling for a silly test of the mind while we intermittently check on the results. We discover if we're smarter than a fifth grader (we kind of are) AND how many random Nicki Minaj bars we can fill in the blanks of. Eventually, ...
Nov 04, 2020•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 39
Boo, girl! They're heeeeere! (Get it? We have a new episode lol.) This week, it's the Thot Topics Halloween Spooktacular-- and we talk about all things spooky, scary, frightening, or otherwise: what are our biggest fears? What are we going to be for Halloween? Take it from two graveyard smashes: it's a ghoulishly girly little chat. Then, it's down to business, and frankly, this is some of our spiciest discussion ever: we unpack the claim that "chaser" is a "slur" for "pansexuals." (Scare quotes ...
Oct 29, 2020•1 hr 27 min•Ep. 38
THOT TOPICS TRY NOT TO CUM COMP (HARD!) We hear you. We see you. And we at Thot Topics are committed to doing better for minority voices. That's why this week, we've invited possibly the most persecuted voice in the history of bisexuality: River Page! (@leftyotter) Trust the duchess when she says that three truly IS company. This week, we review the new Hulu covid documentary "Totally Under Control," two hours of softcore porn for people who hate God. In the process we answer the most pressing q...
Oct 25, 2020•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 37
You stand accused of being in contempt of CUNT! Now let the freakin' music play! This week, three strong, brave, empowered women stand before us: Hunter Biden, Billie Eyelash, and Cardi B (not to be confused with Coney B, our white woman of the hour). In a Top Model-style elimination, we decide whose leaked photos are the most embarrassing and SPOILER ALERT, it's not cool hooker-fucking crackhead. But that's not all-- we decide once and for all whether "sexual preference" is offensive to America...
Oct 15, 2020•1 hr 26 min•Ep. 36
FEAR the Qdobavirus, it's comin' for that ass girl!!! We shotgunned some iced coffee before recording so Creative Juices were leaking out of our fucking eyes and pitter-pattering all over the floor this week. It's the night of the VP debates, but we have far juicier fish to fry: we discuss Trump's 'Rona diagnosis (AND that sweet dumptruck ass), how Kamala can still win (this season of Drag Race), AND the gay guy selfie takeover of the Proud Boys hashtag (and every other hashtag in history)-- all...
Oct 08, 2020•1 hr 17 min•Ep. 35
Wow, now we REALLY aren't voting! It's time for some more serious political newscasting. This week, we defend Playmate of the Union Melania Trump and her rights to the status of gay icon of American history despite the pathetic objections of the freaks over at "Queerty." Then, we tune in to the OTHER queer media--CNN-- and recap the events of the first presidential debate. Does Biden stand a chance? What would a Democratic victory actually change? Has anyone seen my dog!? But that's not all: we ...
Oct 02, 2020•1 hr 22 min•Ep. 34
Content warning: g*nitals. OUR g*nitals. Beloved himbos and hetards of the Thot Topics sisterhood, have we got an episode for you. For the first time in what seems like months there's actually some shit to talk about-- and we are in there like swimwear, babe. First, we discuss the voting hysteria and that ad that implores you to #GetYourBootyToThePoll. (We endorse these strippers!) Then, we unpack the pre-unpacked Lady Gaga video for her, uhh, "hit single" 911. LASTLY (as if that wasn't enough f...
Sep 24, 2020•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 33
Ooky spooky... Ladies, today, we come to you hoping that you can take us as we are: not as faggots, not as podcasters, but as... oh, god, this is so hard... g... g-gaymers!!! We recorded an episode with a close sister of the pod but we fucked up the audio so badly that we decided to workshop it a bit and give it to you in its best form. In the meantime, we offer you this: an EMERGENCY episode! We used up all of the news of the week on the delayed episode, so today, pull up a vibrating gaming cha...
Sep 18, 2020•1 hr 23 min•Ep. 32
{Demi Lovato voice} Did you forget... Rest in peace to the chicks who were dying to be us on 9/11 (we were three and sooooo skinny)-- and to those new pledges from the Twink Revolution Extended Universe, uhm... we are simply cheesed to meet you... It's just us girls again. Both of us didn't get jobs we were really excited about but we come to you, the listeners, with our hearts open and our panties dropped with the intent to exorcise those demons. We do a pretty good job by projecting our anger ...
Sep 11, 2020•1 hr 26 min•Ep. 31
Yeah, we're gay. Keep scrolling. кто бы говорил! This week, we have Sam and Gian of Twink Revolution Podcast over for the sweatiest, bounciest slumber party/pillow fight of all time! Wait... omg, did we leave the door open? Ugh! Our eyes are up here, pervert! This girls' night is strictly business, baby: we get to the bottom of the Twink Rev origin story, guide the twinks on a journey as they tap into their inner stan/misogynist, then dish on Lady Gaga's, uhh, "breathless" VMA performance. Plus:...
Sep 03, 2020•1 hr 35 min•Ep. 30
Gosh, is it bad to say that we had a Grand Old Time with the ladies of the RNC? Beats fuckin Billy Porter that's for sure, and this is definitely some of our best episode music of all time... This week, we leave no stone unturned, no ass unwiped, no conversion therapy uncompleted, and no president unseated! Try to keep up, bitch. We recap the RNC, ponder why jumping in a moving train doesn't send you flying to the back, discuss Lohanthony's dishonorable discharge from homosexuality, and ask some...
Aug 27, 2020•1 hr 20 min•Ep. 29
We are fucking under attack!!! Download CUNT WARS. Pretty slow news week, but we had a lot of fun doing the albums bracket a few weeks back, so we decide to loose our hottest takes about every pop girl (and man!) in the industry one by one in a race to the TOP! (Lol) All we DO this week is pit women against each other: Rihanna and Beyonce, Katy and Gaga, Demi and Selena, Bieber and Styles, and so many more. Plus, we choose a side in the great Billy Porter/Randy Rainbow divide, and celebrate the ...
Aug 20, 2020•1 hr 27 min•Ep. 28
Loosen up, girlies-- cuz this episode? We lay it on THICK. This week, we're hot on the scene (we wore tennis skirts and noooo panties) of the "crime" involving Congressional hopeful Alex Morse, the mayor of Bumfuck, Massachusetts and his supposed flirtations with college students. But that's not all: we also unpack Kamala Harris's veep nomination and talk about suppressing the gay urge to support a woman with nice hair and legs in spite of her hobby of terrorizing communities. Of course, we also...
Aug 13, 2020•1 hr 19 min•Ep. 27
Hey, do you like fitness? We'll then you're gonna LOVE fitness episode in those wet little ears of yours. This week (bitch you guessed it!) we review the new Beyonce "film" Black Is King-- plus, we reimagine what it could've looked like if she actually used good music (RELAX-- we mean her own). Lucky for you we opt for only one racially charged conversation topic-- instead, we look inward at our experiences in P.E. class to answer to one of this week's hottest online takes: if gym class was less...
Aug 06, 2020•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 26
The leading ladies of the WNBA (Women's National Bussy Association) reports live COURTSIDE at Thot Topics Stadium sponsored by Roblox!! It's the first week of July Juladness and we are itching for some hot, sweaty sportsmanlike behavior!! We've taken the liberty of constructing a bracket of the year's definitive albums as told by gay guys around the world-- and we plan to get to the BOTTOM of it. Lol! From Future Nostalgia to Flo Milli, EVERYONE (no really, everyone) has a chance to claim the to...
Jul 28, 2020•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 25
Are we sucking you off? (Nope.) Didn't think so! GOD, you guys are lucky to have us. With the help of dearly beloved friend of the pod Cole Cunningham, we boldly go where no group of homosexuals has gone before: the world of musical theater. In other words, we tried to watch the three hour long minstrel show that is Hamilton on Disney+, but truly could not bear all of the extremely earnest rap written by someone who had clearly never listened to rap before in their entire life. We fast-forwarded...
Jul 21, 2020•1 hr 18 min•Ep. 24
Get in the fucking pan, since you wanna act onions! God this episode was a fucking slog to get through... in the first-ever technical difficulties in Thot Topics recorded history, we lost FIFTEEN GODDAMN MINUTES OF AUDIO from our first take and had to start fresh. We handle it okay but our mournful mood looms large over this episode. Since God came down and took our scathing hot Fire Island takes from the world and my hard drive, we instead turn to the Harper's Magazine open letter calling to CA...
Jul 08, 2020•59 min•Ep. 23
In what is truly our most avant-garde episode of all time, we finally fulfill a career-long dream of ours: podcasting LIVE from Olive Garden! And trust the duchess when she says the Artist Is Present. Really, what DON'T we talk about? Over a piping hot plate of shrimp carbonara, we review the new Hulu series Love, Victor, which was written by straight-questioning life forms from another fucking planet. Then, we take on the week's most savory issues: YouTuber cancellations, Lena Dunham and white ...
Jun 29, 2020•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 22
Lucky you, we're back! And the discourse was firmly in our wheelhouse this week: if there are two things in this godforsaken world that we know, it's being a teen, and having sex. In our first episode as *former roommates*, we dish all our dirty little secrets on sexual agency, online chatrooms, whether the stats of rape culture can be applied to Twitter, and wonder if we've done a little grooming ourselves. What a world!! Then, it's back to the stuff that REALLY matters: Nicki and Tekashi's "Tr...
Jun 23, 2020•1 hr 23 min•Ep. 21
Well, we knew it was only a matter of time before homosexuality extended its foul grip over the discourse, and to no one's surprise, here we are! Luckily, it's our BIcentenniel and we're feeling pretty spicy. This week, we discuss the pride parade and whether or not it's an event that should be safe for work, much less for children. (Spoiler alert: ♪fuck no baaaby!♪) Then, after sitting with it for several weeks we finally loose our lips on Chromatica-- but not before getting distracted by headl...
Jun 11, 2020•1 hr 19 min•Ep. 20
