Family Support on the Path to Mental Wellness

I hope you're having a wonderful week , meeting your health goals and remembering to reset when needed . In last week's episode we talked about overcoming the barriers of disconnection and building upon those relationships to help you thrive and cultivate your confidence and desire to want to be a part of your world again .

These connections are so important for you , when easing back into peopling and out of isolation , and so is finding the delicate balance of using this support wisely so as not to cause burnout for those who are there for you . A close friend of mine , whom I consider a sister because she has known me and my family for such a long time .

I just consider her an extension of our small family unit . What I didn't know was that we'd both end up having mental health issues . When we were older , she was diagnosed well before me , but , as I said before , I didn't pry or ask about her situation until she was ready to talk about it . Years later , when we finally had the conversation .

I initiated it because I was just dealing with my diagnosis and needed to understand them better . She became a confident and supporter . She helped me understand how this world of psychiatry and medication worked and that someday I may need to be hospitalized , which later on I did .

She helped me on a level that a doctor or anyone in the mental world could never have helped me understand , and I was so happy to have her as I began my walk to understanding and healing .

We called each other often to help talk each other off our ledges , listen to what may have triggered an emotion and sometimes just talk about our lives and what has caused such traumas in them . But one day she stopped taking my calls . I thought that was odd and didn't know what to think about it , so I gave her time .

A couple of months went by and again no response , and I gave her more time . This began to make me worry because I knew that at any time either of us could have a major setback and I thought that was this .

So I messaged her and I asked if she was alright , because I was very worried and if she didn't respond , I was coming to her house , which is out of state , but I was going to show up . She got back to me and it was a very short message saying that she was okay . I knew her well enough to know that she just needed time , so I left her alone .

I text her so often just to see if she's okay . She responds and I feel so much better . We finally had a long conversation about what was going on in her life and in mine , and we know that we are in better places . But she needed her space . Some people need space when they are hurting and others need a hand to hold , be what they need Anonymous .

I knew that giving her space was what she needed . She needed time to heal and to deal with the stresses of her life . She knew that I would always be there for her and vice versa . But it was important that I understood the boundary that she was quietly putting up .

Like when I closed the door , she was closing off communication to nurture her soul and continue to heal . She , too , still had tough roads ahead , so I was in tune with the signs of possible burnout from our conversations and respectfully backed off . I understood her , I respected her boundaries and I still do to this day . Will she be there for me ?

Absolutely , I have no doubt and I will be there for her . Helping a loved one through their mental health journey is a literal emotional roller-coaster ride .

My husband at times went from zero understanding and frustration because he didn't know how to help , to slowly learning about the symptoms I was experiencing , the medication I was taking , and empathizing with me when I had temporary setbacks . He didn't get it at first and was angry because he thought I wasn't fighting hard enough .

But as time went on and he slowly educated himself on the illness . He even learned from his TV commercials . Who knew ? He started to learn patience with me and my illnesses . Now , when I have bad days , he's quick to tell me to stop beating myself up because my sleep is still an issue , and I may not get out of the bed at certain times or cook .

He has begun to help me not worry about these things with a small pep talk or just say I'll pick something up on my way home tonight . Rest . If you feel tired , babe , just simply rest . Try again tomorrow . It took a long time for him to be such a great ally in this journey of mine .

I have learned to open up to him more about how I'm feeling or have been feeling , and that's all he needed to hear . He wanted to understand and see that I was working on myself one day , at a time when we were ready to travel . When he retires , he wants to make sure we're both in a good place , mentally and physically , to do so .

He often reminds me not to take on too many goals at one time so I won't get overwhelmed and tire myself out . He now understands me so much better and how the illness are affecting me . Spouses in healthy relationships cherish each other's space and are champions of each other's causes .

Henry One thing is for sure I am blessed and fortunate to have family and friends that are supportive of me and have done their homework on anxiety and depression . My children , of course , are the first to research , and my sister , who knowing first hand , was there for me to guide me through this exhausting world of mental health .

As I began to heal and the fog cleared , I saw the toll it took on my children and how they looked when I was on certain medications that made me incoherent and they thought I may have an addiction problem on top of my illnesses . I saw how depression began to set in on them because they worried about me , trying to help me heal .

I saw how they didn't want to come home because home was sad . I see the looks on their faces today , now when I sleep too much . I know they are having those conversations with their dad asking if I'm doing OK . I see it . Mental health affects the family dynamic as a whole . We've all been affected in some not so good ways and some positive ways .

Through my journey , my children and my husband are now more aware of their mental health . They are more apt to discuss their emotions and put up barriers when needed . We've discussed them all . They're not ashamed to seek counseling . They're not ashamed to meditate , pray , eat healthier , exercise and just being mindful of who .

They allow into their inner circles reminding them to protect their inner peace . This journey has taught us all a lot . It has opened our eyes to outside family issues that we've never connected to mental illnesses before and we're like maybe that was what it was . We just didn't know .

I am grateful and sad at times that this has come into our home , but I'm also thankful that my family as a whole is more aware of the importance of putting their mental well-being first . I believe this is the beauty of my journey . Mindful moment . It is such a blessing to have loved ones supporting us on our mental wellness journey .

Those who truly understand the process understand that it's not an easy road . It's literally an emotional roller coaster that we have to ride out through the loops and increased and decreased speeds until it slows down and we begin to understand the emotional course of the ride . Family witnessing their loved ones' struggles can become emotionally taxing .

They begin to feel and empathize too much with their emotions , which is no longer healthy for them . On this ride we have to protect each other , understanding that this is a huge lifestyle change for us all , learning how to communicate how we are all feeling through this difficult time and knowing that it's okay to feel the way we do . Let's talk about it .

Let them know it's okay to set up self-care boundaries for themselves . If they are comfortable staying away at times because it's too sad at home , then it's okay . And we understand it takes us all to get through this without many battle scars . It takes understanding , patience and celebrating the smallest victories together to get through this battle .

My mental health journey has brought us closer together and it's made my family aware of their own mental well-being , which is huge in my eyes . We are stronger , encouraging each other to live our best lives and knowing that we are there for each other no matter what , and if anyone needs support , we are there for each other .

I hope you've enjoyed this week's conversation . I'm your host , Shannon Martin . Join us next Wednesday when we talk about Mastering your Anger . If you enjoyed today's episode , please share , leave an Apple review or join the conversation on my social media pages at Shannon D Wellness .

Sign up for our email wait list to be in the know when our Hello Wellness box will be available to order . The link is in the show notes and in my social media bios . Stay tuned . We have a lot of exciting things in the works . Disclaimer I am not a licensed mental health professional . The information provided here is for general informational purposes only .

It should not be considered a substitute for professional mental health advice , diagnosis or treatment . If you need help , please consult a qualified mental health professional .