Buidling a Support System that Sustains You

Last week , we talked about a season of loneliness , being honest , about being alone and how it can be beneficial to your healing and sometimes not so good if you keep yourself isolated for long periods of time . It's a delicate balance that only you can find the things that work for you and slowly get yourself out into the world and slowly people again .

This week , we are continuing this discussion and talking about how we can nurture and create relationships that would sustain us during these challenging times . There was a time when I felt up to reconnecting , getting back out and peopling again . I thought that I was ready . This was at the beginning of my entrepreneurial journey and I was heavily networking .

At this time , I had bought a ticket for an event that I didn't want to miss . It was a two-day , pretty much a all-day type of event . I prepped my mind for it and told myself I would listen to my body and let it tell me when it's time to leave .

I had my medications and I had everything that I thought I needed my water , my snacks and I was prepared just in case I needed to go home early or if something happened .

I got through the first day and as we entered the second day , the later part of the day , I started to have that feeling again , the pain in my shoulder , and I said okay , well , everything is going well , I don't want to leave , I can make it through until this is over . But the night went on longer than it was supposed to , so I stayed .

When I left , I was talking to a networking friend of mine who's now become a great friend , and I was fine . She drove me to my car because it was dark . I got in the car and everything was fine .

As I began to drive , I began to feel anxious , so I took my medication and I took a deep breath and I thought I could make it home , because the venue wasn't too far from my home . And as I started driving and got further down the road , my foot began to get lighter . I noticed that I wasn't there mentally or physically .

I was driving on a four-lane road and I must have veered off because I heard something say to me stop ! And when I stopped I looked up and there was a mailbox right in front of me . I was looking at someone's mailbox . If I hadn't stopped , I would have destroyed someone's property and ended up in what we call drop-offs here in Georgia .

I stopped and I called my husband , but he didn't answer . Then called my daughter and she answered and she knew something was wrong . I couldn't talk . All I could say was that I wasn't feeling well and I almost hit someone's mailbox . I heard her running down the stairs calling for her dad . I heard her say dad , mom's on the phone .

She's not doing well , and he got on the phone . Being a police officer , he immediately started to talk me down . At this point I was crying and I couldn't stop crying . All I could say was that I'm looking at someone's mailbox . I almost hit a mailbox and I don't even know how I got here . He said okay , stop and breathe .

Do you have your medication with you ? I said yes . He said take one . I want you to take a deep breath . I want you to look where you are . Where are you ? Do you know where you are ? I said well , I know . I'm on the side of the road . He said do you see any lights ?

I said yes , okay , we're getting ready now and I want you to dry your eyes Slowly , start to drive with your hazards on and drive towards the lights . Now , where are you ? And as I looked around , I knew where I was . I was close to this gas station by this strip mall that we always visit . He said okay , I know where you are . You know the gas station .

Yes , pull in there . He said its well , lit there sit in the car and wait for us . We're on our way to get you . I can hear them getting ready . They were on their way, are you okay ? Drink your water , eat your snack , park the car away from everyone and lock the doors . We're 10- 15 minutes out .

If anybody comes to the window , If a police officer or anyone comes . This is what I want you to say . We're going to stay on the phone with you . Now woosaaa . Keep taking deep breaths . As I sat there , I couldn't believe that I almost had an accident . I never thought that I could be this incapacitated and couldn't drive home .

I was so excited about being at this event , being out with people again and having a great time meeting new people , that I didn't think that it was going to affect me this way . My husband finally came and took me home . This night took a huge toll on me and it took a long while for me to recover from it .

As I look back on this night , I know what I did wrong . I didn't listen to my body . I didn't give myself time to heal . I'm an ambivert , I enjoy peopling , but I know that I have to go and decompress for a while and those two days really took a lot out of me , to the point where I almost harmed myself . Your mental health is like a garden .

You tend to it , water it and let it flourish with the connection you make for your life . Anonymous . I wanted to tell you this story because after this night it really took a long time for me to drive again . Today I won't drive on the interstate much . That's what back roads are for . Right .

Now that I'm building and nurturing my friendships and creating support systems , I'm not so afraid to drive again . I actually want to drive , but I now know my limits . I pay close attention to my body and I know that when my shoulder starts pinching or I feel anxious , it's time for me to leave .

I'm enjoying having lunch or craft dates with my friends and nurturing those relationships again . I'm okay with going to stores by myself and having the desire to meet people again . When you're ready to break free from your loneliness and build relationships or even start new ones , make sure that you're in the right space mentally and physically to do so .

I want you to have a great start when getting back into your life . I never truly worked on relationships . Now that I'm in a different space , I ask myself why . And it was simple because someone hurt me in some way . So now I've truly fully embraced friendships .

Now that I'm at a different age and at a different point in my life , I see things differently and moving differently . I'm more verbal about my intentions and more intentional about who I invite into my space .

I'm on a different path now , on a different page , so that when I'm out connecting with people , I know that the people I'm choosing to start a relationship with are people I actually want to create relationships with and spend time with . These are the people who are kind of helping you get back into the world , if you will .

These ladies helped me breathe life back into myself . They helped me not only reconnect with myself , but also with my world . I'm not afraid to get in the car and go shopping alone anymore . I didn't realize the importance of relationships until I began building them . Mental health is not the destination .

It's a journey where the connections will make serve as our compass . Anonymous . As I am moving differently , I met someone who I now consider a good friend . We're still nurturing and building our friendship , but she has truly become someone who has helped me see friendship in a different , more positive way .

God knew what he was doing when we met years ago while networking . She has truly been that gentle push , helping me choose fun again , which I hadn't done in years . I am realizing that this is a sisterhood that I have always wanted but never knew I needed until now .

As I began to open up more , God kept blessing me with other sister friends who were there for me , praying for me , and always there for me at my saddest moments and happiest moments . They're there to lift me up and tell me the honest truth , because that's the kind of women that they are .

I didn't see them coming , but when I opened myself up , moved differently and honestly , the friendship showed up . One of my friends seems to know when something is not right with me . If I sound out of pocket , she said I'm coming to get you , we're going to lunch and we're going to talk about it . What's going on ?

And sometimes my long distance friends will call or text me, even FaceTime me out of the blue and say , Hey , you were on my mind , is everything OK with your sis ? And I do the same for them . I am in such a thankful space right now and overjoyed with a feeling of love .

I was coming out of my season of loneliness doing the inner work now knowing what I wanted in relationships , be it friendships or business ventures .

Putting that energy into the atmosphere has brought the right people to me who are intended to be in my support circle and continue to help sustain me and help me heal and grow , and this will do the same for you . Mindful Moment . It took me years to get back into the world , and people again One night set me back years .

I don't look at it as a bad thing . I have learned from it . I now know my limits . I know what I need to do when I am out and about . I know what I need to take with me at all times . I know that I need to give myself a pep talk . Ok , Shannon , this is what you are going to do . You're going to have lunch with your girls .

The traffic is going to be awful . This is the city . What can you do ? Absolutely nothing . But you can take the back roads , turn on your music and enjoy the ride . Meet up , have a great lunch , have fun chatting and come back home the same way you left . This is your time .

Get out and enjoy your life , laugh, joke , dress up a bit and just enjoy yourself . You're in a different space now , a different season , and you have earned it . You've earned the right to enjoy your time with your friends , with your husband on moving night , or even with your family .

My friend told me , Shannon , you have to nurture your relationships . They're so important . I Don't remember ever being told this before . I'm choosing those that I want to nurture , the ones that God has so nicely placed in my path , and I'm ever grateful for them .

So when you're beginning to build your support systems , I want you to remember to set boundaries , be open and honest about your feelings , offer support and return and cherished moments you are creating . Hope you enjoyed this week's conversation . I'm your host , Shannon Martin . Join us next Wednesday when we talk about Overcoming Disconnection .

If you enjoyed today's episode , please share with someone you think would like to join the conversation . Disclaimer I am not a licensed mental health professional . The information provided here is for general informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional mental health advice , diagnosis or treatment .

If you need help , please consult a qualified mental health professional .