Ep. 206: Opening Up To A Brand New World Through Psychedelic Medicines (feat. Kyle Langan)

On this One Time , on Psychedelics , one of , if not my favorite types of stories I enjoy hearing from the psychedelic space are the stories that come from individuals who at one point did not resonate with psychedelic medicines at all .

Now , you guys have heard me say before , and I'll say it again , that for me , I never judge anyone who is opposed or not interested in psychedelic medicines , because the truth is that nothing is for everybody .

However , when someone finds their own way into these medicines and has powerful results thereafter , I jump at the opportunity to have them share their story with me , let alone when it's someone who is a dear friend and such a kind and big-hearted individual like today's guest .

He and I first met about five years ago through the Enlifted community , and right off the bat after meeting him I knew he was a dedicated and lifted community , and right off the bat after meeting him , I knew he was a dedicated , committed and open-hearted individual .

Now , since we first met , he did find his way into psychedelic medicines and let's just say that the effects have been profound , to say the least .

As such , in this episode we dive into his childhood , his adolescence , how pain in his life led him to breakthroughs time and time again , and some words of wisdom from him with regards to how to approach friends , family members and more who we want to share these medicines with but feel as though they don't currently resonate with them at this time .

This episode is jam-packed full of beautiful stories , information and more , so please give me a big hand in welcoming my man , kyle Langan , to the show . Kyle Langan , my brother man , am I excited to be here with you today ?

You know , as I said in the intro guys , kyle and I met God probably about four years ago through the Unlifted community , and when I first talked to him , he was interested in psychedelics , but he had yet to do them .

And over these four years he's gone through some experiences with some really good mutual friends of ours Actually a guy that's been on the show in the past as well and so we're going to dive into all that today . Before we get to all that man , how are you doing today , brother ? Yeah , I'm doing phenomenal .

But yes , you know , my favorite part of that like macrocosm if I could take a microcosm and it's the relationships I have where it feels like we're on psychedelics , even if we're not right , like just in a completely sober state of reality . we're just constantly stretching each other's point of view . No one cares who's right or wrong .

It doesn't even matter , because you know , like we were talking about just before we hit record , duality is not actually real anyway . It's more about like , wow , like you have that perspective on life . That's really cool .

That makes me actually think about my perspective and how maybe these two apply that way and all of a sudden we're both learning just through a natural , fun , childlike conversation . Those are my favorite things in life .

Man Relationships I reference often as my life's work , my relationship to anything starting with self others , my hobbies , my voc's work , my relationship to anything starting with self others , my hobbies , my vocation , my job , and you know , constantly looking at the , the spiritual and initiation that is each of these relationships , because it's it's there .

Like I'll tell you about duality , man like . One thing I do believe in duality is either you view everything as a spiritual initiation or you don't like down to go into the grocery store .

I met him through Eric and Julia Blackwell , who I think you know as well , and Julia , I was staying at their house . We were going to a Red Rock show and she was like hey , I'm having this body worker come by and I was like , oh , can I get some body work ? Like I could definitely use it because I'm 6'5 and planes and I don't get along .

So whenever I arrive somewhere I try to get body work done . And so she's telling me about this guy and I'm like , yeah , like hit him up and ask if I can get an appointment too . So she hits him up . She's like yeah , he'll give you an appointment after . I'm like sweet .

So he shows up and and immediately I'm like this guy's a gangster , like I can just tell by his swag and everything . I'm like this dude has got some codes and some secrets , right . He kind of looked like the kind of guy that would give you an epic side quest in a role-playing game right , an RPG game .

So I was immediately intrigued and I ended up working with this guy and he ends up telling me that he's died three times . Come back to life . And long story short , I can corroborate that he's accurate on that .

I've now worked with him like four or five times , but one of the times I worked with him we did an eight-hour QHHT session and we started at midnight and before I knew it it was eight in the morning . It was like bam , like that Just another one of the weird things that's happened with him .

But during that we were talking about one event that happened in my life , which was my dad passing away .

And during that time when we were talking , he was like , he looked right at me and he was like listen , you can feel upset that you don't have your dad here to like go to breakfast with you or celebrate birthdays with you , whatever it is right , but don't ever be sad for them because they're right in the fucking lightning . And that's exactly how he put it .

And so two days ago , right , I'm talking to my one-on-one client and we're talking about the subject of death and I bring that up and so , like I hadn't thought of that in , probably I don't know , at least a year . So I say that to him .

And then later on that night I opened my Instagram and Shervina posted that Robert Gilbert had passed away , who was like someone I looked up to . I never got to meet him in person just because I didn't prioritize it . You know , I was like I'll take biogeometry advance with them sometime in the future , and so it was that moment of like .

Even though I'd never met this guy , I looked up to him for a long time , learned a lot through his sacred geometry and biogeometry work , and so I kind of felt that feeling . And then all of a sudden yesterday I'm on the inner circle . Call , another call I do .

And that whole comes , that whole thing comes through of like whoa , it's like my higher self knew , like you're going to need this piece of wisdom that you're giving someone else , but it's really for you , because this is about to happen . So I totally agree . Everything in life can be seen as a spiritual initiation . It also can . That's free will , right .

But for me personally and I think we both agree on this I don't know how people don't see it .

You weren't someone going to music festivals , right , like you came into psychedelics through a totally different avenue and I'd love for you to explain , you know , any aspect of that story that you feel is relevant . Right , the change from , maybe , how you viewed these things younger .

I don't know what view you had on them , but maybe , potentially , how you grew up like you know what kind of perspectives people around you had and then how you moved in and integrated this because , for a lot of people listening , they may have friends , family members etc .

That they believe psychedelics can help , but , like we always say , right , you can't push someone to it . But if they hear your story , they may understand different components of how to connect with that person in a way that doesn't feel restrictive on their own free will , if that makes sense .

So family was instilled as a truly important pillar really from day one Grew up Catholic , went to a Catholic high school , also a religious university , also a religious university , seton Hall University in New Jersey , and you know I saw a lot about values , trust , honor , dignity , respect , honesty , right and , I believe , part of the culture , not only in the time

I grew up but also the area was very rigid . It was a lot of black and white . You know we talk about duality . You know it was all . It was all the total other end of the spectrum . Right , like you know , actually you know I , I want to be careful how far down this road I go .

But you know , even growing up right across , like where 9-11 happened , like there were good guys , bad guys , man , like there were people who did this to us , you know , as a country and as a people , and that was that ? was it ?

Like I was a huge sports fan , like you root for the home team and you hate the away team , you know , like that was just it . So what I'm getting at , you know , here's really rigidity , right , like there's a way . There's a way to live . This is how you have to live . I watched my mom and my grandmother live out a career as nurses .

I was touched by the idea of living a life of service and , you know , through my worldview and again we'll call it the environment or the culture I conflated the sacrifice with the goodness . I remember when I was a kid I used to watch a VHS that my dad had called the NFL's 100 toughest players of all time . I would watch it every week , kid you not .

And basically the point was like the more you can take , the better , the more you can suffer , the better .

And you know , like even the sports I participated in , like I grew up swimming right , like I wasn't having a good time dribbling the basketball practice with my friends , like I was staring at a black line at the bottom of a pool holding my breath , going back and forth doing the same thing , so what this really led to was , for me , a life of attempting to

self-actualize through different external means , self-actualize through different external means my career , more athletics , you know , whatever it may be , and because of that I was , as you alluded to in the introduction , really adverse to like alternative lifestyle , alternative experiences , Like in college man , I was training for triathlons , like I didn't go to parties .

It was . Even drinking was like really not for me . I I'd never smoked , you know , throughout my high school and college years . It was all about optimizing , you know , optimizing my body , um , and getting the most that I could get out of it .

I actually believe , through that pursuit of athletics , I can pinpoint the very moment that the belief was born that I alluded to earlier that everything is a spiritual initiation . And that was when I completed doing an Ironman triathlon when I was 22 . And I felt nothing .

I felt like I was alone and that this thing that this was supposed to like self-actualize me and give me this title of something awesome , it just didn't deliver . And that's when I knew that at some level .

There was a broader journey , to go on here Like , yeah , that this constant external pursuit just wasn't going to get me a life of fulfillment , and I was , you know , age 22 . And I didn't fully integrate that belief at the time , but I started asking questions at the time , but I started asking the questions . I started asking questions of what else there was .

At that time I relocated from New Jersey to South Carolina . My family had lived in New Jersey for a bunch of generations , really old , like North Jersey , very tight , italian-american family On the idea of spiritual initiation , man man , moving away from the family was a big deal .

And the reason for that , as I reflected , like it's what I believe is , my mind was a tyrannical state . You know , my consciousness was a tyrannical state , man . It was do this or else this is what you have to do .

Right , like the stoppo energy Right , right and I think about that a lot now , actually , in reference to , like , if my mind was a country , would anyone want to live there ?

It sounds so funny , but when I start to creep into a certain place with , again , relationships , whatever it is right , like you know , romantically , in home life , my job , the way I start to engage with this narrative and this dialogue , I was like , okay , would anybody else want to partake in this ? Would anybody want to live here in this environment ?

And you know , the body was the definitive signal to me that indeed this was a spiritual journey .

This whole thing , yep , I was awake to it from just the loneliness I felt after , you know , completing that , that Ironman which , by the way , I had a tremendous amount of support for , like you know , for anyone listening who supported me at the time like the loneliness was all me , it was all internal , like there were tons of people there , um , so yeah , the

body was the definitive signal , though , like because of that same here's where the irony comes in and the beauty because of that same stubborn , driven will to deliver . When my body reached that state , I was not accepting of that . I was determined to optimize . Determined to optimize .

I feel incredibly blessed that I have a strong intuition and this is where it really started to kick in and I started to get more in touch with my intuition . When I hit sort of the peak of some of my body's challenges . I remember I was in Charleston , south Carolina .

I was standing at the battery , just around water which get near vastness , anyone listening . Like get go to a desert , look out for 100 miles . Like get near the ocean .

Like it's going to change something yeah , um , so I'm standing there looking at this like most incredible just view and I just proposed to my then girlfriend and I had this incredibly powerful download that I was supposed to go back home to see cancers for my health .

So I booked a trip back to New Jersey and I was totally open it was totally wide open to what was going to happen . That week while I was there , the last day I was supposed to be there , I go to an ice cream shop with my aunt , uncle , my two young cousins and I lay out what I had been going through to my aunt .

And earlier in the week I'd gone to some Western medical , you know , testing and got some allergy tests , discovered a couple of things that I had not discovered before . Wasn't really the cause , but good information , yeah , and I articulated this all to my aunt .

She said well , I know a guy who A couple of my coworkers went to see here in North Jersey and they had a rheumatoid arthritis score of 900 and they saw him and he reduced it to zero , like they saw this guy . And rheumatoid arthritis down to zero , wow . So I said this is the call , this is the thing .

So I call up my wife and I say I'm staying a little longer . I got to go see this guy . So I go to him . He knows nothing about my medical history . He's . His profession is an integrative manual therapist and I'm like all right , hit me with anything . Yeah , give me your best shot , dude . Hit me with anything . Give me your best shot , dude .

And first thing he does he does a little muscle testing on like my legs . One leg like collapsed really easily when he put a little bit of pressure on it and he pinpointed something like definitive that I had only learned earlier in the week through the allergy testing . He was like , oh , you're allergic to peanuts .

And I was like dude , I only knew that 48 hours ago . Like you're operating on no context , like okay , I'm in , like whatever happens next ? dude , you just bought yourself a lot of equity so he says he was able to identify then that I endured a shock event in my life and gave a specific date range , and that it was living in my spleen .

The shock energy was living in my spleen in the form of disappointment . My task to release this was to meditate on my inner child for six hours every age zero to six , one hour at a time for a week , and I would process this energy holding my spleen and placing my other hand on my right eye as well as I did .

This meditation and this energy , the energetic flow would open . And sure enough , that week , man , I just cried like a baby during those meditations every night , like hard , real tears every night for a week , just the knowledge of how starving that inner child was for some fun , some authenticity and some love .

And the podcast can be summed up in those three words fun , authenticity and love . I mean , that's really just it .

Three great things right there , right and that Ryan was when I really knew hundred percent energy is a thing , it is real and so , interestingly enough , this , this gentleman , did add one detail to the diagnosis I should say , which was that I was having a tremendous amount of gut issues .

But he basically said that the frequency of the spleen was so off it was messing up the gut microbiome , Like the frequency was so poor , so low , that neighboring organs were starting to behave in ways less than optimal .

So , and he bought himself a little more equity by saying he reoriented my gut biome to move in a gyroscope pattern and I was studying spiral dynamics at the time and I'm like wait hold on .

We're having you know , it's her 30th birthday Beautiful experience .

So I'm reading this and I'm realizing that it's perfectly outlining a challenge that I'm having , which is like fully being in the moment , like this experience , experience this vacation , like the career that I built to be able to like support great vacations and have all this abundance and this beautiful relationship .

I'm rating the moment like a six out of ten , like just my experience of the moment . I knew that's what it was down to . It wasn't down to do . I have all the things that I , that I desire I do , and that's the thing that made me think why is my experience of the moment a six out of ten ? Like why not higher ?

And um , late , like that week we went on a snorkeling excursion with her and her mom and , like I was , I was freaking out like this little boat , uh , like getting seasick , like totally , and this is just adding right , like , dude , you're having a miserable time in like the most beautiful area of the country and , um , the guy who was like the captain , so to

speak , of this little boat that we were out , he looks at me and he goes focus on the horizon . And at this point I was like I need to take some mushrooms because I had just learned , right then and there , the role of the shaman in the experience .

Yeah , I was like this guy has been in these waters so many times , it's perfectly safe and all he's doing is inviting me to focus on one thing on the horizon . I was like I've been thinking about the idea , entertaining , possibly maybe psychedelics .

And then when , when I was on that boat and he said , focus on the horizon , I said this is the safety , the container that I need to go in and experience this thing , because I was not willing to go the route of what was being suggested in this book , which is a form of therapy and it gives you a coin flip chance in 10 years that maybe you'll be good .

So I thought you know what ? There's one frontier I haven't explored and this is it . And when that moment happened , I was like , okay , this is totally safe to do . And I got back to the hotel and I shot our mutual friend , danny Rios , a message about doing a ceremony and of course , he said yes , it was like ready to go within the month .

If you don't know what those things are , we can Google it and have a separate conversation , but it was , it's a lot of self-reflection and practice with communication , self , others , all that . So my journaling , which I took a look at recently , man , it was no wonder .

I had a great experience because it was all just a lot of beauty and a lot of authenticity going in to these journal entries and one of the things I remember writing as an intention for the ceremony was authoring my own legacy right Like , yes , taking all the important lessons and the beautiful things that I've been shown throughout this life and creating something

that was truly mine from that . And that was something that really stood out to me as a mantra and affirmation that came out of the journaling . A mantra and affirmation that came out of the journaling .

So , for anyone who's not familiar with the idea of a ceremony for plant medicine , it's really just about reverence , that getting to explore our consciousness is like the highest form of wealth in the world , like there are people who struggle to meet basic needs , and this is about experiencing self fully , and it's it's reverence for that really is is what the

ceremony is about . as I see it , agreed and a celebration of life . It's a celebration of life as well , definitely that .

I actually got a lot of chills when I said that that was powerful , the whole celebration of life , like how much I believe that , like really , yeah , came through there how much that becomes like a basic need that you never knew you needed before , like that was what it was for me too .

So yeah , I totally agree yeah , man ceremony , just like literally throughout life like this , okay powerful connection back to my . My upbringing is like we would always go to my grandparents house on sundays and watch science games like .

That's a ceremony , it's a , it's a celebration of our ability to be together , everything that we have together and , like you know , yes . So ceremony is important to me , it's always been important to me , and this was actually a way for me to reconnect with that . So I want to get into the good stuff now the trip dude , I'm so excited man .

I think a lot of people thirst , trap themselves into and , fortunately for me , I was never raised in a religion or anything , so I think I kind of lucked out and I skated around a lot of the programming that comes along with that .

But like this whole idea around ceremony , right , like a lot of people think , it has to be you in white robes , there has to be sage burning , there has to be policy , like they have all these have tos , right , and you know , a lot of times , you know , for me , I entered the realm of psychedelics because I realized that the world I was living in , or

thought I was in before I realized it was a dream , did not have the answers for me , and so I went to this because I already realized all the programming patterning , that's not my answer . So imagine my surprise when I get into this and people are like no , there are rules here . I'm like , no , there aren't right .

Like , aside from love your God , love your neighbor , right , like the same codes that Jesus was putting out , right , and forgive yourself , repent , you know . Other than that , that's what I imagine you mean by reverence too .

Right , it's just like having intention , right , like understanding why you're there , what you're looking to get from having respect for the people there .

It's the same thing as , like you know , when you go to your grandparents house , you have respect for their house , right , like so when you're a teenager , maybe you want to listen a lot of music , but you're not going to do it at their house because that's not respectful to their world . Right , doesn't mean that what you do is bad .

It just means that , like , hey , you know what , like I'm going to respect their space . So that's like to me , as simple as it can be . Like , I've had ceremonies at concerts . I've had . You know , the funniest thing is you want to hear god having a sense of humor . My kundalini awakening happened at a fucking strip club , right ?

So this story is so yeah , yeah , so like now , every time mentioned that story , I have to say , because it really was for me a ceremony and people just get so triggered around that , so continue . I just wanted to share that because I totally feel like you , man , I don't think a ceremony has to be anything .

I mean , look at Jesus and all these non duelists . They were hanging out with prostitutes and whatever . Because again , the meek shall inherit the earth , you know . So yeah , I just wanted to throw that in there .

She came home , said she had a religious experience , divorced me and she's the happiest she's ever been in her entire life . Oh my God . And that was like two sentences , right , like literally the most , which I read . I started laughing because women love beyonce , like yeah , yeah , her lyrics are literally , at times a religious experience .

Is that for me , when I got into psychedelics , and even before that , when I was doing something like a workout or whatever , I would take it very seriously , right , yes , I'd be like there's there , I'm doing this for this specific thing .

It's all that like kind of David Goggins mentality , or like the same kind of mentality you had , right , like you got to do your best every single time , which isn't a bad thing , but like you got to also judge yourself if you don't do your best . Right , like all that kind of stuff .

What I realized in going through all that was that you don't need to be serious about this stuff . And also , when you lose the expectation , like when I was going to a strip club , the last thing I fucking thought was that God was going to find me there , or that I was going to find God there .

So because I had no expectation , it actually paradoxically becomes the perfect place for that kind of thing to occur , because that's like the mind of a child , right , it gets surprised by everything . So I wanted to throw that in too .

Because , man , when I took the medicine , you know , psilocybin , drank it in the form of a tea , you know , with honey , and when it hit , the first thing I saw as part of this , this trip , was you know , to describe it really to anyone who's never done it it's highly dissociative and really you're just in a dream state , and in the dream what I saw was

myself in the foreground and in the background was everything that deeply mattered to me my wife , my dogs , my home , and I was pacing around back and forth , like in front of my computer , basically just in a state of worry watching my life waste . I was watching myself waste my life and when I saw that I knew whatever this shit was was working .

was , um , I experienced the soul of my dog , just the gratitude he had for his life , and I just experienced that gratitude through just a scene playing of him just wagging his tail . When I came home and I realized , man , it's me who is tuned out . He's tuned in , you know , when he's wagging his tail and I come home , man , he's tuned into pure gratitude .

And that option exists for me too . I can just pay attention , tune in , I can just get out of my mind and into my heart . I can be an embodiment of that . You know , I can be an embodiment of that . You know Also watched him like play and escape to this eternal field , and I knew then like he was old .

He was old at the time , you know , and he's passed on now and that was part of the experience of his passing for me just being able to witness , witness not even the word , to experience the knowing that that realm exists , you know that , that that place exists where he's going to play eternally , and I was one of the most transformative , really experiences in

my life to be able to have the privilege of experiencing that . There was so much other profound details in the journey , man . There was one . There was a song that I really connected with . That was part of the playlist that was going on while I was journeying and came on . It's why Do we Fall ? By Hans Zimmer .

I love Hans Zimmer and it's from a Batman movie . Just as this song came on like , I just remember experiencing complete allowance of myself to have joy , and I remember I popped up from this bed and I like raised a fist in the air and I said this is a celebration of my life .

I never , was more certain that the road for me in this life was paved in gold than I was . Then I became certain that all of this was for a reason and I was trending towards something incredible in this life . I was never more sure of it than I was then . And you know , ancestry is complicated .

Just bouncing around as the trip does right Like this is just if anybody has never tried my friends before this conversation is just kind of how it goes . People I know and love are what their journey is like .

You know some of the pain they may be experiencing and what was profound about that was in the trip I was behind one-way glass , like at a police station where I was only watching and it was a reminder man .

Like you know , you can't help or love or shame them out of their journey , right Like this is theirs to experience and you just get to be a witness to theirs as they do yours .

And that was tremendously profound as well , just being able to think about and reflect on that , like everybody's on their own path , and the respect that I gained just for other people . I thought I had respect for others but just their whole journey and their whole experience .

Like if somebody is pissed off on the road , you know like people ask like , oh , how does these medicines change your life ? Every interaction with the knowledge that there's a whole nother journey going on , you know , over here for this person it's powerful man and then it's all sacred in the eyes of the creator .

So , like you know , in this dream that we think we live in right , which we do in a way , but it's like our pinky nail is in this dream , right Versus our entire being is back to heaven , whatever you want to call it , right , wholeness , oneness . But realizing the beauty of everyone's , even their quote unquote fuck ups mistakes .

Right , the beauty in our own quote unquote , fuck ups mistakes . And how that beautifully led , like that ability to see it like a movie , you know , to really see your life like a movie and to realize that you get to be like the best Morgan Freeman , narrator , voice for it . But you also get to be the main character .

You also get to , in a way , play every character because we're all one . And I'll tell you , man , like for me , when I had an experience like that for the first time , it changed everything for me . When I had an experience like that for the first time , it changed everything for me . I had first got connected with psilocybin when I was 23 .

And it was right when I found out my dad was going to die , like straight up , like he told me . And like a week later my buddy Joe was like , hey , I got some mushrooms and I just done MDMA for the first time . So I was like , all right , let's do it . And the first night was just hilarious , giggling , you know giggle factory .

And so after that I just really I just had this pull to them and I had started doing research and they were like , well , you know , you shouldn't do them if you don't have a good mindset and things like that . And meanwhile I'm looking at the situation I'm living in my parents house .

My dad's literally dying in the house that I grew up in , and I'm like this feels right to just hit this button often and I didn't know if that was something that it just felt intuitively right . But everything I was reading was like don't do things like that .

So I just decided to go for it and it was interesting because my parents were , I mean , are amazing . You know , they were the house that all my friends would come to .

A lot of my friends grew up without , yeah , the most supportive parents and so , yeah , my parents would just take them all in , cook them dinner , hang out , and so my house was always the hangout house .

So when I was 23 , and my dad got sick , I didn't have the vernacular or the way to articulate what I'm going to say now , but really what it was is a group therapy . That's really what it was . Yeah , yeah , like straight up , like my friends would come over my dad's sick upstairs playing world of warcraft or whatever's when he first got diagnosed .

So he was still normal for the most part and we would just be down in the living room , we would just eat mushrooms .

And we didn't know like , we were just like , oh , we're having fun , but really we were going through a collective grieving , grieving process , and there'd be nights where you know again , for anyone who's done mushrooms today , you know there there's a different varieties and you know people say that .

You know penis envy are going to be stronger and all these things . Well , 10 years ago that didn't exist . It was like , oh , cubensis , cubensis , mushrooms a cube is a cube is a cube right .

Like , if you try some other varieties , like you know , pans or different types like wood loversubbers mushrooms yeah , those might be stronger in psilocybin , but cubensis they're all the same . So we would just get mushrooms from different people and some days it would just be like , or some weekends it would just be like ah , fun , body high , we laugh .

We would listen to this band called Spongle and I remember one trip we were . The fucking album do was Are you Spongled ? And we were just laughing fucking hysterically the whole time . So a lot of trips were like that , still very much there in our bodies , like able to talk , but like just goofy as hell .

But I remember one dude we ate these mushrooms and just all of us blacked out , like we were all sitting down hanging out and all of a sudden I just realized we'd all come out at the same time and we'd all kind of look at each other and then we just get sucked back in and none of us knew what the fuck was happening .

But at a certain point we all reached this fucking golden light . We were just in and we were just . It was like the womb . We were just perfectly like at a zero point field in this golden light .

And we were there and while I was there I was connecting with my grandmother , all my relatives that have passed away , all my pets that have passed away , and in moment , like something just shifted forever in me and I was like , oh , my dad's gonna be fine , I can still go visit him whenever I want .

And we all came out of that just being like , okay , like that changed us and we had no idea how to describe it , articulate it , etc .

But when you were talking about that experience with your dog and things like that so similar man , because I'll tell you the experiences that's happened one time on LSD as well , where Rachel and I had taken LSD together , and Rachel is such a pure being you know , that's what I see in her .

She's so I don't know how to describe it , but just you know , when you feel it like someone who has a really good moral compass , they're , they're really good natured , right . And so we were lsd and there was a point where she got stuck in a loop for a while . Was her first time doing acid ?

And so she got stuck in this adorable it's like a beautiful may day we're laying out in her backyard of their parents house , which backs up to a wildlife sanctuary . There's like beautiful lavender growing in the ground . Her dad and mom were so funny , they're hilarious , so it was like a great environment to do it in very private .

And so she got stuck in this loop of like wait a minute , did we take acid ? I'm like yeah . She's like , oh , are we gonna die ? I'm like no , we're not gonna die . And she's like have you been out this far ? And I'm like yeah , and then she'd be like okay , okay , wait , did we take acid ? And it was like that for like an hour .

So I was like just smitten at how adorable this fucking woman was . Just like , oh , okay , okay , wait , did we take acid ? Like it was just so cute . So she stands up at one point and I'm on my knees and I hug her and I just felt this like insane amount of weight of just how amazing life is , how good god is like .

All of it hit me like a ton of bricks and I just started crying my fucking eyes out , had no idea why . It wasn't sad , it was like the happiest I . I didn't even know that kind of happiness existed in life before that . And what I say about psychedelics a lot is when people are like , well , how do I know if I need them ?

Like you have no idea how much you've forgotten about being a kid , about being that close to god . You have no idea , because the world just does what it does and that's not bad , right , it's part of the design , right , like this is really one big game of hide and seek .

You know like you start connected with God as a child and then you learn you have to go do all these things in the world to be successful and be happy . So you go do all that . Right , it's like the prodigal son , that's exactly what it is . And then at one point you realize that were really looking for . You could find anywhere .

You could find it in the field next to your house that you grew up in . You could find it in the person at the convenience store that gives you a smile when you leave . You could give it to someone yourself by opening the door and just giving them a smile that they forgot .

Those are the things that psychedelics reminded me of , and it sounds like you were in a very similar type of experience .

It was a Wednesday and I was coming home and my wife and I had been using this catering service for meals that I could like pick up . And I just remember , as I was going to pick it up , well , actually I called her and I was present to the question is there anything I can do for you to make your week easier ?

Like that , that question , at that level of empathy , like just wasn't there before , right , like , so it was like , okay , pick up this food . And I was able to connect that when I got there to pick it up , I was drawn to actually share with the business owner what the mission of their business had done for my life .

Yeah , like their business was having a profoundly positive impact on my life and my marriage and I could see that so clearly . Like coming you know , coming out of this , this journey , like I was like , oh my God , like these thoughts feel so natural , but they were so foreign to me , man , cause I was so stuck on the Goggins cycle .

The golden light , as you referenced , though I also experienced that as well , and just seeing myself standing in this golden light , it was like it was just a reminder that I came in . Like God is living inside you , like you're the source , and for me that was not an ego building realization .

It was like , hey , if God is inside me when I check out at the grocery store , it's my responsibility to smile in me the understanding of the balance of giving and receiving . Like when I go into the ceremony or I'm with mushrooms , I'm in a place of pure receivership .

It's all sacred knowledge and it's all pure and I'm just taking it all in which inspires in me the will to give , like through the way I live , it's the just the will to give , and this is a reminder to all , and one of the things I would want anyone who's listened to this take away is it is a reminder how important it is to get back to nature like

this . Yeah , this is one man's recollection and journey and story , but it's really an invitation to get back to nature well , because who are you right ?

I could take this balm right here , the CBD balm , and meditate on it and find God within it .

Really right , and I think that's why books like I told you before and again listeners you're probably just laughing at me at this point Books like Disappearance of the Universe , have been such a great integration tool for psychedelic experiences , because they also give you kind of a framework that's what it was for me anyway to understand when you're forgetting again

and then how to come back to remembering . Because that's really what life is right you forget and you remember , and you forget and you remember . And when life gets hard , it's when you're forgetting a lot and remembering less . And when life is good , remembering a lot and forgetting less . You , you know , oh man , that's so true .

You know , as you alluded to , actually I didn't see it as funny at the time , but the first song that came on when I like was when my first trip began was the theme song for a character in pirates of the caribbean . And what davy jones literally in the movie ? In the movie , what this character is doing is hiding the key to his heart .

And you're telling me mushrooms aren't funny they're funny , dude .

The mind of a child is not adulterated . It's fucking silly , it's funny . And then what happens is , especially as men , right , I don't know what happens to women , I'll let them handle talking about that . I'm not going to pretend to understand women like that .

But for us men , we get taught through society that the warrior archetype out of the king lover , warrior magician , is the one to really go for . Yeah , and we stack that so high . It's like we skip fucking leg day , dude . It's like we have this insane upper body of warrior but our king magician lover is like scrawny chicken legs .

You know we skip spiritual leg day . No , literally you skip spiritual leg day , you know . And so like all of a sudden you realize like that's great , right , like I still love going after it at the gym and whatnot , but like that's not where you're gonna find love for yourself , right . Like that's great .

We have those skill sets right and we can get down and we can lift weights or whatever , and that's fun . But don't forget to also have the king warrior and the I'm sorry the king magician and the lover , because they , the magician makes life funny and , like the jester does right , like there's a reason .

The jester is the last card on the tarot deck , you know , like the last archetype . It's very interesting yeah .

Okay , we want more magic , right , like just is what it is . So , like I journeyed a few times and one of them was part of a group container . I've done one group container and , um , there were other .

I was more active during this journey , like I was up and around and I remember the other participants were all polish or belarusian immigrants to the us and , uh , like , I thought like wow , I thought I grew up with a rigid culture , like yeah , you know , I'm like the loosest guy here and and the shaman like danny , he was playing on this playlist , like this ,

like songs from like the prague philharmonic and other songs like eastern european heritage , and I just remember going up to him and being like , what are you doing ? and he was like I'm trying to make these guys cry , yeah . And then later the Titanic song comes on and I just start . I just start laughing hysterically and he's like what's so funny ?

And I'm like you're trying to make Polish immigrants cry with the Titanic .

I was so tired for a couple days after this I hadn hadn't exhausted literally that amount of energy , and so on . I swear I was laughing for three to four hours . One of the things I laughed at as well in this journey was when Stairway to Heaven came on by Led Zeppelin .

I'm sitting on this couch and one of the first lyrics and should we say the first half of the song is all of our thoughts are misgiving God . That was the funniest thing I ever heard . I'm like , dude , you've been playing the fool your whole life , like you overthink everything , it's all misleading you , dude .

So what you just said , just said it's like , yeah , we think we need all this external stuff and all these degrees and certifications , all it's that's complexity . Right , like that's not bad , but it's just not where , like it's not where you're going to really find god . Yes , dude , yes , yes for everyone listening kyle just showed a graphic simplicity .

What did it say ? Equals Equals . What ? The beauty of the heart .

I believe sharing the story is important , ryan , because I'm a guy with , I'm a married guy , I have a job , you know , I'm in sales , I'm a regular guy and I have a lot of conversations with with coworkers and it's . The conversations are all about ease . I'm always asking people like is there an easier way to do this ?

Is there an easier way to experience this ?

And almost a hundred percent of the time there's , it's a yes , you know , and and I'm , I've become someone that people seek for more ease in this environment and I'm letting people know , like this is a means for me that helped me find surrender and ease in in a chaotic environment and just understand , like my only responsibility is to be with the moment , like

that is really as simple as it gets and I've enjoyed the magic , I've enjoyed the journey . Like you know , I think there was a degree of guilt about that with me for a little while . Like dude , you know you're doing the mushies and you like it like in the sandlot .

When he's like , you go bobbing for apples in the toilet and you like it like yeah , dude , we all have ptsd from that line , dude , yeah like sorry , god's like hey , dude , you know you're , you're into this , you do mushrooms and it's awesome . Yeah , like you know , like it's really helped your life . Yeah , I mean one of my guilty pleasures .

Man was like , yeah , just literally listening to stairway to heaven on psychedelics .

It's like , well , your default mode is off , so how you normally think it might be , it won't be . So how you normally think it might be , it won't be . And like I've seen a number of like type A , relatively intense people literally just laugh the whole time Because that's the experience they need , is like that total release and just have this laughter .

And for me , man people as well being mirrors from one another in the experience , like people who I've been around that started laughing , made me laugh , like there's nothing more childish than that .

And so when we went at the lake house , it'll be like me , chase , dave Robinson , a bunch of fucking straight goofballs that are all , like you know , savage individuals as well , but , like when we take L together , we just laugh , and as soon as Dave starts bringing out his southern accents and start saying me ma and papa , dude , I just fucking lose it and I'm

going to be like me , ma , is that you Dude and papa dude , I just fucking lose it and I'll go to him .

Like me , ma , is that you , dude , like it's just constant laughter , to a point where what's fun about l is that you know you hold the power within you to double someone over and make them lose 20 minutes of the life to insane laughter , and you all hold that same power .

So , like none of us are responsible with it , we're all just like ingatia leviosa , just constantly making people just fucking drop from laughter , and it's like that for like eight to 10 hours and by the end you're like I know it's not actually impossible to die from laughter , but is it , though ? Like cause I think I'm getting close , you know ?

Like it's so fun , man , yeah .

I exited the trip , I sat at this table and said , oh Danny , I get it now . It's not that I'm thankful for my parents' lessons , but I'm grateful it was them who was the teacher , like that's the beauty of it is , I was able to go to another layer of gratitude , another layer of empathy that I could not go to because I didn't know that it was there .

Yeah , you didn't know what . You didn't know , right , and it was so profound . Man , um , yeah , that's um .

I know there's some more journeys we want to discuss and there's so many more things I want to share with you too and just have a really amazing conversation around it .

But to make sure I give you ample time to tell people where they can find you , anything you got going on you want to pitch , where can I send people to find you , connect with you and benefit from who you are as an individual man ? Because you're such an amazing guy , dude . Like I got to witness guys .

Like I said at the beginning , I got to witness this whole transformation and I was in a very similar boat . Like you know , you and I have a lot of commonalities with that warrior just being like so fucking ready to go .

It's like it's got such a neural groove in our fucking mind that it's just so easy to be like Nope , just fucking do it , just do it , just do it . Just so . It's been amazing to to witness you in this , because it's also helped me see a lot of the things , that is , that these medicines have done for me .

So where can I send people do to connect with you ?

I'm really inspired by the works of like the Alan Watts and the Aldous Huxley's like to make meaning out of these , these things for the broader population , and that's what the Substack is really designed to do is share these stories . You know more about who I am and relationships , so that's the best place . I'll supply some additional information shortly .

I'm working on a significant project in the wellness space with some really powerful people . That , I think , is going to take out the thing . I'm certain that what is being worked on here is going to help assist people in the understanding of the spiritual initiation piece of life . Like there's no future state to chase , there's no linear , progressional .

Do this for 90 days . There is a a nonlinear . There's always quantum leaps available if you understand how to engage with your reality , and it is what's being worked on here is a way to communicate that and guide others in that experience .

What is the one piece of advice you could suggest to them to allow them to use the proper discernment and understanding whether or not these medicines are right for them right now in their life ? For me , it's about intuition .

Right Like looking at legality or studies done by Johns Hopkins or all this , like it's , it's humorous , right Cause you're like , okay , there's no , you can't sit in a white room and take this amount and like , go through this transformation , it just doesn't work like that , you know , like MDMA , they were like well , it doesn't meet the double blind study criteria .

I'm like , wow , you mean you can't tell if you're on an empathic hallucinogen versus vitamin A . You're right , it doesn't work . It's a feeling of getting out of the head into the heart . For me , what helped me do that is be near nature , be with vastness .

If there's trepidation , if there's fear , start low , go slow , like something we didn't , we didn't talk about today , was ketamine , and that's something I've interacted with and there's ketamine clinics all over the country and I've had some beautiful experiences , you know , utilizing ketamine as well . I think it's becoming , you know , more accepted there .

You know there's a stigma with everything , but it's , it's super easy to integrate with , like it's , it's a very easy journey , but it will alter your consciousness in a way that will , um , I view all these experiences as like your consciousness is like a lake and you're dropping a rock into it and you're going to be stirring things up in this ecosystem , and one

of the ways and ketamine is a an easy , if that's the right word- way to do that , I think yeah , no , I , I really appreciate that because I think ketamine can be a bridge for a lot of people because it does still operate in kind of a clinical setting and most people that are going to do mushrooms are not going to find like a clinical setting to do it

right now .

So it's like all right , what if you go to the same doctor you've been going to ? What if your treatments are done in the same kind of setting ? It's all even done in , but it's just something different also that a western med doctor has prescribed to you , yada , yada . So it's a small gap to rich , you know .

So I really appreciate that , you know , and and bring the magic to it .

Perhaps , if you do want to , you know , utilize psychedelics and , you know , do mushrooms , perhaps do ketamine , as part of that experience , as well like the night before to practice , like , okay , this is what it's like to be in an altered state . It's actually okay like I'm . I'll come back , so that that would be my advice .

Kyle is such a wholesome , amazing individual in my life and I am so grateful that God put our paths in this lifetime together because I've learned so much through him and you know he's such a great storyteller and I'm definitely going to have him back on to talk about some of these other experiences Because you know , this may be the episode .

Guys , if you have a relative or someone that's been turned off to these medicines . Maybe they're just completely , you know , not open to them right now . Maybe they're curious about learning more , seeing what the kind of grounds are with regards to psychedelic medicines . Share this podcast episode with them . Psychedelic medicines share this podcast episode with them .

Share it with someone that you know , you feel maybe is like Kyle a couple of years back . Right , you know , really into the warrior , maybe going through some challenges but not aware .

Maybe they've tried , like the Western med , but they haven't been aware of psychedelics and they come into this awareness and they hear about it , but they're kind of nervous because there are a lot of weird things that can happen out in that realm .

Share this episode with them because Kyle is someone who took this very intentionally , as you know , knew what he was getting into , knew why he wanted to get into it and , even with that being said , like he shared , the experience was so much more beautiful than you could ever imagine . But the reason that happened was because he took his time .

He was intentional , you know . He didn't just go to any back alleyway and be like give me some mushrooms , I'm going to eat a handful of them and see what happens , right . So make sure you share this episode with someone who could really resonate with it and use it and , as always , guys , may the source be with you to infinity and beyond Peace .