Ep 249: He’s Zyn Trouble

Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important, bottom line, critical thing happening on this planet today.

This is important.

He'll bite me, He'll like grab my nuts, he might try to eat my asshole, like he's a lunatic.

The more people listen, the more they're like, unfollow you, guys, hear it.

It's like, all right, well, I used to just look at atlases.

Buckle up, oyeah.

Change is Champagne ship, every damn thing. I want it all?

What is that? What is that from? I want to say it is orange. I want to say it's the Warren.

I want it all, follow up All All.

The Regulator album is. If I'm incorrect, I don't. I don't think you're right. I think it's more it's like Silk the Shocker or some ship.

I want it All. No, no, no, no, no.

That doesn't really sound like Warren G.

I really think it's warrang G. It doesn't sound like a Warren G's song to me. I Want It All might be Skilo. It might be Skilo, dude. I don't know how that it's so weird when a song just will like.

You know what I mean, It'll just like.

Can I get some clarifications?

You know how a song was gag? You know, it'll just pour out of you. And you don't even know where these lyrics are coming from. Oh I said it said. We were finishing up with Anna.

She's telling us about all the sponsors and YadA YadA, And then I'm like, hey, man, I want it all brand new, cause diamond rings, gold change, the champagne shit, every damn And you.

Know what, in a matter of fact, it is definitely in all.

So I gotta wake up.

And I got.

Is that wrapping mac ten? Or that was a mac ten versus Adam was doing that right?

Well, look it's dazz dyllinger, it's warrangey, it's corrupt, and I do believe that was the voice.

Of mac ten.

That sounded like mac ten to me. Okay, it's a whole West coast.

Wait, what a way to start a song.

Huh yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, And I skipped it.

And that's not.

A new board drop. That is not a new board drop by I wish. I think I'm not a I'm not I'm not supporting, but that is a hell of a way to introduce it's not that's a dude.

Yeah. Yeah, And I'm glad I skipped ahead when Twitter came out. I remember being like, can you remember came out? Can you retweet a tweet that has the animal in it?

If you look at you? I think you could do whatever you want, whether the.

Thank you Adam, thank you Adam?

Think you can?

But should you?

Yeah? Okay, should you need a question? Should?

I forgot? Adam's the bad boy of race relations, and you can, like, you do what you want?

What you can. I'm just saying it might you know, that might blow back on you.

That might not be a good So I guess that's what I'm I'm getting after him.

Okay, Well, how much black would you have gotten?

Yeah?

Blow back after blow back after how.

Much blowback would you have?

I don't know.

I remember asking our founding father, Walt Newman, who discovered us, plucked us from obscurity, and I go, can.

We do this?

And he's like yeah, what And I go all right.

Green and he was like, are you asking me because I'm black? And You're like what, no? Yes, no blow back?

What was that for?

I wonder?

I wonder if our black friends are annoyed when you asked them very special if it questions only because they're black.

I wonder if they're like.

All right, yeah, as if they had the like be the spokesperson, like.

The voice of their entire race. I bet I bet it does. It's a little a little annoying, But you know what, I.

Love explaining white people. It's it's so easy.

Oh yeah, it happens to me about like Czechoslovakian.

Yeah.

I get approached about like Czechoslovakian culture. It's crazy.

Why because you are not Checklesslovakia at.

All, sweetheart?

I am.

My roots are in Czechoslovakia.

And you know that is that is that where that fucking crow magnum jaw came from?

Checklesslovakia?

Kidding me?

You kidd in me, brother, Where do you think this is? What do you think this jaw is? If not Czechoslovak, I.

Think that is cave cave man. Yeah, that's right.

Now that you said that, and I put it together with the chin, it all makes.

It now che chin check baby, you bet check yourself.

I would argue that it's it's it is chin, but it's also just a lot of jaw, Like it's not like you have a chin that is like, yeah.

It's not one of these Wait, what's the difference between chin and jaw? Jaws all the way up?

Right? Yeah? What do you think the difference between a chin and a jaw is?

Okay?

Okay, So you're saying like a chin is like jay leno, how everything forms right at the peak chin, and you're saying that I have I I go on the jaw up. Yeah, I think you have, Like, uh yeah, if you want to use technical terms, all the way up is a great way to explain your jaw.

Thank you.

I'm all the way up. I'm all the way up. Yeah, I've got a I've got a checko Slovakian jaw, not so much a chin. Kind of chin do you think I have? That's probably Irish chin right there? If I got my twenty three and meat, because look do you look at I'm kind of hyped. I've got like gross zero gray in the beard must be nice a little bit. I feel like when I went to Zach's birthday, Pizza's birthday, that's his fortieth, he was like.

Dude, my great friend Zachary Leonardo, he goes by, I wish I was Pizza on Instagram.

Give him a follow.

He's a great guy. Great, such a great guy.

Number one, just love Zach. I just like it.

But he like looked at me, He's like, you don't have any gray in your beard. And then at his birthday he said that, And then I went home in the next year was drunk. I yes, I started to see it.

I started.

I feel like he cursed me.

I'm not even gonna jump on that one.

I feel like he put it, put it into my my skin. M yeah, I doubt it. I think you're just the right age too. Started to turning grea.

So you didn't have one that night and the next morning you did?

Yeah, he did. He gave it to me.

Mmmm.

You fucking disaster, my guy.

Adam, what's happening in your world? Any or anything like a basketball show.

Or something that I did know I went to. I did a fun thing in my neighborhood the other night.

It was so sick.

It was right down the street at that pizza place down the street, Cruisers right and.

Where Zach's birthday was. What the hell? Where Zach's birthday was?

In the parking lot.

They did a throwback like nineties early two thousand's festival that it was all, uh.

What what do you call them? Bands that throwback bands? Yes? But what cover cover bands?

Cover or no, you know what they call them something? They call them something besides cover tribute tribute bands. Yes, exactly.

So there was Blink one more time because they are saying all Blink one two and then no, duh was no doubt, great name. That's a great name. I know exactly what you are.

You didn't like Blink one more time?

If you said that to me, I would not associate that with Blink one eighty two one.

Get I guess, yeah, but no du is spot on.

And they were fantastic and the bassist or guitarist maybe I think guitarists looked exactly like Isaac.

It was very fun. Guy Isaac showed up. It was great.

He was pounding beers like he had never drank before. It was good to see he was chasing some demons. And then yeah, donn there was a whole other the Emo Kids, and they came out and played a lot of uh, you know, early two thousands deep cuts, just general emo kids.

Is that a play on get up kids or what?

I don't know what it was. I think it's there.

They sang a lot of like I'm just a kid, but then they'd do a funny thing where they'd go, I'm actually thirty eight, I'm and I'm only I'm just a kid, I'm thirty four. And so it was actually better because they didn't only have to sing blink on too, because the blink oney two guys, they.

Were good at Ithamcot. But it's not blink on to sure, you know? And what is the I'm just a kid's song?

It's a simple plan. Oh nice a song? Yeah, feel free to blast that.

Okay, Well did you have a Did you have a good time? That's all I want? Yeah, well I had a great time too. Yeah, the mother in law was watching the kid.

Me and Chloe got to go out the community.

Mother in law.

Yeah, the mother in law and uh, well you only one?

Yeah you're well yeah, yeah, unless you get you know.

I like when I watched Blake learn something in real time. I see it just kind of wash over him as he absorbs it and goes and now I know more.

Hey, shut up, man, I'm listening to this song.

I'll skip ahead.

Okay, can you spend every day on your road?

And here it goes.

Nightmare.

Dang, they didn't start that song like Warren g did.

I'm just a kid. Life is a nightmare?

Come on? What the suburban white, suburban white.

Suburban white it was?

Everything was so hard when in fact you look back and as a suburban white it had it pretty fucking it. Why was I screaming that scene at the top of my lungs?

Yeah, well, I don't know. Man, Mom, you buy a spiral bound notebook. I need looseleave Mom.

Thee you applied to be the era Crombie fucking guy in the doorway and they.

Said they said no, no, no, No. I knew, I knew not to go near that.

Well, I knew I was class.

Yeah, maybe we got it, we got it. What did you call it a Crombie?

I don't think I've ever said the word aloud. Did you ever wear I could see Dors wearing Abercrombie. Did you ever wear Ebercrombie Blake? I did not know.

I was never.

No, I don't think I did. I think I might have had like a polo at some point.

Do you want to ask me, Well, I know.

That you would have been the guy, but I think it was a little after your time.

That's was my pitch.

Abercrombie landed full force when I was in high school and took over. Yeah, but I was not a fan. And here's why.

I okay, and let's unpack this. Wait, we'll be right back.

Shorts were too long, and I didn't like cargo shorts. Didn't like cargo shorts.

Yeah, your grandma bought it, fought.

It for many, many years. I don't think I fought a pair of cargo shorts until I moved to LA. Maybe I gave up. I couldn't find short shorts anywhere. I just told my son this story the other day.

Wait, you're you.

You wanted shorts, extra shorts.

I just wanted short shorts. They were getting longer and longer, and I was like, what the fuck is going on here?

Okay, So you didn't rock like dickies, like like dicky shorts like we were, you know, because you could definitely get shorts that didn't have cargo pockets if you like went straight like dickies.

Yeah, but dickies are the longest.

Dickies are the longest shorts of.

So you wanted short shorts, no pockets.

I wanted no cargo pockets and then they just like ceased to exist, and then I bought cargo shorts. Then literally six months later, fashion chains short shorts are back, and I go, god, damn, it got all these cargo shut.

Isn't it nice when it when fashion loops back around to what you like again? And I'm so scared because right now, like baggy pants are in, I can finally my thighs and ask and finally and as they can finally fit into pants and shorts again. But it's starting to time back up.

I know that it is. It's looping back around.

Are you going to go full full loose Hollywood pants at them?

I will? Oh God, I want to.

You're gonna go like this is just like my math teachers growing up had like the big loose.

Slacks, loose I want to look like d. L.

Hubley or or Steve Hardy.

That's exactly what I'm saying. Comedy Yeah, call me, said my math teachers. It was like the Kings of comedy suits. And I was just like, I'm never I'm not, that's not for me. Can't Cedric Adam Tayner, Dude, I would love that. I would love that, dude.

And that's what is like fashionable right now, I'm like, okay, let me fucking ride that. And then what's cool is we're now at the age where you don't have to follow trends, you don't have to go one direction. Yeah, I love it, so so now I can finally go okay, I can buy twenty pairs of pants.

Now ride it out to the end of my life.

No, dude, what are you bro? You guys are celebrities. You're still in the public eye. You're on Jimmy Fallon like, you need to still approach fashion. You can't just roll up in big dog t shirts.

Dude, big wide loose pants.

Though you Look at dude, look at Adam Sandler. Oh, he's been dressed like a fucking elementary school kid his entire.

Cadoms and that's your fashion. I com right at them.

He stamped that.

I love he stamped that. He's he's almost of fashionista off of being anti fashion.

Right.

Okay, so well, then you need to really slop your game up, because you're kind of right.

I'm not.

It's not it's not a sloppy look. It's it's a it's a tailored look, you know, but it's who me what you I'm doing.

Yes, I'm not.

Would you rather be like tailored out of fashion or like so out of fashion that you're back in fashion. I want to not think about fashion in the way that I know you do. Every day You're constantly thinking about keeping up with the Joneses.

I don't want to think about that at all.

I want to buy tants okay, and then die. You see us, live in these twenty pants for the rest of my life and never have to go pants shopping, never buy another camp pants okay, and then buy them in some sizes, maybe go two sizes up from where I'm at now to have some wiggle room when you get a little.

Yeah did your grandparents dress from their best era? Mind it for sure?

Yeah.

My I never saw my grandfather in jeans. He would go fishing in slacks.

In My grandparents were dressed still like it was because they had like that was like their top earning years, their like most stylish clothes.

Okay, they were still rocking. That is that the ship when like they would wear the pants above their belly button.

Like oh yeah, the whole ninegs bab by the way, I would love that.

Trench coats like Derby hat and I'm like, yes, I would love that.

My grandfather wore slacks, dress shoes and a button up every day every.

Day, right, and you would love it.

And I'm like, that's that's what I would love.

I mean, not that that's not your I want to wear. I want to wear some baggy jeans. Yeah, you need jankos and a T shirt or or exactly what I'm wearing out a T shirt and basketball trucks.

Yeah, shorts wearing basketball trunks.

This guy's a baller. I do want to give credit to a Tiba Jefferson who's always worn big pants. Okay, he really waited it out, he didn't. He never want skinny. Yeah, everyone noticed, everyone talked about it. He doesn't know, but everyone talked about it behind his back.

A lot didn't ever wear skinny jeans.

I don't think he ever had a skinny jean era.

Never have never seen it.

Well, you know, it's hard to skateboard in skinny jeans.

But they did. That's what they did.

Wow, they did?

Wow? Did they?

And didn't they didn't?

Didn't they ever? We did we?

And did you say didn't? Or do you say didn't?

I It all depends. It depends when you catch me. I say didn't. No, I think, I say didn't.

Yeah, you do didn't it?

Yeah? I say you say didn't, which is fine. He says didn't didn't, I don't say didn't. Need I say didn't so dumb? I say, didn't so dumb? I say you're all so dumb?

Were all?

I say, Pat, We're not. We're not as dumb as.

The more people listen, the more they're like, unfollow you guys are idiots? Like a dum it is.

It is a little bit like, wow, how did they create a television show?

How are they good at what they do? When? When when you hear them on the fly, sound so dumb.

Here is what the podcast has opened up to me and exposed myself to is that go.

For I'm gonna go take a show.

I don't speak well on the fly. But if you give me a second to think about it and gather my knowledge that I've gathered throughout my life, I can form gather.

One word collected.

You're a stupid dumba accumulated.

I can form gather my knowledge that I've another word gather.

I can form pretty intelligent sentences. After I've gathered everything I've learned through rather, I'm not I'm not as dumb as you.

I think this is a slippery This is a trap. Yeah, telling people you're not dumb.

Yeah, yeah, whatever, it's it's way better. It's way better to lean into being dumb. And then when you know another word for gather, then people are like, wow, he does know a synonym for gathered.

In my fifties, I'm gonna buckle. I'm gonna you know, hunker down and really start learning gathering.

Gathering.

So wait, you're only what forty four now forty three almost.

We're knocking on forty fours this month.

Knocking on forty four, so you have six years?

What time is this? When's this drop this episode?

Wait?

Is that is that close? It's coming up a few weeks. I'm accepting gifts.

Oh my god, here's my thing. Do you guys feel like you're getting dumber? I feel like I'm getting dumber.

You are differently smart.

Yeah, I'll say that for you.

Yeah, I think I'm I think my brain is rotty.

Yeah, you are brain rot I'm wiser like about life, but I sure I'm getting dumber, Like I just don't have room for stuff, especially when you start parenting. You're like, oh, my brain starts fartening when I talk to my kids. I can't do a fucking complete sense.

Oh yeah, I would say that is right.

I got some geography questions that threw me for a motherfucking loop.

Well, dude, you thought Ohio was on the west coast.

So that's that's even, That's just the United States. The fact that I fucked that up is really bad. But then I got asked like, do other countries have states? I'm like, no, we're the only ones who have states. And then as soon as I go I.

Don't know the answer to that.

Who else has Mexico has? Mexico has thirty one states?

Yeah right great. By the way, not knowing shut up, bitch, Ohio isn't on the east coast is dumber than knowing states in Mexico is way dumber.

Yeah, well, I wish I would have known. It's hard. It's hard. There's a lot of knowledge in this world. It's really hard to gather it all in.

It's really embarrassing to be like when you get asked something by your kid and then you're like, let's google it, and then they're like, you're an idiot. You just google everything. You don't know anything.

I used to just.

Look at Atlas well, I feel like I know what Sun says that to you, and I would be I feel like you're you're your oldest son would really take me to task. I think I think he could really dress you down and be like you're an idiot and you and you could feel that in your soul.

He used to ask me questions. And now when we like drive anywhere, it's just quiet because he's like, you can't. He's like, there's nothing I can do.

You lose.

I'm wasting my time.

If I speak with you, I'm not getting anything for you ahead of you.

I guess I'll fucking talk if I need to know about Dobie Gillis or whatever.

You know. Wow, fucking great pol Thanks man. I gathered it a while ago. Yeah, but you know what it is. It's just quiet. And then when the light turns green, he's like, you can go now the right and then I just like slam on the breaks real quick.

And Jacket, is there ever a point?

And Honors has boys, so it's probably different than than Blake, But do you ever just want to like just.

Hit your kids?

We've been over this because I was hit. But it's like the first it's the first instinct. You're like, this is when you hit them. This is the moment.

Yeah, this is when you're just give them a little whack.

And you're like and you don't have the tools with because you can't pull from your uh no, you can't pull from like your experience as a kid hearing your parents be like, so I'm like inventing ship, you know what I mean. I'm like, that's it. When my wife sends me like the articles I read like the headline and then like the little one underneath them, like, oh maybe something from that.

Wait, so what are you trying to what? And the articles are like here's why we don't hit our kids or what.

Is I wouldn't read that. I wouldn't read that.

No, it's like here's some alternate alternative different like parenting shit, right, you got some like new new Age punishments parenting stuff.

Just you scroll down to the bottom paragraph where they go in summary, Yeah, don't hit them, but yeah no, but you know you're trying.

This is when you put it in a chutch ept and go summarize this article for me.

Yeah, you could do that, probably should hit.

Are you just? You just and you hand the phone to your kid and you go read that, read that, do that, do that? But like, instinctually I don't have the like but dad, dad, GPT set my knee. Jerk reaction is to knee this little jerk is like yeah, definitely physical as opposed to like this is the moment you say that one thing that made you kind of check yourself as a kid. Yeah, Like like when I hear people go.

You say, hey, oh do you want to be a bitch? So like stuff like that, you want to be a bitch? Dude, thank you doing that?

Yeah?

And then I go too late, you are one.

You are one totcha bitch and I'm not going.

To let you up until you say sorry.

No.

But like remember when I whenever people would be like when your parents say like, I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed, Like isn't that the worst? I'm like, I'm like, what world are you talking about? This is some real emo shit.

Hell yeah, I'm not angry, I'm disapported.

Like that was never like a thing in my household. They were like I'm angry. There was never like a I'm just as.

Yeah, I never really got that the only time I ever because my parents wouldn't really get that angry and mostly was just like whatever, and that I really didn't get hit. I probably should have been hit a few more times it was. But Kyle, you have, actually, yeah you have.

Don't worry about it.

You hit me one time when I was I was snapping a this is I think I was.

Yes, no, I was flicking a a.

Candy necklace and flicking you with the things. And you told me, if I do that again, I do it.

I do this, sparentine.

And I did it, and you hit me viciously hard, right in my chest, and I lost my breath.

I do remember that this is having older brothers.

It wasn't It wasn't a tip for tat it was it was to a three to a ten, the amount that payton.

But this is having This is having older brothers. And when you fuck with older brothers, this is how they react.

And by the way, I'm never going to flick you with a Kenny necklace ever.

Again.

I learned. I learned.

I gave you the at least after he says don't do it. At least after he says like, don't do it. If you do it again. It's it's coming back to you. So really, I learned like I could take it up to a point where durs and then I have to be you can take it up to a point where everybody with you. I'll just do it all day long.

I'll do it all day man.

Okay, all right, wait till I snap. I'm coming back with fucking weapons. Nune Chuck Blake's. Blake's weapons would be so funny you're lying back with just like some fucking foam numb chucks can get you.

I got you a pool noodle.

I'm buying a gun tomorrow.

What are your knee jerk reactions when they're writing on the wall or like, uh, they're doing.

Whatever, ship in their pants throwing it at you me. Yeah, well you, I mean, my kid's so young. I'm not going to hit a one year old.

But Adam's not there yet. Yeah, you don't hit them. You just twist the armskin. Go ahead, go ahead, you hit him with the phone book.

I mean, you set a bar. So if if you set the bar so far that it's hitting, then the kid will walk into that. But if you make the bar, hey, you got to sit on this bench and stay there. That will feel like a super effective punishment.

Like and the bench has like nails on the bench has it's like a bench of nails, right, yeah, yeah, okay, now, yeah that's genius. I didn't understand it.

As soon as you start to break the plane of like the mental punishment into like the physical punishment, it just it changes it.

God much.

How many times have you called betterhelp dot com? Because this seems like it was straight up from a That is not a thing that you thought up your own. Someone told you that through your years and years and years of seeing someone and talking to someone.

No, yeah, you learn it along the way. You learn as you go like that, or I don't.

I don't want to learn nothing. I want it to become all that.

You have to talk to other parents and here you have to learn from them. I feel like back in the day, maybe parents didn't even talk to each other, just like we're all, yeah, we all, we all beat their ass.

You think parents didn't talk to each other at all?

Though, I don't know.

Interesting, I don't know often where parents I've definitely gotten better parenting.

Yeah, I feel this gentle parenting technique I feel is pretty bitch made though I thought about this the other thing.

It doesn't have to be gentle. It doesn't have to be gentle, it has to be like mental warfare is the harshest thing it can be here.

This is the perfect mix, you know how, Like you can have a freaking the sheets, a lady in the streets with a freaking the sheets.

Right fucking disaster.

My god, I'm thinking about my kids. I'm always thinking about that.

You want to apply the same thing to your daughters, just the way, No, you want them to be that's like like a bitch, sure, but you want them to have like.

Grit, a personal grit, thank you exactly.

Yeah, you want them to be fucking like.

You don't want them to be aggressive, but you want them to be able to handle themselves.

And you don't want to get walked over in this life. This life is hard. The only reason I'm being hard on you is because I the world outside is not nice.

Dude. I would love to hear that conversation with your two year old. Life is hard.

Sit on these nails.

Life is hard.

The only reason I'm making you sit on this bench is because life is hard, and I'm preparing you.

The thing about getting walked on by like other people though, like I don't know, Like the more people I meet who let that kind of stuff to slide, they're like, yeah, I got walked on, but like the person who's walking on people that's gonna come back to bite them in the ass.

Yeah, yeah, I believe in that.

I heard somebody tell a story the other day about getting punched on the subway because they like got on and were standing too close to somebody who was like the fuck off of me and punched them in the face. And I was like, A that person's obviously like.

Crazy lunatic, yeah yeah, and hates themselves and.

You know, let's say for a better story or whatever, they're not a crazy like per street person or whatever. They're just a guy who's got a short fuse who's like, you're too close to me and I'm gonna punch you to tell you to back the fuck up.

Yeah.

I'm like, is that person just gonna go to jail someday, like they've got some shit they're going through, Or do I fight this person? Well, yeah, and potentially ruin my day or life or whatever. Like Connair, the.

Older I've gotten, the more I wouldn't fight that exactly.

But I would say even ten years ago, I think I would have swung on that guy if I suddenly get punched unprovoked, And I think I would try to fight that man a decade ago.

But now I want you go Iowa wrestling on him.

Yeah, I would. I would take him. I'd take him down at the hips, take him down to the ground, little ground to pound obviously. Yeah, you gotta you gotta assess that. What was that situation? It was just like one on one. Were you with your boys, were you with your family.

There's no boys, no boys, there's no fan family.

It's like one on one.

It's one on one, and he's one on one. And let's say he's a business guy. It doesn't seem like he's caring to shive or whatever. You know, he's just like a fucking Sigler guy. Sure, like a Wall Street bro.

And he's he's almost your twin, same body type.

Oh my god. Just so it's just it's fair, Just so it's wait, not me, because we're not Wall Street. That'd be like a fucking rocker like kind of.

The same body type. Like you're not talking about your hair. Isn't your body type?

Oh? My bad, My bad. Like that, there's there's ways to be like, oh yeah, like that guy doesn't take shit right, Like he doesn't fuck around, right, he's like a fuck around and find out type guy. But also you're like, it's a crowded subway, dude, I'm just trying to ride this train and you punch me, Like, are you crazy? Or do I have to fight you?

Now?

I almost does this person learn? Man?

I'm really torn up.

I bet you're an asshole. I don't know what's happening.

It might be turned into a bitch, and I like this.

I blame better help right, this might be better helps fall. Oh yeah, we just lost him as a sponsort. No, they love this shit I and maybe I'm walking this back. You almost have to fight this guy. You almost have to at least push him and say what what is your problem? It's a pack subway?

No, well then it's a fight. Then it's a fight. He's already pushed, So if you're gonna push it, you push him back, then it's on Why are you.

Even pushing him? If I'm punched, I'm punching. I'm not getting punched and then pushing if I'm pushed.

It it's a push to create separation.

I'm either pushing your punching.

So you don't get punched again.

What are you a fucking to push? Instagram video where they showed the person you beat up and they're like.

To create separation, right, sure, okay.

And then those into the brain, nose into brain. What do you do?

Like, I don't know.

You definitely don't go from punch to push.

You know, you go straight sweepkick. What are you talking about?

You go you kick it. You take them out at the knee.

Yeah, yeah, you got you go love and then you make them suck your.

Yeah, you force him to lick your asshole.

And then yeah, you fucking put.

Your right now, send you and send you down there next up.

Meanwhile, it's like five pm, it's absolutely packed.

Yeah.

Yeah, I was actually kind of rooting for the guy that got punched until he made it the other guy eat his asshole.

You fucking disaster my guy.

Yeah, that got really aggressive.

I'd say that's even more aggressive than getting punched in the face.

He turned around and someone just goes, I love New York City.

He then sweep kicked him.

He uh blanca sweep kicked him and then put his fucking nuts all the way down into his mouth.

And one fail swoop sweeping the leg turning was crazy underwear. It gets pulled down, face ends up, credit card, slides her ass cragged with his nose, goes right into the bottom waiting for this.

Oh wait, so that guy ate his asshole. I thought the I thought you were fortune. I thought you were forcing him to eat your asshole his own.

Oh yeah, yeah, So he punches me, but then I I sweep the legs and when he goes down, all in one move. Not no, no, I have a different what's your move?

I sweep kick him and then I grabbed his legs and I put him over his head and then I started leaking his ash.

Let me, I'm trying to like picture this.

Yeah, And I say, now now you now you want to push me?

Baby?

You don't want to push me anymore, do you?

Right? Yeah?

Because you're liking what I'm doing.

You're licking up yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, hey you told him you got him man, all right?

Everything else you lose.

But that's very much like a the type of thing I think you would almost be so shocked that you would probably do nothing. I think the three of us would more than likely not do anything in that moment, unless it's like you just snap, which I've snapped for less.

But that's the thing, is that, do you want to be somebody who is so shocked?

Yeah?

Yeah, I mean yeah, I mean I've snapped for less.

So but Adam, I feel like, Adam, you you snap for other reasons, like how often do you snap on like a like a someone is initiating a fight. That's just a different You really have to gauge a lot of stuff at that. But you when you snap, there's no gauging there. You just snapped and suddenly you're ready. You're fucking flying high.

Hell yeah, brother, No you.

Didn't know that.

Hell yeah.

I feel like the part of the reason I snap was a thing that I've developed since childhood that if you act like a fucking psychopath, no one wants to fight you because you're like, this guy will eat my face like he's a lunatic. Like I don't want to fight him because yeah, he'll he'll bite me, he'll like grab my nuts, he might try to eat my asshole like he's a lunatic. Yeah, but if this guy has already punched you in the face.

Then you can't.

There's no elevating past that because he's already in fight mode.

Yeah, let's step this out.

Okay. Ready, you get on the train. The guy next to you turns, punches you in the face.

Yep, okay, established this.

Yeah, nose bloody. Back the fuck up off and me. Don't don't stand so close you're bloody. You have to just take off your bag, set it down.

You have a bed unbutoned your shirt.

Slowly let him watch you do this.

Wait, you gotta crack your neck.

You you cross your hands on your chest and then you just scratch yourself all the way across in an X.

Oh shit, I'm a dude, and.

Then you just go crazy on him. Right, And if you fail, you at least tried. And if you win, you get to tell everybody on the train that you are the king Daddy of the subway.

That well, yeah that's a story.

You know.

If you failed, you are viral as hell because it's like, look at this bro who took Well, you know what I think you need to do is you need to have a really scary scary tattoo or like a phrase tattooed on your chest. So then when you take off your shirt, Everyone's like, what the fuck, Like, oh shit, this is really scar Like what is it? Are you saying like something Shakespearean? Like what could it possibly? Yeah? Blake, yeah, scary,

But if it's like some ship I have to like.

Adam means like snake dragons eating.

Yeah, I'm talking like, uh, like Satan, some Satan tattoo.

The goats or the goat guy or like I thought you said a phrase.

I mean, I don't know any like Satan phrases off the top of my head.

I'm saying if if what if? If it's words, because of course we could have a picture, like you could have a fucking yeah.

Imagine you take it off, full on yakuza tattoos and everyone's like what the fuck is this?

Then?

But I'm like saying what someone's like seems like cultural appropriation. You're like, I'm in the middle of something. Just give me a second. We'll address that then.

But then they don't know. They don't know how much Asian ancestry I have.

I lived in Japan.

They don't have.

My wife is Japanese, my children are Japanese.

Yeah, hold back story, you're telling to the crowd.

Time out, time out?

What could your chest say that would warn someone not to fuck with you? That could be taken seriously, I'll eat your ass.

I don't I was gonna try and think of on and now I.

Think it would be something Shakespearean person, okay, Blake, name something shakespeare there.

No, you know what.

It would have to be something in like pig or not pig, like Latin.

I bite my thumb at us.

It would have to be regular Latin.

I'm a relius at streamius. I don't know. I would have to.

Okay, very cool, very cool.

Frame want something first.

Of all, you you want something that's easy because in the moment, you want them to read it and be like, oh, what the fuck I mean If it says like Hell's Angels chapter whatever, you know, you know it's like that's like affiliated to some gang or in some way or you know that's good? Yeah, great, great, call a phillious rod Rey guy. You take your shirt off and it says I am a Hell's Angels. Stay away, just says you stay away, buddy.

You just fuck with the wrong alien.

Then it's see you and.

Then there's an ice agent on the train. He comes and takes you away immediately. Yeah, it's like fuck, oh ship on interesting.

Yeah, of course to avoid that situation, those words are kind of lit by like you have like a flying saucer up here on your chest in the light below that says just fucked with the wrong alien from outer space.

I honestly think Kyle has this on his chest.

Is dude, I could Kyle would lose.

Kyle would just start going, He'd get punched, and then he would start screaming and not fighting the guy. Yeah that Kyle would like you've seen the video of the dude like headbutting the car to intimidate the dude and then he knocks himself out.

Yeah, that's the best I must have seen that, I must be seen.

That's the best Kyle.

That's Kyle. Yeah.

I feel Kyle would scream and yell, and the guy would probably be off put and be like, all right, I'm not gonna fight this fucking psychopath. But and then Kyle would like call Isaac and quit whatever job he's working on. Right, It's done, right, He's like, I quit I'm fucking done, dude. This guy hit me on the subway and Isaac would be like, what does that have to do with your word?

Isaac gonna be like, did you take you off your shirt and show him your tattoo and be like I did? He laughed at it.

Yeah, take it seriously, screamed. I screamed and said, why dad.

See you?

I'm not allowed back in New York.

Now.

It's a whole thing.

Is what it is?

God, God, But here's Michael. So the final question for this whole scenario is do you want to be a person who when you get punched in the face, because Adam you said, like in the just so shocked you you'd be so shocked? Or do you want to be the person who goes, I just got punched, I'm in a fight. Now, who do you want to be?

I don't know. I would prefer to be the guy that gets in the fight.

But I think we are all in a precarious situation that if you get in a fight that someone could if you hit someone like I'm jack as fuck, and I know my boys are too, you and me, and if I catch someone just right, he's fucking toast, dude, I don't want to kill a man on the subway, and then you killed a man.

But what if you could? What if you could?

Then your family sues you, and then they now live in your house and they're fucking your wife and they are raising your child. Ye, court order, that's how it goes, man, And I don't know if I'm willing to give up all of that. Okay, great answer like that.

So you're a bit, yeah, I guess, because I think that's what it comes down to, is a bit just considers things right.

But I don't. I don't know what would happen. I mean, you guys know me. I do, I can, I do have a switch. Yeah, it takes me a long time to get to that point, but then I will snap. And I'm afraid. I'm afraid being punched in the face would be me.

I guess.

The only time I was ever punched in the face was I It was at a Queen's of the Stone Age concert in San Diego and I was punched in the face and the guy broke my nose, and you were zy.

I was young.

I was nineteen or twenty and a half of your many nineteen. So they took me out the back because I was bleeding everywhere, and security ushered me out the back and now they're like kicking me out, and I'm like what the fuck?

I was like, I'm where the fuck is this guy? This guy came out and was the scariest looking guy. He was like six four fucking.

Huge, twenty two years.

Old he was, and but like had very scary, like skull and crossbone type tattoos.

And that's how you met Zach Chess said, I am a Hell's Angel.

You better believe it.

But you better watch out. I'm a real Hell's angel, and the mongols as well. And then I'm in that.

We're getting down to his puba care now you're like, what is it? I'm in all the biker gangs, but you better to watch out. MC and I hit hard and I'm like, where the funk is he?

Where is he?

Where?

Good?

Fucking break up to me?

And the guy's like, okay, kid, all right, And then they brought him out and he was like do you want him?

He's like, oh, he's right here, and I'm like, no, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good.

But I think if you if someone is my size and I get hit by him. I would like to believe I would fight a man.

Yeah, yeah, I don't know.

And and dear god, this is not an invitation.

Oh yeah, no, no, no, don't punch us, and pup, don't punch us.

Gods, we're we're old, we're philosopher.

Don't hit us.

Dude, I just if you, if you want to hit one of us ms and pick a time and place.

Please don't be on the cruise and hit me.

Please don't be on the cucause.

Here's here's the here's the real deal. I will sue you for everything you got.

I will be I will have your ass in advice.

I will Hey, we'll fuck your wives. Sorry, we will pass her around. Sorry, we will raise your kids. That was the rules court ordered.

And by the way, and by the way, and now that we have said that, don't show up on a subway with your wife and punch me and then gesture towards your wife who's willing.

Yeah, definitely don't do that because we don't want to.

We don't want this is not what we're doing. We're not setting up some sort of scenario.

Where we don't want to do this.

We don't want to want that. But if push comes to shove comes to punching. But yeah, but if.

I have to fuck your wife and raise your kids.

I will. Yeah.

Absolutely, I'm gonna get them in a good public school. Don't you worry about that. I'm really good.

Please, don't we just we're just talking.

We're just it's this is a This is the same sort of scenario that you're like, god, damn, you know when you when someone says something and you want to like tee off on them, but you know it's it would be a little inappropriate to tee off in them in that moment, or like, like what's like a boss, Like okay, maybe it's a in a professional setting and someone says something or says maybe kind of says a sly comment to you that's like talking down to.

You a little bit, and you're like, and they're actually.

So yeah, and you want to fucking tea off on them, but you choose not to in the moment, and then you go home and you and you're driving home and then you just have.

A fucking soliloquy.

That's essentially what we're doing now.

So I thought about the the other day. I think there's two types of people in this world, and most comedians are the ones that you just talked about. There are people who don't do the thing in the moment, but they go through it over and over and over and they rehearse and they go, oh, I should have done this, I shouldn't that. And then the other people are the people who do the thing in the moment, and sometimes it works out for them, and sometimes it

I feel like you are the person that just says shit in the moment A lot of times, got to walk it back.

I got. I got all sorts of walk backs. That's why I'm in comedy, because I'm like, Okay, here's a scenario. This happened to me, and now we're gonna make it into a TV show. I mean sure, yeah, sure. I feel like how other people are like yeah, I think maybe somebody said some shit to music, kid punched them and anyway, or like they don't think about it if they just move on. Yeah.

No.

I I the handful of times I've I've had slights.

I think about those incessantly, and I have a little list of people that I will never work with, People that Kyle I've could have employed, that I've chosen not to because because of past uh transgression, transgressions and ship that they've said.

And I'm like, hey, how did I you? It says you can't handle these transgressions.

Don't don't slight me, bro, I'm trans Wait what transgression?

Wait? What? Howdam puts the trans and transgression?

I put the trans and transgression. That's kind of cool.

Yeah, if I could pivot to something that probably nobody will want to talk about any.

Take backs and apologies and the epic slams.

You know what I've been noticing lately that you know, sometimes we we hang out with our pro sports buddies. We we we pop a few zins with them.

Yeah, you know, I constantly popping Zin's with my pro athlete buddy.

We told this story, didn't we know? But I didn't we tell the story.

We talked about Zinny with you, with Bo Allen, with Matt Chapman. I've been taking I've been I've been taking a lot of Zin's lately.

Zinny.

I'm starting to feel like I have like you know, when you have like acid flashbacks I'm getting like weird like zin tongue, Like I don't know, I'm starting to feel like sometimes my my tongue it feels like there's a zin in my mouth and it might be it might be something in trouble.

Okay, any takebacks, any apologies and the epic.

Slams and Adam, I'm right there with you. But Blake, Yeah, based on the fact that I haven't done Zen's, Adam, have you done Zen's?

Well, I did the one time with Matt Chapman, Matt Chapman with Chappie professional baseball player, and so you're.

Asking us about our goat my go and by the way, I hated it. I've never even done uh nicotine ever. I'm ever had nicotine.

Soude. So I was fucking on the moon.

It felt like I was on drugs well, on a buzz that turned very quickly. I was like, oh shit, I'm feeling good, like this is this is great. I'm like, why gosh, And then all of a sudden, the room started spinning. It felt like I was on a boat and it's very rocky. I felt like I was gonna ship and also vomit.

And then I go upstairs and It's an after party for the the Doctor Phil show that Blake and I were on. Our buddy Adam Ray does this Doctor Phil Live show. So we we did that and it's after party for that. So I know everyone that's up there or like or they know me, you know. So we have to go up in and like glad hand a bunch of people like, you know, be gracious, talk to people. I'm fucking spinning. I have to sit in a corner like a like a hermit. People are like, oh, is Adam like unapproachable?

He's being weird.

Then these girls come up and talk to me and then I can fight in them. I'm like, I'm feeling like shit, like I just did a zin for the first time, and she goes, I have two zins in my mouth right now, and I'm like, ha ha ha. She took two zins out of her mouth and made me feel like such a bitch.

Well, I guess.

So my question is to Ti Nation, if any of you do Papa zin every now and then, do you ever have like zin back x insanity in insanity that catches back up with you. Sometimes my tongue feels like I have a zin.

Yes, yeah, I think that that's normal. When I was a kid and I was a camp counselor, we would do like chewing tobacco, like the little bags, you know, but like the dips whatever.

Not a snuss, not a snust, but like a true.

Like a little bag. Well, what do they call a dip? Some dip, remember, do dip? But it was be in a bag usually yeah, yeah, or I guess it'd be a little pinch anyway. I remember, so you're doing this like every day for two weeks, you know, And then I remember getting home and for sure my mouth was calling me to go to a seven to eleven and buy some skull or some coke.

Yeah, I'm feeling it back here. That's what it is.

It's just it's just it going. You want more, right, come and zend me.

I haven't zened in a while, but lately the zen is calling me baby.

That's how crazy hollowing me?

Yeah, yeah, it's pretty addicted that maybe I get into it, Maybe I get Maybe I try it again just to see if I can get addicted to something else.

If you get punched in the face on the subway and then you you take your backpack off your bag, you put it you pull a zin out, you put it in your fucking lip, you scratch your chest across into an.

Ex brother, I'm gonna let you know you're in for it, for it now.

That's pretty good.

He's running man, Thanks man. Any take backs, any apologies, any epic slangy self serve, definitely gotta be a take back in there.

So I feel like we dunked on Kyle a little bit when he's not when he's not here to defend himself. I know.

I hate to do it.

I hate to do it because we don't know what he's doing not on the pod. He's not in the pod, so we don't know. He could be eating babies. We're not sure, but I don't I don't like to talk.

Ship on him right water when he's not here. So he could be off eating babies. We're not sure, but I don't like to talk ship on him.

Yeah, okay, thanks for clearing up.

Yeah that's really cool.

A good guy.

I guess shout out to Sin. Send us some zin. We'll do a live segment. We're called the Boy the Boys goes in it.

Yeah, I'll do his zen on on the pods. This is actually great.

Yeah, that would be really cool to do a fully zend up episode. I would love to see durs just now. How does zen affect your tea or Boots got a boost testosterone testoster?

Yeah?

Is that why you started to maybe boost your test I have.

No problem with my levels. I'm feeling I'm actually feeling super jacked lately. So all right, you got some new feeling, some new uh personal records. I will say I ran the other day and I envisioned us, envisioned us doing the Malibu Triathlon, and I'm like, if I'm the guy who's running.

I won't let you guys down. I promise, Adam.

Is your body to betraying you? What's happening?

My body's fully my body's fully betraying your bike yet or no? Uh no, I'm back to barely walking again. I've I've it's my body failed me once again. It was going really good there for a while, and then it started to betray me again. It looks so good, duds, every time I see you, you look good, but you're thanks, dude.

I'm I'm not drinking and I'm eating way less. And that's the trick. It turns out, I don't Who would have thought so probably no triathlon in my near future. I'm hoping next year I'm back baby.

Maybe we get there. I don't know. It would just huddle up and the three of us and it's a cry.

That would be kind of cool. I would enter that I got today was well, that was another episode of.

This The Cause of diarrhe Either you have diarrhea?

Do you get diarrhea too?

I love you, guys,