Ep 244: Bring Back Breastaurants!

Welcome to This Is Important production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what is most obviously, very crucially important today on This is Important.

Borny, middle aged man.

You can't go to lunch without teas.

What let's go.

Fucking We're doing a lot God, god, h fellas.

What's up boys?

Love my guys.

Yes, we're filming this, uh a few weeks late. Uh you know, but I I just did Kimmel last night. I got a lot of Kimmel meurt.

Oh yeah, oh yeah, did you get swagged out?

It's important?

What'd you get?

That's a little Kimmel sick Kimmel? And I got some T shirt.

That's the perfect paparazzi hat to just be like, guys, no photos, I'm just walking.

But you got that on.

This is how when you're on TMZ, you let them know that you're an actor. Yeah, but so so that you're like, oh, stay away. But the reason that they came up to you in the first place is they're like wearing at Jimmy Kimmel had to have on.

He has sunglasses on inside at night? What's going on? He must be.

Must be trying to get me to talk to him. The worst is when they come up to you and then you're like, oh god, TMZ is coming up to me again. God, I'm so famous.

That's the worst. That and boiling alive.

No, And then they don't come up to you. No, and then they just don't even turn the camera on. They just talked to you. That's happened to me before. The guy, one of the really one of the main dudes who I see all the time, he just didn't have anything to say to me. He came up to me and he's like, so, how's that cold plunge? Not filming, just asking how my cold plunge? And I'm like, it's good, it's good. You want to turn that camera on so

The reason they gave it to me was so I would talk about it on camera. So maybe fire that bad way up.

Maybe old you want to make me feel like I'm doing my job at a high enough level that TMZ would care. And he's like, nah, they don't care.

They don't care, Like, oh, point blank. You know what.

My favorite one is when like when celebrities get their phone out and they're like, you like it when I film you, and they're all like.

Couldn't care less, that's that's fine, I don't care.

Yeah.

Actually I do think they do get kind of mad a little bit about what Yeah who, I don't know. They don't like being on camera, but what are.

You going to do it?

You're not selling it to anyone.

I do remember, like early on when we were doing like red carpets, trying to take photos of the people taking photos of us, and they got upset. They did get upset. I don't know why.

Maybe they didn't like Yeah, I do remember that too. I remember.

Yeah, it was a little it was a little weird. Yeah, And were you like it's a two way street. Yeah, I'm like you No, I just thought they were beautiful as well. Maybe it was even Kyle that did that. That sounds like a Kyle move.

No, I think it was me. I think I was the one doing it because I was like filming us on the red carpet and being like, look at all of the people taking photos and then they stopped taking photos and they're like, we don't get our photos taken, we take the photos of you. And it was like literally the first red carpet we had ever been on, and I was just excited.

They don't like it.

I was just excited.

When they're they're dressed in like their pajamas. I guess I see where they're coming from. Yeah, like when they get a little gussied.

Up gusty, which isn't that often. It's kind of a cush gig, just roll out of bed.

Yeah, I would like. It's a nice Maybe that's my retirement. Blake's going to be a jugglo and I'm going to be a pap I'm going to be a paparat or a red carpet I mean, I let's make sure.

Let's be clear about this. It's different. There's paparazzi and then there's photographers who are at red carpet.

Yeah, I'm going to be a red carpet guy because paparazzi you have to be out there all the time, just stand on breed corner.

I mean, you should have seen when if you're watching this on YouTube, Adam's face, he's just exasperated even thinking about it.

You gotta be at the lax all the time. You're always at lax.

The thing with the place.

Somebody help me you're outside of Hollywood hotspots, standing outside of the area, you gotta be at the farmers market at Lax. They game you.

They game you so hard.

Now they roll up like fans and then you're like, Okay, I guess I'll talk to this person. And then it just goes oh, and you're like, I thought we were just like talking.

I thought we were.

Friends, until they don't, until they go you're just talking and they're like, I'm with GMC, and you're like, where's your camera. You're like, they're like, man, we don't care, we don't care about you.

I was just wondering if you knew what time it was.

I was wondering if you'd like your cold Plunch or not. I'm like, I don't I like my renew cold Plunch. Please film this.

Well, well, I know this was weeks ago, but how was the Jay Kimmel experience? Dude? Did you have fun?

It was awesome? I love He's my favorite, I think out of all the talk shows.

Really well, now that now that uh, it's.

Really close to my house, so that that that knocks him up a point or two.

It's just a proximity convenience.

Yeah, because the tonight Show is also super fun just the history of it. Fallin is a fun, cool guy. But but you gotta fly all the way there a little bit of a hassle. This is so close it's easy. And also it's super fun. And you know there's they got that bar backstage. It's a good time.

That's dope. He's just like, I mean, girls jumping on trampolines. Yeah, do you think he's bummed about the Man Show? Does he still? He still claims it? Right? I think he's fine that he did it.

Then.

I think he's like, I wouldn't do it now, but I'm fine that because the Man Show was pretty freaking sick or a young for a young man.

Like, we're in the same boat. We're in the same boat, dude, when we're in our fifties, we might I might not like that I showed my butthole in Game Over Man, right, my actual I.

Know for a damn fact, you're always gonna be super hyped you did that. All you're gonna be talking about at the retirement home. Yeah, stop, dude, I know when they're changing your fucking diaper, you might recognize that asshole.

Huh.

You don't know me, but I bet you know me down here. They're like, stop, stop, sir. Maybe maybe uh he thinks he was in a movie where he showed his asshole. We think he's losing his marbles, my mirrorble, which is a clinical term. The Man Show was so freaking of its time. That was really I want to go back and watch some episodes. What was it a sketch show?

Yeah?

It was like a Man on the Street show any Milanakis, not gonna get him flowers?

Super funny. Yeah, he played like a kid, was it him?

Wow?

Dude?

Yep? Okay, Yeah, I missed the time and when we as men could just as a society say that we like tits, dude, we like them, okay, and we're willing to just say that and be okay, and you know what, I like that you're saying that and stand on two feet and say, I, as a man, if you don't like tits, and that doesn't make you less of a man.

You do, you do?

But I would say the majority of straight men like some big old, big old titties jumping on trampolines, and that's just a thing that we like.

It's just a fact of I don't like you guys.

Tell me and the fact that we can't say that now without being shunned by society.

You can. You are saying me, and it's well.

I know I'm saying it, dude, because I'm a down ass fucking dude. But you know, true, bro, I would say most bros are a little frightened.

And what is I'm getting a call Jimmy Kimmel. Oh you don't want Adam saying that while wearing a hat with your name on it. Yeah, and I'll tell him very cool.

No, no, dude talking about his old shows. He is correct. And the one thing that has really proven this fact is is the fact that Hooters has gone bankrupt.

Dude, believe it. I am.

Do we swoop in? Do we swoop in with a new restaurant for all those down ass dudes.

All those guys who need to see titties at lunch.

You can't go to lunch without titties? What dude? They did everything in their power. Yeah, welcome to Cooters, just like super tight wrapped h ceram wrap coachy shorts. Oh you said Cooters. I thought you said Cougars. And I'm like that's not a bad idea either. No, no, no, just like hot single older women. There's one one real cougar in every restaurant, damn every hour.

H do you I mean there's still like Twin Peaks right that that's the other that was the competitors. And I have no.

Idea what you're talking about, Adams, like, I'd road trip once a month to the closest Twin Peaks.

No.

No, there's Twin Peaks out and about. There's Twin Peaks. There's also there's also a place called the Tilted Kilt. I think that's like in like Vegas. That's kind of similar.

And what well you you look at the website of Twin Peaks and you're like, okay, I could, I could, I could get into this.

Holy shit, let's look at the menu.

This seems a okay, this seems up my alley.

You know what. And this is not a joke. I will say right now, Hooters.

Day you're the Wings, dude.

Daytona Wings are so freaking fire, dude. They are off the chain. That's when they mix the barbecue with the buffalo and it's so damn good.

Oh yeah, the.

Peaks looks like it's a little higher echelon than well.

Of course the website does, But does that mean really think based on the the sober icpe guys from last year's or last last week's episode Monster websites alone, yes, they look like they're quality.

Well I think, yeah, this is it's a new It's it's not as many locations as Hooters had, so there, I think there on the company might be a little higher.

See all locations, I mean.

Dude, see look at all these locations. Look at how many locations there are in Florida?

Is there one in Conquered?

My god, well, Florida gets it a lot happening there Algonquin. I like, we all just got really quiet and now we're just staring at this website.

Yeah, I mean right, but like where there's one on Squirrel Road in Auburn Hills where Yes, So that's what I'm saying, is Beaver there's one in Beaver Creek. You know it goes off Oh yes, points, yes, camelback.

I missed that time when you could just stand there and say, hey, I like kitties.

I'm not afraid to admit it.

There's one in Conquered. Of course, there is no, There's not no, it's that's got to be new Hampshire. That can't be. That can't be conquered California. There's no way says conquered on on conquered Mills Boulevard. That doesn't I don't think that's my conquered, not my conquered.

That's not why you don't. You wouldn't want this, Uh, you wouldn't want this.

I would completely want it. I would just be very aware of it. Are you kidding me? It looks like it's outside Charlotte, Charlotte, Okay, yeah, that's not my conquered You kidding me? That would change the freaking old town Corpus Christy be the Deer Valley. Yeah.

So there's there's a handful of these types of restaurants, a handful. As they are they doing well, they got.

To be doing well. They I think it's state by state. I think maybe California is going kind of it's kind of weak. That's gotta be Hollywood Florida, right, it's got to be. It's all Florida. Florida gets it as as you know, Florida gets a bad rap for being a little looney Tunes. But they do take some swings that commendable.

Well, I will say that they're not afraid to just have fun, just let it fly down there. And if that isn't consider, if that's considered a little kookie and a little out there, sure, yeah, fine.

Then I guess I'm a little cookie, and I guess I'm a little kooky. Adam's a Florida man. Adam is a Florida man at heart. Bye, guys, I'm still on the website.

We know, and it's and it's making for very bad podcasting because you're just staring your mouth.

Is an eight at least, at least read out loud what you're I'm doing, dude.

I'm I'm trying to like spin the conversation a little bit, getting back to where we're having an actual conversation.

There's one in Indian Hills.

There's one on Beaver.

Creek, dude, there's one Beaver Creek. Very funny. There's one in Conquered, not the Conquered we know. There's one in Hollywood, not the Hollywood.

Okay.

Now there's one in Madison, Tennessee, not Madison, Wisconsin. What's happening.

I'm gonna come, what are we doing here?

Nothing? That's just where they've decided to put their location.

I know, but they're misleading.

I'm assuming they're they're going in like smaller markets edge outs.

There's nothing small twin Peaks.

But yeah, I would say if a family trip to Twin Peaks, maybe maybe we're getting a new sponsor out of this steal.

Did you see the did you see the catchphrase right under the logo twining Twin Peaks Eats, drinks and scenic views. Baby, Now is this in Terrell Tarret, Texas? If this isn't Terrot, Texas, I'm gonna go crazy. What are you talking about the hometown of Jamie Fox, Tarret, Texas.

Please come back to us.

Is that where they got it?

Please come back to us.

Okay, it is you, grandma, Please come back to us. Exit out of that.

Maybe maybe let's not put any more websites in the.

No, dude, come back to us, buddy, can you wait? And the you know, the wings, the wings look okay, the wings look good. The wings look really good. So adam back to your titties conversation. Okay, now we're back on an old Howard Stern interview.

And the woman comes in and goes, oh wow, you got your breasts are much better than I thought they'd be and she's like, oh, thank you, and he's like, you know, like what that's a little wild, right.

Very yeah.

I would say we're beyond that. We're beyond that. But the fact that, like, now, if there's if if you're really like if you are at a Hooters or something, I guess that's.

Not even we say twin peaks? Can we say twin peaks?

Is that what's called is at a twin peak? To kill kill and there's just bodacious racks walking around?

Uh huh.

I think you could just say this place is awesome. There's bodacious racks walking around all over. But if it's not in an environment like that, and a girl just comes in and she's just where you know, your boobs are huge. But if she she hasn't flopped out, she's dressed.

He this argument before.

If they're flopped out, not to her, you don't say it to her.

I think you can.

I think in polite society you can. Then your guys be like, holy moly.

Hot hot, holy moly, And I'm gonna end it right there, holy moly holy. So here's my question.

If you work in a workplace, if you work in a workplace, where there is a woman who wears revealing outfits where her her hands are out and it's it's a distraction for everybody, right, Yes, do you go to HR and hang on to HR?

No?

No? No? And uh and fist bump them and go why don't you cry about it?

Hey?

I just wanted to bring this to your attention. Cheryl's Cheryl? What are we doing? Sorry? Sorry, she's not the only Cheryl dude. Come on, and I am sorry, I am shock. That was that? Was that? I should have said? I should have said, Hilary dude, thank you a good great callback from When was that was that last week? Jeez? I think it was last week. Yeah. Sorry, didn't mean to derail it there, man, I did, no, it did I was. I took a walk for a joke that

No? I would say, in fact, if you have let's let's say you're you have such a bodacious rack, okay.

Wait I do, I hold on, let me envision yours does? Okay?

And a woman does, and it's so distracting that you can't get you know, it's it's hindering the workplace. Yes, I feel that that is a welcome reprieve from the grind, the monotony of everyday life. That that woman should get a raise. And she's getting a raise out of me, She's getting raised from everyone, But I would say she should get a raise.

This podcast was brought to you by nineteen ninety nine.

Yes, that's what I'm saying. Bring it back, man, this is cool.

Man. Okay, that's interesting.

Now that being said, If a guy, if a guy is so handsome, if Brad Pitt works at your office, and all the women are lusting because women are just as bad as you, like how they talk.

Finally, thank you, Adam. Go ahead, you've got the floor. Thank you, Adam. Go off.

King. When you get a group of women just googling and ogling, go off these men.

Yeah, I feel super offended when that starts to happen to me. I'm not offended.

I'm like, yes, Google Ogle do it, do.

It, God, Google perfect doesn't bother me. I mean, you've you've been You've been on Google me, google me whatever you want, baby, dude.

You've been on the meet and greet, to the gauntlet of the meet and greet.

How many times has your ass been grabbed.

Yeah, it gets grabbed here and there.

By women kung fu grab hundreds hundreds of times. You need another four inches. It's constantly being grabbed.

Yes, sometimes people, Well I think that that is crossing the line. But yeah, no, I mean no, yeah, we let it fly.

Do you let you fly?

Yeah?

I don't think you should ever unwilfully touch somebody, but yeah, no, probably it's a meet and great.

And in fact I don't. I don't love that either.

But to be fair, they did pay one hundred dollars. Yeah, yeah, so yeah, yeah, you may touch. You could take them, take it easy, bake, let them, let them.

You should get a little cop cop a little you could take it. If you want to take a chunk out of.

It, you can get a grip.

Yeah.

So I was walking down that road.

Uh. And I will take most of that conversation back at the end of this podcast. But which is fine.

But it's good to say it out loud so that someone can clip it and post it O you know what out But you're right, but you it's good.

To just to you know, I'm just I just said the Man show. I feel like it would not there's not a world where that will ever come back, and it just it really brought me a lot of joy when.

I was in high school, I think is what it was on.

And I don't think there'll be something like that with like commercials like, but someone can for sure just start like a YouTube channel that's basically the same thing and people will be into it.

Yeah. Yeah, you're right, you're right.

I just want to party.

And maybe that's our spinoff podcast.

Now we're talking. Okay, okay, cool the Dude crew. Maybe we need to fire that up, dude.

Yeah.

Live from Twin Peaks, this is.

Knockers Middle aged men, Welcome, Welcome to Knockers Talk.

We talk mostly about knockers.

Uh, Knockers Talk.

We still three dads, We still love boobs Blake.

Did you see any knockers? Oh? Oh did I ever?

Man?

Oh just about gotten a car accident on the way here. Whip my head around so hard.

Holy and we.

Bring back Flash Fridays from Tomcas. It is flash right.

You know. Tomcas is a neighbor of mine. I think we talked about this. Yeah, yeah, that's awesome.

Yeah, okay, that's cool. What do people call him when they called in dumb? You know?

They called him king or dad Dad. No, they called him dad. They call it and be like hey Dad, and you go hi son.

So Tom like likeas was is a shock jock here in Los Angeles? Yeah right, yeah.

Yeah yeah, I don't know how this was the same.

Era where he just got fired. Yeah did he?

I thought he got like beat up and was like, I guess I'm done.

He did.

I think he got hit with a bat outside of a club. Ge Yeah, but he was very club yeah, like he was hit with a club outside of a bat. What are we talking here? Oh, guy hit with the baseball bat, like outside of a nightclub.

He was going to nightclubs. The guy was like sixties going to nightclub.

Dude, he was a player, did yeah, but he was like notoriously single, and he's very rude desperate girls looking for like a daddy.

Oh god, oh yikes.

It was very rude to you, you bitch, yikes, cheat fucking It was unreal now that you you do have the best Tom likes, I'm like, although it got people were just doing it way better than me though. I was like, oh, I didn't realize this was like a easy, easy impression. He's good. He was really good.

Hello, son, did she have big old breasts?

I'm gonna come.

Oh, man, did you fuck her or dump her? Sometimes you gotta fuck him and dump him. Seven eight five, Tom call in tell us about your horse, and you're like.

Uh, this is on the radio, bitch.

Yeah, so I take it back about wanting to go back to this this time.

Yeah, because it was a dark times, A dark time, dude, that's horrific.

It's a dark time.

Funny funny though, Yeah, funny.

You know, you just got to look through a different lens. You know, prism come a long way. I've come a long way? How far? How far? How far you've come? Said? Come along? You came a long way? How far I'm gonna come? Brought to you by load boosts. Hey did you take the load boost I sent you? Hey, load boost I've come a long way, brought to you by Twin Peaks and load boost. Hey, science has come a long way. God damn, we could write some load boost Adam.

No, I'm that man. I clicked on the I clicked on the link that said it's a restaurant, is what they're called like Twin Peaks, Tilted Kill Kills, Yes, bikini sports bar restaurants, that iss bar and Grill a restaurant, which is funny, genius. And then there's the male variation and that stop by mails with a similar focus on the servers appearance, including Tali Whackers Monster opening in Dallas fifteen.

It is Holliwack. It's in Dallas.

It was open in May and closed by August, so like a little year and a half later.

They didn't know, They didn't know Dallas might not be interested in that real man.

Maybe not.

And then in Japan there was a.

Place called Macho Meat Shop fuck where browny men serve food and drinks Mancho meat Can.

You imagine working there? That's the documentary. I mean how's the food though?

Well, the thing is is, I feel like most women wouldn't want to eat at like a like a meat shop, like usually.

I'm SKay, dudes, these are all invented for dudes.

Yeah, dudes are just too horny.

I think we're too horny.

We're no, we can't we're too horny.

If you don't want us to want to watch girls jumping on trampolines, we got to figure out a way to get the horny out of us. We got to too horny. How to make men less spart.

I think the meat the meat factory or whatever it's called, Macho Man's meat factory. Yeah, all those guys there working there, they're selling meth, right, Like you're you're also a drug dealer, right.

Yeah, well no, isn't no gate. Dudes, do they do meth?

Or they do? They do math? You want to see it?

They do meth?

Okay, okay, we do we do they poppers?

Isaac immediately wrote poppers, hoppers duds.

Isaac couldn't be faster at better moments.

Poppers, they do poppers.

And also he was syndicated across the country. Oh that was okay, great, Tomas was yeah on fire. Isaac's just dumping so much info right now. It's crazy. It's info wars in the chat room with Isaac.

With your bodies right now? Do you guys think you could work at those restaurants or would you be turned around?

Well?

What are the required?

Would I be turned around? Like turned.

Like what do you mean? Like send back out the door? Like sorry, sir, we're not interested in your body? What are the requires?

I think we're a little long in the tooth.

I think I'm a little long a couple of places.

You need another four inches, so you're not Blake. There's been too many jokes. We know, we know you're not too long.

Yeah, but you gotta have the You gotta have that one guy like in Magic Mike wasn't there, like the one old guy who was still jacked.

But I mean, Durors, you have a white mustache. I mean I could barely stand up for more than ten minutes at a time. My back hurts so much.

Right, I think I'm good to but that's not what I'm talking about.

And you know, Blake might actually be too good to go, a little too good?

G two G. I think I'm good to go, baby G two G.

Yeah, I would think so. I think you could. I think out of the three of us, Blake is the most.

So good. And do you sit down in the booth? I never minded going to Hooters. It's a good time. The food is excellent, it's great, titties are out when they sit down in the booth with you.

Yeah, I don't like it.

I'm always like, can you get your weird leggings away? And the band aids over the tattoos. I'm like, the band aids over tattoos. Can we do this at a distance please?

Yeah, they had to like cover their tattoos with like band aids back.

In the day. I didn't know that.

I always had a real BAMD That's what I remember. I did not know.

Maybe that was in the nineties. I think in the two thousands they started to coming around on individuality. Sure, that's what we're calling it. And Adams looking at the Twin Peaks website, there's no doubt in my mind he's like, appetizers, look good.

No hands right here. I'm just looking.

We're not saying, we're not saying jacking it.

If I was looking, I'd be strong. I'd be strong.

You might have a fleshlight situation. Yeah, did I tell you, guys? I did the I used one of those things that they sent the pure love or whatever.

Oh you jerked off in one of those things?

Yeah, I did. Wow, And then that go, Yeah, please tell me more.

This is the horniest pot yet.

Let's just say, uh, science has come a long way.

Oh, so you're you're liking it. You liked it?

It was a one? No, no, it was a one and done well.

It kind of has to be right or else were you gonna put that in the dishwasher where your kid's dishes are? Yeah?

What are we talking about?

But that's what you're supposed to do, is like rinse it. You can rinse it in a sink or whatever. But I was just like, this is such a production, you know.

Yeah, see that's the thing.

They got to figure it out where where it's it's less of a thing like it's gotta be pre lubricated.

Or somehow it's not. It doesn't come right.

What the thing?

Explain what it is? Step it out a little. It's a it's like people saw it on the or saw if you you were like you were blowing into it. You're blowing it up. It's basically like a flexible rubber whatever cut type thing with a hole in the middle with a bunch of little nodules in there.

That oh that's right, that thing, yeah, with a three different holes and there's like swirls and ship on the inside.

Yeah, and you got to like, poor lu Ben, you gotta use I haven't sure, but I just was like, they sent it. What am I gonna do?

I haven't sit here, Let's see what it's all about you know, it's fine.

I can't just fine, I can't donate to good Will. What am I going to do with the dandy? Yeah? You could drop it in the in the in the good will box, right, well, you know for the pod. Yeah, these are that market I don't know. I don't necessarily hit record what I'm supposed to, right, but if you send me a little thing to fuck, I'm trying it. Yeah, a little market research, but yeah, I just it's like

It has to be an empty house situation because could you imagine, oh god, could you imagine.

Someone one of the kids comes running.

In and I can't imagine any other scenario.

Yeah, and and all of a sudden you got a three pronged or two like, I mean, many different holes to fuck in this thing. It's scient I don't.

I don't like those things.

And if your kid walks in and goes, dad, that's a lot of you. You're like, what's a lot, dad?

What do you you just jerk off like a normal person.

Yeah, that's a lot, even if it's you know, not the kids, like the wife like, I don't know, it's just a lot to walk back. That's a better case scenario because then you at least comes her out there, like what how do you pad it? You just fuck.

You to say hey, yeah, hey are you and her?

Yeah?

You and her? And she's and she'll probably go, yeah, just keep doing what you're doing.

Yeah, yeah, you keep as you were, soldier. She hits you with the.

Yeah, I'm gonna just keep sucking this selecting the can thing just.

Salutes you real quick and ducks out of the word stand stand down, soldier. But works for me. She always goes like, is it for the pod? And I go yes, and she goes.

Carry on, absolutely, okay, absolutely, that's smart for the pod.

We're doing it for the pot.

It's for the pot.

That's when we open up our own restaurant.

It's for the pod. We the pod. What do you want me to do?

Not open a restaurant for the pod, honey, it's for the pot a bit.

It's a restaurant chain.

It's a restaurant chain. It's about the board's.

We're We're in Conquered, We're in Madison, We're in We're in Austin, Pennsylvania. All right, yeah, just trust me on this.

These are in Las Vegas, Tennessee. Dude, honey.

We're in Long Beach, North Dakota. Why am I there every night? I just want to make sure it runs well.

We're in New York, Arizona. Honey.

Okay, honey, dude, you're gonna love it. We're in Arizona, New Mexico.

We're in all the major cities. We're gonna go on a tour of all the all the restaurant locations.

Trust me, all right, Boston, Albuquerque, Old Mexico. It's just these are just places. These are what places. These are major metropolitans.

I know I haven't been home in two weeks, but I just gotta make sure the place is running well.

The prestaurant isn't gonna run itself.

The restaurant, honey, have.

You looked at the menu?

How do you think I put a roof over this house.

You know what the other day you walked in on me fucking rubber can and I let it slide. Okay, we're building out the world.

Yeah, that's what she stopped buying it. You gotta turn, you gotta turn.

Was that for the podcast? I'm so fucking hopped up on five hour Energy?

You know.

I told the story on Kimmel and Todd watched the clip and was like, I'm surprised you're haven't told the story on the podcast. And I'm surprised that I haven't told this story.

There's no way this is that your mom caught you and or.

You're gonna tell the story with the condom.

You're gonna tell the story. Yeah, yeah, I'll tell it real quick. I'm gonna go take a show.

So in high school, my high school girlfriend, she was like, you can't throw you can't keep that condom here, You can't throw it away at my house.

You have to throw it away on your way home or something.

So I'm like, okay, And you guys didn't want to flush it because you thought the plumbing would explode or whatever.

Yeah, we're like, the plumbing is going to come back up and it's gonna be a whole thing. So I'm like, I'll throw it out on the way home.

But you can't flush condoms, right, that's not a good idea, correct.

You can? You can? What do you mean?

I don't think that's a good idea. If you're sixteen, you can.

You're sixteen years old, you absolutely can't. If your own house, somebody, I give a pass to anybody living in their parents' home.

You're allowed to flush condoms. As soon as you're on your own, you can get well. Eventually, that's gonna come back to haunt.

You until all of a sudden loads back up, it gets stuck, and then you get caught. So she was right, insane, that's part.

Of the fun of the game.

Yeah, she was like, it's not a game. It's my life. It's not a game.

And then you goes mom, it's for the podcast. Mom, It's just like.

Okay, for the podcast.

Okay. So you have a used condom, we're speaking.

Condo tied in a knot. I put it in my backpack in the pencil pouch and then I go home.

I forget to throw it away.

On the way home. I get home, I start to look for the condom, I can't remember exactly where I put it.

I open up all the zippers. I'm like, where is it?

Where is it? Where is it? Nature calls I have to use the bathroom real quick. God, I quickly go to use the bathroom.

Nature fucking nature.

Fucking nature, dude. I hear my parents come home with my little dog, Maggie. All of a sudden, I hear the dog, Maggie with the little bells. She had little bells around her collar, just jingling and jangling. And then I'm back in my room looking for the condom. The bells are jingling and jangling. I hear my mom say what you got there?

What you got there, Maggie?

And she was like, oh my god, Adam, and she marches down the hallway. I'm like, oh no, and she's holding the condom. It's been bitten. Now it's oozing out.

What do you mean You're like, oh no, you already knew.

I knew something was up because I can't find it. You're putting, and all of a sudden, I hear her, Adam, and I hear her say, what you got marks down? The It wasn't goofy. The dog had bitten, so it's oozing, My jizz is oozing down, and the dog is jumping up to like lap it up. And my mom is goes, what is this? What is this? And I go, that's not mine. And she's like, oh, so it's your father's. You're blaming your father. And I'm like, no, mine wasn't

She's still holding it.

Sorry, you're not my little boy anymore.

You're not my little boy anymore, that's right, mamah.

Yeah.

And I told that story on Kimmel minus the dizzy.

Yeah, you know, yeah, slipping.

I cleaned it up a.

Little bit for for TV.

But but yes, you know, so we do have some stories in our deep backbran then we haven't told on the podcast.

It's crazy. So I got one question, where are we buying banana flavored condoms? Is this like bathroom vending machines? Just the grocery store grocery store.

I think it was the grocery store. Yeah, directs.

I think, what about didn't you go to plant? What they sell banana flavored condoms at the grocery store? I think? I think so changed my planned parenthood. And they had like that bowl they had like the bowl of like free condom you could just go fill your backpack.

I mean, that wasn't me. That wasn't me. Man, I bought a pack of them.

You go into a lot of plant parents have planned parenthood.

We did, we did. We had a plan.

Blake would go with all the girls who got pregnant as like their friend.

What what if I did? That seems help supportive? Dude, I know, I'm not what when did I say? When did I say that was.

A bad thing?

Well, the way you said it was like Blake would do this, like yeah, maybe I did. Maybe I was a really supportive good friend. Maybe you heard it that way. But the way that he would cover the way he would cover was he'd go back to his boys and be like I went and got all these condoms, Like that's how you made it like masculine and cool. Whatever, bro, see you were taking a dig ask, I know, Adam said, his computer's about to die. We're really we're really running

Bro?

Yes city, that's the cover, that's the cover. What you think I was in there to like be supportive? Bro? Look at these I got fucking Magna Max hows homie, dude? They would hook it up. They were cool like that. What flavors, dude?

Like?

I feel like cherry banana definitely was one and did it tastes like bananas? I actually, and this is honest, Blake, What at you and I? I never What are you and I? When you got there? What you got there?

Blake?

Remembering Coneheads? He would chew condoms as uh as bubble gum? I don't remember that. Did you watch the Coneheads movie?

I don't think I ever saw Coneheads. I've only seen the trailer Goodbye Dude.

That movie is really fucking good.

I think I can tell the trailer beat for beat, but I don't know if I ever saw the movie.

Chris Farley's awesome in it. He's got an underrated role. But the end of the older sister from Day's confused and she's awesome. Uh is she the daughter in Yeah, in Coneheads and she's actually like super hot in cone Head? Yeah, oh, striking. Even with the Conehead she's like beautiful y oh yeah, the brunette Yeah, from Dazing Infused and she's a diver. Is it not Alyssa Milano?

No, that is not a Lissa Milano.

No, I wish did. She's super beautiful.

Alyssa Milana was my chain.

And then the But the end of Coneheads, the movie, like the final act is crazy because they go to their home planet. It gets wild. There's clay mation. I'll say that. I won't.

So do you want to be more vague or let us into what the fuck you're talking about?

Well, I want you guys to watch it. If you've never seen Coneheads, it's a great film.

Well I've seen Coneheads.

Durs has never seen it. I don't think I've ever seen it really loose but worth a watch. It has really it's really funny. It's very good. Dankroyd dan Akroid slays. We come from Friends. Oh, Michelle Burke, I'm on the IMDb. Thank you, Tom old Burke. She's the daughter. She's the daughter of the teenage daughter. Wow, she's so beautiful in coneheads, look at her and her well Man in Just Life, I put like, I'm just remembering these outfits. Something about that cone gets me.

It's science. Some about that cone got you going.

There's something about that long dick on top of her heads it gets back going.

I wouldn't mind taking that to She also hot. Okay, okay, I got you, bro. It is genius. Yes, she wore a lot of chokers. I think I think I was a sucker for like chokers. I think when I was a youngster, like a teenage boy, I thought chokers were super hot. Well, I think that just hot girls wore them when we were young, and maybe, yeah, that was kind of a nineties I thing was in the nineties.

I think there's plenty of girls who could put a choker on and make you go, yeah, they're not that hot.

Fine, huh, she's got going on, but well she rocked it. Why don't? Why don't girls?

And maybe I'm throwing this out there, and if you're a female listener or a male listener in this.

Floats boat, give it a shot.

Instead of wearing a choker on your neck, maybe like around the thigh, like if you're rocking some shorts, that's a that's but I'm saying, you take a choker and you just put it on your leg. You just got like one, so.

It's like, well, then you got some really tiny ass legs.

Dude, it's science.

Well they stretched their plastic and they're not fixed fixed thing.

Oh okay, but I think that could be a look.

And slide into Blake's DMS and send him pictures of your legs with.

A choker on. The people have been sliding, by the way, you said, slide into my d MS about like Tourette's the other day and I have all these weird turetts. Oh so Tourette's weird?

Why is it?

It's weird?

Thank you? Yeah?

Hang on, you also like titties? I have explanation, you know what?

And you're telling me you like titties on trampolines? What are what kind of human?

No, I'm not saying Tourett's are is weird? I'm like, I have all these explanations for some weird Turett subject that I don't know about. I'm not saying. And you famously do not absorb knowledge, so you can't even repeat what they are. No, I don't. I skim it. I skim it. You're not actually trying to gain knowledge. Kidding me? Do not never, do not, do not come never, would never.

Have do not come.

Oh, are you guys watching? It's probably over by now now that we're this bar ahead. Do you guys watch White Loads haven't watched this season?

Can I just say I'm so fucking mad that they had I like Mike White a lot. I think he's a great creator. I I love his stuff. I liked Enlightened, I like White Lotus. I really like White Lotus. And you know, I've liked a lot of his stuff. So the decision to change the theme song between season two and season three was the fucking dumbest decision because everyone loved the theme song.

I know where you're coming from, but let's go back, Let's go in the way back machine. Real quick, okay Cosby Show, whoa no, no, no, no, too far, too far, too far, too far, No Cosby Show. No, we can't, we can't go way back shoulders right.

Essential theme song, quintessential theme song that evolved over time, seasons to seasons.

That's the thing about Bill Cosby.

And the later ones were off the chain, dude, where everybody was in like the bright colors, dancing around and then they did the hands like this and it was like boo and he was like, wake up, bitch, just.

You can't, you can't, you can't. I loved the later seasons Cosby theme was a fucking jam that I cannot believe hasn't been sampled. I think there's a reason. I don't think you touch anything.

Well, okay, so so sorry. I I was doing a bit where I was in a wayback machine. Uh, and I kind of missed that you were you were talking about the Cosby Show because I did this whole bit was being transported to a way back machine.

We saw it. No, you don't want to go that far back?

Wait did they do that at the gate? Like starting the first.

The original Cosby was like rapp.

But then it like evolved, You're way older than us, So you remember these.

You also worship Bill Cosby, You worship him everything he does, You love and appreciate.

It and copy.

I'm gonna post steal. I don't copy it. I kiss now. I gotta post that later season's Cosby theme just to see what happening. Don't. No, there's gonna post Tom likes Bill Cosby.

There's is gonna start a sleepy time restaurant.

Not good, not good, not good. If you're full lay down over here taking that not good?

Why is there wing sauce on my fly?

Dude, it's it's not my it's I'm not the one starting it. You're not starting it is the one.

I'm pissed you guys don't watch White Lotus because there's some some funny stuff that I do. I just want to be able to blaze.

I'm watching it. Yeah, the brothers are jerking each other off. The brothers are jerking each other off.

Yeah, so the brothers are.

Yeah, it's so gross, it's so weird, so strange.

Thanks for that spoiler alert. You gotta get on it, brother. Yeah. For some reason, I'm like not as interested.

But this season has been been slow. It's a slow burn to get there. I feel like other seasons it was better.

Quick, a little more captivating. Yeah, here's the shaker for me, the marketing.

You can't escape this show. And then the other day I saw a headline that was like it's gotten its all time highest ratings, and I was like, oh shit, so everyone is watching this. Four million people are watching this.

Which in the grand scheme is not a huge number.

No.

I thought it would be like ten million, but like what you know, we used to get at our peak work Collics.

Was three million.

I don't think we ever got to three. Yeah, we did.

Season what two? Season kiss or see the beginning of season three?

Everyone slide into Adams dms.

With those Season two Isaac's diad.

What did American Idol get? American Idol would get like ten million over over that, yeah yeah, yeah, oh yeah yeah yeah back in the day.

That's a big network.

Yeah yeah, that.

Was like still not many. Yeah, twenty five million, one t five million, that's insane. A good show, but that was also real appointment television right there. If you missed the Idol, you're and it.

Was on twice a week, it was on like Wednesday and Thursday. That fucking show genius, genius. It was you had to watch it twice a week, fucking awesome. So but to go back, yeah, let's get back to let's get back to.

The Lotus, to get back to your no to your life hero Bill Cosby. They they changed after season one to a new theme song or did they do multiple seasons.

Because the kids were getting older so they had to like redo the theme songs and they're like, well, let's just update the music so like the music would stay similar. Oh my god, Todd, I know you're a musician. He's like this, it's a variation on the melody, That's what I'm saying. But like it evolved into something that would be like almost not recognizably the same thing, and it got doper.

So that makes more sense than what the White Lotus is doing because it's not the.

Is it totally different? Isn't it still there's it's by the same person. Well, sorry, Blake saying there's a little there is some there is a little little No I watch it, Blake, I do too.

But you don't retain information, damn it, he got you. You. You don't retain any knowledge.

He retains music if you listen to it. It goes like it does, it has it has vocal. I don't know if seven variations of the Cosmic White Lotus season don't the jeez right?

Yeah you go? Are you ready?

Do you want to hear it?

So let's play? Okay, okay, this is this, this is the new one.

See it's kind of going like this sounds like a song I've heard before. She got a booty? Are we allowed to play? That's just like a that just sounds like someone's gonna sample that.

Okay, well, okay, so not as good, right, so season one play play the last season or one or two season, and you're gonna hear the banger that everyone was like.

Oh see, we're saying season one or season two, whichever is the same. Oh, it is exact same. We retained that.

It's the same as we retained information and knowledge, and.

Like you do that, I'm a search Cosby dump the songs. It's kind of the same.

That's very same.

This is the yeah, very similar, very similar. Season two might be a different song too.

Okay, well let's try it to.

Can you guys hear my ship playing? Or no, no, you were not sharing your audio? I got all the Cosbys here don't. This is season two very different, is it?

Yeah, you're right, But then it goes into.

Oh, you're right, it is. I thought it was the same one and two. I am off baser.

No. Season one was the the Banger, but.

They had season two. They still had the.

I think the season three listen long enough and season five of Cosby show the Banger Stop it's so good. Well, yeah, I might make it my ring. I will say in watching without spoiler alerting for you durs about the new season of White Lotus, the brothers jerk each other. Oh, you guys, go ahead and then give me a high sign. No, I wasn't doing it, but I was looking at Walton Goggins with his shirt off, and I had a thought at him, and you may want to text your boy Walton.

We're talking about Walton Goggins without his shirt on.

Oh he's jacked. I think I know his next big move. I think he should play fucking Iggy pop And.

Is is he No?

I don't know, dude. He would be the sickest like I I think that would be a super sick well wary. Yeah, like do some shit about like Iggy and the Stooges.

Well, the weird thing is Walton was like, He's like, yeah, man, wow. Yeah. So he's like, do you watch the show, Adam, do you watch the show? And I'm like I do. And he's like, I don't want to spoil it for you, but uh, I will say that it was a dark time. Man, it was a dark time. I'm like, yeah, okay for him, film filming for everybody. And he was like, we all became our characters, fucky donky yeah, man wow.

And I'm like, what a good impression as well. Isn't he known for becoming his characters? Isn't he generally a method actor?

I got kind of I mean, he's not baby Billy on when he's not shooting, you know what I mean? Let down? He said he was they all became their characters. And now I'm finding out that the brothers.

Are jerking each other off.

I'm like, what is it? What was he trying to tell me? Man?

Wow, dude, so that's what he was doing.

Yeah, yeah, huh, he was trying to tell you privately they're checking each other off.

Yeah. Maybe, I don't know.

I don't know. Uh he did. He did say that. Except besides Patrick Schwarzenegger's he was one of the brothers getting jerked off, so maybe he was like trying to protect him. He's like, we all were exactly ourselves, or.

We all were our characters.

That's except for the brothers who were jerking each other off.

That is a really funny show to say that about.

Yeah, And I'm like, and now I was like, okay and not this was like, you know, months ago when we were shooting Righteous Jimpsons, And now after seeing the show, I'm like, what the fuck was he talking about?

Dude?

And I think Walton's character is like gonna I mean, I haven't seen the newest episode. He's gonna like go do a hit in Bangkok. He might like try to kill a man. I'm like, what was going on.

In your your mind?

Dude? What was going on in your mind?

Yeah? I don't know.

Yeah.

So I like the idea that, you know how Austin Butler like couldn't shake the accent of Elvis after he filmed it. Yeah, yeah, that like, these guys are just like I jacked off another guy. I just can't shake it, you know, I.

Just I just it's so deep. Just just yesterday I jacked a guy off. I found myself at a at a Macho's meat market, just looking for hard cock. Bro I don't know what to do. But uh, I'm stuck in character, brother, really stuck in character. I'm trying to come a long way that didn't really work. I liked it, Okay, Well, I can't wait to watch it.

Well, don't wait.

It's it's a slow one. It's a slow one. There's a couple of shows that I need to just fucking jump into.

I watched Reacher season three. Oh hell yeah, reach around not good, no, really bad off of that, and I like the first two seasons.

That's what I did. Hear it fell off hard.

As I like the first two seasons. This season, I mean like they they just they made some strange choices, and it's I get a lot.

Of drink about the guy who's like bigger than Reacher. There's another big dude.

And it's like a big way bigger than Reacher because he's like nine No, he's like a bodybuilder who's like enormously tall.

And has like chunk arms. But yeah, like I goes. So that's the storylines that there's a bigger guy that's cool. That's like w w E you think you're big on Bigger Okay.

Yeah, and I love Reachers, so I'm hoping season four they they they turn it around because I was. I was disappointed.

A reach around. We call that a reach around.

I like to reach around.

Yeah, have they punched fists yet? Where like the fists hit each other and they just like real recognize real each other for a second.

That'd be fucking cool as hell.

Not yet, No, they hadn't.

Don't see if they reach around.

Any take backs, any apologies, any epic slams boys, Let's see here there's.

I want to slam you guys for zero appreciation of the Cosby theme song.

Okay, I kind of don't remember it, still slash, I kind of don't remember.

I'll send you guys a lank.

Okay, please please please, next.

Time a restaurant play it. I'm not super familiar with mister Cosby other than Ghost Dad, I don't. I don't know much of his work outside of that. This checks out.

You didn't watch Cosby show.

You only watched Ghost at I did watch Ghost Dad.

That's a really good But you didn't watch Cosby show.

Not really. No, I never like Rudy. There was nothing for you Rudy Huxtable, theo Huxtable, one of the greatest characters in TV history.

Adam Taylor's first, uh, first time gracing our screens.

I dude, like, I know, I'm sure it's I'm young Raven Simone just crushing. I'm aware that it was, you know, appointment television, but I didn't. I did not watch a lot of Cosby show.

I did not, And that's why you are the way you are.

Maybe, yeah, maybe maybe that's why you know I am me.

Did you guys ever see those Creed movies where like Felicia Rashad is in the Creed movies and plays like the mom.

I don't know who that is. I did want the mom.

From Cosby Doctor, and she's in the Creed movies and she elevates the like her on camera. You just sit up a little straighter. You're like, oh, fuck, yeah, she's on.

Really you don't want to get on be on her bad side?

No you don't.

I have to check that out, you say, uh, don't you straightened me out? Okay?

And uh? Any take backs, any apologies and the epics slams. I can I start this one off because I would like to. I started this one.

I already started it out, but go ahead, Oh did you? Yeah? I did an epic slamp on you guys for not.

Being down with Oh that's right, that's right, and I'm glad that's just a regular part of the podcast life. I didn't it didn't hit at home, Okay. I would like uh and it's not a total take back, because I do stand by what I said. By guys just inherently liking women jumping on trampolines a soft take back, that is a cool thing. I would like that we can acknowledge that again and not feel ashamed by our carnal desire. Your boobs are huge, and I stand by that.

I don't know if you did it on.

When a little hard, but I hope that doesn't turn off any anyone, because you know, I'm I'm.

For turned off, they're turned on. I think you turned on more people than turned off.

Good good, I hope.

And I would like to take back the decision to uh go bankrupt, just for for Hooters. I'm not worrying. I just want Hooters back. Okay, I'm really sad that Hooters isn't in California.

You know what, I don't mind that they're gone. If Twin Peaks would just open up a damn restaurant in the La County.

That would be beautiful and in a city that anyone has ever heard.

Of, in a city that's actually what it is. I think there might be one in sam Bernardino, and I'm willing to go with you guys out that way to just, you know, market research. I can't think of a better reason.

Let's seven g I don't know why I know about this place. I've seen I've seen them.

I've never seen it or heard it.

Might it must have been in Kansas City or something, because I have family there.

Live pod from Twin Peaks, the Twin Peaks, Every Twin Peaks. I'm down to go on a nationwide tour.

Yeah, that's our next tour.

That's a great call, every Twin Peaks. That would be incredible. Hey, we're coming to your town conquered. Nope, not that conquered. We're coming to someone else's town.

Yeah.

The most confable tour in the world.

We'll see you in Bozeman, Montana. Nope, Louisiana.

Wouldn't that be easy?

Sorry, see you in New Orleans, Louisiana. Nope, no you tall.

All this being said, Twin Peaks, send Blake some of your sauces and uh, let's get out there. Absolutely absolutely and Hooters never say die. We stand there with big beef meat.

Man's of Dallas, Macho meat r I P.

Sorry to hear about all that. I'm also down to try their sauce.

And that was another episode.

Oh boy,