Ep 237: Too Many Slits

Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what is most obviously very crucially important today on This is Important.

If you're busy blowing yourself, it's a lot of like effort to like detach yourself from what's happening.

And not everything sexually pleasurable is comfortable.

You know, I think it would be harder to think when you're slobbing on your knob like corn on the cop let's go here we go. I eat because I'm unhappy.

Gentlemen, Are you just hitting keys over there? Or do you eat because you're unhappy?

Actually, I wouldn't say no. I wouldn't say that's the reason I.

Do you think he doesn't eat because he's unhappy at him?

Yeah? I yes, that is right. Remember when we were in New Orleans and Blake kept going we got to eat again, and it was like the one meal that we had together.

I will say that was my favorite meal.

So it just meant like every day, every day he was like, oh, we got to eat again for the one meal that we had. I eat because I'm on that was my favorite meal. So that means some days you don't eat watch meal, fourth meal. We ate a meal together every day that we were together.

The best one was when we went to get the Po Boys. That was my favorite. When trumpone shorty Yeah, that one was rat okay, that was delicious.

Yeah, that one was sick.

Yeah. What about the fried chicken? Did you end up? Were you even eating when we went to God Fried Chicken or were you just having a couple of fries.

Yes, I'm the one who spotted the place. And the place is called Willie's.

Hang on his hehe By the way, Willie's is a Willi's isn't like a oh Willie's. Willie's is a fast food okay. And and I would say bad most of the time. No, no, no, no, you must have got a good batch he goes.

I spotted it. It was next to the and it's also on every.

Spot we had. Willies is the place. And also there's a huge little waynehead in there, like just on the wall.

It's very cool.

They played music hell loud, they had zach rees.

It's all you.

It's the best.

I will say the handful of times I've eaten net Willies, it's not good. And and when I eat there, you see like three am you're stumbling back to your hotel.

You're a canesman.

I'm a canesman, and it's not that good. I think you if I remember correctly, went early in the day and so they probably had a good batch come out, fresh batch come out exactly.

He was like, let me get your first.

Batch and let me tell you it was see us.

So I enjoyed it.

Thank you, joy.

This is what I'm talking about when I what I'm saying, feel free, the little thing that I'm that I'm taking, and you guys asked me, what are you talking about?

Again?

Is a little blue bottle? This is it? This is the fife.

I don't even remember asking you, well we were so feel free to skip explaining it. What are we talking about?

Do whatever you want. Man, it's the kreatum ship that he takes and he's addicted.

Is this another sponsor?

No, this is not a sponsor. This is I wish it was a sponsor.

What are we doing?

Uh? No, this is a feel free This is the I mean, it's like a fucking drug, dude. And when I posted that, I wanted that I'm taking it because there's no caffeine. So this is my get around for not drinking a lot of caffeine.

What is it?

It's like, k I'm still going to send it.

It's like kratum people. We we kind of discussed it last time. Some people think it's like highly addictive.

Some people that crawled crawled into my d MS and uh hmm, and they're like, oh, dude, I fell off the wagon and it was all Creton's fault and then and then y it sort of led me to believe that maybe these are the type of people that easily would fall off the wagon because I'm loving it, dude.

But yeah, to be even so, just for my clarification, what is it? I don't remember talking about it.

So they say, essentially, it's like a mix between like an adderall and ecstasy. And when they and when they say that those people have not taken either of those drugs because it's not, but it does it gives you like a little sense of euphoria and a little get up and go like you're ready.

So is this like a gas station? Is this like a gas station pick up?

Yes? It's readily available at gas station.

Yes, But like a whole food, you can't used to be able to send it to your house and now you're not allowed to. It's getting it's getting a little bit more illegal. Illegal.

Thanks did not that they are.

Legally.

That's why you like it. You feel like you're on the edge again.

I'm a little bit of a bad boy.

I like that. I love your bad boy.

Sorry, I didn't mean to hijack and talk feel free.

But and so you drink this, You drink this for a pick me up. This is your replacement for like an energy.

Drink, yeah, an energy drink or a coffee. And you take on, you know, a little scissorp of this and it's fucking good, dude.

And why does this thing that's illegal to mail past like the sniff test for what you're not allowed to because it's too new, it's sooner to be.

On the list, too new. They they told me, they did not tell me anything about this. And I actually brought it up to my doctor and he was like, I've never heard of it. I don't know, I've never really I've never heard of that. And I'm like, green lights, green lights already gone.

He looks up from the check from his clipboard. He's like, I never heard of it.

The door just closes.

You just hear the divin.

Your hat is spinning in the air. I love that. I love that.

Ship did see some divine.

He ran out saying, and what's so funny is this? This thing is two servings so you can't even take you.

Man, there's no way you don't finish that shop.

Well, I'm glad to hear you're not addicted. And it's not addict it's not addicted.

That's amazing.

I mean, it probably is probably drink. I think I just don't have that. I mean I do have an addictive personality, but not that addictive, not that, not.

That strain of personality I do. I do love the idea of Adam driving with Chloe and then then being like.

Honey, let me just running the seven one real quick, just to see if they have it. I'm not gonna buy it, just want what's funny is you you have to look up like store locators, and it's they're always in the shittiest gas stations you've ever like not the name, not the name brand ship, like like the real down and dirty dog.

Adam is in bed late at night, just on there going it's two point two inches away. I could go get it right now.

They want one out at that time it would keep me up. Dude, you have an adam.

We've established you have a hate hate relationship with sleep.

You don't want to sleep in today. You want to go Daddy's go juice.

Yeah, well, I'm a fi.

I'm a nobody holds you, Okay.

I do responsible things like create them, okay, and not not those irresponsible things like go juices.

Yeah?

Is that irresponsible now a little bit?

Are you turning your back on what I did have?

I will say I've had my first go juice in uh something like maybe a year, maybe my first go juice in a year. I had it yesterday because I did what I did the Jennifer Hudson shows. You don't have to have all kinds.

Of Entergyeah, you gotta be tappening.

And I drove up from Orange. So I'm sluggish, ruggish bone you know I'm hanging.

I forgot about that member of Bone Thugs.

Yeah, sluggish, yeah, the one crazy, I'm sluggish, sluggish, ruggish.

Hello, I'm sluggish. So is that the one where they make you walk down? The dude didn't go in viral where you have to like dance down chanting, Oh dude, and I was dancing like such an asshole.

I was dancing so hard. Dude, Wait till you see me dancing. Did I drop into a no? This is how it starts, dude. I know I can't help myself. Did you fucking tearr your stomach lining or something?

Is what happened?

I didn't. I didn't. I am in more pain today than I was the previous few days, So I think that might have something to do with it. I think, I think.

And by the way, this is not a thing that you are like stretching.

No, no, because I've never plan just go back and I just wasn't. I was like I did one where I'm just sort of shimming down and then I got and they're like, go back. They're like that sucked.

Wait they take pull the curtain.

No, and they were like and so I'm like, okay, So I kind of jogged back a little bit and then I'm like doing a little crazier dance move and then the hype of the crowd kind of got to me and they're like you knows my name and stuff, and then I'm like, I gotta get the people what they want.

What were they what song did they say?

They're like, it was like an Adam chance.

It was.

They were chanting my name in a fun way.

But they they're usually chanting it.

It was like, go at him, go at him, go, go at him, go at him.

Go.

So it was the Ninja Turtles Too song.

Oh yeah, maybe.

I think I think maybe I might have made that up, but but it was a version of that. Okay, So so uh you will see that. I I don't know when it comes out, but yeah, I saw I dropped in. Did the split squat? Uh, split squat, split squat?

Now and you've been drinking feel Free every since?

What is it? Just the jazz splits? I did a jazz classic jazz split. Yeah, my man is doing some jazz squat jazz like it? Well cool, Well that sounds fun. That's sounds fun. And Jennifer Hudson very fun, very fun audience. My parents were in the crowd.

Oh hell yeah.

So obviously my mom got some stage screen time and then they my mom was like, can I meet Jennifer and goes on stage. After we're done with our little segment, my mom, you know, we take a photo of Jennifer and then me and my dad are being taken off the stage. My mom just and the Gary Cannon, who's the the warm up guy, is a comic and I know I know him.

I've done him for years.

Oh yeah, and he's going like give it up for Adam and his mom, Penny. My mom does not get off the stage. She's just standing there basking in the glory of the crowd.

It feels good. I made you do?

What I mean?

I would watch a daytime Penny divine daytime show would be incredible. I would do it rock, that would do in rock.

That's kind of fun. You guys, should Adam keep that one in the pocket. Blake, Yeah, you're right, You're right, Blake, what would your do you think you would succumb to the the chance of go Blake, Go Blake, go. I'm gonna come And what are you doing?

I I have seen these videos that we're talking for people who haven't seen them before, The Jennifer Hudson Show. Before you come out, you like walk You basically do like a soul train line where you pull out all your dance moves and just watching stars have to do this gives me great anxiety because I'm like you are, You're star in my eyes and then all of America's eyes because I don't think I have the dance moves

Well? Play tummy roll?

Thank you?

You still a few of my moves?

You do?

You do the you do the tornado, you do the hands up, the spin.

It's not the butterfly, that's you. He can't do that, you Adam. Let's let's keep it real. If you saw Blake do that on a Jennifer Hudson hood viral Jay hud viral tunnel walk on his first take.

What, yeah, you're you're right, you'd be like, hey, can I can I talk to you?

You'd save it for the pod.

But if I but if I saw it, I know that if the dance moves are a little whack, they make you do it again. And this this is a second or third go around. And my boy Blake dug in the crate found found a vintage out of Divine Tornado Twist just.

The way like I saw it.

Very recent. Yeah, but dude, I've been dusting this one off. This one's been back since middle school days. Dude. Yeah, I feel like I would allow Blake to take that move, you would bless me.

Yeah, yeah, that's so cool. I like having a friend who allows us that.

Actually, like knowing that you have to retake it if you don't come with enough pizzazz is kinda kind of crazy.

I don't like, I don't don't.

I gotta put on like a fake dance. I gotta take on your energy. I'll bring my energy. Don't worry about my.

I see you, I see you walking head down. And then they're like, okay, you gotta play it along a little bit.

They're like, okay, you're not allowed on Jennifer, No.

No, no, what I do little Obama fist bombs?

You've done the daytime talk shows. It's a different energy than a nighttime talk show. Daytime daytime talk shows, you gotta I mean, you're these women are at home, they're vacuuming, they're taking care of a couple of kids. They're screaming. You know, they need they need a little pick me up, and they want a little jolt. They want a little jolt of the home.

They do, and I get it because I know it's it's ladies of clap like this a lot.

Okay, okay, small small right in front of the chest.

They're really excited to see these.

People small right in front of their chest three inches apart, clapping.

But I just am like, and so if I'm not mister dance Sky, I'm a bad person now.

Yeah, no, I don't know if you're a bad person. I just think they want the energy to come out of the tunnel walk and I gave it. I mean, I like, I said, the feel free hadn't kicked in. I literally was slurping it down. When they're like, okay, they need you. Where's the where's the feel free?

We're not addicted.

It's I'm not addicted. Give me the feel free, give it to me. I can't go out. I can't go out and give me the feel free.

I don't feel free here, like freaking Jesse from uh Saved by the Bell.

And I slurped down the feel free and and by the way, I had a go juice, so I was, I was, I was double, I was devile stacking and I didn't it wasn't firing yet. I chugged the god juice. And then they're calling me and I'm like, I don't I don't feel I don't feel it. I don't another one, it's not working. Then I hit the feel free and then I made my way out and tell you what, that first go around, I didn't feel it by that second one. Maybe baby Bay, baby baby Bay.

Yeah, that's when the that's when you start doing the splits.

Yes, that is in my growing by. It doesn't. It hurts her take deep breaths today. But I don't need to take a deep.

Breath, just take a little baby one.

So shattered Pelvis, Oh cool, I look.

Forward to that. I'm looking forward to that. Is that to promote one?

And you're just you're doing this because you're pushing a final season, rightister, the.

Righteous gimp Stones final season four? Yes, season four. I'm very gay, very gay. I know what. My wife watched the trailer and she's like, wow, you're so gay, You're so gay, and I'm like, yeah, my character is fully out now and she's like, well, did you have to go that gay? And I'm like, well, I don't know that. My cousin when he came out, he went from zero today hero like overnight.

Wo dude. It feels good. It feels good to be out of the closet.

It's you shed you shed the string.

Shed your headero shell. Yes, it's gone.

That's cool.

We we did this in Game Over Man with Blake's character.

Yes.

Yes, by the end of the film, there's a freedom freedom to it.

Yeah, like a feel freeness.

There might have been a few think pieces about it, but yes, there is a freedom.

I know. They're like, why does he have to be gay? I'm like, he doesn't have to be. He doesn't have to be anything. Nobody has to be straight?

What no one has to be? Who gives a Yeah, I'm so sick of think pieces, like just some fucking guy that works at some dumb ass blog magazine I guess, or it used to be a magazine. Now it's only online because magazines don't exist, and it's just him having to think about ship, having to have a think piece.

He's got to get the clicks, he's got to get the clicks, he's got to drum up the bass.

So many people are thinking it's crazy too much.

By the way, Adam, I do like the idea that you went so gay on the show, so that like whenever clothes like you're so gay, you'd be like, don't you Uh.

Straighten me out.

Don't you make me not get straight? Thank you?

Thank you? Straight Yeah, Blake you I've been I've been dropping some bombs here earlier. Bone straight out, I get no point three three three.

I mean that straightened me out. I'm sorry.

I was just laughing at the thought of you telling your wife just straightened you out, that's why you took the role. Well, baby, it's.

Not why it took it's why he's an amplitude.

I Danny's so damn funny. He goes my character was a closeted gay man from the very first episode, and I asked him the first episode was I don't know. I don't know if you are or not.

And then throughout the seasons, I've become progressively more out there, you know, gay, and you you pull that that curtain back and Danny swears to God, He's like, you.

Know, I didn't know that you were gonna be gay. It was how you played it, uh, and your relationship with Tony Cavallero, and it brought it brought it out. In the writer's room, we just wrote to to what you guys were doing, and I'm like, what, dude, Yeah.

You just saw you guys working out like on off days, and he's like, yeah, I think I know where to take this character.

Dude. You got to have a workout, buddy. You got to have a workout, buddy, I don't know.

Right well, And it was cool. Adam would take his hand and lead him to the next rack or whatever.

Yeah, you don't have to hold an in the gym.

Come over here. We're gonna do some preacher curls.

Spot me, preacher girls boys, spot me again. You're just you're just getting a smoothie.

Spot me though.

Yeah, why are there two straws in the smoothie? It's just easier, dude. X.

Yeah, so last season, last season of the Righteous Gemstone. So yeah, doing a bunch of press doing yeah, doing Jimmy Kimmel here soon.

Oh cool?

You know always hell Yeah, it's nice not to have to go to New York to get us. Get to do it close close to home, you know, La Baby, we love it, lay Baby, love it.

Blake you like l A I do.

I'm a fan.

I think I think La is a wonderful place to live. We've got some great weather, great people, lots of creatives in one place. Nothing shoots here, but that's okay. Well, you know it does. Did you guys tune in Adam? Have you watched my Jeopardy episode?

Yea, come on, bro, come on, sorry dude. Com My family's here, what they We all would have loved to watch it together. We're gonna watch it together tonight. I promise you this. I have to write a note. Come on, it exists, it's out there. I have to write a note for myself. And I could see it on Hulu.

You could see it on.

A little for the whole family.

I watched a thank you Wanders and you as a Scanda. Oh man, you broke my goddamn heart.

Oh my goodness, Adams.

There's only two guys.

I know, Eric the Red, I know, I know and you and you say those two names, and I don't know. I really kind of like I know you Eric the Red. He's a Viking, right.

Yeah, he's like the one Viking. There's two Vikings in the realm of history that you need to.

Know, and those are the Who's who's the other one?

Leif?

Eric Jeff Jeff Jeff Jeff the Brown, Jeff the Brown and Eric hold the hambro hold on, bro. I don't think but Leif Ericson. I thought he was a pop star from like the seventies. I did too.

No, that's Leif Garrett.

So these these men are named Leif.

Yeah, by the way, Leif strong name I had did on my list of names, and my dad wrote down Leif was on there?

Really?

Yeah? Okay? There did your dad name all three of your children? Is that what happened? Your dad made a list and you plucked the names from that list or my children? Yeah?

Yeah, you said no, no, no, the list for my name?

Oh for for your name. You could have been Leif. You would make a really good lead.

The list is wild, dude, Ragnar is on there.

Ragnar is too hard.

Do you think I would even be close to comedy if my name was Ragne?

Well, dude, you couldn't be with a name like that, You couldn't be close to comedy. Yeah, it's not funny.

That is like to joke about the idea that I wouldn't joke about.

There's a Ragnar. There's a baby Ragnar in my child's aqua tats swimming class. Okay, baby, and this man who swims with him his father. His father is six six to sixty to eighty maybe like big Man, big Man with the giant like ginally is leaning into his vikiness.

They all do, are you in character?

Grew an enormous beard, Like it's just he's standing out of the water, but it's it hit it, It swept the top of the water, so it's just always dripping. His beard is always dripping.

What's his name?

I didn't catch it because you only say your baby's names.

What is he just a big ass water polo?

I don't know. I know he's not. There's no water polo happening here. This guy's built like a no no, but I mean he maybe that guy doesn't float, okay.

And you're doing you're doing the thing where like babies get dropped in water, like in their clothes and you like snap.

And no, I wish your fucking disaster.

You're like in the water with them and you like teach them to roll over, and you like are holding them and you like swoop them under the water and they come.

Up and yeah, like pull them under for like three seconds, but.

They're not they're not in the clothes. They're not in their clothes.

That's good there, but nay, I thought that.

Like graduation ceremony was like you drop them in the water in their clothes.

That's a certain school. This is just like teaching them to be comfortable with water at an early age, and they're basically teaching them how to swim as early as you possibly can.

Important.

This is important.

Yeah, I love it, dude. My Homide Torpia did that and his kid is like the best swimmer I know right now.

Oh yeah that sh It's important.

Them going from like underwet like you're doing.

Yeah, we're, we're, we're. I think we started at nine or ten months. And uh, boy just turned one.

Not my damn kids, No fucking soccer goddamn.

Soccer boy turned one. Yes, like happy there was out of town or else he would have been there.

This is true, Happy big boy Kyle.

I know he was in town. I got no response, did not get a response. That didn't didn't hit me back, hit me back, yeah, freak send.

Him an invite, wouldn't.

Could.

It was a very fun party, but I was I was road tripping.

Oh yeah you were. Oh did you stop by Anderson's pea soup by any chance?

Can we get it? Drove? Okay? And then you realize that peace soup sounds like a shitty thing to eat on a road trip.

What, dude, that's it. I'm sending you.

I'm sending you some freaking peace suit. You're gonna lose your mind.

It's really good, dude, big ass cubes of ham and on a road trip though.

Yeah, man, you gotta get that soup Indian.

Yeah, I I you know, I don't dislike soup. I like soup. I like I don't believe on a road trip, it doesn't seem like a thing you would quickly grab a cup of soup and hit the road, right.

I do like the idea of trying to drink soup as you drive with your knee.

Oh I thought, that's what you're doing. You're grabbing it.

No, no, no, no, this is not a quick stop. This is all you can eat.

Pea soup.

You're gonna want to You're gonna want to put some time, man, you don't want to put some time? Yeah, pea keep going back like, oh, you're gonna want a couple bulls, my guy.

Yeah, I wish I stopped there. I did have one on the way up. I split it into like two days, like all night and then all the next day, and I had one like late night, past ten thirty pm stop where I had to charge up and get food. And I went to a McDonald's for the first time, and I don't know how many years.

Wow, it's been a while for me either. I can't remember the last time I ate McDonald's.

And listen, this isn't because I'm above no, no, no no, I'm just not going to McDonald's.

Chloe eats McDonald's once a week or at least.

I got a spicy chicken sandwich, delicious, fucking good. Hell yeah, the fries, what do you think? Were the fries good?

They're great, They're fantastic.

These fries were garbage.

Really, because I thought McDonald's thing was their fries, like people love their fries. They were.

I did too. I was like, give me that sweet sweet smell and uh didn't hit.

But then we found out that they were like putting beef fat in their fries, and I think they have since changed it and the fries have have dipped a little bit because they're not stirring around them.

They're sorry, and they weren't that salty. They used to be so salty.

I thought, be fat is what I thought. Well, who doesn't like befat vegetarian. Vegetarian, I forget dude, I forget about that, right, Yeah you do, I really do. I forget about them all the time.

Don't go Hey, vegetarians, don't go to McDonald's, go to me.

I didn't like Sebastian Man of Skalclers on the podcast. Thanks you, thanks for joining me to Sebastia. Hey, Sebash, I'm a huge fan.

I'm a huge fan. Dude.

Wow, Blake's a huge fan.

Hey. Look, I'm just saying, if you're vegan, don't go to me.

No, we heard that joke.

We heard that way. You could just repeat the say.

Hey, you'd be surprised.

Uh.

Actually, I'm not facing it on anything now. I'm just trying to say things with an accent that doesn't sound like him.

Uh what else?

Uh, diary, they got a double cheeseburger, they got a triple cheeseburger.

If you want a quadruple cheeseburger, don't go to.

You're winning me over, dude, go to McDonald's.

That's be's the hook, that's the.

Whole that's right. I understand why he's one of the biggest comics in the world. After after that, dude, I get it.

Boyd you want PEPSI products, don't go to mcdumb.

Don't really good. There's really good, guys.

We're wow. Blake's Blake's child almost ruined my life by stealing the keys to my boat and throwing them overboard. Well we should never leave.

You don't have a little floating on your keychen He.

Does on one, but he doesn't on the other.

I don't. I do have one and the other broke off.

Those are like the coolest thing.

Yeah, no, it broke off. It broke off.

Okay, you don't go if you don't have a floaty on your keychain, don't go in the water.

You need to replace that. You can't have a key just sitting there with no no floating on it. You're asking for trouble.

Yeah, look at Blake defending his child. I love it.

I have to. I know, I know, but normally I don't have three year olds on my boat unattended, unattended like you allowed your child to do.

Oh, come on, we were me and Isaac were there. We were just yeah.

Just not watching the children. I'm the kidding.

I'm kidding. I don't know how it happened. She just approached me with two keys in her hand, and I'm like, you gotta put those backs.

That's wild. That's wild that she was able to get them because it's kind of high up and to get them off it was I'm pretty impressed.

She knows what she's doing, dude.

So I'm like, put them back, and then she put one back, and then I heard her go like and then of course it fell in the most like random little slit in the boat. We thought we had to like lift the seats, but there's a whole art deal. We got they got it. They got it, dude.

Out of all the random slits on the boat, this was the most random.

Dude.

You never know. Boats have so many slits. It's crazy. Have you noticed how many slits are on your boat?

Too many slits. I never counted the amount of slits on my boat. Okay, well you should, but I do know that there are many slits.

Yeah, what are you even doing?

Crazy? How many slits are on the boat.

I'm not I'm not count the amount of slits on your boat. Don't go to McDonald.

I don't give honestly, Honestly, dudude, I'm gonna I might have to fax him a joke.

You gotta have to send him a joke.

Hey try this.

You still have his number?

Can we FaceTime him? Yeah?

I think I do.

Yeah, fatim I like to I like to fat people. Just facts, fact beat honey.

Dude, my wife saved the birthday cake. And I'm like, dude, the birthday cake. Why is everybody turning into the bash?

And I'm like, who saves the birthday cake?

Birthday cake?

This is McDonald's.

See your birthday cake. It's easy to slip into. I get it. Yeah, I understand. I understand why how easily you slip slipped into it.

Easy to slip into, tough to master, but.

Easy to master.

She saved it, dude, Yeah, what's up with that?

Just because in the end of the night you're saying yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, You're you're.

Like, I want a sweet little something, and then there's just a fucking delicious, great a birthday cake right there, and you're like, you know, this is sort of I'm sort of paying homage to my son. I'm loving my son by eating his birthday cake.

What are you doing?

I love you, Grandma? Your shirt off in the kitchen at two am.

I do so much dude, I gained eleven pounds while in New Orleans over the one week I was six days I was there. God stop eating. I mean like, the weight's just gonna fall off because it's just you know, beer with I've I've lost like three pounds. I've lost like two pounds. It's falling off, all right, that's a falling, that's a fallen I still have nine pounds.

Something I might have fallen out when you did the splits the other day.

What eight pounds I eat? Because I'm unhoppy when you.

Gain eleven pounds? Are these different pants?

These are? I was I was pretty skinny going into it, and uh, the pants it was great, a little extort wiggle room where you put them on, you feel kind of good about yourself. Do you wear a belt? I do not feel good about myself now in these pants. These pants are hanging on by a thread I'm looking at I'm starting to like dig out some other pants to be like okay, like if I have a big meal, I'm gonna have to segue into these pants, and that's not a good feeling into the pants.

Yeah, okay, Blake. Do you wear a belt?

I wear a belt.

I do blake doesn't have like a proper as and thighs to hold it up as well.

You know, we're that's proper. That's your body shaming me. Yeah, I don't give a fuck about that. I'll body shave all day long.

Dude.

Stop, but you don't wear a belt, Adam. There's there's no belt happening.

In your world. No, I do not need a belt, dude, And what's up with that?

What's up?

No belt? My ass and thighs hold my pants up, they're not coming down.

You know, you could use the belt as an area to stunt like you know, you're a watchman, a watch guy. What if you had really really nice belt. No, if you're a belt belt guy, man, I'm telling you the belt, the belt matches the watch. First of all, I don't want to be a belt guy.

Why, that's not a thing.

You said you didn't want to have ever own a roller? Come on, and here we and here we are.

That's that's true. Come on, you're right, you're right. I never never say never. I don't see myself being a belt guy.

Yeah.

Well, the thing is is, if you're a belt guy, you know what your you know what you're doing you're showing off your stems. Your stems, that's what you're doing. You're showing off your legs.

That's what you try to take. You try to distract from your lower hat. Adam, everything is above the belt.

You have a belt. You're showing off your legs.

Yes, that's that's taking a shine to the lower lower me. I'm trying to hide the lower hat.

Okay, I didn't realize that a belt.

It does.

It.

It's breaking you off into two, into two segments.

Break.

It's just breaking you off off two segments. I don't want anyone to realize.

I thought it was highlighting your dick, because it's right there. It is.

No, you're wrong. You couldn't be more wrong.

You're way off right. It's like a matt. You can't see your dick at all.

It's breaking you off into two sections. I want one flowing section so no one can tell that my lower half is the exact same length as my torso and I'm very very awkwardly shaped. It's science.

Okay, you're isn't that okay?

Good torso and your No, I think you want to be the exact same length. No, you would want your legs to be a little longer.

My torso's too long.

Okay, wow, look at my guys. Just take your weirdly. I didn't realize. And you don't wear a belt. You can easily you can like touch your elbows to the ground. Then, wow, because your torso so long, your legs are tired. What in the Jennifer Hudson tunnel did you do?

Brother?

I'm saying, I'm saying that my torso and my legs are the exact same length. Oh my god, so I could easily bend over and touch the ground. It really has nothing to do with how flexible I am. It's the fact that my torso is the same length as my legs.

Okay, and leaving.

And Dura says his torso's longer than his legs, which I do not believe.

He's bending over right now.

And you can touch your elbows to the ground.

No, no, no, no, I thought you could because you said your torso is feel freezing, and I gotta, I gotta take a look.

Anybody anyone touched their elbows?

Yeah? I could. I could when I was in your elbows. Yeah, that's incredible. When I was like in eighth grade, the l part of your bow yeah, yeah, yeah, this part that's crazy and now I can just pulmit, but that's legit.

I feel like people can't even touch the floor with their fingertips.

Well, and that's what I'm saying. I'm I'm awkwardly shaped. I had. It's just it's too.

It's too like, but I don't think that's what that's what makes your shape awkward.

Just so, oh my god. And Adam is, yeah, you just grabbed your toes like it was not He just put his own cock in his mouth.

Dick real quick, dude, if you're on YouTube.

You have no idea how many times I've tried.

I think I do. They write it into workaholics, so.

I don't know if it's more than ten, but it's it's more than I think I can. I think I would say three to five times I can do it. That was hard for you, though, that.

Was very hard. I think I tore a ligament.

Right, It's like two times before puberty and then three or four times after.

Would you say you're sorry?

I was just saying, like, trying to suck your own dick is like two times before puberty and then like three or four seven You're like, I got the length.

Here, right, Yeah, you got to try. The longer your cockits, the more you're gonna give it a shot.

Birthdays, I like to try one more time. I feel like if I if I had and I mean maybe not now because my body has broken, but I bet if I had an extra inch, if I had an extra inch, I could I could suck. I could suck my own cock sixty one more inch, I do believe, at least kind of nibble.

If I had one more inch, That's what I'd be doing to that.

That's it.

I wish I had one more inch, So yeah, you want to just be hitting it right.

You know it's funny when guys are like, no, I would never, dude, I would not do that. I'm like, it's very You don't have to giz in your own mouth obviously, but but you know you would.

You would?

You would?

I mean I got that you feel like, yeah.

It's slurped down a couple of feel freeze.

You're feeling free fucking nibble your tip man on, because like, what is.

It even comfortable to do? Like, do you know what I'm saying?

You work towards it and not everything sexually pleasurable is comfortable.

You know, it's Blake smoking like a like he's got a fucking experience. You work towards it.

It's okay.

Not everything that feels good is comfortable, you know what I mean. Sometimes it's strenuous activity you feel standing.

Yeah, exactly, everybody's coming. All right, These the hard hitting cues that we we answer here on This is important. This is important, that it's important. We should get my dad in here to do another uh the SoundBite.

We need some more drops.

I don't know. I'm just going through the motions here, and I'm like, am I realizing too much about us? No?

No, no, are you questioning the entire thincity of the pod?

Come on, man, you guys, I think I'm off the pod.

No, I'm just like, if you're busy blowing yourself, it's a lot of like effort to like detach yourself from what's happening.

You know, you need another No, not exactly, Adam sitting back like I think I figured that.

I think exactly.

Wait, sorry, well, I understand what you're saying because you're like your nose when you're cranking down, when you're jerking off, you're you're you think you can easily think about what's happened, like take yourself somewhere else or like watch Porno or or whatever. You could you can go in this bank bank and you can be like, okay, this memory or whatever. I think it would be harder to think when you're slobbing on your knob like corn on the cop.

That's what I'm saying.

Sluggish bone, sluggish ruggish.

Bone and Adam, as I said it now, I'm like, yeah, but then like you find like a.

Move, then you go that works, yeah, man, I'm saying.

And then and then you go, yeah, like like a BJ move, like a self J move.

Something that like I'm guessing that now now that you now that we're getting in, I get gritty about this and oh blake, can you twist your tongue?

See? And that to me makes me, that makes me not.

So if you will get walked in on me like bent overdunner.

Training, what are you doing? It kind of.

Looks like yeah, it's just like when a dog kind of sucked its olf dick? All right, that was.

Take back.

Haven't you ever seen apologies or haven't you ever seen a dog just going after it?

Man?

Yeah, they're not sucking their dick. They're cleaning it right sometimes they are, are they?

So anyways, it was my son's first birthday. Oh okay, I do have it. So with the cake, with the.

With the cake thing where you were saying saying saved the cake, you're saying like it was just like as leftovers. You're not like freezing it, like you know, like people have an anniversary their weddings and they you.

Know, although Adam's like first birthday, you can freeze cake, freeze cake. Brothers key, it's so good. So this isn't like I know you're saying, dude, you gotta chuck it.

This isn't like no, no, no, we absolutely should have thrown it away right away. I've had cake for three three nights in a row, chucket like chucky, you gotta get rid of that good the am I doing and it's fucking I was trying to find the woman's name who made us his cake because he was so good. I'm like, yeah, well, I'm like this is too real, you know.

Yeah.

Levana's was filming in the neighborhood the other day and stopped by with like donuts and coffee from Crafty just to like hang and I was like, don't mind if I do crushed a donut, maybe two, and then he left like two or three, and they've just been here and I'm just I go over the knife, you know, I cut up. I'm lying.

That's a trick with donuts, dude, is you take You're like, I'm not going to have the whole thing. Then you cut off like a little, you know, a fourth and you're like, oh, it's just a little bite, and then fourth meal. Then in the little later in the day you're like, well, I'm gonna have a couple of coffee, so I might as well have a little and then you chunk. And then later in the evening you're like, it's just half a donut. It's not much. And then then you ate a donut. Then you just had a donut.

The biggest truth teller is when you you're like, not going to finish it, not gonna eat that last one. Then you go in there later that night and it's gone and you're like, who fucking hate that? Yeah, obviously it's mine?

Who ate? Or how about this? Have you thrown away donuts or cookies or whatever?

I did?

I had to and then gone back in the trash and gone trash donuts because I have I have?

Are you racon no?

I have? Dude? Wow? You know you know what sent me over the edge in when I was obese, when I was battling obesity on on tour and after tour, uh is when I had my last hip surgery and Adam Rays as recovery for my hip surgery, gave me two dozen donuts. That's a psychotic amount of donuts. That's it.

That's crazy for one person.

He's a sweetheart, he's a good man. Doctor phil prescribe me some two dozen donuts. And so then then I'm like, I have all these donuts. I'm like, dude, And and then Chloe's like, well, do you want me to throw them away? And I'm like, yes, throw them away? No, And then she throws them away and I'm like, well not, we should save some of them. She's like, Okay, save the ones you like. And I'm like, well, let's just save all of them for now, and she's like okay.

Because they're the bready kind and not the.

They're they're the all kinds. They're the all kinds. But they but it took me a couple of weeks to get through two dozen.

Yeah, that's a lot.

Yeah, And so did you throw the garbage out? Dude? So then we put it through them away. There was stuff on top of them that I took off this he was gross. It was fucking disgusting. And I still ate the doughnut.

Have we done this? Top three donuts?

By the way, I'd like to call out Simply Sweet Cakes here in Orange County. They made they made my son's birthday cake. Okay, simply sweets cake. Look at look at that, Jesus stop, that's elite level.

It's beautiful. It's beautiful and it's beautiful. What's the what's the I was on? Is it cake? I should know this? What is it fon fontt or what is that the frosting ship that you sculpt with.

I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. It's a cake to me, it's.

The frosting that the frosting that you.

Like, sculp I will say I thought that the basketball was cake, not cake. The outside shell was a frosting and then it was SyRI syrofoam and wasn't delicious. Is it cake? But the rest of it was It's science.

Blake, give me your top three doughnuts, Blazer.

Look at this child eating. Look at him. He's living his best fucking life. Yeah.

I love that he had the Jack Nicholson sunglasses. My top three donuts. I love a maple bar, of course. I like anything like a like a a blueberry fritter.

Pecificity helped blueberry fritter interesting.

And then you know the they're called crollers. They're like the ones that are like Eggy.

And the middle my number one very good.

Very yummyum yum yum yum yum yummy. What are the I like a bear claw delicious.

I like a classic glaze because they're very easy to warm back up and then they are they can be old, they can be I should have saved those for the end, because then you can warm them back up and they're immediately they're back to the start again. Adam, spritz them with a little water, pose it down a little bit. You're saying, just like well you think I'm joking it.

That does help, Okay, Okay, but I hope, I hope you don't do it not old fashioned?

You're saying, like classic, like just the circle glaze, yeah, circle glazes? Yeah, yeah, okay, gotcha? What is that? Not cake?

And then and then I like, uh, I mean this is very specific, but there was like a okay, a gram cracker cake donut.

Okay, okay, don't you okay.

It was fucking delicious from wherever got me? These don't that's it? They? I mean, maybe do they ship to Orange County, California do donuts?

Yeah, the voodoos are starting to pop up, they're starting to populate. It was, it was it was very specifically Portland, I think, but now it was yeah, yeah, now it's all over the place.

I remember I remember being drunk standing in line at a donut shop at like three am and or two am or whatever time, and uh and then just being kind of mad at us where I'm like, what are we doing? We fucking partied all night and now we're standing in line in the cold to get donuts, Like this is inappropriate, This is the way this is. You're above You're above that obesity.

This is you like to get your top three off or what not?

Telling?

Okay, my number one, number one.

Number one's got to be the crawler.

Okay, gotta be the coroller. Boy?

Is that like?

Because I never feel bad about it.

They're very light, They're very like there's a U in there.

Croller.

I don't know. I would not know how to spell it. Croller krall like the movie.

I'm gonna look up a roller, Adam. It's it's a glazed donut, but it's a little more like egg.

Yeah, it's so delicious.

That's my number one.

Oh yeah, those are those are good. Those are good. You're not wrong.

They look like monster truck tires.

As the list goes on, these are the ones that bring me more shame. Okay, uh, the next one has to be just uh jelly.

Oh dude, what did I do? What did I do? Jelly? Dude?

What did I do? I don't funk with that. I don't think you don't jelly.

And I don't. I don't like powdered jelly. I like glazed powdered.

Oh you're saying powdered donut with jelly inside.

I like jelly, A glazed jelly, raspberry, strawberry, whatever. Number three, it's gotta be any Claire like the Long John stuff with the cream.

The fact that you know the names of all the it's and I'm a big French guy, I guess because I'm up here with the Crullers that you Claires. Okay, yeah, it doesn't really do anything for me. I don't like a Boston cream. I like the Long John shaped.

Yeah, the bar, the.

Bar cream pile, another inch of cream pile.

This is the way. Absolutely well. Yeah, I think I think I like Adam's top three a little better. But you have a lot of ship in the middle of yours, which just kind of weird.

I don't even remember yours. It doesn't matter, you don't doesn't matter. I remember you said donuts your favorite dessert. Because if we're just going to desserts, dessert first, my favorite breakfast, I would have to go m I would have to go either pie or cookies. M okay, great ass?

Okay? And what pie are we talking about here? Poon tang pie they were talking about hair pie.

Would have to put that first. Yes, I would go, uh, I'm not a doughnut pie, A Dutch apple, a dunge apple, pie. Huh. I'd like to see your Dutch and you put a little ice cream on it. I also like cherry cheesecake pie.

What the cherry cheese?

Is it a cheesecake or is it a pie?

Pie? Isn't that just cheesecake?

Yeah?

I feel like you're cheese with cherry.

I know, but that's not a pie.

We're off, We're off. The cheesecakes not a pie. Maybe, why isn't it?

Oh?

I guess you're right. I always considered it a pie.

Why isn't it It has a crust like stuff.

They would call it cheese pie.

That sounds gross.

That sounds gross.

Cheese pie sounds gross.

Cheese pie doesn't sound as good as cheesecakes.

Pie does not sound good. Dude, cheese sound.

You guys have been conditioned.

You have.

For your mind.

Okay, hey, I look up is cherry cheese? And then it filled in Is cherry cheesecake a pie? And the answer is no? And I and I trust what does say? Yeah? No? No? AI said.

No, Yeah, it's cheesecake. Okay, you know what's good? Is cheesecake ice cream?

Oh? No?

No?

And then Reddit says it is a pie? Well, Reddit doesn't well, this is a I that answered the fucking question. Dude.

I don't trust A. I trust A. I over read it.

No, dude, no, dude, because I use AI all the time to cheat on wordle and uh, I you know you guys play wordle. No wow, dude, Oh dude, I've been playing wordle. It's it's very fun. But sometimes I like a cheat. Uh and so what's the.

Point of the game. That sounds like it's a game you play against yourself. You're cheating yourself at that.

No, no, no, no no. I go against my sister and my mother in law and uh and they were They've been on a real hot streak lately. So I'm like going, like, I can't let these bitches win. I can't interesting, I cannotcake. So then I use AI to figure it out. AI is so dumb, dude, it's so dumb and just it can't figure this ship out. And then I have to use my brain and then I figure it out. Oh yeah, bitch, I don't like.

Word because the first one is just a random guess.

Yeah yeah, yeah. You you have your your go to word that you start with that you think is a good word. Using a lot of what's your what's your go to water?

Nice dude, that's that's kind of you love watery love water.

I kind of don't think AI is right because is cheesecake considered a cake or a pie? It is based. It is a baked filling inside a crust, so it is a pie. It is a custard pie. There we go.

Are you still in character? I think, by the way, cherry cheesecake as opposed to what are we saying strawberries?

I'm a cherry boy. You know what, Blake, I fucking cared, dude. We're talking about desserts. I know, like I said, Dutch apple, I said cherry cheesecake.

I got a feeling. Blake's a key lime pie. Guy.

I love key lime pie. If it's usually it's very good.

I like that you're kind of a key lime pie as a human.

Really, why because you imagine me living on a boat in the Keys in the Florida keyth No.

Because I would, I would take a spoon you up? Good bye?

Oh god.

Well, you're a little zesty, dude.

You're a little you got a little gram cracker crust to Okay.

You're a little zesty.

Okay. I love a good key lime pie. They're usually very good. At steakhouses. Oh man, give it to me.

They're like, and sir, what steak would you like?

But you don't give it to you because you're not at steakhouses, because you don't eat food. No, I don't know steak I do. I don't love.

I don't love steakhouses. I'm not a super steak guy. I lean more towards the pork chop.

Sure, I usually have those that are steakhouse.

That's what I usually order. It is a pork chop or like a little little chicken or something, or a wedd salad.

I love learning about man.

We're still learning.

I've known you so long and I'm still learning.

Still learning because we never listen. We never listened to.

We spent ten years kind of being like, yeah, but no, I have this thing from my childhood.

No, no, no, dude, listen to my favorite donut and it's like, what was mine? I don't remember.

I have no idea. I have no idea. And hey, by the way, miney change tomorrow. Because I kind of just make shit up. I kind of make shit up. I love you, guys.

I don't remember half the stuff we talked about Yeah, no me neither.

People will come up and bring up very specific stuff about the show, and uh, I won't know. I won't know what the hell they're talking about. Don't bring up an episode. I kind of will be like, I just want to remember that. I don't really remember this story that well.

You're like, I have a one year old.

I don't. I'm a dad, like I have okay, and we're on the roof drinking beers.

What the okay doesn't sound funny to me. I don't like that.

That's sound dangerous.

Yeah, uh seems like And then people come up about the podcast, so talk about the podcast and talk about it, and I'm like, this is even worse. We're just verbal diarrhene up here. We've done two hundred plus episodes. I don't know what the fuck we've talked about diary.

I remember a lot.

And then when people kind of give a ship me give me ship for retelling a story, I'm like, dude, we've been doing this for It'll be five years now and a crazy month and yeah, I think in a few months it'll be five years.

That's crazy that it's important.

Which is insane. We're all visibly older. It's really been fun.

My hairline is getting crazy.

It looks good. You guys look better than every No.

By the way, I got a haircut the other day and my kid I picked him up from school, my three year old, and he goes, Daddy, what shape is your hair?

Oh?

No. I was like, that's just a cool, like three year old brain.

I like that. You know, he's got fifty eight words to use, and he's like, what shape is your brain?

And I'm like hair, and I'm like, what shape? What shape is my brain?

In?

I love that. That's funny. I can't wait. I can't wait for bo to start throwing out some good, some real funny words. He's still working with a dad, Dad, dad, dad. You know that's his number one stunner. Now that's good. At least his dad he did. He does a roof when he sees a dog.

Oh the barks, he goes roof.

That's which is pretty tight.

You guys gotta go. Have you been to a zoo yet?

Yeah? I took him to the Santa Anna Zoo, which is a zoo down here in Orange County. Don't go okay, it's a gar bid zoo. Shouldn't even call itself a zoo. They should call it. Hey, come see these empty cages but no animals in it, right, it's fucking depressing it. I come from Omaha, Nebraska. The Henry Doiley Zoo is one of the top premiere zoos in the country. San Diego, Austin, San Diego, great company.

There's also just one guy in Nevada who's ranch ship.

Yeah, I'm sure Tiger King.

See that's the ship I would like to go see. It's like the weird, the bootleg, the back alley zoos where you might get attacked by something. Yeah, that could get I'd like to bring my son to.

The I'm still gonna send it. That's the kind of place you go where the guy's like and in here I got my biggest tiger h he's a.

Runner some somewhere the doors open cars. Yeah.

God, that was one of the best amazing Jonathan bits where he's like reaches gets his basket, like the cobra is one of the deadliest snakes, and then he tripped and he's like he just moved on to the next joke. Amazing, Jonathan shout out the dude. I love that guy.

You guys loved amazing.

I never really watched Look, if you haven't seen his special on Comedy Central, go watch it.

He is so funny.

I got her forces.

Oh so he was your that of that generation. There was amazing Jonathan. There was obviously Gallagher Gallagher too.

Y uh.

There was Penn and Teller, which is a little different speed. But Carrot Top. Yeah, of those magic, Yeah they're magic.

I couldn't tell her kicked ass, but yeah, amazing Jonathan was like he did like cocaine jokes and stuff. He like went for it. He was much more edgy.

Oh ship. Yeah, and when you were eight years old you.

Were like, yeah, my dad's like, my dad's like that's funny, right, Like I.

Think, so, yeah, that's right. If you say so, I want to see him live.

I'm like, oh, okay, we could go to Vegas.

All right, sure we could go to Vegas. You could, but you have to stay in the room. Stay in the room.

A dad dropping their kid off, like going to Vegas. We're gonna go see amazing Jonathan dropping a kid off at the show and like I'll be back.

In hitting the table.

And if I'm not back, wait long liver to the room.

You got a big boy, You're a big boy. Now you're a big boy.

We did see amazing Jonathan Live Me and my father was great.

You're a big boy. That's sick.

I gotta find that we're at in Vegas.

Yeah, Larry, just you and your dad in Vegas.

Yes, sometimes truth is strange.

Yes, Sam? And did he at any point say kick it in the room?

No, man, I have a great father.

Well, of course you have a great father. But I feel part of me, Michael. I mean maybe when I went to bed, maybe when I went to no doubt.

But you guys were like, all right, we're both going to bed, right, And then when you woke up, you saw him like slip under the covers again and go I'll just sleep.

I just sleep. I have to go drink thirteen cups of coffee right now here, take two boxes of donuts? Have here? Yeah, go sit here with your two boxes of donuts.

Have addicts. Where's your wallet?

Where's your wallet?

Real quick?

Hey, mommy gave you some money?

Right?

Where's your chain wallet? Hey? That chain wallet that's connected?

Sleeping and you feel you're.

Wha connected?

How funny is that that I woke you up with your chain wallet? Oh you're already dressed hand, Dad.

Ready to go? What time is it, Dad? What time is it? It's five am? Where are we going? We actually donuts? We actually have to leave right now. We're going home.

He's packing super We're going.

We have to leave right now. Actually, Ted, why.

Are you holding your bloody hand? Worry about it?

No, it's fine, don't worry about it. Why is your finger pointed that direction? Don't worry about it? Jelly, don't worry about that's jelly from the donut.

Were are your shoes?

It's a jelly donut? Daddy ate one before you woke up.

This is Uncle Tony. This is Uncle Tony. He's going to escort us to the bank real quick.

Ow Ow, this is uncle Tony. Yes, he's hold. He's a chiropractor.

Yeah, he's a good friend of mine.

He's a good guy friend of mine.

God, why does he have a walkie talkie? I don't know. Maybe he's uh, he's playing hide and seek. He's gonna go camping. I don't know.

We gotta go, We gotta go, Okay, okay?

Any take backs and the apologies, any epic slam well, I would like to epic slam Adam for not watching celebrity Jeopardy.

Yet that's not a very good friendship.

Moved you crushed?

That is on me. I deserve that.

I deserve, dude, because I would love to go in depth about it. But maybe next time after.

We haven't been watching lot of TV. It's been a lot of bow bow time. The granted here it's been you know.

Yes, I want to applaud Blake okay for swinging for the fence. Thank you as you did. Thank you a very high tea move. Thank you if you had gotten Leif Ericsson game changer I know. Also also the fact that nobody got Ghostbusters.

Well for the last we'll get back. We'll get into detail of it after Adam watches it, because I do have I do have some intel I would love to.

Get and I'm sorry I would have you got a little homework. I would love to have been part of this conversation. Yeah, I don't know what any of that stuff even means, although you put it together. You swing for the fence, which means you went all in at the end, which I'm proud of you because didn't we talk about how he for sure isn't going to do that, and maybe we put maybe us high tea guys kind of put that bug in his ear.

You got to watch it. It's like it's almost as if you boys screw ripped in the episode. You gotta watch it. It is Peaks and Valleys. You gotta excited.

Good.

I hope everybody tunes into Hulu.

All right, I am.

We will definitely cover that next.

I think I have any takebacks or what important.

That it's important. We can go viral with this one.