Travelling with Bipolar Pt 2: Japan, Camping, and Practical Survival Tips

To conversations with. My name is Shaylee Huckendorn and I live with Bipolar 2 Disorder.

Sharing with others is healing both individually and collectively. Sharing our stories will educate others, bring more understanding, shed more light and smash more stigma.

Our voices need to be heard our stories aren't over yet this is bipolar hi everyone welcome back to this is bipolar i am shaley hugendorn i live with bipolar 2 disorder i'm a mom i'm a teacher event planner and all the creative things and i am also a mental health advocate and i have my co-host with me, and I am going to let Andrea tell us all about you.

Hi everybody welcome back my name is dr andrea vasilev i also live with bipolar and i am a therapist here in california and i am also a mental health advocate and where can you find us shaley if you're looking for us you we spend most of our time on instagram and so andrea's and i know this at best dot life dot bipolar we like the dots i am this dot is bipolar and this dot is dot dot bipolar right this dot is dot bipolar dots are hard i know look at the show my

friends yes you can also find me on my website andreavisalive.com to see stuff that i do and shaley i think you have a new website don't you i do this is bipolar and everything is there i did want to mention one of the biggest questions that i get asked on Instagram and emails and on the website is about peer support groups.

And I have a peer support group and I do it through Instagram. So it is through subscription. So if you go to my feed, there's a little button that says subscribe. And if you subscribe, then you Instagram will take care of the rest. And then you'll be in our private chat. Always someone to chat with because our beautiful, brave, bipolar folks in there are from all over the world.

And then we meet, our favorite part is meeting once a month on zoom and we just connect and it is such a powerful thing because for 11 years i had never met another person that lived with bipolar disorder and just got it i can say that's wild things and or what would be considered unchanged things and people are like yes i get that because it's like that's great i'm so glad that you have that i've heard good things about it yeah i've

sent clients there i specialize in treating people with bipolar here in California. So great resource. Thank you for that. And while we're talking about herself.

Andrea has a book coming out. She researches self-stigma and I have learned so much from Andrea. So watch for that as well.

Watch for that. Yes, this summer, summer 2026. We did an episode back in the summer about travel and bipolar disorder and the triggers and also the things that we can do. It is, I love the episode. In fact, I referred to the episode because there is some resources there. That was a killer episode helping people travel. Because we were both on our way to travel. So it was real time. So we talked about our trips. I went on a camping trip. Andrea went to Japan.

And so we wanted to talk a little bit about what we did, what we didn't do, what worked, what didn't work. So let's start with Andrea because I don't know.

Yes, my camping trip was awesome but japan like japan that's so cool i will give a little context for my trip to japan i don't generally travel across that many time zones because it makes me feel not so great with bipolar but i work very closely with an organization called the international society for bipolar disorders it's very cool it is an academic organization but as a doctor of psychology i I am interested in that.

I work with that part. But more importantly, I work a ton and I'm a huge advocate for lived experience within that organization. And ISBD is really cutting edge. We really push the envelope there in terms of involving people with lived experience. Nothing for us, without us, that kind of thing. Really representing voices there, bringing them into the conference for presentations.

Networking, connecting people. So that's why I said, okay, fine, I'll go to Japan because the annual conference, we learned lots of things, was in Japan this year. Otherwise, I would have not gone to Japan because it's really far from where I live in California. Really far. And the coolest thing about that conference, oh, I so wish I could have went. The coolest thing about that conference is it's going to be next year, 2026 in my neck of the woods.

Yes. What was the coolest thing about my trip to Japan, Shaylee?

The coolest thing and I benefited from this trip is if you're watching on YouTube. Andrea sent me earrings and they're big Shaylee flower earlings and they're so beautiful. So go on YouTube and look at the flower earlings. What a good friend.

And okay, quick, funny story. Everybody that listens, they they speak bipolar so we can go on tangents so i have been having a rough time and andrea said oh yeah they've been delivered and i didn't have them like three weeks ago and i cried and i was very upset and then i looked and i'm like that's not the right postal code i gave andrea my childhood postal code so i chat gpt will it come to that said oh it'll probably come with the address so then I have like my mail goes right

into my house like I have a mail slot and then it's like a beautiful basket it falls into but I was recycling so I did the recycling and I, Little envelope from Japan came out. And you can have some faith in USPS and Canada Post. I do. Sponsor me. No, just kidding. So, yeah, Andrea sent me this. And definitely check out on her Instagram because there's beautiful, beautiful pictures. So, Andrea, tell us. We talked about how you were going to prepare for Japan.

Tell us the things that you actually did to prepare for Japan. So Japan's extra tricky because it's almost halfway across the world from California, right? So it's technically ahead in time. Like right now, it's tomorrow in Japan. But when you travel, you're technically traveling backwards because your body doesn't know Friday or Saturday or Thursday or Wednesday, right?

It only knows what time of day it is. So obviously, the time zones are our primary concern if you're new to this sort of area of learning. That's because bipolar is in many ways a malfunction of your body's central circadian clock. You can see a great episode that Shaylee did with Dr. Holly Swartz about social rhythms and how you can address that. Definitely look that up. Oh yeah, in Holly's book. Excellent. But that's where my mind goes first. I just wanted to clarify that.

My mind goes to traveling across time zones. So, Shelly, we talked about last time how to turn your clock in advance of leaving for your, right? So if you're going five time zones ahead of you, you're going to start doing things ahead of you a few days in advance. You can go back and listen. We talked all about this, gave you the website, jetlagrooster.com, how to set your clock. So I always do that. If I'm traveling forward, I start doing things an hour.

Is it later or earlier? Oh, my God, I'm going to mess it up. That's why the website will tell you what to do, but eating dinner, et cetera. What? Exactly. So I start doing it an hour different to align myself with my new destination in advance. Right. So that makes sense. The problem with Japan, so I was going to turn my clock back by a couple of hours, my body clock. The problem is we left, our flight was at like 10 in the morning.

So if I had turned my body clock back, I would have been going to sleep at like 3 in the morning and then getting up at like 6 in the morning to catch my flight. So that did not work. Okay. So if you're going someplace, you might want to pick your flight time based on what time it is in your destination, not what time it is where you're starting. So I didn't have the advantage of turning my clock in advance. So I got there. Travel is really overstimulating. Travel is hard on the body.

Being in the air is hard on your body. It's stressful, right? There's a lot of things that go on there. So when I got there, I was really sort of jazzed, really overstimulated. I don't know that I'd say I was experiencing hypomania, but I was in the ballpark. Let's say that. Right. It's hard to differentiate like what's hypomania and what's just being super excited and stimulated. Yeah. Either way, I had my backup meds. So I had meds that would help me sleep.

Right. Ask your prescriber about something to help you sleep. Yeah. And I ended up taking it actually the whole time I was there, which, you know, was how it was indicated to take. Doctor said, fine, let's do that. But I did need it and I wasn't ashamed to be like, OK, I need this because I need to go to sleep. Yeah, not an option.

Exactly. If you remember from the last episode, Shaylee, I talked about the fact that some of the medications I take, I think I talked about this, are not outlawed in Japan. Yeah, I don't know if you talked about it on the episode, but I know we talked about it, so tell us. Okay. So different countries have different laws about different medications, and it turns out there's some old vestige law from, I think, World War II, where anything that is Adderall-based is not allowed in Japan.

No ifs, no ands, no buts, no doctors, no nothing, right? Yeah. So what did you do about that? So my doctor's pretty great. He knew a workaround in that I could take another medication that was similar, but not the same. But I did have to get a medical certificate. So I had to write to the Japanese government with a certificate from my doctor. And, you know, the prescription and the information and all the forms filled out. And they sent me this thing. They were like, present this at customs.

Meanwhile, I get to customs and nobody even bats an eye.

And I went through so much drama to get this certificate. Thanks, Betty. Yes. I went up to the customs desk and officers and I was like, I have pills here. You need to look at my pills. I went through all this trouble. Please look at my pills. Right? That's so funny. But the problem is if you didn't do it, guaranteed.

Guaranteed there would have been someone that went did it right that would be and that'd be fine we're not recommending not doing it but it didn't happen to adria right exactly but they i had all the paperwork lined up i had it all with me but nobody asked for it so i felt the need to be like you made me do this paperwork please read my paperwork and count my pills yeah that's how did that go though because travel you've got all the other things and we know med change

like how far ahead did you have to do this so i started because he had a couple of different ideas my doctor about a different med i could take and the first one didn't go very well so i started over the summer my trip was in early september and i started maybe in june asking him what i could do filling out papers so give yourself lots of time and it's not just japan i know someone who went to Dubai and this may have been a number of years ago,

but she had a lot of trouble bringing in her medication. So just check on any consulate website and get the official information better safe than sorry. That's just wild to me. When we live with bipolar disorder, we can be like impulsive or depending on where I'm at in the mood scale, it could be that seems like a lot of work. If I'm a hypomanic, I'd be like, well, I'm fine. So it like not even five years ago, I wouldn't have prepared for a trip and I still don't always.

So we're telling you, if you want your best bet, because I have asked on Instagram, I can ask again, because they're fascinating, about how many people have had travel disasters, even all traveling. I would have before kind of been like, oh, yeah, okay. But we highly recommend this, especially if you want to do well. And I think, too, a lot of it was the stigma for me. Like, you know, I have to do all this stuff to travel.

It made me feel different again or like some of that self-esteem i've been working so hard on bubbles up right yeah yeah exactly so you did all those things and then i got there and i don't know about you actually i do know about you but i'm a travel planner uh-huh i'm a big planner like someone else i know and i planned the first evening and day to be really low-key like i get there and I want to see all the things and

do all the things and I deliberately planned that time just for my body to adjust. So I already did what I said, which is really powerful because I don't know about other people. I don't know about you, but I feel like, especially if I don't travel like outside of the country, I feel like I need to get all my money's worth. I feel like I need to do the best thing. I get anxious about like making it the best. So I have never done what Andrea has done.

And upon reflection, upon reflection, that would have been a good idea. So note to self, listen to my own podcast before I go away. But I may all of you that you are like, take care of yourself that well, that you know yourself and because I know myself, but that you don't ignore the things that you know about yourself. Right. Well, I'll tell you a little secret about bipolar that probably everyone knows, so it's not a secret.

Prevention is the name of the game. The idea here is not to constantly be cleaning up a mess or an episode, right? The idea is to prevent them. So as soon as I got on the plane, I changed my watch to Japan time. I started eating my meals on Japan time, even though it was like, you know, 10 in the morning. I was like, we're going to eat dinner or whatever it was, right? And I got there and I kept the same thing. Now, of course, I was still jet lagged,

so we were up really early the next day. Just laid in bed, just rested. It's okay. Don't freak out if you're not sleeping, sleeping, right? Maybe your body just needs some rest. It will adjust. I got up. I got some light first thing the next day, but took it really easy. Wow. And then once you got there, you also had the added bit where you were a part of the conference and had things like that you actually had to show up to in professional job-like things.

I know, in a blazer and a skirt and all that. Right? So you also had to plan clothing, which is actually the favorite part of vacation planning, just FYI. But I am wondering, did you go ahead of time? How did you plan that if someone does have to go on like a business trip? Very smart. Very good question. So last year, this conference, the same conference was in Iceland. And I went to Iceland. And we went first to the conference and then we went traveling.

That wasn't as great as I had hoped because I was still tired and jet lagged. And I needed to be absolutely at 110% during the conference. Right. So I did it the other way this time. We traveled first and the conference was at the end. And we went home right after the conference. Okay. And that was better for me. Yeah. Interesting. And you got used to things and you had a rhythm. Yeah. Because some people might think, oh, by then I'm too tired. But actually.

Well, yeah. I did plan a day in between where we moved from where we were staying in Tokyo to where the conference was. And I didn't really do anything that day but sort of prepare food for the next day and organize my stuff and chill out.

So I did force rest that day because the conference is intense. So if you're planning something intense, you've got to plan the rest. really not an option. Yeah. And I find even as someone with bipolar disorder, even if I'm traveling or going to a conference in town, you know, we can get excitable or this or you're like in this bubble of learning or whatever. It can trigger hypomania for me because I get high because I don't go to conferences that I'm not interested in. Right.

So new ideas or whatever. I have to be careful about that. Is that.

This kind of conference for you or is it more of like a learning conference of you tell me we're going to do i actually you know what we are going to do a whole episode because we want to know squeeze out everything that andrea's learned from said conference okay but did the actual conference bring up any symptoms for you it did it did more so in previous years when i've been to the same conference especially at the start when it was all brand new right now i'm a little used to it.

And I had a lot of responsibilities this year. So I was a little more focused on taking care of those things and arranging things and organizing people, etc. But still, it's their long days. I'm on the board of directors. The board of directors meeting was like an entire day plus a dinner. Yeah. So by the end of the three conference days and the board meeting day, yeah, it was a lot. It was really stimulated. It was one of those, it felt like boom and bust, which is not a great way to

live, but I'd go, go, go all day and be so excited. And then I'd get back to my Airbnb and just deflate. Yeah. Right. So bipolar is a disorder of mood and energy. So we have to be really careful about regulating our energy. Yeah. And if you're anything like me, sometimes I feel like... I wish I could be more like you, but sometimes I get frustrated and bitter that I have to do that much planning or I have to, do you know what I mean?

Like sometimes I'm like, can I not, especially if I'm hypomanic, right? Like I want to be carefree. I want to go with the flow. I actually, when we did our big trip to Europe, mind you, I was planning a prom for my daughter the week before, but I kind of got paralyzed about the planning, which is bizarre because I'm the planner in this family. And my former husband, he took over the planning, which is really weird because also with my anxiety, I'm controlling, right?

And so, yeah, I had to let go of that control because I did not have capacity. So it was really different for me to show up and he'd be like, well, this and this and this. And he did a great job. I do regret not planning a little, like having a little bit of ideas in my head because then you get there and you have to make choices really quickly. Anyways.

Yeah. I feel like I'm, self-aware but do you ever feel like you're so self-aware that you like I like rebel about it do you know what I mean like I'm like I don't like it when my brain is telling me I should do something so then the bipolar is like I'm not doing that like do you ever experience that or am I like a total weirdo sometimes I'm like I'm like this little like teenager rebelling against my own brain even though I know what's going to help me do you ever felt like

that or am I bizarre You're not bizarre. I see this a ton in my clients and in my friends. I do. Don't see it as much in me because I honestly just think it's because I've been doing this for so long. I was diagnosed at 14 and I, as a child and teenager, was a super goody-goody and carried that into adulthood. So I was like, I'm going to follow all the rules because I'm such a loser, right? So it's just a habit now.

Yeah. And I was diagnosed at 32, so I don't have groundwork for that. And my family is the same way. Like, we're very, like, chaotic. My parents, I always say hippy-dippy, but my parents are like, go with the flow. Like, they're not big planners. Yeah. And it's hard to have 32 years of life and then be told you need to change how you go about your life. I was still a child when I was diagnosed. So I didn't really have an adult way of doing things.

Yeah. It was really imprinted pretty early. Back to Japan. Japan. Yeah. Yeah, you saw, Shelley, the pictures that I texted you of all the things I bought in Japan. Yeah. Was that exciting? How did you control that? Did you? I came home with, I mean, they talk a lot about the shopping. Do you plan a budget ahead? Yeah, but it didn't. The real deal. Yeah, we plan a budget.

And then whatever. So people talk about shopping in Tokyo, and I was thinking, well, you know, sizes, clothing sizes are pretty small. They're not going to fit me. I don't have to worry about shopping. Meanwhile, I came home with an extra suitcase full of stuff. A lot of it was for my husband. He got a lot of clothes because he fit in a lot of their clothes. And I came home with, as Shirley mentioned, seven handbags. They were not all for me. Some of them were gifts.

So the question on the table is was this a hypomanic experience of impulsive spending or was this a sort of i'm on vacation this is a holiday i'd like to enjoy myself i'm gonna let my hair down a little i'm gonna spend a little more than usual or did i lose control i'm gonna go with that it was not hypomania i was overstimulated for sure i was sleeping less for sure. But I don't feel that I got to the point of not having control.

These were all choices and I made the handbags. I found a warehouse sale, so they weren't very expensive. Totally. Let's put them on your Instagram. You should do a post. Oh my gosh. No, bad example. Yeah. No, you could be like hypomania or enjoying myself because you know what? That's actually, we're joking, but that's actually really powerful because that's one of the things we were talking about in the peer support group is that.

Even being hyper aware, it feels like you can't always live in the moment because you're always planning or you're hyper vigilant that I can't sit in the happiness or I can't sit in the, you know, a neurotypical or a person that doesn't live with bipolar disorder might buy seven purses on a holiday.

So it isn't necessarily because of the bipolar disorder but sometimes I think I found a bit of freedom within the disorder when I wasn't always trying to figure it out right because when you get hyper focused on something so like you're almost making it worse by trying to figure out is this Shaylee is this bipolar is this hypomania am I just happy I get really really stuck in that So I love that you just did that. You just were like, no, you know, logically, let's do this.

And I think one of the things I learned from my therapist to like be a detective. And so I would ask around like, hey, have you ever done this on a vacation or that and kind of weigh it like, no, I didn't buy 27. I bought seven. So I love that you did that because sometimes I don't take the time to reflect on that and then remind myself. Instead, I imprint like, oh, I'm an overspender. Oh, no, no, no. And that negative narrative.

So being a detective is a great thing. And something to consider in that detective work is what we call change from baseline, right? Right. So if you never bought any purses or any accessories for yourself and you came home with seven purses that were $100 each from Japan, that to me looks like a change from baseline of significant magnitude. So a big change. Right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I already have a handbag obsession. Right. Yeah. These handbags, the cheapest one I bought was $7. Right. Yeah.

So me coming home with five for me and two for friends that averaged around $20 each didn't feel like a huge change for baseline. No, it wasn't Louis Vuitton. Right. I did get one Kate Spade because I've got a bit of a Kate Spade obsession. But it was at an outlet and was after the conference was over and it was my gift to myself. But again, one, not the whole store. Yeah. Yeah. So, Shaylee, you said be a detective. Your therapist taught you

that. And a great thing to consider when you're being a detective of your own behavior is change from baseline. So how much has your behavior changed from how you normally act? You don't like handbags or you don't own many handbags and you go to Japan and you come home with seven handbags that are $200 each. That to me, as a therapist, sounds like a significant change from baseline. That might be something to be concerned about. For me, I have a love of handbags, right?

And I came home with seven handbags, two were gifts and the rest averaged maybe $20 a piece. That does not feel like a significant change from baseline for me. I guess one was more expensive, a Kate Spade one because I love her. You know she had bipolar, right? And I know the tragedy of that. I know she has had bipolar disorder and her creativity was very clear in her purses. So yeah. I love her. I bought one, but again, that may have been a slight impulse.

I was trying to reward myself, but it was at an outlet and it was only one. Wasn't the whole store so again look for change from your personal baseline okay so you just blew my mind right there. And I think that that's really going to help me because my baseline of shopping when I'm euthymic is like I am a shopper. Deal finder. Tell us what euthymic means. Oh, euthymic is the fancy word for when you're not having symptoms.

So it is when you're not hypomanic or not depressed and you're just kind of, a lot of people call it like normal, but it's just when you're symptom free. Or almost symptom-free. There's some wiggle room there. What is completely symptom-free? I don't know. Love it. That made me feel better because then I think to myself, you know, what would I buy in a normal average month of not travel?

And I'm more of a shopper than I have one friend that, you know, she goes to France, her husband's French, and that's the time that she spends her clothes. So it might look like she's not on baseline because she'll spend like nothing for eight months, but that's when she gets her clothes for the year. I buy all the time. anyways that was really good i think that i can be more gentle with myself about things because of that thank you so too is something else you learned about either yourself or.

Your bipolar disorder and i don't mean from the conference but just from travel did anything new come up for you i think it emphasized the importance of physical well-being especially while traveling so i had big aspirations i looked up a gym where i could go yeah while i was in japan i didn't go okay, But you looked up. Yeah, yeah. But hey, were you not walking more? I was walking like 10,000 steps a day, which is crazy. So there's two lessons here, right?

There's a lesson of taking care of yourself physically. That also includes eating well, right? Being careful about what you eat so that your body feels good to support your brain and exercising. And I did have these two things put in my itinerary that we were going to go to the gym, but I was just too worn out. So the second lesson is the ability to be flexible. Yes. And being gentle with yourself. Not like I didn't go to the jam. Right. Yeah.

But at least I loved my clothes. You did look in case. I like that kind of shift. I know where this is in case instead of. Yeah. Yeah. Because, you know, our inner critic. Yeah. Wow.

That's really amazing. How do you do anything to prepare upon return? Because I think this is a big, a big one for me.

So return there's not as much you can do to prepare because you don't want to be turning your body clock while you're still on vacation right so returning was a little tough there was a lot of sleeping at strange times and i'd wake up at three in the morning for like four days after i got home three in the morning i woke up and had like a full meal starving yeah so again balance between what you're trying to accomplish and what your body is asking

of you right you can't come home and flip a switch and be like okay now i'm totally back on regular time right and yeah had to be gentle with myself okay have a bagel at 3 a.m you're not it's not the end of the world because you're really hungry so have your bagel and try to go back to sleep yeah yeah and i think too like if you are not you know. A lot of people have to get right back to work because you've just done a vacation. So it's hard.

I plan days off, right? Because I know there's going to be a bit of a blip or a crash or whatever. But sometimes that's not always possible. So I try to clear like the after schools, like after work schedule to nothing. And like the bare minimum. I also to order online groceries to be picked up because the thought of like going grocery shopping. So then sometimes we get home and like eat out a bunch because I didn't fill the groceries and went right back to work. Right.

So I love or y'all, if you listen to podcasts, you know, that online grocery ordering and just picking up has changed my life. Do you have delivery? Do you have grocery delivery? We do. I don't do that because I don't mind driving there. And I listen to audio books. So I don't actually mind that part. So but to your point, yes, I came home. I took a day and a half to do nothing.

We scheduled it so we were coming home on a weekend. and it's funny, we left on a Saturday at noon and got back on like a Saturday in the morning because the time changer is wild. But I work as a therapist in private practice, so the following couple of days, I scheduled my clients differently. My clients are amazing. They are very flexible. I was like, I'm going to Japan. I've got to change everybody's appointments, right?

So I scheduled those appointments to be at a more reasonable time for me, but still at a reasonable time for them. For the first couple of days. That is really, really wise. And so we've learned that. That is a lot of learning. So that's Japan. Arigatou gozaimasu to everybody I met in Japan, everybody at the conference, to you guys for listening. I know it took me like three days to learn to say that, but here we are. So Shaylee, this summer you went.

Tell us where you went. So our family has an annual camping trip. That's all the family.

So I have three brothers and two of them have families and my parents and this time my daughter brought her boyfriend along and so it's local so you I think it's no big deal so I don't do a lot of planning for that and it happens every year, this year was really really different so again it's that hard trying to figure out what was bipolar and what was grief I'm going to do episode on that if you want to go hear about my Instagram, I found out in spring my husband was leaving and so

this was very soon after yeah and it was on my own and it like everything was different um staying in my trailer all the things were different and I almost didn't go but yeah so we're not going to get really into that because I haven't done a ton of talking about my separation and pending divorce but we you know I will share what I can. So I need to put that in place because otherwise I can't evaluate it like I would on a regular trip. Exactly. So when a regular trip.

Yeah, you're very wise to do that because sometimes people think, oh, it's just bipolar, but bipolar interacts in this very interesting, very intricate way with all of our social circumstances. So, of course, this huge event is going to have an impact on you. Yeah, so I can talk a little bit about it, but I think it's so blanketed in grief. It's hard. Well, I guess people could learn from me that can sometimes we still go on vacation when parts of our life are falling apart.

Right. so pre you know past trips even my family is super tight and very close and but or like wild and loud and i'm very different than my brothers like i'm a city girl vegetarian we were mainly at a fishy lodge to first sell them to fish and they're hunters and they all live in small towns And I am a planner due to bipolar disorder and I'm a teacher planner by nature. And it's fly by the seat of your pants. So I have really had to do a lot of work with that. Like also it sounds hard.

Yeah, it's really hard. You know, accepting that I am with people that don't want to do that. And so I used to try and squish them into my plans and there was a lot of friction, a lot of that. So, yeah, I also only told them a couple days before. So a lot of circumstances impacting this trip. Yeah. So this camping trip was kind of a, I just want to be with my family.

I didn't know. So I went with zero expectations. I was like, you know what, if I go and we were staying in a cabin and I just stay in the room, stay in my bed the entire time, I'm just out of the space, out of my home. So that was a big thing for me living with bipolar disorder, especially because it feels like I've spent the money. You know, I only see my family like twice a year, sometimes once a year.

My big thing about vacations is i get so hyped up about it having like the idea of what it should be like or getting so hyped up that it's going to be the best time ever or we're going to have the most connections we're going to have these deep talks i have learned learned to like try to scale it back and make a list or like in my head what are the things that if i don't do and i come home i'll be disappointed what is all like

that right what's the it's like the whipping cream right But what is the base? And when I did that, I wasn't always chasing everything. I would just make sure that that base. So if I'm going to a specific place and there's a specific restaurant, it's like, okay, maybe someone won't be in the mood for it because I'm a big connector in deep talks. Maybe we'll just be small talk, but do fun things.

Or if I really want to catch up with a certain person on the trip and there's something, then I'll specifically set a time instead of just hoping it will happen so that I have the few things that I won't be upset about and I scale it right down. That's great. Because I don't like, because sometimes a day of disappointment will take away from a day of doing things, right? Because generally in the past. I have a day or at least like one big crying session, right?

I can look back now pre-medication and even on medication, whether there would be a breakdown day. And so I try to prevent that. That's great. Sounds like two of your big tools are prioritizing and being flexible. Yeah, being flexible. Yeah, for sure. But I also knew that I just needed to be around other people. So although it was really hard to get out of bed, the good thing is because it was like a smaller cabin, I was sharing a bed with one of my daughters.

So she gets out. If I was in there alone, well, she's grown up. So I could just be like, hey, have a good day. But it helped, right? It helped get out because she would say good morning and then I'd be like, okay. And it's a small cabin. So I would hear anything as well. I might as well engage. And so I said yes to a lot of things. Like I'm not a fisher girl, but I do like being on the boat. And that's what my brothers love. And if I want this connection with my brothers,

I'll do the things they love. So we had a great time and I'll put it somewhere on Instagram. Go follow. When this episode comes out, I'll go do the post. But I ended up catching the biggest fish on the trip. Let's preface this by saying we had downriggers, which means that you're not holding the rod. You see it go down, then you get it. My brother likes to watch everybody catch a fish. So he passed it to me and guided me how to get this fish in because it's a big process.

You were flexible. You did something that normally you wouldn't do. So that flexibility. Yeah. And I just normally I would probably just hand it off to him. But I was like, no, I don't want to catch this fish. And yeah, so I did things like that. I just kept it light until I was alone with people. I didn't talk about it all the time. And then I did.

Anyways, my thing was just like stay alive in this trip. And I tried to do some different things so that I had a few memories from this trip that wasn't always just like I was a hot mess. I just went to the trip. I don't remember anything. So I thought, what are some things so one I can focus on that I caught a fish? And then the second thing, I got this idea.

And you guys can laugh and you're probably gonna be like where is this going just go with me it's funny so I have this idea and I wanted to go for like like I don't like being cold so I only go in the water if it's warm but I had this idea that late at night my daughter and I I'm like are you in let's just jump in the water at midnight or something like but I was trying to say like it was something like risky and different and look at us we're being so but I accidentally said,

let's go on a naughty swim so it became the entire joke of the entire all I meant was like something different that people don't do right something a little outside the rules but we were wearing bathing suits it was not a naughty swim but it's like the thing now and so my daughter's always laughing my family memories it's a memory yeah and so we did we went down and we and then it was secretive too because there's a private dock beside it and I'm like they're sleeping these people aren't going

to care so we were also like on someone's dock and we jumped off or whatever so I had some of those like we did a wild thing so I tried to do like two or three things that would cover the like hours and hours and hours of crying right so those are some of the things that I did there was not a ton of planning that I could do there wasn't a time change or whatever so.

It doesn't really count but I did want it oh it counts and also she'll yeah I have the honor of being your friend outside of this podcast, which is my true privilege, but in the run-up to this, I really saw you. I don't want to say lower, I want to say be flexible with your expectations of yourself and what the trip would look and feel like. And I think that contributed to your success. Yeah, yeah. And I also gave myself permission.

It was a seven-hour drive, which is actually chill for me because my parents have like, that's 11. That's not a hard thing for me. But I said, I gave myself permission and I told my children, I said, if you, either of you, Or if we feel like it, the family will not be upset. I gave myself permission to turn around and leave at any time because if it was just too much or whatever, and I would never do that before. So those were the things I did for that trip.

And I am really, really glad I went. Like I decided like two weeks before, right? Yeah, I remember. I held it very loosely.

So yeah, that was that trip. and so I'm not going to try and tease out what was a bipolar symptom and what was because it's blanketed in grief and change and anger and all the stages so but yeah that was that camping trip but even though like I'll be able to hold on to the naughty not naughty swim and that I caught a fish and just being on the water I know I used to roll my eyes at it but like just nature right like just

being right in nature and it kind of if i was in like a true just bipolar depression and not like you know intense grief also changing scenery right i hadn't left my hopes much and so yeah. I'm really glad you went and had those positive times. And maybe what we'll do is you can make a reel of some of our photos from our trips as a follow-up from this episode drops. That could be fun, right?

Yeah, let's do it. So within, let's not say the day, because, you know, we like to give ourselves, within three days, when this episode was released. So if you watch it later, go look back. It's going to be released in November 2025. too fast go back and through our feed and look at our pictures because i know that'd be so much fun that'd be so much yeah you did a photo in kimonos right and i did that was so much fun too so.

These tips jilly that we've offered to everybody we want people to take them into what's coming next you just said it's currently november 2025 what's coming up next is the holiday season and And if I got this right, we are going to do an episode specifically on that, triggers for that and how to cope with that. But we also know that lots of people travel around the holidays.

So we hope that these last two episodes, you can take these tips and tricks and things that we learned from and put them into your own life if you're traveling this holiday season. Yeah. And if you're someone that might be like hypomanic thinking about a trip, just so you know, in the show notes, if you've never looked, I never read show notes before, but there are timestamps.

So if you're someone that's like, I don't listen to an hour long podcast, there's timestamps where you can get to certain subjects really quickly. So I'll make sure that some of the timestamps are right where certain strategies are because we're chatty. Maybe you just want to get to the strategy. Get to the beat of it. Yeah. We should probably say that at the start next time. Totally.

We'll put it on the list. Okay. One of the things that I wanted to tell you about this episode, sometimes some of us are hypomanic or we don't have the hour or however long. And I am chatty and I love Andrea. So we talk, one of the things that you can do is I put timestamps in the show notes. And what I'll do is make sure that there's some timestamps right where the strategies are. So you can go down, click it, and you can go right to the strategy.

If you're like, I'm going on a vacation tomorrow. I need to learn some things. So yeah, make sure you do that. Super helpful. Wait, are we wrapping up? I think so. I think it's been a while. Okay, do you want to do the transition for that? Then we'll say something. Well, I did the one talking about taking these tips into holidays. And I'll just say, like, what's... So tell us about the next episode and when we can hope to see it. Yeah, yeah. I just said a little bit of that, but yeah. Okay.

Yeah, thank you for bringing that up, Andrea. We are going to record an episode about holidays. Thank you for bringing that up, Andrea. We are going to record a holiday episode. So about, you know, there are extra feelings and extra things. And it's a prolonged kind of holiday for those that celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas or, you know, all of the holidays in between. Many, many, many cultures have holidays around this time of year. So it's a transcultural experience.

Yeah, yeah. And we hope, I just want to recognize that because my experience isn't everyone experiences, but I have like the, you know, the Thanksgiving and Christmas one. We already had Thanksgiving. So this is different too. In Canada, ours is in October. So there's a nice break in between. We don't get the hype, hype, hype, hype, hype, hype. We do Thanksgiving. Halloween? Christmas. You guys have such a... It's before Halloween. Oh, wild. Okay, sorry. Go ahead.

Yeah. And so we are going to record that because it brings a whole other set of things to have to plan for and prevent for those of us living with bipolar disorder. So watch that.

That will come out before American Thanksgiving. So I've got some editing work to do. So Andrea, we have not recorded in a while. And I'm just telling you, as you all know, I just mentioned I'm going through a new, a life blow up. And so this was really special to me to be able to be with you. And it actually reminded me of my very last tip before I ran out.

One of the things that I do when I'm on vacation, especially with different families or the way different function, I have my life set up here that really supports all of that. And I have friends that just get me and I have friends like you that. Can make me feel what I call it is normal. Like, because when I'm with a family that doesn't plan, I look like I am hyper controlling. Meanwhile, they're like so opposite that I'm not.

So I make sure that I have friends that I know will be available because sometimes it's holiday times that I can check in with. And I'm like, remind me that I'm not this. Remind me. Because also when you hang out with family, I fall into, fall into different patterns. And so that's one thing is have someone that knows you in your regular habitat or how you behave, you know, on somewhat average day to check in with.

That's one of my things. On vacation or during holidays, like we'll talk about next time. We'll talk about. But I just thought of that because you were one of those people. I didn't have Wi-Fi, but you were one of those people when I did that I checked in with. And so that is a big roundabout way of saying thank you. Oh, thank you. Yeah, you disappeared for a couple of days. It was weird. I didn't get to talk to you. I know. I know. It was wild.

But yeah, I'm just so happy to be here and be back and recording episodes with you. We have a bunch planned and you're in for a treat because, Andrea, like you already heard, she blew my mind in this episode again. So please go check out our holiday pictures that we're going to post about Japan and camping and come back for the next episode. So funny, you say holiday for vacation. I'm like, we haven't done the holiday episode yet. Sorry, I'm here. I'm translating for all of my friends.

Oh, yeah, yeah, vacation. Oh, you're going to say vacation holiday. No, that's a British thing, yeah. Interesting, that's interesting. Well, my friends, as always, I hope that your day is being kind to you and I hope that we can connect. Andrea and I are always available to talk. Sometimes it takes me a little bit longer to get back, but I read all your messages and I know Andrea does too. So we love you. We'll see you soon. Bye everybody. Thank you. This is bipolar.

Thanks again for tuning in. You can find video versions of This Is Bipolar on our YouTube channel. We also have all our previous episodes of the podcast on Apple, Podbean, Spotify, and Google Play. We spend most of our time on Instagram at this.is.bipolar. There is a vibrant community there where we have conversations and post different ideas and different strategies. and we'd just love for you to join us there.

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