Bipolar & Travel: Chaos, Coping, and Carry-Ons

Music. To conversations with. My name is Shaylee Huckendorn and I live with Bipolar 2 Disorder. Sharing with others is healing both individually and collectively. Sharing our stories will educate others, bring more understanding, shed more light and smash more stigma. Our voices need to be heard. Our stories aren't over yet. This is Bipolar. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to This is Bipolar. I am your host, Shaylee Huggendorn. I am a mom. I am a elementary school teacher.

I'm in bipolar fashion. I do a lot of other things like event planning and content coaching. creation. If you aren't already on there, go to at this.is.bipolar and you will find all the content there. If you are looking for a peer support group, I have one. You sign up for subscriptions and then I have private peer group chat. It's all on Instagram, right? Yeah, it's all on Instagram. Amazing. We meet on Zoom once a month and you just get to be with other people that understand you,

just get it. And I know that when I was first diagnosed, all I wanted to do is see a face or hear a voice. So please sign up there. And I'm really excited for the other side of the spicy redheaded once a month duo. Andrea, we have been recording together once a month for a while, and it's just been awesome having her as a co-host. And so I'm going to let her tell you who she is. Oh, thank you. I am delighted to be here. As always, so much fun with my bipolar bestie, Shaylee.

My name's Dr. Andrea Vasilev. I'm a doctor of psychology. I am a therapist here in California. I am a mental health advocate. I have lived with bipolar for almost 30 years. That's a long time. Yeah. Far and away the majority of my life. And yeah, I do all sorts of outreach, academic research, clinical advocacy work. This is my passion. These are my people. And Shailene and I are here for you.

Yes. Yes, we are. And we are here for you today in the summer talking about bipolar disorder and travel because I know many people are traveling right now if it is summer in their country or want to prepare for when you travel if it is when it is summer in your country. Exactly. Yeah, we want to talk about topics that will help you. That's our goal here. Yeah, and these are topics that help us too. By no means is this a podcast of we are experts in this.

We both live with the disorder and we are excited to share both our ups and downs and then things we can do about it. So I would love to just start with. Why travel is harder with bipolar disorder? I was having a conversation the other day with a follower on Instagram and they were saying, oh my goodness, I never put the connection together about my struggles with... Really? Yeah. And bipolar disorder, because a lot of people that are just diagnosed, I didn't think about that until later.

So I hope it comforts you if you're someone that struggles with this.

You could be struggling with it for so long that you just presume it's you right yes i talk about this in my upcoming book shameless plug which comes out next year it's due soon so it's on my mind don't worry you'll hear more about it but i do talk about this where if something has been going on for you something in your life a way that you are for so long that you don't realize it's due to bipolar you just think it's you so some of the

struggles you may have faced with travel may actually be down to bipolar and it's not just you Yeah. That is hugely comforting to me because that is exactly how I felt.

And it is a self-stigma, which Andrea is an expert in, that I carry, that I'm not a good traveler or I'm difficult to travel with. So let's get into why it's hard to travel with bipolar disorder. Did you want to tell us a few things that you know about that? So, yeah, there are a lot of reasons. I think the primary one, the science would say the primary one is that bipolar is in many ways a dysfunction of the body's central circadian clock.

That's why Shaley had Dr. Holly Swartz on talking about social rhythms. I talk about this all the time. If you've ever listened to me talk, probably heard me talk about social rhythms.

But think about what travel does to your body clock there's two things if you are going more than one or two time zones you have to deal with the time change that is very hard for a body that already has a central clock that's like a little wonky right it's not or steady right as other people's right and that's totally fine but that makes traveling across time zones really hard we'll get to later what you

can do about that the other thing is related to social rhythms is that All of your routines. Are in jeopardy, right? So you travel. The idea is to be someplace new, to be doing new things, to be doing different things. But those things are probably happening on a different schedule than your brain and your body are used to, right? So the things you do in your day cue your brain to what time it is, which helps stabilize your mood. And if you were doing all those things at a different time, right?

Let's say usually breakfast at seven, then you're in Spain and you're having breakfast at nine and your body actually thinks it's 8 p.m. What's happening? That's really hard. Yeah. Yeah. And it's interesting because I know that there's some people that do not live with bipolar disorder or a mental illness. They're like, oh, yeah, I feel like that, too.

And I think I always like to just reiterate how it's so much more amplified with someone that lives in a body and it has a brain that has bipolar disorder.

And so it's, I think that's why people, like you said, often think it's them because other people experience it without problems. And then we have problems. So someone without a bipolar brain experiences jet lag, they may be tired, they may be cranky, they may have stomach issues. Someone with bipolar travels across time zones, they might experience those things. And also So, symptoms of mania or depression. It's interesting to know that if you're traveling west, you are more likely

to experience depression. And if you're traveling east, you're more likely to experience elevation. Really? Mm-hmm. Wow. That is so interesting. I learned something new. But even if you're not doing time zones, tell me, Shaylee, what are other reasons? Even going to my hometown, it's in the same province, same time zone, but it's travel, it's different beds, all of those things. It can be overstimulating and either two things happen is that I over plan or under plan, right?

It's hard to find that middle ground that's going to help your body clock and your emotions. I didn't realize I get really, really overstimulated by different things. That leads to me having a really hard time making choices and trying to make the best choice. I want to make the best of my time. I annoy the people around me and then I get more stressed because I feel like I'm being annoying. So all of that leads back to the overstimulation, and then I struggle with overspending.

But with that, it's almost like I think I can't hold the memory in my head, so I need to have a memory of the place. Like that with photos? Yeah, yeah, right? Photos and everything. And food, and just all the things, and just any idea of a budget. Like, I get irritable, so... Both of those things make sense. One, the overstimulating. I think that can even start with the travel. Airports are overstimulating. And vacation is exciting. We want to let your hair down, right?

So you go to the airport, you're already excited. It's sensory overstimulation. Then you get to the new place. Everything's fun and wonderful. And that's great. And that vacation high is how it's supposed to be. But if there's not a guardrail or you're not taking care of yourself, it can escalate. And that's where we run into problems. So, Shaylee, like you said, a lot of people will overspend as a symptom of bipolar elevation. And I feel like that's even easier to do on vacation because,

of course, you're on vacation. I want to buy this cute dress. So I remember my vacation. But do you want to buy 10 of those dresses? Where's the line? And a magnet. And a painting. Yeah. Yeah, even beforehand, for me, thinking about the trip and getting excited about the trip and buying stuff for the trip and all that excitement and or anxiety about it. So for me, it starts even before the travel has even begun, for sure.

Something else that I think people encounter when they travel is substance use. So you go, again, I don't know why I keep talking about Spain. Maybe I want to go to Spain. But you're in Spain having a post-siester or whatever. You want to have a glass of wine and you think, this is great.

I want to do culturally what people are doing it's vacation everybody else is drinking and normally you don't drink now we're gonna maybe trigger symptoms from drinking more than usual that can trigger symptoms for a number of months and like i said people want to let their hair down on vacation metaphorically. But it can escalate, right? People with bipolar maybe don't have as good impulse control to start with.

Exactly. So when we are put in a situation where there's a lot of temptation, a lot of things that sound fun and exciting, it can be very hard to resist. There's even something to be said for impulsive travel, right? So, for example, I used to be an English language teacher and I taught in different places across the world. So traveling wasn't the plan, but it got to be winter where I was living in the very cold and dark Northeast.

And I said, I don't want to be here for this. I'm going to Brazil. Okay. A place I didn't know anybody, didn't speak the language. I did learn the language.

And that set off a manic episode that, yeah. Didn't go well? If there's ever a place to experience mania, it is carnival in Brazil. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. I also, we're bouncing back and forth with our stories and why travel is hard. And I was thinking about just because I've just had such a gamut of experience with travel and what I'm now reflecting on as a triggered bipolar symptom.

And one of the ones is also not only the mania, it can trigger depression because you're tired, you have anxiety. And all of a sudden, you know, you start getting those negative thoughts of depression or people don't want to be around me. And you just want to hide out in your hotel. And then you judge yourself for hiding out in the hotel.

And so it can bring up that. And I think my quick thing with that that I just reflected on when we were talking about doing this episode is that pre-medication, pre-treatment, pre-diagnosis, there was times when I went with my family somewhere.

Especially as an adult like traveling with my family which was so exciting we're going back to a province that we always went to that my parents are from but in my family I'm the planner I'm the one that worries about things and I'm the only one so I feel for lack of a better word like. Crazy with them and even more so because they're so opposite of me so even when I'm trying not to I'm looked at controlling or this. Meanwhile, they're like fly of the seat of their pants.

So then literally, I think almost everyone, no fault of anybody, right? Now I'm really realizing it was bipolar disorder, is there was at least one day or half a day that I would end up in a room like hysterical, feeling misunderstood. Just wanting to be able to be like them, but also feeling like ripped off because when you don't make plans, we don't get to do everything we want to do. And then I would just judge myself that I've ruined everything,

everyone's worried about me, and it would just spiral. And I didn't think that as triggering depressive symptoms because. When bipolar symptoms get worse, other mental health symptoms like anxiety or OCD or anything else can get worse as well. Yeah, for sure. So I also had a bad experience with depression. I moved after I graduated college and moved to Paris to teach English. And I was there for almost a year. But Paris is quite a ways further north than the U.S.

So when i got there i had gone off of my medication my senior year of college with doctors i don't want to say blessing but i alerted her yeah because i wanted to whatever it happens to all of us anyway so i got to paris i was on no medication and it's so dark that by november which is when i usually have my seasonal pattern of depression i had bottomed out bottomed out it was horrible just full-on depressive claws in everything ruining my trip oh really terrible

and it's because of that that change in the lights i think it's really important to remember that the inverse is also true right can i talk about iceland for a second 100 talk about iceland so i work as a tangent this may interest people there's a an organization called the international Society for Bipolar Disorders. It's an academic organization that takes all the world's leading clinicians, researchers, etc. About bipolar, and their mission

is to improve the lives of people with bipolar. That's the mission. It's amazing. They also hugely value lived experience. I'm on the board of directors. It's a great place. They have an academic conference every year. So the first year I went was in Chicago. That was more or less okay. The next year, it was supposed to be in Iceland. In July. So in the summer, it's 23 hours of sunlight. Make a long story short, they did change the conference for a couple of reasons.

And I did mention to the board of directors, I think this is a terrible idea. I personally would not visit Iceland when there's 23 hours of sunlight because just like less sunlight can make people experience depression. I see a lot of people who experience mania in the summer, right? When there's more sunlight, I experienced some elevation even in Chicago because it's of where I live, right? It's that change that makes a difference.

I've had people say, oh, I want to go to Iceland or I want to go really far north in the summer. And I'm like, you may want to rethink that. That may not be the best time for you if that's a dramatic shift in the amount of sunlight you're going to get. Yeah, that's like here when you go to the Northwest Territories or Yukon or everyone has to black out things because it does not go down.

Yeah, that's interesting. And then I thought of while you were saying that too, you also don't have your comfort items. So then you get depressed and then you don't have your like safe comfort items as well which with travel I try to bring some comfort items just in case and I know that there are people in my life are like you only have so much room in your suitcase why are you bringing like your little weighted sloth stuffy and I'm like because it will make the trip awesome that's

why yeah yeah Yeah. No judgment. Do what you can do. Do what you can do. Yeah. I did recently, I just went across a bunch of provinces and it was three hours difference. And it was a short trip. It wasn't until the day before that I felt like I regulated the day before I left. And so I had a great time. And because I have so many management skills and whatever, I was able to not get like completely engulfed in it. But I had to have a few go have a few old little cries.

And then I had to change some of the plans because I could tell that I was in like, I wanted to console myself with shopping. And so I was like, I was very proud of myself. We were supposed to go to a few places. And I was like, hey, can we go for a walk? Or can we do something that doesn't cost money instead? Because I, that's one of my unhealthy coping mechanisms. So good for you. So insight, super important, flexibility, really good tool to have in your back pocket.

What are some other things you did on this trip to make the traveling itself easier? So I did try, not totally successfully, because this is like you in the summer. I have more a tendency to lean more towards hypomania, but I tried to switch my sleep slowly. Okay. It is ahead, so I was trying to just move a little bit away. A different way, right? So I was trying to get up earlier and getting that one hour, I think, helped.

So I don't know about listeners or about you. Sometimes I'm hard on myself. I make rules like, well, you should have gotten all the way back to, you know, the three hours or whatever. But now I know I'm trying to give my credit that even little steps help because sometimes you get overwhelmed. I have bipolar disorder. I can't travel.

And some when you're in some states, you probably, and I don't mean the United States, state of mind and body, it might be wise not to travel, but also every little thing helps. And so another thing I do is I want to make it the best ever. So I pack in, try and pack in everything, or I get decision paralysis where I can't figure out what the best thing is. So I go over and over and then not being able to do anything because I've wasted the hours trying to figure out the best thing to do. Right.

Yes. Planning downtime is important. And also, if I'm with a friend, I'm like, I'm not going to see them for a really long time. And so I want to be with them all the time. And then you need the downtime. I'm an extrovert. I have a hard time taking downtime on vacation. How about you?

I think you're right that downtime planning downtime is so important because it's very easy to get caught up in the moment planning that downtime in is so important because you get there and you want to see everything i think everyone experiences that the difference is we maybe have fewer inhibitions with bipolar so instead of saying this doesn't sound like a great idea we'll say this sounds like a fantastic idea and keep doing it the best

idea ever really so whether you're prone to elevation mania hypomania or you're prone to depression, you need downtime, right? You either need downtime to recharge your energy or you need downtime to bring that energy down. Yeah, and you need, like you said, you need to plan it because I always have good intentions. So telling my friend ahead of time, this is a trip because we're big shoppers together. This is a trip where I don't want to focus on that. Can you help me?

This is a trip where can we only do like one thing a day, big thing a day but the planning for it is I think is essential otherwise I just go with you lose hours you lose time for sure that's great yeah what are some of your other we'll get again to the turning your body clock whichever way you're going business and how to do that but we talked about planning downtime setting limits setting expectations anything else that you do kind of the physical experience easier.

So I think that I make sure physically because you're off your like eating schedule and a lot of times it ends up being like more sugar or. More things like that. I make sure that one, I pack supplements so that I end up getting enough greens, but also I try to think ahead and plan and have easy to pack and pick veggies and stuff and protein. Just because if I don't do that, I'm just going to grab or buy whatever is nearby. And it's way easier to grab a muffin than it is the healthier option.

And just lately, because of, you know, I know it's not a fad, but just because lots of people have become more aware that protein is important and I'm vegetarian. So I have been on the search. I've only found two that I like, but keeping, you know, purse snacks, which contain protein. So other things, if you're prone to experiencing elevation, noise-canceling headphones, or even earmuffs, right?

Earmuffs like the kind that people wear if they go to a shooting range or that firefighters wear, you can buy them on Amazon.

The public can purchase them and you can wear them right if sound is triggering to you i know for some people sound is is triggering sound can be elevating yeah and there's all kinds right there's kinds that just don't block everything out just you know right the loop earplugs i don't know if they sell them in canada but they're very popular here and they're cute they come in colors and they're very easy yeah and we're not sponsored by loop but if you're maybe we should

be maybe if If you're someone from Loop, tell them to contact me. Maybe we should send them this episode because I'm a big fan of their products. Same. Anyway. Okay. So, but the big one. Oh, yeah. Your meds. Definitely your meds. Don't forget your meds. Yeah. There's two that I was thinking of. The meds for sure. And the meds. What I do is I have, I pre-plan the Monday, Tuesday, and sometimes I have two just because it's hard to fill it up.

So for the two weeks, and then I also, because I'm very, I always think like you can buy almost anything to replace something you've forgotten, but not your meds and electrons. Always put your meds in your carry-on. Exactly. But what I do too as well, just in case something happens to my carry-on, it's because I'm like catastrophized person. I have some extra in my other one. So I've got it in both bags just in case anything happened to any bag.

Very cool. I love that. Just be aware if you're traveling internationally. There may be import export regulations around certain medications. You may have to bring them in the bottle. This year, the ISBD conference is in Japan. And actually there are some medications that are outlawed. There's one medication I can't take with me and I have to switch it. And even that I have to get an import certificate. It's like a whole thing.

So just be aware of where you're going. If there are certain drug regulations. Wow. I would have never thought of that. Me neither. Thank heavens. My doctor has a patient who spends half their year in Japan. So I was like, I'm going to Japan. He was like, we need to talk.

Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. I wanted to add one thing that just happened with my trip and it was another follower bipolar warrior subscriber that we meet up with told me it's available in Canada and I think it worked also in the state so you'd have to check but there is you can go to the customer service and you can get this lanyard and it's and it has sunflowers on it and it's for invisible illness and when she said I was

like oh I know like my friends that have children that live with autism get that or other things. I never thought about using it for mental illness. And, you know... The person I was traveling with also struggles. And so we went and got them and they don't ask questions or make you like show proof or whatever. Because chances are you're not going to go ask for one if you don't.

And we got to, I'm always scared of boarding and wear my bag and if I'm going to be able to lift my, and we got to board quickly. And some people just asked. It was so wonderful for some people to just ask if extra asking if we were okay. because I always feel like I don't deserve that because it's not. Do you know what I mean? I'm so glad you got that. Are you sure that I'm not the friend who told you about this? Because that's what I have when I went to Toronto. You don't know.

You didn't say I'm glad. Really? Okay. So I have a sensory processing problem. I have a vision problem. So I got one of these. They're called sunflower lanyards. You can buy them online. And there's a list on the sunflower lanyard website of which airports recognize it. Oh, awesome. Of course, a lot of them don't, especially in the States. Some of them do. And I went up to the people like at the airports and it said

it was recognized. And they were like, I was like, do you know what this is? I'm just checking. Yes. Do you need anything? The best though was in Toronto. I spoke in Toronto. At the security gate, it's actually, there's a picture of it and you can go through the quick security line, which for me is really important because the sound and the vision comes overwhelming and I get migraine, I get nauseous, whatever.

So of course Canada is like light years ahead of us but it is a thing just make sure to check that the airport that you're flying through is like on that list and that list is expanding every day so that's good in Europe it's also a really big thing yeah and don't I stress that it was gonna they were gonna point me out or I was gonna every time I was gonna be like oh it's bipolar I know you can't see right but nobody asked a single question yeah that was

beautiful that really helped me out and really, yeah, it really also validated, helped me take a deep breath. Okay, if I have a little bit extra trouble, there is.

Some help there yeah yeah they were super nice to highly recommend the people in toronto airport anyways so the big one is your body clock yes what can we do about this so there is actually.

A way to shift your body clock in advance of traveling so that when you get there the difference is not as extreme there's a website that will help you come up with this protocol it's jetlagrooster.com so j-e-t-l-a-g-r-o-o-s-t-e-r.com yep and i'll tell you no notes yeah you can put in where you're going to when you're where you're going to when you're leaving etc there's one small limit so like i said we're going to japan this year for isbd and that's 13 hours ahead so it's also

only eight hours behind or something math is hard no that that does not add up to a day it's like 16 hours ahead eight hours behind something like that so i put in that i was going ahead 16 hours and they tried to have me adjust that way whereas i only need to adjust backwards eight hours but if you get the protocol from the website you can alter it accordingly by protocol i mean It has you shift when you go to sleep, and by extension,

all of your other daytime social rhythms by an hour each day, right? So when I went to Iceland, we did, sidebar, we did something interesting. We flew from California to Boston, stayed overnight in Boston, and then flew from Boston to Iceland the next day because I didn't want to take an overnight flight. By the time I got to Iceland, I was exhausted and angry because it was cold, but I was not jet-lagged.

Wow. So what I did for about, I was going to Boston first about the first three or four days before my trip, I moved everything forward an hour, right? So whatever time it was on the East Coast or one hour. So if I go to bed normally at 10, I would go to bed. Oh my gosh, I don't want to mess this up and confuse everybody. This is why they made a website. Yes. Go to the website. I would go to bed at 11 instead and so on and so forth to turn my clock forward.

And I made a whole list because I did not trust myself to figure it out every day. I was like, day one, breakfast, lunch, dinner, exercise, bed. My daily social rhythm goalposts. And I kept to those, right? And I shifted them an hour each day. So it's weird because it puts you out of sync with the world that you're in, but it's very helpful.

And what can help even more is, especially at night, if you're trying to go to bed earlier, are these amber lenses that Shailene and I have talked about a lot, right so we want to do let's say you want to go to bed earlier you're shifting your clock to go to bed earlier you need to cue your body that it's earlier so you put on these amber lenses that block the production that blocks certain wavelengths of life light

that block the production of melatonin things like that so this website is pretty cool i don't make medical recommendations but if you use melatonin to also turn your clock ask your medical doctor your prescriber about that.

There's a an option on this website to check off use melatonin and even if you're not using melatonin you can check that off and it'll tell you when to start wearing the glasses oh okay yeah because i'm i know it works for a lot of people i i get and a lot of my family we get um horrible nightmares from melatonin but and i don't i'm always curious if that is but no because people in my family that don't live with bipolar disorder also experience it but like Like Andrea said,

you can check with your doctor and use it. I know so many people it uses it for. There's even, yeah, there's even, I take, when I travel, my doctor gives me a prescription that is basically like a super melatonin producer and I take it throughout the trip. It's basically a sleep med and I take it throughout the trip two hours before bed and it tells my body now is bedtime.

And not only does that help me get sleep because bipolar is this dysregulation and circadian rhythms and your body clock, it helps keep that in place. Yeah, but like Andrea said, we don't make any med recommendation. We're not professionals about that. And also, this is totally a side note, but check. I think some people think because it's natural that all substances, but there's actually some that negatively affect us. So that's my little disclaimer there.

Yeah, and as I like to say, I'm not that kind of doctor. Yes, and I'm not a doctor at all. So... Another resource for this turning your body clock, forwards or backwards where you're going, is by Dr. Chris Aiken, really big bipolar specialist. He's got a website that talks about this that might be really helpful. Can we link that somewhere, Shaylee? Absolutely. Show notes. Yeah. Check it out. Check those things out. Knowledge is power, right?

I know that for a lot of years I didn't read anything or do anything because it took me a long time to accept it. And, yeah, if you're newly diagnosed or have been diagnosed for a really long time, knowledge is power. Exactly. So, when you went to Europe, did you fly overnight? Yep. But I did well. I did. I was afraid to take my nighttime medicine because it conks me out. And I was like, what if I have to get off? But I was like, no, I have my husband and my kids. And so I took my medicine

as soon as we got on the long flight and I slept as if it was the time, my time. Exactly. And so I didn't do it like I probably could have really used some help with websites and such, but I did the best that I could. And then, yeah, I struggled more on the, a lot of times I struggle more on the, when I get back.

Yes coming west is harder which I didn't know that and even coming back from Ontario and I didn't understand when we went to Europe what jet lag was but I just felt like floaty and I felt like that whole I'm here but I'm not here for a very long time wow yeah that's awful I'm so sorry you mentioned a really good point that I can't believe we forgot is when if you are shifting your body clock in advance shift when you take your meds that's your markers of the day right yeah.

Yeah, it's really tough. And like I said, there are some places that I won't go because they're just too far. Japan, I'm really actually quite nervous about Japan. Luckily, we found a low cost airline where you can get a lie flat seat. It's not business class. It's basically a low cost airline and they just have business classes.

Wow yeah yeah so it's called zip air if anybody's going to japan yeah so that will help but if i had to sit up and i couldn't sleep i don't i think i would decline to go to someplace and honestly that's okay going to india is my dream i'm pretty sure i'm never going to get to india yeah yeah it's hard it's i i just want to empathize like for us with us and others that.

Yeah like we talk about the tips and tricks and things like that but i also want to hold space for that it's really hard and honestly it's unfair and we're allowed to you can't stay in that but i think that giving permission to feel that way because i shoved down my permission to i judge my feelings a lot thank goodness i have bipolar bestie andrea to help me with that but i think it's good too because having people around you be aware i think that a lot of

loved ones possibly could have been more patient with me or understand me more if i could explain things so if you have loved ones that you hope that will understand these difficulties i hope maybe you could if it's hard to talk about maybe you could send them this episode consider that exactly because it's we have so much more success when we have support from the people around us especially if you're traveling with those people,

They need to know what's going on. They need to maybe not pressure you to go out every night and drink. Like they need to respect. If you can respect your boundaries, they can respect your boundaries. Yeah. And also remind them because I can make those and then they fly out the window, especially with hypomania. Right. You're just like, what? Why would I? And so even though you might be frustrated with them, for people to gently remind you as well.

One of the things too that gives me hope is that I try to remember who I am outside of bipolar disorder. So I have people like Andrea, I have group chat with friends like that just get it or get me and accept it fully and try to understand, especially with when I'm with people that they're not what they're well-meaning people and I love them. But it's just so far out there for them to understand that checking back in,

because it helps me to be like, hear people, that's not your fault. You are not that. That is your illness. Because I can get one of my core wounds is feeling misunderstood. And so I will spend half the trip trying to explain why I'm being the way I am and that doesn't help me for my trip. So just checking in and knowing there are people rooting me on and just understanding because you can't, you know, you can't be around people that understand, you can't force people to understand.

So having that connection to remind me of who I am. another reason to join subscriptions so you can check in with more bipolar besties yeah do you have any trips that you're looking forward to that are coming up.

I am I'm going on a camping trip which sounds easy and like it's not yeah okay I camp all the time but it does change a lot of your rhythms but I'm really looking forward to it it's an annual trip that we get all my brothers my mom my dad together and just it's really really fun But again, I need to be aware of all the things because when you're with people that you only don't hang out with every day or every week, I just want to be with them all the time.

And I just want this one's going fishing, but this one's going, oh, what am I going to do? And so you're stimulating. This is a great reminder. And also, I wanted to let people know that there is going to be like a PDF toolkit that has to do with, that lists a lot of the things that we talked about here. And mostly, I made it for myself for this upcoming camping trip. But if you sign up for my website, you can get that free PDF and print it and it's got it.

And I wanted to let everybody know that I made a PDF that is a checklist and also mentions the things that we should be aware about and even has some places for you to write in. I made it for myself and then I just wanted to share. So if you go to my website, www.thisisbipolar.com and sign up for the newsletter, that you will have access to this PDF. Amazing. Yes. And P.S. I don't send out very many newsletters. So your inbox will not be full of things.

You just want to get access to this toolkit. I hope it helps. Awesome. What's the website? www.thisisbipolar.com. And so type it, you have to type it in. That's that. Yes. Yes. Yes. And the logo it for sure. But yeah, I am looking forward to that. But otherwise, I just went to Ottawa, so I don't have any big trips, but going to Europe and feeling confident that I did it makes me want to travel the world a bit more. How about you? We've heard a lot about Japan, but do you have any other trips?

To be honest, I'm nervous about Japan. I'll be totally honest. I'm nervous about Japan. I'm nervous about the time change. I'm nervous about a couple of other things, but the conference is really meaningful. Like I said, they do so much lived experience involvement, and I'm involved. I'm in charge of a lot of that involvement, so that's really rewarding. So I'm going to try and transcend the fear for the sake of the excitement and the reward that will come at the conference.

Iceland was a success, I would say, because I was so regulated in the lead up to it in terms of changing my body clock and splitting up the flight so I didn't have to fly overnight. That was really great. I don't have any other ships coming up, just the Japan one. Yeah, maybe she'll come to Vancouver. It could not be in the summer, though, because it would be too much light for me because it's a lot more light than we get here. Really? It's because it's so far north.

Interesting. I always think because you live in California, I always think like it's sunny there. Why can't you go places? It's almost the same amount of sunny all the time. And it's like I have friends with bipolar who live in Iceland and they are basically OK, right, because they're used to it. I am. I'm not used to all of a sudden having a ton more sunlight. Yeah. And I thought that was really interesting that you said. And elevation matters, too. I had someone that lived.

Oh, I'm going to mess it up. Is it Colorado or something? Yeah, so there was a lot of the elevation and she had a huge episode and her doctor was like, oh, oops, by the way, it's really hard for people with bipolar to adjust to that. So she had to adjust her meds. And in fact, I think, among other reasons, I think she moved back. But yeah, it was extreme for her and I didn't know that elevation was a thing too. So look into that. Yeah, got to ask around if you're planning a way, a trip. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I just feel, I feel encouraged by this episode. I know that we talked a lot about hard things and we talked a lot about limitations, but I also would like, as much as we're holding space for all of that, I also would like to encourage people because I wasn't sure that I could do the things and not.

That I needed to do. And looking back, Andrea is more of your model in this because I am just starting to implement these kinds of things because I just always convince myself I'll be fine. But I just want to encourage people that it is possible. Yeah. And it's just planning and that may be frustrating and annoying and you might feel bitter that you have to plan more than someone else. And you're allowed to feel bitter. But here's the thing about limits.

I always say, if you know your limits, they are there to protect you so you can live your best life inside of those limits. And that's okay because the life inside of those limits can still be amazing. Yes. I love that. I love that so much. Best life. Like her Instagram, go follow her. Not a coincidence. I didn't even plan that. That was awesome. So yeah, there is a few things that I want to try next time. I'm excited about that website.

Is there anything that you haven't implemented that you would like to start? I think maybe your Japan thing about changing the meds, that would be one thing you've never done before or not. Changing the meds? Well, how the one that's not allowed, how you have to make some adjustments. Yeah. So I did give it a trial run since I had to change meds. Yeah. That was smart. Yeah. Because I tried, I trial ran one and it didn't go real well, so I tried another one.

But anyway, yeah, Japan will be an interesting experience. I'll put stuff in my stories while I'm there about the conference. Awesome. Amazing. So yeah, I believe that you can do hard things too, and that the more we know about our disorder, the more we can do those hard things. And so I hope this was an encouragement. I hope that it gave you some information, and we would love- in self-compassion. Yes, go forward in self-compassion. And we would love to hear on Instagram or

you can email me your experiences because I would love to hear that. So go to the Instagram. I'll ask questions about it because I know that our community has even more good advice and also the stories. So thank you, Andrea. Thank you for always teaching me and reminding me to be compassionate with myself yes thank you my dear and thank you to all of your listeners out there yes please come back this is bipolar.

Thanks again for tuning in. You can find video versions of This Is Bipolar on our YouTube channel. We also have all our previous episodes of the podcast on Apple, Podbean, Spotify, and Google Play. We spend most of our time on Instagram at this.is.bipolar. There is a vibrant community there where we have conversations and post different ideas and different strategies and we'd just love for you to join us there.

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