“The best way I can explain how it feels to not be believed is just profound loneliness…To not know where to turn to seek advice or to get a hug, I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Matt Volla Episode Summary: After her parents’ divorce a girl’s relationship with her mother tailspins until a shocking accusation throws everything into chaos. Website for Matt Volla: www.mattvolla.com Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappening Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Wond...
Oct 05, 2021•51 min•Season 11Ep. 206
Producers : Whit Missildine Episode Summary : Whit Missildine, host of This Is Actually Happening and The Long Shadow , and Dan Taberski, host of Missing Richard Simmons and 9/12 , discuss 9/11 and their approaches to their respective series honoring the tragedy. Today, as part of our series, The Long Shadow , honoring the 20th anniversary of September 11th, we bring you an interview between me and Dan Taberski. Dan is the host of the podcast Missing Richard Simmons, Running from Cops , and, mos...
Sep 30, 2021•40 min
“The surrealism of the experience just it was hard to fathom…here we were in a clothing store being asked to do these sort of impossible thing.” Producers: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: In the aftermath of September 11th, 2001 a cardiologist volunteers to help process the body parts from those who lost their lives in a temporary morgue inside a Brooks Brothers department store. Today’s episode featured Sandeep Jauhar. Sandeep has written three books. His first book, "Intern: A Doctor's Initia...
Sep 28, 2021•49 min•Season 11Ep. 205
“You try not to think about the fact that you really think you’re going to die here…that it’s totally out of control.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: On September 11th, 2001, the first female firefighter in the New York City Fire Department confronts the impossible tasks of that day and the skewed narratives that followed. Today's episode featured Captain (ret.) Brenda Berkman. Since her retirement from the New York City Fire Department in 2006, Brenda serves as a volu...
Sep 21, 2021•50 min•Season 11Ep. 204
“It’s not like there was time to ponder your fate…you just thought, we’re powerless to get out of the building….This is it.” Producers: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: A Port Authority employee narrowly escapes from the 68th floor after a plane hits the World Trade Center on September 11th, 2001, but the most devastating impact comes from the psychological wounds that haunt her life for decades after. Today's episode featured Kayla Bergeron. In addition to serving as chief of public and governm...
Sep 14, 2021•51 min•Season 11Ep. 203
“The world looks like it’s coming to an end, and another cloud comes over…Everything goes dark, and the world is covered in dust.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: On September 11th, 2001 an ER Doctor finds himself in charge of the closest emergency room to the Twin Towers. Today's episode featured Tony Dajer. Tony was born in New York City, grew up in Puerto Rico, and has been practicing as an ER Doctor in New York for 30 years. You can read one of Tony's articles calle...
Sep 07, 2021•52 min•Season 11Ep. 202
“There’s really no way to explain how it feels when you realize one decision you made in an instant altered the life of everyone around you.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: A woman who finally finds her sense of purpose after a tumultuous upbringing realizes a mother’s ultimate horror. Website for Andrew Waits: http://andrdewwaits.com/ Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappening Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to ep...
Aug 31, 2021•50 min•Season 11Ep. 201
“All the reality that I had been putting off, and all of the denial, it all crashed in on me.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock Episode Summary: Growing up in the closet with a mentally ill mother, a man finds his true love, but as their past continues to weigh in, the only remedy he knows threatens to consume everything he’s built. Today's episode featured Gabriel. Gabriel is now a psychiatric social worker and licensed therapist in Orange County, California. You can find out more abou...
Aug 24, 2021•58 min•Season 11Ep. 200
“I was too ashamed to reach out and say, ‘Look, I don’t understand what’s happening, I think I’m going crazy…please help me.’” Producers: Whit Missildine, Matt Volla Episode Summary: Following early experiences of isolation and bullying, a man assigned female at birth finds a beautiful friendship, that soon descends into a bewildering cycle of gaslighting and obsession. Today's episode featured Vel Ryder. You can find out more about Vel on Twitter and Instagram @whiskeyandspite. Website for Matt...
Aug 17, 2021•52 min•Season 11Ep. 199
“When I knew I was dying, I knew that I wasn’t going to have the anxiety or the OCD brain, it was just going to be over.” Producers: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: A woman with severe harm OCD encounters the many faces of death and dying but finds renewal in caring for others and ultimately herself Today's episode featured Rachel. You can find out more about her on Facebook at fb.com/RachelHillestad . Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappening Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Wondery ...
Aug 10, 2021•53 min•Season 11Ep. 198
“That’s me, and I’m dead. But if that’s me, then who am I?” Producers: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: After surviving a brutal upbringing in the South Bronx, a man finds himself on the other side of death following a minor accident and returns with a profound awakening. Today's episode featured Jose Hernandez. You can find out more about Jose and the work he is doing at: https://innerimmersion.org where you can sign up to join the community and participate in the free Monthly conversations, "E...
Aug 03, 2021•1 hr 6 min•Season 11Ep. 197
"No one can even understand. You can't measure the magnitude of that pain. You can't measure the pain that we went through." Producer: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: A refugee recounts her experience of the horror and devastation of the Rwandan genocide. This episode is part of the Summer 2021 rebroadcast series, featuring listener favorites from the back catalogue. All episodes in this rebroadcast series were released prior to episode #130, which are currently exclusive to the Wondery Plus. T...
Jul 27, 2021•51 min
"The hardest part is that I still don't have any answers...what came into my house that night?" Producer: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: A musician is sideswiped by a sudden break into a nightmarish world that will not let him go This episode is part of the Summer 2021 rebroadcast series, featuring listener favorites from the back catalogue. All episodes in this rebroadcast series were released prior to episode #130, which are currently exclusive to the Wondery Plus. Today’s episode originally...
Jul 20, 2021•48 min
“It was just full chills over my body, tears in my eyes, it was that moment of I don’t know, I don’t understand, I don’t know.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock Episode Summary: A woman who seeks awakening through myriad healing practices finds her ultimate challenge when she goes missing in a Maui forest. Today's episode featured Dr. Amanda Eller. You can find out more about Amanda by going to AmandaEllerPT.com. You can also find her on Instagram: @amandaeeller And on Facebook: @amanda...
Jun 22, 2021•1 hr 7 min•Season 10Ep. 196
“The not knowing is awful, and it’s awful from day one and it’s awful thirty years later, but every day that goes by you get more and more in reality.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock Episode Summary: Decades after her brother disappeared in the early 1980s, a woman becomes deeply involved in the search for a missing friend. Today’s episode featured Sarah Haynes. Somebody out there knows something about her brother Jon Haynes, who went missing in Boulder July 1981 just days after arriv...
Jun 15, 2021•56 min•Season 10Ep. 195
“It planted a seed in my mind that has never ever gone away even now that people might not be who they say they are.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: A woman is haunted by a relentless threat of danger when her pursuit of safety turns into obsession. Today’s episode featured Hannah. Hannah is a writer living in California. If you’d like to reach out, you can email her at hannahwrites08@gmail.com Website for Andrew Waits: http://andrdewwaits.com/ Social Media: Instagram:...
Jun 08, 2021•58 min•Season 10Ep. 194
“I felt like I was sort of drifting along as something besides human, like I had stepped onto another planet inside my head.” Producers: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: A man haunted by an early childhood trauma finally establishes his own identity only to be sideswiped by another unwanted, shocking exposure. This episode featured Michael McAllister. He's a writer working on a book-length memoir, and you can find out more about him at his blog, dogpoet.com , or on Instagram at @dogpoetmike. Soc...
Jun 01, 2021•1 hr 3 min•Season 10Ep. 193
“You are in absolute darkness, and until you are in that kind of situation it’s hard to understand what darkness is.” Producers: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: A lifelong traveler heads out for a quick bike ride in the Swiss Alps and finds herself lost in a dark, icy unknown. Today's episode featured Ava Chisling. Ava is a media lawyer and writer from Montreal. You can find out more about her on her website, avachisling.com . Waiting for herd immunity before she can travel again, Ava is hard a...
May 25, 2021•45 min•Season 10Ep. 192
“The person who was pulling was just stronger than the person who wanted a perfect life.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: Growing up with a close, religious family a young woman’s aspiration for perfect beauty turns her into the very image of herself she was afraid of. Today’s episode featured Caroline. To learn more about Trichotillomania, go to www.bfrb.org . There you can find additional information about Trichotillomania and other body-focused repetitive behaviors, ...
May 18, 2021•35 min•Season 10Ep. 191
“I was really lost and I was so incredibly desperate for someone to love me…and to fill the void that had kind of been opened in me .” Producers: Whit Missildine, Matt Volla Episode Summary: Following an early childhood trauma, a woman seeks to fill the void with a series of unhealthy relationships, until a fairytale romance promises to be everything she ever wanted Today's guest prefers to remain anonymous, but if you'd like to reach out to her directly, you can email at HerSavePoint@gmail.com ...
May 11, 2021•45 min•Season 10Ep. 190
“That feeling that you get when you find out an important piece of information, that ‘aha moment’ was happening constantly. I felt as if somebody put my brain into a microwave.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: Growing up in a home of abandonment and neglect, a teenager finds a grand, new reality in the rabbit hole of addiction until they can no longer find their way back. Today’s guest prefers to remain anonymous, but if you’d like to reach out to them, you can email at...
May 04, 2021•47 min•Season 10Ep. 189
“I was just left fighting this invisible thing inside me, the root of which I didn’t know.” Producers: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: A woman grows up with an idyllic childhood in Scotland, when a phobia of mysterious origin begins consuming her thoughts and eventually her future Today’s episode featured Rachel. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappening Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are part of the Wondery Plus premium s...
Apr 27, 2021•50 min•Season 10Ep. 188
“In horror movies there’s this beautiful moment for the protagonist where the monster’s real, everyone can see it…but a lot of times in real life, there isn’t a neatly wrapped up ending.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock Episode Summary: A young man growing up in an abusive home falls into a whirlwind romance that throws him into another cycle of chaos Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappening Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Jason Blalock: www.jasonblalock.com Won...
Apr 20, 2021•48 min•Season 10Ep. 187
“I cannot get over the fact that this actually happened. It felt strangely prophetic.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: Growing up with an unreliable mother, a woman develops severe OCD with multiple phobias, until she must confront the most improbable scenario Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappening Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Andrew Waits Website: andrdewwaits.com/ Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage w...
Apr 13, 2021•45 min•Season 10Ep. 186
“I was forced into being vulnerable, I was forced into being present, I was forced into existing suddenly with my lights turned on.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Sara Marinelli Episode Summary: Grappling with her identity and disruptive health anxiety, a woman reaches in adulthood with a dream job and strong community, when suddenly her worst-case scenario becomes a reality. Today's episode featured Natalia Provatas. Natalia is a Writer from Los Angeles. You can find out more about her on Instagr...
Apr 06, 2021•49 min•Season 10Ep. 185
“No matter how hard you fight against having no change in your life, it’s going to come anyway.” Producers: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: Growing up in an environment of constant change, a woman vows to find a different path to stability, only to have a shocking revelation turn her world upside down Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappening Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join...
Mar 30, 2021•52 min•Season 10Ep. 184
“If you could imagine having thoughts that frightened you, then other times they made you believe things about your perception or what you were seeing weren’t real or distorted…you would do anything to stop it.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Matt Volla Episode Summary: After making a successful career and surviving several tumultuous relationships, a woman descends into the darkest depths of severe mental illness Today’s episode featured Melissa. You can find out more about her on her website, ifn...
Mar 23, 2021•50 min•Season 10Ep. 183
“I close my eyes even to this day reliving it over and over in my head like, ‘Did that really happen?’ I wasn’t for sure that it was really real.” Producer: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: A mother struggles to raise her child through a series of chaotic relationships, when one day, as her daughter’s mental illness spirals out of control, an unthinkable decision will change their lives forever Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappening Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website...
Mar 16, 2021•46 min•Season 10Ep. 182
“I just kept saying ‘I don’t know, I’m sorry, I don’t know, it’s all my fault. I can’t believe I just did that,’… I’m in disbelief.” Producer: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: After a traumatic childhood, a young woman spirals into mental illness and in her darkest moment makes an unthinkable decision that will change her family forever Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappening Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com/ Support the Show: Supp...
Mar 09, 2021•56 min•Season 10Ep. 181
“Time just did not exist, the only thing that existed was decisions.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock Episode Summary: A young woman’s first trip to reconnect with her homeland in Ethiopia takes a terrifying turn as hijackers take over an otherwise routine flight Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappening Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Jason Blalock: www.jasonblalock.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with t...
Mar 02, 2021•39 min•Season 10Ep. 180
