"I know you probably think I'm a manipulative bitch for sleeping with two guys, but try looking at it this way: the sexual revolution is just like any other revolutionthere's gonna be casualties.” This week we're talking about a forgotten teen film from 2010, misunderstood at the time for its progressive themes and imperfect protagonist. Kat Dennings' Caroline Wexler is the anti-manic pixie dream girl, and a character often regulated to being a "bad influence." We discuss our own "bad girl" mome...
Jul 28, 2022•1 hr 10 min
"Who do you think you're fooling? You're so scared I can smell it. Your fear is the most predictable thing about you. You've lived your whole life in fear. Terrified of making a mistake, scared to death you won't get that A, that ticket out. Afraid you'll never escape your mother and her name tag. Or your father who won't return your calls.” Kevin Williamson is known for movies like SCREAM and THE FACULTY, but today we're giving him his flowers for his solo directorial feature, TEACHING MRS. TIN...
Jul 21, 2022•1 hr 19 min
"WE'RE GAY AND WE'RE PREGNANT!!!" If you're listening from America, you probably already know why we chose this week's show. We're here to talk about UNPREGNANT, an abortion road trip movie that tackles the severity of the lengths people are willing to go when they're denied abortion access, without ever feeling like a bad time. The world and the government are making us feel bad enough, we don't need a movie to make it even worse. This film was dropped on HBO Max during 2020 quarantine and went...
Jul 14, 2022•1 hr 19 min
"If you guys are so interested in my sexual failures, why don't you go have a few of your own?" Happy Summerween, Prom Party! As part of our TEEN MOVIE HELL series, this week we're joined by the director of THE WOLFMAN'S HAMMER and the trans-inclusive intersectional feminist vampire girl gang flick BIT to talk about the 80stastic gender-reversed TWILIGHT predecessor, ONCE BITTEN. Together, the trio figure out what makes Jim Carrey's leading feature performance so great, imagine what life would b...
Jul 07, 2022•1 hr 7 min
"Listen to your mother and don't marry anyone til you've slept with what, at least 10 people?" As Pride month comes to a close, we're talking about one of the best releases of the last five years, the bisexual Jewish dramedy, SHIVA BABY. The Wives are joined by pansexual Jewish writer, editor, and all-around magical human, Ariel Fisher. Ariel gives us a rundown on Jewish culture, BJ waxes poetic about the ways Jewish and Italian families are eerily similar, and Harmony desperately tries to make ...
Jun 30, 2022•1 hr 53 min
"From a deep, immaculate kiss, she spread her two ripe, dripping limbs and then I happened." We're continuing on with our Pride month celebration with the underseen coming-of-age Winona Ryder masterpiece, WELCOME HOME, ROXY CARMICHAEL. This week The Wives are joined by Dr. Ken Schneck, a brilliant mind and absolute die-hard fan of this film. We discuss being queer in Ohio, returning to your hometown, finding your sense of self, and the power of Melissa Etheridge music. -------- Become a Patron! ...
Jun 23, 2022•1 hr 35 min
"Are you kidding me? We conduct a nationwide manhunt for you and you're boning the suspect? Did you think this was a joke? "Let's divert federal resources and man-hours so I can have my collegiate lesbian fling in style." Pride month continues with another groundbreaking queer film, this time, the queer spy comedy that helped every queer girl in the 2000s with a Blockbuster membership card feel just a little more seen, D.E.B.S. We're discussing the adorable charm of Angela Robinson's seminal fil...
Jun 16, 2022•1 hr 13 min
"I've always felt a little different than everyone else. So I did what any outsider would do, made weird art." Happy Pride Month! Did you know that last year brought one of the most groundbreaking showcases of teenage queerness in a mainstream animated feature? That's right, we're talking about THE MITCHELLS VS. THE MACHINES. It's time to unpack all of our father/daughter trauma and make the difficult realization that parents are people too. All hail Katie Mitchell. We are not worthy. -------- A...
Jun 09, 2022•1 hr 22 min
"Are you joking? Do you guys like it here? Who the hell likes being stuck in a place where you can't even smile? It's hot as balls, everybody's an asshole. I just wanna go home." Harmony's birthday is just around the corner so The Wives Colangelo are discussing a movie that was pivotal to Harmony's coming of age experience. While WRISTCUTTERS: A LOVE STORY might not be specifically "teen girl" oriented, it's a movie that was really important to a lot of misunderstood teenagers in the late aughts...
Jun 02, 2022•1 hr 29 min
"Ma, it's changing out there! You'll like it. People who are different, their time is coming!” We're saying farewell to MAY-usical month with a double feature that's big and beautiful, John Waters' HAIRSPRAY from 1988 and the 2007 movie musical made of the broadway show it inspired. The Wives Colangelo are joined by Kate Hagen of The Black List to talk about fat representation, what the musical loses without John Waters' touch, a fantastical world where racism is solved simply by changing minds,...
May 26, 2022•1 hr 35 min
"Yeah, independent. I kiss who I want, when I want." It's BJ's birthday week so The Wives Colangelo are talking about one of her all time favorite movies, GREASE 2! In honor of the film's 40th anniversary, we're talking about what made GREASE 2 go from flop to cult favorite, and how the film succeeds where GREASE falls short. Harmony interviews BJ about her love of the film, but we aren't afraid to address the less-than-well-aged moments. Let's bowl, let's bowl, let's Rock-'n-Roll! Hey come on l...
May 19, 2022•1 hr 17 min
"When I was eight years old I told my dad that I wanted to take an acting class. He said, there are fifty billion people in this world, if one-tenth of 1% of them wanted to be actors, that would still be five million people. Do you really think you're prettier than five million people?" This week The Wives Colangelo are tackling the most musical theatre movie musical of movie musicals, the 2003 indie favorite CAMP. BJ has a great deal of fondness for this chaotic movie while Harmony, neither a t...
May 12, 2022•1 hr 26 min
"Can I betray the man who once inspired my voice? Do I become his prey? Do I have any choice?" We're kicking off MAY-usical Month 2.0 with a film everyone forgets is actually about a teen girl, because all of the men are in their 30s, THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (2004). Can BJ convince the notoriously anti-traditional musical Harmony to join the dark side and embrace Joel Schumacher's messy interpretation of Andrew Lloyd Webber? Will we ever figure out why Gerard Butler was allowed to play the titu...
May 05, 2022•1 hr 18 min
Julie Pierce: "I wish I had courage like you." Miyagi: I wish I had chocolate bar with almonds.” Long before angry, toxic, fanboys review bombed CAPTAIN MARVEL and GHOSTBUSTERS (2016) for the crime of being women-led films in a male dominated franchise, there was 1994's THE NEXT KARATE KID. The Wives Colangelo are joined by Elijah Taylor of the Kicking & Screaming podcast to talk about martial arts, zen bowling, and try to figure out if there's any reason other than misogyny for why this fil...
Apr 28, 2022•1 hr 39 min
“Hope, it is the only thing stronger than fear. A little hope is effective, a lot of hope is dangerous. A spark is fine, as long as it's contained." It's hard to believe that a full decade has passed since Jennifer Lawrence and her singular side braid shot an arrow through all of our hearts, but time has been oddly kind to the girl on fire, and we're going to talk about it. Why does this movie hit so much harder in 2022 than it did in 2012? Would it have been as well received if released any oth...
Apr 21, 2022•1 hr 36 min
“You ignored the Donald Miller geek for seventeen years, now you want to ride the Ronnie Miller express!” We're heading back to the 1980s and letting Patrick Dempsey buy our time, because this week is all about CAN'T BUY ME LOVE. Together the wives assess one of the earliest version of the teenage "bet" subgenre of romantic comedies, try to figure out what it is about popularity that turns everyone into huge jerks, and we even hear from our teenage nephew, Cash of the Why Did We Ever Meet? podca...
Apr 14, 2022•1 hr 28 min
"Honoring your parents sounds great but if you take it too far...well, you might forget to honor yourself." This week The Wives are heading back to the world of animation to talk about Pixar's latest masterpiece, TURNING RED. /Film editor and professional fangirl Hoai-Tran Bui joins to help make sense of why so many people were pearl-clutchingly angry over an animated teen girl film, reminisce about coming-of-age in the 2000s, what it means to love a boy band, the glory of watching anime, how it...
Apr 07, 2022•1 hr 37 min
TW/CW: Discussions of mental illness, intrusive thoughts, and suicide We're not talking about a movie this week, because quite honestly, we don't have it in us. The Wives sit down to have a candid discussion about living with mental illness, knowing when to set limits, and why "the show must go on" isn't always the best course of action. There's laughs, there's tears, and there's a lot of vulnerable honesty. We hope that this episode resonates with you, and if this is a week you need to skip, we...
Mar 31, 2022•1 hr 13 min
"I'm the Marcia F*cking Brady of the Upper East Side and sometimes, I wanna kill myself. So there's your psycho analysis, Dr. Freud." This week The Wives are joined by the incomparable host of American Hysteria, non-binary queer dreamboat Chelsey Weber-Smith. Together they all discuss the "naughtiest" teen film of 1999, explore the queer themes scattered throughout, and give their respects to one of the most unbelievably stacked casts in film history. Put away the rosary, it's time to talk about...
Mar 24, 2022•1 hr 45 min
"We'll always remember the trip. I wanna go back again next year with you. Something so amazing, magical. Something so beautiful. Feels as if the world is perfect. Like it's never gonna end." It's the most debaucherous time of the year, prom party, and we're going to analyze the heck out of it. Harmony Korine's SPRING BREAKERS is a wild time capsule of 2012, a look at an evolutionary step of "The American Dream," and the meta-casting of former Disney starlets pushed this indie art-house director...
Mar 17, 2022•1 hr 25 min
"I'm perfect but nobody in this sh*thole gets me, because I don't put out!" Sometimes the world feels absolutely impossible to deal with and the only cure is listening to teenage Diane Lane and Laura Dern try to burn it all down. This week we're going back to the 80s and talking about the peak of punk rock teenage girl rebellion, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE FABULOUS STAINS. We address how this is a film that couldn't be made today, the undeniable star-power of two of our leads, and the power and f...
Mar 10, 2022•1 hr 7 min
"This is the story of how my town, Salem, lost its motherf*cking mind. Now I understand that you may think I'm exaggerating, that I'm being hyperbolic, that there's no way an entire suburb could freak the f*ck out to the degree they'd want to kill four teenage girls...but I promise you, this is a hundred percent a true story." With season 2 of Euphoria in the rearview, we're diving into Sam Levinson's ASSASSINATION NATION, and having some of the most difficult conversations yet. It's time to sit...
Mar 03, 2022•1 hr 31 min
"He's throwing you against each other! As long as you're at each other's throats, he can control you. If you stopped thrashing around for one second, you'd see that you aren't any different from the preens." For this season's edition of TEEN MOVIE HELL, we're talking about the 1987 private school comedy, PRETTY SMART (1987). Don't let the poster, trailer, synopsis, or reviews fool you--this movie is unlike anything you'd expect. Together the Wives talk all about the wild, wild, west of teen chao...
Feb 24, 2022•1 hr 6 min
"That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time." This week The Wives Colangelo are joined by essayist and podcast...
Feb 17, 2022•1 hr 30 min
"About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him-and I didn't know how potent that part might be- that thirsted for my blood. and third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him." Love is in the air this valentine's day and what better way to celebrate than by dissecting one of the most maligned teen romance stories of all time, TWILIGHT. Harmony painfully sits through a movie she already knows she doesn't like, and BJ, who on...
Feb 10, 2022•1 hr 30 min
"She looks too pure to be pink." Our wonderful supporters on Patreon helped us reach our very first stretch goal, and as our thank-you, we're covering the one teen girl movie that BJ Colangelo struggles to be an apologist for, 1978's GREASE. In this whopping two-hour episode, The Wives Colangelo are joined by film critic Todd Gilchrist, an amazing human being and BJ's GREASE loving nemesis. Can Harmony stay neutral or will she be swayed by BJ or Todd? Give a listen to what may very well be the b...
Feb 03, 2022•2 hr 4 min
"Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself. Like this journey never ends. Like you were sent to me because I'm sick. To help me through all this. You're my angel." In honor of the film's 20th anniversary, The Wives Colangelo are busting out their Youth Group finest and talking about A WALK TO REMEMBER. In a rare turn of events, Harmony is a bit more kind to the film than BJ, but then again, y'all already know how she feels about cancer movies. Be our Only Hope, and enjoy! Article ...
Jan 27, 2022•1 hr 20 min
“Do I make you sad? I don't know. Sometimes I think that when I'm older, I'll have a daughter of my own or something... and I feel like if she was like me, then being her mom would make me sad all the time. I'd love her because she's my daughter, but I think if she turned out like me that being her mom would make me really sad." If you're like us, junior high was a f*cking nightmare and you couldn't pay us to go back to those years. Well, this week we're joined by the amazing Addison Peacock to ...
Jan 20, 2022•1 hr 44 min
“Don't you blame the movies. Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!” Wes Craven's SCREAM has been terrorizing audiences for over 25 years. With the fifth installment on the way, we want to revisit the ultimate teen slasher. BJ talks about her life-long fear of Ghostface, Harmony talks about how SCARY MOVIE has broken her brain, and together they discuss the brilliant subversion of Kevin Williamson's script. ---------- Become a Patron! www.patreon.com/thisendsatprom -----...
Jan 13, 2022•1 hr 18 min
Janey Briggs: "I read Sylvia Plath, I listen to 'Bikini Kill' and I eat Tofu. I am a unique rebel." Mitch Briggs: "It sounds more like you're a lesbo.” Now that Harmony has actually seen a huge chunk of the teen movie canon, it was her idea that we'd finally watch the movie that parodies them all, NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE. Together The Wives Colangelo discuss how this movie somehow aged better and worse than expected at the same time, the ineffectiveness of parody that hates its subject matter, an...
Jan 06, 2022•1 hr 8 min
