99. From Waiting by the Phone to Wandering in Paris

Like , how did you start that and start doing travel and tips and that sort of information for people in the second half of life ? Where did it ? Where did it come from ?

So , when the kids were leaving the nest , I'm like I kind of consider myself a seasoned empty nester . Now I have three out of the nest . It's been a while and I knew it was going to be hard , because I was someone who left law to spend time with my kids and really didn't go back for quite a long time because I was so busy with them .

So I kind of was anticipating that , oh , something is going to change and it's going to be hard . It's going to be really hard because the focus is your kids for so long . So I started a business some friends a wellness business .

I am a wellness coach too , but I just felt like there was still something more that I wanted to do and I went online and I was like I don't understand why our age group isn't represented here , because , you know , we are actually a missed opportunity and people who really aren't represented enough online .

And I also had heard at that time like a lot of people who were very depressed when they became empty nesters . And I thought , you know , I remember when it was first my time becoming an empty nester , one of my friends had called me , it was my birthday . And she said , she said , oh , you're going to be an empty nester , it's so great .

And I said what are you talking about ? Like , this is gonna be really hard , you know . And she said , no , it's great , you're gonna see , you're gonna be able to do so many things . And I thought , hung up the phone and I thought , okay , I don't , she's crazy , I don't know what she's talking about .

But little by little , I thought , yeah , you know , this is supposed to be a time where we're supposed to be doing things for ourselves . And so , little by little , that's what I started to think of what , what would be good ? And we , we , we can't be , we're not our parents' generation . I thought , you know , they make us feel , so , you know , guilty .

I think , sometimes for doing things for ourselves , they're the ones who worked hard , saved , and it was all for retirement . You didn't do anything until then you know , just save , save , and then retirement comes , and when are you going to actually get to do anything ? You know , maybe you're not even healthy at that time , maybe you're too tired .

So I really think this is the time that we should be doing things for ourselves . I don't know what we're waiting for , and so that's why I called it Modern Empty Nesters . We're not the empty nesters of our parents' generation sitting by the phone waiting for us to call and just sitting home all the time . We are busy people .

We've got things to do , places to go , things to see . So much to learn still , and you know we've got to get it done .

And like even retirement , like oh , here's what retirement should look like . But nobody models like the in-between and that's where you are with Modern Empty Nester right , that's where we are in . Our lives is like we're in between . There's no modeling for what that looks like .

Like you make it simple , it's not extravagant . So I try to do that , yeah .

to do that . I mean , of course , sometimes , you know , luke's travel is good . We all have a little luxury in our lives , including myself , so you'll see some of that , and I think we deserve it , because we have done a lot . We've spent 18 years , you know , raising our kids and putting them first .

So you know we really need to stop feeling guilty for doing things for ourselves and in getting it done . But it all doesn't have to be expensive , and so we obviously have retirement , you know , down the road . So we don't want to . We want to have a nice , healthy mix of things to do , and it could be , you know , an exciting trip to Europe .

It could be a walk in your city , you know , down the street , and you discover so much , and it's something that we kind of take for granted sometimes .

I mean , we live here , where I'm in Northern Virginia , near DC , just 20 minutes away , and you know , sometimes you know I'll say to my husband OK , let's go for a walk , but like we always walk in the neighborhood , but why don't we walk in DC ?

So like we'll go , walk and walk and walk and discover so much about our own cities that we didn't even know existed . And so you pick different neighborhoods , different parks , different aspects that you want to hit . A new museum exhibit comes up , let's walk in , let's's go .

And it's so fun , it's so fun to be spontaneous , and I think you know that's really what we should be doing , because I mean , I don't just when we sit at home sometimes I get so restless , I'm like , oh my god , we're wasting time .

Your friends are your friends , call you to say , hey , let's , let's have a ladies night . You can say , yes , you're like , oh okay , let's do it , you know . Or let's go to a movie . Or let's like oh okay , let's do it , you know , or let's go to a movie , or let's .

It's such a strange feeling at first because we really couldn't do that , and if we did we felt so guilty . So it's really really important to start doing that . And then , once you take the first step and the plunge to doing things like that , oh my gosh , it's such a good feeling , such a good feeling Like .

I guess I can give you a very extreme example of spontaneity where last year , friends of ours , we were supposed to go on a trip to Florida and a hurricane had hit and it had closed , and so I was half joking , half not saying to them what if we just went to brains , to champagne , because I was like I don't know why it was on my mind , I was kind of

joking but it . But then we did it . They said okay . I was like , oh , okay , and it was such a fun feeling to be like that . That's obviously extravagant , and we were lucky that we could afford to do that . But it doesn't have to be France , it could be anywhere . And it's just the fact that we just said , okay , let's do it .

We just shifted gears to a completely different idea and it was so fun . We felt so I don't know like rebellious in a way that we did that and we just and we did something for ourselves and it was one of the best trips . We had a really good time and , um , a great experience , so I highly recommend it .

And it was even on an off time uh , in december , not your typical time to go , so you might see a post of mine um christmas time in champagna , but it was like christmas markets were there . Um , it's only 45 minutes from from paris , so there are .

You just have to think a little bit out of the box doesn't have to be a lot and just say yes , and you will feel so exhilarated because you did something for yourself yeah , say yes , and you'll feel exhilarated . I love it I love .

and I , yeah , get in the car or hop on . I know there's lots of places accessible by train .

But national parks are something that I would think is we have so many beautiful places here in the United States that we really something to experience . But the window of time is not that great , so you kind of have to be a more of an advanced planner for that one um , so that would be really exciting . Um , a lot of exciting trips coming up in 2025 .

You'll see later , but you know it is um , there there's a lot . There's always . There's always somewhere new , there's always something exciting new .

And I , I I did even drive cross country um once , actually sort of semi-spontaneous trip , where a friend had to bring her son's car across the country and I said you know , maybe I'll , maybe I'll join you in the car .

You know , I was like a new empty nester and , um , we had the best time , it was such a great time and we actually had to do it only in a week , so it wasn't , you know , as much time as we'd even want to , but so much to explore , even in the car . I love road trips . I love them . You feel so free and it's just like what a great feeling .

You don't know where you're going to end up .

You know , catch them , if I can . When they first open , I kind like not so new anymore , but , um , I think it's really exciting . And and when that happens and um , so that's like just in your own town there's a lot to do . Um , where you can , I mean internationally , you know , first of all , you want to um check your passport first .

Obviously you have to make sure it's not going to expire soon . That's one thing . Make sure your names match your reservation , especially women with their maiden names . This has happened to me , actually , and I actually couldn't even get on a cruise once because of that .

The travel agent used another name , my married name , but my passport didn't have that , and so it was a big , big mess . So make sure names match your IDs , because sometimes other people are doing the reservations , whether it's a travel agent . So you want to always double check that . Bring a portable charger . I think that's so important .

I've been on the streets of Paris by myself and all of a sudden the phone died . That was my map . I didn't have the portable charger charged up enough to have it go , so it kind of cuts into your time . You know that way . So there are lots of little tips here and there Don't overpack , and wear good shoes . Wear good shoes .

I'm a classic overpacker myself . So you know I'm starting to learn little by little . Start tearing it down , because sometimes when you travel , especially abroad , you might be in an apartment where the stairwell is narrow or it's too many stairs to carry a heavy suitcase , especially if there's no one to help you .

So there's so many , there's just so much out there so many different tips .

So we got to . We want to be comfortable . I mean we at this point in our lives , to me , comfort is number one . I think we deserve it and I think you know that's why I , like I love actually highlighting products that will make people's lives a little more easy , a little more comfortable and um , you know , just kind of um .

And then that's what I do , I , I , I try to research top quality and align myself with good quality companies with high quality products that are going to really help . I'm not going to . I only recommend what I love and um and have used

for the most part as well , and so I think it is um , it's so important and I hopefully it's helpful in saving people time and money . That's what I try , that's good .

So like some kind of soft pullovers , you know , sweater , sweatshirt , I don't care what it is , but this is the number one thing . There's nothing worse than being cold on the plane . I can't take that .

You don't want to sit there for hours with wet clothes , so it's always good to have an extra , you know , something with you just in case Such good advice . And headphones . Headphones are really important . Noise canceling I've learned by my lesson . I was near crying baby recently .

No one loves babies more than me , I'm all about it , but not necessarily when they're near you , and so you know , I I I've had like the little earphones , but my husband was sitting pretty with his noise canceling headphones . So of course , after that I got a pair for myself and I actually did a review on on the website Um of of .

I highlighted the top ones because people have different , you know , tastes and opinions on what they want .

So , you know , I you can't have everything and you , you know you can get something also on , like a black Friday sale or something or any of those . These are great times to take advantage of that , because you can actually find some good , good deals .

Can't be traveling too much if you don't feel well . So , um , you know that's , I would say that's the number one thing , um , but then , you know , hopefully new experiences will come along and , um , you know , I'd love to write more . Maybe . You know , go back and do something meaningful and long you never more collabs , just so many things .

I can't even tell you . I have so many . I'm like one of those people who has so many ideas , so you never know what's going to come next .

Maybe knowing some of your legal rights for travel , because I think this has come up now quite a lot , where there's been a lot of canceled flights , you know , and due to weather or due to data breaches or due to other things , and so I think it would be nice to highlight some of those things as well , because you you just don't .

You know you need to be armed and know what your rights are . Right , and it'd be nice to just have something where you could just click this is it ?

So , um , that's also something else that you know we need to know is what are our rights ? What makes life easier as a traveler ? You know I don't like standing along lines anymore . I don't have that kind of patience , and so you know we want to , we want to speed things up , you know .

Plus , I also think it's nice to learn about how we can save money and travel . How can we maximize our points on credit cards for free travel , getting free upgrades ? It's surprising that actually a lot of people don't really read a lot of the fine print of what their card offers . There's so many things that can that you know it actually does .

So I'm going to be highlighting that more . I do do some of that in

the Savvy Nestor newsletter that I also have , and you know , if anyone wants to subscribe , it's on the website but and it's on Instagram , but I do money saving tips on that , and some of it is on travel and on how to maximize value for travel , because we all want to save money and there's nothing better than traveling , and traveling when you know it's free .

Yeah , that's so good , more exciting , so good .

My mother doesn't really go anywhere , um , she doesn't need that . Hers right more on groceries or gas she likes the cash back yeah . Yes , exactly , and kids also like that .

You know we have a fun group of friends who also like traveling a lot and I think that's a really fun thing for empty nesters to do is find people that you kind of align with , travel wise and go do it , and it can also be couples . It could be ladies trips , it could be guys trips . I think guys trips are very underrated and are very important .

I don't know if you experienced any of that but I think it's really important for men also to bond and connect . So that's been actually something that has been .

My husband is now , I think , feels like he can kind of engage in more now that the kids are gone too , and you know he's having so much fun and doing things that I wouldn't necessarily want to do , like he'll go hike , serious hiking , you know , like I probably can't handle that as much , or he'll go , they'll go skiing , or you know . So it's .

It's good they come back feeling refreshed , connected and just ready to tackle on the new . You know , work week Everybody needs a good break , so I think that's that's really fun . I love finding new things for my Empty Nest followers and I think it's just I'm just always looking into new things .

I just have so many ideas that I can't even post them all in time , but I will be and I'm actually , you know , going to be gearing up more for 2025 .

I think 2025 is going to be a big year , and so you know I'm going to be actually highlighting more experiences for empty nesters , whether it's it's echo travel , slow travel , um , you know , um , uh , biz , not really as much business , travel more for for um pleasure , I would say , so you get a break .

But , um , there's so many experience , travel that people can do , um , and a lot of people are going and going to shows and concerts that are not local anymore . This is a whole new kind of phenomenon I've noticed too , and so that's kind of exciting .

So it could be for shows , it could be for events , it could be for like a tennis tournament , it could be for literally anything . You can make anything , a trip out of anything , and if you've always said , oh , I wish I could do that , well then let's do it . There's nothing stopping you so good . Yeah , I think you know . We've just got to act on it .

What else are we going to do ? Right Literally we're in the sweet spot of life , right .

You don't know what's going to happen tomorrow , and so you want to do something . Just get it done .

I mean , I think after COVID , everybody was just anxious to get back to countries and cities that they've always wanted to go to , and so it was just like boom , boom , boom , I need to go here , I need to go there , like you don't know if you can do it again because of COVID . So now things seem to be simmering down .

I think that people are now wanting to . Just now , you can . You can , if you want you , go back to that

city but really savor the time there and really maybe get an apartment , maybe feel like local , maybe hang out at the cafe . You don't have to go to every site if you don't want . It's about experiencing life in those cities , and I definitely that's on my list of things to do and would love to spend , you know , more time there , for sure .

My wife and I and the kids , we went to England and Ireland this summer and we basically did it in about six days and it felt like , okay , we saw a ton of things , but it felt so rushed as opposed to being able to go back and being like all right , we're going to spend a week in one place and just like pretend like we live there .

And exactly what you know , where are we going to go to dinner and where are we going to go get coffee ? And are we going to go see this you know museum or this , or are we just going to hang out in the park , like whatever it may be . It's just like slowing down and I like that concept of slow travel , so I'm glad that you brought it up .

It's like we don't have to do all the things so quickly and you can do the same thing at home .

great and you know , I , absolutely . I think I think it's people and , um , you know , my husband was going on a guy's trip and , um , I thought , oh , okay , well , I guess I'll , I'll just be home , you know . And then I thought , wait a minute , why am I going to be sitting home alone , when I could be sitting alone in the middle of Paris ?

This is going to be great . Alone in the middle of Paris , this is going to be great . And so I was determined to do that and I did , and that was a really big step , I think as an empty nester , because never would I ever feel like I could do that . And I was a French major in college and study abroad and couldn't even do that at that time .

I even had wanted to work in France and a job offer in DC prevented me from doing that .

So I always felt like I had this unfinished business of wanting to go spend a little time there on my own time , not having kids with me , not having my husband rushing around , and always , you know , thinking of what he would like to do , my husband rushing around and I'm always , you know , thinking of what he would like to do .

I thought , okay , you know , maybe I'll , maybe I'll do that , and it's , it's a . It was a daunting idea to go by myself because nobody was there at that time that I knew , but I felt like I needed to do it and I think it's a very it's a character building thing to be able to go by yourself and make you .

It makes you feel a lot more independent and like a true empty nester , and I did that and it was very exciting . And I have to say , when it's a weird feeling , you get off the plane and you're , you're , you're all you know , walking quickly off the plane and then you realize , oh , there's nobody waiting for me , there's nobody here .

I don't even know anyone here right now and I thought , oh well , I guess it's my own schedule and so it takes a little time to get in the swing of it . But that is , you know , another form of kind of slow travel where you can go on your own experience a city on your own , whatever city you feel comfortable doing , but that you've always wanted to do .

Like it should be about what you've always wanted to do , because there's no other time to do it . So if that's something that's always nagged you in the back of your mind that you oh , I wish I could do that , just do it . There's no better exhilarating feeling than doing that .

So I make the point because you don't have to go to Paris , right , I love that you did that . But also let people know there are things you can do within the US yes , even closer to home , where you can go and do something .

It kind of is fun feeling you know , but it's again , that would be something that you've always wanted to learn or you know , or a hobby that you've always wanted to do . Like you want to become a pastry chef , go take a class , you can do it . You can do anything you put your mind to doing .

. What is your empty nest life motto ?

You know they're on their own journeys , but it's important for them to see that you are also flying high and that you're doing you know what you love , and not just waiting for them to call . We got to show them how it's done because they are watching us . We're role models right .

So definitely , instagram right now is where it's at and the website and people can subscribe to the Savvy Nestor newsletter to hear more from me and money-saving tips that they'll be getting . That , you know , hopefully is relevant to their empty nester life and midlife .

And just stay tuned for much more Follow along on Instagram and there's going to be a lot more coming up with city guides and big travel suggestions for 2025 . I'm gearing up , I'm going on a deeper dive and I'm so excited for it .