7. Can Stress be Good for Us?

own positivity quest. Before we get into the meat of today's show, I'd like to share something with you which I have found both cool and fascinating. We are only on episode seven. That's today's show, there is a fan base that's starting to be created around this positivity quest, which I think is amazing. But what I have found, awesome,

fantastic. Whatever descriptor you want to slide in there is that listeners of the show have started to reach out with YouTube videos, Ted Talks, magazine articles, newspaper articles that they have found that have helped them on their own journey. So one, I'm glad to know I'm not on this positivity quest by myself, which is awesome. It means the more people who are looking for that in their lives, the better this

planet will be. But more importantly, that they're open and transparent about wanting to share. So what I want to do moving forward is if other listeners of the show have content that they are interested in, please share it. You can send that to me at info at positivity on fire.com. Or you can head to direct.me slash Jason Ramsden. And you'll see a link to a Google form there in which you can submit topics for potential future episodes of the

show. Before we get today's show started, I just really wanted to say thank you to Sarah be in Raleigh, North Carolina, for today's topic about stress and mindset. She shared with me a TED talk from Kelly McGonigal, who is a professor at Stanford. And the basis of the conversation of the basis of the talk that she shared was called How to make stress your friend. And we're going to get into that right now. So what do we know about stress? So stress is defined as a feeling of emotion

or physical tension. Clearly, stress can come from any event, any thought anything that makes you feel frustrated, angry, nervous, scared, and stress is just purely your body's reaction to any sort of challenge or demand that you may be facing. Now, in short, bursts, stress can be positive. And that's where we're going to head with today's show. But do you realize exactly what stress can do to your body? Here's just a short list. I was kind of blown away. I didn't realize it did all of

this. But I think guys obviously headaches, heartburn, increased depression, insomnia, weakened immune system, rapid breathing risk of a heart attack, high blood sugar, high blood pressure, pounding hearts, low sex drive, tense muscles, and fertility problems. And that's just part of the list. Stress is born out of the fight or flight response. And that was useful. Back in the day when we possibly could have been eaten by a predator. That's not the case anymore. Stress still exists,

but that's where it began. So when stressful situations kick up in our lives are having that same initial reaction, we either want to fight or we want to fly, we want to head out the door. And that basically comes from, we get adrenaline pumping, we get cortisol going through our bodies, things get revved up, our heart rate goes faster, we have blood rushing everywhere, to our muscles, to our heart to other important organs, we start

to breathe quicker. And all of a sudden, we have this like heightened sense of awareness of what's happening. Now, what we've always been told about stress is that stress is harmful. As we know, it affects everybody. There's nobody who is not affected by stress in some form or fashion. It's just part of life. Another thing you need to understand is that stress, not all of it is bad. There's

some good stress. If you're a procrastinator, you know what I'm talking about that deadlines coming up and you want to meet it, stress kicks in and you get the job done. We also know that long term stress can harm our health can even cause chronic illness. But what happens if we reframe our thoughts about stress? Is it possible that we can actually make stress our friend that we can actually welcome it into our lives under

certain conditions? That's what Kelly McGonigal says in her TED talk, and we'll get into that in just a second. So stick around Now that is exactly what participants were told in a study conducted at Harvard University. Before they went through the social stress test, they were taught to rethink their stress response is helpful. That pounding heart is preparing you for action. If you're breathing faster, it's no problem. It's getting more

oxygen to your brain. And participants who learned to view the stress response as helpful for their performance, while they were less stressed out less anxious, more confident, but the most fascinating finding to me was how their physical stress response changed. Now in a typical stress response, your heart rate goes up, and your

blood vessels constrict. And this is one of the reasons that chronic stress is sometimes associated with cardiovascular disease, it's not really healthy to be in this state all the time. But in the study, when participants view their stress response is helpful. Their blood vessel stayed relax, when I conducted a Google search of the word stress, over a

billion results. And as I thumb through them, I had a hard time finding anything that was relevant to what Kelly McGonigal was talking about, in her TED Talk, most of the articles that I clicked through, and these are from sites like the National Institute of Mental Health, or the Mental Health Foundation, or health line, all places where we would normally turn to you for looking for information about

stress. And what I found fascinating was that the majority of them we're talking about stress is bad for you long term stress is really bad for you, here's how to identify it, here's how to cope with it. Here's the things that you can do, review your lifestyle, have supportive relationships, eat better, cut out drinking, cut out smoking, make sure you exercise, be mindful, take time for yourself. And of course, get sleep restful sleep, minimum amounts that you need for your

body to do well. And where mechanicals study differed from these articles that I had read is that she pointed to mindset as a way to make stress your

friend. And she goes about telling us this, because in her study, in the initial part of her study, focus on stress was that they had data points that said, just the belief of stress being bad for you killed more people over 20,000 people, then and this is supposedly from our study, then people who were murdered people who died of HIV and wait for it skin cancer. That's mind blowing to me, that just a belief alone, a mindset about something being bad for us

could cause death itself. And I know what you're gonna say you say, Jay, I can't not worry about things. I can't not be focused on how things in my life may or may not go, it's just who I am. It's a part of how I live my life. I stress about everything. But I'm going to tell you right now, free yourself of that mindset, you can do it free yourself of the mindset of I have to worry about things. Remember, you can't control that, which is out of

your control. Gamma said again, you cannot control that, which is out of your control. If you could fix it, you would. So what is it about the worry that you need to do if you can't fix a problem, if you can fix it, the worry would go away. So let's take that back out. If you take the worry off the table, because you can't control the outcome, because if you did, you could

fix it. And we start to focus on the good parts of stress, the short term where it gets us going, which gets us hyper focused, which allows us to perform at a higher level on a shorter deadline. And if you absolutely, positively can't make that happen in your life where you say, you know what, I'm still going to worry. And I'm still going to stress about things. Don't bottle it up. Don't repress it, don't put it down. Don't let your mind spin

around it. Share it with somebody, tell somebody because the support structure there. When you when you're faced with stress, when we're you know that the the phrase, we're all in this together? Well, if you don't tell anybody, you're not in it together with anybody, but if you do, you've got a support structure that will then allow you to start to minimize the effects of that stress on your

life. And here's what mechanical says about that specifically in our talk, which I found amazingly positive about how we can use stress or how we can make stress a friend in our lives. Make sure you notice when someone else in your life is struggling so that you can support each other. When life is difficult, your stress response wants you to be surrounded by people who care about you? Okay, so how is knowing this side of stress going to make you

healthier? Well, oxytocin doesn't only act on your brain, it also acts on your body. And one of its main roles in your body is to protect your cardiovascular system from the effects of stress. It's a natural anti inflammatory, it also helps your blood vessels stay relaxed during stress. But my favorite effect on the body is actually on the heart. Your heart has receptors for this hormone. And oxytocin helps heart cells regenerate and heal from any stress induced damage.

So at this point in the talk, my mind is absolutely blown. Basically, our bodies are built to protect ourselves. So my takeaway here is that our bodies are built to protect us, if we only listen to them, if we only listen to them, and how often do we ignore it, we have that cough, that headache that ache that pain and won't go away. And we just assume that it's a normal part or a normal course of life. And if we let it go long enough, we end up with a

bigger health problem. So how do we do a better job of listening to our bodies and what's going on around us? Okay, we've already established that stress happens to everybody. And here's just a few few signs that stress is happening, okay, we're depressed, we get anxious, we may get angry or irritable with people in our lives, we will be fidgety restless. For some people stress manifests itself as sleeping too little, and for

others way too much. There can be this racing through our brains of thoughts constantly and like a constant worry, we may have trouble remembering things or may have times when we have difficulty concentrating on tasks, or projects at work. Stress can also manifest itself as bad habits. And obviously, stress can feel overwhelming, can make us unmotivated. And at times unfocused. And I share those not just for yourself to recognize what's happening to you. Because sometimes we don't

recognize it. Sometimes we push it off as it's something else. I also share them so that you can recognize these signs in other people. So that those close to you especially we were all inside now we're COVID has kept us close together in close contact with a cure signs that you can recognize and other people in your household that may be experiencing stress of some kind or some fashion. So what steps can we do? Or also, if appropriate, suggest to others that may be experiencing

stress? How do we how do we bring our stress levels down? Number one, breathe. Breathing is the most effective, say to yourself, breathe in, we're going to do it three times you breathe in. So on the inhale, what you're going to do is you're going to say to yourself, not today stress. And on the exhale, I've got this, okay, not today stress. I've got this. Not today stress. I've got this. Because that's number one

breathing, deep breathing. By verbalizing that you are feeling stress, you're admitting to yourself, that you're either anxious or angry or worried. And it's okay. Once you once you tell yourself that that's happening, that starts to help reduce the stress. And one thing I like to do when I'm starting to stress or I'm starting to worry about something is to think about the absolute worst

case possible. And if you think of the absolute worst case possible, than anything else that happens that's less than that appeases you, it makes you feel better, because you've imagined the worst case possible. This came up for me, I'm on a nonprofit board, and we had a change in leadership. And I at the time, I was as president of that board and I and I said to the folks around the table, just imagine this. Okay, we've got a change in

leadership coming up. Imagine if we lost half our members because of that change in leadership. Once you put that mindset into it, and say that's the worst case scenario, anything less than that is a win, and your mind thinks of it that way. Other tips in this healthline.com article, visualize yourself calm. If you hear people say all the time, go to your happy place. Think about that. You know, for me, it's sitting on the beach early in the morning watching the

sunrise. you visualize that enough, the worry and the stress will repeat itself. Another tactic that works for some people, listen to music, whether that's you know, getting music that gets you pumped up or excited or whether that's music, classical music or or smooth jazz, that calms you down. brings your levels down. Listening to music is always a great way to help reduce stress.

Change your focus, it's easy enough to change your focus, get up from where you are, go to a different room in the house, go outside, go for a walk, go for a drive, go for a drive and listen to music. That's a great way to reduce stress in my opinion. also considering write it down, what's making you worried what's stressing, you put it on a piece of paper, let it go from your subconscious. If it's on a piece of paper, it's written down, you're less likely to hold it in

your mind. And there are other tactics in this 15 ways to calm yourself down on healthline.com as well. And I won't go into them detail but there's you got to pick what works best for you. And for me, the way that I kind of approach stress in my life is by book ending. And what I mean by book ending is book ending morning and bookending at night, okay? two sets of routines that allow me to get the day started. And finish the day with a good mindset and be focused on what

I'm going to accomplish. But also do it so that I can minimize stress in my life. So what does that look like for me personally, it could be totally different for you. But for me, most days, the alarm goes off at 5am I rise, I get out of bed, I take the dog for a short walk, I'm back inside by about 515 or 520. I do about a 10 minute meditation. And I've mentioned this before I use the calm app

to meditate. I do that 10 minute meditation, clear my mind, I take the day's topic, and I do self reflection and do an Instagram post. post that up on positivity underscore j then I get ready and I go upstairs and I work out. Now I'm just getting back into working out. It hasn't been probably but two, three weeks. And I'm taking it slow. I'm doing some mornings I'm just stretching some mornings, I'm just trying some yoga, the mornings it's using body strength exercises, and it's not

long. Right now I'm just getting back into the habit. So it's 10 minutes, 15 minutes, sometimes 20 minutes, but it's building up to get my day started by about 630 I'm back downstairs, I make breakfast I have basically the same breakfast every single day. I have black coffee to eggs, a couple strips of bacon, toast for the eggs and also toast with

some amazing blueberry jam. And then it's time to hit the shower and I hit the shower a little after seven shower change get to work between 730 and eight o'clock, depending on how the rest of my morning has gone. That's my book ended in the morning. Now that may or may not work for you, your your life may be different than mine. Obviously, I've got an empty nest, my kids are older. I don't have to worry about getting anybody else out the door in the

morning. I do make breakfast for my wife because she deserves to have breakfast made for her every day. She's amazing. And she takes it to go with her. But you have to say the point is you have to figure out what works best for you in a morning routine. But make sure you have a morning routine. It's important that you want to bookend that in the evening What is your routine look like when you get home at night. Now for me my morning routine is sacred that I do that every

single day. I'm working on my nighttime routine, my nighttime book and when I get home, but typically this is what I aim for. So I tried to leave work by about five 530 at the latest. Then I stopped at the grocery store. I love to stop at the grocery store every day on the way home because I like to buy fresh for when I'm preparing meals. Get home take the dog for another walk. So that's some decompression there. I don't

live far from where I work. So I need a little bit of downtime, extra downtime when I get home. Then it's falls into changing getting in comfy clothes. And for me that's always especially in the wintertime, jeans and a sweatshirt is my go to. Then I proceed to start to make dinner for the family. I cook I've got music on usually sometimes a glass of wine. Then we sit down as a family. We eat we discuss what's going on on the day, we check in with each other, we talk about what's coming up for

the next day. The best part of being the chef, I don't have to do dishes that falls on other family members. That's the rule in our house. So that takes that off my plate. No pun intended. From the time that we start dinner, the time that I go to bed, I typically try and leave my phone someplace else. I try not to use it. So I'm trying to limit my screen time at night. That helps with not getting wound up with emails from work

or text alerts from the news. I try to do some learning or some reading or I often like to watch shows my wife, my wife and I find that as our downtime together. And because I always want to commit to having between seven and a half and eight hours of sleep. I'm always trying to be in bed by nine o'clock at the latest. And when you think about bookending your day like that where you've got a really good strong morning routine. And a really good strong evening routine that can ground you in

your day. And you have a great way to start your day. And you know, no matter what happens during the day, you have a great way to unwind and bring downtime at the end of the day. And you've got to figure out what that looks like for you in your life, it's going to be totally different than it is for me. And I understand that. The important point is, take time to figure

out what works for you. And once you figure that out, share it, share it with somebody in your family, share it with a friend, come and share with me share it on LinkedIn or Facebook, come to Instagram post and drop a line there. Let me know what you're doing to bookend your days and how that's making your life feel a little bit more manageable and it's helping you reduce stress in your life. But start today, do it start tomorrow, Think it

through, take some advice. think through how you may want to begin and end your day and make it part of your routine. Routine has a really important place in our lives. Because it sets the table for everything else that we do. I believe in you I believe you can get this going if you don't have bookends to your day. get it started. reached out let me know how it's going. And in closing, as always, just thank you for being here today. I say it at the end of every show your gift of time.

listening to this show really does truly mean the world to me. And as always, remember be well be happy, be you and until the next time. May your quest for positivity begin today. If you liked today's episode, please go to pod chaser com search for the show and leave a five star rating and review. For more on my positivity quest. Follow me at positively underscore Jay on Instagram and Tiktok or engage with the show on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Have an amazing day.