42. Diving Into Value & Self-Worth

the best you possible. Please subscribe today. Now, let's get into today's episode. Hello, my positivity posse. My journey continues. So welcome back. If you're a first time listener, welcome to the show. If you like today's episode, please make sure to rate review and share and tag me on social at underscore j y Ramsden on most social platforms now, we only grow when you review and share the show. So thanks so much for

the consideration. Today we're jumping right into challenging our own preconceived notions about our own self worth and value. The hard work continues for me, my friends, and I know it does for us. So let's jump right into today's episode. Alright, so here we are, we've we've spent, basically our entire lives going through a series of events that have formed us into who we are right

now. So for me as part of my journey, we're talking a little bit about having this weight of not living up to who you think you are. So for me not living up to who I think I am or the potential that I have. And when you start to have those thoughts in your mind, good God, is that just absolutely crushing? You get this get to this point where you're saying, You're what really is my value? What really is my self worth? In this world?

Or me got this show got a coaching practice impact when media is my company, I'm looking forward to you know, impacting the lives of others, or when I put content out there? I'm wondering, is it resonating with people? Is there value for people on the other end? And I don't say that, I don't say that at all to have you go, Oh, well, you know, poor guy. He's putting stuff out into the world and nobody's giving stuff back? No,

that's not the case. I would imagine we all go through these types of things where we're wondering, are we good enough parents? Are we good enough spouse? Are we good enough leader, we're good enough worker, we're good enough person, when we provide value to people in the world, through our actions, is that actually providing value to them is actually happening on the other

side of the equation. And when you don't get the feedback, at least in my case, when you don't get the feedback, you start to ponder, is it worth it? Is there value. And so recently, I spent a little bit of time with my mentor. And we were going through this scenario, and we were digging deep, and we're digging deep, and we're digging

deep. And the next thing I know, sitting here asking me, Hey, Jay, listen, you need to spend a little time sitting in your own self worthiness, I'm gonna say that again, you need to spend some time sitting in your own self worthiness. And I've spent a good couple of days here kind of pondering, what is it that she meant by that? What I take away from it, is that regardless of what I put out into the universe, regardless of what I do, I do have value I do have worth as a human on this planet,

we all do. We all have gone through our own set of experiences, we've all been our own journey, we've all gone through what makes us unique. And so when we give back to the world, based upon our experiences, yeah, that absolutely positively provides

value on the other end. So big deal, if you're not getting the big pat on the back, or the email reply, or the good job, or the the comments or the likes, or the shares, or whatever it may be, throw that all out the window, you need to sit, as she said, to me, you need to sit in your own self worthiness in order to make sure that you're living your best life. And so that's what I've been wrestling with this past week is what does

that mean? And the weight of my own preconceived self notions on whether or not I'm living up to who I think I'm supposed to be who I actually am I, and how do I take those thoughts and kind of move them to the side? One of the ways that we can do that one of the ways that I am working through is what is the habit like what is the pattern of the habit that creates this for me? So obviously, we've kind of have this circumstance that causes a thought and reaction. So what is

the habit? What's the circumstances circumstances, I go ahead and I put stuff out there for people. Now I may get a little traction, I may get no traction. There may be You know, like, there may be no shares, I mean, no comments. And for somebody who spent an entire career of helping people and getting feedback back on that help it that's a hard habit to move away from to say, Okay, I used to have this one career where I would help people, and they would acknowledge the help.

And that felt good. And so now I'm in this other career where I'm also providing value to people, but not getting the confirmation back. And so what does that do? Right? If you spend 25 or 30 years doing a job, where you feel like you're making a difference, and you're providing value, and things are moving forward for your company moving forward in your career? That feels good, right?

Absolutely feels good. And when you pivot and do something different, it's going to take time, it's absolutely going to take time to kind of move through that. So my habit pattern is I need to change my thoughts, right? Not my thoughts about myself, but my thoughts about what happens. So when I put content out into the world, I need to stop having the thought that it's not valuable.

No, it is absolutely 100% That tons of people who listen to the podcast, I have people who have subscribed to my newsletter, I have people who follow me on social all over the place in lots of different places, just because they're not engaging with me. And for me, we'll get into in a little bit like engagement is a huge piece for me. When they're not engaging with me, it doesn't mean I'm not helping them in some form or

fashion. Okay, so when you have this thought process, you have this circumstance that happens to you, you have this trigger that takes place, and then you have thoughts about it. What does that do? puts you into like this huge mental jail, this huge cycle, okay. And it has, it has you reacting to a circumstance rather than responding to a circumstance? Alright, fair enough. So once you get stuck in that cycle of, I have a, I have a circumstance that happens, I have a thought that happens. And

then I have a response. It's the thought part that we're going to work on. That's the piece, at least for me, that's frustrating, because it's hard work to work on your thoughts, right? It's hard work to shift your mindset. And as a mindset coach, and somebody who helps people with mindset, you know, I got to do the work myself and just didn't come to this place in my life where, you know, I thought, Oh, let me be a mindset coach. Now, it's been a long

time struggle for myself. And so I figure, I'm going through that journey, other people going through that journey, so I can provide benefit to them. So how does this all come to be like, what is the exact moment where you can actually have a breakthrough? In understanding your value and your self worth? Where does that come from? Time. The first thing I believe, which I'm starting to see for myself, is that I'm starting to recognize that my actions do not

align with who I say I am. The action is, I don't believe I've provide value to others. And so that negatively affects my concept of my preconceived notion about my own self worth. But that doesn't align with who I say I am publicly. I am a mindset coach, I am somebody who thrives on providing value to others. I believe I'm making a difference, I believe on helping people in organizations grow. Those don't align, when I don't believe in my own value, how can I provide value to others? So

there's no alignment? There's, there's a misalignment between my thoughts and my actions, and who I say I am, and who I want to believe that I am. What's the coping mechanism there? What happens when you kind of have this mindset, you get locked in this jail, in order to have that breakthrough, right, you have to go through a series of breakdowns, I'm not saying like a huge breakdown, that's not going to happen for you, there's not going to be a huge breakdown, but there are minor

ones. And we all have little tiny minor breakdowns every single day. That's what's going to kind of propel you forward to say, Okay, let me dive inside myself. Let me go into right my coping mechanism, maybe I'm getting lost in in Netflix, maybe I'm getting lost in the show, maybe I'm just spending time thumb and social. Those are all coping mechanisms to when I'm feeling poor about myself, because I've created this illusion of that I don't have

value worth, okay. In order to break out of that cycle, unable to get out of my own head. It's all about habit patterns. When I do X, I need to do y. Okay, so when I post content, I need to not worry about it. When I create a show, like I'm already here, and I posted out to the world, I don't need to worry about what the stats are. When I write a blog post and I put it out into the world. I don't need to worry too much about who is responding to it whether or not

it's gaining traction. None of that matters because here's the big thing. And here's the big thing, right? It doesn't matter because as a human being as a person who has I had a distinct history, who has had distinct experiences, who has gone through life in a certain way. I'm the only person there's nobody else that has gone down the same path that I've gone. Alright? It's my journey. It's

nobody else's. And because of that, because of my experiences, because of my journey, because of the things that I've taken away from that, I have value I have worth, I can give back to people by sharing my story and sharing my beliefs, my thoughts, and how I'm moving through how I'm moving through this self

discovery journey. I said it the other day, post it on Instagram was kind of a little bit of funny thing says, Yeah, I'm working on a book, it's going to be titled becoming J gonna have one chapter with one sentence. And that sentence is it's hard, frickin work. It's absolutely hard freakin work, you can't become a better person, just overnight, right? It's gonna take time, but you have to work on it. You have to work on removing your limiting beliefs.

Your limiting beliefs are exactly what's holding you back, from believing in yourself, believing in yourself worth believing in your value, believing the difference that you can make in this world. And so it's all about removing the limiting beliefs. And in order to remove the limiting beliefs. You have to focus on the circumstance and the thoughts that arise. So need to reframe your thoughts. Alright, so

what comes next? Right, we've talked about breakthroughs a little bit, we've talked about the journey that I've been on, I'm doubting this, my self worth doubting my value in this world, AM. So what comes next? There's a really great phrase that says, to be reborn, you have to die first. And I'm not saying literally, but in order to change yourself, right? That's my whole thing becoming Jay. That's now my new thing, right? Is that Jason Ramsden is my name, Jay is what my family and

friends call me. So I want to move from this professional, Jason to this personal kind of value driven Jay. And I need to shed that right, I need to shed what was old in my previous life in my previous job. And now I'm focused on this new opportunity. And and now that I'm doing that, now that I'm doing the work to move forward with it, I am on this self discovery, I'm on this reflection, journey. Shoot, there could be even some therapy involved at some point here in

time. But when I have to do scratch that it's not a half, what I want to do is I have to have, I need to I want to stop having thoughts that serve my fears. That's what this breaks down to like at a very quintessential low level is that I have to stop having thoughts.

Or I want to have it stop having thoughts that serve my fears that prevent me from realizing that I am like this amazing person who has a gift, who has a desire, who has the ability to help people move through with their journeys and through with their lives. Because I have done the same thing. I have come to a conclusion that I myself believe in making a difference in the lives of others. That's

important to me. So whether I'm supporting individuals and personal growth and development, or providing insights into organizations, I add value in all that I do. So why do I think or believe that I don't have self worth and value. That's just not the case. I need to consider myself successful. I like to consider myself successful when I'm contributing to a greater cause. So how do I do that? Right? I've literally helped people make sense of complex and challenging

problems. That's what I do. I have a knack for taking a lot of information, breaking it down into understandable chunks. And more importantly, understandable and useful chunks for my clients. And what that does for them, like the value that I bring to them is a better way for them to move forward. Right. They make more progress when they work with me than others because they move forward. So that's that's what I believe in.

Why I am having limiting beliefs and doubts about my ability to help people move forward is part of my self discovery journey. I know you're on that journey yourself. If you listen to this podcast, you certainly may be on that journey. You probably gravitate to it because we have a lot in common. I think a lot of people today are probably wondering about their value and self worth. I mean, we're the country's talking about this

great resignation. I read a great article today talking about it actually is the great reshuffling. I love that phrase, people are reshuffling their lives or reshuffling what's important to them? And I think along the way as people are reshuffling their prior priorities and reshuffling what's important to them? They're going To ultimately find their value and their self worth

in this world. I believe that 100% As someone who's struggling in that with myself, I see this as a huge opportunity, not just for me, but for anybody listening to the show anybody who is considering a change in life or a change in job or a change in perspective, whatever it may be, I believe it's

coming. I believe that the world is going to be a better place here in the next 12 to 18 months, I feel like people are shifting their priorities, and it's all going to help them discover their value and worth and it's gonna make a place, make them make themselves better and make the world better. Like I see that coming down the path. Alright my friends if you liked today's episode, please give us a five star rating. Wherever you listen and share this episode as word of mouth is the only way

this shows message growth. And finally, as I close every show, thank you for being here today, my friends your gift of time listening to this show means the world to me, and as always be well be happy be you and until the next time. May your quest for positivity begin today. For more on my positivity quest follow me at underscore j y Ramsden on Instagram tick tock

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