You have learned and I have learned people have learned how to respond to stimuli in certain ways. And like anything else, we have to unlearn that conditioned response, we have to unlearn how we have been taught to respond to external stimuli to our thought process to things that are going on in our lives. Hi, I'm Jason Ramsden, and I believe we can all work on leading a more positive and intentional life. And this show details my journey by sharing my learning stories and conversations with
guests. If you want to lead a more intentional life, focus on being the best you possible, please subscribe today. Now, let's get into today's episode. Hello, my positivity posse and welcome to another episode of positivity on fire. Today, we're taking a look at how we can show up for ourselves and others. By using mindfulness to overcome our monkey minds. monkey mind is just what psychologists describe as a state of being unsettled, restless or confused, and is
taken from Zen Buddhism. Now I know we've all had restless minds, and I'm been dealing with a bit of unsettledness, myself recently. So let's get going with today's topic and dive right in. Resistance never eases our suffering, it only adds a second layer to our pain. Ultimately, it's only when we loosen our grip that we set ourselves free. Tomorrow, love
it. And I started today's show with that specific quote because it's one that I posted recently and had a little little bit of a debrief on in terms of being able to loosen the illusion of control in our lives. And I had a comment from a friend of mine who posted it says how does one loosen the grip of a mind that has other plans. And I thought to myself, well, my friend is having these questions. And
perhaps others are as well. And I know myself, I'm running through a couple of things where the monkey mind is getting in the way it's a little unsettled. It's a little restless. And so I thought okay, let's dive into that topic today. But before we get into kind of mindfulness and how to use it to overcome the monkey mind, let's talk about what is the monkey mind you may or may not have heard that phrase before, it's pretty common to talk about the things that happen in our minds what's
going on. It's also what my friend called the grip, right? So I'm going to equate the monkey mind to this grip on our mind. First off, let's, let's say the mind is a wonderful thing, right? It allows us to be creative, that allows us to be productive. It allows us to unearth big ideas, but it's also always in conflict with our heart, right? They say, you know, the mind and the heart, they need to be in simpatico if if things are going in the right
direction. But oftentimes, the mind and the heart are at odds with each other. And that's where the monkey mind really starts to kind of get in the way in what it can do, right, the monkey mind can can set a sideways, it can get in the way of creativity and productivity, you can get in the way of big
ideas. Because that voice in our head can get in the way of what our heart wants to say, in all honesty, sometimes that the mind that voice that we hear, it turns dark, and it can, it can lead us down a path of feelings of fear and guilt and anger. And it can also evoke feelings of sadness, and envy and resentment. And what we really needed to do what we really need it to be, is have this sense of sense of lightness, right? In order for us to kind of let things go and to move on our
lives. We need to have this this lightness, this this sense of well being. And so we need to wrestle with this monkey mind. And that's I think that's the topic for today. That's what we're going to be focused on.
And the reason is if we focused too intently on our thoughts, there's a huge chance, a huge chance that we'll lose touch with the here and now because we go off on a tangent bidding in our minds, what could have been what should have been what can be and we get to ourselves to a point where we we lose ourselves, we lose ourselves, we allow the monkey mind to take control or as my friend said, we allow that grip on our mind to take over and we're not quite
sure how to move forward. Now one of the greatest examples of what a monkey mind is that I came across in my reading well first up the the mind has roughly 50,000 separate thoughts each day. Okay, imagine that for a minute right 50,000 separate thoughts. And oftentimes, they're about the same topic. So if you Well, here's, here's the
imagery. If you imagine each thought as a branch of a tree, and then you for say, your mind, your attention, your conscious mind is similar to a monkey, it's gonna swing from thought branch, the thought branch all day long. Now, if this sounds familiar to you, if this sounds like what your mind is doing everyday, it's normal, right? Don't feel like it's not normal. We all do it. We all have tons of thoughts every day, in a monkey in our mind is going to be jumping from branch to
branch. And quite often, these the thoughts that we're having, we're going to start with questions, and they're going to be alright, well, what if, how about questions that are in our minds that we kind of ruminate. And it could be about relationships, it could be about finances, it could be about things going on at work. But the root cause of them all typically tends to be irrational fears, irrational fears that you have about your life in some way,
shape, or form. And then when you feed, like when you feed the monkey in your head, by continually focusing on on things that you have no control over, you really don't, right, you if you're looking into the future, and worrying about what may or may happen next week, next month, next year, 10 years from now, you can't you can't control it, the monkey loves that, though they feed off of it. And that kind of spurs them through this, you know, jumping
through your mind. Now, I'm not here to suggest that you can actually tame the monkey in your minute, it's not going to happen. Alright, it's too much embedded in our brains. What we're going to focus today on is how you can use mindfulness in a mindfulness practice, to help alleviate some of the feelings that you have, how you can use strategies to kind of let those thoughts dissipate, move on, allows you to get a little bit more clarity, a little bit more focus. And that's the point of a
mindfulness practice. So when my friend asked me, How do you loosen the grip on your mind, like when your mind has a grip on you, I should say, how do you loosen it? Like what are tips and tricks that can happen? And my response, my comment back was, you know, for me, it's all about breath, work, breath, work and meditation. And I know, you're, if you don't believe in this, you may feel like it sounds a little crunchy granola, a little New Age kind of stuff. And the truth is, I didn't
believe in it before. And by beforehand, me my entire life, until I started my own journey back in December 2020. Right in the midst of the pandemic, I had a lot of things going on, in my mind, a lot of things taking place. And I wanted, I wanted to try something different. And that's where my meditation practice came in. My mindfulness practice came to light. And I've been doing it December 3, that was the first day. And it's been continual every single day, typically in the mornings,
sometimes at night. But it has been a way for me to try and find some clarity to try and deal with the thoughts that come up in my mind. And it's a morning routine, typically, that, for me, has been like no other. We have done it 300 and whatever days now, and and what I'll say about mindfulness and meditation practice is you need to find what works best for you. Alright, so we're talking about the monkey mind and a mindfulness practice. And so what is a mindfulness practice?
Exactly? At the very basic level, a mindfulness practice is something that allows us to put some space between ourselves and our react reactions. So our reactions to our thoughts or reactions to things that happen in our lives. And it helps us break down our conditioned responses. Yes, over your lifetime, you have learned and I have learned people have learned how to respond to stimuli in
certain ways. And like anything else, we have to unlearn that conditioned response, we have to unlearn how we have been taught to respond to external stimuli, to our thought process to things that are going on in our lives. So base the basics here of a mindfulness practice, are number one, you have to set aside time that that can be you know, a long amount of time to be a short amount of time for me. It's 10 minutes, 10 minutes a day. You don't need anything you don't need like a cushion or a
band. Sure, a meditation room in your house. Now, it can be anywhere, you don't need any special equipment at all to access mindfulness skills, but you do need to set aside some time and a space. Okay, for me, that is in our sunroom on a couch that kind of has a little bit of a stiff back. So I can sit up straight, but it could be anywhere, it could be at the kitchen table, it could be in your car, before you head to work or before you head home
from work. Whatever works best for you just need to set aside time and space. The second component is you need to observe the present moment as it is like right in the present moment. So the idea of mindfulness is not about quieting your mind, right, we know that we've got the monkey mind, we know that that the thoughts are going to jump from branch to branch. What observing the present moment is, is not chasing the monkey from branch to branch in our brains, trying to keep up with it,
trying to move with it. No way we could never do that. And be when we observe the present moment, we attempt to kind of achieve this state of calm, a state of clarity. And the goal is pretty simple here, okay, we're aiming to pay attention to the present moment, without any judgement at all. We're not judging our thoughts. Okay, that's where we get in trapped in kind of this cycle of having our mind have a grip on us. So going back to what my friend
said, How do you loosen it? It's we're aiming to pay attention to the present moment without any judgement at all. Okay, now, that's easier said than done. I get it. I get it. I've been doing for a while now. And I still have judgment about my thoughts. Yeah, we all do. It's it's human nature. The next step in the process has, you got to let your judgments just roll on. Okay. Think of it. When we talk about a duck with water off its back. It's the same concept. When judgment arise in our
thinking. And this is going to happen a lot, when you're just sitting with yourself. When that takes place, you got to just you got to make a mental note of them, you got to just let them float by you. And you have to let them pass. I know, again, easier said than done. But once you learn to kind of just say, okay, recognize that thought, I'm gonna just let it go on a comeback to the present moment, your mind will settle for for a minute or two, and then the monkey will start jumping
branches again. But if you acknowledge it, and you let it go, when that happens, just return to the present moment, again, our minds will get carried away. That's just how life works. That's how our minds work. That's how we're designed and built to be. And so we will, we'll get carried away and thought the, the idea of mindfulness is returning over and over and over and over again, to the present moment.
When you think about the past, or you think about the future, okay, the past is something that's in the past, it's done, you can't fix it. Right. And in the future, you can't control it, the only thing that you can have control over that you can fix is like how you are operating right now, right in the present moment. So mindfulness is all about bringing that present moment
back to us. And finally, you have to be kind to your wandering mind, as thoughts crop up, your mind will wander off, just gently bring it back, gently bring it back to the present moment, remind yourself that the past is the past, and the future is something that you can't control. So again, those steps where you have to set aside time and space, you observe the present moment, as it is no judgment, no judgment,
you let them roll. When things do go awry, or your mind starts to wander, just bring yourself back to the present moment. And then just be kind to yourself, be kind to your wandering mind. Those are the five steps. And I know, it sounds super easy, very simple. But it is never easy to sit with yourself for 10 minutes, there's going to be a lot of things that come up for you, especially if you're dealing with things. And so you just need to keep working at it
just like anything else. Any other routine, you're going to start any other thing you're going to change in your life. It's going to take time, but the compound effect of the results will be staggering. And I know that sounds perhaps exciting, perhaps scary. But if you go down the path of trying to practice mindfulness, I guarantee I don't guarantee much in this world, but I guarantee we'll find some benefits. So that's the overarching part.
Let's dive into here. What do you have to do to have just a very simple meditation practice? A simple mindfulness practice, and one you have to be comfortable. So find a spot we talked about the couch that I sit in with a little bit of firmer back, because I do want to be present. I don't want to have a rounded back and slough off into kind of dreamland. So you want to sit comfortably. And then you want to notice like, what is your body doing right? What are your legs doing? Are
they crossed? Are you sitting kind of with your feet on the floor, make sure you straighten your upper body, right, that's that slouch back, you want to straighten up a little bit. Then notice what your arms are doing and they crossed, you know, are they tense, just let them fall all naturally. Soften your gaze, you can even close your eyes, I like to close my eyes, and then feeling your breath, right. I even like to count my breath like a three count in and a three count out to get a really
good pattern going. And then notice when your mind wanders from your breath, when you're not tracking your breath, and your mind wanders, come back to the breath counted again, start counting again. Focus on your breath behind that wandering mind. Again, no judgment. And then when you are ready, come back, right. So let's say we're doing a 10 minute meditation. When you're ready, just gently
lift your gaze, right? If they were, if they were close, start to move your fingers and your toes, come back to the moment notice sounds in your environment, and then take a look and measure like what what does your body feel like in that moment? What thoughts and emotions are you feeling? What comes up for you? What I've learned most about my mindfulness practice is when I am mindful with my own thoughts, I find that when I'm present with others, that I start to be more mindful in listening to
what's happening. Alright, so this is this ultimately becomes not just about you, obviously, you're becoming a better person through this practice. But it's also allowing you to become a better person for others. And I think anytime we're talking about improving ourselves, yes, that's the main goal. But it's but when we focus on improving ourselves, it also allows us to have better relationships with
those around us. So what I will encourage you to do is just find time again, find time during the day to walk through this practice. And you will find that it'll start to loosen and grip on your mind. So that's my recommendation. I feel like it's been a huge game changer for me. I am still a work in progress. I think everybody is a work in progress. Nobody has done. There's no one right answer. There's no one way to say okay, I am better now.
No, we're all constantly working on ourselves and we should be working on ourselves. And and using mindfulness to overcome your monkey mind is just one tactic that you can consider. So I'd love to hear how it's going. You can drop me a note at Jason, at positivity on fire calm. I'd love to know how the practice is going for you what's working, what's not working? Do you have any questions? Let's connect. let's engage me happy to be of help to you in your journey as
well. If you like today's episode, please do me a favor give us a five star rating. wherever you happen to listen, make sure you share this episode. Word of mouth is the only way that the message of my show will grow to others. And then finally, as I close every show, thank you for being here today, my friends. Your gift of time listening to this show does mean the world to me. And as always, be well be happy, be you and until the next time may your quest for positivity begin
today. For more on my positivity quest follow me at underscore j y Ramsden on Instagram Tick Tock and Twitter. If you liked today's episode, please give us a five star rating and review on your favorite podcast app or visit. Jason calm and search for positivity on fire. Positivity on fire is a production of impact one media LLC. All rights reserved.