10. The Art of Conversation Post Pandemic

world? Have you relied on social media, video conferencing and short interactions to the point of losing what it means to have a deep conversation? Not sure. Then let's dive into today's show. Let's go. So that was thinking the other day this this episode, when it goes live on Saturday, March 27, it'll be about a year, from the beginning of the pandemic here in the US more or less. Things have started to to heighten in the

Washington area and Seattle. And over the course of the last 12 months and still continuing here as people are starting to get vaccinated. Over the next couple of months. We'll call it the next six to nine months, we'll still be in this state of pandemic and COVID fear and preparation, I started to think over the last 12 months, people have really turned inward. We zoom call, we binge Netflix more than ever, we've turned to social media to connect to people and have conversations.

And I've started to wonder a little bit, what is it going to be like post pandemic, when we can gather again, and we can see our friends and we can be in larger groups and have conversations? Will we have lost the art of conversation here in the United States? It's something I've been thinking about a little bit recently, because a friend of mine sent me an article from the New York Times called nine non obvious ways to have a deeper conversation. And yes, it's an

op ed piece. And I said New York Times. But please, don't stop listening just because those two things are together if you don't agree with the information that comes from that particular piece of media, but the topic itself, how to have deeper conversations really sparked or piqued an interest for me. And so I spent the last week or so really diving into what does this mean? Like? Why what is the art of

conversation? And And specifically, what will it look like when we come out of this pandemic era will have people lost that art for the people who had it or for the people who had never had it will they continue to be more short soundbite move along and not want to socialize with people in a way that allows for deep conversations. And so I'd like to open that topic up here a little bit. And think a little bit more deeply about it with you, if you'll allow me

that opportunity. And what piqued my interest from this particular New York Times piece was a talk to the sub title of the article was the art of making connection, even in a time of dislocation. And what I appreciated about this particular piece is that it did come out right before Thanksgiving. And I know lots of people did not gather for Thanksgiving and did not gather for the holidays. Were Christmas and Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa in

December. And while many people connected via zoom, it doesn't really offer people the ability to have deep conversations. And I wonder when we get out of the pandemic, are we going to really enjoy the opportunity that is put before us. And I say enjoy because we will have an amazing opportunity to dig deep into the lives of our friends when we have the ability to gather with them again. And in this article, the nine non obvious ways to have deep conversations. I really love the first point that

Brooks makes in this article. He says we need to approach conversations in the future with all and I appreciate that as the starting point. Because think about this for a moment. We all are unique. There's no question about it. Every single human being is unique. And I believe every single human being has a story to tell has something to

impart to one another. And the lessons learned, I think from each of us over the last 12 months or the last 18 months when we finally have a chance to really gather perhaps like we used to gather, if you approach every conversation with a sense of awe that you can learn something from the other person that that person is a miracle that they have something to offer superior to your own experience in some way and they do because everybody's

experiences are different. If you approach conversations like that in the future, I for 1am excited about what that is holds for all of us as we start to sit down and have these deep conversations with our friends. And I would encourage you, as we start to reconnect, you'll take the time to be invested in those

conversations. Right now, the consumption of social media, that consumption of Netflix and binge eating and show binge eating, and constantly being on our phones or on the computer or zoom calls that make it hard for us to pay attention. Number one, there is no partial attention, I don't believe when we start to have conversations, again, face to face, I want you to think of it as the faucet is either on or

off. You're either paying attention to the conversation, and you're deep in it, or you're not, there is no partial attention. And then I think in the post pandemic, age of deep conversation, and I think there's a, there's a couple of things that you can do, and I'm going to work on this myself as well. Because I think it's important, I think, I think it's super important as we start to reconnect and re engage, to make our conversations with others a

priority. And you could do that by again, having full attention in the conversation. But other ways that you can kind of bring that deep sense of conversation together, is so number one is don't ask closed ended questions? What's a closed ended question? A closed ended question is when you can only receive a yes or no answer to

the question that you ask. Ask open ended questions, start your questions with what or how, as soon as you start to do that you give the power of the conversation over to the person

to whom you're speaking. And when you start to do that, ask your questions to you that are like elevated questions, raise them up, ask questions along the lines of during the last 18 months, were there things that you used to be, let's say committed to that you were passionate about that you may not be anymore, because you haven't had a chance to get back

to Ruby involved with it? I think a super powerful question that you could ask in the age of reconnection post pandemic would be what do you feel most grateful for in your life right now? the experiences that we've all shared? What's most grateful for you? Was there anything that you had the ability to turn a quarter on to improve in your life? What was that? What was

the experiences? Like? How did you bring that sort of joy and experience into your life, because of the, the quarantine or because of the things that you were facing during the Age of the pandemic. And when you start to do these types of

things. And this article really points this out, is when you make them, the author of the story, author of the conversation, where they can really tell you how things have gone in their lives, where all of a sudden, it makes for this incredibly robust conversation. It allows for wider perspectives and more information, and things that you can gather and glean, as you reflect on your life over the last 12 months, or 18 months, or whatever it may have been, as we have all gone

through this together. And this, this all comes down to, I think, a mindfulness practice of being mindful of how you engage in conversation. Don't fear the pause, if you ask a powerful question that starts with the what are the how allow them time to process and think don't fill the void of quiet with your own voice? And I'd be super curious to to know, kind of what is your thoughts about this moving forward? What are some things that you think will will take

place? I'd love to have a conversation with you about about that. So go to direct.me slash Jason Ramsden, hop onto one of the social media sites or accounts that I have, and let's

connect and talk. Because I think it's such an important topic and conversation for us to be involved in and I want to bring awareness to, to the fact that as we emerge from this quarantine life, that there's a good chance that the art of conversation will be missing, because we have been so neglect to have that in our lives, that there may be this desire this want this free flowing of Let me tell you everything that's happened in the last year, sort of conversation style, as

opposed to being really invested in what happened to the other person as opposed to yourself if you're a little wary of small talk or having these deep conversations or having to face that in the future. I do have a couple of tips and tricks for you in terms of Mastering the Art of conversation. that I learned in my research on this topic, and I will share those with you in just a second. So stick around. Okay, welcome back. We're talking the art of conversation in a post pandemic

life. And if you're fearful of doing the small talk thing, or the deep conversation thing, and I think they can be the same. So oftentimes people say, oh, small talk is just kind of passing the time, I think there's gonna be a big bigger place for small talk that will lead into deep conversations, once we all start to socialize again. And you can't go wrong with these tips from an article called Mastering the Art of conversation from medium.com. And the tips were

pretty good. So number one, and this, this is great if you're an introvert or an extrovert. I think that the juxta, the article was more focused on folks that are introverted. But the tip still, I think, apply for everybody. As we emerge post pandemic, and we start to gather in bars and restaurants and in people's homes, and backyard barbecues, and neighborhood and neighborhood potlucks, I think you're going to find these tips

and tricks valuable. So number one, starting off a conversation, greet the other person with a compliment. And that could be your best friend, it could be your neighbor, it could be somebody hadn't seen in a while, it could be a stranger to I think these, these tips work really well to stand in line at the grocery store, or stand in a line at Starbucks or stand in a line anywhere, and just strike up a conversation. So start with a compliment. And

what does that mean? You know, a lot of times for me, I'll start the conversation. Hey, I'm really, especially if it's a stranger, I appreciate your energy have today. And I know you may be saying yourself, Jay, listen, I'm not a conversation starter. I don't like to start conversations. You can do it. I believe in you, you can. And here are a couple things that you could do that Dandan in line, you could just ask a question of somebody. And here are the ones they offer in this

article. I have a couple others that I'll share. But here's some phrases that you can simply greet somebody with. If you're at Starbucks, for example, as the bracer Hey, have you ever purposely misspelled someone's name on their cup? Or what's the craziest order you got this week? Or hey, how's your morning going? Or if you're got somebody that you're passing by, say, Good morning, Where are you off

to? As we get back to the workplace, and you find that you're re engaging with members of your team or re engaging with other people with whom you work? I think a great conversation starter is I really appreciate X, Y, or Z. I really appreciate how you approach that conversation yesterday, or I really appreciate the energy that you brought to that meeting last week, when you're brave enough to start a conversation

with those phrases. It could open the door to a deeper conversation or more meaningful conversation as you get into the conversation. Listen, listen, listen, listen more than you speak. And then start to ask questions that show interest of the other person there are, they're great phrases like, oh, tell me more. Or Oh, how so? Or fascinating what happened next. And I think it has to go without saying, make sure you're positive. Right? This this whole podcast is about being positive

and sharing positivity. And as soon as you open the door to deeper conversations, as we start to get back together with our friends and families and others, you will find that a whole new world of experiences and lessons learned will be open to you. And if having small talk or deep conversations is a struggle for you. Here's some things also to keep in mind that you shouldn't do. I think this one goes without saying, but don't interrupt the

conversation. I know you may I have a thought that pops into your mind. But let them finish, let them pause. Here in the US, we're not really good at taking advantage of the pause. I think other countries do a much better job of providing a pause of significant length. And when I say significantly, I'd say longer than five seconds, but no more than 10. Here in the US if there's two seconds of quiet, somebody in the conversation wants to jump in. They don't really like to leave space for

thought. If you happen to be in groups of people. Try not to talk to just one person in the group. spread yourself around. Again, we're going to be gathering with people that we haven't seen in a while we're going to have amazing opportunities to learn stories about people's experiences through the pandemic, and lessons learned. Make sure that

you share the wealth. Of course while you're doing that, make sure you don't overshare deep conversations can be had without over sharing information as well.

And I would also say, you know one other thing to keep in mind is don't try to one up Yeah, if somebody's sharing a conversation about something that they did, don't come over the top with something that you did similarly, that seems to be in bigger fashion, or more important, all that does is, is show not that you've had a greater experience, but it shows insecurities that you may have in your story, and in your life, so so make sure that you don't

do that as well. The number one thing that you could do when you're having conversation is just be transparent and natural and engaged, we're gonna have such an incredible opportunity to reconnect with people. And I am hopeful, seriously hopeful that when we do have that capability, when that time comes, that we don't waste it, that we really leverage this

unique time. And I know a lot of people have gone through a lot of things in the pandemic, and that lives have been lost, and people have struggled, and people's jobs have gone away. And they've struggled to meet bills. And there have been, you know, great issues that have happened in this country over the last 12 months. But I want to make sure that you don't forget about the opportunity that will be laid at our feet

here shortly. And that is the opportunity to connect with another human being one on one, or in small groups to learn through verbal communication. And this is going to take us back we're going to go back in time to how things used to be done, how stories were shared, how information was transferred. And I'd hate for us to lose that opportunity here in the next six

to 12 months. Now, if you're curious about how to do these types of things, you can Google Art of conversation, and get more results than you could ever imagine from books and videos and tips and tricks. And you could dive deep into this. And the truth is, I think you should I think you should i think i think you should take the time to focus on how to improve the art of conversation, because it will be more meaningful in the months ahead than it has ever

been in our lifetime. And if you need any relevant piece of information to prove that more than anything else, go ahead, go ahead and Google the art of conversation, and then click on news. And even in the last week, you have titles of articles and blog posts and information on the web, where the titles are mobile phones and the dying art of conversation, society, the dying art of conversation 10 expert back tips to help you have better conversations, and not that I'm a fan of this one.

But 30 conversation starters for texting that go beyond Hey, I'd be deeply saddened if, after being quarantined for a year or more, and not having the opportunity to be with others that our conversations start with, Hey, what's going on? Now, this is a topic that really gets you excited that you want to learn more about you want to have a conversation about then please by all means direct.me slash Jason Ramsden, hop onto one of my social media sites. As I've always said, let's have a

conversation. Let's get deep into this topic. I'd love to know your thoughts about the art of conversation post pandemic, and whether or not you see the world continuing to be caught up in small talk and sound bites. Or will people really get back to how it used to be moons ago, when you could really sit down face to face and have a deep conversation with somebody because you haven't been connected to them in short

bursts? Because you actually haven't seen them in a while that's really going to take place in the next 12 to 24 months. As the United States opens up as people start to get back together. We are going to want to engage in deep conversations with those who are most important to us in our lives, whether that's family, friends, or even strangers. So in closing today, I do a thank you for being here. I say it every time. Your gift of time listening to this show. Absolutely does mean the world

to me. And always remember, be well be happy, be you and until the next time, may your quest for positivity begin today. If you like today's episode, please go to pod chaser.com search for positivity on fire and leave a five star rating and review. For more on my positivity quest follow me at positively underscore j on Instagram for Tiktok orange With the show by visiting direct.me slash Jason Ramsden have an amazing day.