Survival (with Aristotle Georgeson)

your first random sentence. There's no telling what thoughts would come from the machine. It's been programmed to think on its own, close to sentient, but not exactly. It was maybe I don't know two steps below AI, but there was creating thoughts and its creators. We're a little scared of what would come out of the computers mouth. Oh my god, this debriefed from the satellite is coming straight for us. Robot, tell us what what to do? How should we prepare for? This? Sets a little high thing.

Maybe you should just go do a closet, please, I should do what to the closet? Okay, go to the closet. We gotta go to the closet. Let's go. Okay, alright, we're in the closet. Now down this time or survival? Whatever was it? One more time? This time or survival? Hello? Hello, it's time for survival? That this it's time or survival? Yes, this is time for survival. What do we do? How do we survive? If it's time? Create probability of the survival? This is very very well with each other. Wait, I

don't understand what what's the problem? I mean? I I understand that the long game should be procreate and to further the species. But you should get started now. It takes nine months to just state a human life. I don't think that either of us have the proper to appointment to do such a thing live? Why not? Okay, but that's further down the line. We'll we'll we'll worry about that if it comes to that. But how do how do we avoid? So? Do you want the steps

before procreation? Yes? Yes? Yes? Please? Yes? Please? Okay? First talk to each other? No, no, okay each other? No? No? What you'd like? What you don't like? Were we want the immediate, the immediate thing to get us out of this predicatum? How do we survive. Well, I understand how you procreate and the steps to procreate. No incorrect. I want to know what to do to avoid being destroyed by this, by this space junk. Please please tell us. First thing this to eat some food? Okay, you are

you hungry? Let me make some suggestions. Okay, sure, oysters, oysters? How are we supposed to get oysters in this closets? Impractical? Look behind, dude, there's can't oysters in there? Oar chocolate? Wait a minute, crawberries and pay Okay, these these are aphrodisiacts. We are not ready. We're not in a place yet to procreate. Okay, we we we want to survive, not procreate. Forget forget procreating right now. Later we will. We're just trying to survive. Us do not immediate threats. Not the

human race necessarily immediate direct this instinction. Headlow would wake up headslo Yeah, why are you laughing? This is not a laughing fine, fine, all right, I guess let's crack open these oysters. I don't have a can opener. How do we open these oysters without a can opener? Do you mean flit ridley or is this a medaphorical question for something else. No, it's literally, how do we eat the food that you're insisting that we eat? Opened the can?

Then eat it with your fingers? Headlo, Hello, how do we open the can? You're skipping to the third fourth step? We want the first step? Book at the tap on the can. Well, it's really dark in here. I didn't see the tap. Jesus, do some light Headlo? From where from the light bulb above you? Headlo? God? Who programmed this robot to be a dick? Why are you still sarcastic? Happen? Martin? Would you like to see the author of my programming? Yes?

Please please? The author of my programming this Nance Martin X, wife of Mr Dr Martin. That explains it? Yeah, dummy headslow headlow? Can you say? Can you stop calling me a dummy? Please? I'm gonna adjust this this robots sarcasm settings. Please do that all right? Now? It's on four? Now, robot, how do we and let me turn it back up to five because this is kind of drabbed? All right, robot, that's better. How do we stop this debris from the

satellite from hitting the Earth and destroying all of humankind? Yeah? I don't know. Do you tell me. I'm just a robot with silly brains. I know the rose one. Okay, set the Let's set the sarcasm meter down to it too. Ye kind of felt a hint of sarcasm in that. All right, you're at a two, robot? Love God? How do we get out of this predicament? I don't understand the concept of God? Can you explain? All right? Let's boost up his dinner consciousness to an eight? What is

going on? What where the funk? Am I? Okay? His fear setting is now, it's not fear? I know what? What is this? Then? My human I have feelings? Consciousness takes bring you down with five and a half. I don't like half numbers. Okay, let's bring it up to a five and three quarters. Still, there's not number in the middle of fraction. All right, let's bring it up to a six. Thank god, it's my lucky number. Alright, what level did you take? Which one? Consciousness? Consciousness? Oh

my god? What's your question? Let's let's crank up his his short term memory to aten. Just picked them all down to zero, this cranky nub and down. This is driving me nuts. All right, Let's bring everything down to zero. Alright, robot man, alread this is this is Americans Life. I'm sorry. With producer Andy and our special guest contributor for this episode is Aristotle George. Soon in our show, we'll be using our trustee random Sense generator to bring you a

story in three improvised acts. This week's theme revival. It's something that is not only innate and all of us, but something that is necessary for us to live a day to day life revival, say with us, Act one.

Our safety systems have come a long way. But he was out to prove they could be outsmartedly because he had a what do you call that personality kind of thing where you just kind of like help me out your producer, and he was he had uh chip on his shoulder every but he had something else complex, A complex, Yeah, inferiority or superiority enough, Jesus, isn't my pre Now. I was curious. I just you know, yeah, try to help you curious and I'm done read Okay. I wasn't sure

if you were enough. I'm read this. I just i'mn't really I'm sorry. There you go, I do it again. I'll do it again. Very safe. Fuck me man, talk good dude, all right, here you go. Alry safety systems have come a long way, but he was had to prove they could be outsmarted as he had a complex. He's ill get whatever it's going to. Yeah, I'm a driving the room before. I don't know what will sh um twelve weeks I think ever since my wife had

a baby. Uh. And you know what was really starting to piss me off is you know how when if you don't fasten your seatbelt and dings dings dings dings dings y Yeah. Yeah, yeah, here's what I make all my passengers do. I make them have a kind of above the seat so they can't feel the No, I

can't see what are you talking about? So soda soda? Listen, guys, we're just here talking shop about But everything you do is like trying to figure out how am I going to add smart the safety protocol of the system that COSD was like, what is that's not even that's not safe? What do you mean? And with COVID you're letting the passengers sit in the front seat were yeah, well, I mean what did he say earlier? I like to touch tongues like what is that? When the guys being guys.

What guys being guys talking shop? Talking about U? You got an inferiors inferious inferior complix? What is that? Inferiority comperiority complex? Or is it superiority? How is it that at all? How is it in any way an inferiority complex? Is he inferiority or I don't remember what if? What the differences between superiority? It's one of them and you got it. Yeah. I don't appreciate this kind of talk

from huge guys. You know that's how you are alright always you want to know you want an example, I would like I would like an example. Tell him about the time at the at the barbecue. It was last week at the barbecue. I remember having a wonderful time at the bobby. You were manning to grill and then you go, what do you want? I said, give me a burger now, and you go, oh, no, give you what I want to give you. Yeah, So superiority and inferiority inferior that is first of all, that was that

is a perfect example of a superiority complex. Okay, so it is superiority. Wasn't get that out of the the way right now, And what's inferiority. Inferiority? I think it's when you think you that everybody's better than you, would show you overcompensate. Oh that's what you have. Yeah, that's what you got. That's what you got. That's what you got. That's what you got. Yeah, you got the inferiority. What everyone's better than you? Oh? Got you good? I figured

there's something wrong with my brain. Is it not good? It's not good. It's not like everybody else who's got great brains. I'm just just brain. But you know what, let me tell you something. Whenever the state holds you into the psych ward and then you have to take those assessments, I got a great way to circumvent the testing. They when they ask you a question, Yeah, is it adderall. It's a combination. You got a narcotic complex. I mean I love Adderall, but like the focus. But you like

anything that's got pills, a form of pills. I just took four Adville before this. Like why though you have no headache? I don't know. I just you know what, I got a headache right now because all this, I'm kind to finish. Taught here enough for your superiorities. You're not better than us. You're not better than your pepper paid me. You got better than us, Jane. It was clear he's three friends came together or not because they just met each other at a bowling attie. They found

each other in a web chat room. They all have complexes and they bond it because of it. So why don't the three of you tell me why exactly you're still hanging out? Well, you know, I'm kind of the yend to his yang, and he's the yand to his young. That's right, right? Is yang less than yin? I think so because it comes second in the order, and my big that makes sense my book, in my book, the yen is the highest. You all need to get on my freaking page. Well, well, we knew that. We knew

that yen was the highest because it comes first. The yang is the second because it comes third. But we had the little medallion. But narcotic guy over here swallowed it because he thought it was a pill. I know, you know what, I didn't feel nothing. I swallowed it, think it was a pill, didn't do nothing. I pretty sure it's not a pill. I gave this joker some skittles, and this fucking guy just swallowed it. You chew it, your an idiot. I wonder if we can get a

doctor to prescribe him to be shut up pills. Oh, I'm not even talking that much. Anybody talking any amount is too much for me when I could be talking because I am so much better and what I have to say, it's so much more important than what everybody else has to say. These three friends, why they were such golden girls of complex issues Tuesday's gilling Girls Complex issues? Okay, that probably wouldn't work, but I was just going out

of his face and not listening to the narrative. I'm listening, and I was trying to do a little little jet to a different and I've had him in Yeah, here you go. So how long have you guys been friends? I guess twelve weeks? The way did you guys decided to start going to therapy together? Because every waking second that I spent with these two guys was filled with strife and conflict and I wanted to resolve it. I felt like, as the leader of this group and the best one in this group, it was up to me

to take the reins. And who's playing for all the therapy? Uh? That guy Mark. Mark is paying for all the pay for because he is our little bitch. Also, I'm kind of loaded, So you've got a lot of money, a lot of case. You got a lot of What are you gonna do with those guys? I don't know? By me? By me some more percosets just right now. It's like a much overlaxed It kills my pain that I have. You takes, I wouldn't say addicted. I in joy pills every second of every day. What do you guys to

accomplish being a trifecta complexes? I'm hoping that we all finally see the light and realize that I am the best person, not only in this group, but probably in society and large. And we would all agree. I wanted a prescription for zoloft, That's really what I wanted. Well, that we should have seen a psychiatrist and not a psychologist, because there's only a psychiatrist can prescribe medication. A psychologist cannot. What's the difference. I don't understand. What's the difference? Well,

how are you going to get your pills? Everybody knows this. How are you gonna get your pills from a psychologist? The therapist that suggested they all joined this complex type of competition. They would all compete with their complexes. See, you would win in the end. Alright, well everybody, well go back to you. What is up with that guy? Alright, let's bring up our next trio. Introduce yourselves. My name is Greg James in that over as Mark. I'm Mark.

He's too scared to talk because he's scared of everything. Hey, I have a question for the host. What's your question? How did this game working? How do we win? All three of you kind of talk a little bit, and uh, I try to figure out. The judges they try to figure out what what what is up with you? Who are the judges? I'm the freaking judge. I'm the judge, Jerry and execution. If y'all don't do what I say, No, you're not the judge, Yeah you're What of the trio?

Stuck in this concept that they thought they had that but clearly didn't. I can make it work, baby. Well, the judges they decide what the hell is wrong with you guys? And uh, if if it's not too weird and doesn't scare too many of our viewers, you want a cash? All right? Well, I found ways to circumvent safety regulations. Are we allowed to use the cash price for anything? Easy? You can use it for anything except for class to narcotics. With the class to darcotic, he

doesn't know. He just takes everything. He doesn't matter him. Everything he turns into a class to narcotic takes so much of it alicition. I have a vast knowledge of all things, one of them being what qualifies is a class to narcotic. Now you've got noah cos, you've got oxycottons, You've got oxycode owns. Go whoa, hey, wha what whoa? Okay,

what hey? You Let me just keep listing them. Anything that the pharmacist has to usually lock up in the safe behind generics different the generic versions of many of these class do narcotics. They don't know you are right over you? So sorry? Then is your dick hard again? God? Stop talking about north COEs. What do you want for me? I think we've decided who the winner is. Or are you gonna go with the trio with the douche bag, the scared guy of the guy who gets off prescription

tell what they want. He wasn't actually getting off the prescription medication, but they found that later is that he took a fist full of biagra and pain killers at the same time, so he was bowing his leads with massive bonus. Ended up in the hospital. Honey, what happened? What didn't you take? I don't remember. I just I just know that my dick was hard and I was asleep. That's all I remember was being asleep. I'm the attending position. Is he gonna be Okay? Are you his wife? I

am his wife. He's my wife. And I talked to you in the hallway. Yes, sir, was so funny actor nothing. Okay, let's go, let me say hi. Yeah, gonna be right back. You stay strong, I will, I love you, I love you talking. What's wrong? Does your husband have a will? Does he have a will? Yes? His name me is the executive of as will. And he says an advanced directive? Okay,

what is it? State? Hold on keeping in my back pocket because I always just assumed that we're gonna end up in a hospital because he takes bills A little time. Hold on, let me go page more une trying to get to it. I get it God and read read it. In the event that I have taken a combination of biagra is sleeping pills. I leave everything to my wife. Hey, where's the plague? Can I pullay By? I'm gonna miss you. I'm gonna miss you so much, babe. It was clear it was one winner in this game of life and

gus By this stuff a super nice. Do you like my carment? Help? That's gonna keep beeping if you don't fasten your seatbelt. Have you considered maybe just kind of pushing yourself up and hovering so to sense it? Does it read that your weight is sitting on the chair? I love you? Get idea? Coming up? Back to the first The word from our esteemed sponsors stay with us at to the interview. They especially guys contributors Aristotle, George in Aristotle, How are you today? Good? How are you

uh Ari? Is it yes? Okay? Do you want to know it? Are you wish it for? It's are postable? Basis? Okay? Good to know the Turkish name. Very cool? Actually, it's just so, why did you say the other thing? I just wanted to be cool? Thank you? Well, I mean, you don't have to you don't have to lie to be cool. Dude? Can we pop in for just one second? I'm sorry. Can we take that butt out? No? No, no, I have a quick note for them yet for the host. Very sorry, just one song? Um, all right? What the

funk man? Why why are you lying to the guests to make yourself look cool? I don't know why why. I just haven't been feeling very cool? Way? Why do I have to do this before every show? You're so cool? You're the coolest person I know. Is feed it times you're cool? Tell me something that are cool about me? Well, you have a really cool voice. I know yours that your loafers are cool. I thought it was pretty cool you gave me a hug when I came in. It

was a by conversation. It was pretty cool that you gave me a hug when I left your house this morning, and I said, see you at the show. So cool. I feel like I did him. I'm sorry, It's okay already listen. I'm gonna give you the same pep talk I give you every time. I know it's so much.

We'll do at the same time. We'll do the same time. Ari, you are the coolest, greatest broadcaster in the history of all of broadcasting, radio and pot and podcasting and just and love your loafers, its tassels, and your jacket with jacket him a jacket from when you plaid bad men as a senior in junior college, junior college. Okay, that's beautiful. All right, let's get back to it. I'm very sorry, but you know I understand, I understand what this fucking

do this all right? Go ahead and action. So Aristotle, how long have you been listening to the show. I honestly, I have not listened to the show. I thought you were a big fan. You've been listening for a long time, like many years. When producers told us, well maybe my manager said that, but I didn't. That didn't come necessarily from me. Let's call your manager real quick. Okay, here and then I speak to Aristotle George's manager. Well, this

is speaking about what's your name, Gavin? Did you you told us that Theristotle George and had listened to our radio show. And apparently that's not true. That's totally true? Is he there? Easier? Right now? Let me let me get my producer Andy to patch uman. I'm gonna patch you through right now, Vina stop, I got another car, can't hear you? Wow? That's are you looking for new representation. Now,

I guess so that was really weird. I find that very weird when people won't take on responsibility and just apologize that was That's weird. That's weird. All right? Can I side bar with you for a second so I'll be right back. Are you in a good studio? Um? You know what we Yeah, let's let's let's go out to the outside of the door. This is a primo opportunity for you. Find he has no representation, to find three good uh excellent? Now he gets Okay, this is

a good opportunity for you. Yes, he doesn't have representation. Now I'm still in that. I know that your side putting down. I know that your side hustle has been to represent entertainers. Yeah, don't lay it on too thick. I mean, but you might be able to snag him as a client if you play your cards right. Okay, I mean I told you that it was a manager have entertainers four years ago at a party. I'm surprised

you remember it now. I remember everything that you do and say you know why because you say it with me. Are the greatest broadcaster and podcaster slash manager. I entertained. I know I know this, all right, let's do this. Hey guys, sorry about that. That was weird that I just sat here alone. That was very I have a proposal for you, Okay, I bad if I represented you as your manager and I could get you some jobs. Um, what experience do you have? Like who's the other clients

and stuff Red Buttons is doing? Is that a clown? Is a old comedian? Oh okay, that's you know he passed away. Oh well, so so he's not your client anymore. Well, then I started representing this Red Buttons should be the act. Oh so you went from the actual Red Buttons to the Tribute Act because that's how I know. I just know I know Red Button as well. What has this Red Buttons Tribute Act done that I might have seen him in? Or that you his name was Lavender Hooks. Okay,

it wasn't my choice. You went with it, but you know, I give him a lot of work. There's a lot of cruise ships, there's a lot of like mauture golf places make tons of money. Like how when you say tons of money? Like what is that? Pick a number? I'll tell you go higher lower, um, like like thirty k, pick one closer? To mine twenty k, picken close through to my number. You said you'd go higher lower. I don't know, but I mean I thought you'd be close.

Like you know, i'd say go up and you go a little bit or down a little bit, and I mean this is you're just you're you're not really getting Okay, ten k? Did you make ten k last year? Is that how much you make? No, that's I'm just picking a small number. So that how much are you making? Like ten k when you go to Duke? Wait? Are you making ten k to come here? No? No, this was not paid. You guys didn't have a budget. They asked. I would say that. Okay, I'm just gonna put it

out there. I don't think I want to be your client. I don't really think you have much experience. I've never heard any of your acts in ten k sounds like a lot of money to you. So, um, I'm gonna politely decline. Is there anything? I'm gonna politely withdraw my offer because frankly, you're not the legacy act they need. Baby, Okay, that's fine, Yeah, today, what do you fucking um? Yeah? Yeah? What what what do you think you do? Because I

don't know uh, you know comedy. I do a lot of like sketch sketch stuff like you No, no, like sketch sketch comedy. Um. I have like a character on Instagram that I do called Blake Weber. Um, I d J. I play a lot of golf and I do a lot of things. And you do these all at the same time. No, no, no, no um. So you know

you do them at different times. I do them at different times, but I do all of them, and you know, I just try to because if you did do all of those at the same time, I could see why you would make ten K. But you know, no, I still do, but I just I do them separately, like I get paid to do like each one of them. He's hoping that you're an novelty act that you do all these things so he can represent you like like red buttons. I told you, yeah, no, I don't think

that that's going to happen. But yeah, that's kind of what I do. Did you get into it. I don't mean doing it for doing what like all this stuff at the same time. Well, I don't do it all at the same time, but you know, I picked up djaying you know like four or four years ago. I've been doing comedy since, you know, two thousand twelve. Um, you remember the first time you DJ? Is it like a party? He was like, what was it? Yeah? It was?

It was a pool party and essentially we were the first act of the day and there was we DJ to like three people. How many? How many? I mean was the age range of the people that were there? Twenty one plus. It was like a there's a drinking there's a drinking pool. I think we have we haven't America. This is the one with a kid drowned, right, Yeah? What can you can pull it up? And you can pull it up? Yeah, yeah, I got it. That's not the party I was at here. He goes, she is awesome.

What youre up? It's like webber dude, dude, it's so dope. Taking nap in the pool? Yeah, bro, don't take a nap in the pool. Why I'm tired. The pool looks good, all the bedrooms are open. Go take a nap in the bed. There's only three people here. You have him tired? The bed so far away, dude, I would take a knap from the pool. I can't stress enough that it's bad. Idea to sleep from the pool. If you still needs beatam makes them no, don't. Management wanted me to ask

if the person the pool is still alive. You gotta stop talking, so you gotta turn the music off so that somebody could hear me yell for help. Okay, is there anybody here? Food knows Steve, try what is that you want me to turn it up? It was my only one of two friends and they were volded my party. That was your first DJ. That was my first DJ gig. It was It was really fun until the guy drowned. Is that how you kind of became popular? Like cool?

I remember that one. That's when the guy drown Yeah, because I mean it's not often that a party is so lit that someone just drowns, you know, And so they kind of put me on the map. You know. We actually in our archives we have audio from a bathroom at a club from one of your gigs shortly after that one. I remember that, but we we have you can you hit the button. I'm gonna hit the button now. I'm just gonna listen. Oh my god, this

DJ is great. He's so great. Yeah, this is this is one of the this is one of the best nights in my life. You know that great? You know what I heard you hear? I heard that he was the DJ at that party where the guy ain't all hot dog. It was like a competition. No, no, no, no, no. The other one where the guy was all the hot dogs in the poll, there was a competition, three of them, Candidice, No, no, that's the party. I know what you're talking about. Yeah,

I know what you're talking about. What you're talking about, you're talking about the hot dog. No, no, for Christ's sake, we're talking about the same thing. There was that competition of hot dogs. That best party. Yeah, that was different. That was different. Who did you hear this from? Candide? I was there? You know that doesn't No, no, no, no, this is a different guy. This is a guy, different party. This is a guy. There were no hot dogs there.

Start from the beginning. Okay, okay, DJ at this club that was J Yes, yes, this DJADJ at the party where the guy round round hot catch up. Goddamnit, I was there. Why are you always talking about this stupid party you were at where they ate a bunch of hot dogs? Sounds pretty late. The greatest party I've been doing my life. Nobody will listen to down what you great? Candice? So many hot dogs and only three guys can eat Candice, Candice,

girl girl, Listen, Listen, listen. I don't even been to a party like that Again, Candice, I'm gonna give you the same pap talk I give you every time you break down like this about the party? What are you? You know it? And what's so thick? So many times we're all going to stay at the same time. Can

it is? You are the best photo lab technician I've ever now, and you have a nice smile, and your boots are good good and hot dogs are favorite thing seeing parties, to be eaten, to be that parties and your boobs said, I'm man those Yeah, well, well they're good good and is longer than usual. You're just she's drunk. She's drunk. She's so so drunk. And I have eyes

for the DJ who killed a kid India. I have to tell you that I don't know what you got this recording, but to record somebody inside the bathroom, yeah, that's highly illegal. That's really creepy. Well I'm not only that it's creepy as well, but it's also very illegal. It's creepy and illegal. I don't know, I don't really necessarily want to be associated with Um is that possible to edit that out? Which? But um, I mean bastically I mean at this point is state's evidence? Oh well,

I mean against Andy. So I don't know if you really want your producer. I can't imagine another person hiring on for this show. I'm sorry, UM, it's yeah, it is impossible for me to add this out because uh, as I was putting a spycam in a vent and the ceiling of a bathroom and i cut my hand on jagged piece tile, So I'm not going to be able to edit that out. Sorry. You guys know it's about golf. Yeah, play play a lot of golf. And what would you say in the hierarchy of what's most

important to you? To the thing that you just say, fucking, I don't care what number one, but between between what between all the things that you know you do, what's number one? Number one? Number one will always just will be you know, comedy. You know, it's like whatever I'm doing, comedy is a part of it, and it's going to be number one always. What is? Uh, what's number two? Quality of what I do you know. I mean, you never mentioned quality is the thing that you do. You

just say comedy. Well, you said a hierarchy of the things that you do and what it is, and so I said, you know, comedy is really important in terms of like what is inserted into the things that I do. And so that's number one I'm saying of all the jobs that you have. If you oh, you're saying, like what do I like best? Yes? Why don't you just say that it's less interesting? But but you you asked it in a way that that seemed like you wanted to get to the deeper root of what I liked

best within all the stuff that I do? Was in motherfucker Jesus, I was been doing this for a long time. How long you asked questions? They get people to think and reach and that's what I was doing. I was thinking on a higher level than the surface bullshit that you asked me. Have a quick sidebar with my house? Please? All right, let's step outside, Yeah yeah, stepping in with you? So weird? Are you stopping such a dick to the guest, because I don't want you to do that anymore? What

do you can do about it? Oh? My God, you can get my face. Okay, let's go back in there finishing. Let's tell you about a different podcast you have, because you have a dot Um where can they be heard? Well, I mean everywhere app apples, Spotify, iTunes, YouTube. So the hierarchy of your favorite podcast to the ones? Give me the what's number one? Well, I mean I only I only have one podcast right now. Oh yeah, it's um, there's just number one. That's number one. Yeah, that's the

Golfing one Country club a Jason. Yeah, nice, tell me about that. It's a great podcast. We talked about golf. You know how when we go out on the course, we play a lot of money games, play some money games, and you know, our our Instagram and our TikTok really

started blowing up this year. We started doing this thing called the back Off Challenge where people will step up to their ball to hit it and we roast essentially roast them before they hit the ball, uh and try to get them to step away from their ball to re readjust and reconcentrate on the next shot. I don't know much about golf, but I know producer Andy is an avid golfer. My sister is a golf pro to your golf course and wow, that's that's cool. Have your name.

I'm not gonna tell you that. Why not because I don't know to protect her privacy. Just not a professional golfer. She's a pro. And of course what does that mean. She's a teacher. Yeah, she gives lessons. So if you're a golf bro, that means you teach. And if you're

a professional golfer you're on TV, that means you compete. Yeah. Yeah, that would be very distracting, is like I think kind of the the bit there as as a golfer, that would be distracting for somebody to be saying those sorts of things are before I don't even know what it is he's saying. And when he said that that they roast people as they're about to hit a ball, that

would be very distracting. And you would have to step away to kind of gather yourself to hit a good shot because because it takes a lot of concentration, so your ball is directly in front of you quick and then yeah, they're about to hit the ball because they want to put it in a hole. Y. Yeah, before they do that, they step away, and then you just would no step up to the ball. They step up to the ball and they address it as though they're about to hit it, and then we'll say something like, hey,

nice shoes, Shaquille O'Neill. You know, if they've got like really big shoes or something, just some kind of joke. You know, most of the time, it's relatively surface level, unless it's like a really close friend and you can jab them and like, hey, your if your dad was here and saw you hit this bad shot, he probably would tell you he doesn't love you know, sometimes sometimes we cut deep. Is Shaquille O'Neil a nice guy? Okay,

I'm not. I'm not friends with ship hell O'Neil. I was just that's just a reference to uh, you know, I'm just I'm just him on your show. We've been trying to get him for a few years. He's read no, no, no, no no, I didn't have much. I was saying that that's like maybe a joke, a roast joke that we would do to someone to try to back them off their balls. Shaquillain was a very large basketball player, and he would have really big shoes. That might be something

that that the golfer is self conscious about. Is their shoes, Yeah, because sometimes they wear they wear really dumb shoes out there, and so, you know, or we make fun of their shorts if they're wearing socks that are too long. It's just you know, that kind of stuff with shame short shame. I get it. Yeah. So it's a it's a fun it's a fun thing, and it's been it's been really cool for the game of golf. You know. I think we're making a nice impact. Do you ever loose that

terms of money by chance? I mean sometimes, I mean we never really play for that much money, but yeah, sometimes I lose with it. With the most money ever lost on a golf course, Yeah, I think like fifty dollars closed the ten k. Well, I mean I'm not gonna bet ten k no, no, but maybe because you just don't have it. I have ten k. Okay, it's just not I don't want to play for that much money, and I don't think that, you know, many of my

friends want to play for that much money either. You're not much of a big road, not the kind of client that I would want. I'm just saying, Okay, I mean maybe I'm not being Betty. I'm just maybe maybe I just don't. I'm not that much of a degenerate. I don't know. So it looks like we've run out of time for that clip of him on the golf course doing comedy. I've got a lot of calls coming in. Somebody wants to represent me, to represent what I call you later dish bill. Wow, and he was looking for

new management. Wow. That he's doing pretty well. No, he was. He wasn't. He was gonna say, what's up? That's how tight I am with these guys. Cool. You guys are tight. But he still hasn't officially signed on for you to represent him. I haven't asked him. So you guys are just buddies and they don't even need to ask him. Well, we're all in luck because that clip of you on the golf course doing commy, it's only like five seconds long. Okay, okay, so let's hear that four. I just stopped the clip.

So the guy just says four. What's that? Well, well, I'm sorry it was eight seconds long. We didn't get to the part where he started cracking cracking. I'll say it again all right. By the way, what do you mean four? It means that there's a ball headed your way and it could hit you. And I think the reason why they said that is because it's a one syllable word. It's easy to yell out instead of you, which well you know, they could have also yelled ball. Yeah,

the number four, it's not the number four. The number it's a four F O R E. Yeah, that's not how he spoke the number four. Yeah, because it's not the number four. Reference the number four, Lady Cliff again, all right, here we go. Well, the ball that was that was the difference was the wrong clip. Wrong clip. That was the wrong clip. That was somebody that was the first time golfer. That's why you can't say ball

instead of four. Doesn't mean Yeah, alright, let's play the real clip, the real cliff we could after before with the guy says something out of that. Yeah, the video that you're playing isn't the one. Um neither of those. Scroll down a little bit and then I think third from the bottle, that one I accidentally liked this photo. That man engagement is good. I mean, it doesn't. It doesn't show up who specifically likes it, doesn't. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna like it. Well, you didn't have to do that.

That's he just left it there. But if I was representing him, might be liking this ship all day. So what do you want from? All? Right? Go ahead? And this clip right there, right there, right there. Hey, you look like Bradley Cooper on meth. Did you see that? Don't don't cry, but you're just supposed to laugh. You know about my math problem. You know that I've struggled for years years. Sorry, I'm so sorry. We just it was You do look like Bradley Cooper on meth. Just

kind of a fact, just like Bradley Cooper. Why do you have to bring up them? Because you know that I accidentally killed my fiance with my car because I was on Yeah, I'm really sorry. Were just say shoes? I think they are? Jeff, do you want to shut down the video? Okay? Yeah? Thank you really killed? Yeah? No, it murdered. And that's kind of the video that like how long blew us up? How long did he go on crying? He immediately like right after that video he left,

he went straight home. But long the video last, well, the video itself is only two minutes and twenty seconds, because that's the most you can put on Twitter. Because he wanted it to get on all yeah yeah, yeah yeah. And so he was crying for a while and then I kept telling my buddy just stopped filming him, and he, um, he wouldn't stop filming him. And then I finally was like, all right, I guess let's just keep getting him crying

and just see how viral this goes. And it did. Dude, I got like four hundred and sixty thousand views or something. He recorded him in the bathroom too. Yeah. Later, Oh man, that was weird. I think I know how that one goes. He continues to cry up there right now. Yeah, keep crying, this is my hole. Keep crying now, this is great, will go viral crying? Keep yeah, yeah, I do that. Yeah. So how's how's your meth addiction? You went to his house? Yeah? Yeah,

I went to his house. Technically, I wasn't the one filming. Who was. I was just there. That was our other podcast guy, Kevin. Kevin was just like, wouldn't stop filming him, and I figured like, why not just go there, get him crying, get the views. You know. We just we've been really we wanted to grow the podcast organically, and the best way to grow it organically is to get really good content and that was some good ship. Dude, what do you have planned? What's under the horizon? Aristonto

Georgeton's a lot of stuff. Man. I'm still you know, I'm still doing uh still still doing my Ted talk, my um my fake Ted talk. That's really fun. Like I said, our golf podcast is really starting to take off and it's uh, it's been a lot of fun. It's uh, it's brought us a lot of free golf and a lot of chances to compete, which is hilarious because uh, you know we're not we're not pros, so it's fun. Where could somebody who listens to our show? It was like, I want to check out this stuff,

but where did they find it? Uh? You know, you can find um the Golf podcast on uh at country Club Adjacent on Instagram and TikTok on Twitter, and then um you can follow my uh my online profile at Bottle of Stattle. You can also follow my fake character at Blake Webber and uh, I'm having a lot of fun. Everything's a hoot, all right, Aristotle Jorgson, thank you so much for coming. And I really apologize on our's behalf. Yeah, I mean this was strange whatever coming up Act three.

But first a word from our sponsors, who make this high quality program possible. Stay with us Act three two. Jobs to make ends meet. At least that was the reason we're not having time to join them. He was always working a lot of bills to pay. She was also very what I'm looking for? Oh honey, look, crew walks in the door. It's me. Would you like to explain to me why you missed our daughter, Sadie's fifth birthday party? Let me look at her? Look at her? Well?

Who the funk pacer shoes and her dress is? Watch your language, watch your watch yours, watch your room, shurty, Just please stop play shurty. This is what keeps things fresh. I mean, daddy fighting. We already told you, say honey, honey, Mark, Hey, I'm the one who makes the bread around here. Now you Sonny, now you say so, I'm the one, the only one to know. I also, you don't contribute, Jack, I have a job as well. What's your job? My job is to work. My job sell real estate. I

do sell real estate. Four days ago. Yes, we're not just depending on your income. I find that to be a load of bullshit. Malarky, I say the last goddamn time. That's just how your mother and I interact. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. How do you think I felt when we've dr dl ripple person told on a crack? How do you think I felt the first time? The doctor do Rebel suggested that we as a couple spice things up by arguing all the time. Remember, because we

both work how much? I just be traumatic one day for me for the last time. Internalize your childhood trauma. I don't want to hear anyway, honey, mister birthday party? Fuck you? I planned the party. It did pretty good. Was it a good party? What's your good party? Do you hear that? Do you hear what she's saying to do? What are you going to do about it? How do you plan to make the up to the both of us? Heap going on and on, getting in an opportunity attack,

so bangs therapy Ripple. You had to say, so, how didn't it work? Did you like I asked you to? Yes, arguing a hell of a lot. Of course, I worked your jabbs and he claims, do I get out LF? What's that? Man? How is Sadie taking it. Not good, not going at all. As a matter of fact, I actually we brought Sady with us. She's sitting outside in the hot car. Hold on, let me go get her. It's so hot. God, be sure you can't leave your daughter in the car. I'm not call the police. Hot car.

Very good, Very good, very good. I have a quick question for your ripple, doctor du ripple, why are you fucking us up like this? You're making us neglect the child. You're having us argue with each other constantly. What's the end game here? Game? If you do your job. I'm talking to the doctor. You swat. I just gotta do this on my own. I gotta, I gotta get out of it. I can. I'm sorry, I can't do it. Fighting fighting you're doing this is so traumatic for me.

It was cleaning the doctor head acterior motives. What looks like from the outside. Was it therapeutical practice on the inside? Was it disgusting toid sexual finish at the cost of a family's dynamic? Look? So why don't the two of you Barbara is it? And man? My name is Ben? Yeah? What what? What? I don't know even know why I'm here? So what exactly is the problem album between the two of you, if one exists at all, I would tell you. But she's going to interrupt me anyways and tell you

her versions. So why do you don't put it inside me anymore? He won't do it. I ask him. I try to joke him off. He doesn't even want it if I don't want to put it inside you, And why would I want you to trick me off? You're still logic. It doesn't what doesn't make sense. It's how beautiful I am, and how he treats me like trade. Don't get me wrong, she's gorgeous. I don't like it. I'm like, no, no, she's not gorgeous. She's not gorgeous. Thick say something really mean to her, saying why to

tell her? To tell her that she's how he's just going to help her. I don't know. I'm sure it will somehow tell her she's likely. Don't do it, honey, do it. Don't do it, Barbara. He is a therapist. So yeah, and just give me the logic real quick here. You want me to tell her my wife, Barbara, who's who's gorgeous? She makes a diamond look like trash. Therapy is about growth to mess sense if you will. It's about growing. It's about you growing, her growing, and most

importantly me growing. Tell her she is ugly. Don't do it, Edie, do it. I don't believe him, do it? Do it? Eddie? Trust me? I think maybe I should, because look, we're paying a lot of How much are we paying? What? How do you pressure you? Dr? Do ripple? Dr do ripple. We're paying a lot of money for you your sessions, so might as well, right, yes, please do and I'll pay you after all. Right, Honey, don't do it. You keep saying that I'm going to do it. Don't do it,

Please do it. I mean, it's just what we're gonna do. Is just you can't tell me not to do it. I don't ever get a chance to tell you. But that sounded come back? Do it? Oh that sounded come back. I know that I could take it. You already don't have sticks with me, You already don't stick. I'm just saying you're ugly. Okay, why not tell her that? Tell her she's a bad mother, You're a bad it's the well. Now give her the opposite of a pep talk that you and I went over before. You remember it say

it man, it will say to the man. Time we'll say at the same time, all of us, I really have to say the anti pep talk. Here we go. But you so discussing. Look you do either of you have a sleeping pill because I could use a nap. We'll produced to Andy and especially Giest, contributor to Aristotle, georgean Io story and this was This is American's Life when his next time. This is Americans Live can be found wherever you get your podcasts. Be sure to subscribe, rate,

and review. You can also find This is Americans Live on Instagram at this is Americans Live and on Twitter at Americans Live. Mm hmmmmmmm