Actor and Podcast Host Jesse Tyler Ferguson On Making Friends And Dinner Dates

I love how nervous you are about this. It's literally you're doing the exact same thing, just for longer.

Let me start with the intro part and we'll jettison into whatever.

You want to do.

Hey, thank god you're here. It's another one.

What's it called.

Thinking out loud? Here? You are so glad you're listening. And I'll tell you why everyone loves Jesse Tyler Ferguson. You love him on Modern Family. Of course, he just finished up doing Take Me Out on Broadway, which is an amazing funny play. He was great in that. But now he's got his podcast called Dinners on Me, and I want to talk to him about that and find out who does he think he is doing a podcast interviewing people, That's what I do. He's an actor, he

Hello, Hello, podcast friend.

You know you have a podcast. You're going to teach me how to do a podcast? Exactly where do we start? Where do we start?

Where do we start? Are you serious?

Absolutely?

Oh my gosh.

Well, first you set up your phone like you just did, and you start a timer. Yes, and you make sure that you can talk for at least forty five minutes?

Is it forty five? No?

How long are your podcast? We go like thirty to forty five?

Right?

Okay, see, mind's a little longer the way that I'm doing.

So, yeah, do you want me to just like launch it and tell you, like, well, my Batley podcast.

I want you to do the podcast. I'll just say to.

Do the podcast for you, just say that's why I'm here. I see, thanks for showing up.

Ye. Yeah. So when you first started doing dinners on me, that's right, did anyone look at you and go, okay, we're in the podcast world. Listen, here's what we think you should do. And they gave you a little background.

Right, we'll get you so that this concept was actually brought to me. It was it was something that was pitched to me.

I never wanted.

I never thought I would do a podcast. That never was I wasn't looking to do one. I was about to say I didn't want to do one, but that's not true because I'm actually doing one and I'm enjoying it immensely. But it was a concept that sort of existed in the brains of these producers over at Sony and Neon Hum and they thought I might be a good idea to match up with it, and so they pitched this idea to me, and I really liked it.

We talked about the restaurant we're at. We talked about the chef.

You hear us order you hear us talk about the food we're eating, but then beyond that, it's just a really great conversation.

So backing up, when you have friends at the house, yeah, do you refine yourself in just regular conversation interviewing them? I mean, do you have interview conversations. I have many friends who are like I feel like I'm being interviewed sometimes, but they're just great conversationalist. Yeah, yeah, yeah, are you that way?

No?

But now that I have this job, I find myself not like practicing on my friends, but like, you know, definitely trying to get into that mode of like delving further into an idea than I might have before. It has made me a more curious person for sure.

Yeah. I have this one friend who's a restaurant owner in Santa Fe. Okay, he just sold it, but anyway, he would come out to each and every table and he would put his hand on your shoulder. Yeah, and just he would start. It was like a magical moment with him.

Was his name?

He owned the bull Ring, the Steake Cash what elevis? Yeah, where have you been? I said, Well, you know, we were on vacation last week's we weren't in it. Where'd you go? Yeah, and then it begins we were in Maui. I love Maui, my daughter got married, there were you? Where are you in Mali? And then it begins.

It's like politicians are the same way. They they figure out like something that you have in common and they latch onto that and they are great conversationalists mostly.

Yeah, no, for sure.

I uh. You know.

Julie Bowen always had this phrase that she would say, you know, a conversa you want a conversation highway? Right now, we're in a conversation culd a sac like we went a highway right, you know. And she's a great conversationalist.

You know. I spoke with Mo Rocca. We were talking about this earlier on the previous podcast, and he was going to do an interview with Eva Maurice Saint okay, and he had heard that she just wasn't the best conversations. He's like, oh great, here we go, Okay, I have to do an interview with someone who doesn't like to be interviewed. So he said, what I thought of doing in a brilliant idea. He was looking at her bio or whatever. He discovered she was born on July fourth, okay.

Oh interesting.

The smile came on her face. She said, you know what, that's so great. You asked me that my dad used to tell me those fireworks for me for my birthday and so and then it'd be great icebreaker.

You know. It's so interesting because.

You, as as someone who gets interviewed a lot, you do hear a lot of the same questions over and over and over. And that's not a fault of the interviewer like that. These are questions that I think people want to know. But there does become a point where you're like, oh my god, how how do I answer this question?

In a new way.

So when you find that's a great example of the fireworks, like something that she probably had never been asked before, and it was immediately prompted a fresh answer and then a great conversation I'm sure follow it afterwards. And so like, I'm trying to do the same thing with these people who I'm sitting down with, and you know, I get like six pages of research on them, and I can kind of tell just from the research that's done, like

Being interviewed is a that is the most frightening thing in the world to me, because I mean, I'm always the interviewer, yeah, always, So when I had a book come out several years ago. I had to go out and do the press this and that, and I would I would get nervous. It was weird having the tables turned.

I'm the exact opposite way, Like it's it's a new thing for me to be the interviewer. So yeah, I totally understand what you're saying.

Yeah.

And then the other argument is, well, you are a guy who reads scripts and sometimes ask to improv off scripted material and there's an outline for what they want you to do in front of a camera or whatever. Now there is no script. I mean you could have prep and some research, right, there's no script.

It's it's improv You're improving for over an hour, and that's scary to like kind of fly without an at I love having a script, you know. I I don't know if I am the greatest improver, but I do feel like I am a good conversationalist.

Well, and that's it, It's just a conversation.

Yeah.

Another thing I love about interviewing people when you find the great storytellers, Yes, they really understand the concept of here's the opening picture exactly, here's the meat and potatoes, and then dessert and payoff great storytellers. We can't get enough of those.

Tell me a story, you want me to tell you a story.

I know it doesn't work that way, but yeah, people who have that magical way of telling the story. My dad was an unbelievable storyteller and it was always humorous. It was always like down home Texas. And I never could really master that, and he never really was. He wanted to be proud of his son. The guy who could tell the story. Never could, right, So I went into radio instead.

Yeah.

My grandpa he is, you know, was. He's no longer with us, but he's Irish and he but just he was. That says a effeck right there. He was. He was the guy that would always stand up and like tell a limerick or reside a poem or tell a really great story after, you know, at dinner. And so I feel like I have a little bit of him and me for sure.

Well, Okay, in addition to acting, you said earlier, you've done other things. You hosted a James several James Beard events.

Yes.

Yes, the James Beards are basically like the Oscars for the culinary. And it's so funny because I made that reference during the event that I hosted for them, but I called I called the Emmys the James Beards of the TV world. Okay, appreciate it, I'm sure, because you know, they're always being compared to, like you know, the Oscars

Well that's why I wanted to go there. So when you don't have a script there, but they have, they have an outline what they want you to do.

I definitely scripted some stuff for myself.

Yeah, but you're up there and it is it's a live crowd nerve wrecking, really, yes.

And it was the first time sort of doing like a big hosting a big awards show. It wasn't televised, of course, but like I was in a big auditorium and it was you know, I was managing the audience and keeping things moving and it was really fun and it would do terrified. I did very well. Yeah, yes, well they had me back twice because I did so good. So I know I did a good job. And I can't say that with confidence and I'm not being an egomaniac.

I did a very very good job.

Well, good for you. I mean, live audiences scare the shit out of it.

Oh they're terrified.

I mean, we'll host our big jingle ball concerts at Radio City Musical or no, no, at the Madson Square Gardens.

Sure, I've been to one of those jingle balls.

The thing is about those is everyone's in the dark. There's fifty thousand of them. It doesn't matter. But if you're in a room.

Full of people you who are actually paying attention, Yeah, we'll talk about like that's what theater is mean, people actually paying attention to what you're saying. But you know it's scripted again, so exactly, and I rehearsed well for it. But going up on rehearse scripted is it's terrifying. Did you watch Jury Duty?

Oh?

Absolutely, we had we had him on you Donald on yes, six six Donald, he was the Nico.

And what I mean, I just I would love to meet him. He's so wonderful and sweet and the heart of that show. But that you know, I thought a lot about that show was completely improvided, improvised based, and you know, these these actors, who are all great medians and greatizers, were brilliant, like went with whatever story they

I thought it was so well done.

I love that it was, you know, And to hear the background story as we were talking to Donald about Donald.

Right and Ronald Ronald Ronald, I think I said, Donald, Okay, well I threw you off.

Follow your lead. But James on as well the day before and they were talking about how well you know it was edited beautifully, beautifully because you know, every once in a while, Ronald Donald Ronald would get like something was so strange would happen it wasn't real and he could yes, so they would. They would purposefully make the court proceedings long and boring to.

Like outweigh yeah, the ridiculousness.

You can't just go crazy situation after crazies and someone would be like, what's going on?

But they said they would. They would go three or four hours.

Of just mundane yeah, wow, to counteract and the ridiculousness.

But look how brilliant it turned out.

And it turned out great, and obviously like we're not using any of this, any of this three hours of mundane ness.

Just go back to James Beard for a second. Do you follow? I mean, are you familiar with his work and who he was? Did you ever go to his townhouse for dinner?

And I'm aware of all of it, but I haven't. I don't know a ton about him. I mean, I've learned a little bit when I was hosting that the awards themselves, but I don't know a ton.

Now.

I read a little bit about him in a bio that was written and if I were. If I were an actor, I would I would want that. I would want to be James Beard. Of course, he was like eight feet tall and fifteen feet wide and bigger than life guy. But you know, I don't think anyone's ever tried to tackle that role.

No, no, are you? Are you suggesting I perhaps.

It would take a lot of makeup, it would have to thicken you up a lot. But he's just He's just one of those roles. I'm not an actress. Who am I to say this, but that just seems like a juicy juicy Oh my god, just tell all about this guy, because he had a crazy off the grid live right that was he was very famous for here right right right. Are there any people in history or any people that we're all familiar with that you often think, God.

You know the one that comes up a lot, And it's I think it's because I portrayed him sort of in an episode of Modern Family or they they they said that I resembled him in an episode, But it's Vincent van Gogh.

You do, uh huh.

And I went to the Art Institute when I was actually hosting James Beard Awards, I went to the Art Institute of Chicago, and that's where his portrait is housed. And I took a photo of myself next to his portrait and put on like my Instagram page, and I just like that took it to a whole other level, like.

Did you see do you see it? Though?

I do see it?

Right?

I think didn't.

William Dafoe just recently play him, And I can't remember who was biopic. I think it's sort of been done already. But you know that seems like something that there's probably a story there. I could see myself playing Vincent van Gogh.

But well, if you have to do more than just look like there's yeah, no true, you can create your own Vincent.

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, but the base of it's there. Yeah.

So what's going on in Hollywood? Now? There's a writer strike going.

To riders strikes? We're both doing podcasts?

Yeah? Really? No or in dividing when you're hearing this, maybe they all worked it all out.

I don't when is this going to air? In like a few days? I think we got I think we're safe to say it's still going on.

So give me your feeling about how it is being an actor? Yeah, and did indeed this podcast you're doing come from it.

Did not did not come from the rider strike.

It's a happy accident that I have something to focus on during the writer's strike.

You know.

I I was in Los Angeles. I just moved to Los Angeles and the Writer's strike of two thousand and eight last one, and I was I had just finished a series called The Class that ran I think nineteen episodes, and it was canceled, and then the rider strike happened. So I was had uprooted my life and moved to LA and I was, you know, with the intention of after this my show was canceled, I was going to stick around and just sort of like, you know, see what could happen for me in Los Angeles since I'd

It was right around hundred days. But you know, there was just nothing. There was nothing at all, and it was a little scary.

How did you survive?

I had saved some money from the the the series I had done. I was not paid super well because it was my very first TV show, so my quote was extremely low. But I I I think I might have borrowed some money from a friend. And then also I was going back to how to New York rather than doing some workshops of different theater projects, which you know, kuching ku ching no.

Money in that. But you know, he.

Was keeping me artistically satisfied somewhat, and I kind of feel like ready to throw in the towel and be like, okay, well after this strike is resolved, that probably would end up just moving back to New York. And then Modern Family happened.

So in Wow, that was how many years? Eleven eleven seasons?

Eleven seasons.

Yeah, yeah, Now that it's in the rear view mirror sort of, I mean, do you do you respect the enormity of that show? I mean, Modern Family when you're in it, I'm sure it's different than when you're.

Done with it.

I don't know, Yeah, no it is. But it's also you know, it's something that I think we all knew was a special thing.

You know.

It was nice having Ed O'Neil being part of that cast because he had been through an eleven year show with married with children, and he was in like the third act of his life, let's say, and he was at a place where he didn't think this would ever happen for him again. So to watch him, who in my eyes, was this massive star, this icon of television be excited about something new was a telltale sign that this is something to be excited about. I mean I

He was nominated for.

Emmy Awards and really respected by his peers in a way that I think he hadn't been before. And so I looked to him a lot and let that sort of appreciation reflect.

Back on me.

But we all knew, you know, I was the youngest cast member of the adults, and then you know, the next jump was down with Sarah Hiland, who played my niece.

But I was with a whole bunch of people.

Who had been in this business and varying degrees of success for quite some time, and I think we all kind of collectively agreed that this was a really special thing and something that we needed to enjoy and like really appreciate. It's like it's such a rare thing that's like that happens.

But eleven seasons. I mean, what was it like wrapping that?

Oh it was devastating and exciting at the same time. You know, actors, I mean I should I'll speak for myself. I was very eager to do other work and very eager to play the roles. And you know, you were playing this one person for eleven years and you know that person so well. And as an actor, I like to be scared. I like to be nervous, and I like to try things that excite me. This podcast is a great example of it. You know, Toasting Extreme Makeover

Of there was some open wounds with that.

And I'm actually Julie Bowen has met the first guest on my podcast, and we both talked about like, how are you feeling with this, like little wellness check? Yeah, yeah, And I've seen almost every single cast member in some form or another, not altogether, but I think I've seen everyone in person since we wrapped, and but you know, we haven't all been together, and that sort of feels like we don't have full closure with with you know, wrapping up that process.

Okay, let's totally mess this Up's stop the interview and go behind the curtains.

Okay.

We were talking earlier about being interviewed and you're asked the same questions over and over and over, so you look for different exciting ways to answer differently. Have you told that same story? Has anyone ever asked you any about anything about wrapping up?

No? No, oh really, I was wondering.

They asked us like what it was like to like finish the show, and like what was that you know, experience like and emotionally what was it?

You know?

But but you know, never, I guess I've never talked about having finished it and then gone into a pandemic.

But the way you told the story was great. It was awesome about how they Okay, you're next up, You're next up for the following line everyone. Yes, that was just really really fantastic. Okay, back to the interviews you this is like we're learning. I'm learning. It's all good.

Yeah.

One of my favorite Hollywood stories the past few years. Of course, it's been Jennifer Coolidge. When you say Jennifer Gills, especially Gay goes. Yes, yes, we're all trying to kill her. She. I mean, what an incredible story on many different levels. I mean, we're talking about a woman in her her sixties, right, who's just beautiful and fun and she's not new. She's been around a long long time, long time, she's been paying her dues and then of course here she is. I mean you see her everywhere.

Yeah, deservedly.

She's just incredible, do.

You I know? Look that for myself. Do you know her? I've met her, I don't know her.

We need to know her.

I know, I feel like everyone needs to know. Jennifer's like, I feel like Jennifer Clich.

Is like, oh man, I can't get to know all of you, Like you know, She's like, oh geez, can my Jennifer Clitch is not very good?

But then the all game in should have dinner at in a Garden's house.

She's like, she'd be so exhausted. I wish I could. I don't want to do that and dinner.

Jennifer's Oh, yeah, fascinating. I heard she has two homes in New Orleans. Oh really having one home in New Orleans is wacky enough. And you two, do you have any other just top of mind Hollywood stories that you find fascinating people that you would love to meet or talk to because they've done something like Jennifer Coolidge. Look what she's done.

I mean, that's a great example of someone that I've I've been very lucky that I've gotten to meet people and work with people that I have had that feeling about. This is a great example because I was actually talking about Jennifer Collidge with this person. But Jane Lynch has become a friend of mine, love her, and it is great, Oh the greatest. And I've just I've I've revered her

And I really don't know her that well.

And another person that happened to be in town was Alison Janney and so I like I reached out to her, again don't know her very well, was like, Alison, I need adult attention.

We please have dinner with me.

And so these are two people I just like I thought, you know, I'm gonna cold call these people. I kind of know them a little bit, but like not enough to say, like, will you just sit down and have a meal with me? And they both did and I had a great time with both of them. And it

We had urgency in your voice and you called them.

Please, I did I need some adult I did. And Allison was like number one on the call sheet for this movie. She was doing night shoots and she was exhausted. She's like, I have one day off, but I'd left to have dinner with you. And I had a great time with her. But you know, that's a perfect example someone I revere and I adore and respect so much and didn't know and have heard that she's just like salt of the earth. And you know, I felt comfortable reaching out and it was great, and you should.

But on that same level, have you ever been just floored because someone who you totally admire comes up to you and says, Jesse, I gotta say your work is just phenomenal, and you walk away, Oh my god.

I mean it happened a lot for all of us on Modern Family. Steven Spielberg was a huge fan of the show and like talk to us in terms of like being an uber nerd about it, like talking like breaking down the comedy of different scenes, like he came at it from a writer and director perspective, and I was like, Wow, this is crazy. Steven Spielberg is breaking down my work in front of me. That was wild, you know.

I mean.

Julia Roberts gave me a hug once out of the blue on a red carpet. I think she's like she didn't recognize anyone. She felt like she was floundering all of a sudden, like she's like, oh, there's someone I can know. We don't know each other. She was a must have watched My Modern Family, and she came up and gave me the biggest hug, like she hadn't seen me in forever, and it was the first time we were meeting. The photo exists online and you just google just a top of Ferguson and Julie Roberts.

And the last time you saw her, I thought you'd be best friends by now.

No, I'd love to know her, and I know people who have worked with her and had such wonderful things to say about her. But like those brushes have happened a lot, and it's it's really exciting.

So is there ever a time when you're alone in the house, your husband's gone, it's just you.

I made the kids?

Are the kids? Kids?

Child? Right too?

Two children?

Congratulations?

You have the house to yourself and you're walking by a mirror and you stop and you you look at yourself in the mirror and go, you know, fuck, this is a great life. This is this is pretty awesome. Did you ever have those moments?

I usually walk by a mirror and be like, God, I look old.

Well, Miley is good. I mean, is that something you do? Are you? I do it? Everyone swans? I have to stop myself and go, this is kind of great.

I'm a very I'm very grateful for everything that's happened to me. I have a wonderful family, two great kids. I'm I have my health, I have a career that I'm very proud of. I'm excited to see where it goes next. I am I'm very grateful. I am I I of course, everyone always wants to do more than they've been allowed to do, and I there's there's things

Retire Oh God, people do it, apparently know then they come back sometimes from the day, Uh Jesse Tyler Ferguson's podcast is called Dinners on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Top of Mind. Some guests that are coming up that we haven't heard yet.

Sure, we have Tracy Elis Ross coming out next week, Pad Mlackshmi, Marcus Samuelson, Jim Parsons.

Marcus Samuelson is awesome.

Isn't He's so interesting and the nicest guy. Yeah, such a great guy.

I have Roy Choy some that the more chefs happy people have, Marcus Samuelson, Pat Mclakshmi, Roy Choi who kind of started the food truck movement in Los Angeles with with Kogie Tacos and has a fantastic, really interesting story dealt with addiction and it's like at the top of this game now. And I found that in a conversation to be wildly inspiring.

Yeah.

I have some more people from Modern Family coming up that I can't mention yet but excited about.

Yeah. Any really really great friends, like truly best friends you've interviewed the reason?

Yeah, I mean Jim Parsons is a very very close friend of mine. He was at my wedding and we became very good friends through working in the same field together and you know, both being out gay actors in Hollywood, and we came together sort of as it is Mafia, the game.

Offa of course, the Pink Mafia. Yes, yes, yes, Well, so the reason I'm asking you is I have found and I think this is maybe very telling of me and some issues I need to work on. I have a difficult time interviewing people I know very well.

Me too, Okay, so you know what, I almost every single person that I've interviewed this first season is someone I know pretty well. I have some very old things, like some of my oldest friends in Los Angeles are are on the podcast coming up, Jim being one of them, Elizabeth Banks, but I've just known for a very long time.

I'll give you a Charlie Pooth is a good friend of mine.

Yeah, I love Charlie.

But as we got to know each other more and more and more, I would have him in and what do we talk about? It's I could lead him down a road I know he can go down. But that just seems kind of cheap and tawdry.

But it's not because a listener wants to hear all that. But they have to know that if they're sitting in this room with how many cameras pointing at us, and we're sitting in front of microphones and we have you know, sound engineers, like we know that we're here for a reason. That's not just a conversation. If we're sitting in your office and we're having this conversation, you know, like helpous you know if spout me already like I.

Can't do it. Yeah, So you know that that Jesse and I don't know each other because this is a great interview, it means just a piece of crap, like what do we talk about? But I said this to him in an interview. I told tru I can't interview you.

Cut them off, say no, don't come back here, not someone else interview you.

Well, thank you for being here today, Happy to be here.

I want everyone to put it on what is it your list? Your puppet notifications? Yes, what do you do?

You favored it?

You favored it?

You like them?

The tribe and review.

We like reviews, reviews when there's five stars included. I feel like people who like, go, I'm gonna put one star and then write something really stark, and it's like, what else could you do today?

Let's just so do you ignore them? Do? Do you get one stars?

I will tell you I just recently looked at the reviews on the Apple podcast and there are only five star reviews. It's not that I have five stars, like my average is like four point six because some people just like push the star meter they don't like to leave a review.

But everyone that's.

Actually stopped to write something has been really positive. So I appreciate all these people who like and subscribe and review.

Okay, like subscribe and review. Dinners on the Dinner's on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson, And of course this podcast is what they called thinking. It's thinking out Loud.

That's what we did.

We should call it we thought out Loud. We should call it. I don't know the name of.

This podcast, untitled podcast projects know what were some of the pitch.

It was off air, off air.

That great one.

Well, I don't know if you heard his mic. His MIC's not on. It was Elvis Durant's contractually obligated because it is they're forcing me to do this, but I'm glad they are. I will. I will thank them one day, especially for today.

Start up blog next can we get you to do Please.

Don't give them any ideas. Jesse Tider for an honor to have you on today, and I can't wait to listen to the rest of your twenty six party four twenty four podcasts. Bring him on and in New York versus la go.

Oh god, I mean if you have, if you really put it into my head, it's out New.

York Okay, thank you, have a nice day. Thank you, Jesse Titer Ferguson. Thanks for being on with us. I can't talk mark edit. Thank you, Jesse Tyter Ferguson. Don't edit that, leave it all natural.

I like the first one.

Check out Jesse's podcast, Dinner Is on Me. He brings in a lot of actors and celebrities that we love, has dinner with them, opens them up, has great conversation. He's great at what he does. You're gonna love it. Thank you so much for listening to the show. Tell a friend, tell a dozen friends, and don't forget Rate review and subscribe. If you subscribe them by we notify you when a new episode comes out and you want to know that, don't you?

Sure you do?

Thinking Out is hosted by me Elvis Durant. The podcast is produced and edited by Mike Coscarelli. Executive producers are Andrew mcglsi and Katrina Norvell. Special thanks to David Katz, Michael Kindheart, and Caitlin Madore. Thinking Out Loud as part of the Elvis Durant Podcast Network on iHeartRadio. For more, rate review and subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode, tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Elvis Durant.