A Think Queerly Leadership InterviewIn this episode I speak with Matt about, How trying to win the approval of his father made him seek out religion. Why this in part led him to become involved with conversion therapy. The years he spent in a private Facebook group (from about 18 to 23 years old) speaking with about 300 other men who classified as having “unwanted same-sex attractions,” how toxic that environment was with mental health issues and shaming, and how and why he was unable to leave. ...
Mar 27, 2020•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 123
We are all trying to do and be our best, respect physical distancing, staying at home, and keeping ourselves and those we love safe from infection. But what happens when we read too much news, or get caught up in the herd mentality of feeling panicked that we need to go buy 10 kilos of flour or 90 rolls of toilet paper? We are experiencing a worldwide disruption and we don’t know what to do. In these moments of uncertainty, we cannot predict what will happen next. This is what causes worry, upse...
Mar 24, 2020•21 min•Ep. 122
Your feelings, thoughts, words, and actions all lead to the alignment of what’s important to you. Each one of those steps informs the next. If you feel fear and panic, you then think negatively, and choose words like “terrifying” and take an action that is in alignment with that “process.” How we manifest our feelings into the world through action is a reflection of who we are. So, if we are afraid, angry, or terrified, at the feeling level, how does that manifest as an action? How do we interru...
Mar 19, 2020•34 min•Ep. 121
The lesson we can bear witness to as this pandemic evolves is that we are all in this world together now. We have to work together as a community, fostering connections and care around the world. This pandemic may be the crisis we need to positively affect climate change, social evolution, income equality, healthcare equality, and human rights. Read the full article on Medium: A Novel Pandemic - How a Virus Could Unite Humanity . --- Download my free book: Think Queerly – Meditations & Criti...
Mar 17, 2020•29 min•Ep. 120
We cannot control the actions of others. Instead, personal responsibility is the awareness, recognition, and acceptance of owning the problem. Only you can make your own life-defining choices to live authentically, to live truthfully, and to make a difference in the world. But that can only happen when you accept everything that has ever happened to you as, ‘what is’ and nothing more. Read the full article on Medium: " Self-work Is the Requisite Nature of Personal Responsibility ." Leading Queer...
Mar 10, 2020•32 min•Ep. 119
How can we have an opinion about something without defending it? It is incredibly challenging, and sometimes it even feels impossible, to respond to an attack from a place of loving-kindness and acceptance for the other person as a human being, while maintaining the emotional integrity to offer an alternative solution that improves the situation and the humanity of the interaction. Read the complete post on Medium: “How Can We Avoid Creating the Very Thing We Are Fighting Against?” Leading Que...
Feb 20, 2020•28 min•Ep. 118
How is drag representative of our queer community? 1. Is it acceptable for a drag queen to make jokes that are racist or transphobic? 2. Old school drag needs to change with the times and learn how to express our more inclusive values as a community. 3. Has drag lost its transgressive nature now that it has become an acceptable capitalist enterprise? 4. Social change is coming quickly and often with fury. Pushing too quickly for change is difficult because humans don't like to change. We need to...
Feb 05, 2020•33 min•Ep. 117
In my new book, Think Queerly – Meditations & Critical Reflections On Liberating Humanity , I advocate for inclusion and acceptance, as well as elevating consciousness — not just for LGBTQ+ peoples — but for all humanity, by leading from our uniqueness to demonstrate our vital and creative role in society. My book is dedicated to helping queer people discover how to risk expressing and embracing their difference to liberate their authentic selves and take part in creating a more loving and a...
Jan 30, 2020•23 min•Ep. 116
One of the most important directives of the Th-Ink Queerly mission statement is that we as queer thinkers and writers are purposefully critical of the status quo. At the same time, we can and should engage with and debate our peers, even when we disagree with them. How we treat our own dictates how others will treat us. But for us to work together successfully as a community of queer thought leaders we need to be mindful of how we support and treat each other, especially in a debate. This is one...
Jan 15, 2020•23 min•Ep. 115
An invitation to ‘play’ in my Queer Creatives Mastermind Program If you want to make an impact, if you want to use your queer creativity to make a difference in the world, you will benefit from support and interaction with others in a facilitated, structured environment — one that supports a shared mission of thoughtful completion. I want to inspire LGBTQ+ people to connect with their creative genius and their inner motivation to define their purpose so that they can use their difference to make...
Jan 10, 2020•32 min•Ep. 114
In this episode, I share the backstory about how the idea for a Queer Leadership began to develop in my mind and how I have arrived at the point where I feel I have the foundations for an evolutionary and transformational Queer Leadership. Want to share your thoughts and feelings about what a Queer Leadership might mean to you? If you would like to contribute to my research, please complete my Queer Leadership Questionnaire . Read the full post on Th-Ink Queerly: Furthering my Research into the ...
Jan 07, 2020•14 min•Ep. 113
I plan to publish every day in 2020 about something queer or LGBTQ related. This may take the form of a written post, a newsletter, a podcast, or a video. The idea is to share my work on Queer Leadership while I am in the process of creating it. What a fantastic way to connect with new people, as well as receive helpful feedback and constructive criticism. This will keep me thinking critically, leading queerly, learning more about what that means, and why it's so important. My focus for 2020 wil...
Jan 03, 2020•19 min•Ep. 112
I created Think Queerly to challenge the status quo and to elevate visibility. As a gay man and as a queer person, I do not want to be normalized. Instead, I want to be recognized and accepted for my difference as a humanizing quality. To that end, I want to state that my podcast and publication of the same name, Think Queerly, will not stand for assimilation of LGBTQ+ peoples. Instead, as I have expressed in the mission statement , Think Queerly supports liberation, i.e. “to improve humanity an...
Jan 01, 2020•23 min•Ep. 111
Those are the words of Jeffry Iovannone from his article titled, “ Pete Buttigieg is Not the Gay Candidate I Want ”, which was incidentally published on January 27th, 2019, a few days after Buttigieg launched his presidential exploratory committee. Jeff has been a regular guest on the podcast and today he joins me as we discuss Jeff’s follow up essay, “ Pete Buttigieg is — Still — Not the Gay Candidate I Want ”. We go deeper to consider what we would like to see from someone who is not only gay ...
Dec 20, 2019•1 hr 13 min•Ep. 110
As queers, we live on the margins — outside the status quo. We are told we do not belong and so we create to be happy, to foster new subcultures in which we feel comfortable, and where we belong. We beautify our spaces and ourselves in such a way that we can identify ourselves to each other in a fashion and style of belonging (yes to the double entendre). The reason for this almost natural queer creativity is simple, if not obvious: we all seek belonging. We seek a community to which we can belo...
Dec 05, 2019•20 min•Ep. 109
Pro-actively using gender-affirming pronouns to indicate the diversity and visibility of identity is important for LGBTQ+ human rights. Pronouns used to properly recognize gender and sexual identities are a political act that disrupts the status quo. However, what’s been missing from the ‘pronoun debate’ is the discussion about the nature of language and who or what will have the final say on which pronouns variations endure. One the one hand, it’s valid to declare that proper pronoun use in fav...
Nov 21, 2019•27 min•Ep. 108
Recently, I was a guest on the radio show, Rainbow Country on CIUT 89.5 FM. The creator and host, Mark Tara invited me back for a second show to talk about various aspects of gender identity along with my colleague, scholar and activist, Jeffry J. Iovannone. We discuss the history, definitions, and societal progress for how we understand gender in modern-day terms. What We Cover in the Episode Starting at 7m 05s we begin by looking backwards with a brief review of the history of gender identity,...
Nov 13, 2019•53 min•Ep. 107
Blaming LGBTQ and People of Colour for the ills of the world demonstrates ignorance and a lack of critical thinking skills. This morning I read a tweet by someone I follow referencing Tucker Carlson and another right-wing pundit blaming the forest fires in Los Angeles on diversity programs and LGBTQ people: " Tucker Carlson and Dave Rubin Blame California Wildfires on ‘Woke’ Public Utilities Focused on Being Pro-LGBT and Racially Diverse ." I had to ask myself, why. Why do people think like this...
Oct 31, 2019•24 min•Ep. 106
If we continue to argue against each other from completely opposite ends of the spectrum, one person firmly on the left and the other on the right — one person on the right side of the equation, the other on the wrong side — we will be forever stuck, unable to affect progressive, evolutionary change to social diversity and LGBTQ equality. We will remain in a stalemate or destroy ourselves and the planet completely. Seeing the world through a queer perspective helps us understand that there is no...
Oct 25, 2019•19 min•Ep. 105
How does internalized homophobia in gay men affect other LBTQ individuals? We are taught that we are other, that we don’t belong, that we can’t cross the gender divide. To do so is a form of weakness. Straight-acting gay men are struggling with self-acceptance and personal forgiveness, but they are trapped on the surface level of both physical appearance and mannerisms. I don’t believe that straight-acting gay men don’t have the desire to be authentic, instead, they are ignorant or fearful of th...
Oct 16, 2019•19 min•Ep. 104
In today’s show, I explain the reason for changing the show’s name from the Living OUT Podcast to the Think Queerly Podcast. Then I continue with my on-going discussion/living document about the “Way of Queer Leadership” . I ask the core question, How can we create communities of LGBTQ leadership, which includes our allies, to work together to improve humanity – a humanity of belonging? Brené Brown defines a leader as, “… anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and pr...
Oct 02, 2019•25 min•Ep. 103
In-fighting only strengthens those who seek to silence us. Have you ever seen this happen? Queers come together at a large event like Pride where everyone wants to have their voice heard, their opinions honoured and recognized as having value. Sometimes this leads to division or in-fighting within a specific group, like gay male “bitchiness” or one part of the community against another. There are many reasons for the causes of such division. It may involve personal emotions, shame, not knowing o...
Sep 18, 2019•24 min•Ep. 102
What is integrity and why is it the most important and vital quality in leadership? We demonstrate individual integrity with honesty and strong moral principles to guide our choices and actions. What happens when you make a decision based on strong moral principles but you have to conceal part of the reason for your decision? Is that wrong? Is that dishonest? Or is that one of the many challenges that make leadership fluid and diverse? Rarely are any of our choices perfect, but in leadership, mi...
Sep 05, 2019•26 min•Ep. 101
In June 2018 I started the Living OUT Podcast. I had no idea at that time what the show might become. Certainly, I have expanded the breadth of what I talk about since episode 001. Currently, I am focused on sharing The Way of Living OUT Leadership: a new way forward for LGBTQ people – while I’m creating it. Putting that in writing scares me a bit, which is a good sign. This is not a bad or an irrational fear, instead it’s the healthy trepidation that I am creating something new and willing to b...
Aug 29, 2019•28 min•Ep. 100
How can we work together as a collective of queer thinkers to embrace, demonstrate, and advocate a humanitarian leadership of belonging? How can we – collectively as queer people – lead from the margins to metaphorically corral the disparate fractions of humanity, so that divisiveness between peoples may become less in proximity to create and foster a genuine diversity. There doesn’t yet exist a so-called “queer leadership” per se, or that I know of, but I am working on developing this new style...
Aug 22, 2019•19 min•Ep. 99
Live OUT your unique identity to create an LGBTQ leadership that makes a difference in the world. Recently I listened to The TED Interview, Yuval Noah Harari reveals the real dangers ahead in which Harari explains why it might feel like there’s no future for humanity. Serendipity led me to read, George Monbiot: how do we get out of this mess? and to watch his TED Talk, “ The new political story that could change everything ”. https://www.ted.com/talks/george_monbiot_the_new_political_story_that_...
Aug 15, 2019•26 min•Ep. 98
Mark Tara is an LGBT Content Creator, Recording Artist, and the Creator & Host of the Gay radio show, Rainbow Country 🌈, heard every Tuesday from 11pm-1am on CIUT 89.5FM in Toronto. Mark invited me on the show to talk about coaching, how I became a coach, and why I choose to offer my Life Coaching primarily to GBT men . We also talk about my publication, Th-Ink Queerly on Medium, and of course my show, The Living OUT Podcast – how it all began, and my plans for the future. Mark asked me som...
Aug 08, 2019•51 min•Ep. 97
How the gender binary limits critical thinking. Earlier this week I was quickly browsing my Facebook feed and read a post that was purposefully provocative and included a text meme of the following: “There are only two genders – Science “. Leaving aside how categorically incorrect, ignorant, and inconsiderate that statement is, it prompted me to question why we so often think in binaries. Why have we created a world that is limited by a way of thinking that is so contentious? When we understand ...
Aug 01, 2019•25 min•Ep. 96
Have you ever felt like you left the best parts of who you are in the closet? Think about that question for a moment. When we come out of the closet as LGBTQ people, most often we experience coming out several times (each time we have to reveal who we are to a new person). Sometimes we regress, fearful of having revealed too much of who we are, and we put some parts of who we are back in the closet. In this episode, I share two times in my life when I was living fully out, gay and proud, and fre...
Jul 25, 2019•28 min•Ep. 95
Social Media Constricts Communication and Activates the Fight Response. Recently, someone I follow and highly respect on Facebook, whose training programs I have paid to take part in, posted praise for an author and so-called intellectual for whom I have no respect – Jordan Peterson. In the post, my colleague praised both Peterson’s character and his book, “12 Rules for Life.” I wrote a comment to suggest that Peterson’s moral ethics were questionable, and that just because he’s published a popu...
Jul 18, 2019•27 min•Ep. 94
