In this episode I discuss some ongoing health challenges I’ve had, why I decided to pause the podcast for the time being, and why you don’t have to take your struggles so personally. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe
My guest this week is holistic executive coach Doug Holt. It was Doug’s second time on the podcast (the previous episode is here ) and another great discussion. This time we focused on the marriage relationship—especially when you fear that you married the wrong person. Our discussion focused mostly on male-female couples, but many of the things we talked about are relevant for all committed partnerships. Topics we discussed included: What leads people to think they married the wrong person Feel...
My guest this week is Dr. Paul Kesselman, a clinical psychologist and close friend of mine. It was Paul’s second time on the podcast (the previous episode is here ) and another great discussion. This time we focused on how to keep open lines of communication with our kids. Topics we discussed included: The advantages of keeping open dialogue with our kids Creating a safe environment for our kids to talk with us The downside of coming to our kids with an agenda Talking at , to , or with kids Maki...
My guest this week is Dr. Nadia Colburn, a poet and author of a new book of poetry entitled I Say the Sky (affiliate link) . Topics we discussed included: Developing greater interest in poetry later in life Turning to poetry as a spiritual or devotional practice The ability of poetry to express or point to things that are difficult to capture The emotional connection that poetry can inspire Presence that exists outside of traditional narrative Readings from Nadia’s books Wanting to live and yet ...
My guest this week is Dr. Carla Naumburg, a clinical social worker and author with a brand new book called How to Stop Freaking Out: The Ultimate Guide to Keeping Cool When Life Feels Chaotic . This is an excellent guide for young people who are struggling with overwhelming emotions. Topics we discussed included: The defining features of a freak-out The balance between acknowledging big emotions and controlling freak-outs The difficulty in controlling an active freak-out The role of the prefront...
My guest this week is Diane Manser, a long-time high school teacher with an important message that she shares in her recent book, I Didn’t Sign Up for This: One Classroom Teacher’s Journey Through Emotional Fatigue to Personal Empowerment (affiliate link) . Topics we discussed included: What led Diane to become a teacher The best and hardest aspects of teaching The point at which my guest started to wonder what she had signed up for Aspects of teaching that can lead to frustration and burnout So...
My guest this week is Dr. Scott Rick, an associate professor of marketing and author of a great book called Tightwads and Spendthrifts: Navigating the Money Minefield in Real Relationships (affiliate link) . Topics we discussed included: Why our relationship with money is often complicated, no matter how much we have Where our attitudes toward money and spending come from Mental and emotional tendencies that predispose a person to being a tightwad The tendency to act more like one’s parents as o...
My guest this week is philosopher and counselor Dr. Samir Chopra, author of the fascinating new book, Anxiety: A Philosophical Guide (affiliate link) . Topics we discussed included: The extent to which we are experiencing unique levels of anxiety in human history Philosophical inquiry that springs from anxiety The unconscious cognitive work we do to make the world sensible and navigable My guest’s loss of both parents fairly early in life and the consequences on his psyche Comparing our experien...
My guest this week is Dr. Marla Deibler, a clinical psychologist who specializes in treating anxiety. We discussed her excellent new book, The BFRB Recovery Workbook (affiliate link) . Check out the publisher’s website where you can download many free worksheets and resources. Topics we discussed included: When a body-focused repetitive behavior becomes a diagnosable disorder Common physical consequences of BFRBs Behaviors associated with the hair-pulling of trichotillomania, a type of BFRB The ...
My guest this week is Dr. Alissa Jerud, a clinical psychologist who specializes in treating anxiety. Topics we discussed included: The anxiety conditions Alissa treats Anxiety related to pregnancy and fertility The difficulty of experiencing miscarriage My guest’s own experience of two miscarriages The conditioned anxiety after the first loss Pregnancy as a perfect setup for anxiety Dealing with the desire to avoid distressing reminders The benefits of facing certain things that are painful Talk...
My guest this week for part 5 of our series on mindful awareness is Ethan Nichtern, author of a new book called Confidence: Holding Your Seat Through Life’s Eight Worldly Winds (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: Confidence as trusting we can navigate our own minds Making friends with our inner experience Equanimity as realizing that everything affects you The eight worldly winds or forces: Pleasure/pain Praise/blame Influence/insignificance Success/failure Showing up and working wit...
My guest this week is Amanda Knox, author of the New York Times bestselling book Waiting to be Heard (affiliate link). Amanda’s name is probably familiar to you because she was in the news a lot over a decade ago when she was tried for murder in Italy. Even though she was convicted, it turned out the charges were completely false, and eventually she was fully exonerated. Topics we discussed included: Amanda’s history of being falsely accused of murder The power of the anchoring bias in maintaini...
My guest this week is Brett Larkin, yoga instructor and author of Yoga Life: : Habits, Poses, and Breathwork to Channel Joy Amidst the Chaos (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: Practicing yoga with awareness The appeal of yoga for helping us remember that we’re more than our minds and brains Yoga as a “science laboratory” to observe what’s happening internally and how one responds to life The moment my guest discovered what yoga can teach us about ourselves How to distinguish our hig...
My guest this week is psychologist Dr. Steve Taylor, author of the new book, The Adventure: A Practical Guide to Spiritual Awakening (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: The practical components of “enlightenment” or “spiritual awakening” Commonalities across different spiritual traditions The unease and anxiety created by a sense of separateness from the world and others The fundamental background unease humans tend to feel The hijacking of spiritual awakening by the ego Aligning you...
My guest this week is psychologist Dr. Beth Kurland, author of the new book, You Don’t Have to Change to Change Everything: Six Ways to Shift Your Vantage Point, Stop Striving for Happy, and Find True Well-Being (affiliate link). We begin with a calming guided meditation that Beth led. Topics we discussed included: The assumption that not feeling at ease is a personal failure Being with our distress without being swallowed up by it Cultivating well-being in the absence of happiness The role of s...
My guest this week is Dr. Peter Levine, who is well-known for being the developer of Somatic Experiencing. He’s also the author of a new book: An Autobiography of Trauma: A Healing Journey (affiliate link), which we focused on in this very enjoyable and meaningful discussion. Peter shared about how his own wounds from early in life were a big part of what led him into the field of trauma therapy. We explored how the healing continues, even now in Peter’s ninth decade. Topics we discussed include...
My guest this week for part 4 of our series on midlife is Dr. Tim Windsor. Tim has done many research studies on adult development and how we change in midlife and older age. I took so much from this conversation as Tim described what we know about how to have a great second half of life. Things we discussed included: My guest’s research in lifespan developmental psychology Optimizing one’s potential to live well in later adulthood How Tim came to this area of research The challenges and opportu...
My guest this week is Nick Davies, back for his third time on the podcast. This time we focused on issues related to midlife, as this is part 3 of our series on that topic. Things we discussed included: Nick’s personal backstory and his decision to make a big change in his mid-thirties Asking the right questions that can lead us to fulfillment The danger of “normality” that doesn’t serve us well Waiting for life to open up for you vs. creating the life you want Unhelpful beliefs that can lead us...
My guest this week is Dr. Kieran Setiya , a philosophy professor at MIT and author of Midlife: A Philosophical Guide (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: The extent to which midlife is a time of crisis Elliott Jaques’s coining of the term “midlife crisis” in 1965 Data showing that life satisfaction is U-shaped, with a low in middle age Common significant challenges in midlife Past, Present, and Future The feeling of having missed out on other possible lives The tremendous loss we woul...
My guest this week is Dr. James Hollis , a therapist and author of many books, including Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: Common struggles one tends to experience in midlife The part of our psyche (soul) that knows us better than we know ourselves The agenda of the first and second halves of an average-length life Why certain issues tend to arise at midlife and not sooner The Buddha’s experiences before and...
My guest this week is Dr. Joel Minden , a clinical psychologist, therapist, author of Show Your Anxiety Who’s Boss (affiliate link), and frequent guest on the podcast. This conversation focused on men in therapy. Topics we discussed included: The extent to which men tend to be interested in and open to psychotherapy Fears that men might bring to therapy The significant overlap in the issues men and women deal with and what brings them to therapy The challenge of dealing effectively with anger Mo...
My guest this week is Dr. Michelle Drapkin , a clinical psychologist, therapist, and author of an excellent new workbook called The Motivational Interviewing Path to Personal Change: The Essential Workbook for Creating the Life You Want (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: What motivational interviewing (MI) is and why the name is misleading Ambivalence toward change and how it’s addressed with MI Living our values in the midst of our ambivalence Finding different and more productive ...
My guest this week is Dr. Regine Galanti , a licensed psychologist and author of the amazing new book, Parenting Anxious Kids: Understanding Anxiety in Children by Age and Stage (affiliate link). It was Regine’s second time on the podcast and we had another great conversation. Topics we discussed included: Regine’s fantastic new book Less-frequently recognized signs of anxiety in young kids Why anxious parents often have anxious kids The online information for parents that often makes kids’ anxi...
My guest this week is Dr. David Tolin , a clinical psychologist, researcher, author, and expert on effective treatments for many psychological conditions. In this conversation we focused on hoarding disorder, and then segued into a more general discussion about cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and other treatment approaches. Topics we discussed included: The continuum of hoarding The diagnostic criteria for when hoarding is considered a disorder Instances of needing to buy a second home due to...
My guest this week is Nir Eyal, author of the excellent book Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: The connection between Nir’s first and second books Nir’s own history of distraction and needing the techniques of Indistractable Using psychological principles to create positive habits the same way social media and advertising companies exploit the principles for their own profit Differentiating between helpful and harmf...
My guest this week is Oren Jay Sofer. Topics we discussed included: Oren’s new book, Your Heart Was Made for This The ways that our minds and hearts are shaped by the world Scarcity Separation Depletion Understanding the roots of suffering and how to relieve suffering Our mistaken belief and wish that consumption will finally provide ultimate fulfillment and satisfaction Oren’s realization at a young age that all of life is in flux Common effects of social media use, and what drives it How becom...
My guest this week is Dr. Paul Kesselman, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Devon, Pennsylvania. Topics we discussed included: The difference between healing and curing My own experience of illness and curing vs. healing A therapy scene from the Oscar-winning movie “ Good Will Hunting ” Validating pain and then pivoting to what is productive Show about a wrestler born with no arms (HBO?) Reacting to difficulties in life such as a poor night’s sleep How we react to our mistakes When ...
My guest this week is Dr. Steve O’Brien, author of the excellent new book, The Essential Guide to Treating Child and Adolescent Anxiety (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: The ongoing epidemic of anxiety among young people Greater anxiety responses to smaller triggers Falling levels of resilience Overstimulation of kids’ bodies and minds The overload of information through social media The critical trio for basic health: sleep, nutrition, exercise Less obvious signs of anxiety in chi...
My guest this week is Rob Bell. I was so happy that I got to speak with Rob. I’ve been a fan of his work for quite a while now—I listen to his podcast all the time and have read a few of his books, and I’ve just found his work so helpful. I actually had an opportunity to spend a couple of days at the Rodale Institute where Rob was hosting one of his events where about 30 people come and bring an issue, a question, or a stuck point, and one by one we each sit and talk with Rob as the rest of the ...
My guest this week is Yemado. He’s the director of the Boston School of Boabom, and he’s been teaching Boabom for over 20 years. As you’ll hear, Boabom is a Tibetan system of meditation, relaxation, and self-defense, and this was such an interesting discussion. The topics Yemado and I explored were really familiar ones, and they were also in a whole new context. One of the most valuable parts of this conversation for me was his description of “crashing into yourself” when you pursue consistent p...
