Hello listener Beth Trammell here , the host of Things you Learn , therapy . I'm glad you're here , and today we're going to do a little debrief of Maureen Clancy's episode , and I'm so thrilled that my research assistant , undergraduate student , sarah , is here with us again . She came last week to share a little bit on Chrissy's episode . No , not Chrissy Barbara .
We talked about Barbara last time , didn't we ? Oh , this is going to be so interesting because when I recorded with Barbara , I actually got flavors of Maureen when I was with her , and so I am so excited to hear your impression of Maureen because I have a real bias toward loving everything about Maureen .
So I just love sharing space with her and honestly , I'm so grateful I have so many guests that I could say this very same thing for , but there is definitely just something that Maureen really connected with me , I think one of our first episodes together .
I keep rambling here , sarah , I'm going to give you a chance to say hi but one of our first episodes was so powerful for me personally , as you know , she was kind of challenging me to think about my own life in such a beautiful way , you know , like not in a you know kind of grump way or anything , but just sort of like why does everything in my life
have to be categorized as either good or bad , like why can't it just just be , you know ? And so I feel like I have this connection to Maureen , because she was such this like gentle , guidance and and , frankly , my own life .
So anyway , sarah , tell us just a little bit about you and then tell us like one thing that stood out to you about this episode with Maureen .
Well , again I'm Sarah , I'm an undergraduate student and I'm Dr Tramiel's research assistant this semester . And let's see , the first thing that stood out to me , just like one thing , was just the honesty , vulnerability and realness of this episode . Like it was just so real and it was really refreshing . I loved that .
I mean , I could say that about every episode , but yeah , this one it was good .
You know , what is so funny is , I think , as a therapist and actually as I train graduate students who are coming to become therapists , I actually had this question just make sure that we can kind of manage our own issues well enough that we can still be good therapists , you know ?
And , and you know , this student kind of asked me like well , what happens if a therapist needs to take some time for themselves to heal or or do their own work and they , you know , does that ruin their reputation ? And I'll tell you . I mean , I remember moments in this episode and when Maureen and I kind of talked about the idea for this episode .
I would be lying if I didn't have a moment where I was like , oh , you know , like that , that pressure to you know , feel like you have it all together and to prove to people that you can be a competent therapist is real . And I loved the realness from Maureen and how she , you know , kind of really challenged me to pull my own realness out .
But yeah , I think it is tricky to like balance , allowing people to see that , because I think , to your point , I think people really do appreciate hearing the real struggle that it can be on the other side of the therapy room as a therapist , um , but also like that , sometimes that's scary and , and you know , even as I'm saying this out loud , it's like ,
yeah , I mean , it's probably as scary as coming to therapy on the other side of the couch , right ?
Right , right , I don't know . I totally get that and I see that and just even like I'm not even in graduate school yet and I already feel this pressure that a row I've got to have this figured out . I have to be this like perfect , mindful present being all the time , you know , and so I think that a lot of people feel that way , you know .
So , um , but I really appreciate what Maureen said about like the best things we can offer our clients in , and I think really just anyone that's in our lives is like a calm , nervous system .
Yeah .
That was beautiful when she said that .
Oh , and she's so good . I mean , every episode she talks about the nervous system and how you know , clearly we have science has made so many great strides to push how much our biological system impacts our mental health , and so I love that she continues to be such an advocate for that science .
And I know , I mean I just it's like when Maureen comes and shares , it's like yes , like it just feels like that's so good and true and it sounds simple though I don't think she is .
She's not suggesting that it's simple , but it's like if I could just stay rooted in that , you know , like , yeah , I could only focus on that and then get rid of all the other distractions and all the other kind of you know things that I think I need to do in this situation or that situation , or with this person or with that person , and if I could just
come as a calming presence , how healing can that be for a person ? Oh , she's so right .
Yeah , yeah , I mean just being that calm presence . That would that would be amazing , and she totally gives that , that vibe , the whole time you're talking to her .
Isn't it wild , I mean I love that it comes through without you seeing her , like her voice . But when you see her face , like her face , her body , like all of her being , exudes that same calmness but not , not like , not stillness in a way . That kind of makes you anxious as a talker .
You know she just has this warmth that in all of her nonverbal communication says I'm here and I'm listening and I'm present and I am open to whatever it is you have to offer .
It's amazing For the episode . You know I looked up her TikTok to link that and she exudes that on TikTok of all places . You know it's like amazing .
It's so true . I actually had not ever thought about that . I've watched her TikToks and Instagram and I think to myself I can't watch this anymore because I'm so jealous of Maureen that she's figured out how to do this . And Maureen would tell me not to compare myself to her .
And Maureen would tell me that you know I can , I could be my own version of what it is , but yeah , I just I love that you're saying that , because it really does just kind of live within her .
It does , it does and like . One other thing that I picked up there from her was like her tips about like grounding yourself in the moment , and it was really cool because these tips are things that you can do anytime , anywhere .
You can do it in a session , you can do it in a meeting , just anytime , like pushing your feet onto the floor , you know , noticing what you smell , noticing your senses . You can do that and still like it'll help you remain present in the situation and moment .
Well , and I love that she was really like calling out like specific moments where it's like , yeah , like you don't have to let the world know , you're like taking a deep breath , like this can happen to like refocus you the instant .
You feel yourself kind of drifting and so you know I think you know sometimes you need to let people around you know that you need some space , but then I love , yeah , like her real tangent no , not tangent , her real tangible , that's the word I was looking for Real tangible examples of like yeah , I mean , if you're sitting right here and you just feel yourself
, just take a moment and reorient your body and you don't have to let anybody else know .
No , just you .
Just you . Oh , so good , it's so good .
That's a good one . Can't wait till she comes back .
I know she is definitely always on the list . Um , when I get ready to record again and kind of batches , then I'm always like I got my list of all the folks that have come back and they keep coming back and I'm grateful for that . So Maureen is definitely on that list . So it really was .
Like you know , early in my career I read a book called I think it was called bad therapy . Expert therapists share their , their worst mistakes or something like that . It was some version of that .
And so when she first said , like I want to talk about the real side of therapy , where you know like good , good therapists can make mistakes and kind of the humanness and the realness of the relationship and I don't think enough people talk about that , and I was like , yeah , you know , I read this book .
And she was like , no , I'm not actually talking about that , I'm talking about you and I talking about our own experiences . And I was like , oh , okay , yeah , we can do that too . And I'm so glad we did .
I'm so glad we did because I think that it was something that was meaningful to us , if no one else , and I hope that listeners can enjoy it as much as we enjoyed making it for the world .
Oh yeah , I think it's definitely something that's valuable to be out there in the world .
It's great , sarah . Thanks for coming to review , not review debrief , man . It is a . It's not even that late y'all , but for me it's like later in the day and I am jacking everything up . So we're going to just say goodbye now and Sarah I'm sure is going to come back again to share a little bit of her debriefing thoughts about some upcoming episodes .
So thanks for saying yes to being here , sarah .
Oh , thanks for having me .
Thanks for tuning in listener . Till next time . Stay safe and stay well .