#131 - “100% Liquid”

Sing Terry You guys have to help me I'm making a secret guest You're yelling so loud that it's picking up in every single night. It's so bad I need a secret guest to introduce you first That's how it works. All right, you can't just oh my god Speaking shut up shut up shut up. Oh by the way, we have a special guest named Tyler. How you doing? This is this is for Tyler. Oh, this is intro song

This is an intro song. All right, Tyler. We're gonna we have a special guest his name is Tyler, but it hears his intro song It has my name all over My lonely days are over All right, that's for you Tyler. That's your old or like that's a definitely old song sounds old At a James like from your childhood, right? How dare you how dare you?

From my childhood, I think in you guys 60s for the caption dude. It's dude. It was released in the 60 1960 64 years old you going through kindergarten around that time Yeah, cuz I'm I'm that old you guys like this song. I do like that I actually was just about to like add it to a playlist. It's kind of you never heard this before kind of hits You never heard this I've heard a lot of songs that sound like this

This one is a classic though. I just you know, I've been saying this for a while now, but older music It's the best music older things and you like older cars Like look better older buildings look better I would say if we could if we can get older cars in the safety ratings that we have now Oh for sure and not not have a fucking pretty much just a hunk of metal Just destroy your body because it's gonna crumble old cars were like tanks, right?

Did I have old cars didn't crumble like they knew cars would as end to crumble old cars Well, the new cars like the engine will drop out when you hit another car Yeah, new car old cars because they have a chassis that's supposed to be old cars We're just big hunks of steel and they would just slam into shit And then your body the die and then your body absorbs all the impact force, right?

I remember in some ways is protecting you from like Shit, but in other ways the impact forces are I would say what I would want is I would drive the tank But I want like the air bank the airbag system in my car Well, I would want to use my old car. I want to eject from every car

I want to mount a turret on top of my old car. That's her and why I drive it around why a turret We'll picture this okay picture got an old car Yes, it's being pulled by four horses Wait, and then you hunk of metal car old hunk of metal car and the engine is not in it Is not a lot of horses. Okay, and you got a turret on there. Okay, think of how many Iraqis you could kill, okay?

Can you think of a good tear I don't know why you just said that So can you think of a good post caption on what I'm making a post What's it about? Oh, just pictures from the weekend post Yeah, can I see yeah if you tell me a good caption I'll post it and then you can see it to bros hanging out. No, that's stupid So I was it's pictures from me hanging out with my bro and me hanging out with my other friend who's a girl

To cause I was about to say the boys, but then that'd be funny. Maybe Hey, hey, I'm with the boys hanging with the boys and then like it's not and it's be oh I The boy any other more creative one. I was gonna say two boys one girl, but that's kind of weird Oh, there's a great part of a stand-up clip from an Estonian dude an Estonian dude. Yeah, you're way

Goes where he goes. Oh, just hang out the boys in one later with the girl. No, no, no, he does it so funny Wait, who's making why are you making a post for I really want to know I'll show you okay? Cool, I can't you can think of a good caption for it the F1 weekend That's kind of good actually F1 weekend Kind of creative too. Hey, it's not even an F1 weekend, but sure Shit, that's that's your F1 weekend man. That's right

That's it right Mike. Yeah, see what did I do? There's no F1 this weekend There's not but we wouldn't explore like the bunkers down in Fort Warden You know, yeah, those are fun. Those are fun. There's actually a I have a alright. Here's here's the funny thing Okay, I guess we're getting interrupted. How do I interrupt this broadcast for an important?

Here's the boy here's where he says so when I say when I say the boys, this is what I mean Listen and think to yourself must be nice You know just to be like Fuck it because if you're like a working-class asshole like us life keeps fucking me up my ass Every year I gotta make more room in my asshole Government to fit There inflation Price of gas what's happening in Gaza? Is Joe Biden a lizard?

And then you look at the homeless dudes just chilling with the boys Give a fuck who's president you see some pretty lady go by you already know you're not gonna fuck her Might as well pull your dick out You ever Parry says killing with the boys might as well pull your dick out That's actually pretty true In a way if you're homeless you just don't give a fuck about what's going on. Yeah, you just chillin with the boys Boys and your hungry and you're hungry And also that What did I interrupt oh?

I'm trying to get a good I broke your post caption you broke my pillow. I Broke your flow You're an engineer engineer me something wait is now You're an engineer engineer me something Oh I want something freaky too because he's he's asking you to write like I'm dressed like Writing you just draw a lot Why you so looking for a title? Yeah, the boys is not a good enough one Just as boys, you know, it's like two girls in this post and one boy good point aside from myself

Good point just say like this is like my f1 weekend, bro. Shut the fuck up. That has nothing to do with anyone I did the caption stupid the caption is fucking stupid anyway. It's true and like I could get away with it What it'd be funny. Yeah, why not? I need something like number one people number one weekend And that sounds like I'm either like gay Or a woman and I'm neither of those things. That's only cuz I said it that way. No, no, no, no matter how you said that

It translates to that voice. You know, just see just try saying it Guarantee you'll come through that's in the same voice. Oh Wait, hey number one you could say this Listen so he said it and he thought it was different, but you know what Terry and I both heard Yeah, even though you thought you said it different I would say what if you said hang out with my two best girls and then my brother

No, that's just saying what you were doing. You have to be clever. Yeah, that is not being clever. Wait, why don't we just Have an idea. Why would you just generate something for him? I already tried that chat you bet he sucks Here's you go. Here you go. Just make it call it at last With exclamation mark at last. Yeah, don't you fucking remember? Yeah, the song. You're your intro song Yes

Yeah, but extended that way I could add the song to the post. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I Don't know if that's the vibe guys Well videos in the post to that are kind of funny and you can't put music this this pictures of your sister and your friend and me You're not in the post Do you want to be in the post? I thought you said you were hanging out with me and you had pictures of our friendship No, I have pictures with me in Travis. Oh

Oh, do you want a picture? Wait, who are you? I got a picture of this podcast to it. Don't put a picture of me on the internet Who is you wanted it? You just know I was a little sparkle I thought I thought you had done it without my consent and you were gonna go along with it. Maybe who were the people?

For Travis, Holly Olivia. Okay, so everything I said was correct except minus me plus Travis. Yeah, okay So it can't be since it has your sister it can't be about Like this I guess well, it would all be platonic My love has come along my lonely days are over and life is like a song. Oh, yeah, yeah At last those guys above our blue my heart was wrapped up in clover the night I looked at you Hey, it's not the right way. Here we go. Just look at song lyrics

Okay, you'll find me a song. Give me a song. What should what song should we look up? Let's do this. Let's do this. Oh Look at the new licking Park song Oh, yeah, they got a new lead singer dude. It's a good song when they released the lady. Yeah, just She's just pretty good. See I was afraid that all their new music was gonna sound like a Lincoln Park with a cover Like a cover of Lincoln Park

You know what I mean? Yeah, actually sounds pretty good emptiness machine. You know to play And look at the lyrics Well, it's kind of like they always come out with something different every time they come out with an album They're really good at it. How about that flashing your favorite point of view? That's pretty good I'm guessing that he's Reading There you go that Oh, how he got a big cut in her knee yesterday, it's perfect wait a big I'll get bled. Yeah, that's perfect

Then nobody's gonna get me. I know I agree with you You gotta hit look keep playing it. It kind of hits I'm trying to play less copyrighted music on the show. Yeah, we're getting flagged. No, I don't care I About this falling for a promise empty why just called emptiness machine Because Lincoln Park released a song the same weekend I made the post because there's a fire under the altar What about under my skin?

Man, it's a lot of cutting and bleeding this song That's pretty dark Why does it have to have a title you need like something can you words? Can you explain this a little more for someone like me who's illiterate when it comes to modern social media? And I generally despise this as well, but I'm trying to post on what now Instagram So you do like ten pictures or something in a like a group. Yeah Through them, okay, and then you do a little caption. Okay, some people do hashtags. I'm not really

That's it and then you can like stop stop. That's your title some people do hashtags. That's it You said it not me that's great though. Some people Some people do has just that leave it at that Yeah, that's a great You know this but that's exactly the kind of shit we do for titles on this podcast

Yeah, it just completely random someone says something that's good. It's too long though Is it you think so some people do hashtags that fiber hashtag or Hashtags one word some people do hashtags I like chilling with the boys, but I'll write it down I'll write it down. That's another talking about all right it down This is how you create a genius some people do hashtag and then hashtags I could do a hashtag at the bottom hashtag Hashtags and people do hashtags Some people do hashtags

I should have some people wait so like hear me out here. Oh Oh, Mike, can you queue up something? I want people to hear it though There are fewer than 100 posts with that hashtag in the world What was that a thing you it tells you how many other

So like if you'd hashtag love it'd be like a billion. Yeah, okay, and it would say that mm-hmm Wow, you want to see how many let's do hashtag love well centralized social media is a scam don't use it All right, so I said my piece go ahead hashtag love 2.1 billion posts Man, are we now are we doing that? Yeah, we're just playing songs Terry. Yeah, just queue it up

Did you text it to me earlier? No, I just did it now. I just I just did it on there I just didn't want to send and send unless you know didn't you just sent me a thing Yeah, that's a good song that but it's a different song You know what I just told you to play. Yeah, it's a sports theme song and it's not this and it's not that okay Can you actually tell me it then I didn't see oh is it something I can find in title? No, I don't think so

Okay, what's the what's the new season? What's the new sports season that's going on right now? The new sports season. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah pigskin. Oh Like the season just yeah, yeah, yeah play the song Why because I want you to Like how you cut me out don't put me on the internet you put me on the internet Don't take a picture of this room on the internet do it Seriously don't all right then I

Think Tyler I want our happy weekend friendship to just be between us. Okay, the world doesn't need to know Tyler Tyler hey Tyler Tyler you know what what we're enough we are you're right our our barn Our bond is a good one. We're enough I'm a fucking fucking genius and I switch your father Thanks. Yeah, where'd you get it? Thanks to the beach beach beach. Let's go to the beach beach. Let's go in a way Okay, what are we doing Terry put a fucking NFL song NFL song? Jesus? Why is why why why?

Because it's starting it started today who fucking cares some people do Let's let it rip for the enjoyable of the further peoples Just play it once this it. I don't know Yep Why are we doing this footballs back baby? Here we go 16 weeks of the regular season actually it's I think it's 17 17 weeks of the regular season We are back. We're gonna watch all your teams destroy other teams and all your other teams that you don't like Beat your team and then you get mad at them

Apparently it is. It's back. All right plug our shit. Terry. We got to do at the top of the hour Oh, yeah, my bad because we're not you know that far in and people are gonna lose you connected to everything Hey, I just want you to know Whoa, hey, go ahead accept this Wait, wait, where you sending to me? Does you're connected? No, he's connected For your president for there's no audience you just fuck that up. That's fine

You just started by saying for your president. Yeah for your president. You're such an R word Can I not make myself? No, you are nominated on there. Okay, you're not but they're just You're just guessed dude all vote for myself You know you can't rules if you vote now you know the since you're in this room now You can't do it. You can't do anything. We're about to show you Gotcha, but you are rules, but you what you are rules? No I'm about to take a wet shit

Again during the middle podcast probably that's fine. That's fine. He goes probably all right We have a straw poll for the president of there's no audience there's me Terry versus Mike versus guests It ends in 58 days and 13 hours obviously you guys are doing a great job by Not voting which is great. Which means we don't have any check the description check the description people and click the link

It's a straw poll link. Please vote. It is a straw poll even if we just get one vote would it be nice Tyler? That means you can not go to the straw poll and vote. Okay, wait, so guests. That's me. Yes, you are a guest So we're ending it when the presidential election happened We are plugging ourselves and I fight for the people Mike just fights for more tariffs His tariff is taking away my Yeah buttons. I'm pro pro buttons Terry's anti buttons. That's not true

I'm I'm all about the buttons. Yeah. Yeah, if you have to shit you can go shit. I don't need to yet Okay, I feel it coming. Yeah, is it gonna do this alone? This is gonna what's gonna happen to you? Terry sorry Or hold on I Need a look because I think like what do I stand for? Well? Yeah, what do you stand for? What do you stand for the people? It's a good question. Does this make you want to shit more or less? Did you see that Did you see it? This is for drew man I was expecting like

That's for drew man. It's like a cross between some weird internet. What's it like? It's like it was like a What's the thing that's on your computer with all about the farting and shitting noises the clip? Yeah, the sound clip the sound clip Yeah, there's one in there Pacific is specifically for if this is how you're feeling So we're gonna Mike's gonna play these sounds and you tell us which sounds you might think come out your ass

Why you take a shit in a second? I want everybody to reflect real quick and just think to yourself. Yeah, go ahead What sounds come out of your ass? sometimes as good to Honestly when I take a shit nothing really comes out unless I have like diarrhea or Like I'm shooting shotguns or like a machine gun on my butt. Gotcha You know I'm saying like you probably might have that in like five minutes

You know, it's really not that bad. You don't think so really like I'm low-end You know how like wait, I guess you wouldn't know like when I drink too much and I like drink too much beer I have really bad shit. Okay, and it's like it's like I'm just watching his face watching his face at the end go from just like nothing to like The smile you ever done this Tyler? It's never been so like ASMR in my in my face Wait, don't you have yours?

Is that on my computer? I think it's on your computer. I think I can get it on my computer Oh, yeah, all my shit for my phone just dumps on the mice server. Yeah, I can find it there Stand by please standing by What's it? Well, it's a video, but it doesn't actually have any Didn't you send it to me? I think I just played it on here Man you're really into that song aren't you it's pretty good I didn't like it the first time I heard it

But a lot of a lot of things happen like that the Lincoln Park song. Yeah, it's like it's like old Lincoln Park I have to listen to it all. I haven't even listened to it all the way through like pretty solid I It gives me like old timey vibes like the last I was very like pop and I thought they were gonna keep doing that But this is like they're trying to go back to what they used to be good at it's gonna be hard because Don't get me wrong

She's doing great. She sounds great. Yeah, but it's no Chester true It's no Chester. Which is why they're having the other guys sing a lot in it Michael Mike. I love my son. Oh, yeah, here you go There's it's not a video. It's just the audio only but you can look at my feet Who wait the fuck this is you Oh, I can I can turn it up. Wait, you never seen that video. No

Is it it's meant for audio capture only gotcha. Yeah, so what we're trying to have people do is not people That was a bad day for you her I was a very uncomfortable moment You know we were talking about giving birth earlier you get birthed that shit Yeah, I mean Tyler we're talking about like how crazy it is to give birth. It's just insane. Yeah, dude some fucking thing that is Alive alive inside you are feeding off of like a In what are they called?

A bet local cord and then bellicose cord that you're eating for two people. Well, we aren't but women are and then Just but we talked about it and we decided that we wouldn't want to obviously because we're dudes But like for a woman it's like part of her DNA. So yeah, they don't have the same level of Repulsion my god, that's crazy. Yeah, they're like, oh, that's I just had that I just had can you go on there and play

I think it's Ken's little marr DNA. I just had that thing when you said DNA. Yep, cool Yeah, that's it I'm starting to like Kendrick Lamar more. Yeah starting to yeah Try looking up a song to stifle imperial progression What? It's a song to stifle imperial progression

Stifle that should do it. Yeah, did you hear about a had a friend sent me this like this four months ago? They used Look at the lyrics for like cut means of pieces and shit Yeah used is like a like a Yeah, just me dude If you want This is just like like propaganda for music like America This is if you really want to know something look up anti flag you just I get it. Yeah, that's a flag anti flag Can you tell me who sings it anti flag what's the band called anti flag is the song name

What's the song name? Just just go into anti flags like page and just look at their shit the press cord Like drink drink palm. This is the end died for the government. I forgot what like their biggest songs were Look I got a guy for your government die for your country that shit. It's like a punk rock band. It sounds like a good day It's a punk rock. You're right. You're right. You're right Okay, great

What are we doing here folks? We're just pulling out there like a million songs like that anti government shit Yeah, I think that's what oh did you hear about like? Yes, the starliner It's finally coming back. You're fucking you're jumping the gun Terry. I got a whole fucking. Oh my bad. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry. We can talk about it. No, it's cool Actually what I can Hey, Terry, hey, Terry, man, if you know, this is my beat

You know, this is my I know, but I don't want to step over. I don't want to step any more over the line You know, I'm saying if it's your shit actually, I do want to bring up something before we talk about your starliner Can you go to my videos? Yeah, I want you to play The one on the left This is a PSA for Owners including yourself car owners. Yeah Maverick owners, but mostly is it a Maverick? No, but mostly for Ford

Yeah, mostly for Ford's bad news from Ford today is the company wait. That's how it starts bad news from Ford today is Yeah, yeah, hey Mike, I'm bad news for today. Okay, ready the company may have to replace over 90,000 engines due to a potential failure. Let's go follow up according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration or the NHTS a Ford and Lincoln are recalling 90,736 vehicles that come equipped with the turbocharged I have two recalls on my truck

Haven't gotten fixed really they keep bugging me about it 2.7 liter and 3 liter eco boost. I don't have a there those That's fine. You never know Are they gonna think mine's two liter four cylinder eco boosts?

These engines and the affected vehicles may contain intake valves that have a propensity to crack and break I'm just saying I'm giving I'm giving the people a PSA and you because your eco boost engine might have this problem They said 2.7 and 3.0 liter doesn't matter like the explorers and other vehicles doesn't fails mainly correct

But still it could happen to you, but it's not listed here. That's fine catastrophic engine damage Resulting in a loss of motor also kind of just say of all the things that are a risk to the to the person driving This is not one of them all that will happen is your engine will blow up and you'll lose power But it's not like the car is gonna blow up or something right? Oh power the vehicles affected by this recall include 2021 to 2022 models including 47,719 Ford F-150s 15,835 That's

47,000 it's like the the top-selling fucking truck in the country. That's not even a lot compared to how many are out there though Yeah, like there's so many for this. So many of them. Yeah, I was in 262 explorers 2366 Ford edges 7199 Lincoln aviators and 5 Lincoln That wasn't funny nice track Ford is aware of 811 warranty claims with fractured intake valves Letters to owners who are affected by the recall will begin going out starting October 7th

The others will need to inspect each vehicle. What's it? They just put in waiting so long. What do you mean? What did they just put in the bed right there? 111 warranty claims with fractured intake valves Letters to owners who are affected by the recall will begin going out starting

Oh putting a bolt in okay. I was like damn that truck is moving so fast. They just like quickly put the bolt in 7th deals will need to inspect each vehicle perform an engine cycle test and other just drilling into the chassis No cost to the customer Ford will also reimburse any customers who paid out of pocket to repair the issue on their own Oh wait pause that That's gonna take forever

To get your money back. Yeah get money back from fucking Ford 100% You think they're just gonna be like if I go up to you know a lot of people talk shit about Ford But I've had nothing but good experiences Seriously like all the way around tell me more like from buying my Ford all the way till I getting at service Like I just had like no problems. Hmm. No complaints. How long did it take you to get your?

Your ranger Raptor, you know Well that I mean that wasn't that that was just a pure supply and demand thing That wasn't like a Ford thing does because of COVID no that was really on top of their shit They would move the world that was because of a supply and demand that every manufacturer was dealing with that wasn't like a unique To Ford problem your vehicle is affected by this recall. You can simply visit nhtsa.gov slash recalls

That's a piece of it. Thanks Terry. Thanks a lot for that. That's great. We're not just the clip Yes, okay, Tyler's piss. He's like what the fuck I wanted something to blow up or I Don't have any of that Alright well these are just races now these are just the race recaps from us Scott Tyler gotcha. Well, let's check those out later. Yeah, we can we don't have to play them I said you're my funny video Mike. I believe you

It's pretty good too. Is it You are you cruising for today's an unmanned spacecraft will be returning to earth landing here in the land of enchantment And where it's landing at no one knows Has a Tyler you don't you don't get to talk about this Got it hey Okay, that unique history news 13s Gabe Chavez has the story Currently we're targeting this Friday September the 6th 6. Oh for Eastern. Oh, this should already landed on doc

I thought you knew it landed. I heard it that it got released. I didn't knew yeah, they were they I'm such a fucking nerd dude. I watched it live What time was it so say the clock in the morning I watched the undocked no I watched it undocked on Friday at 3 p.m. Pacific so it undocked from the International Space Station I watched that live and then it landed Like they talked the cap it landed right at

Was it 9 p.m. Pacific I think it was like midnight Eastern or something wait on Friday. Oh you watched it. Oh, it's on Friday. Okay. Yeah So you stayed up and watch the whole thing. No, I just happened They still be awake at 9 p.m. And was like, oh, I turned it on and like it was just landing

I didn't like try to land it peacefully. Yeah, I wanted to watch the undocking me What is it was like a bunch of like fucking Martians like scrambling out of it like little Bitch spiders, it'll be so fucking funny It's like one of those videos where it says like they planted something inside of it and then like did you just say bitch spiders?

That's a great show title Thank you a Bunch of Martians scrambling out of it So here we go So it this is after actually a little bit of background for you Tyler This this Starliner spacecraft is a competitor to SpaceX and this is that was their first crewed mission Gotcha, and they had issues When they were launching the two people up into space you have to shit. No, you look like you're like I'm really tired. Okay. What time do you go to sleep?

Probably by one wait don't know what the fuck is wrong with you read a bunch of us bad three days so Plague with issues flying up they had thruster malfunctions and once they docked with the space station They went through a bunch of testing and like delayed their return trip And they finally decided that it wasn't safe enough to bring the two astronauts back with the thing Yeah, so they're bringing it back unmanned

Yeah, I should be at trust are still in the space correct and they have to stay until February of next year Because they can't go back with it And they was gonna be an eight-day trip and it's gonna end up being like an eight month trip and are they like

They're chilling they're chilling in the space station, but that's the background for you. Well also before before they even Were getting launched by a huge rocket that might kill everybody inside of it Like they delayed that too because there was like a leak somewhere Like the Ford F-150s But also that same leak that they quote-unquote fixed

Was the one that why they couldn't like the thrusters were leaking. Oh, so they botched it pretty much Okay, so we're gonna watch it so the moral of the story is NASA decided a little while ago like a week or two ago That they could not bring the astronauts back. It was too risky. So they did it back unmanned. Gotcha. Yeah, okay So that's the that's the Information for you, okay So here you go

Oh that silence, I think this is cool. I'm a fucking nerd. So you believe this is real So funny and funny you should say that no Space is fake. Oh Oh Let me see the undocking oh Shit, it's like, you know when you get this perfectly good shit when it comes out your ass when you're pushing through just like So there's like springs in the spacecraft that just slowly push it away Confirmed that's amazing

Separation confirmed that's a good caption. Yes, too late separation confirmed but that That's our show title every time because we had Godspeed Starliner when they launched we have to do that Mike

You're gonna be in the bathroom. I just gonna walk to the door like separation Just imagine you're just imagine you're in there like a public bathroom doing that and just like you just sit down take a shit No, no, no, no separation confirmed hold on Shut up Separation confirmed so what you need is that lady saying that Recorded a little sound bite on your phone that you can play as loud as possible So you're in a public restroom you just drop a deuce. Yeah, and then you play separation confirmed

So everyone can hear you like that's amazing Mike. I just want you know you need to you need to Get a sound bite of that just separation confirmed clip this bitch. Yes

Let's clip it please. Starliner is now backing away from station and starting its return to earth Starliner's ancestors will then complete two short firings to gradually increase the separation speed to help the spacecraft carefully move away from the orbiting lab So they like it backs up and then they launch a bunch of like thrusters to like get it and it slowly goes Bye-bye that makes sense and then it gets outside of like the area and then exactly my typical bathroom experience

Dude space is just like a it's just like launching and launching or I guess so it was nighttime So it was like so these thermals. Yeah, but here you go There it goes then there it goes and there it goes So this is you can see the airbags to deploy at least starliner did something correct Nitrogen as they guide starliner safely back to the desert floor

In the middle of the night 9 p.m. So it takes about six hours to come back to earth So then it let coast down Umbrella's and it has a little airbag on the bottom when it hits the ground And that's a new thing isn't it it's like the way they do the dragon. I think and this it's like a new thing Before it was just like you know dude, you're just gonna have a really good one. That's right before it was the space shuttle

Well, I'm sorry. I'm really good at this. Hell. Yeah. What's that? I said, they're getting really good at this. Well, it's like So this is not space. This is the competitor. Gotcha. This is star. This is Boeing's starliner

Is it way more impressive what SpaceX does? No, they like land rockets SpaceX just did this like way faster and Arguably better that's been Boeing did But the Boeing and SpaceX have both have the contracts to send astronauts to the International Space Station cool Touchdown touchdown touchdown So the moral the story is Touchdown everything went out perfectly without a hitch so they could have put the people on but you know in high

You know hindsight. Yeah, but in hindsight now, they're stuck till February How crazy would that be? If you were stuck in space for an extra and you just could have Well, what I mean time you but you couldn't because NASA gets to decide what you do and don't right, but you could but you could You could have come back and not died you could have said hey fuck you. I'm getting in the thing It doesn't look like that. Yeah, no

They're just not gonna open the doors for you. If you're an astronaut if you're an astronaut you basically like follow It's like you're in the military. Yeah, you don't own yourself anymore. That's right They own you basically which is kind of crazy unless you go rogue. Well unless you go wrong. Hey, I'm in space motherfucker I think they have lots of systems to make it so you can't go wrong But do you imagine your brain imagine what happens if like someone that you so anyway

That's the conclusion of the saga way. Hold on. I will be back We'll be back with you folks in a number of months when the two astronauts come back into SpaceX spaceship safely We'll bring it back. They're gonna come back in a space exhibition. Dude. That's like the ultimate like fuck you. Oh, yeah

Yes, so I'm on it. It's not a good Imagine if you go like so like say you trained for going up into space and you're like, oh fuck yeah And then somehow hey, you could do it Tyler you could train cuz you're good in a pool true That's what they do. They got my left grid certification like they trained like a big-ass pool. You'd be good Hey, you should do it. You should become an astronaut. Yes. That's it. There are some funny stories from that I

Know if you know, well, it's only if you want to talk about it. I don't know funny stories about you getting a lifeguard certification Yeah, the the course instructor was like jacked But he kind of talked like this So he's gay jacked. Yeah, something wrong with that. It was okay. It's alright

Something wrong about being jacked. No anyways, the preliminary So you get there and you have to do preliminary tests to decide if you're even eligible to do the course And if you don't this is a lifeguard test like physical like yeah, so you have to like you have to swim swim 50 Now you said to swim 100 yards and then tread water for two minutes without your hands just your feet So you have your hands like this. I could do that. Yeah, and then you have to swim another 50 yards

I don't know that I would want to swim a bunch of yards, but I can there's other one. We have to swim down With no goggles retrieve a brick from the bottom of the pool like the deepest section and pull the brick back up And then swim with it on your chest On your back. Oh, I get it feet only because you're holding that's right Nice, it was crazy though. Yeah, you did it. Yep. That's the deepest part of the pool six feet probably 12

12 at least okay, yeah 12 to 15. Oh 15. I'm not sure it's at least 12 12 is a minimum diving Okay, yeah, I always thought of 12 is like the deep side of the pool, but maybe that's like I think 12 might be right, but 12 is the minimum I know for diving you have to do as well I think some pretty sure to be certified. Well to be able to dive into the pool legal like, you know I'm with you. I'm sorry You won't have a diving got it got it. Thank you

It's a lot of fun though. You learn about a CPR and did you see if you are so I can spy yeah, but yeah, I've been CPR certified I get CPR certified for my job and CPR certified like a year ago American pool enterprises I get it. I gotta do the Hey there potential lifeguards Are you ready to dive in and learn about what it takes to a potential lifeguard? This video looks like it's older than a year ago

David, let's make a splash. No, that definitely looks like a year ago. Look how shaky that camera is First of all, you have to have these kind of sunglasses Fuck boy. It was your white boy summer some white boy summer You should also be comfortable in and around the water before registering for a lifeguard training class Why don't you do the ocean lifeguard Academy now the ocean lifeguard? I did the Red Cross Anyways I

Awful the bell peppers. That is so bad I like how you just sitting here ripping ass Is it just quite like farts? Yeah, I'm loving like I'm having like a moment I can feel another one coming. I just want you know if you vote if you vote for guests. Oh, bro. I'll be right back I can't so bad Like on a scale of how bad I can still see like soaked in the chair It's just lingering I can't have that No, dude. Oh, it's only on that side. I don't know

How bad like what does it taste like rotten eggs? It's just lingering Yeah, I don't smell anything You want to watch what I want to try like the f1 video clips Why we'll come back to this really give a shit about him. Oh

Really bad. I don't know which one's which so Cuz this one I think that one's Zandavort Zandavort Zandavort Zandavort Zandavort Zandavort Zandavort Yeah, okay, Logan Isn't it funny I'm surprised they give them they give them that long these worse than shoe marker Right, no, this is just a matchup of Sergeant crashing Yeah, cuz I think it was after Zandavort they

Candom that's but this isn't a song about Zandavort. This is a song about him crashing correct You He's gonna give it back to like formula to I Don't think you ever go back to formula to think you can Yeah, I think you just move on to other series like Indy car and things like that. You probably be the fan on yeah Did you close the door?

That was zero solid 100% liquid I Think I've got like a stomach bug or something 100% liquid I just want to know you know folks that we So many good choices my Mike has a notebook just full of show titles I just love that you said that because I've told like Remember this is like exactly when I was like sick that last time when I shit myself in my bed

Remember that story I told you yourself in your bed. Oh, no, remember when I was telling you tight Terry's control of your bowels No, I went to fart and then a little bit of shit came out It hasn't happened to me in like seven years. So This is actually a good segue Tyler. It was like a little wait, so What you're describing? Yeah, 100% liquid So last like last time I was really sick. I think it was a stomach bug Yeah, it was like two and a half three days of just needing to be near a toilet

So I just like stayed home. I was like I was sweating like shivers and stuff Yeah, and I would um Every one and a half hours two hours. I had to go on the toilet and it was just like It was like a tether. It was 100% liquid or is it liquid for like two days straight? Yeah, and it was like when you had you got the feeling you had to get on the fucking toilet. Yeah

Yeah, it's like you're barely holding correct. It's like correct like at the door knocking correct ready to get like ready to rumble And so as I was getting sick I didn't think that was gonna happen to me and I thought it was like I wasn't to that point yet And I woke up the morning when I wasn't feeling well and I felt like I had to fart and I didn't know And so I was like oh, it's a fart and I went to fart and immediately I knew yeah, I was like, oh shit

And I let it go and then I immediately brought it back. Yeah, like it was like What do you brought it back? It's like when you go No No, so I I went to far and like I let some out and it was like a hundred percent liquid Yeah, and a little bit came out when I realized and then I stopped it obviously Yeah, when I realized I was having a clutch the cheeks. Yeah, and so it's just it's kind of like underwear only

Mm-hmm, but it's good. Dang really it was not good. Yeah, and then the next three days straight I was a hundred percent liquid in the toilet. There you go Yeah I'm a very healthy person So I don't get sick very often and when I do it's pretty mild But I don't think you're sick. You don't think so. What do you think it is then? I don't know You just got the runs from what? I don't know give me a reason could

Just some like bad food was it just this morning or yesterday just this morning yesterday. I've been phenomenal Solid shifts. What did you what did you what did you eat yesterday? I don't I only like Okay, what did you eat? What did you before you came to my home? The answer is chicken. Okay. Okay. What else? And some lettuce what else and then when you got here we had Rice vegetables and venison. Yeah, could have been the venison. Oh, that's true. No, I don't think so

Why would that be? Yeah, you know the way no, do you venison that often? No, then that's why But I don't either and I had venison but I like I had a second before I would assume they goes through Let's look it up. I've had venison before you just have him look it up on the screen My shits have been so solid I can't even shit. I'm like the opposite of tight I'm like literally not backed up, but I'm like not ready to shit even

God, we're such a fucking DJ in addition eating raw or undercooked wild game. We can result in several other illnesses So it was all mild diarrhea that goes away on its own You're fine You probably didn't cook it all Plenty I cook it over done. I'm not sure mild diarrhea. Oh my that's not a show That's not a that's not a good show brother that goes away on its own. That's not I Like how you go he goes mild diarrhea it goes away on its own. That's a long-ass show title

I'm not gonna make that the title right down because it's hilarious. I'm not gonna make it stupid He likes to have these little notebooks in like he dates the correct. He looks at the yeah, he has a notebook full of them There's a lot of them in there nine Eight twenty four. I was your birthday Terry Is that a topic you want to discuss on the show or no, it was fine. It's just another day to be honest You might have asked how old you are you can guess Do you mind if I ask how old you are?

33 spot on right. Let's finish this video Spot on we can help with the rest Now I want you to watch this closely and tell us how this differs from your experience I'm not this just as past. All right. Okay, whatever Go ahead go you'll get a few hours of instruction on safety and first aid for our professionals stop But you're probably Did you get that a few hours experience? No Instructions. It was six hours of online dumb videos

Pre-requisite online dumb and then just a physical test five days from 8 a.m. To 1 p.m. In person in Kent I had to drive an hour Dang wait so you had to like get in the pool for that long and do a bunch of I was in the water for like four hours a Day for like four days in around the last day was mostly out of the window That's not true like I was in the water like a salt for four some days three hours a day Okay, doing curious about the testing requirements for lifeguard certification

You'll need to pass a few tests with different levels of difficulty based on the type of facility where you'll be working For most locations the standard pool training is all you need, but there are a few special facilities like open water environments

Types of facilities did you get the standard training? I got the all-encompassing training I got the full-on Red Cross on slot of everything shallow standard and whatever this is like Shallow training for water less than five feet deep standard training for pools over five feet in depth No, we're watching the video and then you tell us what you're how you differ from okay And I have like a notepad it's jot down some things or it's not yeah, do you want to write a mind?

You were swimming for a set distance It's full. I don't ever like you just have to make it without taking a break If you're going to be a shallow water lifeguard, this looks easy 50 yards without stopping all right if you're worth oh 100 yards, I don't even know you get 100. I don't think this is like a Red Cross

All right, let's look this up. This is not the Red Cross official There prerequisites this one, but that's just the prerequisites I already explained to you Why are we looking at this sounds like someone's taking a piss it does sound like that doesn't know Sounds like This is not sound like hold on I'm Katie. I'm a pool manager. That's not sound like fun. No, no being a pool manager I actually watched the video to below your test question. You know we should start watching Mikey

Are you done with this Tyler? You don't care about this. It's not that Mike. No, we should watch the video. I send you okay Mikey Can I help you Terry? You know we should start watching. No, I don't we should start watching a wrc rally Okay But you barely watch F1. What are you talking about? I watched all the time

You sure you can handle another one. Yeah, I watch a WRC. Yeah, I'm not gonna say anything. I'm just gonna let you watch You know WRC is No world rally cross You got a WRC WRC W. Oh Yeah What's this what are we doing the fuck is this? Cleaning day and this week my boyfriend and I are swapping chores to spice things up So babe you have to descale the news Okay, and you need to be gizmer his morning meal What gizmer? Can you have no idea the chores I do around the house?

So you take these And you give them to gizmer No, there's nothing funny about gizmer Okay, so you think you know so take these honey honey I'm showing you and throw the fuck I just want you to know the difference between your sense of humor than our sense of humor is so fucking like One end of the specie yesterday and they were like on the ground like not really that's funny. It's so fine

We're in we're in there. Do you think that's funny really that didn't Like I get the point where sometimes my videos don't get you and Therapies don't get me you say this is approximately a decade and a half difference in age of humor a hundred percent Well because that doesn't that doesn't make any sense to me just some dude sitting there with a Dude saying you got to feed my my friend that's in the fucking make a second attempt sure go for it I

See that's funny. I like that one. You have you two more. Yeah Second and third attempt and that's all do do that one. Oh god I just know this is funny. This is funny. That's good. I like that. It's good. It's like his mom or something. Yeah, hold on Like some person flying across the guy That's obviously not a real person on that but still Yeah, that's great. Oh great here we go What was I

Fuck I saw something with an autistic person there. I should have made it a little bit damn it never mind. Okay This is a video about middle schoolers miss girl middle schoolers now versus their dance. I love this song This is Macha Bob Macha Bob Ijean Hello, today Joshua is going to Levitate on our magic show I like this way, oh, yes, how'd you like that? That's good, but now you got it. This so this kid is me and Terry

You're a little girl generation. Yeah, watch my homie levitate Like that's my show That's back in the day when yourself on a video was like awkward. Yeah, yeah, and not normal. Yeah, hello That's like so good his fucking face towards the end was fucking phenomenal dude That's beautiful. That's a good way. That's a goody man. You were danger self-tie you. Yeah, the first one not so funny. That's crazy

Oh, man, that's good. That's good. I like it. All right. I'll have a watch these two. Yeah, we can yeah, I Don't know which one's what so have we seen them There is a new one that's I think that one's the one with a lot of people on us That's the Monza one. So that I think the one on the left is the Was before Monza Sandevoir, I think this one's that's why no one on the left. Yeah, that's in that's one I It's crazy that last week on Monza only one by one

I won with the we both got one and then I got the tie. There's no fucking crashes anymore There's no red flags. There's no fucking safety cars anymore. I know man. So fucking boring that many safety cars at all We need some more safety cars anymore crashes. That's what we need fucking me. That's pretty dark. That's pretty here's Monza They only crash during like they only crash during like free practice and shit sucks and And qualifying and you're not watching. Yeah That's

Excellent that's good. I should like that song I would say that You just like only can park it's funny that you think that's like that's my Elementary music it's old. Yeah, thanks. I live it is this from Fort Worden. This is a week ago. Is he I Like it you zoom in while he's taking a piss and then zoom out that was a quick pee That was a quick pee. I didn't have very much crocs Is he biking on crocs? Yeah, but we were going down to the water with no socks

I've done that if you're going to the water. Yeah, yeah, you wouldn't go on a ride with that way But you just like a short jump down to the water. I was gonna say

I was gonna say if you're riding a bicycle for like a long time with that. What a beautiful river and a wonderful day I just want to know you're very interesting, and I like it This is he's trying to bridge that little kid video with the new age like girls dancing He's trying to go back to the original of like kids doing stupid ass shit This is what we do most of that. Yeah, that you just use you are next to a nice river He's trying to go back to his roots. You watch your friend pee. Yeah

Hey, hey Terry, that sounds exactly like my child. That sounds like what we did Yeah, but usually what we did was when your friend I'm not like when what the other when we do when someone else's peas What we do is we push them. Mmm. Oh, yeah, so they piss all over their hand and their leg and shit

Yeah, just this was yesterday. I Remember I remember I used to always be so paranoid when I was taking a piss outside and a do an AJ was anywhere near me I would literally be so paranoid because he would always do that to me Yeah, that's what what friends that's what friends did So I think he shoved me before still hard though like I fell down and like piss got everywhere All right, shut up. Oh No, look look

Oh, that's freaky you need it more of her in the video. Yeah, you need it you need it me like more con like towards the back You need more for talking you need you Are you more of like the conscious got a shuffling down this part Hello, you need more of the contrast of it to be see it like you can see it That sounds so bad Like hello giggle, that's creepy as fuck that is pretty cool. You can't get all the entire way it runs a video. I'm sorry

We're giving you notes on your on your photographer skills. Are we just watching videos what you like did yesterday? I Was to eat this is a week and a half Can I just say I like I like his swim shorts. Yeah, they're nice No homo, okay There's something wrong about commenting on some I Like that he's wearing a helmet that's fucking cool He's being safe. I like Is the that's the end shot right the fact that he has a helmet on ah

I should have been my post that final shot there for the dr. Pepper can your thumbnail. Yeah, I should have been it Do you post these to the gram? Yeah? Did the kids call it the gram I Was I was just to call it I always thought it was called the gram people call it. Yo you post a show on the Where was it was it or not? What was it? I? Forgot what I was like that's a good fine

Do for the gram or nah or something like that. I think that's what it was Okay, it's really Yeah, so real That's not a little bit You can't see Flash guns flash guys Where's the creepy girl, what do you mean the creepy girl? I want more of that. It's funny Like these are we've done this before the same concept Tyler go the other way. Yeah, Tyler go the other way I'll give video you dying I got you your tongue out. No you're right. I do

Didn't even know that you had that out. I noticed like yesterday when I watched it Wow, that's like that's like peak physical performance right there. Yeah, it's pretty what an athletic specimen I am truly That's Mike that's a Dutch shows my brother. I would do something way dumber than that. I'm gonna get to the top. Yeah I Wasn't even that bad. It was slippery though. Yeah. Yeah You get new shoes then you don't get grip dog That's funny yeah

God damn. Oh god You make too many home videos Tyler That was a compliment He took it as a one. That's his best he's gonna get It's a lot going on here, you know what I'm saying We're having a we're in a fantastic time right now All right, whatever what's on the docket? Tyler what you got for us? What's the latest and greatest? And what's going on in your life in the world of the Graham of the Graham is the Graham

Only a part of your life for the Graham. I really don't are not what I'm more of a content Actually, it's the other way around that was a lot I'm over Yeah, go Oh Give me ten good ones David Goggles motherfucker, let's go Come on you ain't done yet Who's gonna carry the boats? Who's gonna carry the boats Tyler? Come on Three more he said doesn't even a more seven nine Those are full extension. That's pretty fucking hard. You're ten full full extension. Yes, dude chin ups

No, no, these are the harder look at full extension. That's fucking hard. So this way is harder than this. Yeah, dude These are hard. You couldn't I've been working Fuck yeah, let's go full Extension on your arms. No chance. I probably have a check it Did you see that Doug sensor Martin broke the world record for pull-ups Doug sensor Martin in 24 hours just the other day No, yeah, he's been training for like a year to do the cod the I don't know. Let's let's find out

Find out together. So how we how long did it take him? Well, no, it's just the most It's the highest number within 24 hours. Oh, so you go for 24 hours basically as much as you can do in 24 hours You can also rest well, you're covering right? But yeah, so it's like that, you know risk-reward ratio for how much time you Cover versus jug sensor Martin. Oh Damn, there's a lot of this. I want to see a recap I just don't want to watch like him doing it for 24 hours. Was it on the stream? Oh

Fuck dude, I don't want to do this like in my home. What? Oh Only has 10 views He's really fallen off he used to be bigger so so he's on this is the number he's on right now But he's not trying to be big. He's trying to be good at pull-ups No, he used no, no, he used to be way bigger. He just has been training to do this for a while now So like you just kind of like do a couple take a chill and that counts as long as you like your chin above the bar

I think so. I mean, I don't know the rules, but well for pull ups you have to get above the bar Okay, your chin has to be above I bet he's on fire right now in 24 hours the current record That's intense and think about it you're awake for like 24 hours just trying to get out that's true He must be insanely sore and tired. Yeah, oh My god, look at the pinky blisters. You gotta that's not as bad as I thought it would look

That's actually not bad, but you have big padded gloves on oh, he does. Yeah, you still have that right? Yeah Yeah, so we can't rewatch the moment is there a moment where he gets it? I don't know I don't think he has the last thing recorded here All right, it's the next morning. Yeah, I think he said it was like only on twitch so you can't watch it back Other moment when he got it

Is not available on twitch so we can't rewatch the moment no broke the record. That's so crazy, dude So you stream this on oh he streamed it He even stopped with three hours left. Wow because you're probably like still fucked up you can't go harder farther I wonder I wonder how much he well that means he did a Four hours, god damn well wait hold on so if you had three hours left so he did So he could have gone along or wait hold on so how many did he do?

92 50 92 50 divided by 21 He averaged 440 pull-ups an hour Really, what's that per minute? Dude, this is so far increasing Seven Imagine dude, that's insane. Yeah, well also that's really cool that he's broken it. I mean also you get the It's funny shot talking about it. It's funny that the war like the war guys I just pause this for one second. He's in texas now. This is in texas But the funny thing about it is everybody knows who Doug sensor Martin is from a cod perspective

What he's a pro video. He was a pro. Really? Yes So all around good like very so like the people that you see over here Like for Nate shot Nate shots oldest fuck and he's balding and Hey, he's younger than us. Yeah, it's also he's receding to Hey Terry Shout out to him The fuck what why you fucking shit on him for his fucking hair? We both have to stay together us ball people You know I'm saying this stick together high five

Up high I'm not gonna slap down low bro. My hair is You know, I don't want to brag Yeah, you're also like uh, you got a lot younger than us. You have time to lose your hair. I got good record My man did like over 9,000 pull-ups. Yeah, he's still had a couple hours left when I woke up I sat down on my my my setup Turned out his stream. He had like I call it set up where you just like it's not it's not a desk anymore

It's a setup. This is my setup. My gaming. So this is my setup. I sit up my setup now We said that back when we were playing cod gb's my setup we called them setups I didn't realize that was like anything Dude that used to be a thing like back in the day I used to watch like setup videos of people like giving tours of their fucking Desk and monitors and everything to get like ideas for what to do. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they always call them like setup

Tours. Yeah Terry you did that shit I just called him a desk Stop his Body was just cooked. I mean the guy had been up for 20 hours I mean Dude for the majority of the stream that I was tuned into yesterday because he started while I was live yesterday Bro, he didn't he wasn't playing any music. He wasn't talking to nobody He I don't even think he had headphones in that man was yeah

He looked like he was just standing there in silence like as he was taking breaks. Yeah, maybe just want to be like a tough mother Like, no, I could maybe just want to mention a million years Well, he'd always he's always been really ripped and like was always in the gym all the time That was that was the thing about everybody like kind of made fun of him for being like not made fun of him But he was not one of the gamers that were fit which is that they made fun of because

Yeah, yeah, you're a gym fanatic Like playing video games and that's what you do. All you do is play games and go to the gym I was gonna just play video games for my life I have to be a gym fanatic because I'd need that output because the rest of time you're just sitting there like losing Yeah, yeah, yeah becoming which makes sense because you you'd still want to get fit and yeah, because if you don't you're gonna be like a Big big burly person I think David Goggins Won the record

And then like a couple other people want it and then like Cam Haynes's son Beat it again, and then like the other guy is standing next to Doug's cam Haynes The other guy's standing next to Doug in that video beat it

And then Doug beat it the guy standing next to him had the record before. Oh, that's really cool. They're like passing it off Yeah, I think so like passing a bit torch His name is do you don't know who Cam and Haynes is I know Cam Haynes is he's like a bow hunter guy This guy I have no idea that is He's you'd like on the left you'd like him to unbeat it. Yeah, so it's his kid I think it's true it

Yeah, true Haynes pause. So this kid beat David Goggins his record David Goggins his record 4100 I mean this is back when the record was 4,000 right now Cam and Haynes's son True it is trying to break Goggins 24 hour chin-up record You just yeah, you have to get your chin above the bar That's it You know his father's I hate how it's like most on planet earth. Yeah Most of it is just fluff until you get to the end I gotta get 50 I still gonna get 4100 by

Yeah, you know, I just gotta get that in under 24 hours. I'll do that, but The big mark was beating Goggins time and reps so shout out Goggins. Thanks for the encouragement Holy crap He's smiling my hands were just wrecked but um Rogan Haynes 20 text message. That was a big thing Yeah, Cameron Haynes is like buddies with Joe Rogan Goggins That kind of fuel the flame you carried the boats today I was gonna carry the boats. So what is that from?

What carry the boats it's from Goggins. Do you not know who David Goggins is? I know David Goggins is That's David Goggins. That is by the way when I thought of Goggins when I when I first thought of him I thought he was like a big jacked black dude. He was he was a big fat black dude. No jacked black dude Just don't give you wrong. He is jack. You don't know me son Get it 18. You don't know me son Get it 19. You don't know me son. Yeah 20 you got some more

21. Yeah, get again Come on, we want to see it 22 who's gonna carry the boats? That's you buddy. Come on 23 Come on 24 one more David. Who's one more to carry the boats? You're gonna do it. You're gonna do it. You're gonna do it. You did it. Yeah That's what David Goggins saying It's gonna carry the boats It's like when you're ever like doing some hard athletic activity you say don't don't bitch out now

Who's gonna carry the fucking boats? Yeah, that's how you make yourself go longer go harder. Yeah. Goggins is good. I like Goggins In my pull-up video did your Travis said he's he named drop David Goggins. Yeah, that's how we're pulling this up Yeah, he said who's gonna carry the boats? No He said you're like a David Goggins Yeah, you said David Goggins. He said David Goggins

Travis didn't he say in the your video who's gonna carry the boats? That's what I heard. Did he not say that? No But that's like a famous David Goggins saying Yeah, you didn't you? Goggins on taking souls Don't click on it. Oh too bad. You started. I don't know. I watched the one earlier that it said like a Joe Rogan podcast going wrong

What? It was on like I recommended I like the one where it says someone was talking about Goggins is off of this video Yeah, it's like what really you like No There Joe Rogan, are you going wrong? 22 minutes debates to awkward silences Joe will comment

Not even a little bit. No, okay. Oh, this is just when Joe like disagreed with his guest or something like that. Yeah Yeah, let me let me clarify this I don't throw trash on the ground like I'm not saying like we need to like, you know trash the environment like um But do I believe in climate change? No Joe challenged her argument

Suggesting the issues complexity and questioning Candice's quality voice. I'd rather watch like something else than this Yeah, the voice over has seen have you seen this guy? This is maybe you might like this. Oh, I know who this is Oh, there you go. Do that one with that. I'm sailing. Oh, this is like the one that they this is like a made up one Space. Yeah, this is funny But it's it's it's visible. What space is real Are you joking? You're a science denier. What? stop

The the bodies of science have bestowed the truth if you ignore it. I get another fucking lecture from you I'm gonna go crazy When did you start having this opinion shut the fuck up You're fucking idiot, bitch Don't do that anymore. What are you gonna do about it? Bitch You are literally powerless. Yeah, I'm just gonna do whatever I want. Not all you can do about it You could get your ass kicked. Are you threatening me? Yeah

I think you are a far right white supremacist racist. I have no respect for you. You're like my dog Does it ever occur to you? That you're like disgusting just like vulgar. It's like a pig If I were to sort of narrow down my bigotry, I like how I just constantly zooms in every time I'm the best talker in America and you're like some wacko You're a real freak if I take a nine millimeter router 762 by 39 and shoot you can you catch the bullet?

I can't do that. What are you gonna do about it? I got a bigger one. Why would you hide that? That's just wrong. That's not fair I Wanted to pull out a bigger one. I want to see the animals and everyone I love that's all from the same podcast. They pulled this clip suck. Yeah, because they're yeah You got real fat. Yeah You need some myth You know, okay that that makes sense dude your films are so bad. What? Like every film that you made

Was so stupid what's happening right now. You didn't like it. You got to quit. You're terrible. Oh my god What are you talking about man? I'm pretty good at this like you're delusional. Jesus dude You think you could Dude, I saw your uh live show. I was like, whoa shit. It sucks Yeah, that sucks, but it was tight you have bad taste. You're just a stoneman, dude This is he wasn't on this podcast. Okay. He was on his own thing with rogan not okay. Let's It's sparr. Let's go. This is nuts

Good luck, bitch. He kills people Cunk I have a high you this is pretty stupid. The Tucker Carlson was especially well done. That one was not good. No, that one's not good There are some older ones that were funny Uh your door Are they the one where he hits on Tulsi Gabbard a bunch? Oh, Alex Alex ones are so funny Oh a 10 too, yeah Your dude is like an alien spaceship like aliens bigger than that. But hold please. You're drunk Yeah I

Want to do is talk to you right now. I want to just say I love you look look to Let me write down are you okay? That music is so good Let me just tell you oh, jeez. Did you see Tim's smile? I'm biologically a girl. No, is that true? Yep. Come on. Yep. Well, how do we know Joe Joe? Joe, I swear to god. I want to have sex with you Let's not go down that roll so sexy This is when it gets good that seems crazy. I want to give me the big I think it's a lot

Don't give me one of those you keep that shit away from me. My no no. Let's go right now. No I'll get my money right now. Stop. You blew me. I'm really good at it. He's crazy. Oh my god. What's the goal gay orgy? This is my version of a make-a-wish kid going to disney world. I mean, it's a big gay hookup deal. Oh, Jesus christ. No, I can't Just have some no, I can't Be fucking ass. Okay. Hold on settle down. All right. Okay. I'm down. I cannot Give up your body or I will kill everybody

You're going up against forces that are way too powerful. You don't even know what you're you're you're knocking on here Put me like choke me out. I think it was like Brandon Shaw and then Alex Jones was on there too. You should do uh choke me out. Joke me out right now. What's up? Should like that find this song do like a Chazam song reader thing and figure out what this song is. What so I can have it so I can play it for other people

Just take notes on this video. Let me hear it. Let me hear it. I confess this love for you. Let me hear it If you go against these these people earlier on you find your back then go back a little bit This is why you get back to the beginning. I want to watch this Shut up. I'll kill you. There's a lot of issues. Shut up. This is a very important ritual I'm in charge bend over I'm getting hammered. Yeah, well you could be molested by worse people All right, you're back to the beginning

Can you shazam find that song? No, no, no just go back to the beginning of the thing I need you I need you I need you I need you I can't get it You can get it Oh, shit All right, go You're gonna use to do is like an alien spaceship like aliens figure this out or something hold hold please but hold please you're drunk Yeah It's not gonna work because like there's too much talking. Can you do it through your macbook like just I'm sure it's on there Right What shazam?

No, so why would it be on my macbook? Go to the description. Go to the description Yeah, maybe it's the Eternal garden by Dan Henig Probably this one is probably the first one Well, let's find out together. All right What was it internal garden Why do you mean we're fucking This how it started is fucking hilarious Man, I don't know this good really. Hey, Tyler. You happy I'm He's more than I don't know why that you cared so much for that song He's just what is this fucking feet person doing?

There's an hour long version where it's just on repeat. Yeah. Oh my god. Go back to the search results Check check this guy out though. He's got a lot of funny ones. Oh, this one's funny. He's like into this chick Oh, she's hot. Yeah, she's like a diver Valentina Tom. Oh, I think I might have heard of her She like spearfish is like the Caribbean inch like that. Maybe that Valentina Thomas or something. Yeah I've been watching you I find people online and I watch them

You had this amazing photo from a couple days ago. You're wearing a bathing suit There is Jamie nailed it What Jamie What do you mean picture my bathing suits Wow That's very impressive. This is the greatest thing ever. You're perfect. It's romantic Can you stop talking right now? This is the greatest thing ever I want to live my life with you. I'm gonna do this forever

What? Well, I have a boyfriend That has never stopped me in the past That's not gonna happen Ask you how old you are I don't think my age is an issue Oh Jesus, you're in your 30s You guys are shit together by now You being ridiculous She's thinking about settling down, having a family We're doing nothing Torsche I don't like this That is one of the dumbest fucking things I've ever heard Let's have a baby I'm sorry but no Let's have a baby Like me, he does this

No, he's gonna take a turn for the worse now They always take a turn Alright, I'm gonna go Lock the door You haven't seen these They always do the turn at the end They don't hold their breath They just gag on water and drown Did you imagine that somehow This could be the end of your life? What the fuck am I doing here?

You're gonna die I don't want to be here I don't want to be here There's gonna be some blood They always end up with some stupid thing Where they fall out of gun Anyway, check it out If you haven't seen this I see it, I don't know of the person Yo Some are better than others You all excited? For what? For Monday Dude, it's the best time of the year It's the best time of the year Dude, it's the Super Bowl for phones, man Oh, are you watching this?

I used to I used to be like Put the NFL music You mean like watching it live? It's not live from years That's not the NFL music Put it on It's not live, it premieres It used to be live Before they started doing their whole Yeah, good point Can you pull up a Can you pull up a video saying every iPhone is ten times better than the previous one? Do they have clips of that?

Where it's just like This iPhone is ten times better than this Or more powerful than this one from last year or some shit like that You've been passed again? It is so rank Oh my god That is so bad I just want to let you know that every time you fart it goes towards him and I can't smell it It's like going out to the window That was like a five second reaction That's good reaction time It is so bad Oh my god, it's like rotten eggs What am I playing, Terry?

I just want a compilation of them saying everything's better If you write X, it's going to give you iPhone X I didn't write X I know where you wrote X, iPhone X iPhone X was X, still mass What do you want me to type, Terry?

Type in like a compilation of the keynotes saying iPhones are ten times better than they or like something like that along those lines Can't think of anything Then the last iPhone, there was when you did it Then the last iPhone or some shit You better like make sure you get it right before you leave There we go, there we go That one, the top one This is what you're going to get on Monday, everybody This is good That's why I'm really excited to tell you about an entirely new version

the iPhone 3GS Because this is the most powerful and fast I like how they made it really cool We made a new phone, boys and girls It was a 3 but now we're adding an NS This is the iPhone we've ever made We're introducing iPhone 4 This is beyond the doubt the most precise thing one of the most beautiful things we've ever made iPhone 4 team was pretty good Today we're going to introduce iPhone 5 It is the most beautiful product we have ever made, bar none This is iPhone 5S

The team has carefully considered every detail to make this the most beautiful phone ever made These are the new iPhones The iPhone 6 and the iPhone 6 Plus They are without a doubt the best iPhones we've ever done This is what you're going to get the entire fucking keynote iPhone 6S and the iPhone 6S Plus the iPhones you are about to see are the most advanced Remember back when they were doing S models How stable was that?

Because they didn't want to go from 7 They just were like, eh, we're just going to stand for anything It was just the intro model between 5 and 6 and 6 and 6 It was like, yeah, so it went from 3GS It was 3GS, 4 4S, 5, 5S 6, 6S, 7, 7S and then 8 It wasn't a 7S It went from 7, 8, 9, 10 It was like a 7 Plus or something Well the Plus came out in the 6's which was the bigger phone This is iPhone 7 But it's the best iPhone that we have ever created iPhone 8

You know what? He's not wrong Every single new one is the best one they've made It's like the same concept it was saying It's like this concept of saying, oh, freshly baked bread The new thing is the newest thing we have ever made You're not going to believe this It's the newest thing It's good It's fucking good It's the highest quality video capture ever in a smartphone This is the most powerful and smartest chip ever in a smartphone This glass is the most durable ever in a smartphone

This is iPhone 10 It is the biggest leap forward to see the original iPhone This is iPhone 10 Pause, pause, pause, pause Look up real quick Just do it right now. Donald Trump biggest best It's so bad It's just like constantly freshly baked bread Yeah, it's frozen but I freshly baked it every day for you Let's go down What? How is there not a compilation? They get the best beautiful Look a big, big, big, big wall Best big wall?

Yeah, Donald Trump Best big wall Or just do the best big wall Donald Trump Pleads to build the wall Sure We're going to build the wall We have no choice We have no choice Imagine how this dude got there Build that wall Build that wall Build that wall Build that wall Build that wall Build that wall I was a bad call I was sure that you would come up with That's the iPhone we've ever created The iPhone 11 Pro And these are the most powerful and most advanced iPhones that we

have ever built in a stunning new design This is iPhone 12 Pro The largest display we've ever shipped in an iPhone iPhone 13 Pro These are the best iPhones we've ever created iPhone 14 Pro and iPhone 14 Pro Max The best iPhones we've ever created and iPhone 15 Pro These are the best and most capable iPhones we've ever made Yeah They slightly changed it It's not ideal You'd think a company that's like the richest company ever in the history of the world would be able to come up

with something more original They're spending billions of dollars on marketing The ad campaign for these things You'd think they'd have someone who's intelligent and they'd be able to do something Meet Eye Bottle Let's meet Eye Bottle It's 52 seconds It's probably going to say Polycarbonate Oh, turn it down Drink, water Piss Prime Sigma Design It's 0.69 liters Sun Design Anti-Spill 100% required 100% lead Made from 100% lead 100% safe The most revolutionary water bottle Well, one more thing

Introducing A drop I knew it would show your drinks Shared 69,420 plus different drinks Wait, what was the... Oh, go back There was an asterisk There's a footnote There's a cliff note Certain drinks are not available in some regions Not available in North Korea or Ohio due to sanctions Wait, wait, go back Go back Posit No more Posit 69G selling a shake Available in Ohio Starting at 69,000 I thought it was just...

Price in Canadian dollars Meet your new best friend That's pretty good I just like the part where... My favorite thing was My favorite thing is when it was just that guy What was the guy that just said Polycarbonate Do the history of Apple Johnny Ives The funniest person ever I'm not watching 16 minutes of The history of Apple This company is pretty much The most valuable company on earth But it was never supposed to be like this This almost didn't exist But why? Let me just take you back to...

It's 1969 The baby boomers were all grown up and they hated their country They didn't want to fight in the war that was happening They had new ideas about what the world was They loved their country Which is why they didn't want to fight the war They just wanted to change and burn their draft cards Steve Wozniak We're gonna watch this Tyler?

It's not what I thought it was gonna be Steve Wozniak Pretty much the creator It's like the same thing I think Wozniak was the creator of the The software And then Steve's jobs took it from him Steve's jobs Is this Craig?

I love Craig We're gonna watch you know what Craig is Craig's funny so man It's only the same thing over and over again but he's funny dude There's always a shirt that has an extra button undone It's like I'm great And then sometimes he sweats He needs to undo a button one more button Of course I can do anything I would normally do on my Mac when I'm on AirPlay For instance launch GameCenter And here I see my GameCenter account I like how this is a clap Like you can play poker Yeah

As well as all my Like I chose that right He's got a good sense of humor I can also see all of my GameCenter friends I've got one here Mr. X who's been meaning to play me In this new game that's coming out Called CSR Racing So I think we can summon him to the stage for a little competition It's a stick It's an astronaut Where's the clap Damn We've hit a real issue Due to a dwindling supply of cats So I'm proud to present to you today OS X Sea Lion That's not even that funny

That's actually really good That's when they changed to like National Parks and shit What did you want? Tyler? That other one? No there's the one Crush That might be funny This is just the commercial that they pulled Is that commercial? This is a commercial that They pulled Because it had so much This is the actual commercial There was something about the commercial that This was an Apple commercial? For the new iPad Because it's so thin it can't be crushed And it has all these activities in it?

It has all these like Books, guitars, everything There was something about this There's only some item in there that they weren't allowed to have No, it was like It was Uncrushed It was Uncrushed Apple commercial Wait, wait, wait EyeBottle Max Pro Hold on It's the same bottle This is the pro version But It's pro Bigger And better Hold on Hold on Even better Anti-skill lid Works in all conditions All of this plus All of the features on the base model For only $400

That was cheaper than the last one That was way cheaper than the last one No, so that Eyeballs So stupid Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait That's a good title Eyeballs The Crush commercial was showcasing the iPad's Pro's capability of Not getting destroyed By a hydraulic press But the concerns was That's not true though It can get destroyed by a press Correct, but it's destruction Of traditional creative tools Such as cameras, guitars, typewriters In favor of Apple's technology

So people were getting mad Because they were destroying Like a piano, a guitar Shut the fuck up, it's a commercial Like all of that, that's what it was Some people don't have anything To anchor their lives, like to tether their lives Because the creative The dumbest shit They have no home base Point of reference for how dumb that is So it was just like destroying creative Um Alright, this is when you can't afford Apple Vision Pro So you get eyeballs Interesting, Apple Vision Pro Wow, can't wait

Just can't wait To strap a computer to my face Exactly, how much What? How much? Money Is it? Question mark Money, yeah Here at Apple, you don't believe in money We believe in great products Apple Vision is the result of Jackets that's worth $3,500 Is that the real price tag?

$3,500 I work at McDonald's FYI Average Kidney $4,000 It's okay I will just make my own Your own, that's impossible Vision Pro took 20 decades of reshirts 50,000 engineers I have a degree in coloring books And so below there I'm talking about That's pretty good Eyeballs Is that a roll of toilet paper? Yeah Introducing Eyeballs Wait, does he have a chord?

Yeah, yeah What a joke First of all, I love that they call him Tim Apple Because that's his name Everybody calls him Tim Apple Just wait I haven't even turned it on yet Or turned it on You're funny There's no way this thing works Prepare to be amazed Prepare to be amazed The charging button The charging sound Your Eyeballs Vision Pro Max S Plus Ultra is overheating I'm going to put it off and unplug the device immediately Heat warning

What? Don't worry Small bug Don't go away Uh-oh Your device has reached a temperature of 119,000 degrees which is 12 times hotter than the sun Run On that second thought I don't think this is normal Normal? It's hotter than the sun Maybe I should Yes, please Never mind Why not? I kind of glued the charger to my car battery Car battery Yep What kind of car? Andriotta Why? Oh no Oh no, no, no, no, no, what?

This is bad. Andriotta Plus Apple product equals Good thing It's not an Apple product It's a Samsung And it blows up My favorite thing in life don't cost any money It's really clear that most precious resources we all have is time Why did you leave out the Because he can't read very well? Because he can't read very well Oh really? I'm dyslexic Dang, I'm a jerk I'm really dyslexic It's a problem If there's complicated words I read the screen Like things Wait, wait, wait, wait What was that video?

What was that video that you sent? My son has autism And then he starts laughing My son suffers from autism I don't suffer from it I just have it You don't suffer from it? I'm suffering from it Is this song available in your streaming service? No It's a YouTube thing Does that piss you off? A little bit I saved it, don't worry Is this the guy from value-tainment? Mm-hmm Just loose, loose Wait, what?

Dude, I love this I got some retire practice I went through a piece where I watched cracking videos where they would do the necks and they would pull the legs It's just great Have you seen those?

I've seen a couple of them Just loose, loose Loose, loose Okay, good And breathe Good Okay, just be loose Good My life is so hard Jesus Christ Nice Loose, loose Because I love I used to watch these videos all the time and every move he's doing is just so perfect for what they do It's how they, you hear the noise and they delay the video by a second so it's cracking and then you put it Oh no What did you do?

Loose, loose, loose Good, good Make it loose, make it loose No, because Are you loose, loose? Every time in the videos Every time in the videos, that's what they say they say good, I feel like it's all great they say good, good He literally is nailing it Did you feel the pop? Okay, take a deep breath Exhale Did you feel the release? You're doing great You know what I mean? Exhale, you're doing fantastic

You know? Yes, yes Yes It's really, actually the funny thing you bring that up, I was at work and one of my co-workers is going to the car factory because he has a little bit of scoliosis and they're saying like if they can adjust him back to fix his scoliosis he can gain an inch Oh wow Yeah, he's already 6'4", so if he does he'll be 6'5", anyways I was like, dude, I can pop you back right now and this dude's like he's not jacked, but he's a big dude Pretty heavy I can pop you, I can crack you

and he's like, try it I was like, did you do it? I can't pop him, I can barely get my arms around him Dude's thick He's not heavy, he's not like a big 6'4", guy But he's thick When I mean by big 6'4", guy, I mean he's probably like 2.75", not like 300 pounds But that's not someone you can pop their back Exactly my point But it's not muscle, is it fat?

It's not muscle, he's not like jacked He's lean So he's like jacked No, I know, but I mean like he's not like a muscly 2.70, he's muscly It's not like a much fat fat boy He's like a decent weight through in your 6'4' Yeah He's a big dude He's a little heavy But yeah, so I try to pop him and it didn't work Just relax, you're gonna feel a little pop That's what I'm saying It's like always like You're gonna feel a little pop You're gonna go, yeah Yeah, it's good, it's good Breathe

Just relax, take a deep breath Dude, I just, it's just so good Have you ever been to the chiropractor?

I've never got adjusted I want to say I have It was like a monthly thing for me growing up I think I have in the past No, you just did it Not in the last two years though I just used to watch a lot of these videos on YouTube where they would do the pops Just like I like the satisfying sound Like that just sounds so good And that's why this is amazing I've never seen any of his skits I've only ever seen I've only ever seen him on the whatever fucking Patrick's show or whatever it is

Watch the one on the bottom first This is a series Bottom, bottom, bottom, bottom, bottom, bottom, bottom This is a series of fun This is Phoenix? This is Dona, Arizona Isn't this Star Wars? Nice Oh, this is Anakin?

Olivia is Anakin Yeah, that makes sense That's not actually how it happened I don't remember how it happened Wait, pause this, hold on Anakin jumps off and he not just legs off or something I like how you stab her That's not how it happened Dude, he just chops his legs off We just kind of went for it Oh, that makes sense It doesn't die Olivia is like gawking Yeah, she did good And the Oscar goes to Is that Alex at here?

Yeah And the Oscar goes to Best Supporting Actress Right the magical llama, I will That's a good one Juju, Juju, Juju Juju, Juju, Juju Ah, Yoda, oh Juju Yoda, oh Juju Alright, cut Dude, this is like wholesome children's like youth I just want you to know It's just so much better than doing those dances That's a good title for the show Ride the magical llama Ride the magical llama, I will I know, but it's too long for Mike Ride the magical llama, Yoda, I am Do it or not, there is no trotting

Ride the magical llama, I will That was in the moment Ride the magical llama That's the good one, I like that Ride the magical llama It's a lot of weirds going on there Ride the magical llama Ride the magical llama, I will So we got these glow sticks for the pool at night Because the pool lights weren't working well We were there There was dark, it was just dark Which is kind of cool the first two nights because you could do stuff in the dark But we got the glow sticks

What kind of mischievous things were you doing in the dark and the pool? With my 40 year old aunts and uncles I wasn't saying like Those are the only people that were there The answer is nothing There were like no hot girls in Arizona No, Sedona There's not? There were like no teenagers Where is Sedona? Is it next to ASU? Is up north in Arizona? North? You should just go to ASU You get head on Wait, why did you go to Sedona for?

My grandfather's 80th birthday We rented like a super cool house Yeah, so it's up through Oh yeah, you're not going to find anybody there Phoenix It was about a two plus mile drive Yeah, if you went to Phoenix You definitely get head on It was right in the middle of basically Arizona ASU is in No, no, no, you think that the girls would head on to me Yeah, wait, in Phoenix? What's in Phoenix? I think ASU is in Phoenix

Is it not? I don't fucking know Look at ASU, Arizona State University State University I am applying to colleges very soon If you want to get accepted to a college Go to ASU, they'll accept anybody Ride the Magical Lama Oh, ASU is down there There's a bunch of campuses, look Well, ASU is all the way down there But there's all these campuses I get it, I don't know which one ASU That's what I mean, they have multiple campuses What was the original ASU? I don't fucking know, is this Phoenix?

That's Phoenix, yeah Okay, Phoenix We're down on the bottom of Phoenix there There's that one, the far right one Tucson? No, it's in Phoenix Why does this matter? Oh, no, just asking if you want to get it Me? High school? Okay, gotcha Wait, did you just ask Gray once at college? Hell yeah That's a great fucking question, Tyler I love that question It's in Tempe, Arizona, that's where the headquarters is That's the guy who can't read Do you know?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry It's a throwback Wait, where is it? It's in Tempe, the top one Tempe? No, on the left hand side, top one Where does it take you? It's in Phoenix It's in Tempe, that's where the main site is It's in Tempe, Phoenix, Arizona Tempe, Phoenix Bro, you work at Amazon there, right? You're like a manager or something?

Yeah, me just outed him on the show It's okay We talk about it all the time We talk about it all the time And if you really cared You could edit it out If I really cared I only make him edit mine out We can edit mine out too Yeah, you didn't want me to say the thing Bowling?

I just said don't talk about it We can talk about the Bowling Starliner That's cool, and I like space But not about the Pepe, you're directly responsible for the side of that plane coming off Oh, great I'll start with the assassinations Michael, what about the alleged Disappearances? What do you have to say about that, bro? Chill out Terry's got to go play for his team You represent We got a wrap It's one o'clock, they'll get in How did you enjoy the Grand Damn thing? The Grand Damn?

The Grand Damn? I'm hard-worded over here The Grand Canyon? The Grand Coulee Damn? Did you go to the Van Dam Clanshod? Hold on You were in Sonoda? Sonoda? Sonoma? Sedona? And you drove all the way there to the Hoover Dam? The Grand Canyon? I thought you went to the Hoover Dam Where's the Grand Canyon? The Grand Canyon is up Up there I like that Where is it? The Huli Pappy The Huli Pappy That's all the Grand Canyon It's like 277 miles long and it goes up to the stakeholder This over here?

This is the Grand Canyon It's all of that Cool Anything that's part of the Colorado River is the Grand Canyon I got some cool pictures here I've been in the Grand Canyon It's pretty cool Yeah Yeah I went when I was younger I went with my faja It was really funny because when we went they put these ropes saying don't cross this line because a bunch of people were doing this stupid Dying Selfie sticks were really popular at the time They dropped them

They wouldn't drop when they would step over that line get really close and then they'll fall off and then die A lot of people died A lot of people died at the Grand Canyon Yeah, that's once in a while They would like film themselves dying?

No, Mike They would go to the edge and then the edge would break off and then they would die They put these lines saying don't cross it and then people still cross it and then we were talking to someone and they're like yeah That's a gigantic tarantula Holy shit That was just in your yard? That's on the deck What the fuck did you do about it? We watched it and my grandpa put his hand right next to it too To see the size Did you kick it off the thing? Or just walked away?

Good thing they're not poisonous They're like legs But I love it It's like sunken cars The wheels are really close to the body You mean the lowered suspension? Yeah, the lowered suspension They're probably on airbags I just wanted to know Wait, so you had no deck lights in the back and that's why you're shining light on it? We just to see it better You can see the hair on his legs Does it move?

It's fine We also saw wild pigs It's fine that tarantulas aren't poisonous but they are freakishly big They're insanely big But if you want to see something freakishly big Oh, I have more videos for you I don't want to do this I don't like spiders Camel spiders? That's the Grand Canyon It's 10 miles wide and 277 miles long So this was just like a lookout tower area?

Yeah, it's like a few miles deep too I think I have mine on my Facebook but I don't really go on my Facebook anymore Olivia got a lot of really cool pictures where she would take videos and stand there for like two minutes and then she would get the shot when the lightning hit So it's like this Just watch it Welcome back to another episode of Storm Chases We are currently surviving Oh, I thought this was another like home video from Arizona It is a home video from Arizona Yeah, it's Hailing

We're in a car Who the fuck are these people? That's my cousin in Olivia That's just heavy rain Just... Welcome back to another episode of Storm Chases Are you driving again? We are currently surviving town What is this? Driving down a highway in the middle of shit ass nowhere We are chasing a tornado We are chasing a tornado We have a long way This is not the last funny one We can't see anything Pray for us Pray for us Where was this? In Arizona It was there, it was not in Arizona

Who was driving? Your driving? My mother Just... Mikey Welcome back to another episode of Storm Chases I've been doing some soul searching Consulting the ancient scriptures Man, you look uncomfortable in that Wondering Is there a god? And then this guy parted And I knew Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Where are you going? To the Grand Canyon Oh, just you guys went?

No, we all went Yeah, just more cars Yeah That's Jared in front of us in a Bronco Oh Oh Oh my god Oh That's not a funny video I don't know, I send that to you Just Jared driving Just Jared driving Turn it up, turn it up Oh Oh I'm an American living on a chevrolet From a top road from Berlin I'm just born in a south Sometimes I have a big mouth When I see something that I don't like I'm gonna say it You didn't even like You like sung like half the song And then you just say I'm gonna say it

Wait, isn't like, what was that one song Like from cars? Like the highway? Yeah, that's not like your favorite song I can't do that I can't do the instrumental part That's like it's favorite song Boo-boo Life is a highway I'm gonna ride it Oh night I think the first time we had a song We should have this song You're going my way Yeah Highlights that you want to share No, it's just a tarantula I was trying to find a video one night On the deck, so you know those big things of birdseed?

Yeah, look up Camel Spiders Like the walks of birdseed That you sit on the ground One day, during the day time A wild pig called the Havalina came up And started eating it And we were like, hey, what are the chances This guy goes And comes back And brings his family And so the sun sets And So the way the house is laid out There's a porch that wraps around the entire house It's a very big house And there's about 10 15 feet of deck space And then there's just a drop off Like a hill

So the wild pigs About 13 of them I can hear myself pretty well It's not that you can hear yourself pretty well Yeah About 13 of them came up the cliff And started eating this birdseed So we got 13 wild pigs on our deck And they were like yelling And they were like eating each other too They get all your teeth And they go, ahhh One of them would start eating The birdseed in the same spot One of them would be eating it And the other would try to eat in the same spot And then fighting each other

And then it was like blood Anyway, so we wanted to use the pool Because we had these glow sticks And then blood got in the pool But it was on the deck And so what we did was We were like, how are we gonna do this I played Scotland Forever Out the window And the guy was like, what's that Like a broomstick and he was like, hmmm And then finally I was like Hey, somebody get a hose Get some water out there and all the women are going like Don't hurt the pigs And we were like, fuck them

My uncle Jared My uncle Jared goes around the house And comes in the back gate with a hose And he sprays them all And then they all slowly make their way down the hill And so then we're like going So the pool is about 10 feet from the house And it's protected So we like one at a time Well Jared is like Hosing the pigs to keep them Because if he stops hosing they come back up To get to the birdseed Hold on, I have a question on this Had any moment in time When you were spraying with the hose

Did anybody decide To just grab the birdseed And just throw it over the hill We did that So after we sprayed the pigs down the hill My grandma was going Alex, stop it He's like And then he rolls down the hill And it gets caught on a tree Wait, wait, wait Literally, and it gets caught on a tree Halfway down the hill So they're like at the birdseed Halfway down the hill So we may get to the pool deck One or two at a time This is all to get to the pool Now we're on the pool

So the entire time we're in the pool We can hear the pigs growling Like outside the fence And then Anytime anybody had to use the bathroom Somebody would have to stand guard with the hose And spray them back down the hill Were you scared the pigs would attack you if you came out?

Dude, these things are vicious I'll send you a video in a second I want to hear the noises Oh yeah, it's wild, it's crazy Send them, let's go And that was the same night that we saw scorpions And we also saw the tarantulas You know what, fuck Arizona I just want you to know there's scorpions But the entire time we're swimming There's scorpions that live in Arizona That you can only find With UV lights And they're very, very small And they're very, very poisonous Yep, yep, yep, yep

And then there's people that go out at night To do this job To milk them They milk them? Wait, can you back up What animal is poisonous? Like crazy? There is a scorpion In Arizona It's very small It's like crazy deadly? It's super deadly But like, people go You can only see them via like a UV light Really? And what about them? They're just very poisonous You said people go out and milk them? That's what you do, yeah For venom? You milk them Why do you want the venom?

Can you tell me what they're called? Just look up UV light Scorpion deadly shit Don't write deadly shit, but You could do deadly, that might help Keywords I don't know what they're called, but I know they're scorpions I got some visuals for you here when you're ready Ask a biologist Yeah, see Buy a UV light to look for scorpions What?

These guys? They glow So it's not that they're not visible But they only come out at night and you need You can see them during the day But it's easier to see them But it's easier to see them at night with a UV light Bark scorpion There it is Okay, go down I want to look at that spider I don't want to do this Look at it, look at it, look at it, purple I don't want to Yeah That's a fake picture That's a visual art You said visual art Yeah, they're Look at barks, look at barks Scorpion

And then, like Not the image, but like How deadly they are The only reason why I know this Is because I used to watch dirty jobs A lot Because I thought it was a good show But Like, he went out and did all this too He had to snatch them up by like With like little pinchers And you got to get them by the pincher Because they fucking kill you Yeah What's that mean?

Hmm Painful Potential deadly venom of an Amazon scorpion Stick little effect on grasshopper mice Scientists have found Scorpion tux in the X-Lite can Anal Sorry, what about the anus? Oh, that said that What about the anus? Jisic? Write that down, what about the anus? No, Tyler Do we have one that says put it in your your anus?

Stop Anyways, alright continue Let's see what these are Okay, so start at the bottom one This was the pig that came during this Holy shit They're called hovelinas with a J Hovelina Hovelina Yeah, you pronounce it, it's hovelina So, yeah, that's kind of Big and kind of creepy, but yeah, if it had tusks It would be even more terrifying Oh, that's true, we don't have tusks Yeah, because the boars have tusks There were some baby ones too, so once the entire group came There were like pigs

Baby pigs that could fit under that pig That could have been a bark That could have been a bark scorpion Yeah, so now, yeah This is when they all came back later that night They look very scared to me No, my god, this is gonna try on that shoe My shoe, mister I like my socks It just takes off a bit Mm-hmm They're fighting Everybody from third brush Everybody, come on, come on This is what I heard when we were living Here I know, I was like, oh my god I'm glad you didn't shove one Jesus

Yeah, when there's Jared with the broom That's like a whole pack of people Yeah, we counted You should have led with this story, Tyler You shall not pass Yeah, I know that guy One of the rings This is gonna be like one robe You're causing him to fight You're causing him to fight They're already fighting each other for the food I know, but don't make it worse I can't control the infighting Your grandma's always like I told you, I know Don't hurt the pigs You need a longer stick That's the end

I don't know if you've circled by the bull I bet you five bucks I bet you five bucks If you just ran out there and just scared them Hardcore, they would just run I think you're right Yeah, just no one wanted to get bit Or something, get rabies or something Does that make sense? Do they have rabies? I would assume You don't know though Alright, Tyler, is that it?

Yeah, one more for you One more, then we're gonna wrap I don't know what I want to do I might want to keep this phone Sending, and there's a scorpion We saw one of them And then a second one came up This is us enjoying your rice Your rice? Mike, you make rice? Wait, you're gonna tell them about the rice I think I I don't understand this What? It's Mike's rice, we got some rice I got banging rice, Tyler has had it And he bought a pack when he was down there I bought three packs

What is it? It's just rice, good rice It's really good My grandma, you know what she bought? Instant rice, like in rich Were those pans on the stove Teflon coated?

Yeah, but it's a rental There was a cast iron Most rentals have like Stainless I'm surprised I had a pressure cooker That's true, we were very happy about that It was a great point It was like an Instant Pot Pro Oh, Pro It's a digital screen and you cycle through this I'm gonna get the pro version of the little one Yeah, yeah, yeah, there you go I gotta ask you something after we stop Yeah, dude, what's up?

Final thoughts, Terry Final thoughts, Tyler Oh, no, vote for me Vote for me, people Also, we didn't plug our donation But whatever Is this non-copyrighted music? Is it a donation for dyslexic people? Yes, could be for whatever you want I'm gonna play this music again Is it copyright free?

But there is a donate button Alright, Terry, final thoughts Technically, this is a copy-free But if you want to You can press the donate button If you use a podcasting 2.0 app Check this out The back half of this podcast was bigger Check this out, you should have left with that story I told you, you should have left with that story I just want you to know If you always have a story, lead with it So if you listen to our podcast In a compatible 2.0 app You can hit the donate button In the app

And it automatically sends you to A site where you can give us money Wow, have you gotten any money yet?

I don't know, that's Terry No To answer your question I just want you to know If it says first to donate It means no one has donated Be the first one to support there's no audience Which means no one has donated We want your money We're poor But if you'd like to donate, please donate Mike's about to buy an Instant Pot Pro He's loaded Mike's poor, we're using our sponsor money That we don't have We couldn't find a decent pump for the Air mattress last minute

That sounds like a personal problem with Mike Dang, the back half of this podcast is bigger Did you fart again? Yeah Thanks for watching out